Dragon Ball: Makafushigi Adventure
By Reid M. Haynes
Disclaimer: Dragon Ball and all characters within are the property of Akira Toriyama, TOEI ANIMATION, and various other companies. I am using them without permission, and I am making no money off of them.
Tale 6: Let's Try Try Try Makafushigi, Part 1
*****
"What on earth is this place?"
"Some sort of chaotic ritual site, maybe?"
"It's so crowded…"
"We're going to get split up in here!"
"Calm down! Just stick together, that's all."
The dark cavity of the karaoke club was alive with a thousand annoyances, all competing for the attentions of its packed audience. Blaring neon light shone through the blackness, illuminating the mass of spectators. A dozen speakers resounded the favorite tunes of the crowd as they waited for the festivities to begin.
"Wow, what a weird place!" Goku said to himself, easing his way through the crowd. He tried his best to be careful with his power: a simple slipup could send a bystander through the roof. So far he was having moderate success, although he was irritating some of the less patient people present.
"Bulma, are you sure that the Dragon Ball is here?" Yamcha asked, following her through the crowd.
"Positive," Bulma responded, her eyes trained on the Radar. "It's at least somewhere in this place."
"Too loud," Oolong muttered, covering his ears.
"Too bright," Puar squeaked, shielding his eyes.
The game of Follow-the-Leader resumed its pace. Goku, Yamcha, Oolong, and Puar did their best to keep up with Bulma as she weaved through the crowd. Puar has no trouble with this at all, as he simply floated above the heads of the people. Oolong was getting along fine, despite occasionally bumping into a spectator or two. Goku and Yamcha were concentrating all their energies into controlling their power so they didn't accidentally kill anyone.
"Hey, watch where you're going, you mindless oaf!" A harsh voice snapped out, and Goku stepped back from the man he had bumped into. Goku's eyes goggled. What a sight this guy was! He was decked out in purple Chinese robes, and had his hair pulled into a braid over his right shoulder. When he got a good look as his strange goggles covering his face, however, Goku's confusion changed to glee.
"Tao Pai Pai!" he chimed, wrapping his nemesis in a bear hug. Well whadaya know!"
"Ack!" he wheezed, the air crushed out of his lungs. "You're…choking me…!"
"Whoops, sorry!" he amended, putting down the man just as the white spots began to appear.
"Hmph!" The number one assassin dusted off his robes in disgust. "Of all the people to run into, I into the number one moron of the world."
"Hey, so you do remember me!" Goku said, patting him on the shoulder. "That's great!"
"How could I forget?" Tao Pai Pai muttered sarcastically, brushing Goku's hand off his clothes.
"Hey Tao, whatcha doin' here anyway?" The other said, settling into a relaxed stance. "I thought you were workin' for that fat guy."
The assassin flicked his braid behind his back in that odd gesture of his. "If you must know, I'm one of the contestants." he explained curtly. "Since you've destroyed every job I've had, this is he only way I can make ends meet."
"Contestant?" Goku blinked. "You mean this is a contest?"
"Idiot," Tao Pai Pai spat out, overwrought with irritation. "Don't you know anything?"
"Huh?" Goku said, illuminating the fact that he, indeed, knew nothing.
Tao Pai Pai sighed exasperatedly. "Every three years, this karaoke club has a competition known as the "Harmonious Under the Heavens" tournament. The winner makes off with a hefty cash prize, along with a special mystery prize."
"Hmm," Goku put his hand to his chin. "So you really think you're gonna win, huh?"
"Hah!" He laughed heartily. "I'll have you know that I've been the winner of this contest for three straight years." The assassin turned around, revealing the marquee on his backside. But instead of bearing you the usual "Kill You!" slogan, it instead stated: "Sing High!"
"Goku, hurry up!" Bulma called out form the crowd, already way ahead of him.
"Whoops, gotta go!" Goku said, heading toward her voice. He turned and waved. "See ya, Tao!" he said cheerfully.
"Good riddance," Tao Pai Pai muttered, going about his business once more.
Goku quickly caught up with the rest of the gang, managing to avoid bumping into any more people. "Was that Tao Pai Pai you were chatting with?" Bulma asked him.
"Yup!" Goku answered happily. "The old guy hasn't changed a bit!
"Knowing him that might not be such a good thing," Yamcha cautioned him.
"Oh well," Goku shrugged carelessly. "I wonder how many more of our old friends are here?"
"I'd just as soon not find out," Oolong whispered, keeping his eyes out for anymore of Goku's 'old friends.'
