Tingles
by
Disclaimer: Not mine. Lucasfilm, please don't sue.
Author's Note: I am a firm believer in the original trilogy, and have previously refused to write any TPM-centered fic. But I watched it again last night, and just saw something that called out to me, to write.
Summary: Just a moment during which Anakin and Amidala grow closer. 5 and 6 years post-The Phantom Menace.
Rating: PG
I know he's there. Silent. Stealthy. Everything a young Jedi apprentice should be. Except that I doubt the Jedi council would approve of where he is, at the moment.
It's been five years, five long, pain-filled years since the battle against the Trade Federation. I've only seen Ani twice. Once, when he was twelve, and once last year. He's grown amazingly, even since then. But that's to be expected in a young teenager, I know. It wasn't that many years ago that I was one.
The lake is calm, and so clear that the bottom is visible, twenty or thirty feet below. Several of my handmaidens refuse to accompany me here when I ask, telling me in confidence that the vertigo the lake inspires often overwhelms them. But it doesn't bother me.
My clothes lie on the bank in the hot summer sun, and I know they will be warm when I return to them. My hair is loose, and I feel free in the absence of all the daily make-up, clothing, and hair-do's.
Captain Panaka and several other guards stand fifty feet away, surrounding the lake, with their backs turned. Had any other man gotten through, I would have been very disappointed in them, but Anakin is good, and I recognize this. Try as I might, I cannot see him, though my body tingles with the knowledge that he is close.
I look for his shadow on the ground, hoping to catch a glimpse of his lithe young form. Then I look at the trees, surreptitiously at first, then abandoning all hope of appearing subtle. "Anakin," I call softly. "I know you're there."
A moment later, the brush rattles, and the young Jedi apprentice steps sheepishly from the brush, looking everywhere but my naked body. I smile at his discomfort. "Hello, Ani," I greet him, no differently than usual.
He refuses to meet my gaze, looking only at the sand. "I'm sorry, Padme," He says softly. He still calls me that, an affectionate nickname, though he has known now for a long time, that it isn't my real name.
I smile. "It's alright." And it is. Anakin may be embarrassed at his presence while I am naked, but I'm not. He's fourteen, and curious, and I remember being his age. Besides, I've long since come to the realization that a body is just a shell. Something to paint colorfully, and show to the outside world as if it is of utmost importance, but to personally view as only a casing. A housing that the real person lives inside, not is made up of.
"I... I have to go," He stutters, turning on his heel. An amused smile still paints my face as I watch him go, and I can see Captain Panaka's half-turned form in the distance, watching the young Jedi out of the corner of his vision, a similarly tolerant expression on his face.
"Alright."
Anakin is only a few steps farther away, when he remembers something, and turns to face me. Of course, he still refuses to actually look at me, which I find kind of adorable. "Padme?" He asks, staring at his feet.
"Yes, Anakin?"
"Don't tell Obi-Wan? Please?"
I smile at him, drawing his eyes to mine for the first time. "I won't."
The young Jedi hurries away, down the path from the lake, and I resume my swim. But the image stays with me much longer than the real boy's presence.
********
It's been several months since Anakin and Obi-Wan came to visit Naboo. I wonder now what they're doing here, but I don't dare ask, and risk jinxing my good luck. For whatever reason, Anakin spent his fifteenth birthday here, and I got to attend the first of his birthday parties ever.
He still watches me a lot. At first, when he was twelve, I wondered what the funny, tingling sensation in my skin was, and decided to ask Obi-Wan. The older Jedi Knight told me that all beings have ability in the Force, it's just a matter of being able to tap it. He also told me that a tingling sensation is probably my own minute ability to tap the Force, trying to tell me something. A danger sense was the first thing he thought of, but nothing bad had ever befallen me while feeling the odd sensation.
