Happy Birthday to You
Coneflower waited outside of what appeared to be a doctor's office.
She wrung her hands together nervously. This was the day she'd
receive her first clone from the newly invented "Gene Splicer" made
by Dr. Wisecracks. The door finally opened and out walked Dr.
Wisecracks. Cone jumped in excitement.
"Did it work?" she asked, impatiently.
Wisecracks nodded, with a mischievous grin. "Sure howdy did!
Congrats, Cone. You now have your very own Mush clone."
Cone hopped, happily. "Can I see him?"
"Yeah! Hey you, come on out." Wisecracks waved for the Mush clone to
join them out the Splicer Room.
"Heya!" the Mush clone greeted, smiling brightly. He wrapped his arms
around Cone and hugged her. He let go of her then went to hug
Wisecracks. She shook her head.
"Remember what I told you, no touchy" she informed, apparently for
the second or third time.
The Mush clone frowned, but got over it after a full second went by.
He suddenly got a nebulous expression on his face. "Hey, what's my name?"
"Oh dear, I need to give you one. Hold on." Cone examined him. He was
psychically like Mush except his muscles were a little bigger. He
wore the white undershirt Mush wore during the STD Chorale and KoNY
scenes, complete with knickers, hat, and hanging suspenders. "I know
exactly what to call you! Skimpy Muscle Shirt, but I'll just call you
Skimpy for short."
The newly named `Skimpy' grinned stupidly. "I like it!"
Wisecracks rolled her eyes and leaned over to Cone. "Perfect name. He
sure has no clue what it really means. Are you positive you want a
clone that's just as stupid as Mush?"
Cone nodded. "Yep!"
"Okay……well, my job here is done. Enjoy your clone. Remember *not* to
call me if he goes haywire. I slapped the disclaimer on his tushy
before bringing him out here. I must go work on a Davey clone.
Toodles!" With that, she disappeared into the Splicing Room.
Cone slapped her hands together. "Let's get you home. I got a whole
LH for you to run around in plus a beach outside."
***
"Happy birthday to Skimpy! Happy birthday to you!" Cone sang, over
Skimpy's shoulder. He sat at the kitchen table; in front of him was a
white cake with one candle lit. "Blow out your candles."
He obeyed, and the small fire atop the wax stick went out. "Yay! I
like cake. It's my favorite."
"That's good. I'll keep the kitchen supplied with `em then."
They had their cake then Cone decided to show her new tenant around.
First was the kitchen, which he'd already seen. Next was the dining
room that had a long narrow table. They walked through the parlor to
the other side of the LH where the library and Rainbow Room was
located. The library had an assorted collection of books and
fanfiction. In the corner, was a television set in front of a couch.
The Rainbow Room's walls were striped with different colors. The
closet stored a ton of different instruments, and by the door, a full
blown stereo system. The pair traveled upstairs after that. Down the
left end of the hall was Cone's bedroom; down the right was three
separate bunkrooms.
"This is your room. You can pick any bunk to sleep in. There's a
stake of clothes in the closet you can choose from including pajamas."
"Whoa…" Skimpy nodded, grinning. "This is a great room. You really
got prepared for me."
"Yep. I knew you'd be coming along, and maybe there will be more
clones living here soon." Cone glanced over at the clock on the wall.
They'd been touring the LH for so long, she didn't realize it was so
late. "Oh goodness, it's almost time to get to bed."
***
Cone made it to her room, and started getting ready for bed after
Skimpy was all settled in. She was feeling pretty good about her very
first clone. The decision for making more clones was going to be easy
now. "I need to make some Newsies and Monkees clones. That'd be
cool." She smiled at her musings as she turned off the light. She was
in the mist of falling asleep when a soft knock rang from the door.
It could only be one person, so, she called him in - turning on her
lamp in the process.
"Sorry I'm disturbing you" Skimpy squabbled, meekly.
"Naw, that's okay." Cone sat up and gestured for him to sit next to
her. "What's wrong?"
Skimpy's eyes flicked with shame to the floor as he sat down on
Cone's bed side. "Y'see, I really like my room and I want to sleep in
there. But…" He sighed in frustration.
She placed her hand on his back. "It's okay. What is it?"
"I'm a little afraid."
"Are you afraid of the dark?"
"I'm not sure. I turned on a light, but I felt so…I can't think of the word."
"Alone?"
Skimpy finally raised his head to look at her with understanding.
"Yeah, that's it."
"Oh, Skimp, it's nothing to be ashamed of. There's a lot of people
who don't like to be alone at night. I use to be one of them."
