Title: In The Blink Of An Eye: Good-bye
Author: Stephanie aka Dana_Starling
Summary: Scully had a feeling it was all too good to be true. She was right.
Spoilers: 'All Things', 'Requiem', and 'Existence'.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: They're not mine, they're his. You know who I speak of! (Chris_i'm god_Carter)
In The Blink Of An Eye: Good-bye
"Mulder! Mulder, come back!" I screamed subconsciously as the doctor shook me awake. I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep. The last thing I remembered was my mother coming and taking William, who hadn't stopped crying from the minute we entered the hospital.
"Mrs. Mulder, are you all right?"
"Yes, I'm fine. How is he?" I was so filled with concern for Mulder that I didn't even bother to correct him. I'd come so close to losing him countless times in the past, that I didn't know if I could handle it again.
"Well, as you know, your husband has been suffering from some medical problems which involve a tumor that has been growing in his brain. He's undergone two previous surgeries to remove the tumor in the past and I was reluctant to perform another, figuring it pointless at this point in time."
"I don't care what it takes! You have to do everything in your power to ensure he lives. I don't care if you've deemed the procedure pointless, just do it!"
"I figured you'd say that, so I went ahead with the surgery. It appeared to be a success. No abnormalities, his vitals were good. But then he began to bleed uncontrollably and went into cardiac arrest."
"What are you saying? I asked suddenly finding it hard to breath. We'd been in so many life threatening situations before involving giant fluke worms, and liver eating mutants that I never thought I'd lose him like this. To something so simple, and so mundane as a brain tumor.
"He's lost a lot of blood and..."
"Is he going to make it?"
"I'm going to be honest with you, Mrs.Mulder. It doesn't look good." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't want to believe it.
"Where is he?"
"He's in room 504, but he's unconscious, and I don't know if..." I ignored him and opened the door of Mulder's room. When I saw him lying in his hospital bed, he looked so weak and vulnerable. I wanted more then anything to be able to protect him from the road that lied ahead. But I was powerless to stop it, and that hurt like hell. I walked shakily to his bedside and took his hand in mine. As I felt how cold and empty he was, the tears began to well up inside and I realized how many times we'd been in this exact same situation before. For some reason, this time felt different. Rationality had set in, and I realized that this was it. Mulder was dying, and there's not a damn thing I could do about it.
My legs grew weak, and I fell to my knees by his bedside. I placed my head on his chest and just burst into tears. I didn't want to think. I just wanted to savor these last precious moments I had left, with the man I loved. That's when I realized I never told him. I never told him that I loved him.
"Mulder, can you hear me? You've got to listen to me ok? You have to fight this. I know you're weak, and I know it's hard, but you have to fight it. I can't do this without you. I don't want to. I love you so much. I always have, you know? Well, maybe not always. There was a time, in the beginning where I didn't trust you, and I know you didn't trust me either. But that all changed for me during my bout with cancer. You fought so hard to save me. You went to hell and back in order let me survive. And now it's my turn to save you. I need you. William needs you. You can't leave us. Not now. Not like this! Oh god, Mulder I love you."
"And I love you."
"Mulder?"
"Hey, you" The sound of his voice only added to my grief. I began to cry once again. I had always been the strong one. Never showed my vulnerability, but the mere thought of never seeing his face or hearing his voice sent me over the edge.
"Scully, don't cry. I hate it when you cry."
"I can't help it. I don't want to lose you Mulder. It's taken us so long to get here and now you're leaving me forever." I laid my head on his chest and continued sobbing uncontrollably. He gently ran his fingers through my hair in an attempt to calm me down.
"I'll always be with you, Scully. But I must follow on the road that lies ahead. And I won't let my heart control my head. But you are my only. And as I make my journey through eternity, I'll keep the memory of you and me inside." I lifted my head from his chest and stared into his eyes. His eyes that were once filled with energy and enthusiasm, now seemed empty and lifeless. I had to fight the tears from once again pouring down my face in an endless waterfall of emotion."Promise me something, Scully."
"Anything."
"Fulfill your destiny. It's there within our child. Protect him from all the harm that was bestowed upon us. He is a symbol of our love for one another and the truth we fought so hard to uncover. And promise me this. Promise me that you'll remember the good times we shared. Although they may be few and hard to locate in the covert locations of our so called life. And forgive me for all the harm I caused you through my endless pursuit for the truth. Because in the end Scully, none of it matters now. Nothing else matters except for you. And I had you all along. Please don't forget me."
"No Mulder, no! Don't leave me!" I screamed as I saw the life slowly begin to fade from his body. "It's too soon! I'm not ready! I can't....I can't say...."
"We don't say goodbye. With all my love for you, and what else we may do. We don't say.......goodbye." I felt him draw his last breath and he was gone. Gone forever.
