Episode 11: Elementary, My Dear

Ayeka

The sounds of scraping and struggle echoed in the still air of the prison chamber.

"Ow, dammit!"

Kiyone sucked on her bruised index finger, yet she smiled at what she had finally managed to accomplish. One of the light panels had come loose, revealing a complex circuit net underneath the floor. Kiyone inspected the many wires carefully. Unfortunately, these wires did not connect to any vital systems. Kiyone hummed to herself and began to scrape away the tubing on one of the wires with her fingernails. A transparent cord slowly started to glow underneath the rubber-like material.

Fiber optic wires? Those were only used for visual simulation systems. The closest and most likely of these systems was . . .

Kiyone began to tamper with the wires. When she heard commotion outside the door to her cell, she quickly replaced the light panel and sat on it.

A guard wielding a Juraian war staff stomped into the room and demanded, "Is this your idea of a joke?"

Kiyone noticed laughter coming from outside the room. The display above her cell door read: "Mr. Spanky".

"It wasn't me, sir. Honest. After all, where could I access that panel?"

The guard looked at her suspiciously for a moment and then stomped back out of the cell, closing the door and mumbling something about calling maintenance.

Kiyone smiled. This didn't seem very useful now, but under the right circumstances, it could mean her escape.

It was sunny. That was the first thing that I noticed as I opened my eyes on what seemed to be a perfectly normal Thursday morning. This morning, however, I didn't feel like getting out of bed just yet. I reached up and pulled the cord that lowered the blinds. They promptly fell from their niche at the top of the window and landed with what seemed to be an earth-shattering thump at 8:00 a.m. Sasami must have raised those blinds. She was usually thoughtful like that, and she had timed it so that the sun would do her job of waking me up for her at the exact hour that she would usually finish preparing breakfast.

Today, I just didn't want to get out of bed for some reason. Maybe it had something to do with yesterday. You see, the other day, our quite dysfunctional and assuredly temporary family went on a picnic. It was deep in the mountains, next to a camellia tree whose life was slowly ebbing away. The sun was shining brightly, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, red and pink petals floated through the air all around us; it was lovely. Or, it would have been if not for that devil woman.

It was the perfect spot, you know? One in which I would have chosen to spend some quality time with that awfully sweet Tenchi. But of course, we weren't alone, so I made due by acting courteous, striking up entertaining conversation, and passing around compliments. I was just being my usual, cheery self. After a few rounds of fried maple leaves, I was even being nice to Ryoko for a change.

But, as you are probably aware, Ryoko has one best friend in the world: sake. Oh yes, that awful beverage that she goes to great lengths to consume was by her side all through the picnic. Naturally, she wanted to share this with Tenchi, which would have been all right except for the fact that Tenchi didn't want any; to no avail, of course, since Ryoko almost never takes "no" for an answer.

We had been through this ritual many times before, and I had my lines well rehearsed, so I promptly reprimanded her for her rudeness. She responded in kind with her usual biting backtalk, so I shot back the same, and then she came up with another retort, and so on, and so on.

It sort of went on all day, us shooting remarks at each other, that is, until we ran out of verbal ammunition. On the walk back home, Ryoko began to realize that she would never outwit me in the battle of the words, so she fired off a weak plasma bolt. I blocked it with my force shield and threw a force punch at her gut. She blocked it, activated her beam saber, and the fight was on.

Naturally, Tenchi stopped us from killing each other, but by that time both Ryoko and myself were totally worn out.

Oh my goodness! I've used up so much dialogue telling you about yesterday's incident that I haven't even gotten to today's adventure! Still, I am one for details.

Anyhow, it was a sunny morning, I pulled the blinds down, lah-dee-dah; a pretty normal morning, right? If only that were so.

I soon realized that getting back to sleep was impossible due to the wonderful aroma of Sasami's cooking wafting through the house and under my nose. My mind wanted to get more sleep, but my body was thinking otherwise. Food. Must eat. Rather carnal, isn't it?

Surrendering to nature's desire, I prepped myself for the day, put on a simple blue dress, and walked down to the kitchen. Sasami and Washu were already at the table, talking about one thing or another (probably about that embarrassing incident the other day).

Sasami looked up cheerfully. "Oh, Big Sister! You're late for breakfast! It's already getting cold; what kept you?"

I sat down at my place and gazed at my plate while Washu watched me intently. She had the strangest smile on her face. What was that about?

"Oh, nothing Sasami." I replied, returning Washu's mischievous gaze with a confused eyebrow arch. "I was just a little tired."

Sasami smiled knowingly. "It was that fight with Ryoko yesterday, wasn't it?"

I just smiled and began devouring . . . no, delicately tasting my breakfast. How did she always seem to know what other people were thinking?

