Tod laughed uncertainly. "Yeah, I guess we do."
"By the way, the name's Anton," The barman told him.
"Yeah. I'm Carter," Tod replied, a sly smirk spreading across his face. "Carter Horton."
"You finished with that scotch yet Carter?" Anton asked, eyeing the untouched glass of alcohol.
"Er...Yeah, what the hell. I'll have a beer or something," Tod answered.
Just at that moment Alex re-appeared looking stupid as always.
"Hey, Cletus, where'd you go to?" Anton asked. Alex looked behind him, forgetting what he'd just been saying.
"Who? Me?"
"Well who else would I be talking to?"
"Oh, yeah.....Right."
"So the scotch didn't meet up to your expectations eh boys?"
"You could say that," Alex replied, his voice stil croaky.
"Carter here's getting a beer," Anton informed Alex. Immediately, Alex spun round and scanned the bar anxiously. He had decided he had had one too many run-ins with Carter in th past week than was necessary, what with the hosepipe and the switchblade and all that.
"C-Carter?" Alex stuttered, his pupils dilating. If Carter really was here, he was gonna get his ass kicked for sure. No, in fact, it was an absolute certainty. Anton gave him a strange look.
"Have you been to a couple of bars already Cletus?"
"W-what? No," Alex dismissed it, shaking his head vigorously.
"Carter? Your friend? Sitting next to you?"
"W-what the-."
"Yeah, Al- I mean, Cletus," Tod butted in suddenly. "He's talking about me. I'm Carter, remember?"
Alex stared blankly for a moment, then nodded faintly as he began to catch on. He breathed a sigh of relief.
"Poor guy," Anton sympathised. "He's losing his marbles."
"Thanks," Alex replied weakly. Even under a different identity he was insane.
"You'll be okay buddy," Tod told him reassuringly. "Everything'll sort itself out."
Anton smiled sympathetically and gave them a beer each.
Authors Note: Hmmmmmmm, it's been a while hasn't it? Well, I was told by a few people that the author's notes were good, so I'll keep doing it. Getting a few tie-ins from Idle Hands now aren't we? Why do I always do that? Mind you, my mate Claire came over to my house today and we had to watch the bit where Anton throws his cat out the window about five times. We just kept rewinding it and laughing our heads off............Okay then. I suppose that explains the barman's name. Oh whatever. If you're reading this, you probably haven't even seen Idle hands anyway, but so what? I'm a real sad git so It doens't really bother me how cheesy horror movies can become. I mean, the bit where he cuts his own hand off with a butchers knife and puts it in the microwave is going a bit too far really isn't it? Especially as he stands by the microwave shouting, "Fry!!". Hmmmmmmmm. Back to the story now shall we?
But before we do, let's have a little debate. Who thinks, that Billy is actually gonna get some action? Come on, seriously, what's going on? Am I actually gonna let him hook up with Clear in this story or am I going to deliberately spoil it again? I suppose you'll only know it you read on................
"Billy, wait," Clear said suddenly, pushing him away from her. Annoyed, Billy sighed and got up.
"I don't know whether I wanna be doing this."
"Doing what?" Billy replied, rolling his eyes.
"If we hook up tonight, tomorrow I'll just be some girl you'll be telling all your friends about," Clear explained. Hmmm, wonder where I copied those words off? If anyone can tell me, I'll give you a big bag of sweeties!
"What friends?"
"Oh come on Billy, you have friends," Clear persisted.
"Sometimes I'm not sure I do," he replied. "I mean, I thought Tod and Alex liked me, but-." He paused, noticing Clear's expression. "What is it Clear?"
"Oh Billy, I've been stupid leading you on like this," Clear said sadly.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!! I'm maliciously spoiling his chances and I love it!
"What?!"
"I don't know how to tell you this, but-."
Billy didn't let her finish. He took the risk and took Clear by surprise and kissed her.
"I've always wanted to do that," he told her. "Even if you have a thing for Alex, It doesn't matter," Billy explained. Clear's expression softened.
"Aww, really?"
"Yeah. I just didn't wanna go through my life never having done that."
"Listen Billy, I'd love you to stay tonight, but I'd just be using you," Clear said after a long silence.
"So what? It wouldn't make any difference to me."
"It's just that, I've always liked Alex."
"Well why the hell didn't you ever talk to him?"
Clear shrugged, beginning to wonder that herself.
