Grey v Grey

by bluesky5679

Christian Grey had fallen hard for Ana, a passion that grew stronger over time. But obstacles, Elena Lincoln and his own stupid pride could destroy his marriage.

Hello again. Here is story #10. (No matter what FanFic says, my note about rearranging the Arrangement was not a story.) As always, the characters belong to E.L. James.

Also, as always, my story is published completed. Most readers like this but for those who do not, feel free to PM me anytime to make a comment. I don't check my messages or reviews regularly so please don't feel insulted if I fail to respond promptly.

There are 44 chapters and an epilogue.

Christian Grey had fallen hard for Ana, a passion that grew stronger over time. But obstacles, Elena Lincoln and his own stupid pride could destroy his marriage.

Note: This is NOT a new story. I'm simply attempting to move it from my old page 5678 to the new one 5679. Let's see how successful I am

GREY V. GREY

CHAPTER 1

Ana lay back in her beach chair, allowing the sun to warm her and her little baby bump. The weather had been rainy for most of the week and who knew how long this bright break would last. She tried to empty her mind of everything…to achieve a state of Zen. Dr. Flynn had been trying to teach her to employ meditation as a means of relaxing as she was determined to be calm and peaceful for her baby's sake. She was eating well…taking long walks…sleeping...well, resting. Sleep didn't come easily, not until she was completely exhausted.

She was going this alone. She could have leaned on any number of people…Kate, Elliot, Mia, Grace.

Still, she needed to know that she could be strong for her child. The person she had trusted most in this world had betrayed her. If that was possible, then she couldn't really trust anyone. She had to know that she could not only go it alone but go it alone well.

When it became clear that the child's father didn't want it, Ana had acted decisively. She had spent not a night fretting and despairing. She pictured toxic emotions flowing into the sweet bubble in which her child currently lived. No, she immediately faced reality, packed her bags and moved into this quaint little rental cottage on the beach. It was the off-season. None of the nearby cottages were occupied. However, Ana was not lonely for others. There was only one person she truly missed and his company would not be good for her or her child.

She'd been living in the cottage for more than a month now. She was well into her 2nd trimester and her morning sickness had eased. She knew that her third trimester would mean swollen ankles, backaches, Braxton-Hicks contractions, fatigue and a host of other niggling annoyances that go along with pregnancy so she intended to enjoy this 2nd trimester. She attended exercises for mommies-to-be and swam daily at the local Y. She lost herself in all the British classics she'd already read in college…except that this time, she read solely for enjoyment. In the evenings, as it grew colder, she'd light the wood stove in her bedroom, heat up a cup of cocoa and read until something resembling sleep overtook her.

In the mornings, she let herself be awakened by the light through her window. When she was still living with her husband, she had to listen to his alarm, his shower, his electric razor. Now she heard nothing but the warbling of birds and the rush of the water.

Yes, she had herself convinced that she was better off without him. Both of them were better off.

She tried not to think of what came next. Next was several months away. She would deal with the next part of her life when it came. Until then, her only concern was growing a healthy and happy baby.

The sun was setting and Ana felt the evening chill coming upon her so she hefted herself out of her chair, wrapped her pashmina around her shoulders and retreated to her cottage.

As she trudged through the sand to her back gate, she sang to her baby and caressed her belly. She hoped that the baby could hear her and she looked forward to the first time she felt her baby move. Dr. Greene had told her that she would probably be in her third trimester by then.

CHAPTER 2

Gail winced as she heard the sound of a glass smashing against a wall. This, she knew, was not a Flintstones jelly glass. It was one of Mr. Grey's exceedingly expensive bourbon tumblers. Tomorrow when he'd gone off to GEH, she would have to clean the sticky alcohol residue off the wall and gather up all the pieces of glass scattered about the room. Soon, she'd have to be shopping for a new set of glasses again. Oh, well. Her billionaire employer could afford it. What he couldn't afford, in her opinion, was any more time away from his wife.

Ana was a lovely person, kind and patient toward everyone…but she was no pushover, either. She'd put up with a lot from her husband in their two-year relationship…including infidelity. He could be quite immature and difficult to handle. Ana even forgave him his extra-marital dalliances. He loved Ana to distraction but if he felt insecure or didn't get his way, he'd take advantage of all the women who threw themselves at him to right his listing ship. Like many rich men, he felt entitled to a little 'harmless' amusement. Unlike a lot of rich men, he was madly in love with his wife. Other women were just his way to make Ana see that she had to see things his way because he could always go elsewhere. These attempts to control her had backfired so horrendously that he begged forgiveness, sought counseling and was now a model of husbandly devotion. Almost.

His friendship with his former dominatrix, Elena Lincoln, was still a point of contention. Ana had to put up with constant interference in her marriage yet she did so with grace. Elena, who considered Ana to be the interference in her relationship with her former toy boy, did nothing with grace. She barged into the penthouse whenever she felt the need and Christian refused to change the elevator code. He reasoned that his brother, Elliot, and his sister, Mia, as well as his parents, all had easy access and always had, so why shouldn't his old friend, Elena? Certainly, he could see that compared to his elegant and gracious wife, Elena was a common and trashy hag. Still, they went way back…thirteen years…and despite the way she treated his wife, he continued to welcome her into his home and his life. Ana would simply go to their library until she heard the noise of the elevator signaling Elena's departure.

Christian was different after a visit with Elena. She knew how to play with his mind. Her manipulative little ways would have Christian thinking that he was ceding control to his wife. Elena would have him concerned that Ana would no long respect him if he let her do as she pleased.

Ana knew, as she listened to the ping of the elevator arriving, that Christian would come looking for her and she would have to spend the evening doing damage control. Although he no longer practiced BDSM, he would slip back into Dom mode after succumbing to Elena's 'counsel'.

Ana was adept at handling Christian's moods and changes. When he marched into the library, she would pretend to be sleeping. She knew that her husband would kneel beside her and brush her hair from her face. He would kiss her forehead and then pick her up gently in his arms, cradling her against his muscled chest as he walked to their bedroom. Ana hated this subterfuge. She felt dishonest…but his tender feelings for her when she was sleeping would soften his heart. By morning, the remnants of his Dom persona would be channeled into making passionate love. She would tread lightly that evening after he returned from GEH and soon he would be her Christian again. No, he wasn't an easy man but she loved him so deeply that she forgave…and forgave.

She had invested her heart and her life in Christian Grey. Sometimes, she thought that she had agreed to marriage too quickly. Perhaps if she had waited a year or so, she would have thought better of swearing vows. She believed in those vows and had no intention of breaking them…even if Christian did…often. There were many times when she wanted to pack a bag and leave but instead she remembered her promise….the one in particular that meant the most to Christian. She'd vowed to never leave him. So, she didn't pack a bag. Instead, she would lock herself in the bathroom and cry, ignoring his knocks and demands and finally….his pleas. She knew that when she did emerge, she'd find him sitting on the floor next to the door. He'd be so pathetic-looking…sad and broken. He'd ask her if she was going to leave him and when she said no, he'd gather her into his arms and hold her so tightly, murmuring his love for her over and over.

Of course, they'd gone to couples therapy as well but Christian never learned from it. The only thing that he ever learned from was his fear of losing her. Well…now he had.

CHAPTER 3

It was almost midnight when Christian drove down the cottage road toward his wife's new home. As he approached the house, he turned off his headlights and the engine. He didn't want Ana to know that he was lurking just outside. He, of course, had coverts watching out for her but he needed to come by every night to see that all was well. Sometimes, he could still discern a dim light in one window. Perhaps Ana couldn't sleep or she'd stayed up reading. He knew that if he knocked, he would not be welcome…not unless he came to his senses which he seemed incapable of doing. Elena was coming by more often now and she warned him that he had to be firm with Ana.

"Leave her be, my dear. She certainly isn't going to live in that hovel throughout the winter. She'll have to return when it becomes too cold. When she does return, you mustn't welcome her with open arms. Do not let on that you've missed her. She'll never learn her lesson if you keep giving in to her."

It was mid-October and much colder along Puget Sound than in the city. Christian guessed it to be 50 degrees. Ana would be heating with a wood stove. This terrified Grey. She risked fire and carbon monoxide poisoning. How could she be so foolish? The more he thought about her safety, the angrier he became. He would insist that she at least allow him to install a heating system.

He sat on the top step of the stairs leading down to the gate. It was a charming cottage and Ana had asked him to buy it last season. He could certainly afford it but he insisted that it was a foolish purchase. If she wanted a house on the water, he could buy one of the several mansions for sale. They were in need of restoration and improvements and few people had Grey's kind of money. Ana, however, wanted this little cottage with its arbor-covered gate, its sweet garden, its porches. Christian continued to refuse because it was, to his way of thinking, simply a dilapidated old hut. Ana stopped asking. He figured that when she left him, she'd intentionally chosen this old place to spite him. That she simply wanted to live where she felt comfortable did not occur to him.

He sat on the cold stone step until he couldn't take it anymore. In the morning he would have Taylor stop by with Gail for a visit. They could suggest that a heating system be installed.

The cottage was dark, now. Christian rose and walked back down the road to his R8. Back to Escala where he would try but fail to sleep without Ana.

CHAPTER 4

Ana had stayed up late reading Jane Eyre, one of her favorites. She admired the titular character because she was so stoic and strong. Even with her great love for Rochester, she was still able to leave him when it was wrong to stay. Ana wanted to be as strong. She had to be.

Because she'd slept in and because it was too warm under the covers to emerge into the cold, she was sorely tempted to ignore the polite knocking at her door. It was insistent, if gentle, so finally she donned her robe and wrapped her quilt around her shoulders as she strode through the house to the front door.

"Good morning, Mrs. Grey. I hope that we didn't wake you."

"Taylor! Gail! This is a surprise. Come in. Have a seat while I stoke the stove."

"No, Mrs. Grey. Let me do that. I saw a pile of wood outside," Taylor insisted.

"Oh, okay. What brings you out to my little abode?" she smiled sincerely. Ana had always liked Gail in particular. She missed her cooking since Ana was no great shakes at making meals.

Gail smiled sweetly at Ana as she looked her over. The house was quite chilly. The little thermometer just outside the door stood at -50. Ana, huddled in her quilt, was clearly cold.

"Well, I brought a few casseroles, some homemade breads, cookies and other groceries."

"You didn't have to do that, Gail. I walk down to the grocery store almost every day. I get a lot of fresh produce. I'm trying to eat well and learn how to cook healthy for my baby."

As Taylor got the stove going, the room became cozier.

"Thank you, Taylor. That feels good. Can I get you both some warm coffee or cocoa?"

"No, dear. We can't stay long. We wanted to discuss something with you." Gail looked nervously at Taylor. They'd simply no idea how this would go over with Mrs. Grey.

"These old cottages have no insulation. They weren't meant to be lived in during the cold months. And with only a couple of stoves, well, we were hoping that you would consider letting us install a heating system. It would be safer as well. We worry, Mrs. Grey. You're so vulnerable way out here all alone." Taylor looked hopefully at Ana.

Ana smirked. "Alone, you say? How many coverts does Christian have out there watching?

"He is just very concerned with your safety, Mrs. Grey. Fire and gaseous poisons and just basic freezing are all possibilities. We'd just like to fix the place up a bit to make it more comfortable for you. Not to mention, a baby."

"I'm sure that Christian put you up to this but it isn't necessary. I'll be speaking with the landlord soon and I'm sure that he'll agree to install a heating system. He's indicated that he values my continued tenancy what with the other cabins being empty.

"So, you see that I'm managing on my own. Even though my husband thinks I earned a 4.0 GPA from Harvard by smiling prettily at my professors, I do possess a working brain.

"How is Christian doing? I'm sure that Mrs. Lincoln has been by frequently to offer a shoulder."

Taylor and Gail nodded sheepishly. Mrs. Grey was nobody's fool.

"We love you both and we're quite concerned about this separation. Mr. Grey isn't doing well at all. We do wish that you would come home."

Ana reached out and took hold of Gail's hand.

"It is important that my baby have a calm, relaxed and happy mother while it grows inside me. I can't have what I need living in a penthouse with an angry man who fills my life with tension. I moved out because the pressure to abort was unbearable. I'm staying away until I'm sure that my child will live in a home filled with love. A safe harbor. He can't have that as things currently stand and I don't actually envision the situation changing. I would like my child to have a father but if he isn't going to, then I can't have him living with a father who doesn't want him. Do you understand?"

Taylor and Gail nodded. They were pleased to see that Ana had matters well in hand. Now they just had to worry about Grey…who was falling apart more each day.

CHAPTER 5

Christian was pacing back and forth across his great room, tearing at his hair in frustration and despair. He hadn't shaved in days. His eyes were red and bleary. Elena looked at him in disgust.

"This is pathetic. I raised you to be a great Dom and you were…until her. Now look at you. Can't you see that she's ruined you? She's gone and there is nothing standing in your way. You can return to the lifestyle you so enjoyed before she made you quit. You've been a shadow of that great man ever since. Please let me send you a couple of potential submissives to interview. That is what you need…to return to the man you really are."

Elena's voice was rising higher and higher as she tried to get through to Grey. She was aware that this was her second chance to once again have complete control of her prize pet.

"Elena, please stop talking. Your voice is grating on my nerves. Ana didn't ruin me. She saved me. I don't want to go back to meaningless contracts with meaningless women. Is this why you came by today? Were you thinking that I'd be weak enough to do your bidding? You forget, Elena, that I'm not a frightened 15 year old any more. I've built a multibillion dollar private company. I just need my wife back."

Elena's frustration was clear. She'd managed to stay in Grey's good graces even after his marriage to that…that person. His checkbook was still open to her and occasionally he listened to her but, despite her best efforts, he had not given up on her. Where, Elena wondered, had it all gone wrong?

She'd easily converted a teenager into a fine sub and then a premier dominant. He was at the peak of his powers when suddenly it was all over. His latest sub, Leia, had come into Elena's salon bawling about being rejected by Grey. He'd been increasingly inattentive of late. In fact, he'd canceled their weekends together several times in a row. When she inquired, he'd told her that she was as good as she ever was but that he was losing interest in cuffs and ropes and whips. Finally, that last Friday night when she arrived for her weekend, he'd called her into his study and terminated their contract. She'd been with him for more than six months and thought that she had a good shot at a permanent relationship. She'd never find another like him. He was handsome beyond belief. He was rich beyond belief.

When Elena called to demand an explanation, it was clear that he wasn't alone. His voice was light and happy. He paid little attention to his caller as he played with his "distraction". Elena was highly insulted and infuriated, advising that he call her back when he had time to listen. He never called. She was forced to go to Escala to personally confront him.

When she stepped off the elevator, a young woman approached her with a smile and an outstretched hand. Elena assumed that Grey had a new maid…a presumptuous twit. She'd ignored the proffered hand and the rest of the maid as she marched into Grey's study.

"Are you ready to explain yourself, boy? Your subs don't usually come to me in tears. Poor Leia was beside herself. Perhaps you can tell me why you treated her so horribly."

"Horribly?! I let her down as gently as possible. I made clear to her that my decision had nothing to do with her job performance. I've arranged for her to attend an elite art school and I've assumed all her living expenses for the next two years. She also left here with a new car and enough jewelry for a nice nest egg for the future. She's just upset that I couldn't give her what she really wanted….me…and she ought to have known from the start that that was never a possibility. I don't know what impression you've given these subs but they all seemed to believe that they had a shot at marrying me."

"Christian? Could I get your guest a refreshment?" A soft voice spoke from the door. Elena turned to face the same maid who'd greeted her at the elevator. She huffed in disgust.

"How dare you charge in here without permission?" Elena fairly screeched at Ana who appeared startled.

"You charged in here without permission, Elena. Ana is the only person who is allowed to walk in whenever she pleases," Grey smirked. Elena was stunned. She whirled back around to stare at the pale brunette who bore a passing resemblance to Grey's previous subs. Ana repeated her offer of a drink to the outraged woman before her.

"No." Elena's tone was icy cold. Ana shrugged and excused herself. Elena turned back to Christian, mouth agape.

"What, in god's name, was that? Have you changed the terms in your contract? Are you now accepting insolent mice as subs?" Her fury turned her face red as Christian laughed.

"She's my girlfriend, Elena. Ana is not a sub. We have no contract. "Insolent mice", he chuckled. "That's a funny term. She'll get a laugh out of that."

"Christian!" What is going on with you?!" Elena was almost frothing at the mouth.

"I'm in love, Elena. I've never been happier, never. I didn't know that it was even possible to feel this way," Christian said with a cheek splitting grin on his face. "You'll understand once you get to know her. She's a beautiful person, inside and out."

"Beautiful? That plain pasty creature with the gauche manners? I send you stunning young women with sophistication and breeding and you choose this, this rodent?"

Christian jumped from his chair in a flash, slamming his fist down on his desk with the ferocity of a man enraged. He had never shown such vehemence on any topic. Although he occasionally treated Elena with a nonchalance that she didn't appreciate, he had never before dared flare up at her with such force. What had this girl done to him?

"Enough! She has been nothing but courteous toward you while you have sneered at and insulted her." Christian leaned his fists on his desktop and stared Elena down. "This lovely woman is the most important person in my life. Accept that or leave. Now, which will it be?"

Elena found herself shrinking back. She was both aroused and intimidated. She had grieved when Christian told her of his decision to become a dominant. She had somehow imagined that they would go on always with Christian as her pet and she'd had a difficult adjustment when he became independent. To keep him in her life and under control, she took it upon herself to become his teacher. And it worked. While she missed the sex, she enjoyed his dependency. He needed her first to teach him to be a dominant and, thereafter, to supply him with submissives. A man in his position could not afford to be seen at clubs recruiting young women. Besides, Elena knew what he wanted and made the whole interviewing process go smoothly. She became a sort of den mother to packs of sub wannabies. And they all wanted to advance to the position of Christian Trevelyan Grey's sub. Problem was that they all also wanted to advance to the position of Mrs. Grey.

That, in fact, was also the intention of their mentor, Elena. Being more than twice his age was of little import to her. She had saved him from himself. She was responsible for his ambition, his success. He owed everything to her, including the penthouse that she came and went from on a whim. She had found it for him, advised him to buy it and then decorated it herself. He dressed with elegance because of her. He carried himself with poise and dignity. She'd invented Christian Grey.

This, Elena Lincoln believed. And yet today here she sat, forced to listen to him whine about his wife's absence. Did he seriously expect her to help him retrieve the little ninny? She'd been chipping away at their bond since that first day in his study. She'd convinced him that fatherhood was not for him. Now Ana was pregnant with his brat and he was terrified. Ana had left him.

Life was finally going Elena's way again. 'Bout damn time.

CHAPTER 6

Mr. Schuster was thrilled when he received a call from a realtor offering to buy his collection of cottages on Puget Sound. Those rundown shacks had been in his family for three generations. He put as little as possible into their upkeep and rented them out at double the rate because of their location. Still, he was tired of dealing with them and the scum who leased from him…except for his current tenant, of course. She was a lovely lady who had no complaints. Trouble was that he expected her to vacate any day now as it grew colder.

Thus, the opportunity to sell was a god-send. He thought the buyer…Cottages Are Us…was a bit odd. He laughed at first. He thought it was a joke call. What outfit buys up shacks by the water and then calls itself Cottages Are Us? Then the realtor tells him that the new owners want him to continue on as manager for the time being and that none of his tenants are to know that the cottages had been sold. The tenants, of course, being just the one….Ms. Steele. It was all very odd but what the heck. He got a good price for the lot and he was being paid to play manager. Ms. Steele was friendly and appreciative of anything he did for her. This week, he was upgrading her entire cottage without raising her rent. Again…weird, but it wasn't his money.

"Good morning, Mr. Schuster!" Ana waved from her porch as Mr. Schuster began to unload his supplies. He was expecting a team of workers in a little while to help with all the remodeling. CAU was insistent that the work be completed within two weeks. They wanted siding and insulation, plumbing and electrical, windows and a furnace. Oddly…not unlike the entire transaction…CAU also wanted the cottage equipped with a railing down the front steps, safety bars in the bathroom and miscellaneous safety equipment throughout the house. Ms. Steele, who thought all these extras were courtesy of Mr. Schuster, was amazed by his thoughtfulness.

"Oh, Mr. Schuster, the siding is yellow! How did you know that I love that color?"

He could hardly reply that he didn't, that CAU had insisted on that color. "Oh, just a guess. Glad you're happy with it. We're painting the interior as well so let me know what colors you'd like in there. We're going to get all of this done in two weeks so I hope the weather holds so that you can enjoy sitting on the beach."

"I'll try to stay out of your way as much as possible," promised Ana. She was thrilled that all this work was being done. It meant that she could stay on throughout the cold months. She'd been so uncomfortable lately that she was afraid that she would have to move into an apartment in town. Now, she could stay and have a pretty and safe place to complete her pregnancy and, probably, raise her child.

She was suddenly taken with a wave of heavy sadness as she realized that she wouldn't be sharing this important time with Christian. She wandered into the second bedroom and pictured it as the nursery…blue or pink. She wanted a rocker by the window. She could see herself sitting there with her child, singing lullabies while she breastfed.

Ana collapsed on the floor, sobbing. It wasn't fair. She shouldn't have to do this alone. This should be a wonderful time for her and her husband to share. Her heart hurt. Her head hurt as well. She had to make plans and buy furniture and give the baby all she had because she would be all the baby had. What would she tell her child when he asked about his father? How could she possibly explain that Daddy didn't want him?

She had to acknowledge that Daddy didn't want her either. They hadn't spoken in more than a month now. She knew that his coverts were reporting back to him but he would only be interested in her basic safety. It was a thing with him. He was the same way with his subs and they were just employees. Thus, she wasn't impressed with his safety concerns for her.

He certainly wasn't overly concerned with her wellbeing when that glass tumbler flew past her head the night she'd told him that she was with child. They'd never discussed children but she'd simply assumed that one day they would have a family. She'd thought they wouldn't begin trying for a few years yet but Dr. Greene didn't know that Dr. Collins had prescribed a course of antibiotics for her UTI. Perhaps Ana should have known that meds could interfere with contraceptives but she didn't. Well, anyway, life will find a way. She'd heard that in a movie once.

After the initial shock, she told Christian who promptly lost his temper and tossed his bourbon across the room. He didn't intend to hit Ana with the glass but it sailed close by her head anyway. This was followed by a crazed tirade lasting the entire evening. Ana slept alone that night while Christian bunked in his study…close to his Jim Beam. If she thought that he'd be more reasonable in the morning, she was proven wrong. If anything, he was worse.

"What the hell could you have been thinking, Ana?" He shouted.

"Dr. Greene said that most people don't know that meds can mess with other meds. I didn't get pregnant on purpose, Christian. Also, I'm pretty sure that you were there at the moment of conception."

"I guess I shouldn't have trusted you with the contraceptive responsibility."

"What's done is done, Christian. We're parents now," Ana said, patting her belly.

"What's done can be undone, Ana. Call Dr. Greene and make an appointment for a termination," Christian ordered. Ana gaped at him. She thought she misheard.

"Are you suggesting that I have our child killed, Christian?" she asked in horror.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic, Ana. You're only six weeks along. It isn't a child. It's a blob of cells," Christian sneered.

"No, that blob of cells is a living thing…our living thing. How can you consider killing something, someone, that we made together. This child is yours and mine. You will love it just as much as I will."

"I can't be a father, Ana. I'm too messed up. Look how poorly I've done as a husband. It's only your tolerance that's kept us going all this time. A child requires patience. The only person I'm marginally patient with is you. A child needs love. Somehow I've managed to love you but that's only because you are, well, you.

"And I'm selfish. Don't try to deny it. I'm selfish as all hell. I don't want to share you with anyone or anything. If you have this child, I'll take second place and I'll hate the kid for it."

"No, Christian. You'll love this child just as you love me. I know that we've had our hard times. I know that becoming the husband you are today took a lot of work on your part. Don't you remember how scared you were to get married even though it was your idea? You had believed what Elena told you…that you were not made for marriage. That and that I was only after your money. You scoffed at that and took the leap. We're happy together now and we'll be happy with our child. Take that same leap of faith. Take it with me." Ana smiled at her worried husband. They embraced and went to bed to make love. After, Christian held his wife in his arms and imagined her having to get up and leave him to tend to a crying baby.

In the morning he woke with Ana in his arms still but then he imagined that she wasn't there anymore because the baby needed to be fed. He thought about every moment of their time together that would be ruined by the child's needs. He knew at least a half dozen executives at GEH who had soured on their marriages because their wives no longer doted on them…too busy with children. He knew, with certainty, that he would cheat on Ana again and that thought made him sick to his stomach.

No, he couldn't be a father. Ana would have to understand.

CHAPTER 7

No. She wouldn't. For two weeks she tried to reassure Christian that she wouldn't let him be a bad father and that the bond between them could only grow stronger because they shared a child. For that same two weeks, Christian dwelt at length on the breaking of their bond because of the child and, of course, Elena was always eager to assure him that he was correct.

One night they made wonderful love together. Christian was as loving and passionate as he had ever been. Ana was curled up in his arms, feeling quite wonderful and safe and lucky when he said, "I've made an appointment for you tomorrow for a D & C. This time tomorrow it will be just you and me again." He kissed the top of her head and fell to sleep. Thus, he was unaware of her tears falling onto his chest.

In the morning, he would awake alone…just as he had always feared. The child had come between them. Ana was gone. She didn't leave a note. There was nothing to say that she hadn't been saying for two weeks. Her baby was now two months along and there was no peace to be found in the penthouse at Escala. She'd laid awake, thinking of where to go and remembered the cottage on the beach. She'd quietly left Christian's side, packed a bag with the few things she would need and left their room. She went to the security office and asked Reynolds to drive her to the Fairmont Hotel. He was reluctant so she took out her phone to call a taxicab.

"No, Mrs. Grey. I would rather drive you. May I ask if Mr. Grey is aware of your departure?"

"Mr. Grey is sound asleep and if I know my husband, it will be his last sound sleep for some time to come. Leave him be. I will call in the morning. You may tell him so when you next speak with him."

And so, Reynolds had driven Ana to the Fairmont. She checked in at 11 pm and checked out the following afternoon after speaking with Mr. Schuster and making arrangements to rent one of his cottages. Mr. Schuster was thrilled to have a paying customer so he hurried over to the cottage to set it up for Ms. Steele. She arrived early evening to a blazing stove, a pot of tea and a bed already made up. Mr. Schuster had been very kind, unaware of how desperately Ana needed his kindness. She crawled into the bed and cried herself to sleep. In the morning, she would begin anew. She had no expectation that her sudden absence would bring Christian to his senses.

She was correct in that. Upon finding out from Taylor that Ana had flown in the night, he began drinking. Taylor called GEH and informed his assistant that her boss wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be in that day. Perhaps Monday he'd feel better. Andrea could not recall Mr. Grey ever staying home with an illness.

Ana called Saturday evening but Christian refused to answer his phone so she called Gail.

"Mrs. Grey, are you all right? We've been so worried about you."

"Who would "we" be, Gail?" Ana asked, with a tinge of bitterness in her tone.

Gail hesitated. "He's in a state, Mrs. Grey. He's drinking in his study and rarely comes out. You know how he is about meals? He won't eat. Just drinks."

"Tell him I called. Tell him I'm staying in that little cottage on Puget Sound. If he calls, I'll answer. Somehow I doubt that he will, however. Thank you, Gail, for everything." With that, Ana rang off.

Sunday Christian did not appear at Grey Manor for brunch. Grace had been expecting her son and his wife. She was thrilled about the new grandchild and was concerned when they didn't show or call. Her good friend, Elena Lincoln, had been invited that day. She excused herself, saying that she had a terrible migraine. She drove straight to Escala and found Christian passed out on his couch in the study. She amused herself with snooping through his office, his papers, his phone. It was the last that held the answer to why Christian had not appeared at brunch.

"Christian, I've called three times and you've not answered. I will not be keeping the appointment you made. You can find me, if you wish, at the little cottage I once urged you to buy. It was such a small thing but you refused me. Now I will live there until our child is born and perhaps after. You are welcome to come, if you wish. If you call, I will answer. Please don't drink yourself into a stupor." Ana's voicemail was brisk but soft. Elena didn't know that Christian had listened to it a dozen times just to hear her voice.

So, the little mouse roars, Elena laughed to herself. Well, good. Christian is too proud. He'll never cave…especially if he has the proper encouragement to remain resolute. I'll be here for him and steer him back to his proper place…under my thumb.

CHAPTER 8

It was a rather warmish day, for the time of year, which cheered Ana. Workmen had taken over Ana's cottage and she'd taken herself out to the beach. The noise was getting on her nerves. She dressed in layers and took a thick quilt to bundle up in as she sat in her chair and read. She'd dozed off for a bit when she became aware of a presence looming over her. She opened her eyes and tried not to let Kate see her disappointment.

"Hey, there, roomie. What brings you all the way out here?"

"Knock it off. Who do you think you're talking to anyway?" Kate flopped down on the sand and looked over at Ana. "How's the baby?"

Ana smiled sadly. "I don't know. He isn't talking to me. Just like his daddy."

"Elliot's been by to see his brother. He tried talking some sense into him but got nowhere. Gail is upset because Christian barely eats. Elliot says that he looks like hell. When he got there, he found Mrs. Lincoln visiting as well. She said that she's been trying to get through to him but…"

Ana laughed, startling Kate. "Oh, she's too modest. She's gotten through to him, all right."

"That's an odd thing to say. What do you mean?"

"Oh, well. I suppose keeping my husband's secrets isn't necessary anymore," Ana snarled. "Mrs. Lincoln has been trying to break up my marriage since Christian defied her and took me as his wife."

"What! Why? And why am I just hearing about this now?" said Kate, feeling insulted that her BFF had kept something so important from her.

"I can't go into all the details and what I do tell you, you can't reveal to anyone but Elliot. Elena has been manipulating Christian since he was 15. She used sex to keep him under her thrall. She holds the very strong opinion that everything he is and has is due to her brilliant tutelage. When she met me, she was horrified to find that she had a rival. She would come by the penthouse at least twice a week to harangue Christian about me. He would become like the spawn of the devil after she left until I calmed him down.

