Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 9

"Now that Usagi is famous, I think it'd be best if we left. Demon
will have the whole region depopulated before long, too." I hadn't
mentioned any of the conversation I'd overheard about Ami's condition.
What was there to say? I'd gotten Ami pregnant. She knew about it,
if she'd told her friends, and didn't seem to be acting any different.
Mature and intelligent as my lover was, she was still a sixteen year
old girl. In her situation, I would be flipping out. Whatever we
decided to do with the kid, it wouldn't be on this planet, a place
where animal eggs were given more attention than babies.

Demon gurgled happily, swinging a lamppost around trying to hit Rei's
rat. The pokemon's massive frame must top at least twenty feet now.
The wings, when unfolded, cast shadows over huge areas of ground, not
unlike a large cloud. He, and I had finally learned Demon was a he,
had figured out how to retract his two foot long claws. I hope his
growth slows down some, or he'll eat me out of house and home. My
other pokemon were virtually forgotten with Demon's birth. I'm
probably just going to give them away before we leave, or let Ami have
them.

"But, Ranma, I have a worldwide tour to go on!" Usagi protested.
Taking care of pokemon and living on her own had helped the girl to
grow up quite a bit, but not enough.

"If you were to disappear right after winning the championship, then
reappear next year to compete in the next one, don't you think it
would make people think you were all mysterious and stuff?" Makoto
asked. That was a pretty good idea, especially because by next year
the girls would be strong enough to bring Usagi to PokeWorld without
my help. I certainly have no intention of returning.

"Well, that does sound neat...but the Pokemon League is going to make
a doll to look like me. Can we at least stay until they get it right?
Please?" A few more days wouldn't hurt, unless Demon decided to raid
the pokemon center. A little time to think about how to talk to Ami
about the pregnancy would be good too.

"Only a few more days," I answered. There was a loud crash, followed
by a metallic screeching behind me. I whirled around, expecting to
come under attack, I'd been getting complacent, only to see Demon
using his lamp post to smash a large hole in the street."Bad Demon,
bad!" I shouted. I floated over to him, rising slowly until I could
look him straight in his basketball sized black eyes. I glared at him
and asked,"What have I told you about smashing stuff? Bad Demon." I
pointed at the pokemon and said,"No supper for you tonight." Do not
say a word. Demon's lower lip began to tremble, for all of it's meter
long length, and great big fist sized tears gathered in his eyes. He
snuffled and let out a high keening sound, revealing his foot long
fangs. I couldn't stand to see the big guy cry like that so I said
gently,"All right Demon, you can have supper tonight, but this is your
last warning. No more smashing other people's stuff!" Demon's tears
disappeared like they'd never even existed and his big black lips
split into a razor sharp grin of contentment.

As I descended to the ground and walked towards the senshi, Demon
spread his wings and took flight, nearly blowing me over with the gail
force wind kicked up by the takeoff. The senshi were all grinning at
me when I returned. Crap.

"Mama Ranma, you're so mean," teased Minako, who broke into giggles as
I momentarily choked on my tongue.

"You shouldn't have gone so easy on him, Ranma," Rei chided,
absentmindedly scratching her giant rat behind the ear.

I waved it off and said,"He's already bigger than almost every other
kind of pokemon on this whole world and not showing any sign that his
growth will slow down or stop. I don't want to have a hundred foot
pokemon decide that it doesn't love me anymore and try to make a meal
out of me." I could take him down if Demon ever turned on me, but I
doubt he'll ever do anything like that."And he was crying," I added.
The thing may look as evil as any true demon, but Demon had the heart
of a puppy.

I caught sight of Ami giving me a considering look, very much unlike
the mock looks of suprise and shock from the other senshi. Yes, us
two were definitely going to have a talk. Soon. As soon as I could
figure out what to say, anyway.

****

"Ranma is an evil sorceror?" Nabiki asked in confirmation to Ryoga's
earlier comment. Genma had escaped from Akane as soon as she had
stopped hitting him with her mallet. Ryoga just sat in a chair,
looking none the worse for wear even though Akane had tried to beat
him into a pulp.

Ryoga nodded eargerly. They surrounded him. All three girls kept
looking at him. Ryoga could barely breathe."He cursed me to turn into
a pig whenever I get spalshed with cold water," Ryoga growled
weakly."That was the last time I fought him. The time before that he
made a demon appear." Ryoga shuddered."It tried to eat me." He raised
his tunic up above his chest. There were a trio of thick scars
running from just below his collar to the waist of his left side.

