Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing
or any of its characters. They belong to Sotsu Agency, Sunrise, etc. I also dont own the song "Could I have this kiss forever".
This story is a "May have/may not happen" songfic
and strictly a Shounen Ai fic, not Yaoi. There's a difference. I won't say any
more. Praises, suggestions and constructive criticism are welcome. Hope you
enjoy reading it the same way I enjoyed writing it.
Song lyrics are in Italic and appear in the center
Song: "Could I have this kiss forever" by Whitney Houston and Enrique Iglesias
Could I Have This Kiss Forever
Over and over I look in your
eyes
you are all I desire
you have captured me
The only thing he
could think throughout the entire fight was the wounded and torn face of his
comrade, the one who always tried to bring even the faintest smile to his lips,
even when he himself felt cold and miserable from what was occurring around
him. And at times he succeeded, his very being beaming when he saw his
otherwise stoic companion's face soften and smile, and even laugh one rare
occasion.
Heero never said this
to him, but he cherished those moments when all he could do was look at his
blue-violet eyes and his angelic appearance and completely lose himself, only
thinking of how it would feel to be able to get close to him, to feel his body
close to his own and to be able to say what he'd suppress for so long.
But instead he did the
cruelest thing he could do and it all but killed him:
"…never will feel that way for you."
He still remembered
everything very clearly, and he wished he didn't: 'Damn my stubbornness and my
cowardice!!!' he thought and he abruptly stopped his retaliating against the
enemy mobile suits and let them attack him, wishing that they would just blow
him up so that he'd never see his love's heartbroken face again. He closed his
eyes and waited for his death until he heard a familiar voice over Zero's
communicator.
"Heero! Heero,
daijobu?" Quatre asked, his voice full of worry. "Heero, snap out of it! There
are only a few suits left!" Heero's eyes opened again and, in his self-rage,
took out his beam cannon and blasted the remaining suits to Hell. Everything in
space suddenly went calm, nothing visible and no sound heard except for
Quatre's cries over the communicator.
"Heero? Heero?"
"I'm all right,
Quatre. Let's go back to Peacemillion."
I want to hold you
I want to be close to you
I never want to let go
'Tonight' he thought, his face resolute. 'Tonight'.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I wish that this night would
never end
I need to know
Duo sat in a chair in front of one of
Peacemillion's multiple control stations, his back slouched, his arms folded
and his bangs hiding his pale and distressed face. His eyes were blank as he
gazed at nothing. He looked at if he were a human sized doll; not even his
breathing was noticeable. And this irritated Wufei even more. He sat up from
his chair and knocked the small table over, leaving a clueless Trowa picking up
the small pieces of the chessboard.
The Shenlong pilot walked up to Duo, who didn't
even budge. Wufei's eyebrow began to twitch. He drew in his breath and…
"What in the name of Hell is wrong with you,
Maxwell?!?!?" he hollered at him. The walls of the Peacemillion seemed to
rumble and the few chess pieces Trowa placed back on the board fell back to the
floor. Duo's face slowly looked up at Wufei's, who was now turning a blood red
from his anger.
"You've been sulking around here for days, barely
saying a word, never less telling a joke or laughing and it's driving me nuts!"
"But Wufei," Trowa said, interrupting his rant,
"weren't you always complaining of how much you hated Duo's, and I quote,
'Incessant, obnoxious and unnecessary blab'?"
Wufei was just about to complain about Trowa's
remark when they saw the all too quiet Shinigami rise from his seat and slowly
walk out of the room as if he were in a trance. Trowa took one of the chess
pieces and rolled it about his fingers and his usually collected face showed a
sign of concern.
"Wufei… I'm worried about him."
Wufei sighed and turned to him, his face with the
same sign of concern. "… me too."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Could I have hold you for a
lifetime
could I look into your eyes
could I have this night to share this night together
could I hold you close beside me
could I hold you for all time
Duo stood in front of the large glass staring out
into space. Outside millions and millions of stars shimmered, some dim, some
with incredible force. There was a colony not far off from where they were
stationed. Duo sighed and bowed his head, trying to cover from anyone that
might pass by him the tears welling up in his large eyes.
Could I… could I have this kiss
forever
could I…could I have this kiss forever, forever?
"Duo no baka" he kept whispering to himself over
and over. "Why the hell did I say that to him? Why?" he asked himself angrily,
his hands forming into fists. He shook all over and looked up again. Memories
started to flood into his angst-ridden mind and he tried desperately to forget
all about that night:
Over and over I've dreamed of
this night
now you're here by my side
you are next to me
Duo lay in the bed with his hands behind his head
looking up at the ceiling. Heero sat in his small desk, his eyes fixed on the
laptop and his fingers running rapidly through the keys. Duo grinned as he
thought of how great Heero was when they were alone. His face would show
emotion, he would open up more to him than any other person.