"Even though he loves, loved? me, he would not end that poisonous relationship because he can't see her for what she truly is…an evil, bloodsucking troll who preys on his insecurities and his checkbook. When I'd asked him to cut off or, at least, reduce contact with her, he'd tell me that she was his longtime friend. He'd protest that he didn't like her disparaging me but he just put it down to jealousy and paid her no mind. He'd tell me that she was an aging, sad and lonely woman who thought of him as a son and that she had no one else. He'd accuse me of being unfair and unkind to the poor old thing. If I tried to stay in the room during her intrusions, I'd be subjected to constant insults and derision. Christian never defended me. He'd just shake his head and shrug. So, I finally just disappeared into the library whenever she dropped in…always unannounced and uninvited."

Kate whistled in exclamation. "Christ, Ana. How did you manage to not just haul off and sock her?"

"Oh, she would have loved that!" Ana chortled. "She could really play the martyr then. As it was, she made me out to be a witch who'd cast a spell on Christian and herself as the sweet woman who really loved him and was only trying to save him from me. I'm sure, now I'm gone, that she is hammering away at him. "I told you that Ana was no good for you. She got pregnant on purpose to further trap you into this marriage." And so on.

"No, Kate. Elena has won. I'm expecting divorce papers any day now."

"Oh, no, Ana. No, Christian loves you too much."

"Loved. Kate. I've been living here for more than a month and he hasn't so much as called. I'm sure that Elena has advised him to make me crawl or he'll lose all control over me. I don't expect to hear from him again except through his lawyers."

"You wouldn't really sign, would you?" Kate looked teary-eyed.

"I can't stay married to a man who doesn't want me…or rather, a man who doesn't want our child. I took vows and, among other promises, I said that I'd never leave him. However, this innocent little being inside me has to come first. Christian has abandoned him so I'll have to abandon Christian to protect this baby. You have little Ava. Tell me. Could you imagine living with Elliot if he resented Ava and refused to have any part in raising her?"

"No. I'm all over his case if he even shows impatience with her. We both agree that she comes first…as will all our children."

"You're going to have more, Kate?" Ana smiled brightly at her friend.

"In a year or so. We'd like to have Ava potty-trained first."

"This will probably be my only child, Kate. That makes me sad. I was an only child and it was a sad existence even before my parents died. I have no family left."

"Nonsense! You have me and I'm pretty sure that the Greys love you more than they love Christian, the ole' grouch. They are all excited about the baby and they miss you. They want to see you but they don't want to intrude."

"Is that why you're here today? The first wave?" Ana grinned.

"No, coming was my idea. I've been holding off because I know you. You've always been insecure about your ability to take care of yourself without help. I know that you're trying to prove that you can go it alone. But, Ana, you don't have to and shouldn't. That baby needs grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. Please consider coming to Grey Manor soon. Everyone loves you. You know that, don't you?"

"I do…but I don't think they love me more than Christian and they will feel that they have to stand by him first. Of course, if Elena has her way, Christian will never see anyone but her."

"I'm going to tell Grace about her 'friend'. She has no idea what a snake that woman is."

Ana shook her head forcefully. "No, Kate. Elena has Grace wrapped around her little finger and she will only tell her lies that I'm afraid that Grace will believe."

Kate protested but Ana insisted that Kate not interfere.

The two sat for a while longer but the sun was dimming and the wind off the Sound was cold so they retreated to the cottage. The workmen had finished for the day. The cottage was warm and cozy. The friends shared chamomile tea and Gail's butter cookies and laughed over memories of life in school. Ana sadly bid her friend good night and waved goodbye from the cottage door as Kate's car lights faded away down the road. Then she closed the door and stood looking at the mess she'd have to live with for another week.

CHAPTER 9

Christian rolled over and crashed onto the floor. He struggled to his knees and endeavored to orient himself to his surroundings. Oh, yes. The study. His head was pounding like a jackhammer. He stumbled to his feet and into the lavatory where he fell to his knees again before the porcelain altar that he'd been worshiping at for weeks. He retched, emptying a bottle or two of Jim Beam into the toilet. His throat seemed to be on fire. He needed to eat some ice cream to sooth it.

As a rule, Grey didn't eat sweets unless he and Ana were having dessert together but he needed to sooth his inflamed tissue. Staggering, he made it to the freezer and found some mint-chip…Ana's favorite. He lurched over to the couch with the pint and forced the ice cream down his throat. What day was it? Was it Sunday or Monday? He tried to yell for Taylor but could only croak out an unintelligible noise. He hoped that it wasn't Monday because he had an important conference call and he was certainly in no shape for that.

He placed the remainder of the pint on the coffee table and forced himself to his feet. Swaying, he made it into his bedroom. He only went in there now to shower and dress. He couldn't bear to look at the bed or even the closet. Why the hell hadn't the woman taken all her clothes? Did she leave them just so he had to see them or worse, smell them? And all her makeup and most of her toiletries were still scattered along the vanity. And, damn her, he couldn't bring himself to just sweep them all into the wastebasket.

He stripped himself of his clothes. He'd been wearing the same ones for days. Leaving them on the floor for Gail, he stepped into the shower. Cranking it up to a scalding temperature, he stood under the water and tried to let the force of the shower distract him for a short while. When he finally emerged, he wondered if Ana had a decent bathroom in that cottage. He'd have to call Schuster to make sure that the bath and kitchen were remodeled as well. He'd made that call while three sheets to the wind and was barely able to get through it. He was so unprepared that he told the man that he was a realtor representing Cottages Are Us. Lord love a duck. He had to laugh. It was a ridiculous name for a company. His brain didn't seem to work anymore.

"Sir? It's good to see you up and taking care of yourself. Gail has made you French toast for breakfast. Are you hungry?" asked Taylor.

"No. I already had some ice cream. What day is it, Taylor?"

"Monday, sir. Approximately, noon." Taylor cringed a bit at what was coming.

"Noon! How the hell could you let me sleep in until noon, Taylor? I've missed a conference call with Ros and Taiwan! Jesus H. Christ!"

"Hmmm…that call was last Monday, sir. I tried but I couldn't rouse you. I called Andrea and told her that you were ill."

"Last Monday?" Christian looked befuddled. He'd lost track of time. "Am I expected today?"

"Well, I did call Andrea again. She and Ros are under the impression that you are suffering from an extended siege of flu. They and the rest of the office sent cards, sir."

"Oh, god. I'll be in my study, Taylor." Christian pulled on his pajama bottoms and headed for his study. He needed a drink. Taylor watched him go and decided to take a chance with his temper.

"Mr. Grey, we're all quite concerned about you and we…." Christian cut him off with a sneer. "We would be you and Gail, I suppose. I certainly know that 'we' doesn't include my wife. Has she called?"

"No, sir. As I was about to say, Gail and I were hoping that you'd consider seeking counseling."

"Counseling?! Why the hell would I need counseling? I'm just fine. Granted, I've been doing a little bit more drinking than usual but I'm doing fine. My wife needs the counseling." He stopped for a moment, thinking. "Has the work on the cottage been completed yet?"

"Yes, sir. A couple of weeks ago. The place is quite nice now. Warm, pretty. Mrs. Grey is thrilled. I'm sure that she'd be grateful to know that it was you who had the work done. You could call her and ask her if everything is to her liking and perhaps she'd even invite you out to see it," Taylor hinted hopefully.

"No. I'm sure that I'm the last person with whom she wants to 'visit'." If he could only see how sad he looked….but self-awareness wasn't his strong suit lately. He shuffled over to his study, mumbling about getting some work done and closed the door behind him. Taylor knew that Grey would head straight for the liquor cabinet and would be incapacitated before the afternoon was over.

Taylor sat down at the breakfast bar. Gail came over and took his hands in hers. They sat like that, without talking…trying to give each other some comfort. Taylor ate Grey's French toast and sighed. Nearly two months of this was ruining the morale of his entire team. A couple of guys had quit. Taylor feared that it could only get worse.

And it did. Grey was well into a bottle of Jim Beam when the elevator pinged and a haughty Mrs. Lincoln strode into the foyer. She expected to be greeted by Christian's 'butler' but Taylor just ignored her. He threw out an arm in the direction of the study and Elena, nose in the air, walked right in. Christian was lying on the couch, an arm thrown over his eyes and his hand grasping a bottle on the floor beside him. He saw Elena, groaned and took another gulp. Had she moved in, he wondered, because she certainly seemed to be there all the damn time.

"Christian," she snapped, "we have to talk. Sit up."

"Fuck off, Elena. Whadda ya want this time?" Christian growled, slurring his words.

"I want you to treat me with the respect due me. I want you to stop drinking and go to work. I want you to be Christian Grey….not Mr. Anastasia Grey." Elena was livid. Christian had never spoken to her that way.

"Again, my dear, dear Elena…Fuck the hell…the hell off. I will treat you however I wish. I will drink however much I wish. And I will have Taylor escort you to the door. How's about that, eh?" Christian laughed derisively.

Taylor, listening at the door, walked in, took Mrs. Lincoln's arm and showed her to the door with Elena loudly whining about the disrespect being shown her. It was the first bright moment in Taylor's life in nearly two months.

Now, if only he could get his boss to put the bottle down and call his shrink.

CHAPTER 10

Ana pulled up the hood of her raincoat as her wellies splashed through a puddle. She was homeward bound after her grocery run. The manager of the little grocery down the road had offered to deliver or to loan her a cart so that she didn't have to carry the bags the mile and a half to her cottage. Ana had politely declined because she needed the exercise. Now, with a mile to go, she wished that she'd borrowed the cart. As the cold weather continued, she would have to opt for delivery. She couldn't risk catching a cold.

She moved a bit to the left of the road so that the vehicle coming up behind her could get by. She grimaced, hoping that the driver would be considerate enough to slow and not splash her. Her boots went nearly to her knees but if water got in, well, it would be a long slog home. She heard the car's engine decelerating and, finally, coming to a stop.

"Mrs. Grey!" the driver yelled over the noise of thunder. "Mrs. Grey, please stop!

Ana was startled. The voice didn't sound familiar. She turned to look into the face of a man in a black suit with tie. Of course, one of Christian's coverts.

"You're not supposed to reveal yourself. You're covert, remember?" Ana smirked.

"These are special circumstances, Mrs. Grey, and besides, I'm sure that you won't turn me in. Please get in the car."

"It's only a mile or so," Ana protested.

"Yes, and it's only raining and you're only pregnant. Please," he implored. He got out of the car and took the bags from her arms, holding them both with one arm while opening the back door with the other.

Ana sighed. "All right. Thank you," she said as she settled into the comfort of the warm Mercedes SUV. The driver secured the bags with a seatbelt and then returned to his seat.

"What is your name?" Ana asked.

"I'm Ryan, ma'am. Tom Ryan. I'm fairly new."

"Goodness, I thought that Christian already had an army but he's still hiring?"

"There were a couple of vacancies, ma'am."

"Strange. Why would they give up such a lucrative position?" Ana knew that her husband paid quite well and offered impressive benefits..

Tom hesitated. "Sometimes, ma'am, morale and good working conditions are more important than salaries."

"Morale, Mr. Ryan?"

"I really shouldn't be telling tales out of school, Mrs. Grey. It isn't professional."

Ana leaned forward. "Talk or I'll squeal, Mr. Ryan."

Tom merely smiled. He had learned from his colleagues that Mrs. Grey was a real sweetheart. He knew that her threat was empty.

"Your husband is in a bad way, ma'am. He couldn't stay sober long enough to interview me. Taylor hired me on the basis of my resume' and his interview. I don't think that Mr. Grey has even noticed me."

"Oh." Ana sat back in her seat. Plush, soft leather with seat warmers. Ana had forgotten what it felt like to be chauffeured around in an expensive vehicle. She spent the short trip staring out the window.

When they arrived at her cottage, she invited Ryan in for coffee or cocoa. To her surprise, he acquiesced. He pulled out an umbrella and held it over her head as she took his arm walking down the steps to her gate. Once she was safely inside, he retrieved the groceries. Then, he sat down at her kitchen table. While Ana made hot chocolate, he glanced around.

"I'd like to have a little house like this someday. This is really cozy and cheerful."

"Thank you, Tom. My landlord put a small fortune into it so that I could remain here during cold months. I really love it. You know, he plans to fix up all the cottages. He might as well start on the one next door since it's occupied, too."

"I guess we weren't being all that covert, huh?" grinned Tom

"Living with Christian, well, I got to know the security system pretty well. And now you can park the car by the cottage instead of a mile away. Would you like baby marshmallows in your cocoa? And perhaps a few Oreos to dunk?"

"Gosh, it's been so long since I had sweets. Have to keep in shape, you know. This cocoa will make me drowsy but my shift is nearly over anyway. Are you really okay out here all by yourself, Mrs. Grey?"

"Yes, Tom, I love the solitude. Besides, I'm not alone," she said, patting her belly.

Tom smiled. The guys were right. Mrs. Grey was special. He'd put in his time working for wealthy people and it was only Taylor's assurance that he'd love Ana that made him accept the job. She seemed to be so down-to-earth, just regular people.

"And, of course, I have very protective neighbors," Ana grinned.

While they drank their cocoa and ate cookies, they talked. He told Ana that he was an orphan and had grown up in foster homes. She told him that she'd been blessed with decent parents but that they'd died in a car accident and that she had no siblings. He told her about his career, starting at Quantico. She told him that before she'd met Christian, she'd been a junior editor at a publishing house in Seattle. She'd loved that job but Christian had to do quite a bit of traveling, often abroad, and he didn't want to be separated from her so she became a hausfraus.

Actually, except for making meals on the weekends when Gail was off, she hadn't done much hausfrausing. Gail had a long established system and Ana didn't want to mess with it in the name of being helpful so mostly she read and swam in the building's pool and took piano lessons. She felt sort of useless but Christian was happy. He loved to see her the moment he stepped off the elevator.

"I was raised in genteel poverty and stayed poor right through school so being rich and lazy was difficult for me. I did a lot of volunteer work. I loved it but it isn't the same as getting a paycheck that you've earned. I had a fat checking account which I rarely used and a black Amex card that was equally ignored. Christian was always frustrated with my inability to spend money," she chuckled.

"Well, growing up in a series of foster homes, I couldn't wait to earn big money. I researched all the careers I could think of and the military appealed to me. I liked having a band of brothers but the stiffness of the military wore on me. So, I went into private security work.

"Listen, my relief should be showing soon so I have to get going. This is my private number. If you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to call."

With that Tom Ryan said goodbye and walked out into the pouring rain in his suit and wingtips, soaked and well on their way to ruin. Ana entered his number into her phone contacts. She'd enjoyed their visit. She hadn't talked to anyone since Kate came by almost three weeks before. She thought about Christian drinking his days away. Well, he knew where to find her and he knew the conditions of her return to Escala. Instead, he choose to drink.

Now she was sleepy from her walk and the cocoa. She rinsed out their cups and went to her bedroom to lay down. She didn't intend to sleep, just rest, but she was deep under before she realized it. She dreamt of Christian and the first time she saw him. He took her breath away but he was rich and arrogant…quite sure of himself. She wasn't interested in the least in his money and she'd always wanted a man like her father…her gentle, sweet-natured father.

Christian had approached her as she sat at the bar in the Mile High Club…waiting for Kate who'd begun dating a wealthy contractor named Elliot Grey. Kate had grown up in Seattle but it was all new for Ana. She swiveled around on her stool, wanting to look out the windows at the city lights. As she did so, she bumped right into a man so handsome that she gasped. He smiled. It was a beautiful smile but there was also a smugness about it. She didn't want him to know that her gasp had to do with him.

"Excuse me, sir. You're blocking the view. It's breathtaking." Christian stopped smiling and she knew that he was feeling deflated that the view of him was not what left her breathless.

He moved to the next stool but Ana told him that she was saving that seat for her friend. He then looked even more demoralized.

"A gentleman shouldn't keep a lady waiting, especially one who looks like you," he tried again.

"You must be lonely tonight, sir. I'm no beauty. And my friend, who is, is a woman. She's a journalist and is frequently held up with reporting and writing. Perhaps you've seen her by-line in the Seattle Times."

"Hmm...my brother, Elliot, is dating a journalist. Are you speaking of Katherine Kavanaugh?"

"Yes. She told me that her new boyfriend's name is Elliot. I hope that he knows what a prize he's won. She's a wonderful person and was never lacking in male companionship at Harvard."

"Did you go to school with her?" Christian asked. He didn't really care but he wanted to keep up this conversation with this woman…this woman who didn't know that she was stunning.

"Yes, we're both graduates of Harvard, roomies all four years. And here she comes now so if you don't mind relinquishing her seat…."

Kate spied Christian before she saw Ana. Though she was quite taken with Elliot, she could still recognize a good looking man when she saw one and, lord, was Christian Grey a good looking man. She noticed when she entered that every eye in the place was either on Grey or his gorgeous bar mate…Ana.

"Ana, I see you're still beating them off with a stick," Kate laughed. Ana rolled her eyes. "Kate, I imagine you've met Elliot's brother."

"Yes, I've told him all about you. He never seemed the least interested but he sure seems captivated now. Hello, Christian. Is the owner of the club going to buy my friend and me a couple of drinks?" Kate was a shining star and had never paid for a drink in her life.

"Only if I'm permitted to sit with you for a while and get to know your friend a little bit."

"So granted. Come Ana, let's get that empty table by the window before someone else does."

"Not to worry, Katherine," said Grey. "It's already been reserved…by me…about a minute ago." Kate giggled. She loved being treated like a queen. Ana, not so much. Kate was always so busy with work and now Elliot that they rarely had a chance to get together. She'd been looking forward to just sitting and talking. Now they had to waste time with this guy.

Still, she tried to be gracious. She walked and Kate sashayed over to the table. Ana didn't look around. She knew from experience that all eyes would be on Kate and that suited her just fine. She didn't want a starring role in life. Her expectations were, she thought, reasonable while Kate thought that she was charmingly unaware of her beauty.

While he waited for the drinks, Christian took the time to study Ana. Yes, he admitted to himself, Katherine was glamorous and stunning but she had just never appealed to him. Ana, on the other hand, had knocked him off his perch. He couldn't take his eyes off her. He wanted Kate to go away so that he could sit and gaze into the bluest eyes he'd ever seen. Kate's halo of golden curls didn't impress him but Ana's long and lush auburn hair made his heart beat a little harder.

Right now, they were talking and Grey groaned when he saw Ana biting her lower lip. He had to get over there. He instructed his bartender to have the drinks delivered. He swaggered over to the table and gave Ana his most devastating smile. A small v appeared between her eyebrows as he took his seat. He wanted to touch that little frown.

"So, what did I miss?" he asked congenially.

"Oh, nothing much. We were just catching up," smiled Kate.

"We hadn't had much time before you arrived," said Ana. Ouch, thought Christian.

"I won't stay long. I know that when two girls start talking one can't get a word in edgewise," Grey said, attempting to be amusing and amiable.

"Yeah, 'girls', eh? Just yatter, yatter, yatter. We'll be discussing makeup and clothes and boys." Ana stared him down.

When the drinks arrived, Christian tossed his back quickly and then excused himself, saying that he'd had a long day and still needed to finish work so he'd have to leave.

Kate smiled and thanked him for the drinks while Ana stirred hers with a swizzle stick while looking out the window.

Christian felt two things as he walked away. A stiff dick and a desire that he'd never before felt for any woman. Somehow he had to make Ana his own.

CHAPTER 11

Taylor walked back into the study after seeing Elena out. He was going to change the elevator code whether Grey requested it or not. Things were bad in this house and Elena's constant meddling made things even worse.

"Mrs. Lincoln is gone, sir."

"Whatever," Grey muttered.

"Sir, may I ask? What are your future plans?"

"Future plans for what, Taylor?" Grey asked.

"Future plans for your future, sir" Taylor replied.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Taylor."

"Well, sir, as things stand now, you don't have much of a future. You seem to be headed for divorce. You've no interest in your company. The way you're drinking is going to ruin your health."

"You work for me," Grey said in a dull voice. "What do you care what happens to me?"

"As long as Gail refuses to leave you, it seems that our futures are tied together. I have a stake in your plans. It seems quite simple to me. You grow up and accept your responsibilities as a husband and father or you lose everything. Have you made a decision as to which outcome you intend to move toward?"

Grey sat up and stared at Taylor. "You insubordinate son of a bitch. I ought to fire you." He stood and glared at a seemingly impassive Taylor.

"Just what the hell do you expect me to do, eh? I can't be a father and my wife won't come home to me unless I accept this baby. I'm stuck."

"No, sir. You're just scared and stupid."

Grey's jaw dropped. He looked stupefied at Taylor's insolence.

"No, I'm self-aware and wise enough to know that no child could survive my parenting. Also, my marriage couldn't survive having a child."

"Your marriage is already running aground, sir. You know what Mrs. Grey wants. You just don't want to give it to her. You've broken your wedding vows often before this and come to your senses just in time to keep your wife. You're breaking those vows again now. You promised to be faithful, to respect her, to support her dreams and to always share everything that came your way…good and bad."

"How dare you….!" Grey's voice rose in anger.

"I was there, sir. I heard you. Did you mean those things?"

"You sanctimonious prick!" yelled Grey. "Get out! Get out!"

Taylor, standing ramrod straight, pivoted on his heel and stomped out of the study. Grey slammed the door behind him. He threw his glass, half-filled with bourbon, against the wall and fell back onto the couch. He suddenly saw Ana's face before him, frowning with that little v between her eyebrows. Yeah, he thought, whadda you looking at?

Taylor found Gail waiting for him down the hall. He hurried into her gentle embrace.

"I may have just lost my job, Gail, but I thought someone ought to talk to him straight."

"You won't lose your position here, Jason, not if Christian wants to keep me and if he doesn't, well, then….we'll be fine."

Jason adored this woman. She was absolute perfection in his eyes. She could do no wrong. Pity that Grey couldn't see the same in Ana. If he lost her, Taylor knew that he wouldn't want to stick around to watch Christian waste away.

In the study, Grey grumbled as he staggered to his feet and poured himself another tumbler of Jim Beam. He slumped on the couch, glass in one hand and bottle in the other. Taylor didn't understand, that's all. He didn't know Christian as well as he thought he did. Hadn't he been there through all the Dom/sub years? Didn't he see what a louse Grey could be? How could he imagine that his boss could be a good father? Maybe Elena was right. Maybe he should have insisted that Ana be his sub. Then he could have controlled her. She would have done what he wanted.

But no. He figured that he had massively good luck in even getting Ana to date him. Trying to force her into submissive mode would have severely tested his powers of persuasion. Sitting there, thinking back on the early days, Grey found himself feeling calmer. Just thinking about Ana smiling at him soothed his broken soul.

CHAPTER 12

After that first introduction at the Mile High, Christian had to manufacture another meeting. It couldn't be one on one because Ana was definitely not charmed by him. Perhaps if they were surrounded by other people, people who loved him, she'd see him in a different light. He rarely showed up for Sunday brunches but perhaps that was one way to go. He called Elliot and asked if Ana came to Grey Manor on Sundays.

"Yeah, Kate brings her by sometimes." Elliot began to laugh. Kate had filled him in on Christian's and Ana's first encounter at the Mile High. His younger brother could be uber smooth but Ana was decidedly not impressed. That had never happened with any other woman. Usually they were all over him, giggling and beaming at Christian as he tried to ditch them. Every other year, their parents insisted that he attend their annual charity gala and, for Christian, it was a generous slice of hell. He spent much of it hiding in his childhood bedroom. Sometimes, they hunted him down in a pack. He'd lock his door when he heard them climbing the stairs, calling his name.

Elliot had bedded every one of those girls and thought that he'd been more than satisfactory but they all wanted Christian. Elliot, therefore, rather enjoyed his brother's consternation. It didn't matter if the girl was beautiful and smart and funny and sweet and, pick an adjective, Grey simply wasn't interested.

Now, here he was begging Elliot to get Ana to Sunday brunch. Grey was 27 and, as far as Elliot knew, a virgin. Yeah, he'd help. He couldn't let his little bro go on in that pathetic way. So, as nonchalant as he could possibly be, he suggested to Kate that Ana ought to come to brunch next Sunday. Kate laughed and jumped up into his arms, kissing him soundly.

"Sometimes you are so adorably goofy that I can hardly stand it," she giggled. Elliot loved having her in his arms and being kissed but he was surprised.

"Why is asking for Ana to come to brunch "goofy"? She's a great gal and I enjoy her company. Shouldn't you be jealous or something?" he frowned.

Kate answered with more kisses until Elliot forgot what it was that he'd been thinking about a minute ago.

"You're looking out for your brother. You're once again trying to set him up with a girl. I just think that it's cute." Kate was beaming at him.

"Well, actually, sweetheart, Christian asked me to invite Ana. This is the very first time I've seen him at all interested in a woman. Don't tell Ana, please. Just get her there, okay?"

"Will do," Kate smiled. "Now, do you have a spare hour or so to pleasure me?" she snickered.

Elliot responded by throwing a giggling Kate over his shoulder and walking into the bedroom.

Grey Manor

Ana would have preferred to curl up on the couch with a good book that Sunday afternoon but Kate beseeched her to come for brunch to relieve the boredom.

"Mia yada yadas on and on about nothing. Elliot and his father talk business. That leaves me with Grace who is such a dear but it would be nice for a change to have my bff there to entertain me," Kate explained.

So, on Sunday, Ana pulled into the driveway of the palatial mansion, putt-putting along in her ancient beetle. She got a kick out of parking next to all the BMWs and Benzes and a really cool Audi R8. Just for good measure, Wanda backfired dramatically as Ana backed up next to the R8. The noise was loud enough to startle the family into rushing to the door to look out. Christian cringed at the sight of the beetle next to his R8. Normally, he would have dressed down the driver, demanding that they move their hunk of junk. But nothing felt normal since he met Ana. He watched entranced as she emerged from Wanda with a fluid grace.

She was wearing a simple yellow sundress that she probably bought at Walmart and a pair of white ballet flats. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail that swayed with every step. God, she was beautiful, he thought. He had to pull himself together and not let her see him staring so he ducked back inside the house and planted himself on a couch, pretending to check emails on his phone as she strolled in the door.

"Ana, it's so lovely to see you again," said Grace with true warmth. Everyone in the family loved Ana. She was sweet and unassuming. She was strong but there was an underlying vulnerability about her. One felt that Ana could be depended upon and yet also needed to be cared for…but was not. Kate was the only person Ana came close to leaning on and even Kate seemed to do most of the leaning.

"Hello, everyone. It's good to see you, too. Been too long." Ana beamed at each in turn and didn't notice Christian. Mia almost immediately took over, putting her arm through Ana's and starting some long, convoluted saga about her friend, Lily, and her deviant ways. Mia was a charming, kind-hearted and intelligent person so why she hung out with Lily was a mystery to Ana. It was also a mystery as to why Grace clung to a friendship with Elena Lincoln. Mother and daughter deserved so much better.

Mia led Ana into the living room and over to a couch. It was after they were seated that Ana first noticed Christian sitting across from them, seemingly obsessed with his phone. Ana hated that. It seemed that no one was without a phone and their noses in it. She herself owned an old-fashioned flip phone that did not connect to the internet. She rarely used it. And when she saw someone sitting in the midst of other people, nose in phone, she wanted to smack it out of their hands and across the room.

Despite her fury, Ana kept her attention on Mia….to the point that she didn't even notice when Grey moved off to the dining room.

Christian was hoping that she would note his move…indeed, notice anything about him. Elliot wandered over and sat down next to him.

"Ah, bro, if you want the girl, you're going to have to at least say hello. You could have greeted her when she arrived. You could have paid attention when she sat down. You could have put the damn phone away. So, explain your plan to me because so far it looks like you either don't know she exists or you'd rather she didn't."

Christian shook his head in dismay. "She makes me feel like a teenager, El. I'm terrified. Tongue-tied. I don't know what to say to her. Besides, she's all wrapped up in Mia and her latest psychodrama with Lily."

"I can get Mia away long enough for you to walk over to Ana…like a big boy…and say hello. Ask her how she is. She works as a junior editor at a publishing company. Ask her what she likes about her job."

Elliot got up from his chair and drifted into the living room. He sat down and listened to Mia whine for a bit before jumping into the conversation.

"Mia, why do you even hang out with Lily if she's such a jerk? You just set yourself up for disappointment every time you see her. What's with you? Got a masochistic personality?"

It was just enough to divert Mia's attention from Ana as she sought to defend herself from her brother's accusations. It was an old, familiar argument…one they'd been having since Mia met Lily in high school.

Ana's ears hurt and she was getting a headache so she took the opportunity to get up from the couch and go in search of an aspirin. She was looking through the cabinets in the kitchen when Christian came up behind her. He'd deduced what she was in search of so he reached over her head and brought a bottle of aspirin off the shelf. His movement startled her. She jumped back and banged her head into the fridge.

The two stood there in the kitchen staring at each other…Ana holding her injured head and Christian clutching the little bottle. Awkwardly, he shoved the bottle at her and then turned on his heel and left the room. Now, what the hell?, she thought.

The rest of the brunch went no better. Ana wasn't a big eater and Christian believed in healthy appetites. So, when she sat there, pushing her food around on her plate…well, he couldn't stop himself.

"Eat," he softly commanded. She looked at him askance. Her jaw dropped when he dumped several pieces of broccoli and red potatoes on her plate. Everyone else was chatting away and didn't notice. Christian put his head down and concentrated on his own plate.

"Psst."

Christian ignored Ana's attempt to get his attention. That is, until he saw broccoli and red potatoes being dumped on his plate. The Dom in him was instantly alarmed and infuriated. He seethed quietly for a minute before picking up the broccoli and red potatoes and dumping them back on Ana's plate.

"You need to eat," he whispered. "You're too slender as it is." He put his head back down and considered the matter settled until he felt food landing on his head. He looked up at Ana, sitting with her arms crossed in front of her, a smug smirk on her face. He was too flummoxed to respond. No one, absolutely no one, had ever shown him such a lack of respect. No one had ever defied him like this. He was so flabbergasted that he wasn't even aware than the table had gone silent. Everyone was staring except Elliot, of course, who was covering his laughter with his napkin.

