Minutes later I was up in the air, riding the thermals with Tobias. I reassured myself that flying through the air was much better than the movies will ever be. Still...
Tobias must have sensed that I was troubled. So, uh, he began. I had a feeling what he was going to ask. We never finished the conversation we had in the ocean. Why did you turn that kid down?
T.T? What a dumb question, I thought to myself. Of course he meant T.T. He didn't answer, so I continued. I guess because...I thought it would be disloyal to...to you.
Tobias was silent for a while. I hated all the hesitancy on both our parts. I didn't exactly like sitting around in a pool of uncertainty. Let's get to the ground and morph, Tobias said finally. This is a very...human conversation.
"Well Tobias, this isn't exactly a very human relationship," I answered two minutes later when most of the bird in me had melted away and I was staring at the old, human Tobias. I said it in a harsh tone, which hadn't been my intent at all. I wasn't used to expressing my feelings quite this much, and so far, I hadn't even really said anything important.
"You know, I could be human again ... permanently ... if I wanted to."
"Yes, Tobias, I know."
"That would mean that I would be out of the fight for good. Gone. Done. You, of all people Rachel, should understand why I can't do that."
I was shaking my head slightly. "That's not what I'm asking you to do, Tobias. Not at all. It's not like--"
"What?" he interrupted, louder than before. "What isn't it like? You do want me back human. But guess what? If none of this ever happened, if I was still normal, then you would be the beautiful popular girl again and I would be the social outcast again and we would never talk to each other, ever. That's how it was before. That's how it would've still been."
I wanted to disagree, but he was right. I would be the same popular, trendy, ignorant person that I was before. In fact, I still was all of those things. I said nothing and looked down at the ground.
"Rachel, I like you, I really like you. It's funny how things work out. Being an Animorph is the best thing that ever happened to me, probably mostly because I got to know you."
Well, that got my attention. "I'm not used to you being so forward like this, Tobias," I said lamely. It was all I could think of.
"Neither am I," he replied with a nervous laugh. I could tell he just as surprised himself by what he had said.
"I like you too. A lot." That was the truth, I realized. I looked up at his face, his human face. It was only a few inches away from mine. "I'm just gonna have to deal with this two hour human thing. Sorry about me, Tobias. I'm just being dumb. I care a lot about you, and I know you care about me too." We were silent for a few seconds. His head was tilting, ever so slightly, toward mine. I knew what he was hoping for. I was hoping for it too, but if you couldn't tell already, I was in an incredibly confused mood. "I don't feel like this conversation is getting anywhere. We've accomplished absolutely nothing."
Our faces were now about three inches apart, and Tobias stopped his downward tilt, still the shy teen afraid to do anything too drastic.
I decided to throw my doubts out the window. I didn't care about them anymore. I quickly bent my head up toward him, and our lips pressed together. I meant it to be a short kiss, but lingered there as he kissed me back...when I finally pulled away, it had been a few seconds. "Well, I think that counts as accomplishing something," Tobias said quietly. He was blushing. So was I. We stood there for a little while, ignoring thoughts about the Yeerks, about morphing, about anything that had to do with saving the world. For that one moment, we were just two simple teenagers with a happy, simple relationship.
I realized later that I hadn't exactly been nice to T. T. The next day in school, whenever I passed by him in the halls he completely ignored me. I was starting to feel a little bad for him. And since I was in an already guilty mood, I found myself walking over to him in the lunch line.
"Sorry I was so mean to you the other day," I blurted out. So much for tact. I wasn't used to apologizing. "That, well, doesn't mean I changed my answer to 'yes'," I added quickly. His face fell. "I was just saying sorry."
He looked at me with an emotionless expression. "Don't worry about it," he answered quietly.
"Okay, well--" I started to turn around and leave.
"Oh! Um...sorry I called you a--"
"Don't worry about it," I answered. I turned around and left, feeling not exactly comfortable, but not guilty anymore, about anything. That felt good.
After all, what's the point in going out with someone who can't help you save the world? I thought about Tobias as I walked over to my lunch table and began to eat. I didn't care if his lunch consisted of mice anymore. I would just have to accept it. Just like I had accepted every other bizarre aspect of my life. Principally, turning into animals to fight evil alien parasites, I thought with a smile.
