Dragon Ball: Makafushigi Adventure
By Reid M. Haynes
Disclaimer: Dragon Ball and all characters within are the property of Akira Toriyama, TOEI ANIMATION, and various other companies. I am using them without permission, and I am making no money off of them.
Tale 4: Kakarrot the Carrot, Part 1
*****
The late afternoon sun beat down on the parched desert as the Dragon Ball Gang took to the open road in their Capsule Car, ready for the upcoming adventures.
Goku rested silently on the bed of the truck, snoring loudly into the desert air. Yamcha as well was asleep. The shapeshfiters occupied themselves in their own way, playing a game of cards. And Trunks, riding shotgun, contemplated his own strange thoughts in his head.
I don't get it. he pondered, words entered his head rapidly. Mother and Goku are acting so differently than usual. They're so carefree, like they're still kids.
Maybe that's where I should start… "Hey Mom," he asked.
"What is it Trunks?" Bulma said while driving.
"Can you…" Trunks swallowed, gathering up his nerve. "Can you…tell me about your childhood?" he got out finally.
"Well sure!" She let out a big smile. "What do you want to know?"
"Well…I was wondering about the Dragon Ball Hunt," he asked tentatively. "I haven't really heard much about it."
"Hmm…" Bulma paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts and memories. "Man I haven't thought about this in years!" she said thoughtfully, putting her hand to her chin. "Well I'll do my best," she resolved firmly.
"I guess it all started when I was 16," she began. "When rummaging through the basement one day, I found a strange orb. I didn't think much of it at the time, it just looked like another strange bauble of Dad's."
"After doing some research, however, I eventually discovered that this was a Dragon Ball, and it had the ability to grant any wish upon collecting its six counterparts. Well, you can imagine my haste in getting my wish granted."
"Which was…" Trunk's prompted.
"A boyfriend," She blushed at this, and Trunks laughed briefly.
"Anyway, as soon as summer vacation started, I hopped into my car and headed to the East, where the remaining six were located. So I was cruising along…then BAMM!!!" Bulma made a brief motion with her hands. "I run into this little kid dragging a giant fish! For a second, I thought he was dead. But then, the kid jumped up, grabbed the car, and chunked it three meters into the ground!"
"This kid, was he…"
"Goku?" she glanced at him briefly. "Yup, that was him alright. And boy, was he mad! I was afraid he was gonna bash me with that pole of his!"
"…" Trunk's gaped at her for a moment, but motioned for her to continue.
"After some confusion, I managed to convince him to join my cause. He wanted to see the Dragon, and I needed a good bodyguard."
"So we headed off to get the other balls. And I tell you one thing, that runt was the most naive person you could ever meet. He didn't know anything about the outside world, or how people act, or anything! Heck, he didn't even know that you were supposed to take bathes in private!"
"Whoa…" Trunks raised his shoulders in shock.
"Yeah," she rolled her eyes upward. "Embarrassment city."
They stalled for a minute more as Bulma took a look at the map.
"But…" She looked back up. "While he was the most dense boy you could meet, he was also the most pure-hearted." Her eyes took a distant look. "Selfish thoughts never seems to enter his head, and he'd never hold a grudge against anyone. He always knew how to brighten anyone's day…"
"Who brightens up anyone's day?" Trunks looked back to see Goku, wide awake and grinning like an idiot.
"Goku! I thought you were asleep!" Bulma gasped, blushing a bit.
"Nice story," he stretched out for a second. "Tho' I think you got somethin' wrong."
"Huh?" Both Bulma and Trunks looked at him curiously.
"You said you were gonna with for a lifetime supply of strawberries 'fore you wanted a boyfriend," he pointed out.
"I can't believe you remember that!" she exclaimed, and Goku grinned at her.
"I remember lot's o' things," Goku told her smugly. "Like when you gave that Swee-Trot to Oolong, and we kept whistling and making him go every five minutes."
"Yeah!" Bulma said, smiling back at him. "And the time you were all dressed in drag to attract that monster,"
"And how about the time we first met Master Roshi, and he said he'd give you the Dragon Ball if you'd show him your…" His words were cut off by Bulma's hand, covering his mouth firmly.
"Uh…let's not tell little Trunks 'that' story, 'kay?" Bulma whispered, glaring daggers at him.
Goku sweated. "Uh…'kay." he said nervously.
Trunks sweated as well.
*****
Two hours later, the truck reached a small town on the outskirts of the riverbank.
Like many such towns, it seemed composed entirely of the igloo-like structures that were characteristic of the area. Dirt roads connected the township's buildings, and simple wood signs spoke store names. The people were simplistic as well, content running small shops and tending small farms and very grateful to be out of the confines of city life.
