Title: The Night [Part 3 of ?]
Author: Pythoness
Written: 2001
Disclaimer: Magic Knight Rayearth owned by CLAMP, Done Hangin' On Maybe sung by Evan and Jaron, Karu owned by me [*squealz* I own something!]
Author's Notes: This is written based off of an rpg between me and close friends. Karu is a fictional character owned by me. Events happen approximately a year after the anime/manga takes place. The NSX is resting somewhere near the castle. Eagle is staying in the castle. Hikaru and Lantis are a couple, Fuu and Ferio are a couple, Umi and Ascot are a couple [it's more realistic than Umi and Clef]. Hmm.. anything else.. Please note, this is a work in progress. I have several of the chapters completed, but the story is not done. I do not know when more chapters will be available, but I do know that commentary will help speed that process. ^.~ If for some odd reason you'd like to use the character Karu in any other reference, please contact me and I'm certain we can work something out. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy.
The Night
Last night I heard the sweetest words
But if I wasn't' drinking
I might have remembered more of what she said
There were sounds of promise
And shades of grace
I've been down and I've been waiting
Here she comes here she comes
Now another day has found me
And if I wasn't so stupid
I'd have ushered in the morning holding her tight
With sounds of promise
And shades of grace
I've been down and I've been waiting
Here she comes here she comes
I'm done hanging on maybe
Tonight I'll say the sweetest words
But if I'm not dreaming I might not remember
To say just what I mean
With sounds of promise
And shades of grace
I'm done hanging on maybe
I don't wanna go, she don't wanna go,
We don't need to go this time is ours tonight
I glance over at her. Was she asleep? Her eyes are closed and she's breathing quite slowly. I hold her hands lightly. She's so beautiful out here in this nature. The light shining down on her elegant hair makes it seem like gold. Who cares if she doesn't have money? She has looks. And I don't know why she would think I care if she's poor. I love her anyways.
I slide forewards a bit, wanting to get closer to her. My knee hits hers. I hope that doesn't wake her up. She's so adorable when she sleeps. I can feel the smile on my face. I don't care. Let it be there. It's not like anyone is around to see.
Curse my mind. Here come Hikaru and Lantis. They open the door to the garden and step in. They usually don't see me up here. Perhaps they won't see me today.
No such luck. Hikaru spots me and Karu. I can see the gleam in her eyes from here. I know what she's thinking.
She bounds over and looks up. "Hello Eagle!"
"Shhh!!" I call out, not wanting to wake Karu. Too late.
She stirs slightly, her eyes fluttering open. She sighs and sits up straight, smiling. I smile back.
"Did I fall asleep?" she asks.
I nod. Hikaru giggles and bounds away. Thank you Hikaru. Although I have a feeling I will be getting the third degree later when Karu isn't around.
Oh well. I can worry about that later. Right now all that I care about is how beautiful Karu looks.
I think she can see me grinning because she giggles slightly. Her giggle is so cute. I laugh lightly and move a tad bit closer. I hesitantly place my hands on her knees. She doesn't object. In fact, she places her hands on top of mine.
I'm glad that she had me remove my gloves. I don't know why I wore them in the first place. I had no reason to. Habit I suppose.
I look at her hands, her perfect skin. I see her bangles and rings. I wonder if she wears any jewelry on her feet. Does she have a necklace? I look up, but I see no chain around her neck. I look at her ears. They do not hold those beautiful blue stones that were there last night.
"What?" Karu asks. I guess I was staring.
"Nothing, I was just looking at your jewelry. I noticed that you aren't wearing the earrings you wore last night."
She smiles. I wonder if she's surprised that I noticed such a trivial thing.
"No, I only wear earrings when I get dressed up."
"Oh." I wish she had worn them today. They made her eyes more beautiful. "They looked nice."
"You like them?"
Did I like them? I like everything about you, Karu. "Yes, they were very pretty."
"They were my mother's."
It seems as though she got a lot from her mother. I suppose she inherited everything. I'm still curious about her father. "They compliment your eyes beautifully."
I smile as her cheeks flush lightly. "Thank you," she replies.