Ana and Christian simply stared at each other for a very long moment until Ana became aware of the others. Then she blushed with embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Grey. Your invitation was lovely and you are such gracious hosts. You don't deserve a guest like me. I think that I ought to be going now." With that, Ana stood and left the room, closing the front door quietly behind her. Piloting a car like Wanda made a dignified exit impossible, however. The family sat, still stunned, as Wanda backfired her way down the drive.

As she made her way home, Ana nearly burst into tears from the humiliation. Poor Kate. What must the genteel Greys think of her maintaining a friendship with a rude woman like Ana. Throwing food on their beloved son at their own table. Ana had just managed to park her car by her building when she laid her head against her steering wheel and began to bawl.

After several minutes, she was down to sniffling and blowing her nose. She gathered herself together and dragged herself into her apartment. Her embarrassment was now giving way to fury at that lout seated across from her at the Grey table. How dare he order her to eat? And when she defiantly refused to obey, he kept it up. After a moment, she found herself giggling as she pictured Grey with broccoli in his hair. Within minutes, she was rolling on the floor, holding her aching sides as she roared with laughter.

CHAPTER 13

"I'm sorry, Kate. I can't emphasize how badly I feel for my behavior. I hope that you can forgive me the embarrassment that I caused you in front of your boyfriend's family." Ana was sincere in her apology. Kate tried to keep a straight face but managed it for only a minute before she burst out laughing.

"Oh, Ana! Don't apologize. I can't remember ever having so much fun at the Greys. You know that they are lovely people but a tad stuffy, too. Except for Elliot. He is such a goof, a darling goof. As you closed the door, he finally let loose. He'd observed the entire interaction between you and Christian. The rest of us were baffled. He related the story and pretty soon everyone, sans Christian, of course, was laughing, too. Carrick looked at his son, the potatoes falling off his head, and told him that he was rude to you. Grace leaned across the table and begged me to beg you to return…soon."

"You're kidding! I should think that they'd never want me near their mansion again. Really, Kate. I threw food on the man!"

"Yes! Yes, you did. I don't think anyone has ever had the nerve to treat the Christian Grey in such a way. He's always had a mightier-than-thou way about him. His own parents treat him with kid gloves. And you! Whatever came over you? I've always been the one who misbehaves but even I could never have given Christian his due like you did. I am not worthy. I am not worthy," Kate sang as she bowed to Ana.

"Stop, Kate. I don't know what came over me. I really don't. That man is so…so…so smug and...and…egotistical and...well, he's just a pompous ass, that's all. He really does think that he is just all that. He's lucky I only clocked him with food. I wanted to smack the smug right out of him."

"Okay, sweetie, take a breath. You humbled him, all right. With everyone laughing, he just stood up and left, food still falling off him. When we left, El found a potato in the driveway. Set him off all over again. I could barely get him to shut up long enough to make love to me."

"Interesting thing, tho," Ana remarked. "I didn't have a nightmare last night. I slept like the proverbial log. Out like a light. Dead to the world. Have I left out any clichés?" asked Ana.

"I think you just wore out your brain internally feuding with Christian. Well, I have to get going. Elliot is in such a good mood that he's cooking tonight. Now," Kate said, waggling her finger at Ana, "you be sure to clean your plate tonight." Then she left, laughing into the night.

Ana smiled, put down her book and made a pot of tea. She hadn't been entirely truthful with Kate about her dreams. It was true that she hadn't had any nightmares but she did dream…of Christian. She couldn't recall the details but her body felt wired when she woke. Oh, well, she shrugged. We were probably fighting.

Relaxing on the couch, Ana didn't realize that she'd fallen asleep reading until a knock on the door awoke her. She decided to ignore whoever and go back to reading. The knocking continued. It was beginning to irritate her. Three knocks and whoever should go away, she thought. With effort, she hauled herself up from the couch and flung the door open, ready to suggest that her caller get lost.

Her caller was a huge bouquet of yellow roses on two legs. Slowly, the bouquet lowered and revealed the face of Christian Grey with a sheepish expression. He attempted a sincere smile. Ana sighed and waved him into her apartment. Without a word, she went into the kitchen and reappeared with a large vase. Christian put the roses into the vase and Ana put the vase on the kitchen counter.

"Forgiven. Good night."

"You haven't allowed me to apologize yet for my boorishness."

"I threw food on you. I think we're even. Besides, why do you care what I think?"

"Damned if I know, Ana. I've spent many hours trying to understand this attraction to you."

"Attraction?" Ana looked amazed.

"Yes," he smiled abashedly. "Having food thrown at me only seemed to strengthen my feelings for you."

"Okay, look. This is actually easy to decipher," said Ana.

"Good. Please explain it to me."

"You are a man who is used to getting what he wants when he wants it. You haven't been able to get me and so you want me all the more. Do you see?"

"Hmmm…sounds reasonable," replied Christian as he stepped closer to Ana. She looked slightly alarmed at his advance. She took a step back and found herself against the counter. Suddenly, she flashed back to a dream she'd had last night. In the dream, she was kissing Christian. Did she want to kiss Christian? she wondered.

By now, Christian had slipped his arm around her waist and his other arm around her back, with his hand holding the back of her head. He was looking at her lips…hungrily. She decided not to fight him. They'd kiss. She'd be unimpressed. He'd leave, satisfied at getting his way and she could go back to her book.

With great tenderness, Christian put his mouth on Ana's. At first touch, she felt rockets shooting off in her head. She wrapped her arms around his neck and they stood there, exploring each other's mouths, not wanting to stop even to breathe. She'd never been kissed like this. She didn't know that he'd never kissed anyone with the passion he was putting into this kiss. He didn't know that he could need anyone's mouth like he needed Ana's. Then he needed to nuzzle her neck, nibble her earlobes. He couldn't stop. Ana didn't want him to but she felt that this did not bode well. She leaned back and mumbled no…no.

Christian placed his forehead on Ana's. He was breathing hard. So was she.

"Now," he said, forcefully. "Now."

Then he picked her up and carried her down the hallway. He kicked open a door. There was a bed in the room. He'd never undressed a woman but he wasn't going to let inexperience stop him. He continued to kiss Ana as he fumbled with buttons and zippers. He pushed a naked Ana on to the bed and regarded her with wonder as he stripped. Then his mouth and his hands were everywhere at once.

Ana panted and moaned. She was dazed and overwhelmed. Somewhere, in the depths of her brain, a voice was saying that she should stop this but she couldn't hear it well over her heavy breathing. She felt him push her legs apart. She felt his tongue on her and then his fingers inside her. In less than a minute, a tsunami of spasms flooded over her. She gripped the sheets, arched her back and heard someone scream. While her head was still whirling, she felt Christian pull her legs up over his shoulders and then drive himself into her…over and over. "Don't stop, don't stop," she begged. Oh, God, he felt so big, so good. Then he cried out, burying his face in the crook of her neck. After a minute, he slipped her legs off, slipped out of her and rolled over unto his back.

The two laid there for quite some time, trying to catch their breaths…staring at the ceiling and wondering what the hell had just happened.

CHAPTER 14

What the hell had just happened kept happening. Every night when Ana returned home from work, Christian would be sitting on her stoop. It wasn't long before they were naked and in bed. They couldn't stop and they couldn't get enough of each other. Neither returned for brunch at Grey Manor, choosing instead to stay in bed every weekend. Each morning, as Grey kissed her goodbye as he departed for GEH, Ana would tell herself that last night was the last time, that she'd gotten him out of her system. And each night, he'd return. They did talk…some. Mostly reassuring each other than this infatuation was about to run its course. Surely, all this sex would get old soon but each time felt like the first time. Gradually, they began to take the time to really talk with each other, to tell each other about their days, and to learn each one's personal history.

Sharing personal history was difficult for Christian. He didn't like talking about his first four years with his birth mother and he didn't know how to explain his sex life from the age of fifteen. He couldn't look at Ana. He stared at the ceiling as he explained his induction into the life of a BDSM submissive and it was even harder to relate his promotion to Dominant. When he further revealed that he hadn't exactly left the life, he could feel Ana stiffen next to him. He'd cancelled on his current sub, Leia, for several weekends in a row now. This made him a bad Dom.

"Is she at Escala now, waiting for you, waiting to be tied up and chained and whipped and used?" Ana's voice was cold. He couldn't answer. She rolled over and away from him.

"Should I go, Ana?" he asked quietly.

"You shouldn't keep your guest waiting, Christian."

As soon as he'd closed the apartment door behind him, Ana turned on the light and picked up her laptop. She googled BDSM, gasping at the pictures of women bound into tight balls, hanging from ceilings and appearing to enjoy being beaten with belts. Her Christian…so passionate…so tender…was capable of doing this? He'd been cheating on his pathetic sub with her all these weeks. Did he hope to continue this lifestyle with Ana? Fat chance, she thought.

She needed to call time on this "thing" they'd been having. It was great sex but that was all it was. She wrote Christian an email asking that he not be waiting on her stoop tomorrow. She couldn't…wouldn't give him what he wanted. Then she cried herself to sleep.

Christian received her message as he sat in his car in the garage of Escala. His chest hurt so much that he wondered if he was having a heart attack. It couldn't end. He couldn't stop. So, BDSM would have to be in his past. With a heavy heart, he rode the elevator to the penthouse…the doors sliding open to reveal Leia standing, waiting. He took her into his study and terminated their contract. There were copious tears, declarations of love and demands that he keep her. It was forbidden in their contract for either to fall in love with the other but Leia had always hoped…just as the others had hoped. The generous severance package that Grey gave to each never seemed to help. They only wanted him. And, now, he only wanted Ana. Of course, he didn't tell Leia that he'd met someone. He never felt that his subs, women who wanted to be beaten, were entirely stable…Leia less so than any of the rest. He feared for Ana's safety and, thus, he'd arranged for Leia to fly home to Connecticut to attend the Paier College of Art, the best in the state.

It had then taken a week of wooing to get Ana back into his life and bed. To prove his sincerity, he had his red room dismantled, painted and turned into a spare room, of which he already had a dozen or so.

As he sat now in his study, emptying yet another bottle of Jim Beam, he sought comfort in the pictures of Ana that he kept on his laptop screen. Every image reminded him of how hard he'd fought to get her and keep her. He scowled as he also thought of all the times he'd screwed up so badly. The worst, of course, was when he cheated on her. Jesus, he thought, I was so stupid. He'd kept asking her to move in until he finally wore her down and she reluctantly agreed. Once he'd accomplished that move, he started proposing. She kept saying no. It was too soon. She wasn't ready. They both needed more time.

So, he chose a brilliant maneuver. He'd scare her into accepting his proposal by making her realize that other women wanted him even if she didn't. He took one of the many gorgeous blondes that he employed to dinner at the Mile High Club. They were photographed, of course, by the Seattle Nooz and Grey made certain to leave a copy in plain sight. Ana laughed and ignored the tabloid. So, Grey took it up a level. He took another blonde to dinner and then dancing and then crawled home drunk at dawn. The Nooz published a picture of him entering the Fairmont Hotel with her and then exiting at 6 a.m. He kept up this campaign for a week but Ana wasn't jealous. She was just exasperated.

"You're not making me jealous or fearful of losing you, Christian. All you're succeeding in doing is hurting the feelings of these innocent women, making you look like a worthless cheat and convincing me that you are definitely not ready to commit to marriage. You're childish, Christian. I don't want to marry a child. If you can't be a man, get out of my life."

Then she'd finished him off by moving out of their bedroom and into the former red room. He wasn't able to sleep without her. He began to see Dr. John Flynn, a prominent psychologist, for counseling.

"I've always wanted Ana. From the moment I first saw her at the Mile High. She took an instant dislike to me. When we finally connected, it was fireworks. I was already in love but Ana…well, she made me wait…for everything. All the things about me that had instantly won over every other woman I'd ever known meant little or nothing to her. She didn't care about money or anything material that I had to offer. I at last had to ask her if my looks pleased her…and she laughed. Then she said, offhandedly, that I knew that I was devastatingly handsome and, yes, that was a nice little extra. I mean, Dr. Flynn, I get women practically drooling over me, blatantly ogling me, draping themselves all over me at events."

"I think that I like this Ana. She is not shallow," Dr. Flynn observed. "Obviously, she loves you for you while for other women, the draw is your billions and your face. I should think that you'd be happy about that."

"Oh, I am. Really. I just don't know what she wants from me. If it isn't my body and my money, what can I give her?"

"I think that perhaps you are actually concerned with what you can use on her to get your own way all the time. Right now, its marriage. And, Christian, I must say that your attempts to legalize your relationship have up to now been remarkably clumsy. You try to get her to marry you by publically humiliating her? Good grief, man. All you've done is convince her that you're not to be trusted with her heart."

Over the next couple of months, individually and together, Ana and Christian sought counseling from Dr. Flynn. Christian learned a lot about himself and Ana's expectations and needs. Slowly, they came together. Christian privately felt that he loved Ana more than she loved him but it was what it was. He'd take what he could get.

They grew closer. Christian stopped asking Ana to marry him every other day. He tried hard to trust in her commitment to him, married or not. And one glorious day, snuggled together on The Grace, he let slip the words, "Mrs. Grey". Before he could take it back, she smiled at him like the sun and said yes. He always had the ring with him so he placed it on her finger before she could retract her acceptance. He felt a great peace come over him…his spirit seemed to soar.

He had a huge portrait from their wedding hanging on the wall in his study. It wasn't a posed shot. It was a candid photo taken when they'd slipped away from the crowd for a private dance. Ana was looking at him like he'd hung the moon in the sky that night…just for her. She loved him. He knew it. Why did he keep screwing up?

CHAPTER 15

Ana was awakened by the sound of the furnace kicking in. She supposed that she'd get used to that noise but it still startled her. She preferred the crackle of the logs in the woodstove. She was almost six months pregnant now and anxious to feel her baby moving inside her. She turned her head to remark to Christian, forgetting for a moment that she wasn't living with him anymore. It was looking more and more like she never would. She'd been living in the cottage for months and he'd not called or come by. Sometimes at the grocery store, she'd glance at the Seattle Nooz. If there were any articles about Christian Grey, they would be on the front page and above the fold. One day there had been a short bit about Grey taking the company global but nothing personal. She knew from Tom Ryan, from Gail and Taylor, that her husband was drinking to excess daily and rarely went to the office anymore. Ana had to hold tight to the stoicism that had kept her going all her life or she would crumble.

Christian had more than once accused her of not loving him as much as he loved her but it wasn't true. She'd never expected to find love and when she did, it was powerful beyond her imagination. This frightened her. She had to keep control or he would steamroll right over her. He hurt her time and again in order to prove to himself that she really wanted him. And she had caved on issues that seemed to mean so much to him….like traveling with him. That meant quitting her job, a job she loved. While her husband was in meetings all day and often dinner meetings as well, Ana and her bodyguard would wander the streets of Paris or Rome or London. She got a lot of sightseeing done but she was lonely. Her day only brightened when Christian would text her that he missed her so. Many nights while he wined and dined titans of industry, she would lie in their hotel bed listening for the sound of him returning. He would pull her into his arms and hold her so tightly and tell her that only knowing that she was waiting for him kept him sane during endless conferences. He was a wonderful lover and she thought that in the most basic sense. It was never just good sex with him. He always made deep and devoted love to her. And this kept her going.

She rose from the bed and pulled on her chenille robe, patting her belly and greeting her baby. Then she stoked the wood stove, just for the atmosphere, and then off to the kitchen to make tea and biscuits. She reflected that back at Escala, she would be unable to eat what she wanted for breakfast. Christian would insist that she have protein and good carbs which meant scrambled eggs with a green vegetable or two mixed in. She just wanted to have a scone and her tea while she read the morning paper. Sometimes she put her foot down and refused to "eat healthily" but then Christian would go off to work angry with her. Here, in her cottage, she could eat as she pleased. In fact, she could do everything the way she wanted to do it.

If not for her aching need for Christian, her life would be perfect.

A plate loaded with soft buttered biscuits and a pretty teapot she'd found at an antique shop in Paris looked so lovely sitting on the little kitchen table. She admired the tableau for a moment before opening the back door to collect the daily newspaper. When she saw the black Mercedes Benz parked up on the road, she didn't think much of it. Probably one of the coverts checking on her. She turned back, closed the door and sat down at the table. She'd barely finished one biscuit when there came a hard knock on her kitchen door. Groaning, she put her tea down and opened the door to find the last person she'd ever expect or want to find on her doorstep.

"Mrs. Lincoln. Whatever are you doing here? And how did you know where to find me? Oh, wait, if you're looking for my husband, he's at Escala as far as I know."

Mrs. Lincoln looked her over. Yellow chenille robe, bedhead, fluffy slippers…hausfrau.

"No, I came to see you. May I come in? It is awfully cold to stand out here talking."

"Of course," Ana replied graciously. "Would you like some tea, a biscuit perhaps?"

"No. Is that your breakfast? I should think that you'd be eating more than this for the sake of your child."

"Oh? Have you been reading up on pregnancy, Mrs. Lincoln?" Ana smirked.

"Well, I'm sure that Christian would prefer that you eat properly for the sake of his child."

"As you well know, I'm sure, Christian doesn't care about this child. Why are you here, Mrs. Lincoln?"

"I can't believe that it's come to this but your husband is a shadow of his former self. He is drinking. Your show of defiance has gone on long enough. It's time you go home and take care of him."

Ana chuckled. "I'm sure that you've tried to cradle him to your bosom. Your care of him must have been rejected if you're asking me to return to him. However, as you are also aware, you've convinced him that he can't be a good father. So, what's it to you?"

"Look, I don't care what you do with the brat. I am just concerned with Christian's health. Since you seem to be the only one who can get through to him, then I expect you to do so. Return home. Have your babbling, pooping, squalling creature…get a nanny and then nurse your man back to health."

"You are some piece of work, lady. I'm guessing you hope that when Christian is well, he'll once again be amenable to your constant intrusions on our lives. Maybe he'll tire of all that babbling and squalling and ship the two of us off to a country house and out of your way. Hmmm? Sound like a plan?"

Ana went to the door and indicated that Elena should leave. Both women were fuming.

"Well, I tried. I'll be sure to let Christian know that you care nothing for his health or happiness just as I've been telling him for some time. Maybe that will finally open his eyes to the truth of you and he can begin to move on."

"Speaking of moving on," Ana shoved Elena out the door and slammed it shut, locking it for good measure. Through the window, Ana could see Elena stomping up to her car. Ana began to shiver. She curled up in her chair in front of the stove and softly cried. She thought back to her wedding day, a day when everything at last seemed to be right. Christian was a loving and affectionate man who rarely took his eyes off of her. He seemed to be so happy, tears in his eyes as he spoke his vows. Their honeymoon trip through Europe was a dream and it seemed that all their misunderstandings and struggles were behind them. Ana didn't anticipate all the pain ahead of them. She certainly never saw herself pregnant and alone in a tiny cottage on a beach far from Escala, enduring unpleasant visits from Elena Lincoln. So, she wrapped her quilt around her trembling shoulders and cried for all the loss.

Returning to Seattle, Elena smiled to herself. This had been a good move. It made her look like she cared about Christian's marriage. Rather, Ana would now believe that Elena was standing by Christian's side, helping him to mend his broken heart. She could tell Christian about her visit with Ana and he would be impressed that Elena had reached out to Ana. His heart would break a little bit more at Ana's rejection. He would lean on Elena. Yes, she had pushed the situation one step closer to divorce.

CHAPTER 16

"Taylor? Taylor, could you come in here for a moment?" called Baxter from the security office. He was observing the monitors and needed a consultation before he acted on what he was seeing.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Check this out." Baxter indicated the monitor watching the front desk on the ground floor. A blowsy blonde they recognized as Mrs. Lincoln was having a heated argument with the security guard. She pushed past him and began pounding on the elevator doors.

"I swear, even with the sound turned off, I can hear her howling like a banshee," grumbled Baxter. "I guess she figured out that you had the code changed. Do we let her up? She'll probably try to get Grey on the phone."

Taylor sighed. "I'll check in with the boss. Last I looked, he was out cold. Tell Charlie to tell Mrs. Lincoln that he's checking in with us."

Damn, thought Taylor, he'd been having such a nice morning reading in bed with Gail.

Looking in the study, he found Christian passed out on the couch. Taylor looked around for the boss's phone so he could turn off the ringer. It was at that unfortunate moment that Grey chose to suddenly snap awake.

"Ana?"

"Sir, it's Taylor. How's your head?"

"What head?" Grey answered. He forced his body to come to a sitting position, squinting his eyes at the sun coming in the window.

"Sir, Mrs. Lincoln wants to come up. Shall I permit her, sir?"

"Christ, what does that harridan want now?" Grey muttered.

"Same thing she always wants, I imagine. Your undivided attention…your checkbook…. Let me tell her to go away. She's only going to make your headache worse. I'll get some Tylenol and water." Taylor turned to go without waiting for Grey's answer when Grey called him back.

"Let her up. Sometimes she can be quite amusing in her attempts to curry my favor."

Taylor sighed and nodded. He'd always thought that Christian Grey was the most amazing man he'd ever known. Brilliant. Driven. And after he'd met Ana, capable of great love. However, he'd been behaving stupidly and self-destructively for months now and it was really wearing Taylor down. If Gail would leave Grey, he'd have been gone by now.

"Okay, Baxter, let her up but do not give her the code. If Grey asks for it, lie. Understand?"

Baxter nodded and grudgingly informed Charlie to send the delightful Mrs. Lincoln up to the penthouse. He decided to continue hiding out in the security office rather than greeting the woman as he usually did with all visitors. She certainly knew her way around.

He was tempted to open the surveillance, audio and visual, of the study but realized that it wasn't necessary. Mrs. Lincoln was easy to hear and he knew that Taylor would be keeping watch close by.

Elena started her mouth the second the elevator doors opened. The woman knew language Taylor had to join the army to learn. She kept up a running stream of obscenities as her stilettos clicked and clacked across the marble floors on the way to the study. She shoved the door open and glared at Christian. He didn't notice since he had not yet acknowledged her presence. He stood up and walked over to the window to close the blinds. His brain was about to crack his skull open. He turned and feigned surprise at Elena's appearance.

"Rough night, Elena?" he smirked, taking in her windblown bouffant, her red cheeks and watery eyes.

Elena stood next to his desk, agitatedly tapping her red inch-long fake nails on the mahogany.

"Watch the claws, Elena. I don't want to have my desk refinished."

"I've just been to the beach. It's cold, with hurricane force winds." Any breeze that threatened Elena's yellow beehive was a hurricane force wind.

"Odd day for a trip to the water."

"I went to have a reasonable conversation with your wife. It was foolish of me to think that such a thing is possible with someone like her."

Now she had Grey's attention. He turned on her with a fury.

"What the fuck?! What gave you the idea that you had any right to be bothering Ana?!" he yelled.

"I felt that she should know that you are a mess, that she should end this silly tantrum of hers. I asked her to come home to you and take care of you like any decent wife ought. I didn't have great hopes but I had to try…for your sake." Elena defended her actions well, she thought.

"Tantrum! I'm the one having the tantrum, Elena. I'm the one who needs to come my senses. And what would you know about being a decent wife? You cheated on your husband with a teenage boy! How dare you use such a flimsy excuse to harass my pregnant wife?!" Grey was livid. This, Elena had not expected.

"Christian, did you not hear me? I told her that you are suffering and she refused to care. How can you excuse such callousness?"

At that moment, Taylor walked in with pills and water, placing them on the desk and then retreating.

Grey popped the pills and knocked back the water. He took a deep breath before responding to Elena's criticism of his wife.

"The last thing Ana could ever be is callous, Elena. If you were trying to hurt her, make her feel guilty, I'm sure that you succeeded. Ana has a good and pure heart and leaving me to protect her baby was very difficult for her. If anyone has been callous, it's been me." He spoke quietly….and sadly.

"No, Christian. She tricked you into marriage and then to cement the deal, tricked you into fatherhood. She made you abandon your red room and the life you so needed. She's done nothing but hurt you from the beginning. You're not thinking straight since she worked her hoodoo on you. I'm just trying to get you back to the man you were. Look what she's reduced you to after a couple of years with her."

"Elena, you took an angry and confused teenage boy and turned him into a creature who thought that the only way that he could be happy was by living the way you taught him. Ana took a bored, selfish man-child and turned him into a devoted and happy husband. An actual adult, Elena. God, what I put her through. I could blame you entirely but I no longer choose to give you that much power over me. Taylor!"

Taylor immediately popped his head in the door. "Sir?"

"Get me an appointment with Dr. Flynn at his earliest possible convenience. Oh, and show Mrs. Lincoln to the door. She is no longer welcome here."

Grey's eyes were dark and cold. Elena was stunned…too stunned to even protest. She felt, indeed, that she was in danger. She backed out of the room and allowed Taylor to take her to the elevator. She noted the smug smirk on his face as the doors closed between them.

CHAPTER 17

"I want my wife back, Dr. Flynn. Tell me how to do that. I'll pay anything you ask," Christian begged of the portly man looking at him over his glasses.

Dr. Flynn smiled. "I don't charge by results, Christian. My fee is the same regardless of my client's success in therapy."

"Well, that doesn't seem fair," frowned Christian.

Dr. Flynn just shook his head. "You can't buy mental health, Christian. You work for it. I can only guide you. Now, we've been down this road before. A couple of times, I believe. Each time you seemed to have learned your lesson and changed your ways. However, I take it that you've found a new way to alienate your wife."

"Yes, and this time, she left me. We haven't been face to face in months. We haven't talked either. It's clear that I have to make the first move. I just don't know what that would be."

"Let's start with the issue or issues that forced Ana to leave you. Must be pretty bad. She didn't leave you when you cheated on her. She didn't leave you when you forced her to host your former pimp on numerous occasions. She didn't leave you when you guilted her into quitting a job she loved to follow you around the world on business trips so that you wouldn't be lonely. Need I go on?"

"No."

"All right, then. I'm befuddled as to what you could have done to drive her away."

"I…I tried to get her to abort her baby," muttered a regretful Grey.

"Holy sh.." Dr. Flynn shook his head. "Well, when you screw up, you really do a bang-up job of it. Here I thought your cheating on her was massively stupid but…"

"You don't have to rub it in," whined Christian.

"Oh, but I do! What the devil were you thinking?!"

"I wasn't thinking. I was scared witless. We weren't trying and we'd thought no kids for several years. Her pregnancy was unexpected and I can't be a father. I'm barely a half-decent husband, for Christ's sake. I pressured her to terminate and then, just to really screw the pooch, I made an appointment for a D & C. I made love to Ana and then announced my news and went to sleep. When I woke up, she'd flown the nest. She's living in a cottage on the beach."

"Now? In this weather?"

"I bought all the cottages along that beach and hired the former owner to continue managing the places. I had him refurbish. Furnaces, insulation, siding…everything possible to make it a good home for Ana. She doesn't know, of course.

"For the past months, I've just been sleeping in the study and drinking myself to death. I've given up going to work. As soon as I wake up from one drunken binge, I start on the next. Today my former pimp, as you describe her, dropped by to tell me that she went to Ana's cottage to lecture her on being a good wife."

Dr. Flynn laughed heartily at that and Christian soon joined him. Yeah. Irony.

"Anyway, if I know Ana, she's probably taken that accusation to heart and is beating herself up over it."

"Have you changed your mind about the child?"

"No. I'll be as rotten a father now as I knew I would be months ago. I don't know what to do about that. If I tell her that I've changed, I'll be lying and she'll know. If I tell her that I'll do my best, she might trust me but when she sees how bad I am, she'll leave me again and she'll never return.

"My life is nothing without her, Doc. Tell me what to do." Christian's eyes were so sad and pleading that Dr. Flynn's professionally detached heart almost broke for him.

"Christian, she's going to be a mother and that baby is going to need a father. If you're certain that you can't be that father, then perhaps the decent thing to do is give her up and let her find someone who'll want to be the child's father."

Christian shook his head. "If I'm going to do that, I might as well put a bullet in my head and make her a widow. Giving Ana up would be signing my own death warrant. Besides, Ana would blame herself and suffer for it the rest of her days. No, there's got to be a way to make me be a good father."

"All right. I put it to you then. Do you want me to give you a magic potion that'll make you a good father?" Flynn smiled patiently at his client.

"Could you do that? Oh, I don't mean a magic potion but maybe something like hypnosis?"

"Hypnosis doesn't work unless you want the outcome you're being hypnotized about. For instance, if you don't want to quit smoking, hypnosis won't change your mind. Do you want to be a good father, Christian?"

Christian went mute for some time. Flynn sat waiting, watching Grey. Just when he thought that he would have to push for an answer, Christian looked up.

"Yes, I want to be a good father. Hypnotize me."

"Now we're getting somewhere. Wanting something gets you half way there. If you want to be a good father, you will be. I'll give you some books on the topic and I want you to read them cover to cover. This is great progress, Christian. Don't you see that?"

"No. Suppose I wanted to be a great violinist. No matter how much I wanted it and no matter how much I read books about it, I don't have it in me to be a great violinist."

"That isn't a good analogy, Christian. The urge to nurture our own children is built into our psyche's. I personally had no interest in children and did not enjoy their company until I had my own. I still am not interested in other people's offspring but I'd walk into a blast furnace for my own kids. You just need to believe that love will overcome you the moment you meet your child. Reading these books is just a way to educate you as to a child's needs."

Christian left Flynn's office with a pile of books. He suddenly wanted Ana to know that he was trying. He worried that Elena's visit may have upset his wife. He didn't want her to worry about him. He sat for a while in his R8 trying to compose an email on his phone. Everything he began to write, he soon erased. It all sounded so cold. He started the car and just drove. He was half way to the beach before he realized where he was going.

CHAPTER 18

Ana looked out at the water. In a few months, she could carry her newborn down to the beach. She couldn't wait for her son to hear the lapping of the waters of Puget Sound. She thought that she would get a little boat, perhaps…a little putt-putt for her and her son to float around the calm waters. It was a shame that the water was too cold for swimming but maybe that was a good thing, a deterrent should her little boy decide to go into the water without Mommy.

