Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 7
The spaceship never actually touched down, hovering twenty feet above
the tree line. As soon as the vessel was stationary, five short
columns of sparkling blue and white light formed a haf dozen meters in
front of us. The columns of energy each deposited a human being.
Teleportation through technology, amazing. I was still working on my
own teleportation spell using what I had seen of Setsuna's as a guide.
It had a few bugs to work out.
What do you say to humans with a lot more technology than those from
your own planet? The three men and two women from the ship didn't
appear threatening and weren't armed with any kind of weapon that I
knew up. Those things at their waists did hold a lot of energy,
though. Here goes nothing."Hey, nice to meet ya," I said.
The man in the red jumpsuit stepped forward and cleared his
throat."I'm Commander Riker of the Enterprise. This star system is in
inmenent danger from a nearby black hole. Do you need assistance?"
Blackhole. That would not have been fun."We didn't come here by ship,
Commander Riker," I replied. Now to see if they believe in magic
here."My friends and I were transported from our home dimension by
mistake when a containment spell I was performing went arry.
To my suprise the Commander just nodded and tapped a small device
attached to his suit."Eleven to beam up, Ensign." Not bad, but the
senshi's are better."You do wish to return to the ship with us,
correct?"
Stupid question."Yeah." The girls behind me squeaked in fright when
the teleporter grabbed them. I thought it felt pretty good, sorta
like the bubbles in a hot tub. When the blue and white lights
dissipated, the senshi, the Commander, and I were standing on a raised
platform in a stereotypical futuristic space ship. All cool earthy
colors and smooth, flowing lines.
"Welcome to the Starship Enterprise, ladies. You are currently being
held within a containment field. As soon as you've been checked out
in the sick bay and given clearance, Captain Picard will see you." I
nodded and smirked at the senshi. They were a little overloaded at
the moment. Too much input all at once.
A man in a yellow suit did something to the console in front of him
and the teleporter dumped us in the sick bay. I could still feel the
energy field around us and could have easily nullified it, but that
would probably leave a bad impreesion with our hosts.
An attractive middle aged woman in a blue lab coat approached the
field."Hello, I'm Dr. Crusher. If you all would just lay down on
those examination tables, we'll be finished in a few minutes." I
complied and the senshi followed my example. Whatever the doctor did,
it didn't even take the predicted few minutes.
"All right," the doctor said, typing in a command on a touch sensitive
flat panel. With the command the energy field surrounding us
disappeared."You're all in perfect physical health. The Captain
wishes to meet with you in his ready room and since I don't have
anything better to do, I'll show you the way."
"Is this ship from Earth?" I asked after following the woman through a
couple of corridors. I'd already seen a blue guy and a green woman.
They weren't demonic in origin, so I guessed they were aliens.
"Yes," answered Dr. Crusher."Well it was built in one of the ship
yards orbiting Earth. May I ask why you wish to know?"
"It's just unusual. The Earth we come from is way too primitive to
possibly build something like this." Useful exchange of information.
"I was under the impression that you and your friends were involved in
a reactor containment failure that somehow transported you to Berov
IV." The doctor gave us all a confused glance.
"Heh heh. The Commander must have misunderstood." I don't really know
what a reactor containment failure even is."I was working a
containment spell, as in magic, to release the spirit of an ancient
warlock without blowing up the countryside that held his tomb.
Something went wrong and poof, here we are."
I got another confused and slightly skeptical glance. Squeezed into a
tiny elevator, Ami finally spoke up."What does the ship use for
propulsion? I didn't notice any exterior thrust apparatus."
The doctor laughed and said,"Engineering isn't exactly my area of
expertise. As I understand it, though, the Enterprise uses a
matter/anti-matter reactor to provide propulsion through particle
drive or warp space manipulation."
For someone who doesn't know what she's talking about, Dr. Crusher
sounded considerably knowledgable on the subject. Ami's eyes were
shining with interest. Oh boy.
The elevator stopped and we stepped into what I assume was the bridge.
There sure were a lot of controls and people and a really big tv
screen."This way."
****
The Captain was an older man who was as bald as a cue ball. I
repeated my story, this time in more detail, while the senshi gawked
at a particularly ugly alien named Warf and a guy named Data who I'm
absolutely sure wasn't alive.
"And your certain that you didn't somehow travel into the future with
your...magic?" asked the Captain cautiously.
"Positive. For one thing, our future has her," I pointed to Usagi who
smiled and waved to the Captain,"as Queen of Earth. I'm told that
she'll grow into the role and I can tell that that hasn't happened or
someone here would have recognized her. Mostly though, I just know
that this isn't my universe of origin. The energy is off a little.
Ami says that its a quantum variance or something like that."
"If I may," the woman named Diana interrupted,"Ranma is being truthful
in this matter, or she has been so heavily programmed that she
completely believes what she's saying." Sure hope she isn't psychic.
All kinds of bad stuff could see the light of day.
"Yep, that's me, Ms. Honesty. Really, though. I appreciate you and
your ship saving us from the black hole, and don't want to be
ungrateful, but the sooner we get home the better. All I need is a
mirror, some candles, and a few crystals, quartz if you have them."
