I apologise for my awful story, "Don't leave me." I will try and make it up to you with this, "I hope it will be funny" fic. Don't flame plz!
Monica: Do you know what we haven't done in ages?
Chandler: Two years ago I would have known, but now I'm not sure...what haven't we done in ages?
Monica: We haven't gone to visit my mom.
Chandler: You mean my in-laws?
Phoebe: What's so wrong with that?
Chandler: NO guy likes his in-laws! Don't you know that?
Monica: Oh please Chandler. I haven't seen Dad in ages. Last time we went to visit he was ill...and the time before that...and the time before that...
Monica: Oh! They don't like you.
Chandler: And the smart blue-eyed lady wins 100 points!
Monica: But why don't they like you?
Chandler: Well...umm...
Joey: He killed their budgie.
Chandler: Joey!!!
OPENING SONG
Monica: Yes mom...no mom...he's very sorry...yeah okay.
Chandler: What?
Monica: She wants to speak to you.
Chandler: Uh oh, I'm in big trouble aren't I?
Monica: No, they want to ask you a favour.
Ross: Monica, what's the difference between icing sugar and castor sugar?
Monica: You can make icing with icing sugar.
Ross: And what about castor?
Rachel: You can't.
Ross: Oh.
Joey: Look Phoebe!
Phoebe: What?
Joey: Look, I reach for the saucepan...but I can't reach it from where I'm standing and...look...it grows a huge handle!
Phoebe: Joey, I've seen it a million times before.
Chandler: Yes...ok...bye.
Chandler: They want me to look after their new budgie!
Monica: What? You'll kill that too!
Chandler: It's to prove that I am capable of looking after a pet.
Monica: How long for?
Chandler: A week.
Monica: The poor thing won't survive a day!
Chandler: Thanks for the faithfulness Mon.
Monica: No problem. Now, where are we going to keep it?
Chandler: Outside!
Joey: No way! The bird will die!
Monica: For once, he's right, and cleverer than you are. You can't put a bird outside! And especially not in winter.
Chandler: You see loads of birds flying around outside!
Monica: They're wild. Do you see any budgies flying around outside?
Chandler: Well...no...
Monica: Well then.
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: Sorry. You can catch it, right?
Monica: I hope so. How did you kill the last one anyway?
Chandler: Well, from where I was standing, it looked like a toy, and I quickly picked it up and...well...
Monica: What?
Chandler: I flung it against the wall.
Monica: What?
Chandler: I realised it was a budgie when it gave a pathetic squawk. Budgies shouldn't be allowed to fly round peoples houses!
Monica: Poor Barney.
Chandler: Barney?
Monica: Don't you even know what her name is?
Chandler: Her?
Monica: Yes-Barney is a female budgie.
Chandler: Barney isn't a female name.
Monica: Chandler isn't a female name either.
Chandler: You can't say that, Phoebe's already used it.
Monica: When?
Chandler: With the triplets.
Monica: It wasn't exactly that...never mind. Let's just work on getting Barney happy.
Chandler: Now, where do you want to go tonight?
Monica: Oh, you're taking me out?
Chandler: Yeah-the budgie will be ok won't she?
Monica: Yeah. I want to go to that new Indian place.
Chandler: Your wish is my command, oh beautiful one.
Monica: Yeah, don't do the genie thing.
Chandler: OK. Let's go!
Monica: Thanks for the meal.
Chandler: That's ok. Good thing we didn't have stuffed budgie, huh?
Monica: Yeah. Poor thing, not able to share a bit of the dinner.
Chandler: She's not whistling.
Monica: She's probably asleep. Don't disturb her. The sheet is over her cage. Let's just go to bed after we've had this coffee.
Chandler: OK. Shh!
Monica: Why haven't you taken the cover off yet?
Chandler: Sorry, I forgot.
Monica: Has she been whistling?
Chandler: I don't think...oh my god.
Monica: Oh no!
Chandler: Where is she?
Rachel: Hi guys. OK?
Monica: No. Our budgie has escaped-and there's no way she could have done. Look! The gate's closed.
Chandler: Well, it's a mystery then.
Ross: No, I think I know what's happened...Monica, take us all to dad's house.
Monica: Why?
Ross: I have a feeling that this is a trick. I ahve a feeling that he took the bird. Did he know you were going out?
Monica: Yeah, I rang him and told him that the budgie would be okay...no!
Ross: Yes.
Rachel: What?
Chandler: What?
Monica: Ross, we'll explain it to them on the way.
CREDITS
Joey: Hey Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hey Joe. Where are the others?
Joey: On some wild budgie chase.
Phoebe: Oh cool! I wish they'd told me. I love budgies.
Joey: Yeah, they're so pretty aren't they?
Phoebe: Joey...
Joey: Phoebe...
Phoebe: Don't do that. Joe, do you want to go out tonight?
Joey: Yeah, hang on a tick.
Joey: Hi Jack? They're onto it. I've got the budgie, safe in my house...yeah...hahaha...don't tell them! Chandler will kill me! Yeah, bye.
Did that sound more like a normal Friends episode? Or did it make you wish you'd never been born because it was so awful, instead of a soppy love thing? (I'm not dissing them, they're great.) Look out for Chapter Two.