Ana daydreamed about a lot of things these days. Mostly, she thought about her future with her baby…all the things she wanted to show him, teach him. She hoped that he inherited his daddy's musical talent. She looked around the cottage and wondered where she'd fit a piano. Maybe she'd buy the cottage and add on to it.

She considered all these things in her future to keep from dwelling on the future that she wasn't going to have…with Christian. It was hard enough that he filled her dreams at night. She had to try to keep him out of her daydreams. She didn't want to think what she would one day have to tell her son about the man who was his father. Still, she knew that she had to be prepared. She'd awakened herself often in the middle of the night calling out for her husband.

Her son would hear her. He would ask. He would watch her tears. She didn't want him to hate Christian but she could hardly ask him to love the man who wanted neither of them.

That visit from Elena a few weeks back had taken Ana into a dark place. For many days she got out of bed only to seek nourishment and only for her baby's sake. It was a cycle of sleeping and dreaming of Christian and, then, waking and wallowing in sadness as Christian filled her thoughts. She worried about him all the time. She wanted him all the time.

Maybe, she despaired, she hadn't been a good wife. Maybe she hadn't appreciated him as much as she should have. God knows, he loved her. She felt the enormity of his love for her in his words, his touch. She never woke a morning without seeing his eyes watching her and smiling as he kissed her. She never wanted for affection. He gave her all the love she'd never had in her life and more.

He also gave her more pain than she'd ever known. Still, now, as she read alone in the evening in front of her wood stove, she would suddenly feel overwhelmed with longing. Her heart would hurt. She would have to stop and take deep breaths over and over to calm herself. Sometimes, it didn't work and then she'd just give in to the pain and cry. She'd go to bed, beaconing Christian to come to her in her dreams.

One night she'd fallen asleep in front of the stove and dreamed that she heard his R8 up on the road. She dreamt that he came to the window and looked in on her. She awakened sure that she could hear the R8's engine roar as he drove away. She ran to the door and flung it open, calling his name but there was nothing, no one, there. Closing the door, she fell to the floor, sobbing.

She didn't know, of course, that Christian had been there. He was going to knock but he saw her sleeping and lost his nerve. She was very pregnant and needed her rest. He shouldn't disturb her and, lord knows, seeing him would probably very much disturb her. He just looked for a while before he walked back up the steps to the road and drove away, trying to see clearly through his tear-filled eyes.

When he finally got back to Escala, he reached for the Jim Beam. Then he stopped, looking at the stack of books he'd set down on his desk. He picked up the first one and sat on the couch and began to read about fatherhood. He never again reached for the Jim Beam.

CHAPTER 19

Ana had a bad week…and then another. Her third trimester was proving difficult, both physically and emotionally. Tom Ryan dropped by every day to check on her. It seemed to him that she wasn't well but she insisted that she was fine. Kate and Elliot came by several times. Kate would make sure that Ana was eating…soup, at least. Elliot was busy putting together the nursery. Her landlord had painted the room a pale green before Ana knew that she was having a boy but she liked the color. Elliot tightly taped down a large area rug and then did the same with the rugs in her bedroom and the parlor. He assembled the crib she'd purchased from IKEA…also the changing table. Mia had bought an antique bureau for her first nephew's wardrobe and then proceeded to fill it with clothes in all sizes…new born sizes in the top drawer. Grace and Carrick had given her a beautiful antique mirror and a framed picture of the entire family. This last was problematic because Christian was also in the shot. Still, Ana figured that she had a year or so before her son could identify everyone. The nursery needed a few touches yet. A rocking chair. A bookcase.

With two months to go, Ana was finding that her bulk was making grocery shopping difficult. She was always tired, for one thing, but that was because she was finding it harder to get a decent night's sleep. The baby seemed to be settling on top of her bladder so she was having to get up several times a night. He was also quite active…again, at night. Between her dreams of Christian, her need to pee and the baby kicking, she was exhausted.

Her hormones were obstructing her need to be stoic. That stoicism had been the personality trait that had gotten her through a lonely life but it was failing her now. Dr. Greene had been concerned at her last visit about her blood pressure, advising Ana to "take it easy". Ana found that laughable. All she did was take it easy, she thought. Her only exercise was walking down the road to the grocery store and back. Tom Ryan wanted to drive her but she was adamant that she needed to be independent. So, once a week she'd push her borrowed cart back and forth while Tom followed her in the car. The one thing that he wouldn't give in on was carrying the bags down the steps and into the house.

It was on her usual shopping day that Ana heard the knocking on her door. She wasn't expecting anyone but that didn't stop people from showing up. She was cozy on her little couch when the knock came about 10 a.m. Probably Tom, she thought. He'd told her that one day he'd just take her shopping list to the store and return with her groceries whether she liked it or not. She supposed that she could ignore the insistent knock.

"Go away, Tom!" she yelled. "I'm fine and I don't need any supplies."

When he answered with more knocks, Ana hefted herself to her feet and stomped over to the door, ready to tear into that sweetheart of a man. Hormones.

Ana threw the door open and, startled, stumbled backward and twisted her ankle. She cried out in pain but Christian caught her before she hit the floor. He helped her to the couch and immediately raised her foot to rest on the ottoman. The ankle was already swelling. Without a word, he went into the kitchen and returned with a towel and a bag of peas. Ana watched his face, serious and concentrated, as he improvised a cold compress around her ankle. Once satisfied with his work, he looked up into the blue eyes that could always take him to his knees.

"Does it hurt bad?"

Without waiting for an answer, he called his mother. After a brief consultation with Dr. Grey, he rang off.

"If the swelling doesn't go down within a couple hours, you'll need an x-ray. Answer me. Does it hurt bad?"

"Yes. Why are you here, Christian?" Ana's heart was pounding with competing emotions…joy, anger, relief, confusion.

"To take you shopping for groceries. Maybe you can intimidate Ryan but not me." It was a bald faced lie and they both knew it.

"Did Tom call you?" Ana asked.

"No. His team is loyal to you even if I write the checks."

"I never asked you to assign coverts to me, Christian," she said crossly.

"Yeah. I know that you hate that. Tough. You insist on living out in the boonies, pregnant no less, and you get coverts."

For a long moment, they simply looked at each other, neither wanting to make the first move. The first move being what?, they wondered.

"Where's your grocery list?" Christian looked around and then went into the kitchen, finding the list on the counter. Without another word, he left the house. Ana wanted to call him back…wanted to throw her arms around his neck…wanted….but no. She had to keep her distance, at least physically. It wasn't that she feared being forced to abort. It was far too late for that but she couldn't show him her weakness. She'd been strong all her life because it was necessary…until Christian. And, then, often because of Christian.

She gritted her teeth and took her foot off the ottoman. She forced herself to her feet and put weight on her bandaged ankle. When Christian returned to his helpless little wifey, he'd find her up and about. Two seconds, she winced with pain and fell to the floor, banging her head.

She couldn't get up and she soon discerned the metallic taste of blood in her mouth as it ran down from her head. Damn, she thought. Christian is going to return to his helpless little wifey. Damn, damn, damn.

CHAPTER 20

Ana didn't know how long she'd been lying there. She'd been fading in and out. Mostly dozing, she figured. Geez, her ankle hurt and so did her head. She heard the roar of the R8 pulling up outside and braced herself for a lecture from Mr. Know-it-all. Well, she'd just spit blood in his face.

The door opened and Christian gasped at the sight of his wife lying on the floor, her head bloodying the rug, her eyes closed. She opened them and yelled at him.

"Don't drop the eggs!"

Christian set the bags on the couch and ran into the kitchen for a wet towel. With great care, he lifted Ana's head and placed the towel under her head.

"Head wounds always bleed dramatically but it's just a bump," Ana reassured him, noticing that his hands were shaking. "Impressive but nothing serious."

"Hold that against your head," Christian ordered, as he picked her up. He hadn't worked out since Ana left him and meanwhile she'd put on plenty of baby weight which is why the ease with which he lifted and carried her to the couch so disturbed him.

Lifting her head to examine the cut, he snarled, "Did you get up the second I left or wait a whole minute? Geez, Ana. I think that you need stitches. You don't have the sense God gave a goose."

"I thought that I could just hop into the kitchen for a drink," she lied.

"No, you thought that you could show me just how independent you are," Christian fumed.

"I am independent. Always have been," she firmly asserted, crossing her arms.

"What were you planning to do if I hadn't returned, hmm?"

"First of all, I wouldn't have twisted my ankle if you hadn't come to my door."

Christian couldn't argue with that. He'd surprised her. He'd thought to call but feared that she would refuse to see him.

"Rest there. Please. I'm going to put the groceries away and then take you to that clinic in Bainbridge."

"There are bandages in the bathroom cabinet. They'll do well enough," Ana protested.

Christian said nothing while he stashed the groceries. Then he returned to Ana, lifted her hand from the towel and removed it. It was soaked through and through with her blood.

"Yeah. Sure. I'll get another towel and then we're leaving."

Ana felt a bit dizzy. She was indignant. She wanted to be right! She knew, however, that she was wrong. Christian applied another towel to her wound and secured it to her head with his belt. Then, he picked her up and carried her up the steps to his car. He was concerned but he also couldn't deny that she felt so good in his arms again.

Bainbridge Clinic

"Well, you'll need a few stitches but the cat scan shows just a mild concussion. You're lucky what with all the blood you lost. You'll be dizzy for a while," said the doctor. He turned to Christian. "Keep a close eye on her and a bucket handy. She'll likely have some nausea as well. The ankle is just a sprain but stay off it entirely for a few days."

"Is the baby okay?" Christian asked nervously.

"First thing we checked before the x-rays. He's doing fine. Cute little fella. Want to see the ultra sound pictures?"

Both parents nodded eagerly tho' Ana mostly watched for Christian's reaction. He actually seemed interested. And he was the first to ask about the effect of Ana's fall on the baby's health. She was suspicious. What was his game? Convince her he cared and lure her back home? Heck, she already considered herself to be home.

Escala had been a red room of pain.

It had been frequent visits from Elena Lincoln. It had been Christian coming home in the morning, hungover from the night before. It had been the Seattle Nooz placed conspicuously on the breakfast counter, an image of her husband supposedly getting a room at the Fairmont Hotel with some hot blonde hanging off him. And it had been learning that the father of her child had arranged to have it 'terminated'. No, except for Gail, Escala had never meant home.

On the trip back to the cottage, Ana stared quietly out the window. She'd once loved this hot little car. She drove it better than Christian. She silently laughed at the memory of doing 120 mph on that narrow country lane with Christian sitting next to her, gripping the dash. As soon as she slammed into the R8's parking spot in the garage, most of which was taken up with Christian's vehicles, she'd crawled up on his lap and fucked him right there…not caring that they could so easily be discovered. She was high and he was relieved that they'd lived. He had to admit, much later of course, that she was a hell of a driver. It was one of her few small triumphs when he had so many to trumpet. He didn't know about the time she'd driven on the German autobahn while he sat in a meeting in Berlin. She'd read recently that Germany had now imposed speed limits. What a shame, she thought.

Arriving home, Ana waited until Christian came around to her door. Even if she could walk, he would always insist that he open her door. She thought it silly…old fashioned but sweet.

"Put your arms around my neck," Christian said, as he lifted her from the low seat. He made a mental note to have Ryan take the R8 back to Escala and bring him the Mercedes SUV. He would need a car seat soon, too. Maybe he and Ana could shop for one together after he'd done his research.

Ana suddenly felt very tired. Too much excitement. Too many injuries. She'd forgotten to eat as yet and it was late in the afternoon. Now she was too nauseated to eat anything. Her head hurt. Her ankle hurt. She was so drowsy that she didn't remember being carried across her front porch.

Christian laid his sleeping wife on the couch and covered her with an afghan. He stoked the wood stove and picked up Ana's copy of What to expect when you're expecting. Hmmm…he hadn't read this one. He settled himself in the overstuffed club chair and began chapter one after one more check of his wife. He kissed her head and made certain that she was in a comfortable position. She'd been out like a light before he opened the front door. He reminded himself that the doctor said that she was all right.

Mild concussion. Sprained ankle. He looked up at the end of every page to make sure that she was still all right. Maybe he'd have his mother come by later to double check.

CHAPTER 22

"Ana is really conked out," said Grace. "She didn't even wake when I was examining her."

"She is okay, tho', right?" Christian's brow was furrowed with worry. "I mean, her vitals and all?"

"Yes, dear. Stop fretting about every little thing."

"She's gone through this whole pregnancy alone, Mom. I should have been here all along to watch out for her and protect her. I really messed up badly."

Ana stirred and moaned, prompting Christian to jump to his feet and rush to the couch. He stroked her forehead, remarking to Dr. Grey that she felt warm. His mother reassured him that Ana was probably just warm because he had her so bundled up and the stove blazing away. It touched her so that her cold, self-absorbed son was so protective of his wife. It had been difficult to watch their marriage. Grace never knew which Christian was going to show up for brunch on Sundays. Sometimes he was devoted and loving, unable to take his eyes or his hands off of Ana. Other Sundays, he was grumpy and removed, irritated with Ana for one thing or another. Grace could see how it was wearing on Ana. Then came what at first had seemed the most wonderful news…a baby on the way…followed by the horrible news that Ana had left her son. And when the reason for this was disclosed to Grace, she broke down and sobbed in Carrick's arms. This would be only the second baby born to the Grey family…Kate's and Elliot's Ava being the first. To know that her son didn't want the child and had arranged to end the pregnancy just broke Grace's heart. She kept questioning herself and wondering what she had done wrong in raising Christian to have him turn his back on his own flesh and blood.

"What are your plans, Christian?"

"Well, that kind of depends on Ana, Mom. I'm certainly not going to leave her while she's hurt. I'd like her to come home but I'm pretty sure that that isn't Escala. She has too many bad memories of that place. I made sure of that, didn't I? She's bound and determined to go it alone…as she always has. She gave up a lot of her independence when she trusted in me and look how I betrayed that trust. I don't know if she'll be willing to take another chance on me. I do know, however, that I want to be a father to my son…if she'll let me."

"Of course, she'll let you, Christian. I'm certain that she wants that, too. But you've scared her badly, son, and she's forgiven and forgiven. Does she have it in her to forgive again? Perhaps that's too much to ask."

Grace's heart ached to see Christian so sad and lost. Only with Ana had she ever seen him feeling happy and safe. She prayed that Ana had one more act of forgiveness in her heart. Just one more time. But how many times can one be kicked before it seems wisest to just stay down?

After Grace left, Christian sat again in the club chair but he couldn't concentrate on his book. All he wanted to do was watch Ana sleep. He didn't know how many opportunities he'd have in the future. Maybe he'd only see Ana when he arrived to pick up his son on visitation days. It was a thought that ripped through him like a knife.

He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there when Ana's eyes opened.

"Christian? You're still here?"

"Of course, you heard the doctor. You have a concussion and shouldn't be left alone."

"Well, if you have things to do, I'm sure that Kate will come over."

"Nothing to do. Are you hungry? Have you even eaten today? How about chicken noodle soup? Don't worry. Gail made it," he smiled.

"Hmm…yes, I guess I should eat." Without thinking she swung her feet off the couch and prepared to stand up. Christian gently pushed her down on the couch, pointing at her ankle.

"Oh, yeah. Forgot. I feel a little woozy."

"I'll make up a tray. Do you need to use the toilet?"

Ana frowned. She didn't feel that they any longer had that level of intimacy. "I'll use the crutches the clinic gave me." He helped her to her feet and watched carefully as she hobbled to the bathroom.

When she returned, a tray with soup, crackers and milk awaited her. She ate slowly, aware of Christian's eyes the whole time.

"After I finish this, I think that I'll retire for the night. You can see yourself out."

"Ah, no. I'm not going to leave you until you're well." He held his breath. He couldn't very well demand to stay if she wanted him gone. She looked dubious and then went back to eating her dinner.

"You're too tall to sleep on this couch," she pointed out.

"I'll be fine on the floor."

Ana said nothing. Then to his amazement, she suggested that he sleep in her bed.

"Really?" He couldn't believe his luck…until she said that she would continue sleeping on the couch.

"No. You need a good rest. I'm not taking your bed."

Ana sipped more of the soup and crumbled some crackers into the broth. After finishing her dinner, Christian took the tray into the kitchen and began to clean up. Ana noted that her copy of What to Expect was lying on the chair where Christian had been sitting.

"Christian? Have you been reading this book?"

"Yeah. Dr. Flynn gave me a half dozen or so but I didn't have this one. It's good," he replied as he washed all the dishes. Ana was perplexed but said nothing. She had to keep up her guard. Just his presence was enough to weaken her resolve. Christian had no idea how little it would take for Ana to fall back into his arms.

"Are you feeling sick at all, Ana?" he asked.

"A little nausea is all," she answered.

"Do you have a small bucket here?" Christian asked as he rummaged around in her lower cabinets. "You should keep it next to your bed. You can't be running pell-mell into the bath in the middle of the night with that ankle."

"There's a blue one in the pantry next to the fridge." With that she grabbed her crutches and hopped into the bath to get ready for bed. She stood at the vanity, staring at herself in the mirror. Grimacing, she realized that she hadn't been paying much attention to her appearance lately. Christian had always told her that she was a beauty. He probably didn't think that now.

She scrubbed her face and applied a cream. She hadn't washed her hair in a couple of days but she brushed it and it looked all right, she supposed. And look at her…gorgeously attired…in a sweat suit. Sighing, she decided to give up. She was fat. Her hair was thin and dull. Her eyes were tired. She felt about as sexy as an hippo taking a mud bath.

She came out of the bathroom to find Christian sitting on the couch with his feet up on the ottoman, reading her book. His mind always amazed her. He was half way through the text already.

"Did you say that you've been reading books on pregnancy?" She was curious about this development.

"No, this is my first on pregnancy itself. The others were about fatherhood. Are you turning in now?"

"Yes. There are blankets and pillows in the hall closet. Good night, Christian." Ana turned toward her bedroom door, stopped and turned back. "Thank you for your help today."

He smiled at her…that dazzling smile that made her heart yearn for him. "You're welcome. Good night."

As Ana closed her door, Christian put the book down and leaned his head back, breathing a sigh of relief. Well, that had gone better than he'd anticipated. He'd thought that he'd have a real fight on his hands. He knew that he wouldn't sleep well. Not just because he never did without Ana but also because he would worry all night about her getting up to go to the bathroom. He pictured her falling, tumbling head first into a wall. So, he sat up on the couch, reading.

He'd polished off several more chapters when he was startled to hear Ana cry out his name. He rushed to her side, only to find her tossing in her sleep, crying. He kicked off his shoes, slipped beneath the covers and enveloped Ana in his embrace. She settled almost immediately, sighing softly.

She needed me, he said to himself with a smile. She needed me. A moment later, he also fell sound asleep.

CHAPTER 23

When Ana awoke in the morning, she realized that she'd slept through the night. Through her bedroom window, she could see that the sun was already high in the sky. She silently thanked her son for sleeping all night and not doing so on her bladder. She'd had a good dream, too.

She was resting in Christian's arms, safe and warm. She wondered how well he had slept on her floor.

She swung her legs off the bed, remembering at the last moment that she needed to use her crutches. In the bath, as she washed her hands, she heard voices…heated voices. When she limped into the parlor, she could see Christian and Elena Lincoln on the porch. Both were quite angry. Elena was standing still with her arms crossed. Christian was pacing furiously, tearing at his hair. Ana hobbled closer to the window to listen.

"Christian, you are an intensely sensual man and you haven't had sex in what? Almost six months? How long can you go on like this before you crack? It isn't natural and certainly not for a man like you."

"How many times and in how many ways do I have to tell you, Elena, before you get it, huh? Sex with just any person would be meaningless to me. I need Ana and only Ana. I haven't spent the past months hungering for a physical connection. I've spent it hungering for Ana. I've told you many times and you don't seem to hear me!"

"And how many times do I have to tell you that you are making a mistake before you see the light?" Elena retorted. "You are wasting your time on that girl. She isn't right for you and never will be. You are now unfortunately tied to her for life. However, that doesn't mean that you can't pay her off and send her on her way. You can still be the premier dominant that you've always been."

"I've rid myself of the red room and, guess what, Elena? I've never missed it for a minute, not a nanosecond. It was gone and that whole ugly part of my life was gone. It is not up for discussion now. You tried to make me think that BDSM was necessary for my happiness and I believed you. Well, maybe it is necessary for some others and yippy for them but it isn't for me!

"Get this through your ever thickening skull! Ana is happiness and happiness is Ana."

"You are a brilliant businessman, Christian, but you are naïve and ill-informed as a man. You will come back to me one day, begging for help, begging for a way back to the real you. And I, good lord, will probably forgive you. But I will never forgive that backwoods strumpet for using you so egregiously and, I promise you, I will find a way to repay her ruination of you!"

At this, Christian stopped his pacing, whirled around and grabbed Elena by the throat. Ana gasped as it appeared that her husband was strangling Elena. She hobbled as quickly as possible to the door and out unto the porch. She called Christian's name but he didn't seem to hear her. His face was beet red and his hands were tight around Elena's neck. She was turning blue.

Ana somehow inserted herself between their two heads and placed her hands on Christian's face. She smiled at him lovingly. "Please release her, Christian. I need you and you can't help me if you're in jail for murder." Almost immediately, Christian dropped his grip on Elena's neck. She stumbled to a chair and sat coughing and gasping for breath. Christian stood looking at Ana. He was breathing hard and seemed to be unaware of his surroundings. Ana sat on the bench and pulled him down beside her. She continued to hold his face and touched her forehead to his. Gradually, his breath slowed and he relaxed.

"You shouldn't be out here, honey. It's too cold for you and the baby. Go back inside."

"In a moment."

At that, Ana stood up and made her way to Elena, sitting in Ana's favorite porch chair. She looked down at the only person that she could say that she truly loathed. "Are you all right, Mrs. Lincoln?" she coolly inquired. Elena glared at her with unvarnished hatred and opened her mouth to say something nasty. Instead, she howled as Ana smashed the tip of her crutch into her foot.

"Now limp on out of here, lady, before I haul off and whack you!"

Ana was leaning on one crutch and wielding the other like a club. Elena looked alarmed. Christian had a stupid grin on his face. He was still a bit out of it.

"Move!" Ana ordered, "and do. not. return."

Elena, dazed by the dual attacks on her, stumbled to the steps and climbed hurriedly up to her Benz. She tore down the lane as if the devil were on her tail. But she wouldn't be counted out. In a couple of hours, having fortified herself with a stiff drink, she would begin to plot revenge.

And both Ana and Christian knew it.

But right now, it didn't matter. Christian followed Ana back into the house and saw to it that she was seated comfortably on the couch under an afghan with her foot on the ottoman. Then he went into the kitchen and begin to work on breakfast.

"Feel like French toast with powdered sugar?"

"And orange juice, please."

"Want the juice now?"

"Yes, please. Big glass."

Christian brought the juice to Ana and had started back to the kitchen when Ana called him back.

"When did Elena arrive?"

"Around ten minutes before you came out. I was trying to keep her quiet so you wouldn't be disturbed. You need your sleep. I'm sorry that we woke you." Christian was shamefaced, a look that Ana had never before seen.

"You didn't wake me. I just woke. I slept wonderfully last night. I didn't get up once."

"You had a bad dream. You called out my name. You called out for me."

"Huh. Hmm...what did you do?"

"I took you into my arms and you fell back to sleep. I fell to sleep almost immediately. First decent night's rest I've had since you left me."

Ana tried to cover her feelings by drinking her juice. Christian went back into the kitchen to work on the French toast. Ana just watched him. She wished he was naked…WHAT? Where the hell did that come from. Get a grip, she told herself. She'd been doing so well without him. But now she was confronted by the impossibly handsome man she'd been trying so hard to think ill of and here he was…in the flesh. And oh, what flesh! Those shoulders. Those arms. He was wearing a white shirt with the sleeves turned up, a look that always knocked her out. Oh, lord love a duck…this was not good. She was nearly eight months pregnant and never a raving beauty. And those pants that he was wearing were too tight.

Stop. Stop! Do math problems in your head, she told herself. She closed her eyes and began the multiplication tables. When Christian put a tray on her lap, he wondered why she was mumbling "9 times 9 equals 81, 9 times 10 equals 90…"

CHAPTER 24

Christian had cleaned up after breakfast and was now seated in the club chair, continuing his read of What to expect when you're expecting. Every once in a while, he'd whistle at something he'd read that surprised him. Ana, on the couch, tried to concentrate on her novel but wound up reading the same page over and over. She was completely distracted by Christian's presence. She decided that he had to go.

"Christian, again, why are you here? Surely Escala is much more comfortable for you."

"Nope."

Well, that didn't leave much of an opening, did it? Ana frowned.

"It's usually quiet around here but the last couple of days have been filled with drama. Clinic visits, Elena visits. Now that it's quieted down, you needn't stay."

"I'm not leaving you while you have an injury. With that concussion and that ankle, you need watching. What do you want for lunch?" Christian smiled at her and she felt a bit woozy.

"It's too early for lunch and I'm not hungry anyway."

"I'm planning. Besides, you have to eat lunch. You haven't put on enough weight."

"Did Dr. Greene call you? She can't do that. Patient/doctor privilege." Ana was peeved.

"I know you, Ana. You're too light in my arms and I'm sure that you've been eating too little. Apparently, Dr. Greene told you that, too. You're supposed to be eating for two, you know."

Ana narrowed her eyes at her husband as Christian pretended not to notice her displeasure. All right, she considered, if my injuries are his excuse for staying uninvited, then surely he'll be gone in a day or two. All I have to do is just hold out. No giving in to those sultry gray eyes. If he looks at me in that way he looks at me, then I'll just put my nose back in my book.

Two days tops. I can do it. I just have to remember all he's done to wound me. Untrustworthy cad. That's it. Just keep cool, Ana. Do. Not. Swoon. Like a silly schoolgirl.

Just as she looked up, she caught Christian looking back. His bright gray eyes had darkened. Oh, damn, Ana thought. She put her nose back in her book. She had to make a plan…what to do if he touched her. Jump like she'd been bitten by a spider…yes, that should disrupt the moment.

Weeks of being frozen out. Softening up with a night of love. Deciding for her what will happen to her body and her son. Months of no contact, no concern and now he just shows up. He's read a few books and he's ready to be "daddy" and run her life again. Nope, uh uh, alas, alack, NO! Not happening. She'd been getting along just fine without him and enjoying her life at the beach. She would not allow him to barge in and take control.

She could make her own damn lunch!

"I bought some lobster. I thought that I'd make a salad or, if you like, I could make sandwiches instead. There's also some red grapes and that cheese you like…muenster? Ana? Thoughts?"

"You needn't bother. I can make my own lunch. Been doing so for some time," she replied dismissively and without bothering to look at him.

"I know you can but I'd rather you weren't trying to balance on one crutch. You could slip and fall. You don't need a third injury," Christian smiled sweetly at her.

Oh, you conniving beast! You know exactly what you're doing. I will not be swayed. Of course, you're right that I could fall. You'd probably like that. Have me keep breaking things and you could just move in.

"Ana, you've got that little v forming between your brows. Are you upset with me about something?" Christian asked softly. That little v always got to him…like so many things about Ana got to him. He was a sucker for everything about this woman.

How should she respond to him? she wondered. He was using his wide-eyed little boy look on her. That's how he got her to agree to move in with him in the first place…the first time she should have said no. Instead, she'd just melted inside. And she was doing it again.

"I'm just used to being independent now, Christian. I don't want to get accustomed to being taken care of again."

"I like taking care of you, Ana," Christian said shyly. "Course, I don't know that I did a very good job of it, did I?" he said sadly.

That wasn't true, Ana thought. Yes, he hurt her many times but there were mostly good times and she always felt safe and loved. Even when he was behaving like an ass, she knew that basically she was cared for and cherished.

"That isn't true, Christian. You were quite wonderful most of the time right up until…well, you weren't." Ana let herself gaze at her incredibly good-looking man. She felt too warm. Probably the wood stove.

"That last night? I look back and I can't believe that I thought it was okay to arrange an abortion for you. Jesus, how stunningly stupid I was…and cruel! I don't know why you didn't smash the bedside lamp on my head before you left. When I found that you were gone that morning, I was baffled. I honestly couldn't understand you. It took me some time before I realized that you wanted the baby and telling you to abort it was…was horrific. You were gone and I couldn't get you back without a baby that I was certain I couldn't father decently. I could try but soon you'd see how bad I was and hate me.

"I just started drinking. Spent all my time with Jim Beam." Christian's head hung low as he shook it back and forth in dismay.

"Have you stopped drinking, Christian?" Ana asked.

"Yes, a while ago. Right after Elena visited you and then reported back to me that she'd done her best to get you to come back and do right by me. The thought of you all alone with that hag scared me. She could have hurt you. I tore into her for harassing you and for thinking that I'd be pleased with her and angry with you. I ordered her out and said that she should never return.

"Then I called Dr. Flynn."

"Counseling with Dr. Flynn helped a little before but you didn't really change, Christian. What did you expect from him this time? Did you want him to intercede with me on your behalf?"

Christian chortled. "He thinks I'm a bigger dope than you do, Ana. No, I asked him if there was something he could do that would make me a good father. He suggested hypnosis but first he gave me a stack of books to read. I left feeling hopeless but when I got home, I didn't pick up a drink. I picked up a book and just kept reading non-stop. It helped to know that a lot of men feel like me…scared to death of losing their wives' attention, of resenting their own child, of being terrible fathers.

"I won't lie, Ana. While I learned a lot from those books, I'm still me. I'm scared of all the same things. And my biggest fear is that I won't measure up to your standards of good fatherhood. I won't be Ray Steele. And then you'll hate me…maybe leave me for good."

"Christian, you've always worked hard to get what you want. I didn't want to be gotten but you won me over."

"I wore you down, Ana," Christian laughed. "I don't feel like I've ever completely won you."

"I was scared, too, Christian. Scared of trusting someone. Scared of needing someone. What would I do, I thought, if this man lets me down. It would destroy me."

"And I did." Christian leaned over with his head in his hands, despairing.

