Duo, it's just a video game! Calm down! Heero sighed.
I will not calm down! Die loser! Duo yelled.
There is no justice in this game. Wufei muttered sullenly.
Oh shut-up! You're just mad because I'm better than you!
The TV screen froze then quickly put up a different scene. Duo grinned. Wufei grumbled some more.
I win again! Duo jumped up and started dancing wildly around the room yelling joyfully how great he was.
Wufei kicked the Nintendo 64 set in a very childish manner.
How can I lose? I fight for justice so I should win! There is no justice in this game, I tell you. None at all! he leaped angrily at Duo.
Duo didn't see him but he did feel the foot that slammed into his side.
Alright that's it. Duo growled.
They started fighting. Heero put his head in his hands and sighed.
Will you two stop it? he roared very un-Heero like.
They froze. Duo had Wufei in a head lock and Wufei was about to bite Duo's arm.
I'm going out to get the mail. Can you guys wait to kill each other until I get back?
They nodded with innocent looks plastered on their faces. Heero shook his head as he went out the door. He stomped to the mailbox without looking at Duo's car. Duo had completely remodeled it. You could take out all the seats and he had stuck stickers everywhere inside. He had painted the outside in rainbow colors just for the hell of it. He had made his own bumper sticker too. It said:
Duo Maxwell will destroy Relena Peacecraft!
Heero ripped open his mailbox and pulled out his mail.
Bill, bill, bill, goddamn it! How many bills do I need? Bill, bill, bill, junk mail and a letter.
Heero trudged back toward his house. As he entered, a book flew into his face. Staggering backwards, he flung the book away. He gasped as he saw Duo and Wufei. They were chucking furniture at each other. Heero saw his TV fly across the room and slam into Duo.
Hey! What are you doing? his voice was a little louder than usual but he had to be heard above the sound of his things breaking and flying into walls.
Luckily, Duo heard him. He managed to heave the TV off of him, and flashed a grin at Heero.
Having fun by trying to kill each other! he answered.
And throwing my furniture at each other is considered fun?
Of course! Duo chucked a chair at Wufei.
Wufei yelled, throwing Heero's sofa at Duo.
The phone started ringing. Sighing, Heero ducked into the kitchen. He picked the phone up.
Hello, Heero? It's Relena.
Heero twisted around and leaned against the wall.
I've got a favor to ask you. I need to be at this meeting. Could you and the guys watch my nieces and nephews?
Heero paused before answering.
Sure. We'll be there in fifteen. he hung up.
Placing the mail on the counter, Heero walked back into the living room. Duo and Wufei were busy trying to strangle each other.
Hey! We're going to pick up the other guys!
They broke apart and scrambled for the door.
Yeah! We get to go for a ride! Are we using my car?
Heero answered firmly.
Duo pouted.
Why not?
Think about it baka. Wufei muttered.
Duo glared at Wufei and ran after him. Both flew out the door and landed in the yard. Heero slowly came out and locked the door. He walked to his white mini-van and unlocked the door for Wufei and Duo. Heero walked to the other side and climbed in. Duo pranced into the side door and Wufei jumped in after him, slamming the door behind him.
Where are we going Heero?
It's a surprise.
Duo accepted that answer and started to ramble on and on about where they might be going. Wufei got sick of his rambling really quick and started attacking him. The van bounced up and down as they wrestled. Heero told them to stop a couple of times but soon gave up as Wufei's shoe hit him in the arm. He picked up Trowa and Quatre. Trowa picked up Duo, with Quatre's help, and placed him in the back. Quatre sat down beside him to make sure he didn't attack Wufei.
Thank you Trowa. Heero muttered.
Trowa nodded and the van started moving. Duo looked out the window, pouting. When they were almost to their destination, Duo questioned Heero again.
Where are we going?
Relena's house.
Duo froze then started trying to get out.
Why you little......
Quatre grabbed hold of him. Duo tried breaking away but to no avail.