Tobias must have sensed that I was troubled. So, uh, he began. I had a feeling what he was going to ask. We never finished the conversation we had in the ocean. Why did you turn that kid down?
T.T? What a dumb question, I thought to myself. Of course he meant T.T. He didn't answer, so I continued. I guess because...I thought it would be disloyal to...to you.
Tobias was silent for a while. I hated all the hesitancy on both our parts. I didn't exactly like sitting around in a pool of uncertainty. Let's get to the ground and morph, Tobias said finally. This is a very...human conversation.
"Well Tobias, this isn't exactly a very human relationship," I answered two minutes later when most of the bird in me had melted away and I was staring at the old, human Tobias. I said it in a harsh tone, which hadn't been my intent at all. I wasn't used to expressing my feelings quite this much, and so far, I hadn't even really said anything important.
"You know, I could be human again ... permanently ... if I wanted to."
"Yes, Tobias, I know."
"That would mean that I would be out of the fight for good. Gone. Done. You, of all people Rachel, should understand why I can't do that."
I was shaking my head slightly. "That's not what I'm asking you to do, Tobias. Not at all. It's not like--"
"What?" he interrupted, louder than before. "What isn't it like? You do want me back human. But guess what? If none of this ever happened, if I was still normal, then you would be the beautiful popular girl again and I would be the social outcast again and we would never talk to each other, ever. That's how it was before. That's how it would've still been."
I wanted to disagree, but he was right. I would be the same popular, trendy, ignorant person that I was before. In fact, I still was all of those things. I said nothing and looked down at the ground.
"Rachel, I like you, I really like you. It's funny how things work out. Being an Animorph is the best thing that ever happened to me, probably mostly because I got to know you."
Well, that got my attention. "I'm not used to you being so forward like this, Tobias," I said lamely. It was all I could think of.
"Neither am I," he replied with a nervous laugh. I could tell he just as surprised himself by what he had said.
"I like you too. A lot." That was the truth, I realized. I looked up at his face, his human face. It was only a few inches away from mine. "I'm just gonna have to deal with this two hour human thing. Sorry about me, Tobias. I'm just being dumb. I care a lot about you, and I know you care about me too." We were silent for a few seconds. His head was tilting, ever so slightly, toward mine. I knew what he was hoping for. I was hoping for it too, but if you couldn't tell already, I was in an incredibly confused mood. "I don't feel like this conversation is getting anywhere. We've accomplished absolutely nothing."
Our faces were now about three inches apart, and Tobias stopped his downward tilt, still the shy teen afraid to do anything too drastic.
I decided to throw my doubts out the window. I didn't care about them anymore. I quickly bent my head up toward him, and our lips pressed together. I meant it to be a short kiss, but lingered there as he kissed me back...when I finally pulled away, it had been a few seconds. "Well, I think that counts as accomplishing something," Tobias said quietly. He was blushing. So was I. We stood there for a little while, ignoring thoughts about the Yeerks, about morphing, about anything that had to do with saving the world. For that one moment, we were just two simple teenagers with a happy, simple relationship.
I realized later that I hadn't exactly been nice to T. T. The next day in school, whenever I passed by him in the halls he completely ignored me. I was starting to feel a little bad for him. And since I was in an already guilty mood, I found myself walking over to him in the lunch line.
"Sorry I was so mean to you the other day," I blurted out. So much for tact. I wasn't used to apologizing. "That, well, doesn't mean I changed my answer to 'yes'," I added quickly. His face fell. "I was just saying sorry."
He looked at me with an emotionless expression. "Don't worry about it," he answered quietly.
"Okay, well--" I started to turn around and leave.
"Oh! Um...sorry I called you a--"
"Don't worry about it," I answered. I turned around and left, feeling not exactly comfortable, but not guilty anymore, about anything. That felt good.
After all, what's the point in going out with someone who can't help you save the world? I thought about Tobias as I walked over to my lunch table and began to eat. I didn't care if his lunch consisted of mice anymore. I would just have to accept it. Just like I had accepted every other bizarre aspect of my life. Principally, turning into animals to fight evil alien parasites, I thought with a smile.