The Runaway Royals - Part Twenty
Henry stood in the candlelit passage in silence. He was trying to calm himself before he confronted his father once and for all. He knew that it would not do to burst in and start shouting, that was not the way to make him listen. He was finding that composing himself was difficult. He was just so angry. Years of bitterness and resentment, that he had kept hidden deep inside himself, was coming to the surface, trying to get free. For years the king had treat Henry like some troublesome dog that somebody gave you to replace one that had died. You did not really like it and would like nothing better than to have it destroyed, but propriety demands that you keep it just in case those who made the gift come to visit.
He looked at the door through which his father had disappeared a few minutes ago. The prospect of a showdown unnerved him somewhat, but he knew if he did not do it now, he would back out and things that needed to be brought out into the open would be left unsaid. He boldly stepped forward and opened the door. The King, who was stomping around and muttering to himself, stopped and stared at his son.
"If I were you boy I would walk away now for I am in a foul disposition and in no humour to discuss this matter."
"Father, I do not care. We are going to have this out now. Even if I have to talk to myself I am going to say what I came here to say." Both men were shocked. henry had before been forceful with his father, on occasions he was even defiant, but he had never outright demanded something.
The King had never tolerated people making demands of him and he was not about to start now. As King his position commanded more respect than that. "I am King of France and I will not be spoken to like this!" he roared, attempting to make his son back down from his aggressive stance. But Henry would not turn away from what he had started. This was something he had to see through to the bitter end.
"Yes you are the King, but you will not live forever. One day I will succeed you and become ruler of this nation. It is still a position that I would rather not undertake, but I have resigned myself to accepting it. Therefore I demand to be heard. For years you have kept me down and prevented me from being myself. Did you never once think, that maybe if I had been allowed to be myself, I would be ready to accept my duty now? I may even have obeyed you and marry Gabriella."
"Well maybe there you got it right," the King said, unhappy at having to make this concession at this moment. "But you life has been one long escape attempt. Suppose I had, given you what you wanted, how do I know that you would not be off God knows where living a life of decadence without a thought for France?"
"You don't know that, but I resent the fact that you never trusted me enough to take that chance. Why do you think I always tried to escape? Do you think I was being difficult on purpose? I was trying to do for myself what you would not allow."
"You're right. I was not willing to let you go off on your own, but you were too wrapped up in your own self pitying misery, you never stopped to think why I did it."
"All right then father, enlighten me." He sat down on a chaise. "Did you seek to protect me from the thieving forces of the French countryside, or even murderous ones from further afield? Were you afraid that I would make your tidy regime disordered through my wayward behaviour?"
"When ever you climbed out of your bedroom at night or came home bruised and beaten from you adventures with gypsies and the likes, you never once looked at your mother and thought about what your behaviour did to her." henry was not going to have this. He stood up abruptly.
"What do you know of Mother's feelings? Do not pretend to me that you share any sort of relationship. I have seen the two of you be in each other's presence for hours and never once speak a word to each other. You pass sentence in court yet never once have I seen you directly consult her. For twenty years I have had nothing to do around the palace except observe my parents and never once did I see any symptom of regard from you, so do not preach to me about her feelings when you cannot possibly know what they are."
"Do not presume to know everything about your mother and myself son, your knowledge of the subject does you no credit. Your mother and I share a relationship that is not one of love, but one of mutual respect and admiration. I have consulted her many times on subjects of state and she gives me advice that is more useful than that of any of my counsel. Yes it is true that our marriage was arranged, but over the years we have come to an understanding in which we are both satisfied by the state of our marriage. After thirty two years by her side, I think I know her well enough to see when she is melancholy because of you, so do not lecture me on our marriage. I cannot count the number of times I have watched her hold back the tears because you have gone away again. I honestly believe that you were her favourite among her children, although I cannot see why the way you have treated her. When we received the message that Danielle was hurt, I have never seen her so upset. I just want you to get a picture in your head of your mother near on fainting, sobbing with grief. That was the first time I had actually see her cry because of your stupidity, but by God I determined that it will be the last."
Henry felt ashamed at causing his mother such sorrow. It was true that he had been very close to her, especially in the last ten years. When Francis died, they consoled each other over their loss. The King was unwilling to offer any condolence, so they retreated into their own world for several months while they mourned. The thought that he had caused her pain, was unsettling to him.
"From now on boy you WILL consider your family before you act. Not only have you distressed your mother in the past few days you have been the source of pain and concern for myself and Jacqueline. We are all fond of Danielle in a way that I don't think you realise. But not only that, physical harm was brought upon both Lord Grey and Lady Hélène, not to mention Poor Danielle. She nearly died Henry. She is your wife and you led her into a situation that nearly got her killed. Putting your own life at risk is one thing, but endangering the woman you say you are hopelessly in love with is quite another. Both you and I know that this sort of behaviour can not continue. I have given you command of the guard so that you will learn some responsibility. I expect this to be the last time I have to reprimand you like this. We will leave for Hautefort tomorrow."