Gladly. Anything to make you blush. Blushing means that she liked to hear that. I like it when she likes what I say. "You're welcome."
I look back down a the bangles around her wrist. I count. Five. All of a different style.
"They were my mother's as well," she tells me, obviously noticing that I'm staring at the golden articles of jewelry.
I smile and lift her hand, looking at the jewelry closer. I bring her hand close to my face. Quite close. My mind rushes to fast and the next thing I know I'm kissing the back of her hand.
I remove my lips from her skin and look up at her, quite confused with my own actions. I can see her smiling though. That makes me smile.
I look at her hand, thinking suddenly about a wedding ring. Perhaps, some day in the distant future, she might possibly be married. Hopefully to me.
I smile and blush at the thought. This obviously sparks her interest, as she tilts her head questioningly.
"Nothing," I tell her before she even asks. "Just a silly thought."
"What kind of a thought."
"Thoughts of the future."
"Oh?"
I smile lightly. "Please do not pressure me into speaking my thoughts outloud."
"Alright, I won't." She smiles and squeazes my hand gently. I smile back at her.
"Thank you."
"Gladly."
I sigh happily. I glance over to the sun. It was getting late. I would soon have to give up our day and let her return to her room.
"It's getting a bit late," I say outloud.
She glances at the sun and moans. Does that mean she does not want the day to end either?
"Yes, it is," she says unhappily.
"I suppose I should return you to your room."
She sighs. "Yeah....."
"Is something the matter?"
"I just....." She looks down. "I hate having to be escorted everywhere outside of the residential quarters. Like this. You have to take me back to my room. It's like I'm in jail and you are taking me out on probation or something. I just don't like it in there."
I sigh and place my hands back on her knees, a little higher than before. "I wish I could help."
"Don't take me back," she says half sarcastially.
"I will get you a room out here with Lantis and Hikaru and all the others. I'm sure that I can arrange something with Clef."
"Master Mage Clef?"
"Yes. People who know him just call him Clef."
"Oh. Well, you don't have to do that. I wouldn't be able to last out here. Where I live everything I do is on a schedule. I eat at the same time everyday, so it's natural. I'll live."
"But it's not fair."
"I know. But I don't want to cause a ruckus."
I sigh again. I want to help her, to make her life better. I want her to wake up every morning smiling. "If I can ever help with anything, please, let me know."
"Just....." She looks up at me. "Come visit me from time to time?"
"I promise."
I watch as a slight smile appears on her lips. I slide my hands up her thighs and around her waist, pulling her closer to me. She lifts her legs. I encourage her to place them on mine. She does. I smile and hug her, holding her in my lap, both of our legs straddling the branch.
"Thank you," she whispers in my ear.
"How often would you like me to visit?" I ask. I would visit her every day if she wanted.
"Just, whenever you have free time, and you feel like it. Promise me at least once a month."
Once a month? "I can visit a few times a week if you'd like."
I smile lightly as she hugs me tightly. "I'd love that."
"Alright. I promise to visit at least twice a week." I know I'll end up visiting more, but at least that way if something comes up, I'm sure I can still get down there twice a week.
She smiles and looks at me. I can feel her heart beating against my chest. I listen to her soft breathing. She's so perfect in every way. I know, right here and now, this is my soulmate. She has to be.
I always thought in the back of my mind that Hikaru was my soulmate. She seemed so perfect, so kind, so loving. But when I see her and Lantis together, I just cant interfer. They are happy. That's all that matters to me. I will stand by them like a good friend, help them when I can, and let them love each other. Lantis told me once that he thinks Hikaru is his soulmate. I think he's right.
He's also told me once that he's going to marry her. If he was serious, I still don't know. But I'm sure that they will never be apart. It hurts once in a while, but I'll live. Especially with Karu here now.
I know that she lives in the residential quarters, so until Cephiro is safe to live in again, I know where to find her. Perhaps I can talk to the guards and let her have free roam of the castle. Then she could come here without me, as I'm sure that she does not want an escort every time she comes here.
My mind is soon jolted back to the time as she sun begins to dip below the horizon. I need to take her back. But I don't want to. I want to spend the night with her. I want to lay here with her in my arms and hold her all night, telling her how much I love her.
