Part
Six: The Fated Choice
I turned over in my sleep expecting my hand to feel the cloth of Sephiroth's robe. Instead, my hand felt the padding of the bedroll. I sat up quickly in bed to find him. It was not yet dawn and the sun was still getting ready to rise. The dim light made it difficult to see anything.
It was his white hair that I saw through the night. He sat several feet away from me his hands clasped in front of him. His head was hung low and I couldn't see his face. He slowly lifted his head and my eyes met his. He lowered it half way.
His face had tearstains on it and a few wisps of hair stuck to it. His eyes glowed as mine did in the dark around us, surging with Mako energy. He closed his eyes and I saw another glistening tear stream down his face.
I pushed back the quilts that lay over me and scooted over to where he sat. I placed my hand comfortingly on his shoulder and whispered. "What's wrong?"
Sephiroth raised his face to look at me and opened his eyes. I saw such pain in them. What had happened? Just the last night he was so happy. Why now does he seem so very angst ridden? I thought as an urgency to help him came over me.
"What's wrong?" I asked again, this time more worried.
"Nothing." He whispered coolly.
"I know something's wrong. You can tell me, please." This time I spoke gently while still enforcing my urgency.
"Do you hate me?" He said looking away from me.
"No! Of course I don't, I love you. Why would I hate you?" I was shocked and saddened that he would even ask such a thing.
"For what I did to you. Because of me you have lost your friends and loved ones. Not to mention the long life you had ahead of you."
"What happened was meant to be." I paused and he looked at me with pleading eyes. Eyes that asked me to forgive him. I reached my hand to his face.
"I forgave you before the blade pierced my skin." I said tenderly brushing a tear and several wisps of hair from his face. My comment seemed to hurt him further and he stood angrily. I only watched him as he clutched his head in his hands.
"How can you do that?" He nearly shouted at me.
"Do what?" I stood with deep concern all over my face.
"Forgive! How can you forgive a monster, a murderer, anyone so easily?" His gaze became intense and he grabbed me by the shoulders. "How?"
"Because I see good in you. I saw the real you and that is who I forgave. Not Jenova who was the real murderer. Jenova was the monster not you."
Sephiroth released my shoulders and took several steps back. "Jenova still controls me."
"No, she doesn't. You fought her and you won."
"She is still inside me and even now she is bending me to her will. She controls me from the Lifestream or Hell or wherever she is!" Sephiroth's voice became very intense and he spat out every horrible word. I didn't want to believe him, but I knew it was most likely true.
"I am a monster." He finished after a long painful sigh.
"I don't think that you're a monster."
"I have killed thousands without a thought and done horrific things one should not even speak of."
"Only because you were raised that way. You never knew your mother or father or any love growing up. You were raised to be a killing machine. How could you behave any differently than you were raised?" I questioned him.
He was silent for a few moments. Then he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. He embraced me tightly and I smiled. I thought he was free of his doubtful thoughts. He was not.
When he released me he moved his hands to my shoulders and looked at me sadly for several moments. He searched my eyes and I searched his unsure of what to think.
"I must go." He said finally and turned from me.
I was so shocked at what he said that for a heartbeat I didn't move. When I comprehended what he had said I grabbed for his arm. He turned around slowly.
"What? Why?" That was all I managed to say.
"Because you CONVICT me!" He shouted with fury I had only seen in battle. "In all you do you show pureness and a kindness I have never known. You show more passion and kindness in a single phrase than I have in my entire being." I stared at him shocked. He regained his composure and sighed once more.
"Jenova is calling to me." He said evenly gazing at me. "She is urging me to do certain things. She wants your friends dead and she knows I have the power to affect them even when I am dead. She wants me to use you to…" His voice trailed off and a tear ran down his face.
The sun was just visible over the mountains and I could see him more clearly now. He took both my hands in his and grimaced. "I dare not even say what she wishes me to do to you."
I didn't speak. I couldn't. Now I knew that he had to go. I didn't want him to though. He couldn't go.
"I MUST go." He said as if reading my thoughts. "I must fight her alone. This is a journey you may not accompany me on. You and I were not meant to be."
"WHY!" I barely managed to speak the words through my now freely falling tears.
He didn't answer he only said. "Don't cry, dear little Ancient. I will be back. I promise you I will return." Sephiroth took me into his arms and embraced me tightly. "Listen well, dear Ancient. Every Ancient that gives their life for the better of the Planet is allowed one desire. Go to the Counsel of Elders and request your desire."
He paused and thought for a moment. Then he said. "There is a young man who is no doubt already searching for you. He needs a push in the right direction."
I was so upset and confused that I didn't know whom he could be talking about. I was more concerned with the first part of what he had said.
"What wish?" I said still in his arms.
He placed a finger over my mouth and said. "Don't speak, dear love. Just trust me."
Then Sephiroth removed his finger from my lips and kissed me gently on the forehead. He then turned to leave and began to walk away. I stood staring at him for a handful of heartbeats as he walked away. As I realized just what had happened I jumped up and shouted. "SEPHIROTH!" He turned surprised to face me.
I ran to him about ten feet away and fell into his arms. He gazed down at me and stroked my hair sweetly. I looked up quickly leaned forward kissing him full on the lips. He seemed surprised, but eagerly returned the kiss.
We kissed passionately like lovers saying goodbye in a movie. Our arms were intertwined. We became one. It seemed as though the kiss would never end. I did not want it to end. For a time it seemed it wouldn't, but just then, as if reading my thoughts again, Sephiroth broke the kiss.
He gazed down at me for the last time in what I knew would seem like forever. I gazed back with tears in my eyes. He brushed away the single tear that fallen with his hand. He kissed the tear that was left on his palm.
Then he backed away from me, his eyes never leaving mine. After about twenty steps he stopped to look at me one last time. Then he bowed and placed the hand that had my tears on it over his heart. I placed my open palm that I had used earlier to dry his tears over my heart as well.
With that he turned away from me and walked to the path that held his destiny. The rising sun set hues of gold, red, and yellow upon his fading figure. A lonely breeze came up waving my hair and dress about slightly. I watched Sephiroth walk away until I could no longer see him and several hours afterwards.
I knew his choice was right and that we were not meant to be. In the hours I sat staring in the direction he had set off I realized that the love I felt for him was different from the way I loved Cloud. I thought I felt the way I did because he is an Ancient and like my brother in a way. But still, I gazed in the direction he had set out until I came to realize his fated choice. Until I came to realize… Sephiroth, my brother, is gone.