Mine Own, Hate Me
Subtitled: Why Her, Not Me
By Jeanette Lockhart
Disclaimer: I OWN PASSIONS! Of course, this is just some sick demented world in
which everything is a manifestation of my imagination and will...
A/N: This time, from Gwen's POV. ^angst is my thing^ hehe... It's also not that
great... but once again I'm working on more than one fic at once...
You all hate me.
Well, technically, I suppose it's potential hate, since you'd despise me if you ever
found out what I'm doing to get Ethan back.
I love him. Enough to let him stay with that lying, scheming, manipulative bitch
Theresa, if she could truly make him happy. I love him that much, and more. But
the truth is, Theresa is a fake, a pretending... I won't even go there. Ethan can
be much more, so much more ... well, happy with me. I sound redundant I know,
but it's not my fault she came and stole him from right under my nose.
Still, somehow I don't hate that girl. I hate the fact that she took my fiancé from
me, but I don't actually hate her. We both have Ethan in common. I can't blame
her for wanting him, after all, he is perfect, absolutely perfect...
"Gwen? What're you doing here?" I looked up from the magazine I had been
"reading". The BookCafé had become even more crowded since I had arrived that
morning. Ethan stood in front of me, a smile on his face. I wondered if it was
physically possible to melt from looking in his eyes...
"Ethan!" I hadn't noticed him come up to me. I didn't even have to force a smile on
my face, it came naturally. I still love you so much... I stood up, and wrapped my
arms around him in a hug. He felt so good there... I heard Ethan gasp in surprise,
and I let him go.
"Can't I give a friend a hug?" That wasn't a complete lie. He was more than a lover,
he was also a friend, confidant, a partner, and much more...
He just laughed nervously. He was probably thinking about what Theresa would
think if she saw. Speaking of her, she walked up to us, and slipped her arms
around his waist, almost protectively, I noticed. Then things seemed to move
in slow motion. Learning over, Ethan placed a kiss in Theresa's hair, and when
he attempted to pull away, she snaked an arm around his neck and pushed his lips
back on her own. I couldn't stay and watch the two of them so happy together.
Tears stung in my eyes and threated to spill.
"Um, excuse me, I was just getting ready to leave --" Without waiting for them to
reply, I quietly walked away, shoving the dog-earred magazine on the rack on my
way out the door. I vaguely remember Ethan calling after me, probably afraid he'd
hurt my feelings or something. Not that he hadn't. But hurt I could take... I
thought of myself as pretty strong on the inside. But I wasn't hurt, I was just
betrayed... I don't deserve this. No one does.
I have asked myself this umpteen times before, and I asked myself again: Why her,
and not me? It wasn't that she was more beautiful than me; Ethan was not that
superficial, and neither am I. Did she have a purer soul? What did I do to deserve
having him, only to have him ripped from my arms all too soon? All the questions
hurt my head. Taking a deep breath, I tried to clear my mind before it resulted in
a migrain.
I have contemplated suicide. That would, however, be the easy way out, and I'm a
fighter; always have been, always will. So I'm going to fight for my Ethan. Yes,
MY Ethan. Mine. You were, and you will be again, and this time, forever...
You all just watch. In the name of God, I, Gwen Hotchkiss, will make Ethan mine
once more...
And then, Theresa Lopez Fitzgerald, you can hate me all you want.
Subtitled: Why Her, Not Me
By Jeanette Lockhart
Disclaimer: I OWN PASSIONS! Of course, this is just some sick demented world in
which everything is a manifestation of my imagination and will...
A/N: This time, from Gwen's POV. ^angst is my thing^ hehe... It's also not that
great... but once again I'm working on more than one fic at once...
You all hate me.
Well, technically, I suppose it's potential hate, since you'd despise me if you ever
found out what I'm doing to get Ethan back.
I love him. Enough to let him stay with that lying, scheming, manipulative bitch
Theresa, if she could truly make him happy. I love him that much, and more. But
the truth is, Theresa is a fake, a pretending... I won't even go there. Ethan can
be much more, so much more ... well, happy with me. I sound redundant I know,
but it's not my fault she came and stole him from right under my nose.
Still, somehow I don't hate that girl. I hate the fact that she took my fiancé from
me, but I don't actually hate her. We both have Ethan in common. I can't blame
her for wanting him, after all, he is perfect, absolutely perfect...
"Gwen? What're you doing here?" I looked up from the magazine I had been
"reading". The BookCafé had become even more crowded since I had arrived that
morning. Ethan stood in front of me, a smile on his face. I wondered if it was
physically possible to melt from looking in his eyes...
"Ethan!" I hadn't noticed him come up to me. I didn't even have to force a smile on
my face, it came naturally. I still love you so much... I stood up, and wrapped my
arms around him in a hug. He felt so good there... I heard Ethan gasp in surprise,
and I let him go.
"Can't I give a friend a hug?" That wasn't a complete lie. He was more than a lover,
he was also a friend, confidant, a partner, and much more...
He just laughed nervously. He was probably thinking about what Theresa would
think if she saw. Speaking of her, she walked up to us, and slipped her arms
around his waist, almost protectively, I noticed. Then things seemed to move
in slow motion. Learning over, Ethan placed a kiss in Theresa's hair, and when
he attempted to pull away, she snaked an arm around his neck and pushed his lips
back on her own. I couldn't stay and watch the two of them so happy together.
Tears stung in my eyes and threated to spill.
"Um, excuse me, I was just getting ready to leave --" Without waiting for them to
reply, I quietly walked away, shoving the dog-earred magazine on the rack on my
way out the door. I vaguely remember Ethan calling after me, probably afraid he'd
hurt my feelings or something. Not that he hadn't. But hurt I could take... I
thought of myself as pretty strong on the inside. But I wasn't hurt, I was just
betrayed... I don't deserve this. No one does.
I have asked myself this umpteen times before, and I asked myself again: Why her,
and not me? It wasn't that she was more beautiful than me; Ethan was not that
superficial, and neither am I. Did she have a purer soul? What did I do to deserve
having him, only to have him ripped from my arms all too soon? All the questions
hurt my head. Taking a deep breath, I tried to clear my mind before it resulted in
a migrain.
I have contemplated suicide. That would, however, be the easy way out, and I'm a
fighter; always have been, always will. So I'm going to fight for my Ethan. Yes,
MY Ethan. Mine. You were, and you will be again, and this time, forever...
You all just watch. In the name of God, I, Gwen Hotchkiss, will make Ethan mine
once more...
And then, Theresa Lopez Fitzgerald, you can hate me all you want.