Don't take me there! Please, please, please! he begged.
Heero ignored his pleas and pulled into Relena's driveway. As he got out, Relena came hurrying up to him. She stopped suddenly and stared at the front bumper.
What is it? Heero demanded.
Nice bumper sticker....
Heero walked to her side and looked at what was there.
Excuse me for a moment. he went into the van. You baka! Omae o korosu!
Duo jumped out, laughing. Heero leaped out after him with a gun in his hand. He chased Duo, shooting with great accuracy but Duo was moving so he kept missing. Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre calmly got out and watched the fight. Heero, and Duo ran behind the van. A huge explosion issued and the van shot forward, almost running over Relena. She dashed out of the way just in time. Duo came panting up to her. He pointed at Heero before darting away.
He did it!
Relena stopped Heero as he passed her.
What did you do?
Duo ran past her again.
He blew up your car!
Relena gritted her teeth.
You what?!
Heero clenched his hold around the gun tighter. I shot the gas tank and engine.
Look, don't kill Duo until I get back. If the kids see you they might try something. She walked stiffly down the driveway and headed for the house across the street, muttering something about the neighbor being home.
Inside, now! Heero growled.
Everyone hastily obeyed. Heero came in last, stowing his gun in his back pocket. (Or Spandex Space....but I don't get Spandex Space...T_T)
Hey Heero? Why are all these little kids here? Duo called, trying to pry some kids off of his legs.
We have to babysit Relena's nieces and nephews.
Screaming, the kids all ran at Heero. He yelped as they piled onto him. Duo snickered.
Ahhh! Look. They love you already Heero!
Shut-up Duo.
Quatre leaned closer to Duo and whispered:
What did the bumper sticker say?
The same as mine except it had his name on it. Don't you know? Bumper stickers can tell the future!
Quatre leaned away from him.
Get off of me! Heero shouted, but he was at the bottom of the pile so it was muffled.
Kids scattered as he burst from them. He glared at Duo.
Why did you put that sticker on my car?
Duo shrugged, then grinned.
We wanna play! a kid shrieked.
All the others piped up also.
Do you kids have a Nintendo 64 set? Wufei asked.
they shouted gleefully.
Lead me to it! Duo exclaimed.
Wufei groaned as Duo rushed off with two of the kids.
They have Super Smash Brothers! Come on Wufei!
Wufei dragged his feet despairingly as he followed the sound of Duo's voice. Trowa and Quatre looked at Heero. He looked at all the little kids staring up at him with hopeful looks.
I guess we're stuck with them. he waved at hand, indicating the kids.
Yelling with joy, the kids jumped onto Heero. He fell and hit the floor with dull thud. More kids ran from other rooms and piled on top of the other kids on Heero.
How many nieces and nephews does Relena have?Trowa asked.
Quatre tried to count them.
Alright! All of you kids in a line facing me! Quatre shouted to be heard above the giggling mass on Heero.
Squealing, the kids hurried to do as Quatre bid. Heero painfully got up, mumbling something unintelligible under his breath. Quatre was busy trying to count the long line of kids. Trowa shook his head.
Give it up Quatre.he mumbled.
Quatre came back toward Trowa and Heero with wide, unbelieving eyes.
I just counted sixty-seven kids. he fainted from pure shock.
Oh, shit. Heero looked disgustedly as the kids while Trowa tried to revive Quatre.
It's no use, he's out cold.
Heero sighed. If you count the two kids playing with Duo and Wufei, there's sixty-nine kids.Heero jerked a thumb down the hall where Duo and Wufei were.
Yeah, exactly.
Quatre stirred slightly and moaned. Trowa hauled him up and slung him over his shoulder.
I'm going to deposit him with the Nintendo freaks. he left.
Once again, the screaming kids jumped onto Heero. Trowa came out to find a large pile of laughing kids.
Hey, where's Heero?
Under here, baka-sama. the pile shifted slightly as Heero tried to get up. Get these pesky brats off of me!