But that won't be happening any time soon.
I sigh and shift slightly, reminding her that we have to go. She sighs also and moves back against the trunk, her body moving away from me. We no longer are touching at all. The emotion is so strong. I can barely handle it when we arent touching, if only just holding hands. That somehow is so much better than just sitting together.
I look up for a branch. I grab one and pull myself up, balancing on the branch. Heaven forbid I should fall. That would not be a good way to wrap up our evening.
Karu looks up at me. I hold out a hand for her. She stands hesitantly, holding the trunk with her other hand. I can tell she's nervous about standing on the branch. I point to a lower branch. "Step on that one."
"I can't," she says shakily.
"Yes you can. Don't worry. I've got you." I hold her hand tightly, reassuring her.
She sighs and leans towards the branch and quickly leans back. "No, I can't!"
I can hear in her voice that she's scared. Perhaps this wasn't a good idea. I let her hold the trunk and I jump down to the lower branch. I turn and hold out my hand for her. "Come on. I won't let you fall."
She reaches out her hand and grips mine. She hesitantly jumps over to me. I take her in my arms, hugging her gently. "It's alright. You made it."
We continue the pattern a few more times, each time she gets braver and braver. We finally reach the lowest branch and I jump down. I turn and hold out both hands for her. She jumps into my arms. I hold her tightly, smiling. I can tell she's smiling too.
I release my embrace and take her hand. I lead her back through the door and down the hall.
As we enter the residential quarters, I can almost feel her going down in rank. Her smile is gone, her hair seems to be duller, the sparkle in her eyes is gone.
She stops a few feet in from the door. "I can get back from here. You don't have to escort me anymore. Thank you for a wonderful lunch and afternoon."
I stand, not quite knowing what to say. She was nearly shuning my away, but I think I can hear a hesitance in her voice. "Do you mind if I walk the rest of the way with you?"
"You want to?" she asks, a hint of disbelief in her voice.
I smile lightly. "If you don't mind."
She smiles back. "Not at all."
We continue walking. She smiles lightly, but I watch as it fades. I can tell by her face that she's happy, but I can also tell she's uncomfortable.
As we reach her room she stops. I stop as well, reluctantly letting go of her hand.
As she draws a breath to speak, I quickly think of a way to continue this wonderful day that I so desperatly don't want to end. "Can I see your room?"
The question obviously startles her. She looks at me, wondering if I meant what I said. "Uh.... I guess. If you want."
"I would like very much to see your room."
She smiles lightly and opens the door. I walk in behind her, standing only a step in front of the door. She walks into her room and places my jacket that she carried all day on the back of the chair at her desk.
I look around her room. The first thing I see is her bed. It's a beautiful bed with a canopy on top. The sheets and canopy are a beautiful pink hue. The sheets are nicely placed in the bed, with not a wrinkle. She must have made her bed this morning. Much unlike my messy bed with the comforter falling off the end and the pillows shoved up against the headboard.
I glance over at her desk. It too is very neat and tidy. A few papers are placed on it. I can also see a small book. Looking closer it appears to be a diary. I wonder if there is any mention of me.
I look at the lovely purple lamp on the desk. It was a nice make, though I could tell by the bulb that it must make the room very warm when in use.
I glance over and see the door to her closet. Closed. Next to her closet is a tall dresser, no doubt where she keeps her clothes.
I then see another dresser, only this one is long. There is a mirror on the back of it. A few peices of paper stick out the edges. I take a step forewards to look at them. One is a poem. I lean forewards to read it.
Want. To desire greatly.
What is it that I want?
His touch? His kiss?
His heart? His love?
If only I could tell.
Need. A lack of something nessicary.
Do I need him?
His kindness? His words?
His beautiful golden eyes that seem to melt my very soul?
Passion. Powerful feeling.
Do I feel this passion?
Do I want to feel it?
Do I need to have it?
My heart won't decide.
Heart. An organ of life.
Is this organ ruining my life?
Do I need to feel this pain?
Pain. Physical or mental suffering.
Must this pain haunt me?
Must it make me stay up all night thinking about him?
Love. Intesnse affection.
