On past and future
By Carla
DISCLAIMER
Challenger, Marguerite, Roxton, Malone and Veronica belong to Telescene, not to me. No infraction to their rights is meant, I'm just having a little fun. I own nothing but the story.
Chapter V
Marguerite couldn't believe that Roxton was still acting like that. It had been two weeks and he still avoided her whenever he could. There wasn't a day when she didn't think about their last real conversation, the way he had looked at her. He had been so sad, and so had she. Still, he was the one who walked away from her. She was Marguerite Krux and that was not going to change for any man, even if that man was Lord John Roxton. "Go back to your husband Marguerite.", that was the last thing he had said. She had tried to get him to talk to her, but it was useless. So, after a couple of days, she had done as she had been told: she had gone back to her husband.
She had already given away too much of her real feelings for Roxton, and obviously he was not willing to stand by her. He had just asked two questions, he obviously hadn't liked the answer and suddenly it was over, without an explanation or whatsoever. He had hurt her. He was the one she always figured would never do that, yet he did.
So, with a bruised ego and a broken heart, Keith didn't sound that bad. Although it was just for the fun with him, it was better than dreaming of a love which obviously wasn't hers for the taking.
Roxton watched as she entered the room with Keith. They had spent the night together. Again. So it was really over, he couldn't get himself to believe that, not when he missed her like the air to breath. Funny, he had never thought you could actually miss someone who lived in your same house. He kept telling himself it was for the best, but that was getting harder and harder to believe. Anyway, the bottom line was she didn't trust him.
He had told her to go back to her husband, but somehow he had never thought she would actually do it. That made it clear who she wanted to be with, at least for him. When he had walked away from her, part of himself had wanted Marguerite to stop him, to tell him all the things she had said that she couldn't tell anyone. But she hadn't. She had allowed him to walk away. And he had. Why? He didn't know. Because he had been scared, mad, disappointed, heartbroken, sad... in love. And he still was. And she was not with him.
He figured it would be better to see less of her, try to forget the closeness they once shared as friends. He stopped accompanying her to her daily baths as he had always done. Keith was too eager to fill his role. And she allowed it. And so did he. And they were both in pain, he could see it in her eyes. But, who would be strong enough to give the first step back and apologize? He wasn't sure that he was that brave anymore.
"Another plant?" Marguerite sounded profoundly annoyed after Challenger's long exposition of the curative characteristics of a new flower he had discovered. The lecture ended with a request to the younger members of the group to join him in his quest for more of this flowers.
"This isn't just any plant Marguerite! It could save your life!" Challenger acted deeply offended.
"Talk to me then." That said, she took her hat and covered her eyes with it. They were in the living room, she was sitting on the couch, resting her back on Keith's chest, who was sitting by her side. She was a little uneasy with Roxton standing directly in front of her and pretending she was air, but she was done with that. If he was mad with she and Keith, he ought to say something. She wanted him to say something. Anything. Veronica was in a chair nearby and Malone was standing by Roxton.
"I don't know darling" Keith started ", I could use the walk."
"Then suit yourself, but I'm staying."
"Come on Marguerite..."
"She's right Challenger." Everyone was startled by Roxton's voice. Probably because he had been like a ghost the last couple of weeks, mostly because he was actually acknowledging Marguerite's existence "We should be looking for a way out, not going out in excursions to see what else is new around here." Roxton was being truthful, since Marguerite was out of her reach now, he couldn't see a reason why to hang out in the plateau any longer.
"We should still make the best of our time here, don't you think so?" Challenger asked. But Roxton didn't even answer.
"I'll join you Professor." Malone offered "I'm always interested in new things."
"I'll go as well, you'll need someone to watch your backs." Veronica volunteered as well.
"Fine! Mr. Lawrence, are you coming too?" Challenger asked, if only to piss Roxton for the way he had been acting lately.
"Please Professor, it's Keith. Sure, I'll go." Keith smiled, playing with Marguerite's hair. That was as much as Roxton could take, so he locked himself in his room. Everyone soon drifted to make the arrangements for the trip, until Keith and Marguerite were alone.
She was slightly nervous about staying behind alone with Roxton. And after what she had said about the expedition, she could not take it back and volunteer to go without making it obvious she was pretty much hiding from John.
