(This is probably the only song fic I'll ever do. I just like this song a lot. It's really sad, and if you can, download it and listen to it. I think it's called Looking In by Mariah Carey.)
She walked into the bathroom and dimmed the lights to the lowest setting possible. She likes the dark better. It suits her more...
~ Who lives inside the Golden World ~
It's hard to believe, I know. For her to like the dark, I mean. Someone who's part of such a warm and caring family. A family that's stuck together no matter what the hard times brought, or even how long they lasted. A family with so much love...
~ But don't believe ~
~ That's all there is to see ~
Love. She never really knew what it actually felt like.
~ You'll never know the real me ~
Yes, she'd been in love. For as long as she could remember. What was his name again? Oh. Right. Miguel. The name that had caused her so much pain. Ironic, isn't it? Her best friend. The cause of all her pain.
~ She smiles through a thousand tears ~
~ And harbours adolescent fears ~
To be fair, it wasn't all his fault. It takes two people to form a consensual relationship. Something she never really understood, I guess. If only... If only she could change the past. Set it right, so that she had never come. It was all her fault. Her own cousin. Her own flesh and blood. Miguel's one and only. If only she'd never come...
~ She dreams of all ~
~ That she can never be ~
~ She wades in insecurity ~
~ And hides herself inside of me ~
All her hopes and dreams. Gone. Without Miguel, she had no reason for being. For breathing. At least... not in this world. Not in her world. It was too wrong. It was too dark...
~ Don't say she takes it all for granted ~
~ I'm well aware of all I have ~
~ Don't think that I am disenchanted ~
She'd never been a selfish girl. He was the only thing she'd ever desired. But he was a desire that she now knew she could never have. Miguel. Her only reason for being. For breathing. For living...
~ Please understand ~
Walking over towards the sink, she couldn't help but stare at her reflection in the mirror overhead. There was just enough light to see it. It looked tired and sad; lonely, and dead. It wasn't who she wanted to be. Her life was full of pain now, and she wanted it to end. It was just too much...
She looked down and pulled open a drawer that contained a few stray razorblades. She picked one up, lifted it towards her face, and carefully flicked off the small plastic lid that protected it. Her attention shifted back towards the mirror. Her eyes had begun to form tears in them, each one slowly sliding down the side of her cheeks and onto the counter below. Then she took the blade and carefully placed it on her wrist. She had to stop her body from shaking, or else she would have dropped it.
Slowly but thoroughly, the razor made its way from one end of her wrist to the other, causing her to yelp in pain. She paused for a moment and studied what she'd just done. Then, before the pain worsened, she did it again; this time on her other wrist.
Glancing down, she saw the blood begin to spill out. The razor fell into the sink, leaving a small trail behind, circling around the drain. Her breath was becoming hard and uneasy, her legs unsteady. She fell to the floor in a small puddle of blood. She laid there for a few minutes on her back, staring at the ceiling. The last thing she'd ever see...
~ It seems as though I've always been ~
~ Somebody outside looking in ~
~ Well here I am, for all of them to bleed ~
~But they can't take my heart from me ~
~ And they can't bring me to my knees ~
Her body may have died that day, but her spirit was dead long before.
~ They'll never know the real me... ~