Nabiki didn't believe a word of it. Ryoga himself seemed convinced
that he spoke the truth, though."Are you sure you weren't attacked by
a bear?" she asked as she walked to the sink and filled a glass with
water.

"Bears don't breathe fire and fly," Ryoga answered."Hey, you don't
believe me!" he realized.

Nabiki was back with the water. She didn't wait for permission,
immediately upending the contents on Ryoga's head. The boy
disappeared, leaving only a pile of clothes with a little moving lump
at the bottom. A minute later, a small pot bellied pig wormed it way
from under the clothing.

"Well I'll be..." Nabiki sighed in suprise.

"Oh my, aren't you cute!" Kasumi swept the pig into her arms and began
rocking it like a baby.

Akane started screaming.

****

With time to prepare, I arranged for the portal from PokeWorld to be
vertical instead of horizontal. Falling face first in the dirt isn't
my idea of fun. I had Demon and Slammer with my still unused Gyrados
stored in pokeballs along with some supplies recommended by one of the
Joy's that would help to care for the creatures. The other senshi
made their own arrangements. Usagi, unwilling to give up any of her
army, and I do mean that quite literally, had two duffel bags full of
pokeballs. She's spent the entire night carefully labelling each ball
and looked less than happy to be awake.

"No one's forgetting anything?" I asked. That would be great, having
to jump back to retrieve a shoe or something, not that I would do it.

True to character, Usagi ran upstairs and came back down with another
pokeball."Wouldn't want to forget Psyduck," she explained.

The mirror portal was open five minutes later and we stepped through
into another dimension. This wasn't our home, either. That meant the
last choice was the money shot. At least we didn't appear out of
midair in the middle of traffic or anything.

****

I didn't notice anything unusual at first, busy as I was trying to
feed Demon. It was when I reflexively attempted to draw energy to
replenish that spent on flying. I got nothing. I could feel the
power, I could even see it if I tried, but it would not obey my will.
This is worse than it sounds.

"Girls," I roared, risking the use of some of my remaining power to
make my voice audible to the spread out senshi,"don't use any magic!"
Demon's huge expressive face began to look anxious so I returned him
to his pokeball. Before going in search of the girls, I drew my
Crystal from within my arm and pocketed it. I don't even want to
imagine how painful having it within my arm would be when my power
finally bled away.

I found Rei and Usagi, silently gathering them to me. The other three
found us while we were looking for them. They all looked confused and
a little afraid."I don't know what kind of shitball this world is, but
it's got some seriously screwed up energy problems. Save all your
energy for as long as possible, because you won't be able to get any
more for a while." If only the Silver Imperium Crystal still worked
with Usagi's magic, she could have kept us charged. As things now
stood, even with the power of my Crystal backing me, I didn't have
enough energy to key Usagi's crystal to my aura.

Usagi nodded."I thought something felt odd." Her brow furrowed in
concentration."I can't draw any energy at all."

I had the others try and they all came up with similar results. We
still had the pokemon if the natives got hostile, if there were
natives. We, however, didn't have a way home. I wasn't going to
mention that fact until later. Usagi obviously had the same thought I
had. She started crying. Then I had to tell everyone why she was
crying. My life blows ass.

****

No nice comfortable magical dome or cushion of air for us. Nope, just
hard ground and hungry mosquitos. I used my chi to start a fire for
warmth. Yeah, I still have that, for as much good as it does us. Ami
beckoned to me. Eager to get away from the gloomey girls, I followed
her until we were far enough away that even the occassional night
breeze wouldn't blow any part of our conversation across the meadow we
were camped out in back to the girls.

"Ranma, if magic doesn't work here, why is your ring still working?"
Ami asked. I hadn't even thought of that!

I kicked in the mystical senses and scanned the little band of white
metal around my finger. Damn. The minor enchantment that I still
hadn't figured out, was nearly gone. If I had thought about it soon
enough and deactivated the enchantment, there might have been enough
power left in it for me to open a portal home big enough for me to
squeeze through. I could have easily retrieved the girls then. Now,
well now it was practically useless and I would be back to being a guy
full time in a couple hours. Good thing the senshi couldn't attack
me. Ah, all those damned pokemon. My life blows ass.

"It's almost dead," I replied."This ought to be interesting." I still
had Demon in my pocket. If necessary, I could have him hold the girls
off long enough to explain the whole fucked up situation.

