Hi. Before you start to read this and wonder, hey - that's just the same old crap I already read once, let me tell you this:
yeah, there exists already my story "Rays of the Sun" which is a sad romance with three chapters. A few people asked me to rewrite and so here's the story again, this time just one chapter and this time, logically, another end.
If you know the original first chapter already you'll recognize the lines, a little over the first half is unchanged - just the last third of the story is new.
~ For T.-san ~
Ranma 1/2 - Rays of the Sun (Another End)
It's a dark grey. In the right corner it gets a bit darker. Nearly black. The part near the window has a slight touch of brown glow coming from the city lights outside. But it's a dirty glow. Yes, just the colour changed. Apart that it was always the same. Everytime you stared at it, it still would be the same no matter what.
*Well what's there to expect of a wall* Ranma thought. He lay in their room on the ground. He was used to lying on the ground. He was used to a futon. And he was used to sleeping alone in it. But he felt damned alone.
Damn alone.
And the futon never seemed bigger than in these nights.
Big and empty. Just enough place left.
After all it was a futon for two.
*No. Not again. I don't want to... I don't want.* Ranma pleaded at himself. Trying not to think any further he looked up at the ceiling. Again. He did that so very often now. Looking up at the ceiling without seeing it properly. Just staring at a white nothing.
Funny. If you looked long enough at it you would see little spots flickering up. But just if you looked long enough. And just if you didn't blink. Just if your eyes were unfixed. When you stared at nothingness.
Little spots would flicker up. But just if you were empty inside.
And Ranma was good at this by now.
---
Ranma woke to the ringing of the telephone. It was an unpleasant sound. He opened his eyes blinking to the daylight that shone brightly and golden through the window.
His eyes. They had become quiet. No more of the 'grey-blue sea right in front of the storm', no more of the untaimed strong will shining through them, no more of this fierce fire in them. They were broken, like a glass that didn't splitter in thousand shards but one that was damaged nevertheless, which lost it's shimmer.
Through which you couln't see anymore. Broken. And quiet.
Finally, after six rings the phone stopped. Ranma got into a sitting position looking around in his...their... His room. It looked as if you were about to move out, no items showed that someone was living in this room.
Empty. - Again.
The telephone ended the silence once more. Resigned he got out of his futon and left his place to answer the telephone.
"Yes?"
"Ranma-dear, why didn't you go to the telephone?"
"I did, mom."
"After my second try. I knew you were at home."
"right"...
...
"..." Nodoka gave a little sigh. She couldn't help her son out of this. She couldn't comfort him, she knew. But after all it was now some time ago and somehow.. anyhow... it had to go on. Had to.
"Ranma. You have to get out a bit. What about visiting me and your dad for some time. We could ask the neighbours to look after the Tendo-resistance. Won't you come over?"
"no. ...thanks"
"But it's not good for you to keep living like that. I mean I can understand what you're going through-"
"no, you can't, mom."
"Son. I'm worrying about you. You-"
"I'm now 23. I can look out myself."
"Dear.."...
"..."
"..."
"...okaa-san? Thank you for worrying about me."
...
"I love you, Ranma. You are the greatest honor I could dream of. You know that, don't you?"
"I know mom. I love you too. But I gotta go now."
"Sure Ranma."
...
"Ah, Ranma" Nodoka added "You talk to me if you can't take it, don't you?"
"Sure mom."
He hang up. His mom was really worried about him. But then, many were. At first he himself was most worried about what he might do now. By today however,...
*I love you*... *mmh. Easy to say actually.* He really _had_ changed. By now words like 'thanks' or 'I love you' would come easily over his lips...
...
"I love you, Akane."
The words hand in the air. He had spoken them just for that they left his lips. Something inside him still waited for the responds. Like she used to.
"I love you too Ranma" she would say "My husband is all to me"
And she would kiss him. How he loved to forget everything within her kiss. How he loved her scent, drowning in it.
How he loved her. Still did.
*No. Not again.*
But it was useless. Memories were like ... *Argh. Heck with it.* he turned, leaving that thought back. He returned to his room and lay down again, onto his ...their..onto the futon. And he looked up at the ceiling.
"Akane," he started "I wonder what I've done? Why do I deserve this?" His voice was shaking, for a few seconds it looked as if he would start to cry. But no tear would run down his face. Not a single one.
Not anymore.
He closed his eyes. Birds chirped outside. It would be a wonderful and promising day. Many people would say that this was one of the beautiful days. Sunny, warm though not too hot, a slight breeze of the wind carrying the tiniest news of the sea with it. The sun playing Light and Shadow with the trees, together creating secret pictures of another world onto the ground.
Truely a wonderful day. Almost.
"You would have liked the weather today, 'kane."
