Vampire Dentistry
In an old factory on Eighth Street, a group of five
people, two men and three women, were deep in discussion. They looked like any other group of people,
except that their clothes were a few years behind the current fashion.
The tall, blonde man, apparently the leader, was
arguing with a voluptuous red head, his main contender for power. As was their nature, they had power
struggles over everything. So far, he
had come out the sure winner, but his opponent was growing stronger.
"They've been gone for
months! Either they are dead or they're
not coming back! Deal with it!" he
said.
"They wouldn't abandon
us!"
"Don't you mean that Angelus
wouldn't go anywhere without his little toy?" The woman made a sound that sounded suspiciously like a growl and
glared at the man. "Despite what
Christine here thinks, they don't care about us," he addressed their
audience.
"You're wrong, Thomas!"
"What? You think he will come back for you? He has that crazy witch, he doesn't need
you."
"She can't do what I can do
for him," she said with a smile.
"I say they killed each
other. Or the demon killed them,"
a low voice said. Both verbal
combatants looked at the speaker, a slender young man named David.
"What makes you say
that?" Christine snarled.
"Well, we haven't seen any of
them since that night. No Spike,
Drusilla, or even Angelus. We've been
able to hunt without coming across the Slayer.
That all leads up to them being dead."
"Maybe Angelus got his soul
back." Thomas taunted.
Sarah, a petite girl, spoke before
Christine could physically attack Thomas.
"We'd still see him."
"What if him an' the Slayer
ran off together?" the remaining woman, Melanie, asked.
"She wouldn't leave her
friends alone to protect the Hellmouth." David pointed out.
"So, she's dead,"
Christine smirked.
"He must be too. If he were alive, we'd still be groveling
before him." Thomas stated.
"Or, if he had his soul again,
he'd be attacking us." Sarah said.
"What about Spike and the
loony?" Thomas asked.
"Maybe they couldn't take the
heat." Melanie suggested.
"Com'on! We're talking about Spike." Christine scoffed. "He killed the Anointed One, remember? He wouldn't run from anything."
"Then where is he?"
"Thomas, I swear-"She was
interrupted by the door opening. A
vampire staggered in, clutching his jaw.
"Eric?" Thomas called. "Where's Anthony and
Jon?"
"Dead"
"How?"
"We attacked the Slayer's
little friends, the ones who have been hunting us. Figured it'd be fun, since the Slayer's gone. Well, she's back." The words were slightly mumbled because he
never let go of his jaw while talking.
The other exchanged worried glances.
"Tell us exactly what
happened." Christine ordered,
forcing him to sit on a crate.
"We were out hunting and saw
them waiting for a young one to arise.
Four of them, three of us... It
sounded so simple.
"We attacked and were winning,
when out of nowhere, she appeared.
Anthony never had a chance. She
staked him before we even knew she was there.
"Jon and I attacked as one,
but she was too much for us. She kicked
me in the face! Broke one of my
fangs! The only reason I'm here talking
to you is because I ran."
"You ran?" Thomas
snarled.
"Of course I ran! I'm not stupid. Be glad I did or else you wouldn't even know she's back."
"What are we gonna
do?" Melanie whispered.
"First of all, no one hunts
alone from now on. And avoid the Bronze
at all cost, that's her stomping ground."
"Why should we listen to
you?" Christine hissed. "I say we attack her."
"And end up like the
Master? Even the Three couldn't kill
her!"
"It's better than being
sitting ducks!"
"I vote for
leaving." David said, once again
interrupting a near attack.
"Leave Sunnydale? Are you crazy?" Christine cried.
"The Slayer's in
Sunnydale. We'll never be safe if we
remain here. Let's go to Chicago, LA,
New York, anyplace where she's not."
"I agree. We'll be safer." Thomas stated. "Of course, you could stay here and wait for your precious
Angelus to appear, Christine."
"No...No, a group is
safer. When will we leave?"
