Notes: This is the companion piece to Harm's. Mac's thoughts after the events in the first three stories.
STOP MAKING ME MISS YOU LIKE THIS - MAC'S
Come on, Marine. Go to sleep. Close your eyes, clear your mind, and drift away to a place where, hopefully, his face won't haunt you. Forget the way his beautiful eyes sparkle when he gets excited. Stop thinking about the way said eyes flashed with hurt when you fought with him this afternoon. Rid your brain of all dreams of a future life - one with him by your side.
God, Harm...how did we get to this place? And why? Why couldn't we both have admitted what we felt way before this point, and perhaps saved ourselves this mess? Why did your pride have to get involved? Why couldn't you just have trusted me? Why do I still melt every time I think about you? And why am I having this discussion with myself?
Ok. Get a grip on reality. Look around your apartment, at all the reminders of the fun you had with Mic. Mic doesn't know anything about this, or Harm. Mic is the guy who will still be there next week, wanting to marry you. Harm won't. Harm will never be there again. Why am I suddenly finding that revelation to be the worst thing I'll ever have to deal with?
Harm. In all the time I've known him, I never thought to ask what his name meant. Knowing my luck, it'll be translated as 'the one man you should spend your life with, but can't because you were both too stupid to realize that fact before it was too late'. And we were, and now it is. It's too late. He's not yours anymore. Get over it. Go back to Mic, and pretend.
Pretend. Pretend you love him, and that your thoughts aren't occupied with another guy at night. I can't do that. Can't, or won't? Do I have enough human decency to realize that doing that to Mic would be utterly horrible, or do I love Harm so much that the thought of marrying another man, even one I don't love, is totally incomprehensible? God, Harm, stop it. Stop playing with my head and my heart, and getting them both confused. Stop making me fall for you no matter what you do. Stop making me miss you like this.
Ring him. Just take the phone off the hook, press the numbers, and wait until he picks up. Give your heart back to him willingly, and tell him that you're so in love with him that you can't think straight, and that you really don't want to. Don't let him get off the line until he knows that your heart belongs to him and him alone. Do it, or live regretting the knowledge that you could have made things right, but didn't. As Nike says, just do it.
STOP MAKING ME MISS YOU LIKE THIS - MAC'S
Come on, Marine. Go to sleep. Close your eyes, clear your mind, and drift away to a place where, hopefully, his face won't haunt you. Forget the way his beautiful eyes sparkle when he gets excited. Stop thinking about the way said eyes flashed with hurt when you fought with him this afternoon. Rid your brain of all dreams of a future life - one with him by your side.
God, Harm...how did we get to this place? And why? Why couldn't we both have admitted what we felt way before this point, and perhaps saved ourselves this mess? Why did your pride have to get involved? Why couldn't you just have trusted me? Why do I still melt every time I think about you? And why am I having this discussion with myself?
Ok. Get a grip on reality. Look around your apartment, at all the reminders of the fun you had with Mic. Mic doesn't know anything about this, or Harm. Mic is the guy who will still be there next week, wanting to marry you. Harm won't. Harm will never be there again. Why am I suddenly finding that revelation to be the worst thing I'll ever have to deal with?
Harm. In all the time I've known him, I never thought to ask what his name meant. Knowing my luck, it'll be translated as 'the one man you should spend your life with, but can't because you were both too stupid to realize that fact before it was too late'. And we were, and now it is. It's too late. He's not yours anymore. Get over it. Go back to Mic, and pretend.
Pretend. Pretend you love him, and that your thoughts aren't occupied with another guy at night. I can't do that. Can't, or won't? Do I have enough human decency to realize that doing that to Mic would be utterly horrible, or do I love Harm so much that the thought of marrying another man, even one I don't love, is totally incomprehensible? God, Harm, stop it. Stop playing with my head and my heart, and getting them both confused. Stop making me fall for you no matter what you do. Stop making me miss you like this.
Ring him. Just take the phone off the hook, press the numbers, and wait until he picks up. Give your heart back to him willingly, and tell him that you're so in love with him that you can't think straight, and that you really don't want to. Don't let him get off the line until he knows that your heart belongs to him and him alone. Do it, or live regretting the knowledge that you could have made things right, but didn't. As Nike says, just do it.