Washu broke off her stare and finished up her breakfast. She deposited the plate in the sink and headed for the door underneath the staircase. "If anybody needs me, I'll be in my lab."

As the door to the surreal laboratory closed, Sasami used a stage whisper in my direction. "Wow, that time outside yesterday must have short-circuited something. She needs to spend extra repair time in the 'hole'."

I giggled. "If she stayed out any longer, she might have burned to a crisp."

Washu really did stay in that monstrous lab too much. What in the world could she have been working on? Suddenly, I noticed something unusual.

"Sasami, where are Tenchi and Ryoko?"

Sasami looked thoughtful. "I don't know. I'll go find them, okay? You stay and eat your breakfast."

It didn't take two minutes before Sasami had done away with her plate and was out the door.

It was two hours later that I entered Ms. Washu's lab. As always, she was reclining in her floating futon and typing away, this time munching on some sort of greenery.

"Ms. Washu?" I asked.

She turned and looked at me as though slightly annoyed. "How many times do I have to tell you?"

I was confused. "What do you mean, Ms. Washu?"

Ms. Washu put a hand to her forehead and red alarm lights started flashing and beeping everywhere. "Little Washu! Little Washu! Little Washu! LITTLE WASHU!!"

The alarms turned off and I cringed apprehensively. "Oh, I'm so sorry! Can I ask a favor of you, Little Washu?"

She smiled like a contented child. "That's more like it! Now, what did you want to ask of me?"

"This may sound unusual," I began. "But I think that someone is kidnapping us one by one!"

Ms. Washu looked at me warily. "Are you sure? I don't detect anything unusual on my scanners."

"But I'm sure that something horrible is going on!" I persisted. "Tenchi and Ryoko were both missing this morning, and Sasami went to look for them two hours ago. I haven't seen her since! What are we to do, Ms.-" I heard Ms. Washu loading a shotgun. "Sorry, Little Washu?"

Ms. Washu put away her shotgun and pulled up a computer display. "Well, I can't do anything, Ayeka. I'm just a little too busy with another experiment. However, you could probably solve this mystery by yourself."

"I can?"

Ms. Washu smiled mischievously. "Of course! With my detective tool cache," She pulled a briefcase out of a dimensional warp hole. "You'll be the most high tech inspector around!"

I accepted the briefcase cautiously and asked, "And what tool should I use first?"

Ms. Washu tossed me an object out of her pocket. A Valium pill? Oh, ha ha.

It just didn't make any sense. My first inclination was to follow the most recent trail, that being Sasami's footprints. Using Washu's magnifier, I followed Sasami's footprints out the door, around the back of the house, though the carrot patch (getting a little odd now), and back to the driveway near the front door. It was there that her footprints simply disappeared. Now, under normal circumstances I would have assumed that she had gotten onto some kind of motorized vehicle with someone else and driven off, but there were no tire tracks, Honorable Father was at work, and there was not another car in the house.

I put away the magnifier and walked towards the shrine, utterly confused. Maybe Lord Yosho could offer some assistance. He always seemed to have a sixth sense about these things. As I made the perilous journey up the shrine steps that had not been completely repaired yet (due to Ryoko's slacking off), I rustled through Washu's tool kit for other objects of use. The first tool that my hand came in contact with was a white cylinder attached to a large black battery. Curiously, I turned on the switch. The battery began to vibrate out of my hand and race along the steps with loud thumping noises! I called after the wild machine as it dragged the cylinder up the steps with it, the cylinder now glowing blue at the tip. I suddenly realized what this was and ducked just in time to avoid a gigantic laser that shot out of the tail end of the deranged weapon. The weapon continued to fire at random intervals and in various directions before I caught up with it and snatched the cord out of the prefire chamber. Why in the world was a high-power laser weapon in Miss Washu's "detective kit"?

Purposely avoiding the satchel for the rest of the journey up the steps, I eventually made it into Yosho's office where he always was around noon doing calculations on our financial situation. The only problem was this: he wasn't there. I looked all over the shrine area, and even as far as I dared go into the Demon Tomb, but I saw neither sign nor trace of my brother. Had Yosho disappeared too?!

At about two o'clock that afternoon, I sat in front of the television, which didn't make any sense because I was too worried to watch anything. When I had returned to the house after searching for Yosho, I discovered that Miss Washu had also gone missing in my absence. I had called Noboyuki at his workplace but his secretary answered the phone and told me that he had not come in to work today.

So, I was the only one left. Why was it me? Did whatever evil force that had swept my friends away think me stronger than the rest, or perhaps more savory, as disgusting as that may sound? My mind was wracked with questions, and I had the answer for none of them. I kept on circling the facts in my mind while inspecting the rest of the items from Miss Washu's kit for several hours, since there seemed to be nothing to do but wait for the inevitable.