"I dunno. I guess I just thought he'd think I was some kind of a freak."
Billy laughed to himself.
"Oh, how the tables have turned," he scoffed. "It's Alex that's seen as a freak now sweetie."
"Don't be mean Billy," Clear snapped suddenly.
"What I'm trying to say, is that, right now, Alex needs some cheering up. He's totally screwed. I'm telling you, if someone doesn't make him feel wanted soon he's probably gonna try and kill himself," Billy concluded, never turning his gaze away from Clear's face.
"Thanks for that," Clear answered sarcastically. "So, what should I do?"
"Call him," Billy said quickly, without hesitation. "He likes you."
"You don't know that."
"Alex is a tortued soul Clear. He's got the whole 'Dark and Mysterious Psychic Superhero' thing going. He wants a bit of attention."
"Why are you telling me all this?" Clear asked, slightly confused.
"Cos I'm an idiot who likes to spoil his own chances of getting off with girls like you," Billy explained honestly. "Just forget everything that happened tonight. You can't know I feel like this about you, it'd just spoil the whole movie."
"Yeah," Clear agreed. "It'll be real awkward when you drag me off down the embankment by the railway track otherwise."
"Yeah, but I can still secretly be enjoying it can't I?" Billy replied jokily.
"I suppose," Clear answered awkwardly. "Look, Billy, this is getting kinda weird now. I think it would be best if you-."
"If I go? Sure baby, it's nothing new to me to be jerked around," Billy replied in a voice that made Clear feel even more uneasy than she already felt. He walked over to the door and strolled out, making out he didn't give a toss.
Anton's Bar- A Few Beers Later......
"So, I said," Alex began, the beer bottle sloshing around in his hand. "Get out, and stay out, you lazy no good bitch!"
"And she let you call her that?" Anton asked, intrigued.
"My Mum's a pretty cool chick," Alex explained, his voice slurring.
"Cool," Anton commented. "Tell me another story about Brandine."
Alex looked confused.
"Brandine? Brandine? Oh yeah, Brandine. My chick, right?"
"That would be the Brandine I was talking about, yes."
"Er........She er....One time she......Um.....She threw an empty bottle of tequila at my head and busted me open," Alex lied, making it up as he went along. "It hurt. I lay there for a week before anyone helped me."
"Ooooh, sounds harsh. Tell me Cletus, does your chick slap you about a lot?"
"Oh, yeah, sure."
"You should do something about that," Anton told him, staring at Alex. Alex smirked and took another drink of what must have been his sixth bottle.
"What, you mean, like, get out a sledgehammer on her or something? Electric carving knife? Threaten her with a table raised above my head? That kind of thing?"
"I was thinking more along the lines of a therapist or something," Anton replied.
"Oh, right."
"Hey, Alex, you went to a therapist today didn't you?" Tod asked, forgetting to call his friend 'Cletus'.
"Alex?" Anton repeated, confused.
"Er....Did I say Alex? Oh, sorry Cletus. I must have been thinking about that other person.......I know........Called Alex, you know what I mean, right Cletus?" Tod struggled to get out of a sticky situation.
"Er.......Sure, right," Alex replied uncertainly. "That guy."
"The really dorky one who sits at his computer and gets bricks thrown through his window and who everybody hates and calls him names and he wears girls clothes when he gets home and-."
Tod stopped to see Alex glaring angrilly at him. He saw this as the right time to stop talking.
"Yes, well, anyway," Alex began still staring evilly at his so-called best friend. "You really think I should go see a therapist or something? Aren't they all cranks?"
"Yeah," Anton replied honestly. "But I just thought I'd try to give you some advice."
"I was thinking of setting up a vigilante group actually," Alex answered in a serious voice, even though he wasn't pronouncing his words properly due to the alcohol.
Author's note: Don't I love people getting drunk in my stories?
"Really?" Anton replied not really sure what to make of the statement.
"Yeah. It might rattle a few cages, stir up some controversy, you know?"
"Not really," Anton sighed. "Look, Cletus, Carter, I don't really wanna pry but are you guys really over twenty one?"
"I keep telling you, yes!" Tod yelled, losing control of the volume of his voice.
"You don't look it," Anton told them, questioning what these two drunken idiots were up to.
"Thanks," Alex replied, deciding to interpret it as a compliment.
"Can I see some indentification please?"
"Oh Man!" Tod cried out. "I thought we were friends!"