Even as he tried to enjoy himself, a question kept prodding the back of Gohan's mind. He didn't really want to say it aloud; it seemed so awkward and unnatural. Yet, it pestered him to no end. He eventually gave in, just as Videl was explaining which things pigeons are most frightened of.
"They don't really mind it if you don't go through the center, so be sure to hit that little flock head on if you want success," she warned. She frowned as she discovered her pupil hadn't been paying very much attention. He was looking absentmindedly in the other direction. "Now come on--"
"Videl?" asked Gohan. "Do you think I'm really, really bizarre?"
Videl looked astonished. "Of COURSE I think you're bizarre. Why else would I name you Phun 'n' Phreaky?"
"Not like that," he snapped. "I mean, I showed you that picture and everything, I told how I hadn't seen him for years--don't you think that's a little weird?"
"What, you're talking about Piccolo?"
"Duh. Whom else would I be talking about?"
Videl shrugged playfully. "Maybe… oh, I dunno. Anyway, you're not the weirdest guy I've ever seen. I know this guy named Dende who goes around telling people about these magical balls…"
Gohan spat out his soft drink. "DENDE?!?!"
"Know him?"
"Yup."
She made a face. "He's weird. We met over the Internet. Now we meet on the weekends to discuss life, the universe, everything[1], and all that junk. I'm trying to teach him how to impress women. I keep telling him to stop talking about the balls, but he won't listen…"
"If you keep making those faces, it will get stuck that way," Gohan chided. "Now, about Dende…"
"That's what my dad always said when I was a little girl. 'Now, Viddy, be a nice little girl and make nice faces, or you'll be stuck ugly like that.' Man, those were the days…"
Gohan snorted. "Yeah, whatever. About Dende--"
"I could make such a great ugly face back then, man, it was awesome…"
"Great. About Dende--"
"I remember there was this little bully on our street, and he was always mean to everybody except me, 'cause when I made a face at him, he got scared and ran away! Ha ha! That was great!"
"VIDEL!"
She stopped talking and looked at Gohan inquisitively. "Anything wrong?" she asked.
"This is serious!" Gohan insisted. "Dende is the Guardian of Earth! Kami! He's supposed to be watching everybody, and instead he's slacking off with you. The fate of 6 billion people[2] is in his hands! Something could go terribly wrong…"
Videl nodded. "I see what you mean. But… it just doesn't make sense. Kami should know better than that. You wanna go check it out?"
Gohan agreed, and after much bickering about how Videl was to get there (she had just barely begun to learn to levitate), they held hands as Gohan pulled Videl up into the sky, towards Kami's Lookout.
"Woo! I'm a bird! I'm a plane! I'm Super-Saiyaman's worst nightmare!" Videl shouted giddily as Gohan hoisted her into the air. "Look! There are our apartments! That's our school! That's the section of town I got kicked out of for disturbing the peace!" Gohan mentally winced as he recalled the day Videl dressed up in a chicken costume and ran around the neighborhood screaming, "Super Saiyaman, come and get me! Bawk bawk bawk! CHICKEN!!!!!!!!"
"Don't talk about that, okay, Videl? Why do you insist on trying my patience every day?" he asked, sighing. Even with his strength, it was tough to hold on to Videl while she wiggled around to look at the sights.
The schoolgirl giggled like, well, a schoolgirl. "I just want to push you past your limit. I want to see you stand up for yourself," she chided. Apparently, driving people half-mad was her idea of fun.
"Yeah, well, stop moving or I might let you go."
"Like you would."
"I would."
"Yeah, right. Hey, is that one of our pigeon friends I see?"
Gohan plopped Videl down in a soft bush. She thrashed about in the foliage as Gohan landed firmly on the floor and began a conversation with Mr. Popo. Finally, Videl escaped from the clutches of the bush--she nicknamed it Mr. Evil Plant-Thingy--and staggered over to Gohan.
"He's in the room over there," said Mr. Popo, motioning behind him, "but I wouldn't go in there if I were you. It's just--scary."
"C'mon, Videl, let's go see what's up with Dende," suggested Gohan, completely oblivious to the various leaves and twigs stuck to Videl's clothing and hair. She merely grunted in response, wearing the expression of a cat that has just recently been given a bubble bath.
While Mr. Popo stayed behind to tend to the shrubbery Videl had injured, the other two crept into the aforementioned room. It was spacious and well lit. On one side was an extremely large wall mirror, and posing in front of it was Dende, reading phrases out of a lesson book. "Hey there," he said to the mirror, "I haven't seen you around. You live here, or are you just visitin'?"