Do I hold love in my heart?
What is love? A feeling?
Perhaps.
A want, a need, a passion?
Possibly.
Is it worth having if it causes such pain?
Yes.
I need this love.
The want.
The need.
The passion.
I need him.
Karu quickly pulled me away once she realized I was reading the poem. "What?" I asked. "Can I not read it?"
I can see her cheeks trying to decide whether to pale or blush. "It.... it's not meant to be read."
She grabs the peice of paper and shoves it in the drawer of her desk. It was such a beauitful poem though.
"Did you write that?"
"Yes," she says, looking down at her desk.
"It was beautiful."
"T-Thank you."
"Do you write a lot of poetry?"
She nods.
"Will you show me some more?"
She turns and looks at me. "You want to read more?"
"Yes. That was quite beautiful. Might I ask when you wrote it?"
"Um.... l-last night," she says while looking back down at her desk.
She wrote a poem about love last night? After our evening? Did that mean...? Perhaps it had been me she as writing about? The poem did say that the man had golden eyes. My eyes are quite a lovely shade of hazelnut.
"Can I see some more?"
She nods hesitantly and walks to her closet. I watch as she pulls out a few notebooks. She hands me one of the books a bit reluctantly. I smile and take the book. I walk to her bed and sit on the end, looking at the book in my hand.
On the cover was a picture of a person and a heart. The heart was broken and the person was on their knees praying. By the long braid I assumed the person was feminine, although I could be wrong.
I look up as Karu sits next to me. I smile. She smiles lightly back, glancing down at the book. I open the cover and look at the inside. Her name was written inside the cover. But no last name. Interesting.
I turn the page and look at the first poem. Another poem about love. But this is about a mother's love. The poem is about a mother who has departed, but still watches her daughter.
Does Karu write about her own experiences? I assume that she was quite attached to her mother. And by what I can see, she thinks very often of her mother.
"Will you tell me about her someday?" I ask Karu.
She looks at me a bit confused. It appears that she has a small clue as to who I'm talking about. "My mother?"
"Yes. I'd like to know about her sometime."
She hesitates. "Perhaps. Sometime. Not today."
I nod, agreeing. It is probably hard for her to talk about her mother. I accept that.
"Would you mind if I took this with me tonight and read your poems? I don't want to impose by staying here all night, but I'd like to read them."
"I...." I can see her debating. Not that I wouldn't mind staying all night, but I would not want her to think I'm trying to get into her bed or anything. "I don't know."
"That's alright. I understand." I stand. It feels like she wants me out. She looks up at me. I smile and hand her the book. She takes it, but I think she's confused. I take a few steps towards the door. "I suppose I shall be going now."
"You..... you can stay, if you want to read them."
I smile, stopping before I reach the door. "Are you sure you wouldn't mind?"
She shakes her head. "No. I'd like the company."
I smile and walk back over to her. She stands and hands me the book again. I take the book and look around. I didn't want to sit on her bed. She might get the wrong impression. I look over at the desk. "May I sit there and read?"
She looks over and nods. "Let me just get the junk off the desk."
"It's alright. You don't have to."
I walk to the desk with her and watch her lift all the stuff and place it on the floor next to the desk. She then grabs her diary, I notice. So that's it. She didn't want me messing with that. Understandable, though I would never do such a thing.
I smile and sit down. I watch as she takes the diary back to her bed. She climbs in the large bed and sits against the headboard. She opens her diary and takes out a pen. She was going to write.
I smile and look at the book. I open it again and begin reading. The poems are all so good. They are so intelligent, and they appear to be straight from the heart.
* * *
I don't know when she fell asleep, but I looked over at her once and her eyes were closed and she was laying curled up on her side. I smile sleepily and yawn. I'm getting tired myself. Perhaps I should go.
But I want to stay. She looks so beautiful sleeping there. She's sleeping while I'm in her room, reading her poetry. I could easily walk over there and lay next to her.
I yawn again, resting my head on the desk, my arms propping it up. I watch her for a few moments, being hypnotized by the rise and fall of her chest as she breathes.
My eyes slowly close. I know I'm tired. I'll just rest my eyes for a moment and leave.