"Really? Wow, I wouldn't of guessed that."
"Listen here" Cone started, taking her hand from his back. "Since I
like you so much and it seems you'll need someone to keep you company
when I'm gone, I'm going to order more clones from Dr. Wisecracks."
Skimpy smiled broadly as he hugged Cone. "Yay! I'll have some pals.
Thanks Coney!"
The girl couldn't help but laugh, and smile herself. "Your welcome,
Skimp. For tonight though, why don't I sleep in the bunkroom with you
so you won't be alone."
He shook his head, disapprovingly. "Oh no, I don't want to inconvenience you."
"You're not inconveniencing me. I'll be fine."
"I got a better idea." The Mush clone took off out the door, heading
down the hall. Cone heard a dull thud a moment later.
"You all right, Skimp?" she called, staring into the darkened corridor.
"I'm fine! Just tripped," came the bright voice.
"All right."
A minute later, Skimpy returned with his whole mattress - pillow and
blanket resting on top. Cone laughed. "Let me guess, you're going to
camp out on my floor?"
Skimpy stared up at her in disbelief. "Yeah. How'd you guess?"
"Oh boy…" She watched as Skimpy dropped his mattress next to her bed,
and settled in again. "Happy now?"
The big, content grin on his face said it all, but she asked anyway.
"Yep" he replied, looking atop the bed at Cone.
"That's good." Cone reached over, turning off the lamp. "G'night, Skimp."
"G'night, Coney."
***
"Yo Cracks!" Cone yelled, walking into Dr. Wisecracks' office. Cracks
was leaned back in her swivel chair with her feet propped on her
desk, sleeping.
"Must of fallen asleep talking on the comp" Cone whispered to Skimpy.
He nodded absently, having no idea what a `comp' was.
Cone snuck up to the sleeping girl and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Cracks, wake up!"
Wisecracks suddenly became wide awake, falling out of her chair onto the floor.
"Opps, sorry!"
"Could of given me a little warning or at least a pillow to fall on
before your malicious wake up call" she snapped, as Cone helped her to her feet.
"I'm real sorry. I didn't think that'd happen."
"It's over now. So, what have you come her for? Don't tell me Mr.
Smiley here is defected or gone haywire?"
Skimpy frowned. "How did she know I was afraid of being alone in the dark?"
"Huh?" Wisecracks cocked her head, not understanding.
"Skimpy isn't defected or haywire. I want to know if you can make me
more clones?"
Wisecracks grinned, knowing her new, improved "Gene Splicer" will be
much appreciated. "I have just the thing!"
***
"This-" Cracks started, switching on the lights to another room
across the parlor from her office. "-is my self-service Gene Splicer.
Anyone can use it, just type in what you want and it'll come out. I
am not responsible for any defected or haywire clones."
"Yes, we know, Cracks. Anyways, this is SO cool!" Cone hopped
happily. Skimpy saw this and hopped too.
"Why don't you go try it." Wisecracks flipped the switch to turn it
on. The large freezer-looking machine started to rumble softly.
Cone stepped up to the machine and punched in her next idea for a
clone. The Splicer began to buzz, and after a moment, it stopped.
Cracks opened the chamber door to reveal a 10-year old Joseph Conrad
from his Kids Incorporated days. The little boy peeked out, meekly,
not knowing whether to come out or not.
Cone smiled, warmly. "It's okay, hon. You can come out. We won't hurt you."
The boy grinned, stepping out the Splicer. "Hi."
"Hey kiddo" Cracks greeted.
"Heya" Skimpy greeted also.
"I'm Joey, who are you?" the black headed boy asked.
Cone bent down in front of him. "I'm Coney. And, this is Wisecracks
and Skimpy. You're going to be living with me."
"Really?" Joey's eyes lit up. "Cool." Cone turned slightly to face
her companions, and mouthed `He's so cute.'.
Skimpy pushed pass Cone to hug Joey. "You'll like it at Cone's
lodging house. She's real nice. We can share bunks together!"
"Cool." The two boys strolled out the office.
Cone laughed at the sight. "Thanks Cracks. You've out done yourself this time."
Cracks sighed, posing in a dramatic stance. "It's all in a day's work."
"You think I can make some more right now?"
"Sure. Just don't get TOO Splicer-happy. I don't want to see a
million Mush clones `DUHing' around."
"Oh, I won't." Cone grinned, mischievously. "I have a few more ideas
in mind than that."
***
The doorbell of Cone's LH rang, STD echoing through the building.
