Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 11
The large wooden double doors at the top of the wide steps swung open
before we were halfway to the top. Soldiers in black and green
uniforms armed with either shields and some kind of sidearm, a sword,
axe, or mace, and others with crossbows poured out onto the steps
ahead of us in double ranks. They formed a wall of men to block us,
with shields held in interlocking positions on one level of steps and
the crossbowmen a couple above it. Without our pokemon clearly
visbile, it seemed that there was a little bit of courage floating
around this place afterall.
The girls were behind me encase of a projectile attack, but as close
together as the soldiers were, even if the steps were relatively wide,
I planned on just hitting them with a extra large vaccum blade. The
steps would be slippery with all the blood and other bodily fluids,
none of it would be ours though.
"Halt!" was the simple command barked by a guy wearing the same
uniform as his underlings, with the exception of a silver star over
his heart. He stood in the doorway, well above what would soon be a
massacre if his men attacked.
They obviously spoke Japanese, even though they looked European in
origin. That's been another little mystery of this whole dimension
hopping trip. This would be the second world, excluding the one with
the space ship because they used some kind of implant to translate,
that spoke Japanese. I would have previously said that the senshi and
I would have been lucky just to run across a world that spoke a
language as common to us as Swahili. Sigh. No point in complaining
about fortuitous coincidences, I guess.
"Nah, I don't think so," I said in a voice as close to that of the
man's as possible."We'll be needing to see whoever's in charge. Now."
That came across with a kind of implied threat that had gotten me
through the gates of Hell once.
Heh. He wasn't used to being disobeyed, that's for sure. Minako and
Makoto snickering behind me probably contributed to the man's face
becoming a mottled portrait of red and purple splotches. Talk about
high blood pressure. Ami soon joined in. I think that Usagi was just
too worried about whether or not the man's head was going to explode
to make fun of him.
"Ah, damnit," I sighed. I wasn't in the mood for really getting
violent and I could feel Ami's accusatory stare pressing against the
back of my head."Go Slammer!" I cried, turning lose the large Golem.
The steps shuddered under the fantastic weight of the compact, yet
massive pokemon. Oh yeah, lots of running, screaming men. Pokedot
face managed to stand his ground, though the large stain spreading
across the front of his green pants sorta gave away his fear.
Pokemon, or something very much like pokemon, had really put the fear
into these people. I was almost starting to feel sorry for them.
Still, it was funny.
"Begone foul demon, I abjour thee!" Pisspants screamed, his voice
trembling pathetically. He'd drawn his short sword, not that it would
do much more than break against Slammer's shell/hide/armor, whatever
the stuff was.
"Bwahahahahaha!" I roared, laughing almost uncontrollably. Slammer
pounded on the ground and spit a couple rocks at Pisspants' feet.
That broke the man. He ran screaming back into the building, not
bothering to close the doors behind him. Slammer reluctantly returned
to his pokeball. He was having fun. I really should let him have
more time out.
"That wasn't very nice, Ranma," chided Usagi."He didn't look very
healthy. What if you made him have a heart attack? If I was a
doctor, I could tell you for sure, but I'm almost certain that his
head was about to explode." Damn, I'm good! The other senshi had to
turn away and start coughing to cover up their laughter.
"He was going make a fuss and I would have had to kill some people. I
think Slammer and I did a pretty good job." Usagi had the grace to
blush slightly."Well," I gestured to the open door,"shall we enter?"
****
The inside of the building was nice, in a stuffy, old way. Tapestries
hung from the high ceilings, depicting the floating city hovering over
various location, only one of them water. Most, though, showed men
fighting hordes of ravening demons. I recognized most of the breeds,
all of them in the lower echelons of the demonic heirarchy. None were
particularly powerful, maybe a few times stronger than a normal man
and occassionally armed with a few killing spells, but when looked at
from the perspective of normal men with no magic to speak of, an army
of them type can be intimidating.
The bottom floor was nothing but a single cavern like room, supported
by marble columns. A spiral staircase rose to the next floor and
above, wrapping around one of the marble colums.
"My pokemon do not look like any of those beasts!" Usagi loudly
proclaimed. She was right, they really didn't. She stroked her
pokeball belt. For a few delicate moments, I feared that she would
unleash the beasts in the room. It's not a good idea to smash the
support columns for a large, seven story stone structure.
