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Chapter 3- Assertion with Dumbledore
Posted June 31st
Severus
excited the library, with a friendly wave at Madam Pince. She smiled at him. It
was nice to know he would have a teacher on his side constantly next year, if
ever it came in handy. And it probably would; he was not known amongst his
peers for his charisma. Most of the pupils at Hogwarts looked down at him. They
were most likely resentful because he always knew all the answers.
Well,
he'd rather be intelligent and alone than stupid and surrounded by other stupid
people.
He
walked down the corridors, in search of Momma. She'd been moody ever since that
mysterious urgent call from Dumbledore yesterday. He wondered lightly if it had
to do with that new manipulator that seemed to be in the Daily Prophet
incessantly. Lord Vorte-something?
Whatever
his name, he causing quite a ruckus lately, holding little meetings to discuss
how Mudbloods were degrading to the wizard name. According to the Daily
Prophet, a representitive from the Ministry had said- "If he puts one toe out
of line, he's going to Azkaban for sure. At the moment everything he's doing is
perfectly legal."
Severus
continued down the corridor, then stopped abruptly.
Further
down, two people were arguing in soft voices—almost calm, yet almost outrage.
On the borderline somewhere.
"And
while we're on that subject Carla, I'm a little concerned about Severus'
attachment to you. It's not, shall we say, natural. . ."
"Headmaster,
you obviously still have a lot to learn about tact. And there is nothing,
absolutely nothing unnatural about Sevvy. He's just a little shy."
There
was a pause, it seemed like Dumbledore was having trouble thinking of something
tactful to say.
"I—well,
how is your son's relationship with his father?"
"His
father?" Momma spat out, in a bitter voice that made Severus cringe and take a
few tentative steps backwards.
"Carla.
. . you know what I mean."
"Yes
I do, Headmaster, and it's none of your business. None at all. I'm willing to
help you with this Voldemort dilemma, but bringing my personal life into this
discussion is going out of line. . ."
Severus
thought it would be a good idea to retreat now, in case his mother came
bursting out. He'd never heard her that angry before, it was frightening. And
about him! It wasn't everyday he wandered into such an interesting altercation
like that, and he'd never eavesdropped on anything about himself.
Why
had his mother reacted that way to the question about his relationship with his
father? Did she know that "good ol' dad" was beating him? Was that why she had
become so . . . irate and defensive? What where those exact words again?
I—well,
how is your son's relationship with his father?
His
father?
Carla.
. . you know what I mean.
If
someone had repeated that segment of their conversation to him, he would have
found it to be a perfectly normal dialogue. But he'd heard it. He'd heard the
way Momma's voice had changed when she'd said- "His father?
She'd
spoken in such a bitter way, as if Dumbledore had poured salt into her wounds.
Was there something about his father that Severus didn't know? Was there some
buried secret--some hidden skeleton?
And
when Dumbledore had replied, in that apologetic tone . . . he knew something
too. He knew IT, whatever IT was.
IT
was big.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Later,
contemplating the overheard discussion again, Severus wondered if he should be
upset about Dumbledore thinking he was abnormal. Actually though, it didn't
bother him too much. Matter of fact, he probably was.
He was sitting in his room, slouched over a book, and thinking hard. He
was so focused on his thoughts that he didn't even know what he was reading.
Ironically, if that was the right word, just as he was thinking of
Dumbledore, the man walked in.
"Hello Severus. What are you reading?" Dumbledore said, smiling his
customary jovial smile.
"Uh—" he quickly checked the binder. "It appears the title is Really
Hard Stuff for Bored Minds. Madam Pince got it for me at Flourish and Botts;
she seemed to think it was funny and would fit me well."
Dumbledore chuckled. "Well, I must agree with her. Do you think you
could part from your book for a bit, and come up to my office? I need some help
with some letters, I was wondering if you would like to help me?"
Severus nodded, shutting his book without leaving a bookmark.
He'd never been in Dumbledore's office, but Momma had told him it was
the most wonderfully tranquil place in the castle. As Severus stepped inside
for the first time, he had to agree.
The whole atmosphere of the room was beckoning, welcoming. It was
saying- "Sit down, son, and tell me all your problems." The walls were lined
with bookshelves, which were filled with books and oddments that meant nothing
to Severus himself, but to Dumbledore perhaps they meant the world. There was a
gentle fire crackling in the background, and the floor was covered with an
elegant burgundy carpet--the kind that made you want to slip off your shoes and
socks and take a long nap.
There was a desk, and this was where Dumbledore lead him. Severus sat
down in the plump chair that was situated in front of the cluttered workspace.
