Title: In The Blink Of An Eye: Brand New Angel
Author: Stephanie aka Dana_Starling
Summary: Scully had a feeling it was all too good to be true. She was right.
Spoilers: 'All Things', 'Requiem', and 'Existence' .
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine, never have been, never will be.
In The Blink Of An Eye: Brand New Angel
Skinner and Agent Dogget had just entered your hospital room, but I didn't acknowledge their presence. I just laid their on top of you. Clinging to your now lifeless body with some blind hope that you would once again defy all logic and find your way back to me.
"Come on Agent Scully, let's get you out of here." Skinner said in a soothing tone as he placed his hand on my shoulder.
"No! He's not dead! He can't be! He'll came back again, just you wait! I screamed at the top of my lungs more in an effort to convince myself rather then them.
"I know this is going to be hard, Agent Scully, but you have to except it." Agent Dogget said while pulling me away from your body.
"Tell me, Agent Dogget. How does one except the unexceptable?" By the look on his face I could tell I had made my point. I walked right pass the two men out of the room, out of the hospital, and into a world that now seemed empty and meaningless.
As if I were some sort of mindless clone, I got in the car and sped out of the parking lot. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't care. I drove for hours through neighborhoods and cities and towns. Where people were raising families, and buying homes, and playing with their kids and their dogs. I once complained to you that that was the kind of normality I wanted in my life. But now that you're gone I realize all I ever really wanted was you.
I just kept on driving. I didn't stop for anything. Not for stop signs, not for red lights. I was determined to drive non stop until the inevitable came when I would run out of gas.
The sun was beginning to disappear and the moon was taking it's rightful place in the sky. I continued my high speed chase against myself and my mournful emotions. Hoping that my sudden need for speed would fill the gaping whole that now resided in my heart, I decided I would never stop. Not even at the train tracks up ahead, where the warning bells were ringing and the protective bar was beginning to descend.
But I did stop. Not of my own accord mind you, but nevertheless I stopped. Not behind the protective bar where I was meant to wait, but directly on the tracks.
I was determined to see you again, no matter what the cost. Even if it meant taking my own life in the process.
I stared blankly out the car window at the oncoming train. The light of the engine that was once small and almost unnoticeable was becoming larger and brighter to symbolize its close proximity.
The tracks began to shake as the train approached my car. I grabbed the passenger seat for stability and my hand brushed against something. I looked down and saw William's pacifier staring back at me accusingly. And then I remembered what you made me promise you. That I wouldn't let the same horrors that were bestowed upon us happen to him. I wouldn't exactly be living up to that promise if I killed myself and left him an orphan.
I quickly stepped on the gas and sped off the tracks just before the train came whizzing by. I buried my face in my hands and allowed the tears to once again seep from my eyes.
Despite my religious up bringing, I found myself cursing God for taking you away from me.'Everything happens for a reason. It's all part of God's plan.' It's all a bunch of bull shit if you ask me. What possible reason could there be for God to take you away from me now. Now, when everything we'd ever wanted and hoped for finally seemed possible. If that was indeed God's plan, then I must have done some horrible things to deserve the hand I was being dealt.
As I unlocked the door to my apartment, I was engulfed by the aroma of my mother's cooking, fabric softener, and William's unmistakable smell. I had always heard that babies had a wonderful scent, but only when the doctor placed him in my arms for the first time did I find out how true that was.
I knew my mother would come running out of the kitchen any minute now offering condolences, I just wasn't in the mood to hear. So, instead of waiting around for the inevitable to come, I walked straight passed the kitchen and into William's nursery. He was laying in his crib, staring back at me, eyes wide with curiosity. I picked him up and just held him. I never wanted to let him go. And just as I knew she would my mother came running into the room.
"Dana, are you all right? I'm so sorry....."
"Please not now, mom. I just need to be alone."
"Are you sure, sweet heart?"