But what was best was that he actually saw and
heard Heero laugh just a while ago. At that moment he looked so full of life,
so beautiful, so different than when they were fighting. He was actually human.
He thought 'Okay, this is as a good a time as any' and sat up, his gaze only on
the Zero pilot who at that moment had just finished hacking into an OZ file. He
smiled.
"Heero?" Heero turned in his chair to face him,
leaving his laptop on. "What is it, Duo?" he said softly. Duo swallowed.
"Heero, I…well, you've been such a great friend to me over this short time" he
said, looking deeply into his cobalt blue eyes. "You too, Duo. For the first
time… I actually knows what it fells to have made a friend," he said, smiling.
Duo almost jumped from joy at this but fought to stay seated and continued.
"And I never knew how great a person you could be.
Heero, I... uh..."
"Hai?"
I want to hold you and touch
you taste you
and make you want no one but me
"Heero, I love you." He looked down to the floor
blushing but with a feeling that a huge weight had finally been lifted and that
he finally had the courage to say what he wanted to say for so long. But when
he looked up to Heero, that feeling went away. He had paled and the softness in
his face was gone, replaced by his usual expressionless gesture. "Heero? Did
you hear what I-"
"I heard what you said. You don't know what you're
talking about, Duo."
Duo felt pain rising throughout all his body, then
that pain quickly turned to anger. He stood up angrily and looked at Heero in
the eye. "How can you say that? Its what I feel for you! I've felt like this
for such a long time and I.." "You what?" Heero asked, standing as well.
"Heero…don't you…?" he stammered, his hurt eyes welling up with tears.
"Duo… I don't feel that way and I never will."
This was the final blow to the braided pilot. His hands dropped and his lips
trembled slightly, his tears sliding down his pained face.
"Demo…but what you said…"
"Duo, you misinterpreted what I said. I'm your
friend and nothing more. No matter how you want it, I'll never will feel that way for you."
Duo let the tears in his eyes flow down his face
and with his heart smashed into a million pieces, he slowly walked back to his
room.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I wish that this kiss could
never end
oh baby, please
Heero stepped out of the cockpit of Wing Zero and
was greeted by Howard, who was looking at the gundam through his sunglasses.
"Oi, Heero. Looks like you let those OZ guys get
the best of ya today, ne?" he said chuckling. "Don't worry; it'll be fixed in a
couple of days. Just try to be more careful next time, will ya?" Heero nodded
with his back to him and kept walking, his mind focused on the one person that
he only cared about now.
Quatre watched him make his way out of the hangar
and sighed. He went in the opposite direction to one of the control rooms,
where he saw Trowa and Wufei playing chess. Trowa looked up at him and shot him
a faint smile. He then looked back to his game and his eyes widened as he saw
the move the now smug looking Wufei had made.
"I believe that's checkmate, Barton." Trowa arched
his eyebrow a bit surprised then simply began to put the pieces back in order.
Quatre looked around the room, and then sat in front of the two.
"Oi, where's Duo?"
"He was here a while ago, sulking as he's been doing
the last damn days" Wufei replied, taking the now one of the arranged pieces
and moving it about the board.
"Then Wufei screamed at him and he left without
saying a word," Trowa added, getting a glare from Wufei. "He had been sitting
there the whole day. He didn't even get up to eat. Strange…" he trailed off,
turning his gaze from Quatre to the chess board.
"I tell you," Wufei commented as he took his
katana from the floor and began to polish it, "that Maxwell has some real
personality problems."
The other two pilots looked up at him, each with
one eyebrow arched. Wufei looked at them. "What?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Could I hold you for a lifetime
could I look into your eyes
could I have this night to share this night together
Heero walked down the long hall, his nervousness
growing with each step he took towards Duo's room. Everyone who passed by him
wondered what could be wrong with him but he didn't notice. He turned to the
right into another hall, this one a bit darker than the other and solitary; his
heartbeat was the only thing he heard. He finally reached Duo's room and stood
in front of the door for what seemed an eternity.
'You cant back out now' he mentally said to
himself as his hand tensely reached up for the button, then dropped. 'Coward…
just touch it and do what you have to do.' He nodded and touched the button,
letting the door open and completely illuminate the dark room.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Could I hold you close beside
me
could I hold you for all time
could I…could I have this kiss forever
could I…could I have this kiss forever, forever?
Duo closed the door to his room and plopped down
on the bed face down. His entire body and mind were tired; he hadn't eaten
almost anything since what happened and his eyes ached so much from crying that
all he could do was keep them closed and try to fall asleep as fast as he
could. He wanted to forget everything. But he couldn't. A mass of thoughts
danced and raced crazily inside his head, making it even harder to sleep.
He turned on his back and stared through his hurt
eyes at the darkness all around him. 'Its just like that night. Except…' he
turned his head to the side, hoping to see the glow from the laptop, see him
seated on the chair, completely engrossed into his work. But he saw nothing except
the eternal darkness that surrounded him and that would keep him in darkness
for the duration. Only the soft glow of the moon that shone from his small
window could save him.