Dumbledore
sat across from him, and peered at him queerly.
Severus twitched. The elderly man's pure blue eyes always had a strange
effect on him. . . he always felt naked, as if the man were stripping him down,
tearing off his bones and skins and revealing his soul; his deepest, most
private inner thoughts.
"Er
. . . sir, you said you had some work for me to do?"
"Ah!
Yes, I'd forgotten my purpose for bringing you up here. I have a whole stack of
envelopes that need to be addressed. Let me get them."
The much-adored headmaster disappeared for a few seconds, and Severus
sat motionless in the chair. He looked at the shelves behind the desk, and
noticed a shiny cabinet. It had a simple handle one that would probably open
with a simple twist of the wrist.
Was it wrong of him to want to look in the cabinet? Momma would
certainly not approve. Not like there would be anything of importance in the
cabinet anyway. Perhaps just some old papers and documents.
"Ah, here you go Severus." Dumbledore reappeared, carrying an armful of
envelopes, and a quill. "I have another sheet of paper . . . aha, here it is,
with all the addresses on it. I'm willing to pay you for your assistance . . ."
"Oh no," Severus said quickly, shaking his head vigorously. Momma
wouldn't have wanted him to take money. "I'm glad to do this for you."
Dumbledore smiled keenly at him. "Why, thank you my boy."
They worked in a silence for a few minutes, Dumbledore scribbling on a
pad of parchment, and him copying addresses.
"Do you like it here, Severus?" Dumbledore asked him, not even looking
up from his writing.
"Er . . . yeah—I mean yes. I really do." Severus said, a bit flustered.
Did the man always ask questions so suddenly?
"Do you miss Snape Manor?"
"Oh, sure." Severus said, trying to be circumspect about what came out
of his mouth.
"'Oh, Sure'? Not too convincing, Severus. Tell me, to allay my
curiosity, where do you like living better?"
Severus froze. Okay. Should he tell the truth, or save himself from
(possibly) more beatings. "Well, I . . . there are strong positive points about
each place."
"Really. Now, I may sound nosy, but what are they?" Dumbledore said, his
quill continuing to swish back and force in smooth movements.
Yes. You sound completely nosy.
"Well, for one, Snape Manor is very beautiful. Actually, so is Hogwarts,
but in a different way. Snape Manor is elegant. Hogwarts is cozy. Snape Manor
is more manageable, I mean I can get around there a lot easier than here.
Hogwarts however, is more exciting. Hidden rooms, wandering rooms, and rooms
that have no purpose . . . I really like it. It's like a gigantic riddle here,
one that you can never figure out. And I'm always so comfortable here. I feel
great walking down the hall in my socks and nightgown . . . I don't ever feel
self-conscious or out of place." Severus realized he'd been overdoing it a bit
on Hogwarts, and shut up.
"Go on . . . Unless it's making you uncomfortable . . ."
"Er . . . That's pretty much all I have to say, sir."
He suddenly remembered the conversation that he'd heard Momma and
Dumbledore having earlier. Dumbledore's questioning about his father. He was
prying too much. He had no right.
"Well. Tell me about your family?" Dumbledore asked. Severus didn't for
one instant believe that the headmaster's casual tone was genuine.
"My mother is great. She's nice to me, and supportive. And . . ." Time
to throw in a little fib. "My father is great too. We always do stuff together.
He sent me a letter, telling me how much he missed me. We're very close, you
know. He teaches me charms like Momma does. Helps me out a bit." He concluded
this wonderful, fictional masterpiece, and stared straight at Dumbledore.
The man looked startled for a second, but quickly regained his
composure. "Is that so? How nice. I'm happy."
"Yes. I bet you are." Severus tried hard to keep the hostility out of
his voice.
Dumbledore should just keep his large nose out of his family's business.
As a matter of fact, the man actually did have a large nose, but that was
beside the point.
Severus hurried, finishing his addressing job. He was not sad to say
that he was leaving.
"Well. Very good job, Severus. Are you sure you don't want any money?"
What harm would it do?
"If you insist, I'm willing," he said, holding out his hand to an
astonished Dumbledore. Clearly, the man hadn't mastered the skill of hiding his
emotions yet, a talent Severus had acquired on the day of his birth.
Severus walked away cheerfully, money whooshing around in his pocket.
Things were looking good. It felt great to . . . to . . . be the boss. Be in
charge. Have his way, have his say. Some might look at his little conversation
with Dumbledore as very insignificant, but for him . . . it meant a lot. He was
becoming stronger. More . . . assertive.
A
little more practice, and he might be ready to stand up to his father.