Author's Notes: Part three (In the Blink Of An Eye: Brand New Angel, coming soon)
Author: Stephanie aka Dana_Starling
Summary: Scully had a feeling it was all too good to be true. She was right.
Spoilers: 'All Things', 'Requiem', and 'Existence'.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: They're not mine, they're his. You know who I speak of! (Chris_i'm god_Carter)
In The Blink Of An Eye: Good-bye
"Mulder! Mulder, come back!" I screamed subconsciously as the doctor shook me awake. I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep. The last thing I remembered was my mother coming and taking William, who hadn't stopped crying from the minute we entered the hospital.
"Mrs. Mulder, are you all right?"
"Yes, I'm fine. How is he?" I was so filled with concern for Mulder that I didn't even bother to correct him. I'd come so close to losing him countless times in the past, that I didn't know if I could handle it again.
"Well, as you know, your husband has been suffering from some medical problems which involve a tumor that has been growing in his brain. He's undergone two previous surgeries to remove the tumor in the past and I was reluctant to perform another, figuring it pointless at this point in time."
"I don't care what it takes! You have to do everything in your power to ensure he lives. I don't care if you've deemed the procedure pointless, just do it!"
"I figured you'd say that, so I went ahead with the surgery. It appeared to be a success. No abnormalities, his vitals were good. But then he began to bleed uncontrollably and went into cardiac arrest."
"What are you saying? I asked suddenly finding it hard to breath. We'd been in so many life threatening situations before involving giant fluke worms, and liver eating mutants that I never thought I'd lose him like this. To something so simple, and so mundane as a brain tumor.
"He's lost a lot of blood and..."
"Is he going to make it?"
"I'm going to be honest with you, Mrs.Mulder. It doesn't look good." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't want to believe it.
"Where is he?"
"He's in room 504, but he's unconscious, and I don't know if..." I ignored him and opened the door of Mulder's room. When I saw him lying in his hospital bed, he looked so weak and vulnerable. I wanted more then anything to be able to protect him from the road that lied ahead. But I was powerless to stop it, and that hurt like hell. I walked shakily to his bedside and took his hand in mine. As I felt how cold and empty he was, the tears began to well up inside and I realized how many times we'd been in this exact same situation before. For some reason, this time felt different. Rationality had set in, and I realized that this was it. Mulder was dying, and there's not a damn thing I could do about it.
My legs grew weak, and I fell to my knees by his bedside. I placed my head on his chest and just burst into tears. I didn't want to think. I just wanted to savor these last precious moments I had left, with the man I loved. That's when I realized I never told him. I never told him that I loved him.
"Mulder, can you hear me? You've got to listen to me ok? You have to fight this. I know you're weak, and I know it's hard, but you have to fight it. I can't do this without you. I don't want to. I love you so much. I always have, you know? Well, maybe not always. There was a time, in the beginning where I didn't trust you, and I know you didn't trust me either. But that all changed for me during my bout with cancer. You fought so hard to save me. You went to hell and back in order let me survive. And now it's my turn to save you. I need you. William needs you. You can't leave us. Not now. Not like this! Oh god, Mulder I love you."
"And I love you."
"Mulder?"
"Hey, you" The sound of his voice only added to my grief. I began to cry once again. I had always been the strong one. Never showed my vulnerability, but the mere thought of never seeing his face or hearing his voice sent me over the edge.
"Scully, don't cry. I hate it when you cry."
"I can't help it. I don't want to lose you Mulder. It's taken us so long to get here and now you're leaving me forever." I laid my head on his chest and continued sobbing uncontrollably. He gently ran his fingers through my hair in an attempt to calm me down.
"I'll always be with you, Scully. But I must follow on the road that lies ahead. And I won't let my heart control my head. But you are my only. And as I make my journey through eternity, I'll keep the memory of you and me inside." I lifted my head from his chest and stared into his eyes. His eyes that were once filled with energy and enthusiasm, now seemed empty and lifeless. I had to fight the tears from once again pouring down my face in an endless waterfall of emotion."Promise me something, Scully."
"Anything."
"Fulfill your destiny. It's there within our child. Protect him from all the harm that was bestowed upon us. He is a symbol of our love for one another and the truth we fought so hard to uncover. And promise me this. Promise me that you'll remember the good times we shared. Although they may be few and hard to locate in the covert locations of our so called life. And forgive me for all the harm I caused you through my endless pursuit for the truth. Because in the end Scully, none of it matters now. Nothing else matters except for you. And I had you all along. Please don't forget me."
"No Mulder, no! Don't leave me!" I screamed as I saw the life slowly begin to fade from his body. "It's too soon! I'm not ready! I can't....I can't say...."
"We don't say goodbye. With all my love for you, and what else we may do. We don't say.......goodbye." I felt him draw his last breath and he was gone. Gone forever.
Author's Notes: Part three (In the Blink Of An Eye: Brand New Angel, coming soon)