Ohhh. But Heero! They like you.
Shut. Up. Trowa.
Trowa chuckled quietly.
I'm going to watch Quatre. his footsteps receded down the hall.Heero muttered some muffled curses. Unfortunately, most of the kids heard and started yelling them. Heero cursed some more. Smiling happily, the kids cursed loudly.
Hey Heero! Why are the kids swearing? Duo called out to him.
Heero struggled to get up.
Get off!
Kids scrambled away as Heero started to thrash wildly. Duo shrugged and unpaused the game when he received no answer. At that time, Quatre woke up.
What's Heero doing? he mumbled.
Spending quality time with the kids. Trowa answered.
Heero crawled along the floor slowly with at least sixty-one kids on top of him. He gasped and was pushed into the floor as more kids got on. His head was past the doorway of the room the others were in. Trowa and Quatre were watching him, amused. He glared at them.
Well don't just sit there! Help me! he snapped.
Suddenly, they burst into helpless laughter. Duo paused the game again and looked at Heero. Wufei tried hard not to laugh.
Alright chop, chop kiddies! Lets get off of Heero, ok? Duo said with a grin.
Giggling, the kids slid off of Heero and ran into the room, taking up every seat. Heero got up and scowled at the laughing kids. Duo started the game up again. Quatre and Trowa's laughter dissolved into little snickers.
Sit by me! a kid called to Heero.
No, me! another one piped up.
Not them, me!
Soon the whole room was in an uproar with all the kids arguing over who Heero should sit by. Duo and Wufei were oblivious to everything, engaged into their video game. Trowa and Quatre had stopped snickering and were nervously looking around at the angry kids. Some added a few words they had learned from Heero. Trowa and Quatre ducked as a couple of books flew through the air.The books hit some kids. With little screeches of anger, kids attacked each other. Furniture flew left and right. Heero backed away and waited in the hall. Quatre and Trowa were looking for a a new place to hide. One really fat kid picked up the couch that Trowa and Quatre were on, and chucked it. The kid whom it was supposed to hit, ducked and the couch hit the TV. All activity stopped as the usually happy Duo, turned angrily to face the kid. He stood up.
Guess what obese busu baka-sama, I was playing Nintendo! he lunged at the kid.
Screaming with fear, the kid waddled away into the huddled group of kids. Duo was in the group in an instant, shoving kids to the side.
Where is he? he bellowed.
Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre left the room and hung out with Heero. When Duo was mad, there was no telling what he would do. With cries of terror, the kids ran from the room with the fat kid desperately trying to keep up with them. Duo pursued them. Heero quickly got in between Duo and the frightened group. He grabbed Duo's shoulders and held him still.
Let go! Just wait until I get my hands on the baka.....
As I recall, you and Wufei were chucking furniture at my house.
Duo stopped struggling and smiled sheepishly at Heero.
Leave the damn kid alone. Heero demanded.
Duo muttered something about how much he hated life. Heero let go of him and slowly moved out of the way. The fat kid was looking at Duo and shaking uncontrollably. Duo narrowed his eyes and turned around.
You're not worth my time. he walked back into the Nintendo room.
The kid passed out. Ignoring him, some kids jumped up and down below Heero.
Lets play! they shouted in unison.
Heero sighed in disgust.
No! Go play with your little toys.
They ceased jumping as Heero walked away in the direction of the Nintendo room. Grinning mischievously, they crept into Relena's room. The other kids followed Heero cautiously. One of the kids in Relena's room, crawled under her bed and emerged again, holding two big, black, shiny suitcases. They opened them and pulled out three gleaming guns. Quietly, they snuck out. Trowa happened to glance at them as they stalked down the hall. He slowly walked to the room Heero was in. Heero, Duo, and Quatre were trying to clean up.
Uh...Heero? The kids...
Not now Trowa.
But they...
Trowa? Shut-up!
Trowa shrugged and walked away.
Fine. But don't blame me for what happens. he called over his shoulder.