"How would those items...Oh yes, magic. I'm sure they can be found.
In the meantime, could you demonstrate to us your magic. We've
encountered a number of powerful entities over the years who possessed
powers that could have been ermed as magic."
****
Talk about hard to please, I had to eventually start blowing stuff up
and flying around on the holodeck to convince the Captain that I
wasn't just some kind of hoax. That holodeck place really kicked ass.
I had Ami download the plans for one from the ship's computer once we
were assigned quarters, not that I expected her to be able to build
one with the junk back on our Earth. This is one hell of a space
ship. It's big and luxourious and I wouldn't mind staying on a few
years, but duty calls. Sigh.
Of all the advanced technology on this ship, I have to say that the
food replicator is the best. Anything you want to eat with no more
hassle than it takes to say a couple of words. Usagi did short her
out for a couple hours with the ice cream addiction, but the guy with
the freaky sunglasses fixed it up.
Speaking of Usagi, the girl was getting treated way better than she
deserved. I shouldn't have mentioned that she was royalty.
We were invited by the Captain to see the destruction of the star
system we had just left. The observation deck was full of ship staff
and off duty workers who turned out for the spectacle. I didn't
really care much for seeing what could have easily been my fate. I
went along because the experience could be valuable. Ami had
mentioned that black holes severely distorted time, and anything I
could get together to fight off Setsuna, if the need arose, was worth
looking into.
Ami squeezed her way through the crowd and managed to lean against me.
She's a nice girl, and I like her as a friend, but I don't really want
to get into a serious relationship with her. Casual sex and
friendship is good, commitmitment is bad. I just hope she feels the
same. For now, though, I didn't mind the few odd looks from the other
senshi or the crew of the Enterprise. I was mostly accustommed to
being female and I wasn't really a lesbian, so...Why not enjoy it?
She hugged me."Thank you so much for bringing us here, Ranma." For the
last few days, when we hadn't been making woopy in my quarters, the
girl had been sponging up knowledge from the computer at such a rate
that Data, the Android(real fancy robot) that I thought was a dead guy
at first, commented that among humans, he had never seen as fast a
learner."When we get home I am going to be able to change the world."
Our little side trip to this alternate dimension could be the cause
for the rise of Crystal Tokyo. With everything Ami has learned, she's
assured me that she can end world hunger, stop pollution, fix the
weather, and recolonize the solar system. The little minx is plenty
grateful to me."No problem, not that I did it on purpose or anything."
She shrugged against me."It's the results that matter, not how they're
arrived at." I hope Setsuna sees it that way or I may be making a
return trip to the Enterprise.
****
"You're pretty tough," I admitted to Data. We were sparring in one of
the holoecks. I was kicking his robotic ass. I hadn't had a purely
physical fight like this in years, though, so I was enjoying myself
immensely.
"Thank you." He leapt for me, using sheer mass to knock me off my
feet. Whatever this guy is made of, it's a lot heavier than anything
I've ever dealt with.
Once I had solid ground under me, I flexed my muscles and threw the
android into the wall. I'll say one good thing for Happosai, he
trained me well. I almost wish he hadn't tried to take over my
younger body. Oh well, the past is the past.
"If I may ask," Data began, picking himself up and dusting his uniform
off,"how is it that a human of your size is capable of withstanding
the stress of direct combat with me? The only other lifeform of
similar size to you that I have encountered were the Borg and they
were highly augmented with cybernetics."
"It's all in the training," I answered."There's a certain peak that a
person reaches where their body simply can not improve upon itself any
longer, with the proper training, a that person can use their internal
energies to strengthen their body. I've done it for so many years
that I don't even have to use my chi to get it to work."
Data nodded."Chi being the spirit force of a living individual."
Data had duty in a few minutes and I had volunteered for some tests
that the doctor wanted to run on my brain. They still didn't really
believe that magic was real, as if the senshi's transforming without
any visible energy source wasn't proof enough.
****
Within a week of searching, I had narrowed our home dimension down to
three possibilities. These last three were so similar to each other
in the most significant ways that I was having problems getting past
this last hurdle.
The door to my quarters slid open without prompting and Ami threw
herself off of me, forming a caccoon within the blacket and hiding
inside. Captain Picard stepped into the room and sat in a chair near
the door.
I tried not to glare too hard at the man. He'd done a lot to help the
senshi and me, the least of which was solving a our lives. I'd been
'this' close, though.
"I've just recieved orders from Starfleet Command. The Enterprise is
to head to the nearest starbase immediately, with our newest guests
under close guard, where you will be turned over to Starfleet
Intelligence for debriefing. I won't assume to say that the
experience would be pleasant. For now, I will be following these
orders to the letter. I suggest you and your friends jump to another
dimension as soon as possible. The replicators can provide you with
whatever you need." And he stood just as quickly as he had sat and
left the room.
Well, damn."You'd better download as much info as you can, Ami, while
I gather up the others." She had already summoned her computer and was
interfacing with the ship's systems.