But, like all such towns, secrets were abound, and a Dragon Ball was near.
"Wake up, Yamcha," Bulma said, shaking him lightly. "We're here."
The young man staggered upright slowly. "Wh-wha…?" he gurgled, blinking his eyes groggily. "Waz goin' down?…"
"The next Dragon Ball's here, that's what!" she snapped impatiently at him, who continued to sag idly "Now get up!"
When Yamcha failed to respond, she fixed her arms under his armpits, lifting his bulk upwards." C'mon!" she grunted, heaving with the effort of her willpower.
But, like most dead weight, gravity remained supreme. "Ak!" she shrieked as Yamcha toppled into her, sending them both to the ground in a twisted heap.
Goku started laughing once again. "Need a little help with your luggage, Bulma?" he jibed lightly.
"Very funny," she growled, settling into an aggravated humph alongside the slumbering fighter.
Trunks stepped outside of the vehicle, stretching his body out ???. "So what's the plan?" he asked causally.
Well, according to the Radar, the Dragon Ball should be…" Bulma took a second look at it. "…one mile eastward! Let's go!" She turned to the shapeshifters. "Hurry up, guys," she called.
"Right after this hand," Oolong's face was contorted in concentration, contemplating his hand with fierce intention. After a moment more, he thrust the cards onto the table.
"Hah! Three Queens!" he cheered in triumph, raising his finger in the air. "Beat that, little kitty!"
Puar just sat there for a moment. Then, slowly, he revealed his hand, which consisted of four kings and a joker.
"Damn it!" he spat as Puar proudly gathered his winnings. "
"Actually, it doesn't surprise me at all," Bulma stated bluntly. "Your face reads like a book, Oolong."
"Ah, shaddap!" The pig snorted. "What do you know about poker anyway?"
"Lighten up!" Bulma reproached. She then reached into her pocket, and came up with a small tablet. "Here, have a Sweet-Tart," she offered, presenting him with the treat.
"Thanks a lot," Oolong snarled, snatching it from her hand. After he popped it in his mouth, he looked up and found that Bulma and Goku were giggling like crazy.
"What are you laughing at?" he demanded as the two continued chortling. "What the hell's so funny?"
"N-nothing!" she snorted, trying in vain to cover up her giggles.
"Yeah, nuthin'…!" Goku nodded, putting his hand over his mouth.
"Right," Trunks agreed, walking in step beside them.
Oolong his gaze shirting between the two of them. Then he shrugged in defeat, and followed the others.
"Yamcha, let's go!" Puar called to his friend.
"H...huh?" Yamcha lazily lifted his eyelids, then bolted upright upon seeing his group disappear into the distance. "Hey…HEY, WAIT UP!!!" Yamcha shouted as he took off after them.
*****
Unbeknownst to our heroes and heroine, a figure was seated on a building top, watching them closely. Through binocular glass, this mysterious watcher trained his eyes on this crew with keen interest.
"Yes, that's them, alright!" he chuckled to himself, gripping the binoculars tighter. "Finally, after all 'dese years, I've finally caught up with them!" He clenched his buckteeth in anticipation.
"Sir," Interrupting his thinking was the sound of his guard. "I've come to deliver my report!" How frustrating! he thought to himself. I must teach these bozos some respect!"
Boss Rabbit pushed himself up, and straightened out his Chinese robes. He then turned to his subordinates, adopting as dignified an expression as a giant bunny could portray.
"What's the dilly?" he inquired calmly, hands clasped behind him.
The short one stepped up, saluting smartly. "Sir, we have knowledge of a carrot shipment in the lower west quadrant," he reported sternly.
"The guards surrounding the premise are few," The taller of the two added. "If we strike now, we should be able to…"
"Drop it," Boss Rabbit said quietly.
"Huh?" The guards stepped back, shocked "Boss, what…?"
"I said drop it!" He hollered, raising his voice commandingly. "We's have bigger fish to fry!" He handed the tall guard the binoculars, who took them and slowly put them to his face.
When he made out the travelers, his mouth widened in surprise. "That's that little punk with the stick!" his gasped, his eyes goggling.
The short one snatched the binoculars and snarled at the image within. "And there's his little friends, too!" he growled in disgust.
"Yes,"
"So, what are we gonna do?" The taller henchman asked.
"What's we gonna do?" Boss Rabbit stared at his minion like he was an idiot. "I'll tell you what's we gonna do! We's gonna go down 'dere, see, and then we're gonna get our revenge for all those years on the moon!"