"But I learned that I'm stronger than I thought. I can make it without you now. If…and it's a big if…I returned to you, I wouldn't tolerate any more attempts to conquer me, to make me toe the line. Problems would have to be talked out and compromises made by you as well as me. Right now, I don't know if you're capable of doing that.

"Tossing Elena out of your life is a good start but how do I know that you won't allow her to wiggle her way back in? She has to be gone, completely gone, no matter what. I don't want that woman within a mile of my son. That means that you have to tell your family about the damage she did to you. She'll have to be gone from their lives, too, if they want to be in Theo's life."

"Theo?" Christian perked up. "You want to name him Theodore Grey?"

"Theodore Raymond Trevelyan-Grey. I know how much you loved and admired your grandfather."

Christian's face broke into a great, beaming smile. He jumped from his chair and knelt before Ana. He leaned over and kissed her burgeoning belly. Then he sat on the couch and kissed Ana tenderly.

"Thank you, Ana. You are amazing. You knock me out."

Not willing to be wooed by his reaction to the name, Ana simply smiled and said thank you. Then she demanded lunch. Christian leapt to his feet and headed for the kitchen. He so enjoyed feeding his wife.

When he finished, he looked over to Ana. She was still sitting on the couch but her head was hanging down. He went to her quietly and found that she was, indeed, sleeping. He'd read about that in her book. After seven months of growing a baby, women were tired. A lot. He carefully removed her book from her lap. He eased her body down unto the couch and covered her with her afghan. Then he sat on the floor and just stared at her. How could she not know that she was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen?

CHAPTER 25

That night and the next, Christian sat up reading after Ana turned in but she always called out his name in her sleep. He'd find her restless and even once her face wet with tears. He didn't want her to think that he was taking advantage so he'd hold her until she quieted and then slip out of the bed. Within an hour, he'd hear her tossing again and mumbling. So, he'd again slip into bed with her and hold her until both fell asleep.

The second night he woke, feeling something wasn't right. Ana was gone. He heard her stumbling around in the bathroom and had to keep himself from going in to make sure that she wasn't falling. Then he laid there, expecting her to kick him out of bed upon her return. But she didn't. She just climbed back into bed and backed up into him. After a while he'd once again wrapped his arm around her. She wants me here, he told himself. Either that or she's too kind to kick him out. Yes, that was more likely.

In the morning, he got up before her and started breakfast. He wondered if he should say something about the past two nights. Perhaps he should ask her if she wanted him to sleep with her. Then, again, he wanted to keep doing it and if not confronting her could get him another night with her, he was inclined to say nothing. If it really bothered her, she'd tell him…or so he told himself. He was feeling lucky. Somehow a grocery run had gotten him two nights with his wife.

As he was flipping the eggs, Ana came into the kitchen and sat down at the table. She looked at him but said nothing for a minute. He didn't know that Ana herself was wondering if she should continue to let him sleep with her. She knew that she slept so much better with him than without but she had no intention of making love…even if she'd felt like it…and she didn't.

Well, actually, that wasn't quite true. Watching him in that white shirt made her want to clear the table and flip him onto it. The heck with the eggs.

"How is your head feeling today?" Christian asked.

"Sore but not bad. Same for the ankle. I had to get up last night because Theo was first restless and then decided to sleep on my bladder again."

Christian chuckled. "Sounds like he's going to be a handful."

"Yes, that's what Dr. Greene said. 'Very active baby' were her words," Ana warned. She hesitated a moment and then continued. "He'll require a lot of attention and patience." She watched Christian carefully for a reaction. He said nothing except "toast"?

Ana nodded, disappointed. She sat silently eating her eggs and toast or at least some of it. One egg and a half a slice of bread. Christian noted that she didn't drink her juice. He set two Tylenol down on a small plate next to her.

"The doctor said that you should treat your pain. Remember?" he encouraged.

Ana sighed in defeat and took the pills with her juice. "Did the paper come?" she asked.

Christian opened the back door and checked the porch.

"He usually leaves it in the mailbox so that I don't have to bend over," Ana called out.

Christian opened the country box and there it was. He smiled. It was kind of the carrier to be mindful of Ana's condition. He'd have to leave a thank you note and a tip along with the birth announcement. He hoped that he'd be still be living with Ana then.

"I'm surprised that you get the Seattle Times and the Nooz. I didn't picture you being one for a tabloid," Christian said as he placed the papers before Ana. She snickered, shaking her head.

"I ordered the subscription for the Times. The Nooz just began showing up one day. I called them to say that it was a mistake and they said that my aunt had called and requested it for me. I'm guessing they meant my Aunt Elena."

"What?! Why would she do that?" Christian growled.

"I suppose she thought that you would turn up on the cover on occasion and seeing you would bother me. I think that she expected to be seen with you in public now that I was gone. She probably thought that it would rile me."

Christian considered this for a moment. "Would it, Ana? Would it bother you to see me in the Nooz with another woman?" He held his breath. Please say yes. Please. If she said she wouldn't have cared, it might break him right there in her kitchen.

Ana didn't hesitate. "Damn straight it would bother me."

"Really?" Christian asked. "It didn't last time."

"Of course, it hurt me. I'm human, you know. I was your wife and you intentionally humiliated me. Even though I knew that you were only trying to trick me, it hurt." Ana took a ragged breath and in a small voice said, "It was a knife to my heart."

Christian gulped. Hearing her say this was a knife to his heart. He quickly dropped his head to disguise his tears. "But you would have believed that it was a trick, then? You wouldn't have believed that I'd really moved on?"

"No, I know that you love me," Ana smiled shyly at Christian. "You may be an idiot sometimes but you're not shallow. You won't get over me easily."

"I won't get over you...period, Ana. Never. You're the only one and always will be." He was looking at her so earnestly that it almost took her breath away. She had to drop her eyes.

"Well, let's see what's happening in the Nooz, shall we?" she grinned. Christian would have liked to continue their conversation as it was but he didn't want to push her. He couldn't quite stop himself from leaning over to kiss her head, however, before he got up to do the dishes.

"Whoa," Ana gasped. "Christian, you'd better look at this."

CHAPTER 26

"YES! Now! Throw the book at her. I don't know! Find something. Anything. Get back to me as soon as you have something. Okay, dad, I'll try to calm down. I know, I know. Goodbye."

Christian threw the phone down on the chair and began pacing, tearing at his hair. Ana shook her head.

"Please stop tearing out your hair, Christian. Come here. Sit down next to me."

That was an invitation that Christian couldn't refuse. Still, he was beyond apoplectic. Ana began rubbing soothing circles on his back and encouraging him to take slow, deep breaths. She hadn't seen him this enraged since she'd revealed her pregnancy to him.

Seeing that he was having a lot of trouble cooling his anger, she pointed out to him that at least they were mad together…at someone else. She smiled at him and he tried to see the humor but he failed.

"I'll kill her. As soon as I'm calm enough to drive, I'll go into town and kill her," he roared.

"While you'd be doing humanity a great service, I'm afraid that you'd be ruining more than her life," Ana gently pointed out. "Why don't we just send her an order of a hundred pizzas. That'll show her."

At that, Christian laughed. "I've always wanted to do that to someone," he chuckled grimly.

"Let's! Come on…let's do it!" Ana giggled. Christian looked at her and was once again unable to stop himself. He quickly took her face in his hands and kissed her soundly. She didn't look that surprised and certainly not chagrined. However, Christian figured that he shouldn't press his luck. He stopped holding her face and put his hands back into his hair. Ana gently pulled them right back out.

"I wonder if Theo will have hair when he's born?" said Ana. "I can't decide if I'd prefer a bald baby or one with lots of hair." Christian just stared at her with love in his eyes. Bright Grey love.

"I can't let her get away with this, Ana. I want her out of our lives completely. I don't want the Nooz to think that it can turn to Elena Lincoln every time it needs a front page that'll sell."

"One good thing. I don't think that you'll have any difficulty getting your family to disown her after this. Elena must have arranged this soon after she left here…when she was so angry that she wasn't thinking straight. I'm sure that Grace will be disgusted with her. Elena will probably try to worm her way back in but Grace is all about family and giving interviews about her children's private lives will surely incense her. And without Grace's social approval of her and patronage of her business…well, there goes her livelihood."

"You're right," agreed Christian, his face brightening. "Oh, this will be fun to watch." Then his face darkened again.

"Ana, she has evidence of my BDSM days," he grimaced as he looked at his wife.

"Oh so what? Her 'evidence' implicates her as well. Not to mention the small matter of pedophilia. She might embarrass you but she'll also find herself being of interest to the SPD."

Christian looked at Ana quite seriously. "Honey, how would you take being advertised as the wife of a pervert?"

"Hmmm…well, I would bat my eyes and tell a reporter than a bit of kink is quite fun but…and here I would look sad and dismayed…it, of course, is for adults and shouldn't be forced upon children."

At this, she batted her eyes at Christian and giggled. He laughed and hugged her. "You never even let me tie you up."

"I don't like being restrained. I like to participate," she giggled again.

"And you're an exceptional participant, I must say," he laughed. Oh, this woman! he thought. There's no one like her.

Later in the morning, they heard a car pull up and then a clamor on the porch.

"Oh, I think it's the Grey girls," she said. She was right. Grace, Kate and Mia all piled into Ana's tiny cottage…all talking at once.

"Oh, Ana, you poor dear," someone said. "How are you taking this awful article in the Nooz?"

"Ah, hello," spoke Christian above the noise. "The article was mainly about me?"

"Of course, dear," soothed Grace, "but we figured that you'd just blow it off. Ana is sensitive."

"Oh, Grace," smirked Ana, "you've got that backwards. Were you not there when Carrick was taking Christian's call?"

"Yeah, we were," said all three, "but we figured that Christian was pissed on your account, not his." They all turned to look at Christian for confirmation.

"I'm pretty pissed in general, ladies." Christian shrugged in Ana's direction and then said, "Of course, that includes my wife. Mother, I hoped this has opened your eyes to the kind of person Elena Lincoln really is."

Everyone looked at Grace who suddenly looked sad. "I thought she was my friend."

Kate put an arm around her mother-in-law. "We've tried to tell you for some time but you are a loyal person, Grace. You just couldn't believe that Mrs. Lincoln was using you."

"We're sorry for you, Mom," said Mia. "I know how you feel. It took me a long time to realize that Lily is not my friend, either. You should have heard her recently. Crowing about Ana's and Christian's separation and how it was meant to be and how now he'd see that he should be looking in his own social crowd for a suitable wife….like Lily. This after I poured my heart out to her about how sad I was."

"You've ended your friendship with Lily, Mia?" asked Ana. "Goody. You are way too nice for that phony."

Ana had more reason that Mia's disappointment to abhor Lily. She had never gotten over the first time they met…at the Grey's charity gala not long after she'd moved in with Christian. Ana had just had a nasty encounter with Mrs. Lincoln in the restroom when Lily and her gang cornered Ana in the house before she could get back to the party tent.

"What do you think that you're doing in the Grey's house?" sneered a girl Ana didn't know. She was wearing a rather sexy dress…one with a plunging décolletage, no back and a hem length that could generously be called mini. The rest of her, makeup and hairdo, was rather too much as well. Her friends also resembled 'working girls'.

"Peeing," Ana answered bluntly. Except for Lily, the girls jaws all dropped at once.

"Nice mouth you've got there," Lily snarled.

"What do you call voiding of urine?" Ana asked sweetly.

"Going to the restroom, skank."

"Or you could say, visiting the ladies lounge," suggested another girl innocently.

"Well, I'll keep both those suggestions in mind for the next time I overload my bladder. Thank you, ladies. The, uh…lounge is all yours." At this, Ana turned to go when Lily grabbed her arm and whirled her around to face the group again.

"You're not really welcome here, you know. This isn't your kind of place. Maybe there's a roadhouse somewhere with a hot country band. I'm sure that you'd enjoy that sort of establishment more than an elegant soirée given by one of Seattle's finest families and attended by all the rest of polite society. In a place like this you can't wear that cheap Walmart gown."

Before Ana could make a sharp retort, she was grabbed and whirled around again…this time into Christian's arms. He kissed her passionately until they were both out of breath. Then, as if he hadn't even noticed the company she was surrounded by, he suggested that they leave early.

"I've shared you with all the hoi-polloi for long enough. You've charmed everyone and left all the men dazzled and I don't think it's the haute couture you're wearing. I want more time with you before you get tired of living with me," he smiled at her. Ana turned back to the girls, all of them agog, and sweetly bid them good evening. Then she walked away with Christian's arm around her waist. Mia told her later than Lily was enraged for days. "She's living with him!?"

After that, at any event they attended, Ana would see Lily sulking on a couch somewhere. Ana didn't like the girl, of course, but she thought it a shame that Lily wasted so much time fretting about something she could do nothing about. Silly girl.

Ana's attention was called back to the Nooz and Mrs. Lincoln's assessment of the Grey's relationship.

"Get this part," said Kate.

"Of course, I've been a dear friend of the Grey family for decades. To the children

I'm known as Auntie Elena and I've always had a special place in my heart for

Christian. He had such a terrible start in life. He's worked so hard to make a

better life for himself and I hate to see him abused by someone who doesn't know

how much love he deserves."

"Auntie Elena! Never have we referred to Mrs. Lincoln as aunt anything. Remember all the times she just happened to arrive at dinner time? "Oh, my," Mia mimicked Elena, "I'm interrupting. I didn't know that you ate so early."

"To think that I thought that she just had a poor memory," said Grace, shaking her head. "She always dropped in at the same time and, of course, we had to set a place for her. I could see that it infuriated Carrick but I felt sorry for her. I guess that she counted on that."

"Here's my favorite part," offered Mia.

"Christian and I had been so close through all the years and then, because he

needed to keep his jealous wife calm, he had to end our friendship. I could see how

deeply this hurt him but I respected his marriage and his attempts, obviously

futile, to honor his vows despite being aggravated beyond reason."

Ana could see that Christian was once again getting agitated. He was pacing and pulling at his hair.

"You know, this is the first time I've had all of you here together. Let's not waste our time on Elena Lincoln. I'd rather sit around the kitchen table and listen to all of you talk about your lives. We have some Gail cookies and I'll make some tea."

"I'll get the tea, Ana. You and your ankle sit down," insisted Christian. "Mom, could you take a look at Ana's head and ankle while you're here. I was going to take her into the clinic today anyway."

Ana hobbled into the kitchen and sat down. Grace, Kate and Mia gaped at Christian as he put the kettle on. This was their first sighting of Christian the homemaker and they were stupefied by this development. Grace smiled proudly as Kate and Mia stared. Christian noticed.

"What? You didn't think that I could boil water?" he smirked.

"Well, only that you never have…in my experience," Mia smirked right back.

Ana once again derailed the current subject and turned it into an inquiry into Kate's job and Mia's relationship with Ethan Kavanaugh and Grace's life at the hospital. Soon, the table was filled with conversation and laughter, everyone enjoying each other's company. The women didn't notice Christian's disappearance…except for Ana who worried but didn't want to draw attention again to unpleasant things.

"Would you all excuse me for a minute? The baby is sitting on my bladder," She laughed. Everyone went back to listening to Mia mooning on about Ethan Kavanaugh while his sister told unflattering and funny stories about him.

Ana found Christian standing in the middle of Theo's nursery. "I've been a fool," he said. Ana simply slipped her arm through his and leaned her head against him.

CHAPTER 27

Elena checked herself in the mirror. Yellow hair, some of it hers, piled high on her head. Blue eye shadow and black eyeliner. False eyelashes and heavy mascara. Thick foundation failing to disguise her wrinkles and thick red lipstick unwittingly emphasizing the lines around her mouth earned after sucking on cigarettes for decades. Tight black suit, too short for her age. Elena smiled at herself. One thing she was really good at, she thought, was putting herself together. She was particularly pleased with her legs and the way they looked in 6 inch stilettoes. She'd tried, over the years, to inspire Grace Grey to update her look but the woman insisted on clinging to old notions of matronly elegance. Well, that was all right, Elena thought. She was the hot blonde everyone stared at when they walked in the door of the Mile High Club for their Tuesday lunches.

That lunch was Elena's destination for the day. She looked forward to pumping Grace for information about Christian's marriage. She chuckled to herself as she pictured that little twit of a wife reading the interview that Elena had given to the Nooz. Ana would be so beside herself with jealousy that she'd kick Christian to the curb for sure. Elena would be there to comfort Grace and to await Christian's call. After all, he had no other friends to turn to…Elena had made certain of that over the years. And this time he'd accept her counsel that he ought to return to BDSM. She had a couple of young women in mind…women who would report back to her.

When the doorbell rang, it irritated Elena. It was probably her latest sub, Isaac. He knew better than to come to the front door. She flung it open, prepared to humiliate him for his mistake. She was startled to find, instead, Carrick Grey. She didn't like Carrick and it was clear that he didn't like her. This did not bode well.

"Carrick! What a delightful surprise! I was just leaving to meet Grace for lunch. Surely she's well?" Elena feigned concern.

"May I come in, Mrs. Lincoln? We need to talk," Carrick said solemnly.

"Well, I don't want to be late for my date with Grace," Elena frowned.

"Grace won't be meeting you today, Mrs. Lincoln, nor any day in the future."

Carrick entered, brushing past Elena, and took a seat unbidden in her living room. He'd never been before and was amused by Elena's taste in furnishing…fake antique French and way over the top. Much like Elena herself. He tried to make himself comfortable on an ugly settee.

Elena was nonplussed at his boldness but she attempted to disguise it. She settled herself into her favorite chair…one that she imagined made her look regal. She adopted a look of unperturbed firmness. She would not allow Carrick Grey to lord his position over her.

"Is Grace ill, Carrick?"

"In a way. Our housekeeper, Margaret, brought a copy of yesterday's Seattle Nooz to work this morning. We saw that you had given that rag an interview about our family and our son's marriage, in particular. I can only assume that you were inebriated when you spoke with the Nooz reporter."

Elena tried to laugh it off. "Well, I'll admit that it was impetuous of me but no, I was not drunk. I thought that it was quite a nice piece on your family."

"Nice? Your version of 'nice' is pretty nasty, Mrs. Lincoln. Grace and our entire family were dismayed and deeply insulted. You criticized our son's marriage and his lovely wife."

"Lovely!? Surely you jest, Carrick! That girl has driven your son to drink. She has abandoned him. She has forced upon him a child that he doesn't want. Have you not seen the terrible condition he's in because of her?"

"I won't defend Ana to the likes of you, Mrs. Lincoln, except to say that Christian's relationship with her is none of your business."

"Well, you're wrong about that. I have been Christian's friend for a long time and he has sought out my advice often. I tried to warn him about Ms. Steele but she has truly pulled the wool over his eyes. Now, look at the result."

"Again, I will not discuss my son's marriage with you. I've come by only to warn you to keep your opinions to yourself regarding my family in any way. Grace is done with you and the rest of us hope to never see you again. Any attempts to contact any member of my family will result in a very public restraining order. If you simply keep to yourself, your disgrace will remain between us. I hope that I've made myself clear."

"I will discuss this matter with my dear friend of 20 years," asserted Elena, gritting her teeth.

"Grace has changed her number as has Christian. Neither wishes any contact of any kind with you. Exercise extreme discretion in future or you will face the consequences."

With that, Carrick withdrew a copy of that morning's Nooz and threw it down unto the table in front of Elena. Then he slammed the door as he took his leave. Elena sat in shock. After a moment, she picked up the Nooz.

Yesterday's edition of the Nooz carried an interview

with Mrs. Elena Lincoln of the Elite Lincoln Salons.

It has come to our attention that the article contained

many discrepancies and inaccuracies concerning both

Mrs. Lincoln's relationship with the prominent philanthropic

Grey family and the marriage of Christian Grey.

To wit: Mrs. Lincoln greatly exaggerated her closeness to

the Grey family. They are merely neighbors. Also, Christian

is a devoted family man who is looking forward to the birth

of his first child.

The editorial board greatly regrets it's faulty reporting and

extends its sincerest apologies to the Grey family as a whole

and Christian and Ana Grey in particular. Our congratulations

to the new parents.

Elena's enraged screech rang through the house. How dare they embarrass her like this…she herself a respected member of elite society in Seattle! She would not admit to herself that any acceptance of her had been due only to Grace's influence.

She grabbed her phone and quickly dialed her salon.

"Greta, cancel all of Grace Grey's future appointments. What? When?" Elena rang off. Grace had already cancelled her usual dates as had Mia and Kate. Their patronage of her salon was a big draw for other ladies in society. Elena somehow knew that she needn't inquire about other cancellations. Well, fine. Let's see them find another salon that provided such superior service.

Elena rose from her chair and began to roam around her home. They wouldn't beat her. She'd crawled up from the dirt to a position of some importance and those snoots would not take her down again. She dialed the Nooz and asked for the reporter who had interviewed her originally.

He was unavailable.

Elena demanded to speak with the Editor-in-Chief. He, too, was and would be unavailable.

Elena tore through her house in a frenzy, smashing vases and statues and dishes.

No! She swore. They would not ruin her life. She would ruin theirs.

CHAPTER 28

Ana had spent much of the day rereading her books on pregnancy. Her third trimester was proving to be difficult. She was constantly fatigued and often nauseous. Theo never seemed to sleep, bouncing around inside of her all day. She suffered from backaches and heartburn. She tried so hard to not be irritable.

Christian's leave-taking was never mentioned again. He'd been living with Ana for weeks and they slept together every night…the only reason that Ana got any sleep at all. His warmth, his closeness…they lulled her and Theo to sleep. During the day, he waited on her…cooking, cleaning. He would help her climb the steps up unto the road and then she'd lean on him as they took a walk. Without him, Ana would have had to stay inside the cottage.

One day he drove the two of them into the city to a furniture store to buy a reclining rocker for the nursery. It was a fun day…one that Ana had never anticipated having with her husband. At Escala, Christian had never shown any interest in sharing all the little homemaking details with Ana. He'd tell her to just take her black Amex card and shop to her heart's content. His generosity began and ended with his checkbook. He rarely had time for her. Now he was interested in everything.

And the couple were of great interest to the general public. Surrounded by paparazzi everywhere they went, Ana would approach the most aggressive of the group and promise to pose for pictures if they would allow she and Christian to shop in peace. Otherwise, she pointed out, they'd only get pictures of the duo ducking into cars. The paps agreed and the couple made good on their promise with poses for several minutes and answering a few mild questions about their purchase and impending parenthood. There were questions, of course, about the Elena interview which Ana deftly sidestepped with laughter and comments about some people's imaginations. Ana had always been good to the paps. If they stepped out of line, she'd frown at them and, being men, they'd immediately be bewitched. Christian even began to enjoy watching the way that Ana charmed the paparazzi.

They'd been contacted by magazines like People with regards to pictures of Theo and interviews. GEH publicists agreed to limited contact with remuneration going to charities. Ana and Christian were surprised that there would national interest in them. Carrick pointed out that both were immensely photographable and their love story, as much as they would reveal, had great appeal. Escala was surrounded every day. No one had the slightest suspicion that the great Christian Grey was now living in a tiny cottage on the beach.

Christian just wanted to be with Ana. He treasured every day now. No detail of her life was too small to care about. He swore to himself that if she wanted him after the baby was born, he'd always be there wherever she wanted to be. He'd sell Escala, build onto the cottage and they'd go on living on the beach. It would be a long commute but perhaps he could work more from home while Ros ran the office. She'd been kidding him about wanting his office for years now anyway.

One day Ros called him about a deal she was putting together to acquire a startup tech firm in New York. Her voice was filled with such excitement. She loved the beginnings of deals and all the strategizing necessary to make a deal work. She and Christian used to stay up all hours, whipping ideas back and forth, trying to outdo each other. She missed their camaraderie. All that had changed when Ana became pregnant.

He'd become distant and distracted quite suddenly…walking in the door ready to tear heads off. Ros had given him a couple of days to cool off but soon tired of his attitude. It was when she confronted him that he confessed that Ana was going to have a baby. Ros immediately realized that congratulations were not in order. Christian was riled and frantic. She allowed him a tirade or two but when Ana left him two weeks later, that was when all hell really broke loose. He started coming to the office late, drunk and unable to concentrate. When he didn't show up at all and Taylor called with obvious excuses, Ros called time and put her emergency plan into action. Said emergency plan consisted of her running the company.

Since he'd moved to the beach, however, he'd been showing some interest again in his company. Ros put it down to Ana's calming effect. He didn't want to leave Ana alone for long, however, so this new deal in New York was problematic. Ros explained to him that it really required his physical presence. The sellers were skittish but willing to listen to the Christian Grey. Without his face to face input, they were not convinced of GEH's determination to follow through on the business plan.

Ana tried to appear nonchalant about Christian flying away for several days but she was feeling vulnerable so close to Theo's birth. She'd been so sure that she could go it all alone but now she'd become accustomed to Christian's presence…the very thing she'd been afraid could happen. He didn't want to go and he'd argued about it with Ros but it was Ana who finally convinced him that she'd be fine.

The morning he left, he held onto her for a long time.

"I won't sleep."

"Neither will I…much. Probably nap during the day. Promise you'll try anyway. You have to be charming and persuasive so you can buy that tech and get home faster."

"Home? I'm home here?"

"Seems like it." Ana shrugged and Christian grinned with delight.

Now it was late in the evening. Tom Ryan had come by earlier to check on Ana but now she was alone again. It was her first night alone in weeks. She told herself that she could handle it just as she'd handled it before Christian came crashing back into her life. So, she read, fixed her own meals and washed her own dishes. She even did a load of laundry and swept the floor. See, she told herself, I'm just fine on my own.

And she was until she went to bed. She tried to get into a comfortable position but finally settled on her back. She was close to drifting off when something startled her. She sat up on her elbows and listened carefully. She heard nothing more and decided that she'd imagined it. She gazed out the window at the moonlight when suddenly something blocked the view. She held her breath. She heard the window lock jiggle a bit. She held back a scream as fear flooded through her. She rolled out of bed and crawled into the living room for her phone.

"Tom, Tom, someone is trying to get into the house! He was at my bedroom window. Oh, my god! Now he's trying to unlock the kitchen door!"

"Ana, can you get into the bathroom? Lock yourself in. We're on our way." Tom's calm voice was somewhat reassuring until Ana heard the hinges on the kitchen door creak. She crawled as fast as her baby belly would allow into the bath. She locked the door and climbed into the tub. She could hear the sound of scuffling, voices raised and a gunshot. Then it was quiet. As Ana huddled shivering in the tub, she heard a knock at the bathroom door.

"Ana, it's Tom Ryan. Are you okay? We got the guy. Ana?"

"I'm okay, Tom. I'm just having some trouble getting out of the tub. You may have to break in." Which he did. After helping Ana up and out of the tub, he settled her on the couch with a pillow and an afghan. Then he brought her some butter cookies and a pot of hot tea.

When he felt that she was no longer trembling, he told her that the intruder would say only that he saw an opportunity. He would admit to nothing else…like being hired.

"I don't buy the 'opportunity' angle, Ana," Tom admitted. Nor did Ana. "It was Elena, I'll bet. Was he supposed to hurt me, kill me? I don't believe that he saw this humble cottage and thought that it was crammed with expensive goodies. I don't even have a TV."

"Mr. Grey is going to have a fit."

"Oh, no, he isn't. You can't tell him about this, Tom. He's way across the country. He'll go crazy. I know my husband. Please, not a word until he returns." Tom looked dubious but agreed on the condition that he stay with Ana every night until Christian came home.

"You won't be comfortable, Tom."

"Well, I don't intend to sleep, Ana. I'll be awake all night…on guard. Now, go back to bed and sleep. The guys next door are making arrangements for cameras on the perimeter and one of us will always be here with you until Mr. Grey returns. I don't want him to find you exhausted and bleary eyed from lack of rest."

Ana dragged herself back to her bed after closing the curtains in her bedroom. She'd miss the morning sun but at least no one could look in on her as she slept. She lay on her side and pretended that Christian was holding her, protecting her.

CHAPTER 29

"It may not look like much to you, a multibillionaire, but it's our baby and we're reluctant to let it go."

"I do know how you feel, Mr. Carter," said Christian. "When I bought my first companies, big outfits came to me and wanted to buy me out. They offered a lot of money but I turned it down. Believe me, there were times when I thought that I was a fool to do so. However, what Ms. Bailey and I are offering is not a full buyout. No, we want your product but we also want you. You and your partner, Ed Kramer, are the brains behind this valuable technology and we don't want to lose you either. What GEH is offering is a merger of sorts. We need this tech to move our company forward and we need good people like you to keep the tech coming. You sell to us. We provide the cash to develop the tech and you and your partner come to work with us to develop more tech. We pay you salaries and, while the tech belongs to GEH, you receive a part of the profits."

"Or," Ros pointed out, "you try to find other investors to help you build. Those investors will, of course, be co-owners of your product and will be expecting a return on their investments. Trying to move forward with your current product will be stymied by your need to build a market and will leave you no energy or money to develop new product."

"Well, we've gone over and over your proposal and can't find a flaw in it…which makes us nervous because there is always a sticking point," said Mr. Carter.

"Perhaps you'd rather not move to Seattle?" suggested Christian.

"Actually, both of us kind of like that idea. New York is a great city but more expensive than Seattle and far more congested. Ed and I would like the night to talk it over again. Would you be willing to meet again tomorrow one final time?" inquired Mr. Carter.

Christian hesitated. He'd hoped to get back on the jet and be home by morning. Ros jumped in.

"Mr. Grey has to get back to Seattle. His wife is expecting any day and he's nervous as a cat. However, I would welcome the opportunity to spend a night in New York City and then we could meet for lunch tomorrow." Christian smiled at her gratefully.

Mr. Carter laughed. "You certainly hide your jitters better than I did, Mr. Grey. Yes, Ed and I would be happy to meet with you for lunch, Ms. Bailey. And, Mr. Grey, good luck to you and your wife."

Christian strode quickly but with dignity toward the exit. As soon as he was out of sight, he took off running, hollering for a taxi. He texted his pilot to ready the jet. He had to get home. He and Ana had been talking several times a day and texting and skyping but it just wasn't enough. He had to touch her, hold her.

