Author's note: This is to Starsnake, Nya, and Sandrock, who read and reviewed the first parts of this. I appreciate you responses. Thank you for suffering through my mumblings without complaint. This is part five, with a bit more angst, a lot of drama, tons of cussing and bad words. A drop of sap, not much, and a pissed off redhead. Violence.
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Warning: Some gay-bashing. Okay, I get really vulgar with it, I'm sorry. Just skip over the whole dinner conversation, and start back in where Dai yells 'You bastard!" Yaoi, shounen-ai, and angst. Comments do not reflect the beliefs of the author. I have nothing against anybody, except the idiots who can't comprehend the phrase 'live and let live'.
__________________
Author: Rae (penname)
Title: Undecided
Content: Yaoi, gay-bashing (sorry, but it does happen)
Daisuke shut the door to his apartment quietly behind him, but it was still heard by his parents, seated in the living room. "Davis."
He walked in and stood in the doorway, looking at them with expressionless eyes, and a frown. "Yes, father?" His father was sitting on a chair, facing the television, and Daisuke. Jun and his mother sat on the couch. They looked back and forth between both males anxiously, not wanting a repeat of the night before.
His father's voice was cold, no hint of the earlier tears. "I hope you're satisfied. Your little friends should believe that everything's fine within the next couple of days. I'll keep up my end of the bargain, if you keep up yours."
"Of course, sir." He had threatened to call Child Services (a/n: I don't know if they have them in Japan, but if they don't, they do in this). He kept silent, as long as his father didn't touch him again. They would ignore each other as usual, Dai would repay the money he had stolen, and they'd stay out of each other's lives. Nothing changed. "Good night. Please excuse me from dinner."
They didn't care whether he ate or not, they just went back to watching the T.V. Jun looked at him as he turned away. He missed the pain in her eyes, and her wince when his door shut with a silent click. "Excuse me, please, father?" He glanced at her, but shrugged. Her mother patted her arm. "I'll see you when supper is ready, mother."
She went down the hallway, and stopped in front of his door, peeking over her shoulder to make sure her father didn't see her. She had always been their favorite, and she knew that she had made Dai's life as hard to bear as they had. She also knew that if her father thought that she was on Dai's side, she'd be in trouble.
Without knocking, she pushed open the door, and walked into his room. He was sitting in the chair he had occupied earlier, his eyes on the far wall. She shut the door softly behind her. He glanced at her, his eyes watery. "Hey, Dai." She whispered.
"Jun." His voice was equally low. There was no welcome in his voice, nothing to show that he cared that she was there. They looked at each other, their eyes equally moist.
"I'm sorry." It came out on a sob. "I never meant for it to be this way. I'm sorry that I've never been there for you. That I've forgotten more times than not that you're human, too. I'm sorry that I took advantage of their attitude to pretend that you didn't exist, that you didn't matter."
She broke down into tears as he watched her in stunned silence. He slowly stood up and walked to her. After a moment's hesitation, he put his arms around her and hugged her. She cried into his shoulders, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing with all her might. Their ages seemed to reverse as she poured out her tears in his arms. He was the older, the one meant to comfort, though that was a position that she'd never held.
"It's okay." He was surprised to realize that he meant it. "I understand, Jun. It's okay, it'll all work out." He rubbed her back, as he lead her to his bed, and they sat on the edge of it. She continued to cry, and he rocked her back and forth like a child, though at eighteen, she had passed that stage a while ago.
A while later, when her tears subsided, she pulled back, and rubbed at her face with her hands. She offered him a watery smile, sniffling. He smiled gently at her, and handed her a kleenex. He kept a box under his bed. Just in case.
"Thank you. I don't deserve to be forgiven. No wonder you hate me." He shook his head in denial. "Okay, hated me. I've been so mean to you, always."
"He rubbed her back. "This doesn't really change anything, Jun. If you're suddenly nice to me, he'll get mad, and then you'll be on the recieving end of his temper. Just go back to the way things were. I understand, and knowing that your heart isn't in it will help."
"Thanks, again, Dai. I better go to my room. Mom will be in soon to announce dinner. I'll bring you something, in a little bit. I don't want you to starve, or get sick."
"All right." He walked to the door, and cracked it open. The hallway was empty, and he could hear his mother and father talking in the living room. He waved her past him, and she had no sooner shut her door, when their mother entered the hallway. She ignored Daisuke, and knocked on Jun's door. The reply was muffled, but affirmative. Dai shut his door.