"Are you really going?" she asked.
"Yes. Don't worry you'll survive a couple of days without my charming self."
"More than a couple of days I'd say."
"Probably." Keith smiled before adding "Roxton won't bite you... unless you ask him to, that is."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You know what."
"Shut up."
"Relax, I really hope you guys work this out, it's getting increasingly harder to live in the same house with you both."
"Then move out."
"I keep forgetting how sweet you can be... Still, you do that and I'll use this chance to see if I can do some hunting... you know, lurk some blonde wild creature into my sleeping bag..." with that he stood up and went towards the room he shared with Marguerite. She repeated to herself his words and rushed after him.
"Keith!" she looked mad, he was changing his clothes for the trip ahead.
"What is it darling?" he asked innocently.
"Don't 'darling' me now, we've talked about this!"
"This what?"
"Come on Lawrence! Back away from Veronica!"
"I know this is not jealousy, so what is the problem? You know me, and you know I don't force anyone to sleep with me..."
"No, you'll just seduce her for the fun of it."
"That's right." He was now shirtless, their faces an inch away and his blue eyes shining "Not unlike you."
"I know that." Her eyes where sending fire when she talked "But I'm telling you, stay away from Veronica."
"Why? She's a grown woman, she's beautiful, sexy, and her boyfriend is such a loser. Face it gorgeous, she wants me badly. Don't you see the way she keeps staring at me?"
"She's a child regarding this things. And she's in love with Ned."
"I never said I wanted her to fall in love with me, I just want to have sex with her. Come on Marguerite! You used to be able to recognize one from the other."
"I am, she is not."
"Then she should learn." He started to make his way towards the door, now that he was fully dressed.
"Keith." She stopped him in his tracks "I'm asking." He remained in silence for ten seconds before going back to where she stood and kissing her fully in the lips.
"If it means so much to you." And with that he was gone. Marguerite hoped he would keep his word. One thing was she having to deal with her situation with Keith and Roxton, the other was for one of her friends to get trapped in her mess. She wasn't Veronica's biggest fan, but she knew the younger woman deserved better that a low-life womanizer like Keith Lawrence, as charming as he could be.
Roxton watched as the group left the house. He had never imagined he would end up alone in the treehouse with Marguerite. Part of him wanted to go running towards them, but he couldn't do that without getting quite embarrassed, plus Keith was there. Part of him wanted to just go walking through the jungle, but he couldn't leave her alone. Part of him wanted to go to her room and take her in his arms. That was the hardest part to suppress. He had no idea what to do next, so he just sat up in the balcony. Maybe this was destiny, he thought, maybe now Marguerite and him were meant to clear the air between them. Still, he had no idea how to start.
Marguerite was in her room. She knew Roxton was in the balcony, she could hear him pacing until it suddenly stopped. He had probably taken a sit. What now? They were going to be alone for a while, there was no way they could keep avoiding each other. And she didn't want to avoid him any longer. She missed him. So much... she had never missed someone so much in her life. It was getting harder and harder to pretend she could go on so easily without him. Maybe now it was the time to admit she had actually fallen in love with him, as scaring as that could be.
Since Keith had come back to her life, she kept having sort of flashbacks. She kept thinking of who she was and questioning if she had changed at all. She could see that she had changed in the only area she should have stayed the same: in her heart, and because of Roxton. She kept thinking of her relationship with Greg. He had been right, she had loved him. She could have been happy with him. Still, at that moment in her life, giving into that would have put him in a great deal of danger. Now she couldn't really appreciate how much of that had changed, lost of news in the damned plateau, even though Keith had said she would probably be clear from the nazis. Also, back then she couldn't bring herself to put her heart in the line, to make herself so vulnerable again. She had been a coward back then, and apparently, she was still acting like one.
But probably not even Roxton realized. She knew that she felt something very deep for the hunter, more than she had felt for anyone in her life ever before. She almost could believe all that crap about "the one" and "meant to be". All she knew was that she needed him. She could see a future with him, but she was not sure if she got one after all she had done.