I must have sounded pretty pitiful. Ami reached out and patted my
hand reassuringly."Let's go back and I'll explain everything to them.
They'll understand, I'm sure."

****

Ami and me walking back into camp holding hands(Ami's idea, I assure
you) got the others' attention faster than if I had grown an extra
head right there on the spot. That's not saying much with them in
their present mood.

"This is very important, so pay attention," Ami said, looking
pointedly at Usagi. The blonde girl stopped polishing the pokeball in
her hand."Good. Everyone remember that man we fought the night before
Setsuna arranged for Ranma to teach us magic?" They nodded. And Ami
began to explain, all the while sitting a little ahead of me on the
ground, protectively, I think. She finished a lot faster than I would
have, but by using just the right words to get the point across.

I did my part then. Instead of changing the ring black, which would
have used the remaining charge, I slid it off my finger. Their were a
couple of gasps as I changed back into a guy. No pokemon battle
orders, though. That was good."Hey," I said."It's still me, you know.
Like Ami said, Luna just goofed up. It's not really her fault, her
brain is a lot smaller than a person's afterall." I probably shouldn't
have insulted Usagi's pet/advisor. Then again, why not? The cat
'had' been at fault.

I was stared at for a few minutes, until Rei, of all people, said,"I
always did think you were strange, even for a girl who had demons for
friends. It makes sense now that I know you're a boy. No sefl
respecting woman would scratch herself like you do."

Wow, I'd expected her to sic her rat on me at any time, not
acknowledge me as something other than evil incarnate.

Usagi's eyes narrowed and she glanced from me to Ami and back
again."So..you two..." She made a lewd gesture."Ah," and an airheaded
smile of such magnitude to almost need sunblock in its prescense
appeared."Ranma is the father!"

I felt like slapping myself. No, they weren't going to try to kill
me, they were going to embarass me to death.

Ami looked at Usagi in utter confusion, then at me."Uh, Usagi, what on
Earth are you talking about?" she eventually asked.

"But...I overheard you and Professor Oak talking about the baby and
you said that you didn't know who thae father was...and...oops, I
think I made a booboo." The meatball head hung her head in abject
embarassment, her face crimson.

No one could even begin to appreciate the relief I was feeling at that
moment. Ami actually laughed, a little forced, but a laugh
nonetheless."The Professor and I were trying to figure out what
combination of known or possibly undiscovered pokemon mated to spawn
Demon."

****

With the flippers gone, Setsuna could finally walk properly again.
Using the Time Gate no longer caused her agony since she didn't have
hundreds of different energy patterns rampaging through her body.
Ranma would pay. The rules banned her from contacting her future self
for direct aid or information, but they didn't say anything about not
travelling to the future herself.

First, before making the trip, she stopped by the drugstore and bought
a tube of hemarhoid cream. The silver mists of the Gate parted before
her and she used its magic to zoom in on Usagi's classroom. No Usagi.
She checked all the others' classes too. Nothing. Something 'could'
have interfered with the senshi and kept the busy, or Ranma could just
as easily murdered them all and voided the pact. Well, Ranma would
suffer for eternity at her hands if that were true. Homes and
hangouts came next. Finally, desperately, Setsuna opened herself
fully to the Gate's temporal magic and allowed her mind to be buffered
by the Winds of Time while she searched for the senshi. Impossibly,
that search turned up nothing also. If the senshi had died, they
would have left remains, even if only a few scattered particles, but
there was NOTHING. They had no future, not even one as worm food. If
Setsuna had not had clear access to the past of each of the senshi,
she could not have even been sure they had ever existed.

What had Ranma done to them?

****

I've always been a sorcerer first and a martial artsit second, but I'd
still hazard to guess that not ten people on Earth could challenge me
in straight physical combat. Chi is a major factor for the truly
elite martial artists, and would have been for me if I had so much
access to magic.

Early the morning after the revelation of my true identity, I awoke
and began reaquanting myself with my chi. It was still there, like
always, just not overly flexible due to inactivity. The simpler
exercises taught to be by Happosai were a good way to get the energy
pumping. I moved through those and to amazon attack augmentation,
finally, when the girls were greeting the morning, my father's
forbidden techniques. I'll say this for the old bastard, he wasn't a
complete imbecile in his younger days. I'm glad mom gave me a copy of
the scrolls that contained the techniques before the cancer got her.
Bad memories.