It was going to be a long six hours but with a good tail wind, he could be in Seattle by midnight and the beach by 1 a.m.

Well, it wasn't a good tail wind…more like a bad head wind. At 2:15 a.m. Grey dragged himself out of the taxi and almost fell down the cottage steps. For days, he'd barely slept. Now, at last, he was home. As he crossed the porch, lights popped on everywhere, blinding him. He stumbled against the front door, setting off alarm bells and, thereafter, was tackled by several guys who piled on, pinning him to the porch floor.

"Don't make a move unless you want a few new holes in your body! Hands behind your head!" they yelled. They slapped the cuffs on him as soon as Grey complied. He thought maybe he'd just close his eyes and sleep right there on the deck boards. As soon as they flipped him over, there was a group gasp and a frenzied effort to lift him to his unsteady feet, uncuff him, brush off his suit and unlock the door. As soon as he wobbled across the threshold, he saw Ana standing in the middle of the living room, blue eyes big with surprise. Gosh, she was sooo pregnant. He'd only been gone a few days and she seemed about to give birth.

"Whoa, baby, are we having twins?" Then the lights went out.

Ana had the coverts carry her comatose, big-mouthed husband into bed. She removed his shoes and belt. He was deadweight but she managed to get his shirt and pants off as well. He was splayed out over the bed so she took a pillow and a blanket from the closet and settled onto the couch. Twins, indeed, she huffed to herself.

When Christian awoke in the morning, he would find himself alone and sore. Of course, he didn't remember being knocked to the floor and having a couple of huge guys sit on him. Where was Ana? He heard banging about in the kitchen. He struggled to his feet and dragged himself into the living room. Ana turned from the stove to see her husband in his stocking feet, t-shirt, boxers and severe bedhead along with a bruise on his forehead, staring at her in bewilderment.

"The twins and I were just making pancakes. Are you and your other head hungry?" she smirked.

"Huh?"

"Do you want breakfast? Do you think that you can keep anything down?"

Christian shuffled over to a chair and flopped down. "Why is my head killing me?"

"How much did you drink last night and how fast? You set off all the lights and the alarms and were seeing double."

"What? I didn't have anything to drink except a glass of wine with dinner with our new clients. I was dead on my feet when I arrived home and suddenly everything went haywire. I think I was mugged," he groaned.

"You told me that I was fat. The boys had to put you to bed. I slept on the couch. Not the homecoming I had envisioned," Ana whined.

"Huh? I'm really disoriented. I saw lights and heard bells and got knocked to the ground and it seems like forever since I've seen you and you seemed so much more pregnant. I just missed you so much and I missed out on days of Theo growing." Ana had a hard time understanding Christian because he'd laid his head down on his arms. He seemed to have fallen asleep again.

"Christian. Christian? Honey, wake up!" Ana sighed. She helped a groggy Grey to his feet and into the bedroom again. She flopped him down on the bed and then crawled in next to him. He immediately went into auto mode…lying behind her, wrapping his arm around her belly and snoring softly into her head. Later, he wouldn't even remember waking up.

CHAPTER 30

Elena's housekeeper arrived to find broken crockery and china and glass everywhere. Her mistress was passed out on that ugly settee, a pile of hair lying on the floor and Elena herself lying on her stomach, disheveled, with her arm hanging down, mascara running down her face along with the drool running out of her mouth.

The housekeeper was sorely tempted to turn around and leave but Mrs. Lincoln paid quite well. She had to…this woman was only the latest in a series of people who would eventually no longer work for Elena. She knew Mrs. Lincoln's reputation...and temper…and could only be persuaded to stay because of the salary. Many times she had wondered if it was worth it…dealing with Elena's tantrums, demands and general instability…but she was a single mother and so stuck it out. She looked around at the mess, sighed and started in. Perhaps she could get most of the work done before her client woke up.

She noticed the Seattle Nooz lying on the coffee table. Oh, dear, had she given another interview. The housekeeper read the retraction and had to stifle her guffaw. Served the old biddy right. She, herself, did not know the Greys but that cloying interview was obviously a nasty dig at the whole family. She threw the paper down and went back to sweeping up.

Meanwhile, Christian was waking up again. This time he felt rested and relaxed. Ana was in his arms. He could feel Theo moving a bit. Christian loved that and so he just lay there softly rubbing Ana's belly. He listened to Ana breathing and felt her fragrance wash over him. He marveled that someone could be so beautiful in every way. How did she manage to do that? As he contemplated, he drifted off again.

He woke….he didn't know how much later…but he could hear voices in the kitchen. He forced himself to leave his warm slice of heaven. It helped that Ana was up. After brushing his teeth and washing his face, he groggily wandered into the kitchen. Ana was just closing the kitchen door behind her visitor.

"Who were you talking to at this hour?" Christian asked.

Ana smiled. "It's after 10, Christian, and I was talking to Tom Ryan. He checks in on me frequently."

"Oh, yeah?" Christian's eye caught a detail on the door that was different. "That's a special reinforced lock. When did you do that?"

"A few days ago. After the latch was broken by the burglar, Tom decided that both doors should get an upgrade. I gather that this lock is much harder to kick in. I was sorry to see the old latch go. It was an antique but Tom said that old world charm wasn't as important as my safety. Couldn't argue with that. Besides, I can probably find a reproduction that works like this new lock but seems antique. I'll have to look online at Retro Rejuvenation."

As Ana talked and cooked, Christian's brain began to function. Burglar, kick in, reinforced lock.

"Someone broke into the house while I was gone?"

"Yes, he tried to get in the bedroom window first. I called Tom just as the guy came through the kitchen door. I hid in the bathroom while Tom and the rest of the team burst in and took the guy down. It was all over in minutes. A bit scary when I first saw him in the window but I knew Tom would get him."

Christian picked up his phone from the coffee table and returned to the bedroom. From what Ana could hear, she knew that he was quite upset. She'd tried to tell the story with a certain nonchalance but hadn't really expected that Christian would take it lightly. Sighing, she placed a plate of pancakes and scrambled eggs with toast on the table. As she was pouring coffee into Christian's cup, he returned red-faced and angry. She braced herself.

"That tears it, Ana", he growled. "You're coming back to Escala. You're not safe out here in the middle of nowhere. I can keep you safe at Escala. You don't have to pack. I'll have your things packed and delivered. As soon as you're dressed, we'll leave."

Ana turned back to the sink and filled it with hot water and the dirty pans. Leaving them to soak, she dried her hands on a towel and looked around at her kitchen with affection. Christian must have worked up an appetite. He was wolfing down all the pancakes and eggs. She started to tell him to slow down but instead sat down with him and her cup of tea to wait until he finished.

He washed his breakfast down with his coffee and smiled at her. "That was delicious, Ana. Really hit the spot." He stopped and looked at her. Why wasn't she getting dressed?

Ana wrapped her hands around her cup and smiled at Christian.

"Honey, I'm not going back to Escala. Ever. Yes, someone broke in. He was just looking for something to steal and thought the place was empty. My army next door was on him in seconds. I was in no danger. I wasn't even that scared." Well, that was a fib but…

"You're not safe here. Even with the guards next door, someone got in here. What if you hadn't woken up in time to call Ryan? You'll be safer at Escala."

"I was never safe at Escala. It was never home. It was a lovely prison. This cottage is home."

Christian reached for Ana's hand. He held it in both of his, caressing it.

"Ana, I know that looking back, your time at Escala was often unpleasant. My bad behavior. Elena's visits. My refusal to let you change the décor… but it could be different this time.

"Before I met you, I thought I had it all. I was master of all I surveyed. People fawned over me. But I moved through my world like a ghost. I couldn't really touch anything or anyone. No one could see me or feel me. The women in my BDSM life were faceless robots. Five minutes after they were out the door, I couldn't tell you what they looked like.

"The first time you walked into my penthouse, I could feel the warmth emanating from you and filling the rooms. It was the first time I realized that I'd been cold the whole time, that my home was cold. When you left, I would stand, staring at the elevator doors and feeling the chill all around me. I wanted you to move in and fill my home with that warmth again.

"And the coldest room in the house was the my playroom. I tried to recover the pleasure and joy I used to feel in that room but I soon realized that I'd only imagined it. I could never again face the faceless women.

"I'm sorry…so so sorry that it took me so long to understand how you were changing my life, making it real…and good. You know that I never touched those women I pretended to spend the night with at the Fairmont. Holding their hands for the cameras froze me to the bone. And, yes, you were right. I hurt them. Once we were in the suite, I'd leave them in the bedroom while I stayed in the study and worked.

"Well, I tried to work. I just wanted to go home to you but I was so stubborn. You wouldn't behave. You defied me constantly. I couldn't get it through my thick skull that everything had changed…that I had to change if I wanted to keep you….and, oh lord, did I want to keep you. I couldn't go back to living as a ghost in my cold hell."

Ana's heart ached…for both of them. She already knew everything he was telling her but she, too, had been living in a cold hell for so long. She couldn't take the chance of going back to that. And the very thought of living again at Escala….no. It was just no.

"Christian, I know you never physically cheated on me. Actually, that would have hurt less than the emotional cheating…knowing that you were deliberately setting out to hurt me. I can't bleed anymore, Christian. "

With her free hand, she rubbed her belly and tried to feel good and calming emotions. Christian was still holding her other hand, periodically kissing it. Ana would have melted into him but she knew she could not chance it.

"This is my home…my home…a real home. I am not leaving it. I don't want to hurt you. I'm just protecting myself and Theo. It is a powerful desire, Christian. More powerful than the hold you have over me. Perhaps it's time for you to go back to Escala."

Ana looked at him sadly and gently took back her hand. She picked up the dishes and put them in the sink.

"Leave them. I'll clean up."

Christian gazed at Ana longingly. He yearned for her, craved her.

"You're right. It is long past time that I go home. You are home. Where you go, I go. How you live, I live. Please give me one last chance. I know you've given me many but this time, I promise on my life, on the life of my child, that I will change. I have to be with you, however you'll have me."

He had a look on his face that always deeply affected Ana. It was the innocent, beseeching expression of a lost boy. She held all the power, she knew, but she didn't like it. It didn't suit Ana's personality to be in control of anyone. Her heart, it seemed, was programmed to give. She regarded Christian for a long moment.

He felt like a man kneeling with his head on a block, waiting to be beheaded. He had no power here and, he felt, probably no chance of reprieve.

"You can live here with me, if you like. I know that it is a long commute to GEH but you can work on your laptop while Taylor is driving. You can leave for GEH at 8 a.m. but you must be home by 6 a.m., exempting special circumstances. When you get home, you cease work. You spend time with me and our baby. Elena must be gone from your life.

"These are my terms. If you can't accept them, we're done." Ana looked at him with clear eyes and conviction. He felt as though he'd been rescued from the guillotine. He nodded solemnly and stood up, walking around the table and pulling Ana into his arms, holding her as close as possible.

"I am so in love with you, Ana. You have to know that. No matter how stupidly I behave sometimes. You are everything, you and now Theo. You only have to tell me what you want and it's yours. May I kiss you…you know, to seal the deal?" he grinned. She giggled and nodded.

They kissed deep and true, standing there at the kitchen sink, in their humble cottage. They kissed for a long time, both needing the connection.

CHAPTER 31

When Elena awoke, late in the day, her mouth felt dirty, as if she'd been vomiting. There was a jack hammer in her head and her vision was hazy. I have to quit drinking my nights away, she told herself. But she wasn't listening. She noticed, looking around, that although many of her expensive objet d'art were now pieces in the trash, her housekeeper had cleaned. Elena stumbled about for a bit, inspecting. It was her habit to look for the "missed a spots" so that she could leave an insulting note for the cleaner. She didn't want her to get lazy. She had no idea how hard that woman worked to restore the pristine look to 'Lincoln Manor' after one of Elena's binges. And lately, that had been every day.

Elena poured herself a straight bourbon, no ice, and knocked it back in one gulp. She tried to stop. She had matters that needed tending to so she couldn't spend the day on the couch again. She wasn't needed at the salon, however. There were too few customers. Hers was an expensive salon, meant to attract the elite of Seattle…and she always had…before the Grey women began getting their cosmetic needs taken care of elsewhere. Now no one was going to pay $300 for a trim. Most had followed Grace to another salon. Elena could, of course, lower her prices to allow for middle income people but she was determined to be a respected, high-society professional. She would not trim the locks of some secretary.

Much of her staff had also left. The worst of the losses was that of Franco…flamboyantly gay, chatty and brilliant at his work. Now, when people did call for appointments and were told that Franco no longer worked at Elite, they'd say "never mind". Franco had opened a salon of his own with the financial backing of the Greys.

Elena knew that the revenue from her salons would not allow her to keep all three open but she hoped to retain at least The Elite Salon, her flagship. She had used Christian's checkbook to operate The Elite all these years while she wired the salon profits to her Cayman Islands account. She was, in fact, quite a wealthy woman and if she sold her home, she could have retired to Europe as she'd always planned. Unfortunately, that retirement, to her, meant living in a villa on the Rivera with Christian…and his billions.

Hah! There was a smudge on her refrigerator door and a bit of food clinging to the ceiling of her microwave. She sat down at her island and wrote a nasty note to the cleaning lady. She was too foolish to realize that one day she'd push the woman too far and she would once again be on the hunt for someone willing to put up with her and there would be no one…no matter the salary.

She grabbed her bottle of bourbon and flopped back down onto the settee. Think, Elena, she told herself. You need to determine a way to punish all those who have wronged you.. She felt confident that she could do so and get away with it as well. She always had before.

Her first act of vengeance was on her first enemy. She'd grown up in a poverty stricken home with a drunk for a father and an indifferent mother who used her pretty little daughter to protect her from her husband. Night after night the little girl would sit at the top of the stairs, keeping watch. She would listen to her parents argue and worry for her mother. Her brother slept through it all. She didn't know how he could do that. Often, when Elena thought her mother was in danger, she would intervene. Her father would be very angry and would call her down to the kitchen where he would lecture her on not interfering with a husband and his wife. Elena was frightened but she never stopped sitting at the top of the stairs.

One day she decided to end all the misery brought to the household by her father and his beer. She knew how he hated it when someone messed with his garbage cans so she snuck out the back door and went down to the street. She banged the lids together and overturned the cans and then she hid by the side of the house and waited. It wasn't long before her father, very drunk on a couple dozen beers, came roaring out of the house, yelling at the unseen villain. He could hardly stand but he started down the steep concrete steps to the pavement below to right his garbage cans. As she'd hoped, he fell.

From her hiding place, she could see him lying in a bloody pool on the sidewalk. When her mother came out and began screaming her husband's name, Elena went in the back door and waited. Waited for the police and the ambulance. Waited for her mother's tears and shock as the paramedics told her that her husband, Elena's father, had cracked his skull and bled to death next to his garbage cans. Now, she'd thought, we will have peace and mother will be safe.

For two whole weeks, Elena would skip home from school. There was no fear now, no danger waiting for her behind the door to her house. That is, until the day she came home to find a professional looking lady sitting in their shabby living room with her tearful mother.

"I'm just a housewife, Elena. Your father made the money to pay all the bills. Now I'll have to get a job. No one will be here when you come home from school and no one will be here to take care of your brother. So, this nice lady has found places for you both to live. I'll still see you as often as I can. I'll have to get a room downtown. There'll only be enough space for me."

It was the beginning of a new kind of hell for Elena. Being only eight years-old, she hadn't known that there would be consequences for her cleverness. Yes, she gotten rid of her father but now she was also losing her mother. It was the beginning of years of moving from one foster home to the next. She was a beautiful child and foster families often wanted to adopt her but her mother would not let her go. Elena never saw her brother again. Her mother was too tired on her days off from the diner and did not visit after all.

When Elena was 12, she was able to find the place where her mother was now living so she decided to confront her. A man, burly and gruff, wearing a sleeveless undershirt and a baggy pair of khakis, answered the knock on the door.

"Yeah? Whadda ya want, kid?"

Elena could smell the beer on him. In a meek voice, she asked for her mother. The man yelled for her and she came to the door surprised to see her daughter standing there. She reluctantly invited her in and the two sat awkwardly in the drab living room. Elena felt the sensation of déjà vu.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" her mother remarked.

"Yes, a long while," Elena replied. She had grown quite a bit. She looked older than her years and even more lovely. Her mother stared at her for a long time while Elena looked around. All the cheap, old furniture from their house was in this room. The same pictures on the wall. Even the same staircase in the hall. Elena knew that there were probably two bedrooms upstairs.

"Do you know where Timmy is living now, Mom? I haven't seen him in years," Elena said.

"I gave up my parental rights so that Timmy could be adopted by the foster family he'd been living with. They've since moved but I don't know to where. How are you getting along?"

"I'm living with my sixth foster family. They move me a lot. They said that since you are still my legal mother that they don't want me to get too attached to anyone else. Mom, can I come home now?" Elena's voice quavered.

"Oh, no, I'm sorry, sweetie," said her mother. "My boyfriend wouldn't like that. You understand, right? He isn't used to children." Then her mother leaned in close to whisper to Elena that she was pregnant with a boy. "Hank doesn't know yet. He tells me that I'm getting fat. But I'm sure that once he knows I'm having his son, he'll be thrilled."

Elena sat still, feeling numb. She'd arranged for her father's death and it had cost her everything. She left that day knowing that she'd never again have a family. She'd never find her brother and she'd never meet her new brother. She knew that her mother didn't want her and she'd probably never seen her again either.

A few more foster homes and Elena was an 18 year-old beauty. She'd learned from the father figures with whom she'd lived that men desired her and that she could use that desire to her advantage. She had a closet full of beautiful clothes to take with her when she was released from state care and on her own in life. Her last foster father gave her several thousand dollars and told her to keep it a secret. She used the money to fund a room to live in while she attended cosmetology college. By the time she was 19, she was renting her own chair in a high end salon.

One day she washed the dark hair and massaged the head of a tall and handsome older man who then asked her to dinner. She learned, during that dinner, that the man was rich and getting richer. Her beauty and wily ways soon landed her a wealthy husband.

Now all she had to do was become a lady. She reimagined her entire life and presented herself to the world as former debutante and now wife of a wealthy timber baron. All that remained was to make the acquaintance of her prominent neighbor, Dr. Grace Trevelyan Grey, and use her to find her way into the elevated circles of Seattle society.

CHAPTER 32

The very day that Elena and Eric Lincoln moved into the mansion down the lane from the Grey's, Elena donned a white silk blouse and black slacks and strolled down the lane to her neighbors. Using the excuse that her phone was not yet hooked up, Elena gained admittance to the Grey's entry hall. Their maid, Dorothea, disappeared and a distinguished gentleman with the easy air of one born to privilege appeared to greet Elena.

Elena explained her 'predicament' and was shown to the phone in a room just off the foyer. She pretended to place a call and her dismay when the line was busy. This gave her time to flirt with Carrick Grey. Even someone as deluded as Elena could tell that he was not impressed and this was quite confounding for Elena. She'd never known a man who could resist her beauty and flattery. Carrick frowned and told her that she should feel free to try her call again but that he had to be getting back to work. Then he left her, standing alone and chagrined. Elena was about to leave the house when the door flew open and two little boys flew in, nearly knocking into her. She was about to cuss them out when she heard the dulcet tones of a woman cautioning the boys to slow down. Jackpot!

Elena turned to the boys and smiled sweetly at them. She reached out to ruffle the hair on the smaller boy. He screamed and knocked her hand away. Thus, her introduction to the child she would one day beat in her dungeon and declare to be her own.

Also, her introduction to Grace Grey. Elena had read all about the Greys in back copies of the Seattle Times society pages at the local library. This woman was the reason that she'd insisted that Eric sell his luxury townhome and buy her a modest mansion in Bellevue. She went right to work being charming and ingratiating. Grace tried to hide her consternation at the sight of Elena. Although Elena thought herself well dressed, she had worn a black pushup bra under an almost sheer white blouse. Her slacks were skin tight and she was teetering on 6 inch heels. While she had been a natural blonde when younger, she'd been dyeing her hair a brassy yellow since her teens. Her face was heavily made up and her teeth had bright red lipstick stains. Her hands were adorned with long, pointed red nails…explaining Christian's frightened reaction to her attempted touch.

Elena went right to work explaining her visit, lauding the manners of the handsome man who'd offered her a seat and the phone. She described her initial dilemma and then asked for a drink of cold water. Elliot openly stared at her…or more precisely, her visible bosom. He turned to his mother to whisper and Grace immediately urged both her sons to go to their rooms to play. Then, graciously, she invited Elena to sit while she brought out glasses of lemonade.

During the following conversation, most of it about Elena…or rather, Elena's version of Elena…Grace stared at a sort of person she'd never before come to know. Elena's mangling of the English language betrayed her lack of education. Grace did not believe that Elena had graduated from a finishing school as she said. Not surprisingly, Grace…being a kind woman…felt bad for this strange person.. She'd no idea, of course, that Elena would be such a danger to her family one day. Elena was nothing if not devious and she took her time worming her way into Grace's heart and life.

Grace often looked back at that time in her life. She and Carrick had only recently finalized their adoption of their tiny, mute second son and she had been vulnerable to Elena's phony sympathies. If only I'd been stronger, Grace thought…how different things might have been.

Even as she sat at Ana's kitchen table with her daughter and Kate, her heart heavy with the pain of Ana's and Christian's separation, she wondered…what if? Then she remembered the words of a song she'd heard once on the radio as she washed dishes…

God bless the broken road that led me straight to you.

Yes, she smiled inwardly. Elena was part of that broken road and so, Grace couldn't truly hate her. Yet.

CHAPTER 33

Ana's bed in the cottage was half the size of the bed she'd shared with Christian at Escala. It was more than enough room, however, for just her. With Christian and Theo now sharing the bed, it was a tight fit and getting tighter. That was fine with Christian. He held her so close that he never noticed the difference. As her pregnancy advanced, as Theo kicked and pressed upon her diaphragm, her ankles swollen and her back aching, Ana found it increasingly impossible to get comfortable. She needed to constantly adjust her position to find a way to breath. With Christian wrapped around her and nowhere to go, if Ana tried to roll over, she would land on the floor. They would start out the night with Ana in the middle and Christian behind her on the edge but as the night wore on, Ana would find herself on the opposite edge.

And not just the edge of the bed….the edge of her sanity as well. She'd nudge Christian and he'd move back in his sleep. He could finally sleep well and being half-awakened a dozen times a night didn't bother him at all. He was always aware that Ana had gotten out of bed for a bathroom run. He'd move back toward the wall and wait, listening to be sure that she was all right. The moment she climbed back into bed, he'd fall back to sleep, automatically wrapping his arm around her again. Then the cycle of Ana fighting for space would start all over.

Thus, Ana's concerted efforts to be cheerful were not enough to actually achieve said cheerfulness. When Christian awoke in the morning to find Ana gone, he felt the usual vague anxiety he'd always felt when Ana wasn't with him. He'd drag himself to the bathroom, brush his teeth and go looking for his girl. The nice thing about this little cottage, he felt, was that Ana was never far. Even though lately she was grumpy when he found her, nothing she said or did could bother him. He'd walk up to her and wrap himself around her all over again. Ana might snarl or push him away…didn't matter. He'd smile, sit down at the table and watch her with sleepy eyes. He'd really piss her off when he'd tell her how beautiful he thought her to be as she stood before him in a robe than she could no longer fasten, severe bedhead, dark circles and bags from lack of rest. He'd smile at her with such happiness on his countenance that she could have slapped him upside his head with the iron skillet.

"Get dressed. Taylor will be here soon," she'd growl. Poor Taylor. He could save himself an early wakeup call and a long round trip to the cottage and back to Grey House if he slept in the cottage next door but then he couldn't sleep with Gail and that would leave him without rest.

Christian would simply continue smiling, kiss Ana's forehead and go off to get ready for his day at work. He would eat his breakfast and then need to hold Ana for a long time, nuzzling her sweet-scented neck and telling her that he loved her. She'd wave goodbye as the Mercedes took off down the road and then breathe a sigh of relief to finally be alone again. She'd go back to bed and try to make up for the rest she hadn't gotten the night before.

She was so ready to finish her pregnancy.

Once Christian was belted into his seat, he'd stare out the window. Grey House was so far from the beach which meant that Ana was so far away during the day. The self-discipline he'd once been so proud of seemed to dissipate the further from the cottage they drove. He tried to work on his laptop, pushing himself to concentrate.

When he arrived at Grey House, he didn't feel the same satisfaction that he used to thrill to as he beheld the magnificent 30 stories of gleaming glass adorned with his name. The obsequiousness of his staff as he passed reception bored him. Even his cherished private elevator no longer engaged his ego. The only building that excited him now was a tiny cottage at the beach that housed his girl and his son.

Andrea greeted him brightly and handed him a stack of in-house messages. He'd find dozens more on his computer from his other offices. Before he began the tedious process of replying, he'd sit for a while gazing bedazzled at his screen saver…a sweet picture of Ana holding her belly. He marveled at how he'd done a complete 180 from wanting her to abort to loving her swollen with his child. He couldn't remember how he could have ever felt any other way.

Ros would walk in, ready to go over his schedule and prep for meetings and find him still staring at his screen. She'd snap at him. She'd tell him to get his shit together. She'd grimace at his reluctance to even snap back. He was just too happy. He'd look up and beam at her.

At 5 o'clock he was out the door with any undone work left lying on his desk. As Taylor drove him home, he'd sing along to the radio. Taylor would quietly groan, depending on the song, because Christian would sing along with anyone…Taylor Swift, for cryin' out loud. No, thought Taylor, a grown man should not be warbling along with Taylor Swift.

And every day, Taylor would have to warn Grey to stay buckled up until Taylor opened his door. Christian was as antsy as a little kid. He'd jump out of the SUV, dash down the steps and fly in the door, calling for Ana. Taylor would shake his head and head for home and Gail.

After some heavy duty napping, Ana would be happy to see Christian and would have forgotten what an annoyance he was at 7:30 a.m. They'd sit at the kitchen table, Ana on his lap, and just neck until his stomach growled. Then he'd set her down on the couch, hand her a book and change into his at-home clothes before donning his apron and asking what she'd like to have for dinner. She'd always suggest cordon bleu or homemade pasta and sauce. He'd laugh and make her pancakes with pineapple bits and chocolate chips.

He was a man drunk with love.

CHAPTER 34

Christian's obsession with protecting and caring for Ana grew stronger as her due date approached. He followed her around the house, ready to catch her if she tumbled. Even as the temperature climbed with the coming of Spring, he was wrapping her up in afghans. When she started sitting outside on the porch, he bought a portable heater. He insisted on helping her into the bathroom the 101 times a day that she felt the need for the toilet. She'd always been very private about her toilet time and she would now yell at him to get out when he wanted to help her sit down and get up. She hated it that he listened at the door for sounds of her falling. He loved taking baths with her and washing in places she couldn't reach. She hated that she couldn't get out of the tub without her husband the 'crane'…as she put it.

He told her a dozen times a day that she was glowing. She didn't believe him even though she knew that he wouldn't lie to her. In Christian's eyes, Ana had grown ever more beautiful. He rarely took his eyes off her. They'd been making the Sunday brunch run to Grey Manor for the past few weeks and Christian's behavior had his family in stitches. The only person who didn't laugh was Carrick who remembered all too clearly how helpless he felt when Grace had been pregnant, especially after the first miscarriage. They'd always been an affectionate couple but with each miscarriage, their need to hold each other intensified.

Ana was an independent person who didn't want to burden anyone but she knew that Christian would do whatever he felt the need to do. Watching his precious wife waddle heavily through Grace's garden to pick flowers worried him terribly. He pictured her taking a header into the thorny rose bushes. He insisted on walking by her side and having her link her arm with his. When she complained, he'd point out that they'd always walked arm in arm or, at least, hand in hand. And, he firmly asserted, they always would so Ana would simply shrug in resignation.

Having grown up with little in the way of physical affection, Ana had to make some adjustments when she began dating Christian. At first, she'd simply let go of his hand but then he'd just pick hers up again. Being hugged and held, nuzzled and sniffed, had, at first, taken some getting used to…making her feel that her space was being invaded. The deeper in love she fell, however, the more she wanted to touch Christian. That someone wanted to simply love her was a foreign concept to her. Neither of her parents, especially her mother, had been touchers. Her father would often pat her head when she was little and her back as she grew bigger but until she met Kate, she'd never been hugged. Kate was a big hugger and it bothered Ana at first. She just didn't understand affection.

During one of her individual sessions with Dr. Flynn, she'd mentioned this and was puzzled by the sad expression on his face. She'd told him that one of the problems in her marriage was Christian's neediness. Except for sex, Ana could have gone all day with nothing more than a peck on the lips. Dr. Flynn was used to dealing with sexually incompatible couples…which was certainly not the Grey's issue. And wives would always complain that their husbands never touched them unless they wanted sex. Here he had a woman who was having to learn to accept affection with no strings attached.

Christian's family had been stunned to see Christian the Untouchable turn into Christian the Grabby around Ana. Even more remarkable was that in time his need to touch Ana had expanded into wanting to hug his parents and siblings. The first time that Christian brought Ana to Grey Manor as his date, he kissed his mother's cheek and ignored his father's outstretched hand in favor of a hug. His siblings stood like statues when he enveloped them in his arms. Grace noticed that her son's eyes were often dilated when he looked at Ana. She knew immediately that Christian had fallen in love. When he was finally able to announce to his family that Ana had agreed to marry him, his gray eyes had turned to the color of charcoal.

They stayed that way throughout their brief engagement and on the day of their wedding.

"Bro, I could swear that you were high. Are you sure that you didn't do some weed before coming here today? Your eyes are so dilated that they're practically black." Elliot leaned in for a closer look.

"I'm actually feeling a little anxious, El. Thanks to Mia, the traditionalist, I had to sleep alone last night and wake up without Ana. I don't operate well without her anymore," Christian confessed as he stood in the garden under an arbor of roses, waiting on Ana.

"Wow. When you fall in love, you go all in. I always thought the only 'her' you'd ever feel that kind of passion for was The Grace. I'm still adjusting to the new you," Elliot whispered.