They had been walking for a while now. The 'quest for the plant', as Keith kept referring to it much for Challenger's annoyance. Veronica had to laugh at that anyway. What was it with this guy? she kept thinking. She knew that she loved Ned, and he loved her back, but she felt nothing was coming out of it. She also knew that she didn't love Keith, they had barely talked at all. Still, she was very attracted to him. He was gorgeous, he was a mystery, he was enticing... she was sure all those were the things Roxton saw in Marguerite, and Veronica could see how that had turned out.
Still, it was fun to play so close to your forbidden fruit.
And he also seemed to be interested.
Still, he was Marguerite's husband. But she got a feeling Marguerite couldn't care less if he was loyal or not. Once or twice Keith had been flirting with her when his wife had entered the room. Veronica had gotten really nervous back then, but Keith had just laughed and Marguerite had rolled her eyes.
It shouldn't be a problem, though, because nothing was going to happen between Keith and her. She was just having fun with a new kind of man, a kind she had never ever known before.
And now he was looking at her, holding something in his hand, he was offering it to her. She took it and saw that it was a flower.
"Thank you." She whispered.
"My pleasure." Keith answered. Pity, he thought as he remembered his promise to Marguerite. Veronica did look the innocent part, but she was a remarkably beautiful woman. He kept wondering what it would be like to show her into the ways of grown-ups, but he was not going to act on it. Not today anyway.
She looked at him with dreamy eyes, Keith was sure she was not even noticing. That was what Marguerite had been trying to avoid: her falling for a man who would never love her. But she loved the reporter-boy. Keith wasn't even sure if he was flirting with her for the joy of having a beautiful woman desiring him, or for the pleasure of seeing Ned Malone's expression...
Marguerite was still laying on her bed. Why stand up? She was reading a book from the ones Veronica's mother had brought to the plateau. She wasn't really paying attention to it, she couldn't even remember the title.
She heard his pacing again... only it was closer this time...
Roxton wasn't sure what he was doing, but he knew what he wanted to do. Maybe, this was what he should have done in the first place. Claiming her, as stupid as that may sound. They had to talk, they had to clear things out between them, but before anything happened, she had to know the way he felt about her.
Maybe it was the memory of her haunting his dreams. Maybe knowing she was alone in her bedroom. Maybe seeing her with another man. Maybe the love he could no longer contain. Maybe avoiding her for so long, staying away from her life when all he wanted was to be a part of it. Probably it was just the scotch bottle he had emptied since the others had left. Still, for once he felt he had the courage he needed to face the fact he had fallen in love with Marguerite Krux.
He wasn't drunk anyway. He had quite a high tolerance for alcohol. Still, the scotch gave him the buzz he had needed to act on his true feelings.
He walked towards her room, his pace strong and determined, this was going to be over soon enough. He opened the door and saw her lying on her bed with a book. She sat up at once the moment he entered.
"Roxton, what is it?" She was surprised by the look in his eyes, she couldn't remember his eyes been like that ever before.
"Do you love him?" he knew he had asked that question before, and he remembered her answer, her honest answer. But honesty was not what he needed now, he needed her to tell him how she really felt... about him.
"No." She said it. She never thought it. She just said it, because she knew saying any other thing would sound to Roxton as if she loved Keith and not him. She could smell Roxton had been drinking, but something in his demeanor told her he was acting out of his heart.
"Then why are you with him?" he asked. He felt his blood rushing to his head as he spoke. The book had fallen from her hands and she was looking at him right into the eye.
"Why shouldn't I be?" She had played his game this far, now she was turning it to her advantage. As much as he needed her to say the words, so did she. She wanted him to give her a reason not to be with Keith or any other man for that matter.
"Because..." he felt his courage falling apart. But now he was in the middle of the moment that could define the rest of his life, and he was not going to allow the one thing he wanted to pass him by. "You could be with me." He had said it. He couldn't believe it. He guessed he was shaking and sweating, then again, so was she.
"Is that what you want?" she asked. She couldn't believe it! She couldn't believe he had actually said it. Whatever was going to happen from there, she knew things between them would never be the same, her life was going to change. She was happy for this change to imply a chance of a life with Roxton, for as long as she could make it last.
"You are what I want." Roxton walked slowly and knelt on the floor, so their faces were close enough to feel the others' breathing. He slowly took her slender hand in his and kissed it. She was smiling, he saw her. She was smiling and so was he. He leaned and kissed her fully on the lips, a kiss that intended to made up for two years of pretending they felt nothing for each other.