*****
The short blue imp examined his surrounding with satisfaction. "Finally, my conquest is under way!" he cackled, rubbing his palms greedily.
"Yes, sir," His servant, a young woman with sunken eyes, peered thought the spyglass. "It's as good as ours."
"But sire?" A strange dog creature crept up nervously to his master, despite the fact that he was bigger and taller. "Do you really think we can win?"
"What do you think I've been training you for!" he suddenly burst out, jumping into the air again and again. "Now stop questioning my judgement, or I'll send you both back to the machine!"
"Yes sir!" Both woman and dog grabbed on to each other, shivering with fear.
"Hmph, that's more like it!" he said, turning away. Taking the spyglass from his servant, he peered through to gaze at the fabled treasure with tongue-dripping lust. He smiled deviously.
"Soon, all of my dreams will come true." He said, his tone increasing emphasis with ever syllable. Then, I'll rule this world like it's never been ruled before! And every world after that! AHAHAHAHAH!" The imp proceeded with maniacal laughter, attracting odd stares from the surrounding people.
The woman and dog looked at each other in confusion, wondering why on earth they worked for such a complete idiot.
*****
"What do you mean we can't have it?" Trunks argued, pointing at the object inferred. "We've spent this entire week looking for these things!"
"I meant just what I said," The other, a blond man with sunglasses, responded curtly, trying to keep his temper in check. "That ball is part of our prize. You're lucky I don't have Bacterian kick you out right now." He pointed out Bacterian, a disgusting blob of grease that smelled like vapors from a tar pit. He was now smiling repulsively, drool rolling of his chin and onto his ample stomach.
"But you don't know what you could get for it," Trunks bargained. "I'm telling you, we could pay very well for this little trinket. My mother works with Capsule Corp, and I'm sure she could…"
"The answer is still no," The man interrupted impatiently. "Now, if you would please leave, we could get on with the contest before the crowd gets any more riled up!"
"Hey Trunks, what's going on?" Trunks turned around to see the wall spin around, revealing the secret passage that he had stumbled into. When it was fully uncovered, Bulma and Goku crawled into the compartment, followed by Yamcha, Oolong, and Puar.
"Great, more interruptions," The man slapped his head in exasperation. "I'm not paid well enough for this…"
"What's up?" Goku asked, standing up fully within the small space. "Did you find the ball?"
"Sorta," he explained slowly. "The ball's right over there." The group turned their heads to view the glory of Sanshinchu, Three Star Ball. Even now, it was glowing yellow, due to the proximity of its counterparts.
"That's it!" Bulma cheered, pointing at it. "But what's the problem, then?" she said, sobering up.
"This Ball's part of the prize that this contest is offering." Trunks said. "It's a singing competition, and the winner receives the ball as a mystery prize. In other words, it ain't ours. And we're not getting it."
"Damn," Yamcha cursed, snapping his fingers. "What a drag."
"Yeah, you know it." Trunks crossed his arms and looked away.
Goku said nothing, but instead put his hand to his chin, kneading it thoughtfully. He contemplated the matter, his mind working to come up with a solution. And, due to the problem solving skills he learned in his many battles, he was able to conjure an idea fairly quickly.
Then, his eyes lit up. "Hey, I know!" he burst out with newfound cheer. "Let's enter the contest! That way, if we win, it'll all be fair and square, right?"
"Huh?" The group goggled, "Enter the contest?"
"Well, it seems like the only fair way," Goku responded calmly. "And I don't have any other ideas at the moment."
"Hmm…" Bulma adopted Goku's contemplative stance. ""Well, I guess it's our best shot at winning this thing. And, if we all enter, we'll have a better shot at winning…"
"Okay, we'll do it," She turned to the blond man. "Where do we sign up?"
"Nowhere." The man said coldly. "You're not signing up."
"What?" Bulma hollered out, incensed. "You won't even let us compete for it?"
"Absolutely not," He restated, folding his arms. "You all have an advantage over the rest of the competition by having seen the mystery prize. Not only is it extra incentive to win, it's also against every regulation we have. I'm sorry, but there is no way in good conscience I can let you participate."
"When I'm done with you…" Dark clouds formed around Bulma's head, lightning erupting from their misty confines. "You'll have a lot more bruised than a CONSCIENCE!" She quickly grabbed him by the shirt, and wretched him off his little feet.
"Help!" The man squealed, his voice cracking several octaves. "Abuse! Assault!" He turned his head to his bodyguard. "Bacterian, please help!" he demanded quickly, struggling to get in all the important words during the short time before his doom. "Bacterian!"