"But boss…"
"Listen up," The bunny waved him off, starting his pacing. "For twenty years we've been on the run, hidin' from coppers, storeowners, even common bums! Now's the time for action!"
"Yeah…"
"Now's the time that we crawl out of our rabbit hole and kick some ass!"
"Yeah!"
"We'll ice these suckers before they even know what hit them! And then, 'dis burg will fear the name "Rabbit Gang" once again!"
"YEAH!!!"
"Let's DO IT!" Boss Rabbit raised his fist in the air.
*****
"What the hell?" Trunk's was just passing the Capsule Corp branch when suddenly the group was peppered with machine gun fire. He pivoted his neck to get a look at his assailants, which were…strange men wearing bunny ears.
"It's the Rabbit Gang!" Oolong cowered, covering his head in his hands. "We're doomed!"
Of course. The Rabbit Gang. Mom sure has some weird friends.
"Oh damn, not these guys again," Yamcha muttered, letting out a low growl.
"Guess we'd better fight 'em," Goku spoke casually, drawing Nyoibo from the sheath. Yamcha followed suit, curling into the Wolf Fang fighting position.
Putting his confusion aside, Trunks drew his sword and began to deflect the bullet hail. With precision he manipulated the blade, knocking the slugs into alleys, pots, and other areas where they would do no harm.
Goku, as well, was catching bullets with his weapon. Nyoibo was spinning like a windmill, serving as a shield for the Saiyan warrior. Yamcha was restricted to defending barehanded, but was doing a decent job, in that no bullets had hit yet. The others were huddled together behind the fighters, trying not to get hit.
Then, one bullet broke through Yamcha's guard, and ripped through the side of his gi. "That's it," Yamcha gritted his teeth in anger, and rushed at the shorter one. His hands started to form into claws…
"SHIN ROUGAFUUFUUKEN!" …and he let loose with a barrage of slashes that tore through the soldier's uniform, finishing up with a kick that sent him into a brick wall, where he remained unmoving.
Trunks as well was moving in for the attack. Ducking under a round of fire, he rose up to slash his blade through the tall guard's gun barrel, rendering the weapon useless. He then smacked the hilt on the man's head, knocking him unconscious.
"Who sent you?" Trunks demanded, placing his sword back in the sheath.
"Boss Rabbit got a beef with you punks!" The short man told him. "He told us to rub you out!"
"Boss Rabbit?" Bulma's eyes widened in recognition. "You guys wouldn't happen to be the "Rabbit Gang," would you?"
"The one and only!" the man puffed up with pride. "And we're here to exact his revenge!"
"What he so mad about, anyway?" Goku asked.
"You put us on the moon, you idiot!" The tall guard hollered at him. "Don't you remember?!"
"Oh that!" Goku laughed lightly, kicking the machine gun aside. "Hey, that was a long time ago. Can't we just, you know, forgive and forget?"
For some reason, the short one found this amusing, "Sure, pal!" He snickered. "As soon as our boss comes and finishes you off, we'll forget!"
"Let him try!" Bulma taunted. "We beat you guys last time, and we can do it again!"
The tall man cracked a sinister smile. "Oh, but this time plans have changed!" he said snidely.
"Huh?" Goku rubbed his head, perplexed. "What's so different about this?"
"We've learned our lesson in who we get first." The short one told them, a similar smile pasted on his face. "Instead of getting the dame…"
"We's rubbin' you out first!" Boss Rabbit said, coming up behind Goku and inflicting the "carrot touch" on his spine.
*****
Son Goku was the most powerful fighter the universe has ever witnessed. He could exceed speeds faster than light, and crack the earth with a single punch. He was invincible to all conventional weaponry, and to all but the strongest fighters.
However, all of that meant very little when exposed to the Carrot Master's touch. And thus Goku, like everyone else, was turned into a carrot.
"Hahahah!" Boss Rabbit crowed as he plucked the carrot off the ground. "That's one!"
"What the…" Trunks stepped back, his eyes transfixed in shock. "Who the hell is that guy?"
"That's the Carrot Master," Yamcha explained hurriedly, keeping his eyes on the baneful bunny. "Anything he touches is turned into a carrot."
"Well, I'm gonna stop him!" Trunks rushed at him, fist outstretched.
"Trunks, don't touch him!" Yamcha cried. But Trunks couldn't stop his descent. And as soon as he touched the rabbit, he was turned into a carrot.
"HAHAHAH!" he cackled some more. "That's two!"
"Trunks!" Bulma screamed out in vain.
Yamcha glanced at her in concern. Due to this, he didn't notice Boss Rabbit until it was too late.