By Carla
DISCLAIMER
Challenger, Marguerite, Roxton, Malone and Veronica belong to Telescene, not to me. No infraction to their rights is meant, I'm just having a little fun. I own nothing but the story.
Chapter V
Marguerite couldn't believe that Roxton was still acting like that. It had been two weeks and he still avoided her whenever he could. There wasn't a day when she didn't think about their last real conversation, the way he had looked at her. He had been so sad, and so had she. Still, he was the one who walked away from her. She was Marguerite Krux and that was not going to change for any man, even if that man was Lord John Roxton. "Go back to your husband Marguerite.", that was the last thing he had said. She had tried to get him to talk to her, but it was useless. So, after a couple of days, she had done as she had been told: she had gone back to her husband.
She had already given away too much of her real feelings for Roxton, and obviously he was not willing to stand by her. He had just asked two questions, he obviously hadn't liked the answer and suddenly it was over, without an explanation or whatsoever. He had hurt her. He was the one she always figured would never do that, yet he did.
So, with a bruised ego and a broken heart, Keith didn't sound that bad. Although it was just for the fun with him, it was better than dreaming of a love which obviously wasn't hers for the taking.
Roxton watched as she entered the room with Keith. They had spent the night together. Again. So it was really over, he couldn't get himself to believe that, not when he missed her like the air to breath. Funny, he had never thought you could actually miss someone who lived in your same house. He kept telling himself it was for the best, but that was getting harder and harder to believe. Anyway, the bottom line was she didn't trust him.
He had told her to go back to her husband, but somehow he had never thought she would actually do it. That made it clear who she wanted to be with, at least for him. When he had walked away from her, part of himself had wanted Marguerite to stop him, to tell him all the things she had said that she couldn't tell anyone. But she hadn't. She had allowed him to walk away. And he had. Why? He didn't know. Because he had been scared, mad, disappointed, heartbroken, sad... in love. And he still was. And she was not with him.
He figured it would be better to see less of her, try to forget the closeness they once shared as friends. He stopped accompanying her to her daily baths as he had always done. Keith was too eager to fill his role. And she allowed it. And so did he. And they were both in pain, he could see it in her eyes. But, who would be strong enough to give the first step back and apologize? He wasn't sure that he was that brave anymore.
"Another plant?" Marguerite sounded profoundly annoyed after Challenger's long exposition of the curative characteristics of a new flower he had discovered. The lecture ended with a request to the younger members of the group to join him in his quest for more of this flowers.
"This isn't just any plant Marguerite! It could save your life!" Challenger acted deeply offended.
"Talk to me then." That said, she took her hat and covered her eyes with it. They were in the living room, she was sitting on the couch, resting her back on Keith's chest, who was sitting by her side. She was a little uneasy with Roxton standing directly in front of her and pretending she was air, but she was done with that. If he was mad with she and Keith, he ought to say something. She wanted him to say something. Anything. Veronica was in a chair nearby and Malone was standing by Roxton.
"I don't know darling" Keith started ", I could use the walk."
"Then suit yourself, but I'm staying."
"Come on Marguerite..."
"She's right Challenger." Everyone was startled by Roxton's voice. Probably because he had been like a ghost the last couple of weeks, mostly because he was actually acknowledging Marguerite's existence "We should be looking for a way out, not going out in excursions to see what else is new around here." Roxton was being truthful, since Marguerite was out of her reach now, he couldn't see a reason why to hang out in the plateau any longer.
"We should still make the best of our time here, don't you think so?" Challenger asked. But Roxton didn't even answer.
"I'll join you Professor." Malone offered "I'm always interested in new things."
"I'll go as well, you'll need someone to watch your backs." Veronica volunteered as well.
"Fine! Mr. Lawrence, are you coming too?" Challenger asked, if only to piss Roxton for the way he had been acting lately.
"Please Professor, it's Keith. Sure, I'll go." Keith smiled, playing with Marguerite's hair. That was as much as Roxton could take, so he locked himself in his room. Everyone soon drifted to make the arrangements for the trip, until Keith and Marguerite were alone.
She was slightly nervous about staying behind alone with Roxton. And after what she had said about the expedition, she could not take it back and volunteer to go without making it obvious she was pretty much hiding from John.