"I know a guy who runs a hot dog shop in New York," I said, stabbing a
finger at a short little demon with purple skin covered with pink
patches of hair who weilded a war hammer nearly as big as he was,"who
is really one of those. Makes great hot dogs. Heh, and you can be
sure that they don't really have dog in them. His species go into
convulsions when anything canine gets near them." Useless piece of
information, I know, but I felt like saying it.
"Hmm, he's sort of cute," Rei commented. That goes to show just how
bad her tastes are. I mean, look at the ugly monster rat of hers.
"Yeah, sure. Anyway, let's not stand around here." I didn't look back
to see whether the girls were following me, I could feel their
prescenses, and it's more effective being dramatic like that.
I was expecting some kind of landing or doorway leading off from where
the second floor should be. There wasn't one. I would have been able
to sense any hidden doorways. We kept on going. No third, forth,
fifth, or sixth. The stairs topped off on the seventh floor. There
must have been a back entrance to the other floors. Space in a
walled, floating city had to be at a premium, it wouldn't be wasted so
stupidly.
A brass railing surrounded the top of the stairs. The floor in
question was a smaller, columnless version of the bottom floor. The
tapestries were different, though, and it was furnished with a number
of desks of varying quality, and sitting behind most of them were men
in green, black, and purple robes. They looked up at me with little
interest and went back to doing their jobs.
Pisspants was wildly gesturing, spittle flying from his mouth, to an
older man with silver-gray hair and a wrinkled face worthy of the most
worldly of prunes. The bare floor was polished to a mirror-like
shine. It's a bit irritating to see yourself looking at yourself when
you are trying to look serious and vaguely threatening. I managed,
and amazingly, so did the senshi.
Mr. Wrinkley, it fits, waved Pisspants off with an imperious flick of
his wrist, somehow getting his aged faced to look disbelieving. This
didn't seem like the best place to pull out one of my pokemon. The
floor probably wouldn't support Slammer or Gyrados and Demon couldn't
squeeze into this confined space for all the pokemon on Pokeworld.
The others had plenty of ugly pokemon if the need arose, though.
"Hey," I greeted politely. As politely as I ever get, at least."You
must be the guy in charge. I'm Ranma." Pisspants seemed torn between
attempting to murder me and rewatering his breeches.
"What are you?" Wrinkley asked."Mr. Dumas(love that commercial) here
seems to think that you and your lady friends," and the bastard raked
a lecherous stare across the senshi,"are demons in disguise as
mortals." When his attention returned to my face, my eyes were
burning with black and red fire. He swallowed heavily and pulled back
in his heavily cushioned chair a little.
I always have been good at making lasting impressions. Just look at
Setsuna. Anyone think she'll ever forget me?"I could say my friends
and I, and I'll rip your heart out if you ever look at them like that
again, are travellers from another universe. Though it is true, I
doubt you would believe the story." Happosai's trick was working
pretty good. Next step. The air around me darkened slightly, giving
my features a shaded appearance."What matters to you and all the
people in this city, is that the creatures we command are not demons,
but beings from another plane more powerful than demons. If the need
arose, we could bring down this puny little floating dirt ball. In
return for not doing this, all we ask is help in restoring our energy
to a level that would allow us to go home. The spells keeping this
city afloat make that impossible. So, if the city were to explode,
there would be no more spells and we could leave. If we get the
needed help, no one has to die." I'm not the most terribly diplomatic
of people, running more towards a terrible diplomat, really. I didn't
want to make the head honcho shit himself, so I cut off the demon
illusion.
A rustling of cloth and the scrap of chairs across stone alerted me to
the mass evacuation of this floor. They weren't as indifferent as
they had appeared. It couldn't have worked out better. Soon the
whole city would know that I'd hijacked the boss' place.
"Cowards!" Dumas, and what a fucked up name that would be if this were
an English speaking floating city, called to the escapees. His head
really did look like it was about to explode.
"The, ah...terms, of your arrangement include help, you say?" I
nodded."What kind of help would that be?" Old people simply weren't
supposed to act this way. It was just too out of character. He was
being obsequious and sounded more like he was trying to kiss my ass
than save his own.
"I need to draw power from one of the spell constructs that levitate
the city. Simple as that. I don't know how to do that without making
it drop like a rock, though. If that's going to happen, why not just
blow the place up now and get the trouble out of the way?" I paused,
waiting for any objections. This wasn't as fun as I'd thought it
would be. An amazon elder would have this guy for lunch."Someone has
to mantain the constructs. They would know more about them than me.