I dressed quickly and went to wake my students. None of them were
happy, but they forgot their desire to pound me when I passed the news
on.
Usagi stared longingly at the replicator, tears gathering in her eyes.
I didn't even want to know how much ice cream she had forced the poor
machine to make her.
"I thought you still weren't sure where home was," Rei said.
"I'm not. There's only three choices. Thirty three percent chance of
getting it on the first try. If it's not the right one, the odds keep
going up until we hit the jackpot." Heh.
Ami was dressed and had backpacks for each of us. The Captain 'had'
said we could use the replicators."Everyone grab one," she ordered.
****
I had been performing the location spell in an empty cargo bay. My
quarters would do this time. The circular mirror surrounded by
replicated(those machines are damned convenient) crystals stopped
reflecting light as soon as my energy, augmented by my Crystal, began
to pour through it. Each of the senshi held a colored candle
represenative of her color. They lit them with a spark of magic, as
directed by me, and the light generated by the flames was redirected
staight into the crystals. A five point star formed above the mirror,
it's corner the now glowing crystals.
I didn't really need the senshi to do what I had them doing. They
felt useful and it eased the strain on me slightly. Win/win
situation.
"Jump into the mirror," I told them. One by one, starting with Rei
and ending with me, we jumped through the mirror and appeared in a
lightly wooded area on the edge of a larger forest.
Damn, this wasn't the one. Ami and Rei looked at me. They, too,
knew. I told the others and endured their disappointment.
"All we have to do is find another mirror and some more crystals and
I'll try again. Chances are fifty fifty that it'll work next time."
****
There was definitely people on this planet, enough of them that I
could eacily detect several of the larger populations. We were in the
boonies and flying to save time. Minako suddenly dropped from my
periphrial vision. I stopped sharply and glided down towards where
she would have gone down if her spell had lost power. I found the
girl sitting on the ground with an unusual looking little dog
creature. It was barking happily and licking the girl's face like
candy.
"Damn," Makoto hissed. First time I'd ever heard her use that
particular word."It's a pokemon, a real live pokemon! Hey Minako,
it's a Growlithe." She set down beside the blonde and between them
they lavished an almost indecent amount of attention on the...pokemon.
"Oh my gosh!" Usagi exclaimed."Shingo has a stuffed pokemon just like
that one!" And she joined the first two. That thing was seriously
eating up the attention.
When I thought about it, I knew that it was theoretically possible for
something like an anime to truly exist in another universe, but what
were the odds of stumbling across such an occurrence? I asked Ami and
she just shrugged.
"Are they dangerous?" I asked. I'd seen the commercials for the show
a couple of times and some of those little creatures had real power.
Neither Rei nor Ami, the only senshi not trying to mother the
Growlithe to death, knew any more than I did about pokemon.
"I wish I had a pokeball," Makoto said. I think it's some kind of dog
treat.
"You don't need one," Minako told her."This one has imprinted on you
like normal puppies. He must have just hatched." That thing didn't
look much like a bird, but who was I to say where little pokemon came
from.
"I wish I had one." That innocent statement by Usagi totally halted
any further progress for the day. Usagi and the other senshi, I just
enjoyed myself watching Makoto try to teach hers to talk, searched the
forest for more pokemon. The future Queen was attacked by giant
birds, giant insects, and a walking tree. Despite these difficulties,
she returned with a stupid looking lamb thing. Ami came back next.
She had a giant butterfly resting on her right shoulder and a big egg
covered with held under her left arm. She gave me the egg.
"Thanks," I told her with real gratitude. I have absolutely no idea
what to do with a pokemon. I don't get gifts often enough to accept
them casually."What do you think it'll be?"
"Minako says that there's no way to tell just by looking at the egg.
I tried to scan it, it's so thick, though, that I couldn't get a
reading." She was leaning against me with her butterfly sleeping in
her lap when Minako finally came back. The girl led behind her a
small parade of pokemon. Two different birds, one like Makoto's, one
of Usagi's lambs and two giant caterpillars.
"Yes, yes, I know I'm good," she said and settled down on a cushion of
air of her own creation, with her cadre gathered around her. I don't
mind taking along a pet when we jumped again, there was no way we were
going to have this zoo with us.
I was the only person awake at the makeshift campsite, pokemon
included, when Rei stomped into the clearing. She didn't have a
pokemon and didn't look too happy about it. The light given off by
the last embers of our dying fire was enough for her to see the horde
of pokemon collected by her friends. Then she saw me grinning at her.
The girl turned around and stomped back into forest.
She didn't return again until midmorning and the squirming rat she
held to tightly couldn't possibly have been a pokemon. Turns out that
it actually is a pokemon. Is every animal on this planet a pokemon?
That must really suck for people when wild animals with the power that
Makoto said some of them had went on the rampage.
****
Author's Notes: A few chapters in PokemonLand might be fun. What
should the next world be? I can't decide. I really need that lemon
scene from last chapter. If you send me one and I use it you will get
full credit. C&C welcome at dark_phoneix@hotmail.com