"Yes. I'm sure." I said on the verge of tears as I looked down at William and saw Mulder in his eyes. I never noticed how how much they looked alike. I was well aware of the fact that I was probably only seeing what I wanted to see, but I didn't care.
"I'll be back in the morning, Dana. Call me if you need anything." my mother said as she came over to where I was seated on the rocking chair and kissed my forehead. I tried to muster up a smile, but it was no use.
I was both relived and upset as I heard my mother close the door behind her. It had never been more blatantly clear then at that moment, how truly alone I really was.
William was all I had left, and I vowed that I would never let anything happen to him. I would protect him from all the evil in the world and harm would never come to my beautiful baby boy. In all rationality, I knew that was impossible. Pain and sadness were part of life, and William would have to experience them eventually. I just hoped it wouldn't be to the extent that I had endured.
William was starting to fall asleep, so I placed him back in his crib and kissed him goodnight.
"I love you so much and so does your daddy. And no matter what, he'll always be a part of you." he looked up at me, yawned, and fell asleep. He was so careless and free. He had no idea of what had happened. I found myself envying his innocence as I shut off the nursery lights and wondered into my bedroom.
As I entered the room all the events that had taken place there just a few short hours ago all came flooding back. And so did the tears. I flung myself onto the bed and curled up in a fetal position. I had a feeling that would be the first of many nights I cried myself to sleep.
I was abruptly awakened from a not so peaceful sleep by the sound of my alarm clock. It was 7:30am. I was puzzled as to why I hadn't been awakened much early by William's hungry cries.' He's probably just tired from all the stress of last night.' I thought to my self as I got out of bed and headed to the nursery.
As I made my way towards his crib, I was concerned by his lack of movement. As I got closer, I saw his cheeks that were once rosy were now a sort of purplish blue. His little eyes were closed, and his arms laid motionless at his sides.
"William, William baby wake up!" I screamed as I reached down to pick him up. His tiny little body was ice cold and lifeless. I frantically felt for a pulse. There wasn't one. William was dead.
Author's Notes: Part 3, In The Blink Of An Eye: Together Forever, coming soon.
Author: Stephanie aka Dana_Starling
Summary: Scully had a feeling it was all too good to be true. She was right.
Spoilers: 'All Things', 'Requiem', and 'Existence' .
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine, never have been, never will be.
In The Blink Of An Eye: Brand New Angel
Skinner and Agent Dogget had just entered your hospital room, but I didn't acknowledge their presence. I just laid their on top of you. Clinging to your now lifeless body with some blind hope that you would once again defy all logic and find your way back to me.
"Come on Agent Scully, let's get you out of here." Skinner said in a soothing tone as he placed his hand on my shoulder.
"No! He's not dead! He can't be! He'll came back again, just you wait! I screamed at the top of my lungs more in an effort to convince myself rather then them.
"I know this is going to be hard, Agent Scully, but you have to except it." Agent Dogget said while pulling me away from your body.
"Tell me, Agent Dogget. How does one except the unexceptable?" By the look on his face I could tell I had made my point. I walked right pass the two men out of the room, out of the hospital, and into a world that now seemed empty and meaningless.
As if I were some sort of mindless clone, I got in the car and sped out of the parking lot. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't care. I drove for hours through neighborhoods and cities and towns. Where people were raising families, and buying homes, and playing with their kids and their dogs. I once complained to you that that was the kind of normality I wanted in my life. But now that you're gone I realize all I ever really wanted was you.
I just kept on driving. I didn't stop for anything. Not for stop signs, not for red lights. I was determined to drive non stop until the inevitable came when I would run out of gas.
The sun was beginning to disappear and the moon was taking it's rightful place in the sky. I continued my high speed chase against myself and my mournful emotions. Hoping that my sudden need for speed would fill the gaping whole that now resided in my heart, I decided I would never stop. Not even at the train tracks up ahead, where the warning bells were ringing and the protective bar was beginning to descend.
But I did stop. Not of my own accord mind you, but nevertheless I stopped. Not behind the protective bar where I was meant to wait, but directly on the tracks.