There could be alternatives to the first plan."
"And if there isn't anyone who can teach you to manipulate
the...constructs...properly to send you home?" Only the barest hint of
steel was present in the old guy's voice.
"Boom!" I chuckled as the horribly lined face went from grey to semi-
transparent."My friends would probably hate me, with good reason, but
they have important destinies on our world, save humanity and rebuild
civilization kind of stuff. If they're trapped here, that isn't going
to happen."
"Ranma..." growled Rei. I 'think' it was Rei, but the tone was so low
that any of the senshi could have produced it.
"See?" I asked, gesturing behind me."They don't like this part of the
plan. They don't have a choice, so don't get any hopes of subversion
going." Just so you know, I'm bluffing.
"I believe that the constructs you refer to may be the Wings of God,
our most holy objects. Their Caretakers are rather militant in their
belief that only they should ever have contact with the Wings. I fear
none of them would help you." Wrinkley wasn't lying. Damn.
"Well, you better get up off your scrawny little ass and find one that
'will' help us, before the alternative becomes more attractive."
Wrinkley didn't seem able to decide if he should stand or crawl, but
finally decided his dignity couldn't take the beating it would recieve
from his ego if he were to crawl away. Heh, I bet no one has told
this guy what to do in years and years.
Once the old man reached the stairs and the sound of his slippered
feet could no longer be heard, Usagi snapped,"Ranma, how could you be
so mean to such an old man?" If blondey started acting like Rei the
wonder bitch, I was going to find myself a nice set of ear plugs and
nail them in place.
"I did get a little carried away, I admit. I did get the idea into
his little old head, didn't I?" I took a seat on the edge of
Wrinkley's desk.
Minako shivered, hugging herself."When he looked at me, I almost felt
his slimey old hands grabbing me. Ugh." The senshi nodded in
agreement, even Usagi who had sorta taken up for him.
"Usagi, why did you take up for him with Ranma if you felt so
uncomfortable with his attitude and nature?" Ami asked. The straight-
forward question forced Usagi to think about her answer more than she
would have to a question from me meaning the same thing but voiced in
different words.
"I guess he just looked so old and fragile, at first, then he 'looked'
at us like that and I didn't really associate the two images, one of
the old man, and the other of the perverted old man, as the whole
image."
AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! It's
the end of existance!
Really, though, what the shit was up with Usagi? That answer had been
inspired."Usagi," Rei asked, gently(yeah, wow),"did you hit your head
and not tell us about it?"
"No, why?" Maybe there was some kind of time-release intelligence
booster in that mind block we'd gotten rid of. There weren't any
better explanations even worth pursuing.
Worried glances and resigned shrugs were exchanged.
****
The first three Caretakers that Wrinkley(never did learn his name)
brought in weren't the religious fanatic types I had expected. The
first didn't appear to have bathed in at least a decade, his beard was
filthy, reaching almost to his waste, and a fist sized boil grew from
his left cheek. You could literally see the thing throbbing! I had
to break his arm when he tried to rape Minako right there on the
floor. Women must have one screwed up place in this society, or these
Caretaker freaks held lots of power.
After number one ran away bawling like a baby, Wrinkley escorted the
second guy in. He at least knew how to use soap and kept any thoughts
about messing with the senshi to himself. He kept his thoughts to
himself right up until I asked him about recharging my energy. Then
he wanted Rei as a sex slave. This was really getting aggravating. I
didn't even have to hurt him, he ran away screaming when I started
glowing. Rei's super rat may have contributed.
Number three was a nice old man who really wanted to help us.
Unfortunately, he was a nice old man with bills to pay and wanted lots
of gold. Since I didn't have lots of gold I didn't even have to scare
him off.
"This isn't working," I said sourly to Wrinkley."Are there any of
those bastards that aren't corrupt? Just one?" Wrinkley had built a
small barrier of desks and books between himself and I, out of some
hope it would protect him from me, I guess. Heh. I let him have his
comfort.
Wrinkley spread his hands and looked apologetic."The Caretakers with
the necessary political power to have even a chance at meeting your
ultimatum are the corrupt ones." Then he started bowing to me.
Respect is good. Even fear is good. Ass licking, brown nosing just
isn't any fun.
