Late Next Morning
"Oh Hi Roz, Frasier where were you last night. I was going to apologize about our fight but you never came home." Martin inquired the moment Frasier, Roz and Alice entered the house.
"I'll tell you in a little bit Dad," Frasier was almost nervous again, and he couldn't figure out for the life of him why this marriage kept doing that to him. "Are Niles and Daphne still coming for lunch?"
"As far as I know, what's so earthshattering that you have to get us all together like this? I can tell somethings up. Another radio award or something that you want to gloat about I suppose?"
"You'll know later Dad, right now I need to make a phone call. Frasier said as he went into the kitchen. Figuring he might as well go ahead and get telling Lilith and Frederick out of the way.
"Well how did they take it?" Roz asked him after he had come back in the room and Martin had gone to get a beer.
"She took it rather well actually, said she thought it was good that I had finally been able to find someone, and Frederick said he thought you were cool, and looked forward to playing with Alice when he came to visit again. He said he was also going to tell her all the tricks of having me for a dad. That's one conversation I must listen in on."
"Oh let him tell her, Alice will probably need some help with that one anyway. Since you'll probably be psychoanalyzing her at every turn." Roz grinned as she shot that last playful barb.
"I don't mean to sound nosy son, but if everyone's coming over here for dinner in an hour shouldn't there be something to eat." Martin interrupted before Frasier could make a smart retort as he re-entered the dining room.
"Oh great scott, you're right Dad, I had better start cooking," Frasier started heading towards the kitchen, "I'll have to see what dishes there are I can make in less than an hour, perhaps there's something in the freezer, oh dear." He was obviously frazzled as he began to race to the kitchen.
"Wait, hold it right there. I'll take care of dinner." Roz announced, causing both of the Crane men to eye her warily. "Seriously Frasier, consider it my first domestic duty as the most recent Crane wife." She whispered to him outside Martin's earshot, winking as she went past him into the kitchen.
"Well OK, I guess Dad and I can discuss that hideous lamp while you do that." Frasier agreed as he went and sat down in the living room, letting Alice sit in his lap and play with his hand, which seemed to fascinate the toddler, as he talked with Martin.
"I never pictured Roz as much of a cook." Martin confessed.
"Yeah, I'm kind of surprised to, it's awfully quiet in there, maybe I should go help." Frasier mused but did not act on it.
Before long Roz carried out plates and silverware to set the table. "Lunch should be ready in about 15 more minutes" she announced, smiling for a moment at how well Frasier and Alice were getting along. Any judge in the world would be able to see how much her little girl loved her Uncle Frasier. Which was no surprise considering he had been the only male figure consistantly in Alice's life since her birth. And she knew that he also had a soft spot of his own for Alice. If this were real she could do a lot worse in picking a step-father.
Her thoughts were interrupted when the doorbell rang. "I got it," she headed for the door, "oh Frasier, got 35 bucks." she said as she walked by the couch. "Oh yeah, uh sure." He fished out his wallet and gave her the money, causing Martin's eyebrows to shoot skyward. "Since when to you two ask each other for money like that?" He was surprised.
"You'll understand later, Dad." Frasier assured him, suddenly turning around as the smell of cheese and pepperoni assualted his nostrils.
"Hey pizza," Martin exclaimed happily. "Now that's my kind of cook."
"Roz, how could you order that... that...." Frasier couldn't find the words. "And make me pay for it no less?"
"It's called pizza, if you and Niles aren't happy with it then there will just be extra for the rest of us, so take it or leave it." She flipped her hair around in a take it or leave it attitude as she turned and headed back to the kitchen.
"You know Frasier, I might be out of line here but you and Roz are starting to sound almost domestic." Martin chuckled.
"Yes I guess we are," Frasier said absentmindedly as he started trying to figure out which wine went with pizza.
The doorbell signaled the arrival of Daphne and Niles just as he had finally decided on red wine.
"Hey all, sorry we're a trifle late." Niles announced when they opened the door, both of them grinning blissfully from ear to ear. "You didn't give us much warning you know?"
"Ooooohhhh Alice is here," Daphne immediately cooed when she saw the little girl and went to her picking her up. "Babysitting for Roz?"
"Not exactly" Frasier replied just as Roz came out carrying the pizza arranged on a serving platter. "Looks like we'll have to find something else to eat bro." he sighed again.
"Why, something wrong with the pizza?" Niles said nonchalantly, much to his brothers surprise as he pulled out a chair for Daphne.
"You know Niles, this marriage to Daphne is changing you." Frasier sighed, "But I remember trying it once, it wasn't that bad if I recall correctly." Frasier gave in and pulled out a chair for Roz and Alice before he sat down.
"I must say I'm glad you got us all here together," Niles said after the meal had begun. "Daphne and I were wondering how to tell you all." It was obvious that he was deliriously happy about something.
"Well go ahead, no time like the present," Martin prompted.
"Oh no, wait Niles, Frasier was the one who called this, he said he had something to share, he should go first." Daphne prompted.
"You're so right, I'm sorry Frasier, what did you have to say?"
"Oh no Niles, you go first, I insist." Frasier graciously offered.
"Oh goody," Niles and Daphne stood up and held hands and looked at each other, to excited to argue with Frasier over who should announce first. "We're pregnant!" They exclaimed in unison, almost giggling like schoolchildren in their glee.