"You said not to use our magic," Makoto accused a little suspiciously.
The senshi were handling my true form much better than expected. If I
had known they'd take it so well, I could have been a man a hell of a
lot more than I had the past four months."Shouldn't you follow you're
own rule?"

I didn't turn around to face her immediately, towelling myself off and
putting my shirt on first."That wasn't magic," I answered with a
smirk."I was using my chi. It's not as powerful or as versatile as my
magic, it does replenishes itself, though."

"Like in the animes?" she asked.

I nodded."Mostly. I can't pull off anything like on Dragonball Z.
I'm closer to Fist of the North Star levels in that respect, I'd say.
I don't know how long we'll be stuck here without magic. If you want,
I'll start training you to manipulate your chi. The process takes
years, but it it's worth the effort."

"I'll try," Ami commented as she sat up and brushed the fur from
Makoto's big dog off of her clothes. That little puppy had gotten
something like ten times bigger when it evolved.

The martial arts lessons I'd been giving the senshi back on Earth had
been meant to eventually lead up to some rudimentary chi training in
order to give them the slightly expanded senses that make gathering
energy for magic easier. Now, when they couldn't use their magic and
pokemon can't always be relied upon, they'd be getting more than the
basics.

"Tonight, after we stop and make camp, we can begin the breathing
exercises. Today we should just try to ascertain where we are. And I
need to feed Demon." Not to mention get us some food. The few
supplies we had brought wouldn't last long.

Demon was eager to fill his truck sized stomach and decided that my
walking speed was too slow. I fit in his hand comfortably enough. He
was about to carry us into the forest when I stopped him. If he went
crashing through, knocking down trees, there wouldn't be so much as a
squirrel to be found.

I pointed up and said,"From the air, Demon, from the air." He nodded
his understanding and with a great woosh of displaced air, we were
aloft. The trees here were not closely spaced and the canopy was
easily seen through. Gliding silently, Demon riding invisible thermal
updrafts, I spotted a dear. Before I could signal Demon to pounce, my
pokemon opened its maw and a thin jet of flame flew from between it's
swordlike teeth and burned the dear's head cleanly off. The carcass
had barely fallen to the ground when we landed. Demon sounded like a
tree limb hitting the ground, not the ten ton monster he really was.

I'd been wondering when Demon would begin to manifest the fire and
dark(whatever that meant) attack powers that Professor Oak's computer
had predicted. I think that had been the flamethrower.

"You can go ahead and have this one, Demon. We can get one for us
little humans later," I laughed. Demon was eyeing the surrounding
trees hungrily, but he needed to eat meat to, not just wood fiber.

Demon shook his head and nudged the dear carcass with his left
arm."Raaaaaannnn Maaaaaaagh." My mouth snapped shut audibly and I
stared at Demon in shock. He grinned at me and tore a tree out of the
ground. He had talked! Demon had talked to me! He'd said my name!

Demon had eaten half the tree and all of its leaves when I finally
regained enough sense to dress the dear. It was a big beast and would
feed us for days. Demon could have swallowed it in one gulp.

****

"Go on, Demon," I called to my pokemon. None of the girls believed me
when I told them that Demon had said my name. I was about to prove
them wrong."What's my name?" I asked, pointing to myself.

"Raaaaaannnn Maaaaaagh," Demon spoke, his voice a whisper compared to
his normal full throated, earth shaking roar."Raaaaaannnn Maaaaaagh,"
he repeated. I patted his flank affectionately. Hey, I never had a
puppy when I was a kid, I'm just making up for lost time.

"Hahahahaha! Told ya!" Demon's much deeper, rock grating laugh echoed
mine.

"How come my pokemon never talk to me?" Usagi asked."It's not fair!"
And she started to cry.

Minako tried to comfort Usagi by saying,"I did hear about this talking
Meowth when I was working at the pokemon center. You have one of
those, don't you? You could teach it to talk."

Usagi wailed,"I traded my Meowth for a Bellsprout! Wah!"

I let Demon fly around a while so his trees could properly digest,
then put him in his pokeball. Once Usagi was reasonably calm, we
broke camp and went off in search of civilization and a means of
returning home.

****

Author's Notes: I've had Ranma's personality changing slowly
throughout the story, but I think it'll being pretty static from now
on. I can't figure out what the world they are on should be and I
need some help coming up with a reason why magic doesn't work. C&C
welcome at dark_phoneix@hotmail.com