Title: The Evils of Writer's Block
Author: Liz Huisman
Disclaimer: I'm not getting rich of this piece of
fanfiction. I'm not even getting poor
off it :) So don't sue, Aaron, b/c I'm acknowledging that you own it: Aaron,
you own these characters!
Summary: Sam has writer's block, and Josh tries to help.
A/N: I wrote this piece in order to try and cure myself of
my writer's block. I'm currently
working on another fic (out in a couple days hopefully!) and I got stuck on a
part. So I just decided to try something
lighter and spoofy. Enjoy!
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Sam sat in front of his laptop. He was staring at a blank word processor
page. He had been told to write a
speech that needed to be done by tomorrow, but he couldn't write. He heard a knock on the door, and looked up
to see Josh standing there.
"What are you still doing here?" Josh asked him, walking
over to his desk.
"Not writing a speech," he replied.
"Don't tell me you have writer's block again."
"I have writer's block again."
"How many times a month is it possible for you to get
writer's block?"
"More than ever thought humanly possible, even to the
writer's of this fine show."
"If the writers of this show got writer's block as much as
you, do you know what kind of sick and torturous things they could do to us
characters?"
"Oh, like, put you and Ainsley together?"
"Worse than me and Ainsley."
"What could be worse than me and Ainsley?"
"Oh… wait. Are you
saying that I could never date Ainsley Hayes?
Is she too good for me?"
"I never said she was too good for you, I just said…"
"Is this because she's a Republican? Because I could date any female Republican I
wanted."
"I don't think…"
"Any female Republican would be delighted to go out with
me, a young, brilliant, very good-looking…"
"Josh, just answer my question."
"What question?"
"What could be worse than you and Ainsley?"
"Just about anything they could come up with. You and me, for example."
'You and me?"
All of a sudden, two pieces of ceiling fall and hit them on
the head. They start exchanging soulful
looks.
"Oh, Sam…"
"Oh, Josh…"
All of a sudden, two more pieces of ceiling fall and hit
them on the head. They stop exchanging
soulful looks.
"See what I mean, Sam?"
"That's defiantly worse."
"And do you wanna know what's even worse than that?"
"I'm almost scared."
"Leo and the President."
"Leo and the President?"
"Leo and the President."
"Where do you get all of these deranged ideas from anyway?"
"I have my "sources", Sam."
"Then what else do your "sources" say?"
"Something even more disgusting than Leo and the
President."
"What could that possibly be?"
"Four words.
Leo. Tribbey. Hot.
Sex."
"Have the writers had you being hit in the head repeatedly
with heavy objects that you haven't told me about?"
"Just a minute."
Josh scurries out and returns a minute later dragging Aaron Sorkin by
the ear.
"Aaron, have you ever had anyone hit me repeatedly with
heavy objects that Sam never knew about?"
"Uh, no, Bradley…"
"It's Josh!" Josh screams.
"JOSH!"
"Aaron, have you and your writer's ever experienced
writer's block?" Sam asked.
"Twice. Why do you
think we had Bradley get shot?"
"The other?"
"Right now."
"It's JOSH!" Josh screams again. He procedes to pick up Aaron and throw him out of Sam's office.
As Josh walks back in, two pieces of ceiling fall and hit
he and Sam on the head. They start
exchanging soulful looks again.
"Oh, Sam…"
"Oh, Josh…"
All of a sudden, two more pieces of ceiling fall and hit
them on the head. By now there is more
ceiling on the floor than there is ceiling on the ceiling. They stop exchanging soulful looks.
"What just happened?"
"I don't know. The
writer's just gave us amnesia, I think."
"Amnesia's bad…" Sam says slowly.
"Amnesia's very bad…" Josh replies equally slow.
They hear screaming.
They turn and see Aaron running down the hall, followed by CJ, carrying
a 2' x 4'.
"Come back here!
You have to uncrush Danny!"
"Uncrush isn't a word!"
"I don't care!"
"What was that all about?" wondered Sam.
"I don't know. We
have amnesia, remember?"
"Oh yeah. I
forgot."
They heard more screaming.
They turn again and see CJ running down the hall, followed by Aaron
carrying a 2' x 4'. CJ abruptly stops.
"Wait a minute!"
Aaron abruptly stops too.
"What?"
"I'm supposed to be chasing YOU with the 2' x 4', yelling
at you to uncrush Danny. You're writing
team screwed up again."
"Oh yeah." Aaron
hands CJ the 2' x 4' and takes off running down the hall, followed by CJ,
carrying the 2' x 4' and yelling at him to uncrush Danny.
"What was that all about?"
"I don't know, Sam.
Amnesia, remember?"
"Oh yeah. I forgot
again."
All of a sudden, two pieces of ceiling fall and hit them on
the head. But this time there is no
exchange of soulful looks.
"I remember! I
threw Aaron out and he must have crushed Danny!" exclaims Josh.
"Yep!"
"So see what I mean, Sam?"
"See what?"
"Writer's block is EVIL!"
"Eureka!" Sam exclaims.
He starts typing furiously at his laptop.
Josh shrugs and leaves, stepping over a very crushed Danny
and pretends to wipe his hands clean of something.
"Another job well done!" he applauds himself.
He reaches his bullpen.
He has to duck as a 2' x 4' goes flying over his head. He looked up and saw CJ and Aaron still
fighting.
"Hey, break it up!" he yells. "Story's over!" The 2' x
4' magically disappears.
Aaron starts to disappear, but CJ grabs his shirt.
"Oh no you don't! You
don't get to disappear into a cloud of smoke until you uncrush Danny!"
"Fine, woman. Danny's
uncrushed."
CJ sees Danny walking toward them. She lets Aaron go and runs toward
Danny. Aaron disappears into a cloud of
smoke.
"I always thought you weren't allowed to smoke in here,"
Danny obvserved.
"Oh who cares?" CJ said as she grabs him and kisses him passionately.
"Hey!" Josh exclaims.
"I already told you, this story's over!
You two have to go back to not kissing!" They immediately stop.
"Danny…"
"CJ…"
"Go back to the press room."
"Will you have a drink with me sometime?"
"No!"
"Anytime?"
"No, Danny, I won't…"
Josh smiles and goes back into his office. He opens his e-mail and types a message to
Sam.
Sam, promise me you will NEVER get writer's block again. Next time, it could be Leo and Toby…
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