Everyone broke out in warm congratulations, hugging and shaking hands at the good news.
The rest of the meal was spent discussing possible names depending on the childs gender, whether they wanted a boy or a girl. And Daphne scaring people by talking about triplets running down her side of the family. Before they even realized it the meal was over and Frasier and Roz had still not made the announcement.
"Oh I almost forgot Frasier, what did you have to say." Niles finally remembered.the reason they had come there.
Modeling after Niles and Daphne, they stood up and held hands to face the family.
"Oh let me guess, you two are going to have a baby." Daphne laughed out loud, thinking she had just said something funny, figuring the announcement was something simple like a job promotion or something.
"No, actually we're married." Frasier said with a perfectly deadpan look. Effectively causing Daphne to quit laughing and everyone's jaws to drop simultaneously as they digested this new information. Alice was the only one to appear unfazed as she continued to gnaw on a piece of pizza.
"That's funny Frasier, I could almost swear you just said that you and Roz had gotten married." Niles finally found his voice.
"Yes, scary isn't it Niles, we're related now." Roz teased him, trying to break the silence in the room. Everyone seemed to find their voice at once.
"Oh Roz I'm so happy for you" Daphne walked around to hug her friend.
"Congratulations son" Martin hugged Frasier and then reached over to shake Roz's hand. "Welcome to the family Roz, and you to Alice" he reached down to shake the little girls hand.
After a few moments the celebration died down, but Niles had been noticeably silent the whole time. "I don't mean to be a wet blanket on the announcement, but I don't quite believe this." He said seriously. "You two don't have any chemistry."
"Oh stuff it son, I've been waiting for them to get together for 2 years now," Martin reprimanded.
"Niles, are you blind, it's been obvious that they've been in love for a long time, I just never thought they'd realize it." Daphne added, causing both Frasier and Roz to slightly raise their eyebrows at the statement.
"Ok, fine then, prove it, tell me how and why it happened, and when as well. How long have you two been hiding this. A week, a year." Niles was obviously getting upset.
"Niles, calm down." Frasier was a bit embarrassed at his reaction.
"I'm sorry, it's nothing personal Roz, I just don't buy my brother getting married without telling me."
"Oh I see now, it's not disapproval, you're just hurt I would make such a decision without telling you." Frasier said in his best psychiatrist tone.
"Well you must admit Frasier that running off and getting married without telling anyone doesn't sound like you. So let's hear the story." Niles prompted again, calmer this time.
"Yes, the story, alright." Frasier put his arm around Roz and pulled her closer, prepared to tell the story just as they had rehearsed countless times the night before.
"Yesterday evening we were having a cozy little meal together in an Italian restaurant just talking about work and family. Suddenly I took a good look at the woman before me through the candlelight and I was struck by an epiphany" Frasier raised his arm dramatically as if pulling a curtain back to allow the light to shine in.
"That french cuisine is better?" Niles interjected, Frasier ignored the remark while Daphne cast Niles a reproachful look.
"I realized that all the time I had been out searching for that one special woman to share my life with that she had been right in front of me all the time. Before losing my courage I immediately stopped the conversation and declared my feelings. And to my surprise I found that Roz felt the same way. Didn't you darling?"
Roz almost winced hearing Frasier call her darling, she thought it sounded fake but picked up at her cue anyway. "Yes I did. I was astonished at first, it seemed like he was reading my mind when he told me how he felt. When I told him I felt the same way, we were just so happy that we decided we couldn't wait. After 4 years of being in love another day was to long to wait." Roz finished, not quite as dramatically, yet still fairly convincingly.
"I understand exactly what you mean." Daphne said softly. She and Niles both were obviously flashing back to the day they had each found out that the other loved them.
"So you two eloped last night?" Niles swallowed trying to believe the story, "Are there any pictures? Since some of us were not invited to the happy event."
Ignoring the barb Frasier happily took the pictures Roz had just fished out of her purse and passed them to Niles.
"Oh what a sweet kiss, and look how happy they look. I always knew they were in love." Daphne crooned at the pictures as Niles looked on in disbelief at the obvious proof that his brother had indeed eloped without telling him. "Well the pictures don't lie. I'm sorry Frasier, Roz, that reaction was uncalled for, congratulations! I still don't see why you couldn't have at least picked up the phone though." Niles couldn't help throwing in that last comment.
"Thank you Niles, yes I suppose I could have called, just like you did when you and Daphne were making the great Winnebago escape." Frasier replied dryly, causing Niles to sulk as he realized he had just been one-upped.
"So what are your plans for the day? Heading off on a honeymoon?" Daphne changed the subject before the brothers started fighting.
"Due to the lack of wedding planning we're just going to take off somewhere this weekend for a honeymoon. Today we're going to start moving Roz's and Alice in here. Do you have a problem with that Dad?" Frasier covered the question easily, proud of himself for winging it when that was one area he and Roz had forgotten to discuss.
"Of course not, I couldn't be happier, it'll be nice to have someone here who talks about more than opera and wine." Martin appeared genuinely happy.
"Would you like some help moving, we'd be glad to help." Niles volunteered.
"Alright, yes that would be nice. Let me go change into some jeans
and we can get started." Frasier headed towards his room. Pleased
with himself at how smoothly the story had gone over, and also secretly
pleased that his family was so approving of Roz. Though he would
have to ask his family members later what they meant when they said they
had been expecting it.