I was determined to see you again, no matter what the cost. Even if it meant taking my own life in the process.
I stared blankly out the car window at the oncoming train. The light of the engine that was once small and almost unnoticeable was becoming larger and brighter to symbolize its close proximity.
The tracks began to shake as the train approached my car. I grabbed the passenger seat for stability and my hand brushed against something. I looked down and saw William's pacifier staring back at me accusingly. And then I remembered what you made me promise you. That I wouldn't let the same horrors that were bestowed upon us happen to him. I wouldn't exactly be living up to that promise if I killed myself and left him an orphan.
I quickly stepped on the gas and sped off the tracks just before the train came whizzing by. I buried my face in my hands and allowed the tears to once again seep from my eyes.
Despite my religious up bringing, I found myself cursing God for taking you away from me.'Everything happens for a reason. It's all part of God's plan.' It's all a bunch of bull shit if you ask me. What possible reason could there be for God to take you away from me now. Now, when everything we'd ever wanted and hoped for finally seemed possible. If that was indeed God's plan, then I must have done some horrible things to deserve the hand I was being dealt.
As I unlocked the door to my apartment, I was engulfed by the aroma of my mother's cooking, fabric softener, and William's unmistakable smell. I had always heard that babies had a wonderful scent, but only when the doctor placed him in my arms for the first time did I find out how true that was.
I knew my mother would come running out of the kitchen any minute now offering condolences, I just wasn't in the mood to hear. So, instead of waiting around for the inevitable to come, I walked straight passed the kitchen and into William's nursery. He was laying in his crib, staring back at me, eyes wide with curiosity. I picked him up and just held him. I never wanted to let him go. And just as I knew she would my mother came running into the room.
"Dana, are you all right? I'm so sorry....."
"Please not now, mom. I just need to be alone."
"Are you sure, sweet heart?"
"Yes. I'm sure." I said on the verge of tears as I looked down at William and saw Mulder in his eyes. I never noticed how how much they looked alike. I was well aware of the fact that I was probably only seeing what I wanted to see, but I didn't care.
"I'll be back in the morning, Dana. Call me if you need anything." my mother said as she came over to where I was seated on the rocking chair and kissed my forehead. I tried to muster up a smile, but it was no use.
I was both relived and upset as I heard my mother close the door behind her. It had never been more blatantly clear then at that moment, how truly alone I really was.
William was all I had left, and I vowed that I would never let anything happen to him. I would protect him from all the evil in the world and harm would never come to my beautiful baby boy. In all rationality, I knew that was impossible. Pain and sadness were part of life, and William would have to experience them eventually. I just hoped it wouldn't be to the extent that I had endured.
William was starting to fall asleep, so I placed him back in his crib and kissed him goodnight.
"I love you so much and so does your daddy. And no matter what, he'll always be a part of you." he looked up at me, yawned, and fell asleep. He was so careless and free. He had no idea of what had happened. I found myself envying his innocence as I shut off the nursery lights and wondered into my bedroom.
As I entered the room all the events that had taken place there just a few short hours ago all came flooding back. And so did the tears. I flung myself onto the bed and curled up in a fetal position. I had a feeling that would be the first of many nights I cried myself to sleep.
I was abruptly awakened from a not so peaceful sleep by the sound of my alarm clock. It was 7:30am. I was puzzled as to why I hadn't been awakened much early by William's hungry cries.' He's probably just tired from all the stress of last night.' I thought to my self as I got out of bed and headed to the nursery.
As I made my way towards his crib, I was concerned by his lack of movement. As I got closer, I saw his cheeks that were once rosy were now a sort of purplish blue. His little eyes were closed, and his arms laid motionless at his sides.
"William, William baby wake up!" I screamed as I reached down to pick him up. His tiny little body was ice cold and lifeless. I frantically felt for a pulse. There wasn't one. William was dead.
Author's Notes: Part 3, In The Blink Of An Eye: Together Forever, coming soon.