The three kids walked into the room, grinning wickedly.
Like our new toys? one asked.
Heero and Duo looked up in unison.
Where did you get those.....
Duo finished.
He ran from the room yelling that everyone should evacuate. Heero straightened up slowly.
Lets put those away.
The kids readied their toys'.
It's playtime!
Heero muttered something that sounded like . The kids advanced on him. The other kids left the room, giggling madly. A stream of fire shot out of the middle kid's flamethrower, engulfing the Nintendo 64 set. Heero backed up a step. The other two kids shot at him too. Soon, Heero was running around the room, screaming very un-Heero like. The kids chased after him firing the flamethrowers and cackling madly. Furniture went up in flames as they passed.
This is fun!
Heero ran out of the room and tore down the hallways, trying to escape. The kids seemed to know the house well, because they showed up when he turned a corner. Heero dashed out the door and was surprised to see everyone outside already. He stopped inside the group. The three kids came out, dragging the fainted fat kid with them.
Hey! Where are your Duo asked.
They pointed wordlessly to the burning house. Heero sighed with relief.
I bet it was fun chasing Heero, wasn't it? Duo asked.
Heero pounced on him and they rolled around on the ground, punching and kicking each other.
Damn you! Omae o korosu!
Duo laughed. The kids glanced at him but then turned back to the burning house in awe.
Uh-oh. I wonder if Relena's going to like sixty-nine pyros? They might do justice to her. Wufei muttered.
Quatre looked around at the kids nervously. Trowa picked up Duo. and Wufei picked up Heero. They set them down and backed away as the two got up. They didn't fight again, Heero just glared at Duo. They heard a car and turned around as Relena got out and thanked the driver. The pulled away and she walked up to the anxious group briskly.
she started, beaming. how did it go?
Duo stifled a laugh.
Hehehe....I mean....ahem. Heero had the most fun. The kids all loved him!
Heero jabbed Duo sharply in the ribs.
And, um. Relena stared at her house. Who set my house on fire?
Quickly, the other Gundam Pilots backed away from Heero. Relena, being the baka that she is, smiled.
I guess we'll have to live with you then!
Heero stepped back and looked at Wufei.
Give me your sword. he hissed.
Wufei backed away with his hand resting on the hilt of his sword.
As Wufei went on and on and on and on about justice, Heero clenched his hands and pulled out his gun.He aimed, and fired. Relena fell to the ground with the smile still fixed on her face.
Oh. Well if you wanted to do that you should have said so. Wufei said.
Duo stared at Relena. He walked over to her and lightly nudged her with his foot. She didn't move and he could see blood running from her wound. Duo then looked at Heero and grinned. He ran over to Quatre.
See Quatre! Bumper stickers can tell the future!
Whirling, Heero cocked the gun at Duo.
Omae o korosu.
Duo ran away with Heero calmly following him, shooting at him now and then. Quatre sighed.
When will they ever learn? Trowa muttered.
I don't know. Quatre answered.
All the kids were looking at the burning house.
Lets throw someone in there! one exclaimed.
The others quickly agreed.
Hey, look! another one pointed at Relena's body.
Yelling joyfully, they ran toward her and pounced. Grunting, they pulled her toward the house and threw her in.
Burn Aunt Relena, burn!
Wufei smiled, satisfied. Heero and Duo stopped. Duo watched with obvious glee.
Hehe. Burn Relena! Burn in hell! he said, laughing evilly.
The kids jumped up and down, happy that they had done something right'. Quatre moved to Duo's side.
Um, Duo? If bumper stickers can tell the future, then how come you didn't kill Relena?
Because it only works if you stick it on someone else's car. If you want them to do it, you make the bumper sticker have their name on it.
Quatre walked away.
It's dangerous to play with fire. Get away from there. Heero said to the kids, who obviously weren't listening.
Heero walked to them and started trying to pull them away from the house.
Let them go Heero. Duo yelled.