"BWAHAHAH!!!" he picked the third carrot off the ground. "And that's three!"
The carrots were pocketed quickly. "Guess that wraps things up on the battlefront!" he sang, turning to the remaining victims. "Now, all that's left is the clean up!" He grinned viciously.
Bulma was not cowed, though. She stepped up to Boss Rabbit in a huff. "You change them back right now!" she demanded angrily, shaking her fist.
"Yeah!" Puar stepped up, putting his tiny hands on his hips." Change them back!"
"Please don't hurt us, Mr. Rabbit," Oolong begged, hiding behind Bulma. "We'll do whatever you say!" Bulma and Puar nearly facefaulted.
"Heh heh!" Boss Rabbit snickered at them. "You really should listen to your little piggy friend, before I put you into my carrot-cake!"
The rabbit adopted a cocky demeanor, infuriating the group to no end. Bulma eye twitched Puar in particular was incensed, what with Yamcha being 'carrotized' and all. Oolong just continued to cower timidly.
"How about 'dis?" Boss Rabbit proposed, causing the groups ears to perk. "If you say, 'I pledge my allegiance to the all powerful and super sexy Boss Rabbit,' I might spare your measly little lives."
"THAT'S IT!!!" Bulma has to strain to hold back Puar, who was rushing towards the bunny with murder on his mind.
"Puar! Stop it!" she cautioned.
"Cut it out, you idiot!" Oolong snapped, peeking out from Bulma's legs. "You'll get us all vegetablized!"
"Let me at em'!" The kitten struggled against Bulma's grasp. "I can take this lop-eared loser! C'mon, just one punch! C'mon!"
"Whoa!" Boss Rabbit took a few steps back from Puar, lest he feel his wrath. "Hey, can't you keep your pet under control?" he asked Bulma in an irritated voice.
"He's not my pet!" she snapped back in between breaths.
"DIE!!!" Puar continued to fight her hold, and succeeded in freeing an arm. With another wrench, he regained a leg, then another arm. And with a final tug, he was free again.
Just as Puar was about to exact his vengeance, Boss Rabbit held up his hands. "Alright, time out!" he called, slapping his hands against each other. Puar stopped his course just before he reached striking distance, but kept his fist cocked at the ready.
"Look I'm sick of all this crap. I don't gots all day to waste with you mugs!" Boss Rabbit settled back into his slouch, out of immediate danger. "So, since I'm such a good guy, I'll give you one change to get back your pallies!"
"We're listening," Bulma nodded, and Puar slowly floated back to the others, somewhat disappointed.
"Yeah, as I said, you can have them back," The rabbit turned his back for dramatic effect. "If…"
The group craned their heads forward.
"If you can beat me at Five-Card-Draw!" he burst out, raising his hands for emphasis.
"Huh?" The group gaped collectively.
"Yes, well, I've always been a fan of a good old fashion card game," Boss Rabbit folded his arms calmly, amused by their reactions. "Throughout history, us Rabbit Gang leaders have always trained in the art of the game. It's our pride as masters of the Carrot Touch." Bulma groaned inwardly at the silly display. It was almost as if he was trying to act like Vegeta. Or something.
"So how's about it?" he smirked arrogantly. "You be up to the challenge, cutie?"
"And if I win, you'll really let them go?" Bulma questioned, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.
The rabbit crossed his heart swiftly. "Gambler's honor," he bowed melodramatically.
Bulma trusted this rabbit about as far as he could throw him. She was sure he had some sort of scheme planned for the occurrence that she might actually win. But, with the stakes being so high, she couldn't afford to take the chance.
With that, she sighed in resignation. "Okay, you've got a deal," Bulma agreed reluctantly.
"Sweeto!" Boss Rabbit grinned crudely. "Let's shake on it!" He held out a paw to her.
Bulma just stood there, unblinking. Puar cracked his knuckles warningly.
"Kidding," Boss Rabbit sweated nervously, retracting the hand.
"Yeah," Bulma said in a dark monotone.
"Anyways, we'll meet up t'morrow at the old warehouse," He turned from Bulma, and crouched low. "Ciao!"
Boss Rabbit bounded towards the roof, landing with a soft thud. A couple more leaps, and he was out of sight, headed to wherever giant bunnies spend their nights.
Bulma, Oolong, and Puar watched him go, their faces blank.
"I still think you should've let me kick his butt," Puar commented.
*****
Authors Notes: Because of the size of this file, I'm having to split it into two parts. Take a look on Monday to see the conclusion.
Until next time, Ja ne! ^_^