Author: Pythoness
Written: 2001
Disclaimer: Magic Knight Rayearth owned by CLAMP, Done Hangin' On Maybe sung by Evan and Jaron, Karu owned by me [*squealz* I own something!]
Author's Notes: This is written based off of an rpg between me and close friends. Karu is a fictional character owned by me. Events happen approximately a year after the anime/manga takes place. The NSX is resting somewhere near the castle. Eagle is staying in the castle. Hikaru and Lantis are a couple, Fuu and Ferio are a couple, Umi and Ascot are a couple [it's more realistic than Umi and Clef]. Hmm.. anything else.. Please note, this is a work in progress. I have several of the chapters completed, but the story is not done. I do not know when more chapters will be available, but I do know that commentary will help speed that process. ^.~ If for some odd reason you'd like to use the character Karu in any other reference, please contact me and I'm certain we can work something out. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy.
The Night
Last night I heard the sweetest words
But if I wasn't' drinking
I might have remembered more of what she said
There were sounds of promise
And shades of grace
I've been down and I've been waiting
Here she comes here she comes
Now another day has found me
And if I wasn't so stupid
I'd have ushered in the morning holding her tight
With sounds of promise
And shades of grace
I've been down and I've been waiting
Here she comes here she comes
I'm done hanging on maybe
Tonight I'll say the sweetest words
But if I'm not dreaming I might not remember
To say just what I mean
With sounds of promise
And shades of grace
I'm done hanging on maybe
I don't wanna go, she don't wanna go,
We don't need to go this time is ours tonight
I glance over at her. Was she asleep? Her eyes are closed and she's breathing quite slowly. I hold her hands lightly. She's so beautiful out here in this nature. The light shining down on her elegant hair makes it seem like gold. Who cares if she doesn't have money? She has looks. And I don't know why she would think I care if she's poor. I love her anyways.
I slide forewards a bit, wanting to get closer to her. My knee hits hers. I hope that doesn't wake her up. She's so adorable when she sleeps. I can feel the smile on my face. I don't care. Let it be there. It's not like anyone is around to see.
Curse my mind. Here come Hikaru and Lantis. They open the door to the garden and step in. They usually don't see me up here. Perhaps they won't see me today.
No such luck. Hikaru spots me and Karu. I can see the gleam in her eyes from here. I know what she's thinking.
She bounds over and looks up. "Hello Eagle!"
"Shhh!!" I call out, not wanting to wake Karu. Too late.
She stirs slightly, her eyes fluttering open. She sighs and sits up straight, smiling. I smile back.
"Did I fall asleep?" she asks.
I nod. Hikaru giggles and bounds away. Thank you Hikaru. Although I have a feeling I will be getting the third degree later when Karu isn't around.
Oh well. I can worry about that later. Right now all that I care about is how beautiful Karu looks.
I think she can see me grinning because she giggles slightly. Her giggle is so cute. I laugh lightly and move a tad bit closer. I hesitantly place my hands on her knees. She doesn't object. In fact, she places her hands on top of mine.
I'm glad that she had me remove my gloves. I don't know why I wore them in the first place. I had no reason to. Habit I suppose.
I look at her hands, her perfect skin. I see her bangles and rings. I wonder if she wears any jewelry on her feet. Does she have a necklace? I look up, but I see no chain around her neck. I look at her ears. They do not hold those beautiful blue stones that were there last night.
"What?" Karu asks. I guess I was staring.
"Nothing, I was just looking at your jewelry. I noticed that you aren't wearing the earrings you wore last night."
She smiles. I wonder if she's surprised that I noticed such a trivial thing.
"No, I only wear earrings when I get dressed up."
"Oh." I wish she had worn them today. They made her eyes more beautiful. "They looked nice."
"You like them?"
Did I like them? I like everything about you, Karu. "Yes, they were very pretty."
"They were my mother's."
It seems as though she got a lot from her mother. I suppose she inherited everything. I'm still curious about her father. "They compliment your eyes beautifully."
I smile as her cheeks flush lightly. "Thank you," she replies.
Gladly. Anything to make you blush. Blushing means that she liked to hear that. I like it when she likes what I say. "You're welcome."