Then, one day, I caught a glimpse of sandy blond hair and bright blue eyes, watching me, not really spying on me, but just observing my daily motions, and I knew. Sometimes, like that day at the lake, I take notice, tell him that I realize he's there, but mostly, I just smile, and get on with my day.
It's actually kind of comforting, to know that he's there. Sometimes, when the night is dark, and the air is cold, and I know there are security guards around every entrance to this place, it scares me to realize how powerful I am. And how much a potential target. I may be a seasoned fighter and ruler, but I'm also just a young woman, almost still a girl, trying to figure things out about the universe, and especially, just the little part of it we live in.
Tonight's one of those nights. As I ponder the attack upon the front gate this morning, in which Captain Panaka was injured, thank the Force not seriously, I think about death, and why I'm here, and what purpose life has in this vast galaxy.
And Anakin's outside the window.
It's three stories high, and I know he probably climbed. Why he does this for me, I don't really know. I feel a little guilty, sometimes, knowing that he fills his days and nights with my life, but he's determined. Every second he spends on this planet, he is either training with Obi-Wan, actually with me, or watching me, from a distance. At his insistence that he wanted to be near me, he also has a standing post as a temporary advisor to the queen whenever he's here. That way, he never has to go home when I have a delegation, and it also gives me a Jedi insight into certain suspicious characters.
The window is open, and I know that I must be quiet, or Sabe or one of the others will come check on me. "Anakin," I whisper, and his face appears in the window, framed, as usual, by the sandy blond, little-bit-too-long hair and traditional Padawan braid.
"Hello, Padme," He greets me, and I smile at him. It's hard not to.
The young Jedi apprentice climbs silently in the window, slipping to the floor without a sound. I sit up in bed, and motion for him to join me, which he happily does. We sit there for long moments, not talking, but he understands, and he knows what I want.
He kicks off his boots, and goes to lie down. I stop him gently, and start to unbutton his top. "It's hot, Ani. You'll bake in this much clothing."
He nods, and allows me to undress his upper torso, and roll up his loose pant legs. Then I lie down on the bed, and he snuggles me up against him, his front to my back, perfectly spooned. Just enough room between us for the air to pass through, so that we don't overheat each other. Then, Anakin sleeps, and I think.
I want to take this... whatever it is between us further. But he's only a boy, and trying to deal with becoming a Jedi Knight, at the same time. I don't want to complicate his life further by adding a queen with romantic intentions towards him into the mix.
"You already have," Comes a soft voice. I know he didn't read my mind on purpose, because he would never do that to me, not without my permission, but somehow, there is just a connection, that seems it can't be severed. And sometimes, he just knows what I'm thinking.
I roll over. "I thought you were asleep," I tell him.
He smiles. "I was. But your thoughts are awfully loud when you worry, Amidala." He only calls me by my real name during serious conversations, or when we're in public.
I blush a little, hiding it with the finesse of a queen. "I'm sorry."
"There's nothing to be sorry about."
"But I didn't want to worry you with my concerns. If I had, I would have spoken aloud."
Anakin nods. "If you don't want to discuss it, then I never heard."
How did I end up this lucky? "I don't mind that you heard, Ani. I just don't want to make your life harder. You need to concentrate on your training."
He smiles. "I do. And you're right, that I'm too young. But one day, I won't be, and I'm glad to finally know that you care for me... that way."
I give him a soft, unsure smile. "I do, Ani," I tell him softly.
He kisses my forehead, and pulls me closer to him. I curl into his lanky form, wondering how he got so tall. When I first met him, I had to kneel down to be on his level. He was a small nine-year-old. But now, he's outgrown me by a definite amount, something that shouldn't surprise me, considering that I'm so small.
"With a big personality," Ani whispers, and I smile. There's a long pause. Then he asks me something I'm not surprised to hear, just not really sure how to answer. "Amidala, how do you always know when I'm around?"
I look at his chest, right before my eyes. I can hardly see, the room is so dark, but I don't mind. I don't need any more fantasizing material right now.
"Tingles," I tell him.
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