Cone hurried out of the kitchen to answer the door, but Skimpy had
already did so.
"Heya, you must be Dot! Pleasure to meetcha!" Skimpy hugged the girl
standing outside the door.
"Uh…nice to meet you too" she replied, giving Cone a shaken look. "Coney!"
"Dotters!" Dot wiggled out of Skimp's grip, and went over to hug
Cone. "I'm guessing this is your Mush clone?" she asked, pointing at
the muscular boy.
"Yep!" Cone smiled, proudly. "His name is Skimpy. C'mon. Let's go
meet everyone else."
The three walked to the narrow dining room. The table was being set
by Joey. Cone introduced him to Dot then called in her four new
clones. A part of first season Monkees clones walked in, knocking
into each other in a very Monkee-ish fashion when the first one in
line stopped. Dot gapped at the four. "Whoa…"
Cone grinned. "Yeah, that's what I said. Dot, I'd like you to meet
Robert, Halsten, George, and Thomas. Robert being the Mike Nesmith clone; Halsten being the Peter Tork
clone; George being the Micky Dolenz clone; and Thomas being the Davy
Jones clone. "I used their first and middle names of the Monkees.
Y'know, like Robert Michael Nesmith or Peter Halsten Tork…"
"Yeah, you know I know where you got those names!" Dot glanced up at
the Peter clone and blushed heavily.
"I know you know, but our viewers might not." Cone waved at no one.
Dot nodded dazily, but was too busy not trying to scream from the
sight of Halsten. "Guys this is my best pal, Dot. She'll be stopping by often."
The Monkees gave Dot a warm welcome. Thomas was shy toward her which
was weird for a Davy clone. Halsten was just the opposite. The Peter
trait of being shy wasn't very present in Halsten. He shook Dot's
hand, and grinned at her without no problem. Cone made a note of this
genetic difference.
"Hey…uh…Coney, can we get some grub. I'm starvin'" Robert said, in
Mike's usual Texas drawl.
"Yeah, sure, Mike…I mean, Robert. Oh boy, this gonna be hard with the
name thing. C'mon yall, let's get the food on the table."
Everyone offered a hand in setting the food on the table. Cone said
blessing, and they all dug into the hot food. Cone glanced around the
table, nodding, knowing this was going to work out. This was her family.
Coneflower waited outside of what appeared to be a doctor's office.
She wrung her hands together nervously. This was the day she'd
receive her first clone from the newly invented "Gene Splicer" made
by Dr. Wisecracks. The door finally opened and out walked Dr.
Wisecracks. Cone jumped in excitement.
"Did it work?" she asked, impatiently.
Wisecracks nodded, with a mischievous grin. "Sure howdy did!
Congrats, Cone. You now have your very own Mush clone."
Cone hopped, happily. "Can I see him?"
"Yeah! Hey you, come on out." Wisecracks waved for the Mush clone to
join them out the Splicer Room.
"Heya!" the Mush clone greeted, smiling brightly. He wrapped his arms
around Cone and hugged her. He let go of her then went to hug
Wisecracks. She shook her head.
"Remember what I told you, no touchy" she informed, apparently for
the second or third time.
The Mush clone frowned, but got over it after a full second went by.
He suddenly got a nebulous expression on his face. "Hey, what's my name?"
"Oh dear, I need to give you one. Hold on." Cone examined him. He was
psychically like Mush except his muscles were a little bigger. He
wore the white undershirt Mush wore during the STD Chorale and KoNY
scenes, complete with knickers, hat, and hanging suspenders. "I know
exactly what to call you! Skimpy Muscle Shirt, but I'll just call you
Skimpy for short."
The newly named `Skimpy' grinned stupidly. "I like it!"
Wisecracks rolled her eyes and leaned over to Cone. "Perfect name. He
sure has no clue what it really means. Are you positive you want a
clone that's just as stupid as Mush?"
Cone nodded. "Yep!"
"Okay……well, my job here is done. Enjoy your clone. Remember *not* to
call me if he goes haywire. I slapped the disclaimer on his tushy
before bringing him out here. I must go work on a Davey clone.
Toodles!" With that, she disappeared into the Splicing Room.
Cone slapped her hands together. "Let's get you home. I got a whole
LH for you to run around in plus a beach outside."
***
"Happy birthday to Skimpy! Happy birthday to you!" Cone sang, over
Skimpy's shoulder. He sat at the kitchen table; in front of him was a
white cake with one candle lit. "Blow out your candles."
He obeyed, and the small fire atop the wax stick went out. "Yay! I
like cake. It's my favorite."