"You know, El, it's a funny thing but I don't remember ever not feeling this way. It's like Ana has always been with me but I just opened my eyes wide enough to see her. Sometimes I wonder if I knew her before…maybe passed her on the street and subconsciously fell for her right then and there. I walked into that bar and there she was. Boom. Done."

"Well, I know that it was lust at first sight with Kate but I needed some time to admit to myself that it was love. Don't ever tell her about your passion for Ana, please. I don't think I could measure up. For instance, I can walk down the street with Kate without holding her hand. At least for a couple of blocks," Elliot allowed.

"I know that Ana loves me. Her heart is so special…but my love is stronger for her than hers for me." Christian didn't say this sadly. It was just a fact.

As Carrick walked Ana down the aisle, she certainly looked like a woman madly in love. She didn't take her eyes off Christian and tears were brimming. The tears, however, were sadness that her own father wasn't giving her away. She glanced toward the heavens for a moment and smiled, thinking, 'you would have really liked this guy, Daddy.'

Christian couldn't hold back any longer. Before Carrick had Ana half way down the aisle, Christian ran up to claim his bride. Everyone present burst into gales of laughter with Ana's gales of giggles being the only ones Christian could hear. He whispered to her that his father walked too slowly. Ana handed her bouquet to Kate as she and Christian stopped before the officiant. Kate winked at Elliot.

They'd written their own vows. Christian had memorized almost a page worth of promises, most of which he later broke. Ana's were simpler. She loved him and would never leave him. She broke one of her vows as well. At the time, neither could have imagined doing so.

Elena, however, smirked and vowed to herself that she would destroy this misbegotten marriage and she almost did. Now, as Christian's every thought was of Ana and her wellbeing, Elena had wracked her brain for the perfect revenge and she had a pretty good idea of what that would be.

CHAPTER 35

"Hello?"

"Leila, dear, how are you? How is art school?"

"Elena? I'm so surprised to hear from you. It's been more than two years, hasn't it?"

"Yes, far too long. And we parted on such sorrowful terms. My heart just broke for you, sweetie. You did not deserve the ill treatment you received from Mr. Grey." Elena's tone was rich with shameless treacle but Leila was still naïve and unsuspecting of ulterior motives.

"I didn't think so either, Elena, but I had no choice but to accept his decision. I'd so hoped to be collared by him. I dreamt of being able to call him Master but it was not to be."

"Tell me how your life has been going since you left Seattle," Elena asked. She already knew thanks to a private investigator she'd more or less blackmailed into working for her. That was one of the nice things about BDSM, she thought…the way the community came together for each other.

"I tried to do well in art school, Elena. I really did…but I couldn't concentrate. I began using uppers to keep me going but they made my brain fuzzy and finally I had to drop out. I had to take a job as a waitress and move into my parents' basement. I know that I'm not welcome here even if they don't say so out loud. I had a boyfriend for a while but he wasn't into BDSM and, well, the whole thing just petered out. Now, I spend the little extra money I have going to the clubs. I keep hoping to find a Dom like Mr. Grey but he is really one of a kind."

Leila began to sniffle. "I still don't understand. He even told me that I was a good sub." Now, she was beginning to cry hard. Elena rolled her eyes.

"Well, perhaps you'd like a second chance?" she hinted.

"Yes, yes. Of course, I would but he always said that he never gave second chances."

"Things change, dear. Christian has had a very rough couple of years. He married, you know, but it didn't last. His wife forced him to dismantle his beautiful red room and dispose of all his expensive toys. Then she almost immediately quit her job so that she could sit around the apartment and read. She didn't trust him to be faithful to her so she insisted on going with him to every out of town meeting. While he worked, she'd shop. She bought so much that it had to be mailed back to Escala because it wouldn't fit on the jet. He got a bigger jet and she made him name it after her. Her ego is boundless. She really showed her true colors after the wedding.

"She always tried to pretend that she wasn't interested in his money or his looks but she spent plenty and once, after he broke his nose, she insisted that he have cosmetic surgery even though he didn't care about it. When he asked me to visit because he needed someone to talk with, she made him change the elevator codes."

Leila gasped. "I had no idea, of course. She did look really pretty in pictures I saw online."

"It was only skin deep, Leila, and if the pictures weren't photo shopped before printing, she'd threaten to sue.

"I did meet her a few times and she is quite plain….pale and washed out. She doesn't even try to dress for him. She spends most of her time in sweats. For the press and public, however, she puts on quite a show. She forces Christian to look at her adoringly for the public and, heaven help him if she feels that he didn't look like a man in love. She'd go at him night and day until the next public outing when he'd learned his lesson.

"Oh, Leila, his time with you was the last time I saw him happy. He's never come right out and said but he's hinted that he knows what a mistake he made in terminating your contract and taking up with that miserable shrew."

By now, Leila was full on sobbing. "Oh, Elena, what can I do to help him?"

Elena grimaced like Cruella de Vile. "Ana is pregnant, Leila. Christian stopped sleeping with her within weeks of the wedding and that was fine with Ana. She doesn't care for sex. However, months ago she insisted that she wanted to save their marriage and have a child with him. Well, he didn't want to have a child…at least, not with her but he slept with her anyway right up until the stick turned pink. She deliberately stopped her Depo injection without telling him. She could feel him pulling away so to keep him, she let herself become pregnant. He believed that the child was his until recently. Now he knows that it was fathered by one of her many boyfriends but he feels responsible nonetheless. To further upset him, she moved out into substandard housing, making him chase after her to keep her from harming the baby.

"Get this. He's left Escala."

"What! That beautiful penthouse?" Leila was astonished that anyone would want to give up the plush life.

"Yes, she's got him living with her and waiting hand and foot on her. Grace is so upset. Ana had forbidden him to see his family and wants to move to Europe because she'd already run through all the men in the States. Now she's on to French men. Oh, Leila, it is so sad to see Christian so defeated. He thinks that he can never leave her because of the child. He has such a good heart. He loves the child even tho' he doesn't believe that it is his. Carrick has tried to obtain sole custody for Christian but Ana is so cunning. She's even laughed in Carrick's face, telling him that unless Christian signs over everything to her, they will stay married.

"And, to the world, she is a charming and kind soul who is deeply in love with her husband. When you know the truth of it, it is sickening to watch. I know that it is wrong but a part of me wants her to die so that Christian can have his child and move on to someone who truly loves him.

"Well, I just wanted to check in with you. I think this whole nightmare has made me highly sentimental and it's really helped me to have you listen, Leila. I feel a bit better after having bared my soul to you. Good luck to you, dear."

Elena rang off, throwing her head back and cackling with maniacal glee. She knew that that stupid little girl would swallow every word. However, even though Leila was simple in most ways, she could be a genius at manipulation. She had Christian eating out of her hand right up to the moment he met Ana. All Elena had to do for now was relax and wait for Leila to stew herself into a devious plan to rescue Christian. Elena's hands would be clean.

She heard Isaac knocking at the back door. Tonight she would have some fun with her sub following with a good night's rest. She hoped that Leila would think fast. Elena could hardly wait to see Christian and Ana destroyed.

CHAPTER 36

Lying on his back, Ana curled into him with her head on his chest, Christian couldn't sleep. His mind was racing and his nerves were jangling. With Theo due in two weeks, he was worried about everything. Having read a dozen books, having been to Lamaze classes with Ana, he still felt completely unprepared. This afternoon's experience had really shaken him.

As Ana napped on the couch, Christian was in the kitchen chopping vegetables for stir fry. Suddenly, she cried out. Christian whirled around and raced to her, thinking that she was having a nightmare but her eyes were wide open and panicked. She was holding her hand over her belly and gasping for air. The baby was early. Ana stared at Christian in fear. He picked her up, with the afghan wrapped around her and hurried out to the Mercedes SUV parked up in the road. He yelled for Ryan, who was already running out of the cottage next door.

"Sir, buckle both of you in."

"Ryan, just drive, fast," Christian yelled. Ryan kept his cool. He calmly repeated his order that Grey attach their seat belts. In alarm and frustration, Grey didn't have time to yell at his subordinate. He buckled his seat belt and then the special one he'd had installed weeks ago to accommodate Ana. He wanted so badly to hold her on his lap but that wouldn't afford her any protection. So, he'd had the belt installed in the middle so that he could hold her close, at least.

Every few minutes, Ana would squeeze his hand with more strength than he thought possible from his petite wife. She'd lean forward and scream, holding her belly with her other hand. He tried to remember all their training…tried to get Ana to breathe the way they'd been taught but the pain was so intense that she didn't seem to hear him. Every scream terrified him. She was being ripped apart and he couldn't do anything for her.

He ordered Ryan to take them to the Bainbridge Clinic. It was closer than Seattle General and Christian was genuinely afraid that Ana couldn't hold out that long. He knew for sure that he couldn't. The nurses rushed Ana into an exam room but wouldn't let Christian follow. He stood at the doors, peering anxiously through the small window. When he saw the doctor walking toward the waiting room, he pushed through and met her half way down the hall.

"My wife?" he choked out.

"She's fine. She's been given a mild sedative, probably be asleep before you get home. I know you're anxious to see her so we'll talk in her room," the doctor turned and headed back to the exam room.

Ana was pale but smiling. Her eyes were already sleepy. Christian leaned down and kissed her soft lips. She saw the exhaustion in his face and the relief. She wasn't in pain anymore but she knew that her husband was still. She held his hand, brushing his fingers with her thumb to soothe him.

"Well, you had quite a bout with Braxton-Hicks, Ana. They aren't usually so severe or long lasting. But that is all they were. However, the severity of the contractions tells me that your actual labor might be too much for you. You are a small woman and I'm inclined to urge you to have a caesarean rather than a natural birth."

Ana shook her head vigorously. "No, I want to push him out myself. I've done my reading, doctor, and I know that it's better for the baby to be delivered vaginally."

The doctor smiled patiently at Ana. She explained that that were pros and cons for both means of delivery. Yes, a baby coming through the birth canal had medical advantages but those advantages were not present if the baby was too big for the mother. The doctor was concerned that a vaginal birth would put too much stress on both mother and baby. She advised Ana to see her usual doctor in Seattle as soon as possible.

Now, as Christian lay there holding Ana protectively, he waited for sun-up. He'd arranged to have Ana at Dr. Greene's at 8 in the morning. He knew that there were longer recovery times for caesareans and that Ana might not be able to immediately begin to breastfeed but today's experience made him realize that seeing her in agony would make it impossible for him to help her through the birth.

How had Elliot managed when Ava was being born? 'Course, Kate was taller and curvier than Ana. She'd sailed through pregnancy while if there was a complication to be had, Ana had it. Kate had what her doctor called hips built to give birth. Elliot had told Christian that Kate didn't cry or scream in pain during labor. Oh, no, Kate had cussed her way through 14 hours of pain all the while telling Elliot that he was an a**hole and would never touch her again.

No. Ana is too fragile, Christian thought, and so am I.

"Well, I consulted with the doctor in Bainbridge a short while ago and she and I are in agreement, Ana."

Dr. Greene looked Ana in the eye. Ana knew what was coming and began to cry. Christian felt himself start to breathe again.

"Now, Ana, you and I discussed this possibility at almost every visit, including the first one." She handed Ana a tissue. "This was always my first choice. You know that."

Christian looked at his wife in surprise. Never, when they'd talked about the birth, had Ana mentioned Dr. Greene's advice about the delivery. Instead, she'd forced him to take Lamaze classes and watch that horrific birth video.

"I'm strong," Ana insisted. "It was my understanding that I could at least try before you started slicing and dicing my abdomen," she huffed.

"Yes, you are one of the stronger minded women I've met but your body is just too small. And," Dr. Greene reminded her, "it was only your understanding that I'd let you try to deliver vaginally. Every time you brought it up as a possibility, I'd correct you….apparently too gently. I guess I should have brought the hammer down hard from the very beginning since you hear what you want to hear." The doctor winked at Christian who was having a hard time keeping a relieved grin from his face.

"You'll be at exactly 39 weeks on the 3rd of May so that will be Theo's birthday. He is healthy and strong. And since you'll be receiving only a local anesthetic, you'll be awake for the birth and you can hold him and begin breastfeeding within a few minutes. You'll stay in the hospital for 3-4 days and it will take at least six weeks to fully heal. You'll have some pain for up to two weeks after and a small scar which I know that you don't care about. This is not new information. We have discussed all this but I'm repeating it more for your husband's sake.

"Try to relax, Mr. Grey. You look like a man who's just been given a chance to walk back down from the gallows," Dr. Greene smiled. Ana looked up at him with narrowed eyes. The ride home would not be fun.

Still, Christian felt as though a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Ana would not be in agony and he wouldn't have to watch helplessly.

Ana sat in her seat, leaning up against the window with her arms crossed and jaw tight. Christian sighed.

"Ana, honey, please sit in the middle. You should be wearing your special seatbelt," Christian pleaded.

"Ana, it is what it is. You have to trust your doctor. And speaking of trust…I know that I've betrayed yours many times but, Ana, you betrayed mine, too, and on a much more important topic." Geez, he thought, I am really sticking my head in the noose.

Ana shot him a look of amazed displeasure. "I what!?

"Well, sweetheart, think about it. Your safety and good health are everything to me. You know that and yet you deliberately let me believe that you could deliver without surgery. You were, no doubt, planning to trick me into taking you to the Bainbridge Clinic, thinking that you could sneak a vaginal delivery past me. You were putting yourself and my son in jeopardy. Did you stop to think what the loss of either one of you would do to me? Or how I'd feel about your deception as I stood over your graves?"

Ana looked out the window. Then she detached her seat belt and slid over to the middle, reattaching her pregnancy belt. Her expression softened.

"I thought, and still do, that I could handle it. I've always been able to handle everything that life has thrown at me. I had no other choice. Dr. Greene was, in my opinion, being overly cautious…just covering her butt. Those x-rays that she showed us today where she pointed out my narrow pelvis were the first evidence that maybe I couldn't do this as I wished.

She sighed and put her hands over her face. Tears brimmed.

"I thought that I was going to be doing this all by myself so I guess I didn't think about your feelings. I was just waiting on divorce papers. I had to convince myself that I could be tougher."

"And that's definitely all on me, Ana," Christian said sadly.

"I married you and promised to honor and love you unconditionally for all our days. I screwed up because I am an immature and selfish man."

"You were that, yes, at one time but you've changed. I have just clung to everything I had to accept to do the right thing for my child. Giving you my love and trust again has been like trying to turn the Titanic around. I haven't worked at it as hard as I ought because I've been scared that you'd revert back to the Christian who needed everything to be his way. These past months you've been my original Christian and I haven't been able to give you credit for that. I'm sorry."

Ana looked over at her husband, shamefaced. There, in his face, she saw love shining at her. Could she accept that? Could she believe in it?

"I'll work for your trust as long as it takes, Ana. I look back on how hard I worked to get you to be mine and when, finally and inexplicably to me, you let down your guard, I blew it all to hell. I look back now at everything I did and I wonder how I could have been so god damn stupid. I mean, I knew your history. I heard Kate's warning. She so fiercely pointed out to me that I was receiving an immense gift from you and should not ever take it for granted because if I did, you'd retreat right back into that self- protective bubble that had been your only choice all your life."

CHAPTER 37

As Ana fell asleep on his shoulder, Christian thought back to Kate's warning. She had taken him aside during the engagement party for "a word or two".

"Christian, I know that you don't want to be standing next to me right now. However, I need to give you a sort of engagement gift."

"You and Elliot already gave us a gift," Christian chuckled, "and every time I use that gravy boat, I'll think of you."

"That stupid thing was Elliot's idea but never mind. What I have to give you is intangible, something only I am truly able to give."

"I'm intrigued. Please, go on." Christian and Kate both had dominant personalities. He'd often thought Kate would make for a perfect dominatrix. He had to tolerate her for Ana's sake but he intended to find a way to limit their contact. Kate wasn't stupid, however, she knew that Christian felt that she was an obstacle to his having control.

"I know Ana better than anyone alive and that most definitely includes you. Being strung out on love does not mean that you know her well. Spending years at her side means that I do. She would tell you herself, if she hasn't already, that I am the first person she ever trusted. The first person with whom she felt completely, uncompromisingly safe. I am uber-aware that I can never test that trust. I treat it as the treasure it is."

"You think that I don't feel the same way? I treasure her more than you can imagine. She opened me up to love. And there is no one I trust more than Ana." Christian's patience with this lecture was already ebbing.

"I do know that. I've watched you carefully to be certain that Ana would not get hurt. I can see how deeply you love her. However, I am still going to give you this warning. Be hyper-alert at all times that you do not let her down. It isn't that Ana is unforgiving. It's that once her trust is broken, despite her great love for you, she most likely will never trust in you again. She'll go on loving you and you might never even notice that the trust is gone but it will be. Having someone like Ana believe in you is a challenge, you see. Most of us are oft times careless even with those we purport to love and, after a sincere apology for our transgressions, are lucky to regain our place with them. With Ana, the love and trust go deep. That's the upside. The downside is, that once ripped out of its sacred depths, it will never return.

"Christian, I hope you hear me."

"Well, Kate, I think that you're being a mite melodramatic but I will take your warning under advisement. To be one of two people in Ana's world with whom she feels safe is a gift indeed. If you ever catch me about to blow it, I'll trust you to give me the kick in the butt that I'll need."

"Catching you before you blow it will be almost impossible, Christian. Ana would never betray your trust by talking about you behind your back. I'm sorry but you are on your own. Don't hurt my friend."

Then Kate had walked away. Christian hurried back to his fiancée's side, slipping his arm around her tiny waist and pulling her closer. Without missing a beat, Ana put her arm around Christian automatically while not breaking the conversation she was having with one of their guests. Grace, across the room and watching with awe, leaned back against Carrick, accepting his gentle kiss on her head. It didn't seem possible to her that Christian could ever take Ana for granted. It hadn't seemed possible to Ana either…at the time.

After driving her to the brink, Christian was back in her bed but recalling Kate's warning that Ana would always love but never again trust suddenly drove a dagger into his heart. He believed that he was forgiven for all but would he ever regain her complete trust? Now that she knew what he was capable of…. He ached to think that he might never again make her feel completely safe. He feared that he would wonder all his days.

They were 30 minutes from home, Ana was sleeping…so Christian used the time to grieve. When Ryan looked into the rear view mirror, he saw his boss leaning his head on Ana's and crying.

CHAPTER 38

Christian used his private investigator, Bill Welch, primarily to vet possible acquisitions, new hires and any people he had to trust in business. He had also used Welch's services to vet new subs and to keep track of all of his dismissed subs. With the exception of Suzanna Wilde, all of his subs had moved on from Seattle and settled into new lives. Suzanna liked living in Seattle but she seemed to have moved on as well. She'd married a bartender, a nice guy who'd helped her learn to stand again after she'd been brought to her knees by the rejection by her dom. His was the first bar she'd visited after leaving Grey. The bartender, Mike, had served her just enough and then cut her off. He saw her safely home and listened to her intoxicated ruminations on the disappointments of life. When they grew close and Suzanna had grown sober, she told him about her lifestyle. He was shocked but he told her that if she wanted to continue with BDSM, they could only be friends. She had no problem with quitting BDSM. It had only brought her misery. She never mentioned Grey or talked with other subs about him and not just because of the NDA. Their marriage was good and they were soon to have a second child. Grey rarely crossed her mind anymore.

Thus, Welch was feeling relaxed about sub retaliation. That is, until the day one of his operatives told him that Grey's final sub, Leila Williams, had left art school and jetted back into Seattle quite recently. He checked Elena Lincoln's call log and found nothing to indicate communication with Leila but he knew that Mrs. Lincoln used burner phones. So, he dug deeper and found that Leila had received several calls from the Seattle area. Those calls could have been from Suzanna since she and Leila had been friends and roommates.

Welch needed to be sure, however. He found that Leila was staying at the Fairmont…a bit pricey for an art student. Could Elena be funding Leila's accommodations? Her salons had closed and she was claiming several hundred K in business losses on her taxes. Still, it was imperative that Welch notify Taylor and have Leila, her room and phone under surveillance. He knew that Mrs. Grey was due any day now and he liked the lady. He wanted nothing to mar this important day for her.

"Hey, Bill. It's been a while. I hate to say it but hearing from you is never a good sign," said Taylor.

Bill chuckled. "I do have that effect on people. Tell me, how are things going with Grey and his wife?"

"Better. He moved into her cottage on the beach. However, someone broke in while Grey was out of town. The coverts we have parked next door took him down but it was disturbing. All we could get out of the guy was that he was just a burglar, nothing more."

"You didn't believe that?" Bill asked.

"No. Shortly before that Elena had made her second visit to the cottage. Grey was there when she showed up and he told her to get lost. Told her that he was done with her. Without his financial backing and the Grey ladies' patronage, Elena soon went under. Bankruptcy and burglary… too close together to be a coincidence. It's been quiet since, however."

"Oh. Well, sorry to tell you then…Leila Williams has returned to town. She's staying at the Fairmont. She left that expensive art school Grey was paying for. Now she could be here to see Suzanna Wild but my spidey sense tells me that she's really here on Lincoln's dime. I already have ops watching her but do you want deeper surveillance?"

"Asap, Bill. I'll have a talk with her today. Thanks for the update and keep in touch." As Taylor rang off, he felt a knot of tension in his gut. Mrs. Grey was due any day and Grey's most tenacious and cunning sub was back in town. Oh, boy.

"Gail, I have to go out for a while." Taylor pulled on his raincoat and kissed his gal farewell. Without telling her, Gail knew something was wrong. After years of working for Christian Grey, dealing with his subs and that gruesome hag who fancied herself to be their den mother, Gail herself had a spidey sense of sorts. She was worried so for Ana. Sometimes, no matter her maternal feelings for Christian, she was angry with him for bringing so much pain into Ana's life. The poor girl was innocent and kind and so so good and Grey just bulldozed her. True, thought Gail, Christian had given up that disgusting so-called lifestyle of his but he still welcomed that awful Mrs. Lincoln into their home. Gail had witnessed all the times that Ana had tried to visit congenially with her husband and Mrs. Lincoln only to have her be verbally tormented by Elena. That was bad enough but made all the worse by a lack of defense from Christian. Gail remembered overhearing Ana complain that her husband didn't stand up for her and Christian's response was that Elena hadn't meant to be insulting. He also insisted that Ana stand up for herself.

Their marriage, as observed by Gail and Taylor, bounced from good to bad and back again. Whenever Ana had had enough, Grey would fight to keep her. He agreed to couples' therapy and individual therapy. He forbade Mrs. Lincoln from coming to the penthouse for a time. Eventually, however, the pendulum would swing the other way.

Gail's heart broke for Ana when she told Christian that she was going to have a child and he exploded at her, throwing a glass and nearly hitting her. Gail watched Ana try for the next two weeks to convince her husband that he could be a good father. Gail always felt that being a good father was not really of importance to Grey. She believed that having to share Ana's attention was the breaking point.

Gail had come to love Christian over the years, thinking of him as a son more than an employer. He was, to be sure, very good to Gail. But as she saw his selfishness deprive Ana of her self-respect, her job, her dreams and finally almost her child, she talked to Taylor of possibly leaving Grey's employment. Jason told her to just say the word and they'd be gone. However, when Ana did leave and Gail saw what that loss did to Grey, she changed her mind. She feared that he wouldn't be able to survive losing Ana.

Taylor had no paternal feelings for Grey. He was just a paycheck. He felt loyalty but Grey had been chipping away at that from the beginning. Taylor's first priority was Gail and Gail's happiness. He saw what Grey's lifestyle was doing to Gail who had to put up with ill-mannered subs and the haughty Mrs. Lincoln. He was present on one occasion when Elena dressed down Gail for putting one too many ice cubes in her drink. He had taken Grey aside on that occasion and sternly warned him that if he allowed Mrs. Lincoln to ever again abuse Gail, he would be looking for a new chief of security. After that, when Lincoln arrived, Gail would leave.

Everything changed for the better when Grey first brought Ana to the penthouse. Taylor and Gail marveled at the change in Grey. He was relaxed, congenial. He took to saying please and thank you. There was genuine laughter in a place that had only known the cackle of Mrs. Lincoln. Within weeks, Ana had moved in and the red room was dismantled. In a couple of months, the couple were married. A dark cloud had lifted and in its place, soothing sunlight warmed the rooms. For a while, happiness reigned. Then Mrs. Lincoln returned. Ana quit her position at Seattle Publishing to join Grey on his numerous business travels. He resumed his workouts at 5 am and coming home at 8 pm. to work in his study until midnight. Ana stopped eating. She began to lose weight. Dark circles formed under her eyes. She was never petulant. She never complained.

Grey would, however, come out of his study to receive Mrs. Lincoln. That was important. Ana would hide in the library. Elena would school Christian on how to handle his ungrateful, disrespectful wife. It would sometimes take a couple of days before Christian recovered but Gail watched as Ana slowly faded. There was less laughter. The penthouse grew colder…and quieter.

Elliot, Kate and Mia came by and Ana would rouse herself to be good company but they knew better. Elliot would go into his brother's study and voices would be raised until Elliot left and slammed the door behind him. Kate and Mia would retreat to the library to talk with Ana but Ana, loyal and kind, would say nothing untoward about her husband. Kate had been right when she told Grey that Ana would never speak out against him. Ana would make excuses for Christian…he was tired. He had a deal going south. He worked too hard. As a group and oft times as just individuals, their visits would come and go. They always left with sadness.

They were not sad when Ana finally left for good. It should have been a sad thing to watch a marriage implode but no. They were just relieved…their hearts finally at ease for Ana's sake. Even Grace and Carrick could find no sympathy in their hearts for their own son.

CHAPTER 39

Ana woke as the car rolled to a stop at the cottage. She looked up at Christian and saw the redness in his eyes. Concerned, she sort to reassure him that she would not try to do an end run around him and Dr. Greene. She knew that would be putting Theo at risk and she would cooperate with the caesarean.

Ryan left the car to give the couple their privacy. He'd never seen Grey cry and it shook him. Perhaps they had received bad news from the doctor.

Christian looked at Ana's worried face. She'd had a major disappointment today and yet she was concerned for him…him, the rat bastard who'd done so much damage to this gentle soul who'd just loved him and given him the only happiness he'd ever had in his life. His eyes brimmed with more tears and his throat tightened. Ana drew him to her, his face buried in her shoulder.

"Christian, everything will be all right. Theo and I will be just fine. Please don't be fearful."

Christian raised his head and gently pressed his forehead against Ana's. "I know, I know." He dabbed at his eyes and blew his nose on his handkerchief. He took her face in his hands and just gazed at her in wonder…and melancholy.

"Ana, do you trust me? I mean, do you trust me with your heart the way you used to?"

Ana looked at her husband for a long moment. He was asking her an immensely difficult question. He was asking her for the trust that he'd broken time and time again. He was asking her if she believed that he'd never break that trust again. How could she answer him?

She could be honest with him. She could only be herself.

"No, Christian. I'm glad that you're with me now…I am. But you've been with me before and then again…not. Perhaps, in time, if we continue on as we are, I'll feel safe again but you've broken me so many times. I didn't want to put up a wall but it just seemed to grow with every heartbreak.

"You've come back to me again but it isn't the first, second or even third time. Only when you think you've lost me, have you returned. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I love you with all that is in me but too many times I've had to crawl my way back to a solid footing after you've knocked all the supports out from under me. Even now, I feel that I'm in danger."

Ana looked at Christian with tenderness and sorrow. Lord knows that she didn't want to hurt him but she had to keep her guard up. It was a difficult way to live…loving someone and yet always wondering when that love would shatter around her. It was all the more difficult because she'd learned that she'd never stop loving him, wanting him, no matter what he did. She'd never be free of him.

Now the tears were slipping down his cheeks. He lowered his head and nodded. Yes, he understood. If he stood any chance at all of winning back her trust, it would be after a long time and many trials. He didn't even know if he was capable of withstanding the hard times ahead. He couldn't in good conscience promise her that she could always trust him from now on so how could he ask it of her?

"There is one thing I've learned, Ana. I have to be with you. I will never leave you or let you leave me again. If you go, I'll follow. That much, I can promise you now. And, maybe someday, we'll both be certain that I'm man enough to be trusted.

"Thank you, baby, thank you so much for letting me back in. I am madly in love with you, you know. As stupid as I've ever been, that has never changed. Now I just need to show you that I not only love you but can love you well."

They sat there in the car, cuddled together, as the day grew late. After some time, they walked down the steps, stopped to kiss under the arbor over the gate and then went inside the cottage that they both now considered home. Ana was quite tired so Christian helped her to the couch and covered her with an afghan. Then he put the kettle on and started their dinner. He felt a contentment come over him as he looked back at his wife sleeping. This was what he had now and it was far more than he deserved.

His pocket buzzed. He thought to ignore it. He was cutting back on work hours but he picked it up to see Taylor's number. He didn't know why but he felt a chill go through him.

"Taylor, what is it?"

"Got a call from Welch. Leila Williams is back in town. She was staying at the Fairmont but when I arrived there today to question her, she'd checked out. I suspect that Elena Lincoln has her stashed somewhere but I haven't been able to find her yet."

"Where is Elena?"

"Her car is gone and no one answers the door. Welch is going through the tapes of street cameras for the last few days so maybe we'll get lucky and pick up her trail. I've already added two guys to the coverts watching the cottage. We're all on high alert. I don't want you to worry too much, sir. We've got you and Mrs. Grey covered." Taylor knew that that last remark was probably just spitting in the wind. Grey would worry anyway.

"Understood. Thank you, Taylor. Give my regards to Welch. Keep me updated. Oh, it may be overkill but keep a close eye on my family, too."

After he finished his call, Christian looked over to Ana and, to his dismay, her eyes were open. He could tell by her expression that she'd heard too much.

CHAPTER 40

As he cradled Ana on his lap, she cried into his shoulder. Normally, Ana would be brave and feisty…ready to do battle with "that hateful old crone" but her hormones and her need to protect Theo left her shaky and fearful.

"Why can't she just leave us be, Christian?" Ana sniffled.

"Lots of reasons…in her mind. She's a dominatrix, for one, and needs to be in total control. She believes that I am a creature of her creation and you have stolen me. She wants to punish me and you. She's lost her business and the bank is foreclosing on her house. Also, I don't believe that she is mentally stable, either.