I look back down a the bangles around her wrist. I count. Five. All of a different style.
"They were my mother's as well," she tells me, obviously noticing that I'm staring at the golden articles of jewelry.
I smile and lift her hand, looking at the jewelry closer. I bring her hand close to my face. Quite close. My mind rushes to fast and the next thing I know I'm kissing the back of her hand.
I remove my lips from her skin and look up at her, quite confused with my own actions. I can see her smiling though. That makes me smile.
I look at her hand, thinking suddenly about a wedding ring. Perhaps, some day in the distant future, she might possibly be married. Hopefully to me.
I smile and blush at the thought. This obviously sparks her interest, as she tilts her head questioningly.
"Nothing," I tell her before she even asks. "Just a silly thought."
"What kind of a thought."
"Thoughts of the future."
"Oh?"
I smile lightly. "Please do not pressure me into speaking my thoughts outloud."
"Alright, I won't." She smiles and squeazes my hand gently. I smile back at her.
"Thank you."
"Gladly."
I sigh happily. I glance over to the sun. It was getting late. I would soon have to give up our day and let her return to her room.
"It's getting a bit late," I say outloud.
She glances at the sun and moans. Does that mean she does not want the day to end either?
"Yes, it is," she says unhappily.
"I suppose I should return you to your room."
She sighs. "Yeah....."
"Is something the matter?"
"I just....." She looks down. "I hate having to be escorted everywhere outside of the residential quarters. Like this. You have to take me back to my room. It's like I'm in jail and you are taking me out on probation or something. I just don't like it in there."
I sigh and place my hands back on her knees, a little higher than before. "I wish I could help."
"Don't take me back," she says half sarcastially.
"I will get you a room out here with Lantis and Hikaru and all the others. I'm sure that I can arrange something with Clef."
"Master Mage Clef?"
"Yes. People who know him just call him Clef."
"Oh. Well, you don't have to do that. I wouldn't be able to last out here. Where I live everything I do is on a schedule. I eat at the same time everyday, so it's natural. I'll live."
"But it's not fair."
"I know. But I don't want to cause a ruckus."
I sigh again. I want to help her, to make her life better. I want her to wake up every morning smiling. "If I can ever help with anything, please, let me know."
"Just....." She looks up at me. "Come visit me from time to time?"
"I promise."
I watch as a slight smile appears on her lips. I slide my hands up her thighs and around her waist, pulling her closer to me. She lifts her legs. I encourage her to place them on mine. She does. I smile and hug her, holding her in my lap, both of our legs straddling the branch.
"Thank you," she whispers in my ear.
"How often would you like me to visit?" I ask. I would visit her every day if she wanted.
"Just, whenever you have free time, and you feel like it. Promise me at least once a month."
Once a month? "I can visit a few times a week if you'd like."
I smile lightly as she hugs me tightly. "I'd love that."
"Alright. I promise to visit at least twice a week." I know I'll end up visiting more, but at least that way if something comes up, I'm sure I can still get down there twice a week.
She smiles and looks at me. I can feel her heart beating against my chest. I listen to her soft breathing. She's so perfect in every way. I know, right here and now, this is my soulmate. She has to be.
I always thought in the back of my mind that Hikaru was my soulmate. She seemed so perfect, so kind, so loving. But when I see her and Lantis together, I just cant interfer. They are happy. That's all that matters to me. I will stand by them like a good friend, help them when I can, and let them love each other. Lantis told me once that he thinks Hikaru is his soulmate. I think he's right.
He's also told me once that he's going to marry her. If he was serious, I still don't know. But I'm sure that they will never be apart. It hurts once in a while, but I'll live. Especially with Karu here now.
I know that she lives in the residential quarters, so until Cephiro is safe to live in again, I know where to find her. Perhaps I can talk to the guards and let her have free roam of the castle. Then she could come here without me, as I'm sure that she does not want an escort every time she comes here.
My mind is soon jolted back to the time as she sun begins to dip below the horizon. I need to take her back. But I don't want to. I want to spend the night with her. I want to lay here with her in my arms and hold her all night, telling her how much I love her.