"That's good. I'll keep the kitchen supplied with `em then."
They had their cake then Cone decided to show her new tenant around.
First was the kitchen, which he'd already seen. Next was the dining
room that had a long narrow table. They walked through the parlor to
the other side of the LH where the library and Rainbow Room was
located. The library had an assorted collection of books and
fanfiction. In the corner, was a television set in front of a couch.
The Rainbow Room's walls were striped with different colors. The
closet stored a ton of different instruments, and by the door, a full
blown stereo system. The pair traveled upstairs after that. Down the
left end of the hall was Cone's bedroom; down the right was three
separate bunkrooms.
"This is your room. You can pick any bunk to sleep in. There's a
stake of clothes in the closet you can choose from including pajamas."
"Whoa…" Skimpy nodded, grinning. "This is a great room. You really
got prepared for me."
"Yep. I knew you'd be coming along, and maybe there will be more
clones living here soon." Cone glanced over at the clock on the wall.
They'd been touring the LH for so long, she didn't realize it was so
late. "Oh goodness, it's almost time to get to bed."
***
Cone made it to her room, and started getting ready for bed after
Skimpy was all settled in. She was feeling pretty good about her very
first clone. The decision for making more clones was going to be easy
now. "I need to make some Newsies and Monkees clones. That'd be
cool." She smiled at her musings as she turned off the light. She was
in the mist of falling asleep when a soft knock rang from the door.
It could only be one person, so, she called him in - turning on her
lamp in the process.
"Sorry I'm disturbing you" Skimpy squabbled, meekly.
"Naw, that's okay." Cone sat up and gestured for him to sit next to
her. "What's wrong?"
Skimpy's eyes flicked with shame to the floor as he sat down on
Cone's bed side. "Y'see, I really like my room and I want to sleep in
there. But…" He sighed in frustration.
She placed her hand on his back. "It's okay. What is it?"
"I'm a little afraid."
"Are you afraid of the dark?"
"I'm not sure. I turned on a light, but I felt so…I can't think of the word."
"Alone?"
Skimpy finally raised his head to look at her with understanding.
"Yeah, that's it."
"Oh, Skimp, it's nothing to be ashamed of. There's a lot of people
who don't like to be alone at night. I use to be one of them."
"Really? Wow, I wouldn't of guessed that."
"Listen here" Cone started, taking her hand from his back. "Since I
like you so much and it seems you'll need someone to keep you company
when I'm gone, I'm going to order more clones from Dr. Wisecracks."
Skimpy smiled broadly as he hugged Cone. "Yay! I'll have some pals.
Thanks Coney!"
The girl couldn't help but laugh, and smile herself. "Your welcome,
Skimp. For tonight though, why don't I sleep in the bunkroom with you
so you won't be alone."
He shook his head, disapprovingly. "Oh no, I don't want to inconvenience you."
"You're not inconveniencing me. I'll be fine."
"I got a better idea." The Mush clone took off out the door, heading
down the hall. Cone heard a dull thud a moment later.
"You all right, Skimp?" she called, staring into the darkened corridor.
"I'm fine! Just tripped," came the bright voice.
"All right."
A minute later, Skimpy returned with his whole mattress - pillow and
blanket resting on top. Cone laughed. "Let me guess, you're going to
camp out on my floor?"
Skimpy stared up at her in disbelief. "Yeah. How'd you guess?"
"Oh boy…" She watched as Skimpy dropped his mattress next to her bed,
and settled in again. "Happy now?"
The big, content grin on his face said it all, but she asked anyway.
"Yep" he replied, looking atop the bed at Cone.
"That's good." Cone reached over, turning off the lamp. "G'night, Skimp."
"G'night, Coney."
***
"Yo Cracks!" Cone yelled, walking into Dr. Wisecracks' office. Cracks
was leaned back in her swivel chair with her feet propped on her
desk, sleeping.
"Must of fallen asleep talking on the comp" Cone whispered to Skimpy.
He nodded absently, having no idea what a `comp' was.
Cone snuck up to the sleeping girl and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Cracks, wake up!"
Wisecracks suddenly became wide awake, falling out of her chair onto the floor.
"Opps, sorry!"
"Could of given me a little warning or at least a pillow to fall on
before your malicious wake up call" she snapped, as Cone helped her to her feet.
"I'm real sorry. I didn't think that'd happen."
"It's over now. So, what have you come her for? Don't tell me Mr.
Smiley here is defected or gone haywire?"