"Are you really going?" she asked.
"Yes. Don't worry you'll survive a couple of days without my charming self."
"More than a couple of days I'd say."
"Probably." Keith smiled before adding "Roxton won't bite you... unless you ask him to, that is."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You know what."
"Shut up."
"Relax, I really hope you guys work this out, it's getting increasingly harder to live in the same house with you both."
"Then move out."
"I keep forgetting how sweet you can be... Still, you do that and I'll use this chance to see if I can do some hunting... you know, lurk some blonde wild creature into my sleeping bag..." with that he stood up and went towards the room he shared with Marguerite. She repeated to herself his words and rushed after him.
"Keith!" she looked mad, he was changing his clothes for the trip ahead.
"What is it darling?" he asked innocently.
"Don't 'darling' me now, we've talked about this!"
"This what?"
"Come on Lawrence! Back away from Veronica!"
"I know this is not jealousy, so what is the problem? You know me, and you know I don't force anyone to sleep with me..."
"No, you'll just seduce her for the fun of it."
"That's right." He was now shirtless, their faces an inch away and his blue eyes shining "Not unlike you."
"I know that." Her eyes where sending fire when she talked "But I'm telling you, stay away from Veronica."
"Why? She's a grown woman, she's beautiful, sexy, and her boyfriend is such a loser. Face it gorgeous, she wants me badly. Don't you see the way she keeps staring at me?"
"She's a child regarding this things. And she's in love with Ned."
"I never said I wanted her to fall in love with me, I just want to have sex with her. Come on Marguerite! You used to be able to recognize one from the other."
"I am, she is not."
"Then she should learn." He started to make his way towards the door, now that he was fully dressed.
"Keith." She stopped him in his tracks "I'm asking." He remained in silence for ten seconds before going back to where she stood and kissing her fully in the lips.
"If it means so much to you." And with that he was gone. Marguerite hoped he would keep his word. One thing was she having to deal with her situation with Keith and Roxton, the other was for one of her friends to get trapped in her mess. She wasn't Veronica's biggest fan, but she knew the younger woman deserved better that a low-life womanizer like Keith Lawrence, as charming as he could be.
Roxton watched as the group left the house. He had never imagined he would end up alone in the treehouse with Marguerite. Part of him wanted to go running towards them, but he couldn't do that without getting quite embarrassed, plus Keith was there. Part of him wanted to just go walking through the jungle, but he couldn't leave her alone. Part of him wanted to go to her room and take her in his arms. That was the hardest part to suppress. He had no idea what to do next, so he just sat up in the balcony. Maybe this was destiny, he thought, maybe now Marguerite and him were meant to clear the air between them. Still, he had no idea how to start.
Marguerite was in her room. She knew Roxton was in the balcony, she could hear him pacing until it suddenly stopped. He had probably taken a sit. What now? They were going to be alone for a while, there was no way they could keep avoiding each other. And she didn't want to avoid him any longer. She missed him. So much... she had never missed someone so much in her life. It was getting harder and harder to pretend she could go on so easily without him. Maybe now it was the time to admit she had actually fallen in love with him, as scaring as that could be.
Since Keith had come back to her life, she kept having sort of flashbacks. She kept thinking of who she was and questioning if she had changed at all. She could see that she had changed in the only area she should have stayed the same: in her heart, and because of Roxton. She kept thinking of her relationship with Greg. He had been right, she had loved him. She could have been happy with him. Still, at that moment in her life, giving into that would have put him in a great deal of danger. Now she couldn't really appreciate how much of that had changed, lost of news in the damned plateau, even though Keith had said she would probably be clear from the nazis. Also, back then she couldn't bring herself to put her heart in the line, to make herself so vulnerable again. She had been a coward back then, and apparently, she was still acting like one.
But probably not even Roxton realized. She knew that she felt something very deep for the hunter, more than she had felt for anyone in her life ever before. She almost could believe all that crap about "the one" and "meant to be". All she knew was that she needed him. She could see a future with him, but she was not sure if she got one after all she had done.
They had been walking for a while now. The 'quest for the plant', as Keith kept referring to it much for Challenger's annoyance. Veronica had to laugh at that anyway. What was it with this guy? she kept thinking. She knew that she loved Ned, and he loved her back, but she felt nothing was coming out of it. She also knew that she didn't love Keith, they had barely talked at all. Still, she was very attracted to him. He was gorgeous, he was a mystery, he was enticing... she was sure all those were the things Roxton saw in Marguerite, and Veronica could see how that had turned out.