"I'm so sorry, Ana. She's one more bit of evil I've brought into your life. I haven't been good for you."

Ana kissed him soundly and held his face. "That isn't true, Christian. My life was lonely, loveless and empty before you. My only goal in life was to keep myself safe. That's no way to live. The feelings that I've embraced since meeting you have given me real life. And even at your worst, when I lost all faith in you, I still knew with utmost certainly that I was deeply and truly cherished."

"Ana, I want to make love to you." Christian held his breath. He didn't really expect her to say yes, especially at this stage of her pregnancy.

She smiled. "Got a plan?"

Christian laughed and stood up, carrying Ana into the bedroom. He gently undressed her and laid her down on the bed before disrobing himself. He was as nervous as a virginal bridegroom. He laid down on his side, facing her, and lifted her leg across him. He caressed her breasts. They were so full, a nice surprise. He suckled her nipples. They'd always been so sensitive that many times he could make her come just by playing with them. While his mouth tended to her breasts, his hand leisurely made its way down over her belly and between her legs.

It had been so long that both were hypersensitive to the other's touch. Ana drew her hand through his hair. He groaned with pleasure. He gently massaged her between her legs before pushing two fingers inside of her. It took him just a moment to find that sweet spot that always drove her wild. He applied some pressure and moved his fingers around only to stop just as she was tensing. He wanted to give her more than a simple orgasm. He wanted to bring her to a tsunami, a wild storm of release. Over and over he brought her to the brink and then stopped. She was breathing so hard and her fingers were digging into his shoulders when he finally let her come. She roared out his name again and again.

While she was still in the midst of the storm, he adjusted his position enough to slip inside her. He wanted to thrust hard over and over but didn't know if that would be too much for her so he just let himself feel her. It had been so long. He hadn't even realized how long and how much he missed the soft warmth inside Ana. His orgasm, when it came, swept away all his senses. He didn't know where he was or the time or the day or anything to do with reality. None of it mattered. All that mattered was that he was deep inside home.

"I'm so fat," Ana whispered but Christian didn't hear her. He smashed into her mouth, pressing her head into the pillow and taking all he could of her. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and tried to catch his breath. His heart was pounding…hard. He leaned back and put his hand on her face, looking at Ana for signs of distress. He hadn't expected that their coming together again for the first time in a long time would be so overwhelming.

"Are you all right? Did I hurt you? Was I too rough?" he panted out, his forehead against hers.

"Again," she answered. "This time with your mouth, please." Christian loved that Ana wasn't shy about telling him what she wanted from him. He took this as a sign that she understood that he'd do whatever it took to please her…that he wanted to give her anything.

He moved her gently unto her back and lifted her legs over his shoulders. Oh, she tasted so good. Just as she always had. Something he'd marveled at. He lapped up her juices like honey. He'd never tasted a woman as sweet as Ana. He could have stayed down there all day if not for her screams and his corresponding desperation to be inside of her.

After, he wrapped her in his arms and held her as close as possible. Theo was somewhat in the way, of course, but he was quiet tonight. Maybe they'd worn him out, too. Usually they had talked after making love but tonight there were no words. They just needed to be as close as possible. They both felt all the time they'd lost, all the months of loneliness. They were both confounded that they had managed to go all that time without each other.

At 3 a.m. something woke Christian. He lay quietly, unmoving. For once, Ana was comfortable enough to sleep. He didn't want to take a chance on disturbing her. So, he lay still, listening. Then, carefully, he reached across her body to pick up his phone.

Ryan, check the perimeter.

Already on it, boss. Stand by.

I might just be imagining things.

Are your bedroom curtains open, sir?

No.

Good, I'm going to turn on the lights manually.

Why didn't they go on automatically with you roaming around out there?

Good question.

Suddenly, the lights lit up the house. Christian covered Ana's eyes.

Sir, don't know how but someone got close enough to hit the switch from auto to manual.

However, they didn't get close enough to set off the alarms. There's no one out here now.

The switch is on the light pole. In the a.m. we'll have it moved to the house itself. Go back

To sleep. We have someone on each side of the cottage.

How did they get to the light pole without setting off the sensors? Christian wondered. He just held Ana and listened.

CHAPTER 41

In the morning, Christian woke alone. He jumped out of bed and raced around the little house. Ana wasn't in the kitchen or the bath. He tried to still his panic. Then, through the window, he saw Ana sweeping the porch. He sank, out of breath, onto a chair. When his heart beat settled, he pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and stepped outside. The Spring air felt wonderful. He could smell the early lilacs.

"Ana, what are you doing? You should let me do that." Christian said, taking the broom from her.

"All right," she smiled, setting down into her favorite chair. "I just came out to get the paper and saw all this sand. It wasn't even windy last night."

Christian said nothing. He just swept the sand off of the porch. As he neared the edge, he could make out indentations in the sand that indicated footprints. He looked up to see Eddie on the light pole. Ana followed his gaze.

"Does Eddie know enough about electrical stuff to be messing around up there? And what is he doing?"

"Yeah, Eddie knows what he's doing. Are you hungry? Let's have breakfast. You can have a pancake if you also eat a couple of eggs for protein."

Ana hefted herself out of the chair. "Gee, thanks, Dad."

She walked slowly into the kitchen and started assembling breakfast. Grey took the opportunity to slip next door.

"Baxter?"

"Right here, sir. Ryan's gone back to Seattle to talk with Taylor and sleep. We're fixing the lighting issue and we did a walk around at dawn. Clear footprints from the water to your cottage. I don't think whoever made them is aware that anyone is living next door. Your cottage is all fixed up but ours looks like a dump. The intruder must have rowed in or we'd have heard a motor. We think whoever it was must have come from the north side so that we couldn't see. Our camera went dark around 3 a.m. We thought it was an equipment failure at first."

"Whoever they were, they came and went fast. We've gone over every inch of the exterior of your cottage and found nothing disturbed and no surprises left. I don't think the intruder was prepared for a response."

"Okay. Thank you, Baxter. Carry on."

Christian went back to the house. Ana had surely seen them talking through the kitchen window. When he walked in, she glanced up and said nothing. She knew him well enough to know what he was thinking. Indeed, she'd been expecting this discussion since seeing Dr. Greene.

"I don't want to go back to Escala, Christian."

"Ana.."

"Christian, I know that we're a long way from Seattle General out here but with a scheduled c-section, we won't be surprised, will we?"

He couldn't argue with that. Still, what if Theo decided to come early or what if there were an unforeseen complication? What if Theo got stuck in the birth canal? Christian remembered a horrifying episode of a doctor show on television in which the baby got stuck and the doctors couldn't cut him out and the mother was in screaming agony and it all ended with the mother and child dying.

He had to sit down. He took a deep breath.

"I won't fight with you about this, Ana. And I certainly won't make you go back to Escala. But please consider Grey Manor or the Fairmont Hotel. If Theo decides to come early, we're going to have to drive like a bat out of hell to get you to Seattle General in time. There's traffic. There's the possibility of an accident. At Grey Manor, we'd have an ob/gyn right on the premises. At the Fairmont, we'd have a suite and room service and we'd be just a few blocks from Seattle General."

Ana set a plate of pancakes and eggs down in front of Christian. She then sat down in front of her own plate and began to thoughtfully eat.

"Okay. Fairmont. I don't want to be screaming your name or begging you to fuck me within hearing range of your folks," she giggled.

Christian couldn't believe his luck. He beamed. "Thank you, baby, thank you. Oh, god. I can breathe again."

After breakfast and baths, Christian hastily packed. He wanted to get on the road before Ana could have a change of heart. It was a beautiful spring day. The scent of the water and blooming flowers wafted over the cottage. He hustled Ana into the car as she drew in deep breaths.

"The city won't smell like this," Ana mused as Christian quickly attached her seat belt.

"Go, Baxter. The Fairmont," Christian snapped. Ana laughed. She knew what Christian was thinking. She enjoyed teasing him. "Christian, buckle your own belt, too," she giggled. Christian obeyed and then put his arm around Ana, breathing a sigh of relief.

As they pulled out onto the main highway, Baxter checked the rear view mirror. He knew immediately that they were being followed.

"Sir, I forgot to inform Taylor. Would you mind texting him with our plans?"

Christian looked into the rear view mirror and saw a silent message in Baxter's eyes. He feigned nonchalance as he took out his phone. He smiled at Ana.

"Why don't you look at the water while you can, sweetheart?" Ana obligingly turned her head. Christian looked over his shoulder to the traffic behind them. Yes, he saw it, too. Someone, ineptly, was following them a couple of cars back.

Taylor, just came unto highway. Heading Fairmont. Being followed.

Heading your way now. Will pick up at exit 5. Don't try to lose.

Understood.

"Baxter, take it easy. We're in no hurry. It'll be nice to just look at the water for a while."

"Yes, sir," Baxter responded.

"I can't wait to come home again. I'll so miss this fragrance, this view," Ana murmured.

"We'll be parents before you know it." Christian kissed her head.

"And we are returning to our cottage, Christian?" Ana turned to look her husband directly.

He smiled. "Yes. I told you that I'll go wherever you go. I know, my love, that I am damn lucky that you even want me back. Wait. You do want me back, right?" He held his breath.

Ana smiled at him and kissed his lips. "Well, you are a pretty good kisser…" she giggled. Christian tightened his arm around her. It was more than a physical gesture. It was a promise…to never let go again.

CHAPTER 42

Taylor put his binoculars up to his eyes and carefully scanned the highway, watching for the Mercedes SUV that would be carrying his bosses into the city. When they exited unto the surface road, he would be ready for the vehicle tailing them. He wanted to get a good look at the driver. If his hunch was correct, he'd get his first look at Leila Williams since he'd had to forcefully eject his boss's last sub from the penthouse.

A long and unendurable wail issued from the boss's study. Taylor and Gail, listening, winced. Grey's sub had been coming by every Friday night at 8p.m. for six months. Only, for many weeks now, Grey hadn't been there to welcome her. He'd left a nice piece of jewelry along with a note saying that work had consumed him and he wouldn't be available for that weekend. The expensive jewels softened the blow but Grey's consecutive absences were wearing on Leila. She needed the sexual release of the Red Room and, even more, Grey's lack of attention left Leila feeling quite insecure. She thought that the two had a strong connection. When Grey had requested an extension of their initial three-month contract, Leila believed that she had a good chance at a permanent place in Grey's life. Her ultimate goal was marriage but she would have been delighted to have been collared and have him as her master.

Tonight was the end of their agreement and Leila had convinced herself that Grey would further extend the contract. She sat in a chair in the study, her eyes downward, waiting to hear Grey say that he wanted an indefinite agreement and that he was sorry that work had so consumed him lately. She was so convinced of her importance that his announcement that he was terminating their relationship sent her into a tailspin. Against the rules, her head sprang up and her eyes popped open. She was in shock. He'd told her early on that she was an excellent sub, that all who came before her paled in comparison.

"NOOOOOOOOO! Her scream of anguish was the worst reaction Grey had ever heard from one of his subs. He took her hands in his and tried to explain that she was as good as she'd ever been. She had not failed him. Rather, it was his failure. He'd changed. He no longer wanted a BDSM relationship and intended to turn his playroom into a guestroom.

"NOOOOOOOO! This can't be happening. What's changed you so? I love you!" At that, she had gone too far. The sad and guilty look on Grey's face turned hard.

"I suspected as much, Leila, and you know that attachments are forbidden. I'm moving on."

As Grey explained that he'd secured a position for her at a highly respected art school back east, Leila's ears began to buzz. He wanted her all the way across the country from him? He went on to tell her that her studies and all expenses would be paid by him as a going-away gift. He'd also gifted her at least a half million dollars in jewels that she could sell to set herself up after school. If she decided that she wanted to continue being a sub, he could set up meetings with a couple of good Doms he knew of on the east coast.

All the time that he was describing her extremely generous severance package, Leila heard only 'goodbye'. The buzzing in her head was overwhelming. She begged. She cajoled. She demanded….all to no avail. Grey only seemed to grow more agitated with her. Finally, he called Taylor in. He told Leila that all the clothes and her other belongings would be packed up and delivered to her apartment. He asked Taylor to drive her home and, in a whispered aside, ordered him to immediately change the elevator code.

Leila was hysterical, lying crunched on the floor. Taylor had to pick her up and take her down to the garage where he buckled her in. Upon arriving at the apartment Grey had rented for her, Taylor kindly assured Leila that she was welcome to stay for a short time but that her classes started soon. He handed her an opened ended one-way first-class ticket to Hamden, Connecticut. He wished her well and departed. As he settled in his seat behind the wheel, he breathed a great sigh of relief.

He'd never like Leila. Around his boss, she was obsequious, obedient and unrelentingly cheerful. However, when Grey was in his study between sessions in his playroom, Leila wandered about the house wearing nothing but 6 inch stilettoes. She would stand with her hands on her hips and call for Gail to come serve her…drinks, food, whatever. Even though Gail had weekends off, Leila would delight in using Gail as a 'servant'. If Gail had retired to her quarters, Leila would follow and bang on her door, demanding that a shirt be ironed or a drink be mixed or she needed fresh towels…anything. It gave Leila great pleasure to see how discomfited Gail was by Leila's nakedness.

Leila had poured out her grief to Elena Lincoln who then chastised Christian who then told her that he was in love and had no further need of her services. She stuck around town until the very last minute, watching Grey House or Escala for Christian's comings and goings. She didn't learn much. The deeply tinted windows of his vehicle provided Grey and his company complete privacy. Just before she left town, Elena told her that Grey had a girlfriend. I, thought Leila, was meant to be his girlfriend. As her plane took off, Leila was consumed with confusion, disappointment and hatred. Someday, she told herself, she would resume her rightful place at Sir's side.

As Taylor watched the Mercedes head down the exit, he quickly picked up a sighting of a dull gray sedan. It swung across two lanes and followed Grey down the exit. The driver was a woman. She was wearing a scarf that obscured her hair and large sunglasses that concealed much of her face. Still, Taylor recognized the woman's profile. It was Leila, all right. Damn, he would not allow this harlot to ruin Ana's special day or wound Grey.

Taylor carefully maneuvered his Mercedes into traffic behind the gray sedan. He was quite skilled at surveillance and so was able to follow Leila without being detected. He knew that Grey would be taking Ana to the Fairmont. Taylor needed to divert her, make her think that his bosses were heading for Escala. From there he could follow to her current Seattle bolt hole.

Christian felt his phone vibrate and looked down for the message.

Do not go to hotel. Being followed. Leila. Go to Escala garage until further instructions.

Understood.

"Baxter," he spoke softly to avoid waking Ana, "go to Escala. Just park in the garage for now."

"Yes, sir."

Leila watched as the Mercedes pulled into the garage. Good, she smiled to herself. She knew that place like the back of her hand. She continued on by Escala unaware that she was being followed.

CHAPTER 43

As Taylor followed Leila, Baxter pulled out of the Escala garage and continued on to the Fairmont Hotel. In the rearview mirror, he could see that Mrs. Grey was still sleeping but Mr. Grey's face was tense.

"It's okay, sir. Our tail thinks that we're staying at Escala. Her next guess would be Grey Manor. Taylor is on her now and will find where she's hiding out. You've got a large and highly skilled team protecting you and your family so let us do the worrying."

"I'm trying, Baxter. I'm trying." Grey smiled tightly.

Baxter pulled around to the back of the Fairmont and the staff met the car. With Grey carrying his sleeping wife, select staff escorted the two to a private elevator and their top floor suite. They were unregistered and it was noted on the books that the floor was being renovated. Only a few of the staff would be aware that anyone was occupying the floor and each of those people had already been vetted by Welch. Only two people knew that the couple were the Greys. Every possible precaution had been taken to protect their privacy. Even the elevators had been reprogrammed to stop at the 11th floor and the stairway doors to the 12th were locked.

Christian carried Ana inside and laid her on the bed. Carefully, he undressed her and tucked her in. Then he poured himself a ginger ale and fell heavily into a chair. Leila. Taylor was making every necessary arrangement at the hospital to protect Ana's privacy and her life. Leila was clever, Grey knew. She was also familiar with the ways of the security team and would try to be one step ahead of them. Briefly, Grey considered flying Ana to Portland for the birth but he didn't want to move her around too much so close to Theo's arrival. He would have to trust his team and try to think like Leila. As soon as Ana and Theo were strong enough to travel, he would take them away…perhaps to Europe.

He ached to think that because of his past life and his present as a rich man that he would always have need of security…special arrangements to protect his family. He knew, too, that eventually he would have to have a talk with Ana about their home. The cottage would not suffice if they had more children.

More children. He smiled to himself. To think that he actually wanted more children. He dreamt of holiday gatherings of his children and their cousins running madly through the house. The living room drowning in wrapping paper. Elliot setting up train sets. Mia dressing all the girls in pink tutus. Trying to corral everyone for dinner. The noise!

Once, the thought of all that noise and mess would have curdled his blood and sent him off to the study to hide…preferring the company of Jim Beam to that of his wife and kids. He looked at the reason for the change in his thinking, sleeping a few feet from him. Suddenly, it was too far. He divested himself of his clothing and quietly eased into position next to Ana, reaching his arms around her, kissing her forehead and sighing with contentment.

In the hotel garage, two men patrolled, watching for intruders. One stood by the freight elevator. A man and woman walked the corridor of the 12th floor. Another sat in an office on the main floor, watching security monitors.

All to keep an addlepated young woman from harming three innocents sleeping 12 stories up. Although their jobs might seem tedious, all of the agents were experienced, well-paid and quite conscious that their charges were a young woman and her baby. These were motivated men and women. They'd all had past experience guarding the lives of diplomats, potentates and all manner of less appealing targets. They'd watched as Grey had lovingly carried his sleeping pregnant wife to their room. So, this was personal.

Taylor had followed Leila to Bellevue, the suburban home of both Elena Lincoln and the elder Greys. He wasn't surprised to watch her move her car into one of Elena's garages. He pictured them gleefully discussing their plans over drinks at the kitchen island. He wanted to get closer but he'd seen the outdoor lights go on when the sensors detected Leila's car enter the drive. He couldn't take the chance of alerting the two women that they might have an intruder. He should have thought to bring a parabolic device with him so that he could listen in. He texted Ryan to meet him at Lincoln's with the device asap.

Read your mind, boss. On the way. You're slowing down in your old age, eh?

You're fired as soon as you arrive, a**hole.

Twenty minutes later, both men sat in Taylor's car, laughing at the conversation to which they were listening.

Both women were planning to dress up as nurses to obtain access to Ana's hospital room. Genius, laughed Taylor and Ryan. We'd never see that coming.

The more they drank, the dumber the ideas got. Finally, Taylor set the device to record and he and Ryan settled in to get some rest. A while later, they were both startled awake by the sound of angry voices close at hand.

Elena and Leila were quite drunk and unsteady on their feet as they stood in the driveway screaming at each other. The argument had apparently been going on long enough to rouse the neighbors who'd called the police. As the flashing lights headed their way, Taylor stashed the parabolic and he backed the car up to the Grey driveway at the end of the private lane. He and Ryan listened to the recording.

Elena and Leila had gotten drunker and drunker and dumber and dumber. They'd begun arguing about who would get to keep Grey. Naturally, Leila was surprised to find that Elena thought that once free of Ana, Grey would be hers. Leila told her that she was crazy, a crazy old woman. Things escalated from there.

They'd begun throwing things at each other. Then Elena had tried to throw Leila out of the house and Leila had tried to drag Elena along with her. Once in the driveway, they just screamed nonsense at each other until the police arrived. As the cops tried to stop them from socking each other, the cops themselves took a few blows.

Taylor and Ryan found themselves standing with Grace and Carrick in the driveway, laughing hysterically. A second police carrier arrived and soon the two female combatants found themselves handcuffed and locked in the back seat of the two vehicles on their way to the cop shop for booking. Cops take being personally assaulted quite seriously.

"Well, I guess our surveillance is over for the evening," grinned Taylor.

"Should we turn over our recording of them plotting to kidnap the Grey baby?" asked Ryan.

"Wouldn't be admissible in court," Carrick advised. "However, I'd still alert the police as to their plans. See what they want to do with it."

"What do you bet Elena will be calling you for legal assistance, Cary?" grinned Grace.

"Well, she's tone deaf enough, that's for sure."

After some more chat, Taylor and Ryan politely declined the offer to spend the night at Grey Manor and took off for their homes. Welch would be keeping an eye on things at the station.

Ana and Christian curled together and slept peacefully. Even Theo let his parents be.

CHAPTER 44

The district attorney's office was indeed interested in Elena's and Leila's plans to kidnap the Grey baby. Despite their lawyers' position that the women were drunk and simply fantasying about taking the baby and destroying the Grey marriage, the DA did not take the matter lightly. The fact that Leila had dropped out of art school and flown on Elena's invitation across the country for no other reason than to cause harm to members of one of Seattle's most prominent families was highly disturbing. Even though they'd been stopped before they committed the crime, they could still be charged with conspiring to do so. They were, thus, incarcerated and denied bail.

While Christian and Ana were greatly relieved, they still feared that Elena could use her connections to order someone from her thug-network to do her bidding. They asked that she and Leila be placed in solitary until Theo was born and safely away from the hospital. A DA happy to please the wealthy Greys agreed. He also granted Christian's request to speak with both women.

Thus, two days before Theo's planned birth, Christian found himself sitting in a drab interview room at the local jail, waiting on Elena. He had to ask her what she was thinking. He couldn't believe that the woman he once trusted could go so far to hurt him. He had the same question for his former sub.

He sat at a metal table, waiting. When the door opened, he stood, like a gentlemen would…even though Elena was no lady. She looked at him for a moment before assuming an air of superiority. She looked at her guard and waited for her chair to be pulled out for her. The guard just stared back and then told her that she had 15 minutes. Elena sat down.

"Do you know why I'm here, Elena?" asked Christian evenly.

"I assume that you've come to inquire as to my health and comfort. Neither is good, in a place like this. Your father has refused to represent me so who did you get instead? I would like to leave as soon as possible," she said coldly.

Grey ran his hand through his hair, a gesture that Elena knew to be one of exasperation. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"I assume that you're as shocked as I that Carrick would leave me here to rot."

Grey lowered his head as he shook it. "Elena, we have you on tape making plans to kidnap my son."

Elena guffawed. "Oh, really, Christian. I was drunk. I was angry and hurt after the way you treated me. Of course, I was bound to say anything. You can't possibly believe…."

Before she could finish, Grey's head snapped up, his gray eyes flashing with fury. "Yes, Elena, I could believe that you'd do something so heinous. Leila's been chatting up a storm about your plans. And even if I didn't believe her, I know your character. Tell me. If you'd managed to snatch my baby boy, what were you going to do then, eh? Trade him for my hand in marriage?" Christian laughed derisively.

Elena knew from the loathing in his eyes that Christian wouldn't except excuses. "Would that really have been so bad? You and I together? We were made for each other, my sweet. You might imagine that you and that mousy little thing can be happy together but it won't last. For a time, perhaps, you'll be satisfied but she can't be enough for you. Never. You need your playroom. You need a submissive and you will all your life.

I know you like she never will. I know your cravings, the blackness in your soul. She is only your hope for a normal life, a life of which your mundane relations would approve. You sad, sad thing. All your life you've wanted to be like other people, to be able to feel like the rest of society, to be accepted…but it will never be."

Elena smiled mirthlessly. She was sure that she knew Grey better than he knew himself. He could never be truly at peace without her and all she had to offer him.

Grey stared at Elena impassively. Yet, there was a tiny part of him that clenched in fear. He didn't want to want what she offered but did he? He was not completely convinced that he'd changed for good. Somehow he knew that it would be a battle all his life. All his days he would be that beaten, burned, neglected and starved little boy who needed to hurt someone like he'd been hurt. He knew that he was married to the closest he would ever have to an angel, to that person who could truly save his wretched soul. Was he so damaged that even she would not be enough?

Elena was looking at him as if she knew what he was thinking. And she did. Being able to manipulate Grey was her greatest gift, she thought. He would never be rid of her. And that was why she was able to stand up and ask to be returned to her cell without begging him for help. She would always know that he'd never forget her.

When the guard asked if he wanted to take a break or see Leila immediately, Grey asked for the break. He said that he had to check in on his wife. The guard left the room. Grey sat still. He could hardly put a simple name to the feelings roiling inside of him. He held on to the table edge as if to keep himself from fleeing from this place. As if she could sense his anxiety, his phone rang and it was Ana.

"Hi."

"Have you talked to Elena yet?" Her voice, so soft and filled with concern for him. "Yes. Just finished."

Ana waited. Christian's throat was too tight to speak.

"Honey, she speaks to an insecure child and that child wonders if she's right about him. He is no different from any child. I don't think that we ever quite recover from our youngest selves…good or bad…but we move beyond them. We choose to. Elena never recovered because she never chose to and so she thinks that that is how it is with everyone. She never saw the tremendous strength inside you, the enormity of love you have to give. She couldn't live with herself if she did because she'd finally realize that she lost you long ago."

Christian felt his being lightened. "Ana, I'll never be able to show you how much I love you. I wish I knew how but it's too much, it's too big. It's all of me. I'll spend all my days clinging to you like a love-struck barnacle," he smiled as he listened to her giggle.

Now he was ready to return to Ana but he forced himself to stay to speak with Leila first. He hated her. He mourned for her.

He hardly recognized her when she shuffled into the room. He stood and held out her chair for her. She smiled shyly at his kindness.

"How are you?" he asked. She'd been such a pretty girl, vivacious and spirited…but now…she was gray, skinny. With her skin mottled and marked, she looked like a heroin addict although he knew she wasn't.

"I can't keep anything down." A tear fell down her cheek. "Will you tell me the truth about something, Sir?"

"Of course, Leila. What would you like to know?"

"Elena says that you and your wife are separated. She says that Ana is trying to force you to have a child with her and that you feel trapped. She says that you are desperately unhappy. Is it true?"

Christian looked at Leila closely…trying to determine what she really wanted to hear. However, it didn't matter, he guessed. So, he told her the truth.

"Nothing Elena tells you is ever the truth, Leila. She is so self-deluded that I don't know if she even knows the truth herself. However, I do know that she will only tell others what she wants them to think.

"I'm sorry that I kept the truth from you for so long. All those weeks of saying that I had to work when the truth was that I'd met Ana. I loved her from the first moment but I didn't know if I could live without BDSM. So, I strung you along while I wooed Ana. I apologize for that, Leila. It was unfair and unkind. I wasn't thinking of your feelings. I hope that you can forgive me." He waited.

Leila had been looking at the table top the entire time. Finally, she lifted her eyes and looked straight into his…as if she understood that he was no longer her Dom. She nodded.

"I wasn't a good husband to Ana. I hurt her time and time again but she always forgave me."

"Was it because she liked being Mrs. Grey, because she liked being rich?" Leila asked almost hopefully.

"No, Leila. Ana isn't like that at all. She had never know much love in her life and she'd always tried to be independent to protect herself. My position in society, my money, even my dashing good looks," he chuckled, "meant nothing to her. She stayed because she'd promised me that she would never leave me. She stayed because she loved me."

Leila looked dubious.

"When she became pregnant, I tried to force her to get an abortion. That was too much. She felt that she had to protect our innocent child…that doing so was more important than honoring her vow to never leave me…and so she left…to protect Theo."

Leila's eyes brightened a bit. "You're having a son?"

"Yes," Christian smiled at her and he'd no idea how much that smile meant to her.

"It's been a tough road back but we're okay again and I'll never make the mistake ever again of hurting her. I'm going to be a good father, Leila."

"Yes, I know that you are. You've always been a good man. When Elena told me that you'd be pleased with me for taking your child away and freeing you from your wife, I didn't believe her. That is why we really began to fight. I know that I can't begin to ask your forgiveness for what I thought of doing. I guess that I just really wanted to believe Elena. It was selfish of me. That's all it was. It was very kind of you to come speak with me today. I think that I can find some peace now."

Leila looked up at the guard to indicated that she was ready to return to her cell but Christian stopped her.

"Leila, I'm going to put in a good word for you with the DA and my father will be representing you. When you're ready to return to Hamden or whatever you decide to do, please let my father help you. Leila, you do deserve to have a second chance to live a good life. I know that Ana would agree with me."

Leila was too choked up to speak. She simply looked at Grey as if to memorize the face of the man she loved so much and knew she'd never speak with again. Then she turned and walked out the door.

Christian stayed for a bit. After a while a guard came into the room and asked if there was anything else that Grey wanted. Christian sighed and shook his head. He'd gotten what he came for and maybe a bit more.

EPILOGUE

On May 3rd, a Saturday, Theodore Raymond Trevelyan Grey was born to Ana and Christian Grey. The delivery went smoothly and Theo was a healthy baby. He was a big boy, confirming Dr. Greene's concern that Ana's pelvis would not have been sufficiently wide to allow him safe passage into the world.

For several months, Christian and Ana went on living in their little cottage on the beach. They sold the penthouse and, mostly to keep Gail, Ana agreed eventually to move into a large house in Bellevue. Cottages Are Us refurbished all the remaining cottages but only Ana's was winterized. It was always just hers and she could escape to it whenever she felt the need for some Me time.

Elliot and Kate gifted Grace and Carrick a second granddaughter named Margaret Grace…Maggie. Mia and Ethan gifted them a wedding in their backyard shortly after.

Christian was gob-smacked with overwhelming love the moment he looked into the deep blue eyes of his son. His only problem, thereafter, was how to hold both his wife and son at the same time. His need to touch both was so great. He managed somehow every morning to leave for the office at 8 a.m. and stay put until 5 p.m. Taylor learned to tune him out when he urged him to "drive faster". 'Course, the nagging only worsened once Ana had a baby girl they named Kathleen Grace.

Leila returned to art school in Hamden and with steady counseling, she learned to enjoy life and to love again.

THE END

Oh, Elena? Do you really care? I mean…..oh, okay.

Elena received a sentence of only one year but she couldn't help but make enemies even in that short a time. She got herself shivved in the shower one morning.

Que sera sera.

THE END