And as he grabbed the edge of his pillow with his
hand and squeezed it, his eyes closing lowly and letting out a sigh of
hopelessness and surrender, the door slowly opened and in the flood of light
that lit up the room, his struggling eyes managed to see a slim figure
standing.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I don't want any night to go by
without you by my side
Heero entered the blinding white room and closed
the door. He let his eyes slowly get accustomed to the dim light and, as he
looked around he saw the slender body of his loved one sitting up slowly in his
bed, his face one of surprise, sorrow and hope all in one.
'Duo…'
Duo slowly stood, trying hard to balance his
exhausted body, as if he heard him calling him. He took a few steps towards
him, not really believing that he was there until the light that shone on his
face proved it. Heero also moved towards him until they were both staring
deeply into each other's eyes.
'Heero…'
Heero couldn't resist the face of his love so
close and yet so far; Duo's eyes full of confusion, his small, alluring lips
parting slightly as if to say something, his hands trembling. He quickly took a
step forward until their faces were only inches from each other. Duo could feel
Heero's hot breath against his face, his heart stating to beat fast from the
closeness of their bodies.
Heero's hand reached out and slowly touched Duo's
soft face. He wondered how it would feel to finally be able to touch him, and
now that he did, he never wanted to let go. Duo's entire body trembled as he
finally felt his hand on him, letting the feeling completely pass through every
vein in his body. An overwhelming feeling came over the two. "Heero, I…"
I just want all my days
spent being next to you
"No, Duo," he almost whispered as he touched Duo's
lip with his other hand to silence him, "its my turn to say something. I… since
that first time I saw you that day, I've felt something for you… something
unknown to me that I couldn't comprehend. I completely forgot about my mission,
the colonies, the Earth, everything and I only saw you looking at me with those
defiant but beautiful eyes. Then that moment passed and you shot me," he said,
a faint smile appearing on his lips. Duo laughed quietly.
"Gomen nasai."
"Its all right. But afterwards, when you freed me
from that facility… you offered your friendship to me yet you didn't know me.
And even though I never thanked you and just took you as another obstacle that
prevented me from completing my mission, I was wrong. I only wanted to see you
more and more every time we had to part ways; worry grew inside me for your
safety each time we went out to fight and selfishness grew in me. I wanted to
have you just for myself and to never have to share you."
"Heero…"
"Duo, what I said to you that night couldn't have
been farther from the truth," he said as he grabbed Duo's cherubic face with
both his hands and drew even closer, their noses touching. "Duo I…"
Spent being next to you
"Duo, I just want to tell you…"
"Hai?"
Live for just loving you
"Duo, I… I…" 'Just fucking tell him, you baka!'
And baby, oh by the way
"I love you!" he blurted out, feeling the blood
rush up to his cheeks. Duo's face brightened, the anguish in his mind and heart
completely disappearing, his eyes full of tears of joy. He reached up and put
his hands over Heero's, grasping them tightly.
"Heero…"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Outside the room stood Quatre, his ear up to the
door, his face filled with wonder. Trowa and Wufei stood behind him, both with
their hands folded. Quatre's expression softened and then turning to the two
pilots he said, "Lets leave them alone for now" and walked past them. The two
looked at each other, shrugged and followed.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Could I hold you for a lifetime
could I look into your eyes
could I have this night to share this night together
They gazed at each other, ignoring everything
around them and as the soft light of the moon shimmered more radiantly than
ever, they slowly leaned closer and let their yearning lips meet each other's
for the first time. All their troubles, their thoughts, everything disappeared
with the darkness as they kissed; their eyes closed tight and the pounding of
their hearts growing more and more intense with every second that passed. Duo's
hands let go of his lover's and wrapped them around his neck, leaning more into
their kiss and feeling himself get weaker.
They finally parted, Heero still holding Duo's
face closely to his own. Duo smiled at him and suddenly his knees gave in to
his weak body. Heero instinctively put his arms around his small waist and pull
him into the bed, lying down beside him. He closed his grasp on Duo, bringing
him closer to him and buried his face into his neck, feeling the long strands
of chestnut hair tickle his face. He closed his eyes.
Could I hold you close beside
me
could I hold you for all time
could I… could I have this kiss forever
Duo turned to his side, his long hair tangling
around his face and gave his love a quick kiss on the lips and hid his face
into Heero's chest. A low rumbling sound was heard and Heero's eyes snapped
open and looked at Duo.
"What was that?" he asked. Duo let out a sheepish
smile and blushed a little.
"Heero… I'm hungry." Heero let out a sigh of exasperation and shook his head. He
pulled Duo close to him and buried his face into the soft locks of hair. He let
out a muffled laugh.
"Duo no
baka."
Could I…
Duo
smiled and closed his eyes. "I love you too, Heero."
Could I have this kiss forever?
*~*~*~* Owari *~*~*~*