He looked around, and picked up a small white bottle off the floor. It was the eye moisturizer that Ken had used earlier. He set it on the desk, and paused. Something was wrong, out of place. It took him a moment to realize that his radio was missing. He took a deep breath, praying for patience, not wanting to stomp out there to be hit again.
It didn't work.
He swung his door open with enough force to send it crashing into the wall, knocking several picture frames down in his room, and the hallway. He marched into the kitchen, his sock-covered feet silent on the carpet. His family, *what a laugh* was seated around the table. In slow, measured tones, he addressed his father. "Where. is. my. radio."
There was a hush around the room, three pairs of eyes looking at him. One coldly, two with practiced disinterest. "Somebody left it on. That kind of irresponsibility is what leads to all kinds of trouble. So I took care of it."
"Where. is. my. radio." He was breathing heavy, the air stifling in his lungs. His father continued to regard him with the frosty patience of one who must deal with all kinds of unpleasant things.
"It's gone. In the trash." There was a sort of twisted amusement behind the words. Dai glared at him, wanting to shred him limb from limb, wishing that Veemon was there to do it for him.
He blinked once, slowly, and then looked at his father with a calm expression. "You have never wanted me. You have ignored me since before I was old enough to be on my own, without supervision. You pretend that I don't exist, that I'm just a stranger who happens to live here. I've understood that you never wanted me. What I'm at a loss to explain is the fact that you didn't have an abortion, that you didn't give me away, that you haven't sent me off to a boarding school, someplace as far from you as possible."
His mother and sister were eating, their eyes trained on their food. His father was regarding him like an insect on his windsheild. "Because that would dishonor our family name. All the Motomiya have born healthy children, children who graduate from Obaida High, and go on to the corporate world."
Dai smirked at him. "Then I guess the fates must be laughing now, because you got stuck with me."
His father snarled at him, his knuckles turning white on the silverware in his hands. "Yes, we got you. A worthless, pathetic, retarded fag. We should have used better protection, but shit happens. And that's all you are. Worthless shit, who likes it so much, he's going to go butt-fuck another boy, just to get more. You fucking fudge-packer! You're disgusting, do you know that?"
His son just looked at him wordlessly. "Yeah, you stand there all mad, but what are you going to do, fag? Go jack-off to one of your little sports mangas? That's probably why you play sports, so you can fantasize about the guys on your team. And your little friend Ken! How many times have you dreamt about him? Are is he a sick fuck, too. Does he..."
"You bastard!" In a flash, he was across the room. His father wasn't fast enough, and wasn't expecting the attack. In the time it took to register that Dai had moved, he was lying flat on his back, his chair overturned nearby, with a knife pressed to his throat. The female half of the Motomiya family was crying across the room, scared and uncertain about what was happening.
There was food all over the floor, where Dai had leaped across the table to get to his father. He was straddling the other man, his eyes dark, angry, and full of hate. The hand that held the knife was steady, unnervingly so.
"You bastard." He said it in a calmer tone, but with an undercurrent of pain and repressed emotion. "You have no idea, none at all, of what you're talking about. I've grown use to being your punching bag, both physically and emotionally, all of my life. But if you ever, ever, say anything about or to Ken, you and I will do more than match words. He is so beyond you, that you haven't the right to think his name, let alone slander it."
The hand not holding the knife was curled in his father's hair, and he took a moment to grip it tighter, causing his father to wince. "We're going to get this straight, right now. My life is mine. Yours is yours. You don't touch me, my stuff, or my friends. When they are here, you will go about your business, but you will not ignore them. If they ask you a question, you will answer it. I don't expect you to be friendly, but you will not make them feel unwelcome."
He loosened his hand, letting his father's head sink back into a more comfortable position, but keeping the blade pressed closed against his neck. "I won't force you to endure my company at the table, or anywhere else. My room will stay my room. The stuff in it stays. I -will- get my radio back. Phone calls will be posted on my door, and brought to my attention. My mail will remain on the table until I retrieve it. I will eat the food in this house, same as always, but not with you."
He stood up, and backed away, tossing the knife to sit harmlessly on the table. Without another word, he left, returning to his room, and shutting the door with less force than before.
For the rest of the evening, he laid on his bed, watching the outside lights flicker over the ceiling long after he had shut off his light. Jun didn't return as she had said she would, but he wasn't surprised. He doubted anyone in his family was wanting to see him at that point. But nobody arrived to arrest him, or take him away, and he didn't hear from his father again, so he counted himself lucky. He wouldn't have to deal with him for another day, at least.
