Title: A Measure of Happiness
Author: Valerie
Disclaimer: All characters owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox, etc. I own nothing.
Summary: More post-Giftage. This is essentially a B/S romance (with sex, of course), but also will eventually deal with grander themes of good and evil. Maybe.
Rating: R for adult concepts, language and semi-descriptive sex.
Spoilers: Through the end of Season 5
Feedback: Yes please!
Distribution: Sure.
Author's note: The title of this chapter refers to the song of the same name by Joni Mitchell.
Chapter 8: This Flight Tonight
Buffy stood in her doorway, squinting in the midday sunlight as Giles' red sports car pulled into the driveway. He hopped out and trotted up the walk towards her.
"All ready to go, Buffy?"
"Yeah. My bags are in the foyer," she indicated.
Giles took one look at the volume of baggage and groaned. "You know, Buffy, we're only going to be gone for two weeks, have you packed every item of clothing that you own?"
"Hardly," she said, picking up the first of the bags and heading for the car.
Once they were on the road to the airport, Buffy began yawning uncontrollably. Giles glanced at her questioningly. "Sorry, I just didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night," she said in answer to his look.
"Oh? Did you and Spike see a lot of action last night?"
"What?" Buffy exclaimed.
"On patrol. Was there a lot of demonic activity?"
"Oh. Oh. Yeah. Tons of that." Buffy exhaled, glad that Giles had to keep his eyes on the road and probably couldn't see how furiously she was blushing.
They arrived at the airport without incident and soon were boarding the plane. Buffy sat next to the window and Giles, who immediately pulled out a book and started reading, sat next to her. Since Buffy had woken up with a start that morning, the hours had passed in a flurry of packing and preparation for the trip. She really hadn't had the time to think about what had happened with Spike last night. Now, she could think of nothing else.
He had been right. It had been a lot more than nice. He did have over a hundred years of experience, she thought, trying not to think about the insane vampire with whom most of that experience had been. Or of Harmony. Or the robot. When it came to Spike's sex life, pretty much every train of thought went somewhere that she really didn't want to go. Well, Buffy, that's what you get for taking up with another vampire. She flinched involuntarily. That was what really bothered her; had Riley been right? Was she attracted to a darkness that she couldn't find in humans? First Angel, then that stupid thing with Dracula, now Spike. Spike had told her what seemed a lifetime ago (It was a lifetime ago, dummy, you died, remember?) that there was heat and desire between them. Maybe I've been attracted to him all along and I just couldn't see it. She sighed, more confused than ever.
"You're awfully quiet, Buffy. Is everything all right?"
She looked at Giles, smiling ruefully. "I'm just nervous about this council business," she replied. It wasn't a lie, exactly, although the Watcher's Council had been the furthest thing from her mind.
"Understandably. But I promise that I won't let them hurt you. I wouldn't even have encouraged you to go, but I really do think that this time they do have your best interests at heart. Well, and theirs too, of course. Besides, I thought a trip, a, a vacation, might be nice for you."
"Actually, yeah, it will. I do need some ... distance from everything going on in Sunnydale."
Giles looked away from her. "I feel guilty, leaving you and returning to England. I feel like I've abandoned you. It's just that after I lost you," he said, swallowing hard, "I couldn't stay in Sunnydale. I tried, for the others' sake, but then Dawn moved in with your father, Spike stopped being overtly suicidal, and Willow and Xander both had someone in their lives to support them. I just needed to –"
"I know." She took his hand. "It's OK."
"You were, you are, like a daughter to me, Buffy. Losing you was the hardest thing I ever faced. Harder than six apocalypses," he said, smiling an ironic smile.
Buffy put her arms around Giles' neck and hugged him. "Thank you." She pulled away and looked him in the eye. "I'm happy for you and Olivia. I want you to be happy. So don't you dare think of coming back to the Hellmouth," she scolded, "except to visit."
"All right. So, I didn't have a chance to ask you, how is the training with Spike going?"
"Fine. Fine," she said quickly, breaking eye contact. "He was right, he knows my fighting style really well, and he's able to point out the weaknesses in it. I'm making quick progress, I think."
"Good. I must say, he is a mystery to me."
"Yeah. He's a mystery, all right."
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Spike kissed her gently, tenderly touching her cheek. She looked up into his blue eyes as he moved above her in bed. She moaned with pleasure. "I love you," he said, and she closed her eyes, drowning in him. She opened her eyes, and looked into his yellow ones. She wanted him to consume her. He lowered his head to her neck and she felt his fangs rip into her skin. He drank...
Buffy started awake, instinctively reaching a hand up to her neck. Just a dream, she thought, her heartbeat slowing a little. She looked at Giles, who was sleeping as well, his head leaning over to one side and a bit of drool in the corner of his mouth. Buffy unfastened her seat belt and gingerly climbed over him to go to the bathroom.
In the tiny airplane bathroom, she splashed cool water on her face, looking at herself in the mirror. This was not good, having these twisted sex-vampire dreams. She hadn't had one of them since Angel, and she couldn't say that she'd missed them. What have I done? she wondered. After everything I went through with Angel, after all the heartache and angst, I've gotten involved with Spike. Spike, who had a sex-bot made to look like her. Spike, who thought he could prove his love to her by chaining her up and staking Drusilla in front of her. Spike, whom, if he ever got that chip out of his brain, she might have to kill.
She shook her head, trying to clear it. She should stop comparing this ... thing with Spike to what she'd had with Angel. It's not like she was in love with Spike. She'd just let her hormones get the better of her, that's all. It had been a really long time since she'd been with anyone, and Spike had been there, all sexy and needy. It's not like it had to happen again; in fact, it was almost certainly for the better if it didn't. He was her training and patrolling partner, and sex complicated everything. Running her hands through her hair, Buffy exited the bathroom and headed back to her seat.
Maybe she was worrying about it for nothing. Wasn't it all about the conquest for him anyway? Maybe by the time I get back to Sunnydale he will have completely lost interest in me, she thought, but deep down she seriously doubted it.