Author: Deatman
Genre: Humor
Rating R: Warning- This fic contains many uses of the F word and other obscenities, crude sexual comments, and racist comments. If you find any of this offensive, please do not read.
Author's note: I do not own the right to Gundam Wing or the Characters listed in this story.
Duo Maxwell sat at his computer booting up his instant messenger. After a long day, he decides to see if there is anyone he can talk to. He runs a search and finds some guy named "1337 r0x0rs!"
Duo: Whazzup?
1337 r0x0rs!: nutn j00?
Duo: what?
1337 r0x0rs!: w00t! U no mean w00t I say j00?
Duo: Okay, I can't understand a damn thing you are saying
1337 r0x0rs!: w00t! I ownz j00 d00d. Fuk u.
Duo: did you just say fuck you?
1337 r0x0rs!: ir0x0r d00d.fuk off muth fuka.u sux00rs.
Duo: why don't you speak some fuckin' english!
1337 r0x0rs!: ispeak engli but j00 too fuckn dumb to understn
Duo: you must have an iq of 2, you slimy piece of shit.
1337 r0x0rs!: fuk u
Duo: you cant even spell fuck right asshole.(Duo was starting to get angry, ignoring his typing)
1337 r0x0rs!: suk me balls
Duo: man, youre pissin me off now.
1337 r0x0rs!: hahai rulz@@111!!!!
Duo: all that I came here for was a conversation buti meet some fuckin moron instead
1337 r0x0rs!: iownz j00 d00d!@!!11
Duo: r0x0rs sux00rs mother fux00rs. W00t! J00? What kind of fucked up monkey shit language is that
1337 r0x0rs!: betern yer langage fukr.
Duo: Aw shit i'm outta here fuck you!
1337 r0x0rs!: suk coc mutha lolasrtttgdghhh@4798
Duo punches the monitor and hurts his knuckles. His closes the instant messanger then storms off in a tirade laced with F words.
Later, Heero Yuy comes to the computer to try out this "instant messanger" thing. He had been shown how to use it, but he did not know why people would want to talk to others on a computer. He ran a search and found some guy named "iamadisgruntledpostalworker".
Heero: hi
iamadisgruntledpostalworker: woah, hey man. How's it goin' tonight?
Heero: fine
iamadisgruntledpostalworker: woah man that's good cuz all day I get fucked around by everyone y'know.
Heero: oh?
iamadisgruntledpostalworker: yeah man holy shit they make me slave all day and shit for
only a few fuckin dollars a day y'know?
Heero: hmm
iamadisgruntledpostalworker: man, noone respects us people that deliver the goddam mail. They think they can just step all over us y'know?
Heero: right
iamadisgruntledpostalworker: man, I can't take this fuckin shit anymore. I gotta do somethin.
Heero: I see
iamadisgruntledpostalworker: I think I gotta end it man, give em what they deserve
Heero: right
There is a pause for a few moments...
iamadisgruntledpostalworker: hey what the fuck is your problem man? Have you any compassion.
Heero: oh?
iamadisgruntledpostalworker: hey fuck you man.
Heero: right
iamadisgruntledpostalworker: no fuck you!
Heero: I see
iamadisgruntledpostalworker: FUCK YOU!
Heero: oh?
iamadisgruntledpostalworker: That's it i'm gonna take my shotgun to work tomorrow, you'll see.
Heero: have fun
Heero then closed the messenger and walked away.
Later on Trowa Barton came to it and decided to log on. He found a guy called "Woahmang"
Woagmang: hi
Trowa: ...
Woahmang: hello?
Trowa: ...
Woahmang: hey do you talk?
Trowa: ...
Woahmang: what the hell?
Trowa: ...
Woahmang: I'm gonna leave if you don't talk
Trowa: ...
Woahmang: What's wrong with you, are you fucking dumb?
Trowa: ...
Woahmang: are you a gay or something.
Trowa: I am not gay. Do not insult those people.
Woahmang: so now he speaks. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Trowa: ...
Woahmang: hey, speak up
Trowa: ...
Woahmang: you gay
Trowa: i'm warning you
Woahmang: ooooohhhhhhh
Trowa: ...
Woahmang: man, i'm outta here. If I met you in real life I would stomp on yer fuckin face wit my combat boots
Trowa then exits the messenger and leaves silently.
Yet again someone comes to the messenger. This time it is Quatre Winner. He wants to talk to someone intellectual and friendly. He finds someone named "Iraqi killa"
Quatre: hello
Iraqi killa: yo
Quatre: so what is happening?
Iraqi killa: oh, just hanging my nazi flags around.
Quatre: I see...
Iraqi killa: yeah, you gotta make sure them iraqis or anyone else except the fit take over
Quatre: umm, where do you live?
Iraqi killa: somewhere. Where do you live.
Quatre: well I was from Saudi Arabia
Iraqi killa: what, you're one of those iraqis!
Quatre: no no, I am arabian
Iraqi killa: I shouldve known you were one of them that fucked up the US
Quatre: what?
Iraqi killa: you heard me motherfucker. Git yer ass outta here.
Quatre: I told you I was arabian
Iraqi killa: I can't stand your kind, always fuckin someone up.
Quatre: Listen! I said I was arabian! And what do you have against the iraqis? What did they ever do?
Iraqi killa: fuck u
Quatre then starts to lose his temper
Quatre: look you stupid redneck skinhead son of a bitch, why the hell are you so racist?
Iraqi killa: ohoho!
Quatre: I usually don't say this, but FUCK YOU SKINHEAD PIGFUCKER!
Quatre then closes the instant messager, wondering how someone could be so moronic and racist. Sheesh.
Last but not least Chang Wufei comes and enters a search into the messenger. He finds someone named "Mensuck"
Menuck: hi
Wufei: hi
Mensuck: are you a man?
Wufei: yes
Mensuck: you are?
Wufei: yes, is there a problem?
Mensuck: I'm a woman, and I think men are pigs.
Wufei: what? Injustice!
Mensuck: oh shut the fuck up you chauvinist!
Wufei: greater INJUSTICE! I will not be spoken to like that by a woman.
Mensuck: you don't know shit about how I can talk to you.
Wufei: (now with caps lock on) INJUSTICE!
Mesuck: yes, we all heard that.
Wufei: YOU WILL PAY!
Mensuck: how? Are you gonna fart your way over here and use the gas like a jetpack.
Wufei: SILENCE!
Mensuck: oh ya, fuck you
Wufei: I WILL HAVE JUSTICE!
Mensuck: suuuuuuuure you will
Wufei: I WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN BY MY MIGHTY HAND!
Mensuck: awww, the baby's mad
Wufei: I WILL HUNT YOU!
Mensuck: ya, like that'll fucking happen
Wufei then angrily closes the messenger and gets into his mobile suit to hunt down the perpetrator that has insulted his honor.
So ends an episode of the zany discussion the boys may have when you are not around to see it.