Heero ignored him and kept pulling them back. The kids ran back up to the house each time Heero let them go. Wufei sighed and yanked Heero away from the kids.
Lets get out of here. he told Heero.
Heero shook his head. Wait for the firemen to come.
As if on cue, sirens were heard. Duo looked at the kids.
Alright little kiddies, they turned around to listen to him. let us explain what happened to the fireman okay?
They nodded and smiled innocently. A fire truck sped around the corner, wheels squealing.
Come here kids and act scared of the fire. Duo ordered.
They adopted a look of terror and ran to Heero, hiding behind his legs. Two more fire trucks drove after the first and the firemen quickly got off and hooked up the hoses, Water sprayed out and started to dose the fire. The kids wailed fearfully so Quatre and Trowa went over to them to comfort' them. A large, burly, fireman waddled up to Duo.
What happened?
Well, I was lighting a candle when a kid bumper into me and I dropped the match onto some magazine. I couldn't put it out and......
The house went up in flames. Yeah, yeah. Anybody still in there? the man jerked a thumb over his shoulder at the burning house.
Duo put on his most mournful face as he explained about Relena.
All the little kids lost their Aunt. I tried to save her but.... he buried his face in his hands and wouldn't speak any further.
Heero noted that it was because he was trying not to laugh.
The fireman nodded sympathetically.
Do they still have a home?
Heero stepped up to Duo's side and nodded wordlessly.
We'll take them back home.
No. We'll take them. Thanks anyway. Heero interjected hurriedly.
The fireman looked relieved and went back to the trucks. The firemen boarded them and drove away. Duo lifted his head and grinned widely.
Lets go kids!
So the Gundam Guys took the kids home. They all exchanged phone-numbers so they could keep in touch with each other. Heero dropped off Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre.
That was one hell of a day.
I'll say.
Heero pulled into his driveway. Duo got out and went into his car. Heero ripped up the papers and then shot them a couple times to make sure he couldn't read them anymore. Duo sped off.
I'm never doing that again! he muttered.
He sat down in his chair and sighed. Ten minutes later, the phone rang. Heero grunted but got up and stomped into the kitchen.
Heero? The kids framed us! The cops are coming to get us! They stopped at Wufei's house but he escaped so now we have to LEAVE! Meet us on Pluto! the phone went dead.
Duo had hung up on him.
Heero ran out the door and stopped outside his open garage.
Should I, or shouldn't I? he muttered.
When he heard the sirens he jumped into his mini-van, and started it up. He backed out the driveway and sped away toward the woods. The road forked off and he drove onto the path that led into the forest. He stopped right beside a bunch of bushes and climbed out. He pushed some branches aside and was rewarded by the dull gleam of metal. His Gundam, was still there. He quickly found the hatch and got in. He started it up and the engine coughed to life.
Blast off in....three.....two.....one. he said, punching some buttons.
The engine cut short.
Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
He hit some more buttons. (Hell, I'm not good with computerized things so BITE ME!)
The engine started up again and shot into the air. Heero allowed himself a slight smile until his computer screen flickered rapidly.
Warning. Ascending too quickly. Gundam will explode in five.....four.....three.....
Heero hit the brakes. The Gundam stopped rising and dropped. Heero looked at the flashing computer screen again.
Warning. Descending too quickly. Gundam will explode in five....four....three....
Heero released the brakes slowly and the computer stopped flashing and resumed it's steady hum. Heero sighed with relief.
Incoming message.
Hey, Heero! Duo's face popped up up on the screen. Are you coming?
Yes. I'm exiting Earth's atmosphere now.
Great! We'll be waiting on Pluto!
Heero set the course to Pluto and looked out into space.
This is going to be one long vacation.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Heero walked into his house and looked around it. Dust was everywhere and he was sure all his food would have to be thrown away.
Heero froze and looked into the living room. Sixty-nine kids were standing in there and grinning.
We burned down our houses and parents and decided that you're going to be our new Daddy!
Heero then noticed that they all held a flamethrower.