Oh yeah. She had liked the sunshine. Ranma had always thought that her smile could compete with the sun.
An old memory flashed briefly through his tired head. And he didn't fight it. He had lost all his fighting spirit, after all it was worth nothing.
"You're cute when you smile" And she was startled. Even blushed a little.
Ranma had never had much of a strategic mind, thinking of something like that just to make her hesitate. He said just the next thing that came to his mind and used the opportunity it gave to him.
He was dodging her. Looked at her. Made a notice that she could look nice if she wanted to. Used the situation to his advantage and beat her in combat. Easy thing.
That thought sent other memories to his mind. Unbidden but accepted they kept coming.
How he first arrived at the Tendos.
That the youngest Tendo-daughter offered him friendship.
She hating him for seeing her naked, for being a sex-changing hentai, for being her fiance
She smiling the first time at him, eyes still puffy from crying earlier but still, a beautiful smiling
He meeting Ryoga, starting a game of jealousy over her
He learning the HyrouuShotenHa, getting back his strengh and nearly losing her in that hurrican
The first time he just couldn't keep it no longer locked and he secretly and alone whispered that she _was_ cute.
The time he thought he had to leave her at Ryokenzawa.
The first time he admitted to himself that he loved her
The battle with Saffron
Their ruined wedding
His first real kiss with her
Him dealing with the other fiancees.
Their wedding
His first time, with Akane
...his life of pure joy.
Akane one day not feeling well but somehow exhausted and tired.
The night together in bed when she suddenly woke up Ranma, looking weak and sweaty. She telling him she felt sick and dizzy and he taking her to the hospital.
She dying that night.
He, crying over days, no matter how unmanly it seemed. Everything losing his worth to him, martial arts, honor, he himself....
His friends being there for him.
He missing her so much that he thinks he can't breathe.
He trying to kill himself.
He talking to her picture, - again.
---
Ranma turned to his side. Remembering all of it was a sweet temptation because it seemed to bring her nearer to him, as if he could go back to those times where they were still together but once he did remember, he felt that he couldn't near her, he couldn't touch her. It was just more weight to carry.
Remembering just showed how much he missed her.
He wanted to cry. He felt his eyes getting watery and shut them so that at least one or two tears could run down his cheek. But they didn't run. Equal to what he wanted, what he tried, he didn't get out of his misery.
He would like to cry! To hell with being manly, what could he get out of it!!
He opened his eyes again, searching something at the ceiling, but finding nothing.
He wanted it. Begged for it.
He wanted to cry, ...as tears eased the pain.
Crying would mean that he dealt with pain, tears would ease it -though just the tiniest bit- but at least ease it.
And that tiny bit would mean progress. That he still lived his life. That he went on.
That he would have left this point, where he was now.
For longer than he wanted to think about.
Here his time stood still, turning around the same again and again. Just suffer.
Crying would mean that he was able to mourn again, that his life did go on somehow - even when it was a sad life. But it would go on.
However, no tears came up.
-----
Night. Strange, lately Ranma liked the darkness more than the day. Man, how he'd changed.
He stood at the window, looking out and watching the nearby tree shake slowly with the wind. As if rocking him mentally.
*mmh* he smiled *a beautiful night*.
There were no clouds at all. Stars shone brightly, thousands of them. Lately they had really beautiful weather.
When he watched the stars he suddenly caught a shooting star. It was just short in appearance but nevertheless it had been there.
Ranma remembered when he was together with all the Tendo sisters on the balcony on that christmas evening. They had watched the stars, or more, they watched that rain of shooting stars washing down on earth, admiring nature at it's perfection. It had been a busy and exciting day, and somewhere Ranma had found some kind of strength, or it was out of reaction provoked by longing that he put his arms around her. Same as it had always been back there. He just managed to get close to her if he did something without thinking it long over - if he did, nothing came out. But if he followed his heart for once and just did what came to his mind...
...had been the same with their first kiss...
At the balcony Akane had told him the same story she once had been told from her mother. About having a wish when you see a shooting star. He knew that saying already, less did he believe in such crap but he let her talk. Listened with all his being.
And he wanted to believe her and her story about the wishes that grants your shooting star.
If she had liked to she could have made him believe the earth was flat. He would have wanted to believe it.
And now, there he was, standing there alone. Having his shooting star that should grant him one wish. A wish he would do everything for. So, from deep within his soul he mouthed it.
"Akane, I wish you were here again. I need you so much, please come back to me..."
-------
Ranma woke up the next morning. This time no telephone woke him, his mom seemed to have calmed down. The warmth of the sheets were comforting, so maybe half an hour longer would be okay. He turned over to his side.