He didn't cry, not a single tear. Chibimon had crawled under the bed earlier, and had fallen asleep. When Dai came back from the kitchen, he curled up next to his partner, not speaking, for once, but letting his company be comfort enough. He didn't know what to say, anyways. Somethings went beyond words, even for the chatterbox.
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Warning: Some gay-bashing. Okay, I get really vulgar with it, I'm sorry. Just skip over the whole dinner conversation, and start back in where Dai yells 'You bastard!" Yaoi, shounen-ai, and angst. Comments do not reflect the beliefs of the author. I have nothing against anybody, except the idiots who can't comprehend the phrase 'live and let live'.
__________________
Author: Rae (penname)
Title: Undecided
Content: Yaoi, gay-bashing (sorry, but it does happen)
Daisuke shut the door to his apartment quietly behind him, but it was still heard by his parents, seated in the living room. "Davis."
He walked in and stood in the doorway, looking at them with expressionless eyes, and a frown. "Yes, father?" His father was sitting on a chair, facing the television, and Daisuke. Jun and his mother sat on the couch. They looked back and forth between both males anxiously, not wanting a repeat of the night before.
His father's voice was cold, no hint of the earlier tears. "I hope you're satisfied. Your little friends should believe that everything's fine within the next couple of days. I'll keep up my end of the bargain, if you keep up yours."
"Of course, sir." He had threatened to call Child Services (a/n: I don't know if they have them in Japan, but if they don't, they do in this). He kept silent, as long as his father didn't touch him again. They would ignore each other as usual, Dai would repay the money he had stolen, and they'd stay out of each other's lives. Nothing changed. "Good night. Please excuse me from dinner."
They didn't care whether he ate or not, they just went back to watching the T.V. Jun looked at him as he turned away. He missed the pain in her eyes, and her wince when his door shut with a silent click. "Excuse me, please, father?" He glanced at her, but shrugged. Her mother patted her arm. "I'll see you when supper is ready, mother."
She went down the hallway, and stopped in front of his door, peeking over her shoulder to make sure her father didn't see her. She had always been their favorite, and she knew that she had made Dai's life as hard to bear as they had. She also knew that if her father thought that she was on Dai's side, she'd be in trouble.
Without knocking, she pushed open the door, and walked into his room. He was sitting in the chair he had occupied earlier, his eyes on the far wall. She shut the door softly behind her. He glanced at her, his eyes watery. "Hey, Dai." She whispered.
"Jun." His voice was equally low. There was no welcome in his voice, nothing to show that he cared that she was there. They looked at each other, their eyes equally moist.
"I'm sorry." It came out on a sob. "I never meant for it to be this way. I'm sorry that I've never been there for you. That I've forgotten more times than not that you're human, too. I'm sorry that I took advantage of their attitude to pretend that you didn't exist, that you didn't matter."
She broke down into tears as he watched her in stunned silence. He slowly stood up and walked to her. After a moment's hesitation, he put his arms around her and hugged her. She cried into his shoulders, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing with all her might. Their ages seemed to reverse as she poured out her tears in his arms. He was the older, the one meant to comfort, though that was a position that she'd never held.
"It's okay." He was surprised to realize that he meant it. "I understand, Jun. It's okay, it'll all work out." He rubbed her back, as he lead her to his bed, and they sat on the edge of it. She continued to cry, and he rocked her back and forth like a child, though at eighteen, she had passed that stage a while ago.
A while later, when her tears subsided, she pulled back, and rubbed at her face with her hands. She offered him a watery smile, sniffling. He smiled gently at her, and handed her a kleenex. He kept a box under his bed. Just in case.
"Thank you. I don't deserve to be forgiven. No wonder you hate me." He shook his head in denial. "Okay, hated me. I've been so mean to you, always."
"He rubbed her back. "This doesn't really change anything, Jun. If you're suddenly nice to me, he'll get mad, and then you'll be on the recieving end of his temper. Just go back to the way things were. I understand, and knowing that your heart isn't in it will help."
"Thanks, again, Dai. I better go to my room. Mom will be in soon to announce dinner. I'll bring you something, in a little bit. I don't want you to starve, or get sick."
"All right." He walked to the door, and cracked it open. The hallway was empty, and he could hear his mother and father talking in the living room. He waved her past him, and she had no sooner shut her door, when their mother entered the hallway. She ignored Daisuke, and knocked on Jun's door. The reply was muffled, but affirmative. Dai shut his door.
He looked around, and picked up a small white bottle off the floor. It was the eye moisturizer that Ken had used earlier. He set it on the desk, and paused. Something was wrong, out of place. It took him a moment to realize that his radio was missing. He took a deep breath, praying for patience, not wanting to stomp out there to be hit again.