But that won't be happening any time soon.
I sigh and shift slightly, reminding her that we have to go. She sighs also and moves back against the trunk, her body moving away from me. We no longer are touching at all. The emotion is so strong. I can barely handle it when we arent touching, if only just holding hands. That somehow is so much better than just sitting together.
I look up for a branch. I grab one and pull myself up, balancing on the branch. Heaven forbid I should fall. That would not be a good way to wrap up our evening.
Karu looks up at me. I hold out a hand for her. She stands hesitantly, holding the trunk with her other hand. I can tell she's nervous about standing on the branch. I point to a lower branch. "Step on that one."
"I can't," she says shakily.
"Yes you can. Don't worry. I've got you." I hold her hand tightly, reassuring her.
She sighs and leans towards the branch and quickly leans back. "No, I can't!"
I can hear in her voice that she's scared. Perhaps this wasn't a good idea. I let her hold the trunk and I jump down to the lower branch. I turn and hold out my hand for her. "Come on. I won't let you fall."
She reaches out her hand and grips mine. She hesitantly jumps over to me. I take her in my arms, hugging her gently. "It's alright. You made it."
We continue the pattern a few more times, each time she gets braver and braver. We finally reach the lowest branch and I jump down. I turn and hold out both hands for her. She jumps into my arms. I hold her tightly, smiling. I can tell she's smiling too.
I release my embrace and take her hand. I lead her back through the door and down the hall.
As we enter the residential quarters, I can almost feel her going down in rank. Her smile is gone, her hair seems to be duller, the sparkle in her eyes is gone.
She stops a few feet in from the door. "I can get back from here. You don't have to escort me anymore. Thank you for a wonderful lunch and afternoon."
I stand, not quite knowing what to say. She was nearly shuning my away, but I think I can hear a hesitance in her voice. "Do you mind if I walk the rest of the way with you?"
"You want to?" she asks, a hint of disbelief in her voice.
I smile lightly. "If you don't mind."
She smiles back. "Not at all."
We continue walking. She smiles lightly, but I watch as it fades. I can tell by her face that she's happy, but I can also tell she's uncomfortable.
As we reach her room she stops. I stop as well, reluctantly letting go of her hand.
As she draws a breath to speak, I quickly think of a way to continue this wonderful day that I so desperatly don't want to end. "Can I see your room?"
The question obviously startles her. She looks at me, wondering if I meant what I said. "Uh.... I guess. If you want."
"I would like very much to see your room."
She smiles lightly and opens the door. I walk in behind her, standing only a step in front of the door. She walks into her room and places my jacket that she carried all day on the back of the chair at her desk.
I look around her room. The first thing I see is her bed. It's a beautiful bed with a canopy on top. The sheets and canopy are a beautiful pink hue. The sheets are nicely placed in the bed, with not a wrinkle. She must have made her bed this morning. Much unlike my messy bed with the comforter falling off the end and the pillows shoved up against the headboard.
I glance over at her desk. It too is very neat and tidy. A few papers are placed on it. I can also see a small book. Looking closer it appears to be a diary. I wonder if there is any mention of me.
I look at the lovely purple lamp on the desk. It was a nice make, though I could tell by the bulb that it must make the room very warm when in use.
I glance over and see the door to her closet. Closed. Next to her closet is a tall dresser, no doubt where she keeps her clothes.
I then see another dresser, only this one is long. There is a mirror on the back of it. A few peices of paper stick out the edges. I take a step forewards to look at them. One is a poem. I lean forewards to read it.
Want. To desire greatly.
What is it that I want?
His touch? His kiss?
His heart? His love?
If only I could tell.
Need. A lack of something nessicary.
Do I need him?
His kindness? His words?
His beautiful golden eyes that seem to melt my very soul?
Passion. Powerful feeling.
Do I feel this passion?
Do I want to feel it?
Do I need to have it?
My heart won't decide.
Heart. An organ of life.
Is this organ ruining my life?
Do I need to feel this pain?
Pain. Physical or mental suffering.
Must this pain haunt me?
Must it make me stay up all night thinking about him?
Love. Intesnse affection.