"No father we will not. You may leave if you wish, but tomorrow Danielle and I are going to be escorted by a company of Royal Guard to our original destination. These past few weeks at the palace have been very stifling for a woman who is so used to the freedom of the outdoors. I am determined that she have a proper break from that formality, and if you push me far enough father, I promise that it will be a permanent break. there is something I would like Danielle to see and there is something I have to tell her."
"What can be said now that cannot be said back at the palace?"
"Something very important. One day she will find out just who has been warming my bed for the past five years and I think she has the right to find out from me before any vindictive court gossips have the chance."
"So now we get to the truth. You did not bring her here in the spirit of a passionate moment. You wanted to get her away from the palace to give yourself the chance to off load your guilty conscience at her expense. To make her aware of your affairs is one thing but to tell her that your mistress was the very woman who has now become one of her closest friends is quite another. You have clearly not thought about this properly. Yes most of the court know of the relationship you had with Hélène, but I do not think any are going to tell her outright. By all means she must know that you are not perfect, you cannot allow her to go on thinking you to be a saint when we all know that you are not, but had you thought about this you would have realised that you need not relay all of the particulars. Her best friends, Jacqueline and Hélène are unlikely to reveal your secret and she is unlikely to be listening to the court gossip. For her to know this would cause her great pain, and it is possible that you would lose her trust. Had you let that lump you call a brain think about this for a moment you would have realised that none of this was necessary."
"Maybe you could deceive your wife about your past, but I love mine too much to do the same to her. Just how many mistresses did you have before you married mother? How many did you keep on after the wedding?" Francis stepped forward to strike his son, but he quickly checked his temper and walked away.
"My vows were made before God and I have stuck to them. The only woman to have shared my bed since that day is your mother. She has borne me five children and for that she deserves to be the sole object of my affections. I have and will always be true to my Queen and don't you ever forget that.
During that time you spent with Hélène you never once came to me and told me that you did not agree with what you were doing, because you were enjoying yourself too much. You may condemn this now, but it was good enough for your ancestors, it was good enough for your brother. What makes you so special that it is not good enough for you?"
"Don't you understand? I am not Francis." The King was taken aback by this. "I am sorry that he had to die. Don't you think that I would gladly have taken his place were I given the chance? When I was a boy I looked up to him as a God. He taught me things I might never have learned were it not for his instruction. He was the closest male companion that I had. From a very young age I realised that if I wanted to do all of those things a son did with his father I would not get very far if I came to you. Francis was my only source of male guidance. Face it father, you had your heir to the throne and I was just something that happened to come along for which you had little use and even less affection."
Francis could not reply. He had no idea that Henry felt this way. He and his second son had never been close but he did not know that he gave that impression to him.
"I would watch you and Francis in the war room, planning your strategies together, inspecting the guard, dining with powerful men. You were always laughing and joking together. I thought if I were like Francis maybe he will like me too. I tried to be him but it never worked. You ignored me just the same as always. I did not envy Francis the burden he carried, but I did envy the freedom you gave him. You could say I even resented it. Whilst I was stuck here he was living in Paris or touring Italy. I wanted to do those things too, but no I was condemned to life in Hautefort. During the mourning period, you never once spoke to me about him, you barely spoke to me at all. I may now have been your heir, but you had not the respect or affection for me that you had for him. Ever since you have compared me to him and thought 'Francis would never have done that' and I am tired of it. I loved Francis very dearly but I am not like him."
A wave of guilt and remorse crashed down over the King. He knew that he had neglected his son, and to his own shame he had even allowed himself to wish that it was Henry who had died rather than Francis. He never admitted to himself depth of his sorrow for the death of his son, but right now Henry was making him confront that and the way he treat his only remaining son.
"You are very right, you are not like him, you're like me. We are both stubborn, difficult and controlling. You wanted control of your life while I wanted to control it for you. I blamed myself for Francis's death. I kept thinking if only he had been here and not in Paris he would never have caught that fever. He did not choose to go to Paris you know. I sent him there. I felt that he needed to get used to being independent. One day he would be making all of the decisions after all. When the news of his illness came to us I thought that had he been with me, he would have been all right. I decided on the eve of your being proclaimed Dauphin that I would keep you here where I could keep an eye on you, where you would be out of harms reach. I thought I was doing what was best for you, I realise now that I was wrong."
Without realising it the two men were understanding each other. This was an historic moment. Finally father and son would be more tolerant to each other rather than at a constant impasse.
There was a quiet knock on the door and Captain Laurent nervously entered. "Her Majesty the Queen wishes to know if your Majesty and You Highness will be joining the party in the library?"
"Tell Her Majesty that we shall be there shortly?" Francis answered. "And could you arrange a carriage for the Prince and Princess to leave tomorrow morning. The Prince will give you directions, I believe that he is heading for somewhere on the coast."
Henry smiled, relieved that finally he and his father had reached that understanding that had eluded them for so long.