Skimpy frowned. "How did she know I was afraid of being alone in the dark?"
"Huh?" Wisecracks cocked her head, not understanding.
"Skimpy isn't defected or haywire. I want to know if you can make me
more clones?"
Wisecracks grinned, knowing her new, improved "Gene Splicer" will be
much appreciated. "I have just the thing!"
***
"This-" Cracks started, switching on the lights to another room
across the parlor from her office. "-is my self-service Gene Splicer.
Anyone can use it, just type in what you want and it'll come out. I
am not responsible for any defected or haywire clones."
"Yes, we know, Cracks. Anyways, this is SO cool!" Cone hopped
happily. Skimpy saw this and hopped too.
"Why don't you go try it." Wisecracks flipped the switch to turn it
on. The large freezer-looking machine started to rumble softly.
Cone stepped up to the machine and punched in her next idea for a
clone. The Splicer began to buzz, and after a moment, it stopped.
Cracks opened the chamber door to reveal a 10-year old Joseph Conrad
from his Kids Incorporated days. The little boy peeked out, meekly,
not knowing whether to come out or not.
Cone smiled, warmly. "It's okay, hon. You can come out. We won't hurt you."
The boy grinned, stepping out the Splicer. "Hi."
"Hey kiddo" Cracks greeted.
"Heya" Skimpy greeted also.
"I'm Joey, who are you?" the black headed boy asked.
Cone bent down in front of him. "I'm Coney. And, this is Wisecracks
and Skimpy. You're going to be living with me."
"Really?" Joey's eyes lit up. "Cool." Cone turned slightly to face
her companions, and mouthed `He's so cute.'.
Skimpy pushed pass Cone to hug Joey. "You'll like it at Cone's
lodging house. She's real nice. We can share bunks together!"
"Cool." The two boys strolled out the office.
Cone laughed at the sight. "Thanks Cracks. You've out done yourself this time."
Cracks sighed, posing in a dramatic stance. "It's all in a day's work."
"You think I can make some more right now?"
"Sure. Just don't get TOO Splicer-happy. I don't want to see a
million Mush clones `DUHing' around."
"Oh, I won't." Cone grinned, mischievously. "I have a few more ideas
in mind than that."
***
The doorbell of Cone's LH rang, STD echoing through the building.
Cone hurried out of the kitchen to answer the door, but Skimpy had
already did so.
"Heya, you must be Dot! Pleasure to meetcha!" Skimpy hugged the girl
standing outside the door.
"Uh…nice to meet you too" she replied, giving Cone a shaken look. "Coney!"
"Dotters!" Dot wiggled out of Skimp's grip, and went over to hug
Cone. "I'm guessing this is your Mush clone?" she asked, pointing at
the muscular boy.
"Yep!" Cone smiled, proudly. "His name is Skimpy. C'mon. Let's go
meet everyone else."
The three walked to the narrow dining room. The table was being set
by Joey. Cone introduced him to Dot then called in her four new
clones. A part of first season Monkees clones walked in, knocking
into each other in a very Monkee-ish fashion when the first one in
line stopped. Dot gapped at the four. "Whoa…"
Cone grinned. "Yeah, that's what I said. Dot, I'd like you to meet
Robert, Halsten, George, and Thomas. Robert being the Mike Nesmith clone; Halsten being the Peter Tork
clone; George being the Micky Dolenz clone; and Thomas being the Davy
Jones clone. "I used their first and middle names of the Monkees.
Y'know, like Robert Michael Nesmith or Peter Halsten Tork…"
"Yeah, you know I know where you got those names!" Dot glanced up at
the Peter clone and blushed heavily.
"I know you know, but our viewers might not." Cone waved at no one.
Dot nodded dazily, but was too busy not trying to scream from the
sight of Halsten. "Guys this is my best pal, Dot. She'll be stopping by often."
The Monkees gave Dot a warm welcome. Thomas was shy toward her which
was weird for a Davy clone. Halsten was just the opposite. The Peter
trait of being shy wasn't very present in Halsten. He shook Dot's
hand, and grinned at her without no problem. Cone made a note of this
genetic difference.
"Hey…uh…Coney, can we get some grub. I'm starvin'" Robert said, in
Mike's usual Texas drawl.
"Yeah, sure, Mike…I mean, Robert. Oh boy, this gonna be hard with the
name thing. C'mon yall, let's get the food on the table."
Everyone offered a hand in setting the food on the table. Cone said
blessing, and they all dug into the hot food. Cone glanced around the
table, nodding, knowing this was going to work out. This was her family.