It didn't work.
He swung his door open with enough force to send it crashing into the wall, knocking several picture frames down in his room, and the hallway. He marched into the kitchen, his sock-covered feet silent on the carpet. His family, *what a laugh* was seated around the table. In slow, measured tones, he addressed his father. "Where. is. my. radio."
There was a hush around the room, three pairs of eyes looking at him. One coldly, two with practiced disinterest. "Somebody left it on. That kind of irresponsibility is what leads to all kinds of trouble. So I took care of it."
"Where. is. my. radio." He was breathing heavy, the air stifling in his lungs. His father continued to regard him with the frosty patience of one who must deal with all kinds of unpleasant things.
"It's gone. In the trash." There was a sort of twisted amusement behind the words. Dai glared at him, wanting to shred him limb from limb, wishing that Veemon was there to do it for him.
He blinked once, slowly, and then looked at his father with a calm expression. "You have never wanted me. You have ignored me since before I was old enough to be on my own, without supervision. You pretend that I don't exist, that I'm just a stranger who happens to live here. I've understood that you never wanted me. What I'm at a loss to explain is the fact that you didn't have an abortion, that you didn't give me away, that you haven't sent me off to a boarding school, someplace as far from you as possible."
His mother and sister were eating, their eyes trained on their food. His father was regarding him like an insect on his windsheild. "Because that would dishonor our family name. All the Motomiya have born healthy children, children who graduate from Obaida High, and go on to the corporate world."
Dai smirked at him. "Then I guess the fates must be laughing now, because you got stuck with me."
His father snarled at him, his knuckles turning white on the silverware in his hands. "Yes, we got you. A worthless, pathetic, retarded fag. We should have used better protection, but shit happens. And that's all you are. Worthless shit, who likes it so much, he's going to go butt-fuck another boy, just to get more. You fucking fudge-packer! You're disgusting, do you know that?"
His son just looked at him wordlessly. "Yeah, you stand there all mad, but what are you going to do, fag? Go jack-off to one of your little sports mangas? That's probably why you play sports, so you can fantasize about the guys on your team. And your little friend Ken! How many times have you dreamt about him? Are is he a sick fuck, too. Does he..."
"You bastard!" In a flash, he was across the room. His father wasn't fast enough, and wasn't expecting the attack. In the time it took to register that Dai had moved, he was lying flat on his back, his chair overturned nearby, with a knife pressed to his throat. The female half of the Motomiya family was crying across the room, scared and uncertain about what was happening.
There was food all over the floor, where Dai had leaped across the table to get to his father. He was straddling the other man, his eyes dark, angry, and full of hate. The hand that held the knife was steady, unnervingly so.
"You bastard." He said it in a calmer tone, but with an undercurrent of pain and repressed emotion. "You have no idea, none at all, of what you're talking about. I've grown use to being your punching bag, both physically and emotionally, all of my life. But if you ever, ever, say anything about or to Ken, you and I will do more than match words. He is so beyond you, that you haven't the right to think his name, let alone slander it."
The hand not holding the knife was curled in his father's hair, and he took a moment to grip it tighter, causing his father to wince. "We're going to get this straight, right now. My life is mine. Yours is yours. You don't touch me, my stuff, or my friends. When they are here, you will go about your business, but you will not ignore them. If they ask you a question, you will answer it. I don't expect you to be friendly, but you will not make them feel unwelcome."
He loosened his hand, letting his father's head sink back into a more comfortable position, but keeping the blade pressed closed against his neck. "I won't force you to endure my company at the table, or anywhere else. My room will stay my room. The stuff in it stays. I -will- get my radio back. Phone calls will be posted on my door, and brought to my attention. My mail will remain on the table until I retrieve it. I will eat the food in this house, same as always, but not with you."
He stood up, and backed away, tossing the knife to sit harmlessly on the table. Without another word, he left, returning to his room, and shutting the door with less force than before.
For the rest of the evening, he laid on his bed, watching the outside lights flicker over the ceiling long after he had shut off his light. Jun didn't return as she had said she would, but he wasn't surprised. He doubted anyone in his family was wanting to see him at that point. But nobody arrived to arrest him, or take him away, and he didn't hear from his father again, so he counted himself lucky. He wouldn't have to deal with him for another day, at least.
He didn't cry, not a single tear. Chibimon had crawled under the bed earlier, and had fallen asleep. When Dai came back from the kitchen, he curled up next to his partner, not speaking, for once, but letting his company be comfort enough. He didn't know what to say, anyways. Somethings went beyond words, even for the chatterbox.