"After Eric sees Dr. Franklin."
"Dr. Franklin?" Eric
asked, wincing in pain when some air hit his jagged tooth.
"He's a dentist."
"Dentist?"
"Is there an echo in
here? Yes, a dentist. A vampire with a broken fang isn't of much
use."
"And how do you intend to get
this person to replace Eric's tooth?"
Christine sarcastically asked.
"By paying the man, of
course."
"Excuse me?"
"Dr. Franklin is one of
us. He was a dentist when he was human,
now he basically uses his old equipment to torture people. He does take on the odd vampiric patient,
though."
"How much will it
cost?" Eric asked.
"Dinner for the night. He has a taste for Asians."
"That's all?"
"Have you ever tried to find a
minority group in Sunnydale? Even the
Chinese place is run by Caucasians!"
"So, where do we find an
Asian?" Sarah asked.
"The blood bank." David said.
When the others looked at him in confusion, he clarified. "They have blood from all ethnic
groups. We just have to find a few
packets of Asian origin."
"An' how'd you expect us to do
that?" Melanie asked.
"Simple. Every ethnic group has a different
flavor. We just have to sample."
"OK, that'll take care of Dr.
Franklin's fee and we can feed in the blood bank. That way, we won't have to worry about the Slayer. We'll do it tomorrow night, then go see the
doctor. We'll skip town the next
night." Thomas told them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twenty-four hours later, Eric and
Thomas were making their way through the sewer system. Eric was carefully carrying a small cooler
and trying not to wince in pain.
"Not much farther
now." Thomas told him.
Eric nodded and continued to plod
onward. Ahead in the tunnel, a light
was shining. As they approached it,
they saw a small room to one side of the tunnel containing a reclining chair
and a table full of several mysterious instruments. There was also a man in a dirty lab coat.
"Yes?" He asked, looking at them in suspicion.
"Dr. Franklin, my friend here
has a need of your talents."
"You brought
payment?" Eric silently held out
the cooler. "Hmm... I prefer fresh, but what can you expect
around here? Sit down."
Eric did as he was told and
nervously looked around.
"Now, what seems to be the
problem?"
Eric quickly changed into his
demonic visage, wincing in pain as the tooth descended. He opened his mouth to show the dentist.
"Hmm...Broken canine. Yes, I can see how that would be a
problem. Can't get enough blood out of
one hole. I can fix it to where nobody
will ever even realize it's not your real tooth. When your teeth retract, it will also look completely
natural. Unfortunately, because of our
nature, anesthetics don't work on us, so it will be painful."
"Go ahead and do
it." Eric growled.
"Alright. First, I have to clean up the jagged
edges." He pulled the table over
to him and picked up an instrument.
"This basically sands the tooth.
It'll hurt like Hell."
The dentist turned the machine on,
filling the room with a buzzing sound.
When he placed it in Eric's mouth, he thought he would scream from the
pain. Instead, he dug his claws into
the chair's arms.
"Not many vampires come to
me." The doctor said
companionably. "You're the first
in over two years. Usually, anything powerful
enough to hurt a vampire's teeth is also strong enough to kill the vampire.
"That last case was unusual,
I'll admit that. All of his teeth were
rotten. Seems the fellow developed a
taste for diabetics. Liked the sugar
rush, he said. Well, wouldn't you know,
he never brushed after eating, and all that sugar just ganged up on his
teeth. There, that bits done. Not so bad, was it?"
He switched the instrument off, not
waiting for a reply. After changing the
attachment, he turned back to his patient.
"Now this will be more of a fine sanding. shouldn't hurt quite as much.
"Anyway, this fellow with the
sweet tooth had to have every single tooth pulled. I honestly don't know how he stood the pain. Had to wait a week before I could make
dentures for him, had to let the swelling go down fist. Poor guy had to eat from the blood
bank. Very horrible.