But Bacterian was too busy scratching his rear to pay attention to him. So the pathetic little man was left in the hands of Bulma, which were in the process of stretching his collar to the point of choking him.
"C'mon Bulma, let him go," Goku reasoned with her. "There's nothing we can do now."
Bulma glared at him, as if ready to transfer her rage to a new target. Then, with a disappointed sigh, she let go, leaving the man to topple to the floor, gasping for air.
Goku walked up to the man, and pulled him to his feet. "What a day…" the man muttered, straining his now-wrinkled collar. "Accosted at every step..."The man's brow suddenly furrowed. "Don't I know you from somewhere?" he asked him, examining his face closely.
"Huh?" Goku mind drew a blank at fist, then he reached deep, and drew a recognition. "Hey, aren't you the guy from the Tenka-ichi Budokai? You know, the announcer?"
"And you're that guy who beat Ma Junior!" The man's eyes widened underneath his shades. "You're…Son Goku! That's right, isn't it?"
"That's me!" Goku smiled, putting his hand behind his head in slight embarrassment.
"I thought so!" The announcer "Not every day you meet up with a champion. This is turning out to be a better day than I thought!"
This strange reunion was interrupted by the presence of a shaggy haired teenager who looked like he hadn't shaved in days.
"Hello, this is RisanF," The guy, or rather, I said. "I'll be referring to the announcer as the TBA, standing for "Tenka-ichi Budokai Announcer.' Because if I have to keep typing in "Tenka-ichi Budokai announcer," I'll go stiff from 'writers cramp.'"
I scratched my head. "Well, I guess that's it, then' I said, preparing to go. "Until next time, Ja ne! ^_^" And, just as soon as he appeared, the weird little person was gone.
"So, you're still not gonna let us in?" Bulma tried, having not noticed the author's stupid cameo appearance. "What with the champion himself showing his presence?"
"Well…" The TBA considered it for a moment. "…alright then." He looked up. "Very well. Due to the contestant in question being a previous contender in the "Under the Heavens" series of competitions, I'll accept your group into this contest."
"Yay!" Bulma and the others danced around in celebration.
"However!" His sharp tone broke through their bliss, stopping them. "The prize still goes to the best. So you all had better be able to sing, or else." With that, the man exited the room, heading to the bathroom to clean up before the big event.
"Look's like we're in!" Goku cheered, throwing out the V-Sign.
"We may have a chance after all," Trunks smiled calmly.
"Okay," Bulma stood before the group. "Which one of us can sing well?"
Silence once again filled the room, the only sound being the relentless butt scratching by Bacterian.
*****
By this time, the crowd's impatience had increased two-fold. Their hollering echoed about the Kareoke Club, multiplying their excitement further. They raised their fists and chanted wildly, hungry for the upcoming action.
Just as the rowdiness was about to escalate into a full out war, the Master of Ceremonies, the TBA, emerged from behind the curtain. Microphone in hand, he proceeded to the edge of the small platform, and the crowd fell silent, waiting for the announcement.
"Sorry for the delay," he began, the mike's aid giving his voice a god-like quality. "But it was worth the wait. The 22nd 'Harmonious Under the Heavens' contest is about to begin!"
A roar of applause filled the chamber, a brief echo of their previous chanting that ended as soon as it began. The TBA waited for the applause to fully die down before continuing.
"This year, we have some promises new challengers hailing from East and West," he said, doing his best to charge up the crowd. "Let's hope they'll be able to compete with our long-time champion, Tao Pai Pai!"
At the mention of the assassin's name, the crowd cheered, holding up their "Kill You!" signs in honor of their hero.
"Now then, the rules," The TBA explained, filling in for any newbees attending. "As many of you know, this tournament is based on a succession of songs, each of which must be under five minutes. The singer may pick from of the songs in our extensive library. Like in past years, duets are allowed, as are threesomes and quartets. But any number of singers over four is not permitted, as they tend to outweigh the rest of the competitors.
"The victor chosen is a direct result of the audience's approval. Each person with positive approval of a singer supplies one point to that singer's total score. A negative response will take one point away. Needless to say, if the singer leaves the stage before his or her time is up, that singer is automatically disqualified."
"At the end, all of the scores are evaluated. And at the end, the singer or singers with the most total points will win the game."
"Now…" The TBA let the words trail off, getting the crowd ready for the finale.
"Let the matches BEGIN!!!"
*****
Author's Notes: Like Chapter 4, this part will be divided into two sections. Part 2 will be coming momentarily.
Until next time, Ja ne! ^_^