I sighed."Well, find me a Caretaker with absolutely no political power
who isn't a pervert and get his ass up here. No freaks, either!" I
called to him as he scurried down the stairs. I almost felt sorry for
all that running I was forcing the old man to do, but at his age
exercise is a rather important activity...
Ami separated from the senshi, who were talking about various ways to
make their pokemon hunt down the earlier Caretakers who had visited,
and intercepted me while I paced from one end of the chamber to the
other."You've got to relax, Ranma." She ran her hand down my back.
That's really not fair."You're much too tense. We'll find someone to
help us get home, I'm sure."
I allowed Ami to drag me over to a chair and seat me. Her small,
delicately boned hands felt wonderful as they massaged the rigid
muscles in my back into a semblance of normalcy. Ack, she's doing it
again!
Ami chuckled lightly as I tensed, and I couldn't help but lean back
and enjoy the treatment. Could she have heard my thought? I mentally
shook my head. We were friends, lovers, companions, not a couple,
though.
*Silly Ranma, what do you think a couple is?* laughed Ami's voice in
my head. She squeaked in fright as I disappeared from the chair. Her
head swivelled rapidly from side to side, seeking me out.
I was planted firmly in the upper corner where the two walls
furtherest from the girl were. This was too much, too damned much!
We couldn't be bonding on THAT level! As people, in form and spirit,
we were too different. Hell(I guess that's a pun, sorta), I'm
virtually assured reincarnation as an upper demon lord shall I ever
die. Ami, well Ami fights for love and justice. The two just don't
mix.
I stayed in my darkened corner for however long it took for Wrinkley
to return. When I heard footsteps echoing from within the stairwell,
I slipped from my perch and rushed to the seat I'd had when Wrinkley
left. Ami was back with the senshi, looking a bit dejected, but I
could feel the determination she held for something. Me.
The man Wrinkley led into the room was in his early-to-mid thirties,
with an unremarkable face, crowned with muddy blond hair. His eyes
were the same color blue as the robe he wore.
Wheezing and sweating profusely, Wrinkley managed to say,"This is
Caretaker Telerin. He works as Keeper of the records at the Supreme
Temple." He plopped down in a discarded chair."You asked for someone
with no power and I found you one with so little that this chair
outranks him."
Telerin didn't exactly turn a look of hatred onto Wrinkley, but it was
damned close."You can leave us now, Chancillor." I think that was a
title, not a name.
I briefly outlined the situation to Telerin and waited for his
demands."Fascinating." That was a suprise."And you could recreate the
Wings of God, the constructs as you term them?"
I shrugged."Now that I've seen the spell, sure, if I had enough of
that crystal they're made from to work with. Why?" I allowed a
glimmer of hope to wiggle it's way to the surface of my mind.
"As the Chancillor so eloquently stated, I have virtually no political
power within the Caretaker organization. The reason for this isn't
incompetence on my part, no, my opinions aren't held in high esteem by
my fellow Caretakers. If you speak truly, my radical views could be
confirmed." Telerin looked a little happy and significantly more
hopeful than I.
"What radical views would those be?" I didn't wnat to get caught in
some internal power struggle with a bunch of amazingly corrupt
priests.
Telerin shrugged."There's nothing really radical about them. I simply
do not believe that God created the Wings of God. I have found
several references within our most ancient manuscripts that speak of
people with awesome powers. They were called Magi'i, and you sound
very much like one of them. I believe they created the Wings of God
to give Chicago a means to escape constant demonic invasion."
Chicago? Oh goody, we could very likely be trapped in an alternate
future within an alternate universe. But Chicago? When has Chicago
ever had anything but Rust demons and Wind sprites? Then again,
Chicago could have been the world capital of magic here."Well, then,
will you help us? I may even be able to prove you right before this
is all over."
****
Author's Notes: Any good ideas on a history to explain why Chicago is
a floating medival city now? Am I moving too fast with Ami and Ranma?
Need some help everyone. In other news, I have a mostly completed
prologue to a Ranma/X-men crossover in the works. It may even be
posted along with this. It's gonna be a kind of alternate universe
that starts off with Ranma being twenty and married to Kasumi, but
he's probably going to get dumped into the normal Ranma world. I just
love those kinds of fics. Don't you? Until next...C&C welcome at
dark_phoneix@hotmail.com
P.S.- I don't have a website. I've never made one before and don't
have the slightest clue how to do a decent one. Any suggestions would
be helpful. You know, what programs to use, what site provider is the
most reliable, that kind of thing.