"Of course, he needed two sets
of teeth. One for when he wanted to
appear human, and one for when he fed.
He has to carry a small container with him at all times now, for the set
he's not wearing. Just goes to show you
that even vampires have to take care of their teeth.
"That's done. Here," he handed Eric a small cup of
water. "Swish and spit." He picked up an even smaller cup and mixed
something foul smelling in it.
"This is some adhesive.
Mind, don't touch your tongue to it." He spread the goop on Eric's tooth.
He again turned to the little table
and mixed together a substance. Turning
back to his patient, he put a small piece of metal into his mouth. "This will give me something to build
against," he said as he fiddled with it.
That done, he started to pack the
new goo onto Eric's tooth. He used a
small hook to smooth and shape the goo, then put a tiny blue light near it.
"This cures everything, sets
it up. Then, I have to do a little more
shaping." He removed the light
then worked the metal free, causing Eric to wince again. The expression became more pronounced when
he noticed that the dentist once again picked up the microsander from before.
"Don't worry, my friend. This is the last step." He worked in silence for a few moments, the
machine's buzz filling the room. When
he removed the instrument, Eric sighed in relief.
"Swish and spit," the
doctor said, handing him another small cup of water.
"Now, you're all
done." He handed Eric a cellophane
wrapped toothbrush. "Keep your
teeth extended for about half and hour.
Don't bite anyone in that time, either.
Remember to brush after every meal, or at least, before you go to bed. And floss nightly, I don't want to have to
pull your teeth."
Eric stood up, and gingerly tongued
the new tooth. He shook Dr. Franklin's
hand and turned to leave.
"By the by, how did your tooth
get broken?"
"The Slayer hit him. Hard."
Thomas answered.
"Hmm... You're lucky you're still alive, then."
"Yes, indeed."
"Well, have a good night. Don't eat anyone for half an hour,
now."
The two vampires waved and left the
room, making their way down the dark tunnel.
They were twenty yards past the opening when they saw her. A young woman with red hair sitting by the
side of the road, looking sweet and innocent.
They exchanged looks and smiled, Thomas's face shifting into demon form.
As they approached her, she looked
up with wide eyes. When she saw their
faces, she gave a small yelp and jumped up, turning to run. They caught her before she could take more
than a few steps.
Thomas lifted her off her feet and
bared his fangs. The girl whimpered and
Eric smiled maliciously. He might not
be able to feed yet, but he could still enjoy the hunt.
Pain suddenly exploded in his jaw,
and he collapsed on the ground, groaning.
He looked up to see the Slayer hit Thomas, forcing him to release the
girl. Instead of running like he
expected her to, she reached into her back pocket and pulled out a cross. She ran to him and thrust it into his face,
forcing him to remain on the ground. It
was then that he realized she was one of the Slayer's friends.
He looked at Thomas just in time to
see his fellow vampire explode in a cloud of dust. The blonde Slayer walked towards him, twirling a stake in one
hand. She smiled and him, and plunged
the wood into his chest.
"That'll teach you to attack
my friends," she told the pile of dust.
"Hey, Buffy, look at
this."
"What?"
Willow held up the toothbrush that
Eric had dropped. "A vampire with
good personal hygiene." She
quipped.
"Wow, probably the only one in
history without bad breath."
"Hey, a tooth too! Cool...
In an ick sort of way. You could
make it into a necklace, like they do with sharks' teeth."
"I dunno. Kinda gives me the creeps." The Slayer shuddered. "Reminds me of that werewolf hunter,
Caine. He had a bunch of teeth on a
necklace."
"Oh. Oh! But... This is different. Cause, well, cause vampire teeth usually turn to dust too. Plus, vampires are always killers, not just
three nights a month like werewolves."
"True... Still, gives me the wiggins. Maybe Giles or Xander would want it,
though." She picked up the tooth
and held it gingerly. "After they
clean it. Ew!" Willow laughed as they turned and walked
away, heading for the school library.