Gohan and Videl toppled to the floor in shock. Dende looked over, alarmed at the disturbance, but sighed with relief when he saw his two friends. Wait--Videl can't fly. How'd she get here? "Wh-what are you doing?" he asked shakily.
The humans helped each other to stand. "Sorry, Dende," Videl muttered, "but I didn't anticipate that. You study hard?"
"Yeah," Dende replied proudly. "At this rate, it'll be easy to get a girlfriend."
Gohan fell over again, and this time it took both the girl and the Namek to help him stand. "Get a WHAT?" he demanded. "He's supposed to be protecting the world, and you're trying to help him get a GIRLFRIEND?"
Videl shrugged. "C'mon, he has plenty of time for that. I was just trying to explain to him about love--human style. Only, he didn't really understand. I guess I thought it would be good to give him some field training, you know, real life practice. A girlfriend would be good for him"
"But you know they'd break up," Gohan countered, "because she would want a loving relationship and he would want a primer in human emotions. It doesn't work like that."
"Yeah, but what if they fell in love?"
Gohan snorted. "Nameks are asexual. Nobody wants an asexual boyfriend."
"I don't think so," Videl replied. "I bet we can find someone that does, if we look hard enough. I'll check over here. You can go check over in that mirror."
Dende knew this argument was going to get ugly.
"Guys, guys, take it easy," he pleaded. "C'mon, can't we all just have a friendly conversation? Let's talk about something, like, um, like the play Videl is in!" At first, Gohan and Videl only looked at one another skeptically, but soon, everyone was talking about the play and had apparently forgotten the previous squabble.
Videl explained the most difficult part of the play, the Evil Kiss. Videl played the Evil Queen, so she had to give the Good Prince the Kiss of Death. Of course, he didn't really die; he just went into a comatose-like state until the Ditzy Princess saved him. When Dende asked why a simple kiss was so difficult, Videl decided to demonstrate.
She wrapped her arms around Gohan's head and gave him a deep, passionate, fake kiss. He flailed around and tried to escape, but she held him tight and he didn't want to risk injuring her. Her hands, pressed to his mouth, effectively muffled his screams of sheer terror.
The girl broke away and allowed the boy to breath. "…hu… hu… hu…" she laughed upon seeing his horrified expression. (A/N: That laugh is property of TDP-sama, but she thought it fit my Videl and she wanted her to borrow it.)
Gohan lifted his head sharply. "Videl! Dende! Did you feel that?"
"Feel what?" they asked in unison.
"That ki!" he practically shouted. "A large ki I've never felt before, just now! Didn't either of you feel it?"
They shook their heads, and Gohan sighed, exasperated.
An hour later, the humans left Kami's Lookout for respective homes. On the way out, Videl said hi to Mr. Evil Plant-Thingy, and Gohan apologized to Mr. Popo for the damages she had caused. The boy was not happy with anything she had done, but he had faith in Dende and Mr. Popo.
That evening later, Gohan and Videl were sitting together in Gohan's kitchen, sorting mail and doing homework. "Look here," said Videl. "I got a letter from my dad, and at the very bottom it says, 'P.S. I hope you get a boyfriend soon.' The nerve of him! He'll never give up, I guess."
"Yeah, my mom's really been bugging me about a girlfriend, too. How can I tell her I just haven't found the right one yet?"
"You never will, if you keep up your act."
Gohan indignantly replied, "What's that supposed to mean?" She didn't answer him. Instead, she continued to sort through her mail. Gohan tried to communicate with her, but she refused to look at him. "What did I do to deserve the silent treatment?" he asked. "Unless--unless you're upset because you have a crush on me!"
Videl and Gohan exchanged a "look" for about 1.36 seconds before they burst out laughing. "Yeah, that'll be the day," she muttered. "I'm just saying, I think you're overlooking someone who's already in your life. But, you'll probably never know."
"Whatever, Videl."
"That's General Devil to you, Lieutenant Phun 'n' Phreaky!" More laughter occurred.
Videl's eyes suddenly lit up. "You know what? If you need a girlfriend and I need a boyfriend…"
Gohan caught on and shook his head firmly. "No. I'm not deceiving my mom." Videl stared at him for a moment until he gave in. "Okay, so maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea," he admitted. "At the very least, it would keep everyone happy."
"Now you're talking!" exclaimed Videl. "Look out, world, here come Videl and Gohan, the 'perfect' high school couple!"
[1]Life, The Universe, and Everything is the title of a book by Douglas Adams. It's funny!
[2]Yup, people. We've hit 6 billion. Is that a good thing?