At 6 o'clock I was almost bored to tears. I had expected the feeling of worry to subside into resignation after a while, but it had only worsened into a deep anxiety. I now wanted that evil force to get it over with. Why was it waiting so long? I had thought that I had heard rustling in other sections of the house earlier, and had expected imminent doom each time. Still, no swift, enjoyable death came to me.

Now I heard the front door opening. It was coming. I could see the dark shadow moving behind me. I awaited its wrath. I heard Ryoko's voice?

"Hey, what's up, Ayeka?" she shouted raucously with her arms wrapped around a smiling Tenchi who was holding a basket of carrots. "Why are you sitting there like you expect the Grim Reaper or something?"

I turned around to find that the entire missing cast had reappeared through the front door. Without thinking, I got up and dashed towards Tenchi, disregarding Ryoko. I hugged him tightly and cried against my will. "Oh, Lord Tenchi! It was horrible! I was at home all alone; I thought everyone had disappeared! I was so scared!"

Tenchi put his arms around my shoulders. "Geez, I'm sorry, Ayeka. We probably should have left a note."

Sasami held up a notebook and pencil. "Everything's okay Big Sister, see? When I went outside to look for Ryoko and Tenchi, I found Ryoko and remembered that I had wanted to go into town and get something to draw with. So Ryoko was real nice and took me to the shopping center!"

I sniffed. "Then why were there no footprints?"

Sasami looked confused. "No footprints?"

Ryoko laughed, now moving towards the dining room. "That's easy. I didn't see the point in walking, so we just flew over there."

Sasami smiled. "Yeah, that was real cool."

Yosho smiled as well. "I thought you knew by now that I go into town every Thursday to help an associate of mine with his shrine work."

Noboyuki stood behind him. "My secretary told me you called when I came into work late after a major traffic jam, but I didn't have time to call you back because I was rushing to finish my work."

Washu was typing as she walked in. "You seemed to be all set to go solve the case, so I didn't see the hurt in running off to collect some field data."

I separated myself from Tenchi and asked, "Where were you, Tenchi?"

He smiled that usual disarming smile. "I was at school Ayeka. I had to get there extra-early to study for a test."

"Oh! I feel so foolish!" I gasped as the others walked off into the dining room. There was really nothing to worry about after all! What a relief.

Wait a minute. It was summer now. Didn't Tenchi have summer break? I walked into the dining room to inquire as to the meaning of this when a brilliant flash of light and tinsel exploded in front of my eyes.

A chorus of voices rang out, "Happy Birthday, Ayeka!"

I was delirious as the fanfare continued, Tenchi pumped up the stereo, the cake was cut, and the presents were handed to me. I was delirious as I saw the silver and gold hairclips from Tenchi (primitive, but thoughtful), the bottle of sake from Ryoko (figures), the new clothes from Washu (her own personal design, of course), the new alarm clock from Sasami (very utilitarian), the makeup package from Yosho (picked out by Washu), and the . . . um, bondage suit from Noboyuki (like I should have expected anything else). At the end of my unusual birthday, with everyone either gone to bed or, in Ryoko's case, passed out on the couch, I sat up late with Tenchi watching reruns of some of my favorite programs. Just before I was about to doze off, I looked up into those soft, brown eyes of his and whispered, "Thank you, Lord Tenchi."

Like a true gentleman, he picked me up and carried me to my bed, neatly tucking me in and turning out the lights. The surprise came when he thought I was asleep. He leaned down and deftly kissed me on the forehead. "Good night, Ayeka."

I heard the door close and felt free to let my mind flash in rainbow colors like a myriad of prism-like butterflies. He had actually kissed me goodnight! How sweet!

It was then that I sensed another presence in the room. "I know you're awake." it said.

I was confused. "What?"

"You won't get him." the voice continued. "You won't win Tenchi's heart."

"Why do you say that?" I asked, now knowing full well who was in my room.

"Because he already belongs to me, and he darn well knows it."

"Well then, it's a contest, is it? Is Tenchi's heart a prize that you'd like to win? Is his love something that you can staple to a wooden board and hang on your wall as a trophy?"

"I should ask the same of you, princess."

I started to say something, but I could tell that she was already gone. She was wrong. Maybe he had been some kind of prize to me at first, but now I was in love. And I am determined to win.

Disclaimer:

This is a work of fan fiction and uses characters and situations from the Tenchi Muyo TV series, copyrighted under Pioneer. Also, some characters may come from the No Need For Tenchi graphic novel series, copyright Viz Comics. I take no credit for the base characters and plot, but all developments as of the time frame of my story are of my own design. If by some strange chance my plot is parallel to another author's fan fiction, I wish to be notified. For comments and information, E-mail me at bkvhw@earthlink.net