Next to him Akane was sleeping. Ranma had his sleepy eyes just half open but he smiled contently and lay an arm around his wife. He closed his eyes again and dozed off slowly.
When Ranma touched Akane, she stirred slightly but her sleepy form quickly calmed and contently she snuggled closer to Ranma, bringing her hands to his chest and whispering a slight but content sigh, murmuring his name.
That was when Ranma's conciousness woke up. He opened his eyes and she still was there. He'd thought he'd imagined hearing his name with her voice, and maybe he still imagined that she lay there with him - wouldn't be the first time after all.
But - he could feel her. He held her in his arms.
She was there.
Akane stirred again, this time waking up as well. She opened her eyes and looked into those of Ranma shimmering with pure hope.
Then more emotions mixed with that hope; fear, sadness, uncomprehending - most of all love.
About a thousand thoughts were running through Ranma's mind, hundreds of question, countless of things he wanted to tell her before she might vanish like a tricky vision that his desire to see her had created. However, of all these words swirling around in his head he found just one:
"Akane..."
He didn't dare to put any tone in his voice as he was afraid of shattering the dream.
He sat up longing to touch her but afraid to do so. What if she was just his imagination and his hand would pass through her? On the other hand, if insanity brought him back Akane, then he would welcome it.
She looked him fully in the eyes, with those beautiful deep brown eyes of hers, so full of emotions, of warmth and caring. As if you looked into the deep waters of a lake, warm and calm but still with a comfortable touch of mystery and a shining, like the stars at night reflected on it's surface.
The morning sunrise sended burning covers of orange light threw the window and drenched the room with a slight warm glow making the whole situation even more unreal for Ranma.
He wanted to say something, anything, but no words would leave his mouth. His head was empty, but not like before hopeless and hollow. Empty, because there was just too much to say and to think.
He forced himself to form some words and opened his mouth. Though still no sound came out.
Completely oblivious to the passing moments he suddenly felt her fingertips on his right cheek, just very lightly and just three of them but still they were there. And that electrifying feel they gave him made him bloom up inside. He felt as if this sinlge touch of her hand had pulled him out of the black thick water that threatened to drown him. The foggy shield of glass that held his eyes in prison for so long shattered apart and suddenly you could see Ranma again in them. It was small at first but they reflected him with all his being.
Akane sat up too, never breaking contact, neither eyes nor touch. She didn't say a word and for a second she just sat face to face with him. A second which Ranma wouldn't forget.
The sun's first rays crawled into the room and with Akane sitting with her back to the window, the light framed her form with a golden shimmer. The air around her sparkled within the light transforming light dusty particles into little fairies.
Ranma breathed in that sight and hardly realized that Akane leaned towards him and placed her lips on his. The young Saotome closed his eyes and put all his heart into that sweet and caring kiss, living just for this very moment and the contact between the two. He reached up and covered his hand over hers which rested now fully on his cheek.
Finally she pulled away after a short while. She didn't touch his face anylonger with her fingers and looked at him when Ranma wouldn't let go of her. He brought her hand into his view guided by his own and kissed hers lightly.
"Mmmh." Akane smiled at him. "Had a nice dream, Ranma?"
He looked up at her and leaned forward, their foreheads touching. He shut his eyes bathing for just these few seconds in that little moment.
"Honey?" Akane wondered her voice still having a loving undertone.
"Doan know." He said before he moved away the tiniest bit and looked once more into her beautiful eyes. Again he leaned in to kiss her but stopped milimeters before their lips would touch.
With more love than voice he breathed against her mouth: "I think I saw an angel"
------------------
Author's notes:
Okay, you see, as I told you at the beginning, most of the story is still the same just the outcoming of this chapter is completely different. Quite some people wrote me that they had hoped for Ranma to get Akane back and that they were rather sad at the end of the original chapter III of RotS. But from the beginning on I wanted this story to be a depressing one so I kept my sad storyline and wrote all the three chapters like I intended to.
However, one was asking me really sweetly to rewrite the first chapter, makin it an own-standing one with a happy end. Though I think I'm not very good at writing all sweet and fluffy, so I tried to make it ambiguous. It's on you how you see the story.
A, The first part Ranma has just dreamed, Akane never died and he wakes up the next moring, everything is good.
B, Akane did really die but came back. Don't ask me, it's just a miracle.
C, Ranma got finally insane because of his pain with missing her and all and is happy to have 'Akane' again
i_i probably nothing of all that is understandable...
A propos understandable, I tried to fix a few wording mistakes. I know my language skill sucks but hey, I try my best, so please don't sue me for that.
I still would be very thankful for any C&C, and maybe those who already read the old RotS could tell me which one they liked more.
Okay, so much for that, and thank you for the Comments and Advice last time!