Still, it was fun to play so close to your forbidden fruit.
And he also seemed to be interested.
Still, he was Marguerite's husband. But she got a feeling Marguerite couldn't care less if he was loyal or not. Once or twice Keith had been flirting with her when his wife had entered the room. Veronica had gotten really nervous back then, but Keith had just laughed and Marguerite had rolled her eyes.
It shouldn't be a problem, though, because nothing was going to happen between Keith and her. She was just having fun with a new kind of man, a kind she had never ever known before.
And now he was looking at her, holding something in his hand, he was offering it to her. She took it and saw that it was a flower.
"Thank you." She whispered.
"My pleasure." Keith answered. Pity, he thought as he remembered his promise to Marguerite. Veronica did look the innocent part, but she was a remarkably beautiful woman. He kept wondering what it would be like to show her into the ways of grown-ups, but he was not going to act on it. Not today anyway.
She looked at him with dreamy eyes, Keith was sure she was not even noticing. That was what Marguerite had been trying to avoid: her falling for a man who would never love her. But she loved the reporter-boy. Keith wasn't even sure if he was flirting with her for the joy of having a beautiful woman desiring him, or for the pleasure of seeing Ned Malone's expression...
Marguerite was still laying on her bed. Why stand up? She was reading a book from the ones Veronica's mother had brought to the plateau. She wasn't really paying attention to it, she couldn't even remember the title.
She heard his pacing again... only it was closer this time...
Roxton wasn't sure what he was doing, but he knew what he wanted to do. Maybe, this was what he should have done in the first place. Claiming her, as stupid as that may sound. They had to talk, they had to clear things out between them, but before anything happened, she had to know the way he felt about her.
Maybe it was the memory of her haunting his dreams. Maybe knowing she was alone in her bedroom. Maybe seeing her with another man. Maybe the love he could no longer contain. Maybe avoiding her for so long, staying away from her life when all he wanted was to be a part of it. Probably it was just the scotch bottle he had emptied since the others had left. Still, for once he felt he had the courage he needed to face the fact he had fallen in love with Marguerite Krux.
He wasn't drunk anyway. He had quite a high tolerance for alcohol. Still, the scotch gave him the buzz he had needed to act on his true feelings.
He walked towards her room, his pace strong and determined, this was going to be over soon enough. He opened the door and saw her lying on her bed with a book. She sat up at once the moment he entered.
"Roxton, what is it?" She was surprised by the look in his eyes, she couldn't remember his eyes been like that ever before.
"Do you love him?" he knew he had asked that question before, and he remembered her answer, her honest answer. But honesty was not what he needed now, he needed her to tell him how she really felt... about him.
"No." She said it. She never thought it. She just said it, because she knew saying any other thing would sound to Roxton as if she loved Keith and not him. She could smell Roxton had been drinking, but something in his demeanor told her he was acting out of his heart.
"Then why are you with him?" he asked. He felt his blood rushing to his head as he spoke. The book had fallen from her hands and she was looking at him right into the eye.
"Why shouldn't I be?" She had played his game this far, now she was turning it to her advantage. As much as he needed her to say the words, so did she. She wanted him to give her a reason not to be with Keith or any other man for that matter.
"Because..." he felt his courage falling apart. But now he was in the middle of the moment that could define the rest of his life, and he was not going to allow the one thing he wanted to pass him by. "You could be with me." He had said it. He couldn't believe it. He guessed he was shaking and sweating, then again, so was she.
"Is that what you want?" she asked. She couldn't believe it! She couldn't believe he had actually said it. Whatever was going to happen from there, she knew things between them would never be the same, her life was going to change. She was happy for this change to imply a chance of a life with Roxton, for as long as she could make it last.
"You are what I want." Roxton walked slowly and knelt on the floor, so their faces were close enough to feel the others' breathing. He slowly took her slender hand in his and kissed it. She was smiling, he saw her. She was smiling and so was he. He leaned and kissed her fully on the lips, a kiss that intended to made up for two years of pretending they felt nothing for each other.