"Frasier, I appreciate the offer, but I just can't see trying to fool the system like that." Roz said as they were eating at a small italian restaurant.
"Well I'm not thrilled with the idea of tangling with lady justice either, but the other options are to go on the run with Alice, which you know would not be a good idea. Trying to battle it out with Rick, and we already know what your chances are there, or marrying me just until all this blows over. Frasier again presented his rationale.
"You forgot another option," Roz said darkly. "Kill Rick and that little homemaker wife of his."
"Ha-ha, very funny Roz. Seriously though, I'm not going to pressure you into anything, I was just stating my willingness to help out my best friend. Let me know whatever I can do. But remember time is of the essence." Frasier urged.
"Oh Frasier, I hate it when your logical. You're right, it's the best chance we have, I just don't see your family buying us as a couple, or anyone else for that matter." Roz exhaled sharply.
"I don't see why not, we've got the perfect role models in Niles and Daphne so we just have to act like they do."
"You're kidding me, I can't act that lovey dovey, I'd puke on all that sugary sweetness."
"Yes that would be a bit much, well like them, just to a lesser degree. How's that?"
"Ok, so how do you think we should do this, we don't have time to plan much of a ceremony." Roz finally relented.
"Simple, we elope, tonight!" Frasier declared.
"Tonight, but I had a date." Roz wailed, only to be met by a raised eyebrow from Frasier. "Oh alright, I'll go cancel it."
"And while you're doing that I'll go get the needed props." Frasier rose, "meet at your house in 2 hours?"
"Talk about a romantic proposal" Roz mumbled as she nodded her farewell to Frasier and pulled out her cellphone.
LATER AT THE GREENBRIAR CHAPEL
They sat in the small chapel filled with folding chairs as they watched
couple after couple approach a small balding minister. They would
hand over $50 and take their vows, and were on their way in less than half
an hour. Though they both knew that it was supposed to be a fake
marriage Frasier couldn't help but feel a tad nervous as he wiped his sweaty
palms against his trousers.
Roz was feeling pretty jittery herself and kept playing with Alice
to try and stay distracted. They both jumped when they heard the
minister call out "Crane and Doyle!"
They approached rapidly, Roz still holding Alice, as a reminder of why they were going through with this.
"The minister sped through the service and they exchanged a simple set of gold bands that Frasier had picked up as the "props", he assured her that a simple band would show more stability than any fancy diamonds or jewels. He had also picked up a small engagement ring which she had put on merely 20 minutes before the ceremony.
A FEW MINUTES LATER
"You may now kiss the bride." The minister announced as an assistant held the camera ready to take a picture of their first kiss as husband and wife, holding the baby between them as their lips met in a soft gentle kiss. "Beautiful... beautiful" the minister said, "now a quick picture of the happy family," they quickly posed again as Frasier put his arm around Roz and they both supported Alice as the flash went off. "And here are your pictures, good luck to you both." The attendant wished them good luck as they were rushed off and another couple were called up.
The ride back into Seattle was silent as they both were thinking about what had just happened. Though they had planned it it still seemed surreal that they were legally husband and wife. Frasier wasn't sure if this didn't qualify as a sign of hell about to freeze over.
Roz was still reeling by the emotions brought up by the ceremony and the kiss. She knew it was pretend but something about the kiss they had shared had moved her. She was now Mrs. Frasier Crane, she thought as she cradled the now sleeping Alice in her arms. Roz Crane, sounded like some really strange breed of bird she almost giggled at the thought. All the events of the day had worn her out and soon she was lightly dozing against the headrest.
I don't know how we're going to explain this, Dad might just have a heart attack. Frasier thought as he turned his attention to the sleeping mother and child. He could not help though feeling a protective and paternal urge at the sight. Seeing Roz asleep in the moonlight he was suddenly struck by the realization of how beautiful she really was. It may not be the most legal way to approach it, but I cannot let her lose that child. Alice has brought out a much different and more adult Roz, and I know it would kill her to lose her.
Before he knew it he was pulling up at Roz's house. He gently cleared his throat to wake her up. "Looks like we're back." He said as she took a moment to regain her surroundings. As the three entered the small house Roz immediately went to put Alice to bed while Frasier went to raid the kitchen.
"So here we are," Roz sighed as she sat down at the small kitchen table with Frasier and started nibbling on some crackers and cheese he had brought out.
"Yeah, here we are." Silence hung in the air as they were both lost for words for one of the few times in either one's life.
"I guess tomorrow I'll make the announcement to the family." Frasier said quietly.
"Yeah, we also need to decide on where to live."
"It's up to you Roz, the apartment is bigger, but Dad will be there."
"True, but it's in a better part of town, and would probably look better to a judge or social worker."
"You're right about that, there's building security there, as well as daycare in the building." Frasier agreed. "I guess we'll move you and Alice in tomorrow. We can turn Daphne's room into a nursery, her rooms been vacant ever since she married Niles anyway."
"Yeah, well do you want me there when you make the announcement?"
"Sure, sounds like a proper couple thing to do. I'll try to get everyone together for lunch tomorrow so we can tell them then. I'll call Kenny and tell him to run a Best of Frasier Crane tape so we can have tomorrow off to move. Though we need to announce it to the station soon also.
"Oh that's right we've got to tell all our friends as well. We had better get our story worked out so we both tell the same versions." Roz suddenly realized.
"Well sounds like the way to spend a honeymoon to me." Frasier
agreed as the two spent the rest of the night figuring out the details
that they would be telling their families and friends about their sudden
elopement.