Do I hold love in my heart?
What is love? A feeling?
Perhaps.
A want, a need, a passion?
Possibly.
Is it worth having if it causes such pain?
Yes.
I need this love.
The want.
The need.
The passion.
I need him.
Karu quickly pulled me away once she realized I was reading the poem. "What?" I asked. "Can I not read it?"
I can see her cheeks trying to decide whether to pale or blush. "It.... it's not meant to be read."
She grabs the peice of paper and shoves it in the drawer of her desk. It was such a beauitful poem though.
"Did you write that?"
"Yes," she says, looking down at her desk.
"It was beautiful."
"T-Thank you."
"Do you write a lot of poetry?"
She nods.
"Will you show me some more?"
She turns and looks at me. "You want to read more?"
"Yes. That was quite beautiful. Might I ask when you wrote it?"
"Um.... l-last night," she says while looking back down at her desk.
She wrote a poem about love last night? After our evening? Did that mean...? Perhaps it had been me she as writing about? The poem did say that the man had golden eyes. My eyes are quite a lovely shade of hazelnut.
"Can I see some more?"
She nods hesitantly and walks to her closet. I watch as she pulls out a few notebooks. She hands me one of the books a bit reluctantly. I smile and take the book. I walk to her bed and sit on the end, looking at the book in my hand.
On the cover was a picture of a person and a heart. The heart was broken and the person was on their knees praying. By the long braid I assumed the person was feminine, although I could be wrong.
I look up as Karu sits next to me. I smile. She smiles lightly back, glancing down at the book. I open the cover and look at the inside. Her name was written inside the cover. But no last name. Interesting.
I turn the page and look at the first poem. Another poem about love. But this is about a mother's love. The poem is about a mother who has departed, but still watches her daughter.
Does Karu write about her own experiences? I assume that she was quite attached to her mother. And by what I can see, she thinks very often of her mother.
"Will you tell me about her someday?" I ask Karu.
She looks at me a bit confused. It appears that she has a small clue as to who I'm talking about. "My mother?"
"Yes. I'd like to know about her sometime."
She hesitates. "Perhaps. Sometime. Not today."
I nod, agreeing. It is probably hard for her to talk about her mother. I accept that.
"Would you mind if I took this with me tonight and read your poems? I don't want to impose by staying here all night, but I'd like to read them."
"I...." I can see her debating. Not that I wouldn't mind staying all night, but I would not want her to think I'm trying to get into her bed or anything. "I don't know."
"That's alright. I understand." I stand. It feels like she wants me out. She looks up at me. I smile and hand her the book. She takes it, but I think she's confused. I take a few steps towards the door. "I suppose I shall be going now."
"You..... you can stay, if you want to read them."
I smile, stopping before I reach the door. "Are you sure you wouldn't mind?"
She shakes her head. "No. I'd like the company."
I smile and walk back over to her. She stands and hands me the book again. I take the book and look around. I didn't want to sit on her bed. She might get the wrong impression. I look over at the desk. "May I sit there and read?"
She looks over and nods. "Let me just get the junk off the desk."
"It's alright. You don't have to."
I walk to the desk with her and watch her lift all the stuff and place it on the floor next to the desk. She then grabs her diary, I notice. So that's it. She didn't want me messing with that. Understandable, though I would never do such a thing.
I smile and sit down. I watch as she takes the diary back to her bed. She climbs in the large bed and sits against the headboard. She opens her diary and takes out a pen. She was going to write.
I smile and look at the book. I open it again and begin reading. The poems are all so good. They are so intelligent, and they appear to be straight from the heart.
* * *
I don't know when she fell asleep, but I looked over at her once and her eyes were closed and she was laying curled up on her side. I smile sleepily and yawn. I'm getting tired myself. Perhaps I should go.
But I want to stay. She looks so beautiful sleeping there. She's sleeping while I'm in her room, reading her poetry. I could easily walk over there and lay next to her.
I yawn again, resting my head on the desk, my arms propping it up. I watch her for a few moments, being hypnotized by the rise and fall of her chest as she breathes.
My eyes slowly close. I know I'm tired. I'll just rest my eyes for a moment and leave.