TITLE: Moonlight Reunion
AUTHOR: Shirley
RATING: PG
KEYWORDS: JC, SL, Drama, some Angst and a little Romance
SPOILERS: Some for Season 7.
TIMELINE: Set around Christmas in Season 7.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters from ER. They are
the property of Warner Brothers, Constant C Productions, etc.
ARCHIVE: You are welcome to download this story for your own reading,
but please do not archive it on any website without my permission.
SUMMARY: Carter meets someone from the past when he goes out of
town for the holidays.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: After re-reading "Bittersweet Reunion", I suddenly
realized I never posted the first Christmas story. This was originally
going to be a 'Reunion Trilogy' set around the holidays, but I only
got around to writing two stories. You can either consider this one
to be really early, or really late ;-)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The moon seemed to be glowing with exceptional brightness this evening.
It was a comforting presence to John Carter. Whether he was gazing
at it from his bedroom in Chicago or this hospital window in Phoenix,
it remained the same moon. How many others in the world were regarding
the same entity at this very moment? Hundreds? Perhaps thousands?
Faint voices intruded upon his melancholy thoughts and he turned
his head slightly, distracted by the sound.
"Carter?"
"Yes?" He swung around fully, expecting to see a nurse or doctor
before him. He blinked at the strange, yet familiar figure that was
gaping at him.
"My God, it *is* you! I thought I was dreaming."
Susan Lewis beamed at him with a wide smile and John finally smiled
back, taking hesitant steps towards her.
"Dr. Lewis, I...well, this is a surprise."
She looked exactly the same as he remembered, though her hair was
longer. Little green Christmas trees dangled from her ears
and a few strands of silver tinsel were caught in her hair.
He reached out and plucked away the shiny threads.
Her eyes widened for a moment as his hand came towards her face.
Then, as she saw the tinsel fall to the floor, she emitted a
husky laugh. "We had a little party earlier. Guess I got carried
away. So what are you doing here?"
"Here in the city or in the hospital?"
"Both."
"I have family in Phoenix. My parents and grandparents are out
of the country right now, so my aunt and uncle invited me down here
for Christmas. We were going for a walk after dinner and Aunt Beth
slipped on some ice. I think it's just a sprain, but I brought her
in anyway."
They remained staring at each other for several moments until
John spoke again. "So how have you been? How's your niece...
uh, Suzie? And Chloe?"
"Suzie's great. And so is Chloe. They've gone away for Christmas too,
to see my parents." She continued to gaze up at him, studying his face.
"You look a lot older," she blurted out.
"Do I?" One corner of his mouth tilted upwards and he shrugged slightly.
"You look great. I mean, you look the same."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
His expressive brown eyes had never been able to hide his feelings
and as Susan regarded them, she wondered what had caused the gulf
of sadness. She sensed that he'd been through a lot these past
few years. Well, hadn't they all. She supposed she was no exception.
"Are you working on Christmas by choice?" John asked.
"Actually, yes, since I didn't have anyone to spend it with this year.
Carter, don't look at me like that. I honestly don't mind."
"You didn't want to spend the holiday with your parents too?"
Susan grimaced, giving an emphatic shake of her head. "Not a chance.
I'd rather curl up on the couch alone in my apartment with a
cup of hot chocolate and a good movie."
John smiled tiredly, an expression of understanding on his face.
"Guess I know what you mean. I'm not even sure why I came down here.
I would've been just as happy on my own. Maybe I just wanted to get
out of Chicago."
"Why, did something happen?" She waited patiently for a response
but none seemed to be forthcoming. His eyes remained downcast
and one foot shuffled against the floor. Aware that she had
somehow struck a nerve, she decided to let him off the hook.
"Well, anyway, I'm almost off. It was good to see you again."
John's gaze flew back to hers. He recognized that tone she
was using; one that indicated this conversation was coming to a close.
"Good to see you too," he responded automatically. "Are you, uh,
just going straight home?"
"Yeah, unless..." She let the sentence trail off, trying to come
to a decision. Her mind was inundated with questions. When she'd
moved here, she'd cut off all ties with her life in Chicago.
She'd been afraid that keeping in touch with anyone, like Mark
or Carol, would have made it more difficult to stay away. At first,
she'd been so tempted to pick up the phone and call Mark whenever
she'd had a bad day. He had tried to get in touch with her numerous
times but she'd ignored him. Eventually, he had stopped trying.
"You want to grab a cup of coffee?" she finally asked.
"Yeah, that would be great."
***************
The hospital cafeteria was practically deserted. Christmas tunes
played in the background as John and Susan sipped their coffees.
They started their conversation on safe ground, talking about
general topics like the cold weather.
Susan asked if he was still at County and John told her of some
of the changes that had occured since she'd left. After a while,
curiosity got the better of her. She tried to sound as casual
as possible. "So how's Mark?"
John knew this question would arise but he hadn't yet decided
how much information he should give. "You haven't kept in touch
with him?"
Susan couldn't conceal the guilty look that flitted across her face.
"No, I thought it would be best if, well..." Frowning, she paused
for a moment before exhaling a sigh. "That's a lie. I did what
was easiest, not what was best. So no, I have no idea what is
happening in the life of my former best friend."
"He's engaged."
That news caught her off guard but as she probed her feelings,
she was relieved to find no hint of jealousy. "That's great.
I'm happy for him."
John told her a little about Elizabeth Corday and how well she
and Mark seemed to suit each other. He didn't reveal Mark's medical
condition. He remembered how close Mark and Susan had once been,
but since circumstances had changed, he didn't feel it was his place
to give the news.
"So what's been happening with you, Carter?"
He wasn't sure how to answer that question. The person he was now
and the young medical student Susan had known were not the same.
He had been so unbelievably naive and optimistic back then.
What a fool he'd been. Realizing that Susan was staring at him,
he fumbled to form a reply. "I've been doing okay."
"Just okay?" She regarded him with obvious doubt, once again
struck by just how much older he looked. It wasn't just maturity
or more lines around the eyes. He seemed weary and troubled.
No, troubled wasn't the right word. Tortured. There was a lot
going on behind those dark eyes. "Want to talk about it?"
The offer was tempting but he shook his head. "Believe me,
you don't want to know."
"Sure I do," she said quietly.
"Let's just say I've messed up my life pretty badly, but I'm
trying...God, I'm trying...to make it better. But sometimes
I'm scared."
Susan could hear his voice trembling with emotion and her heart
went out to him. What could possibly have happened to him?
"Scared of what?" she asked.
"I don't know. I just can't afford to screw things up anymore."
"You won't."
"You sound so sure."
"That's because I am sure." Susan set her mug down. "Look at me,
Carter." She waited until he returned her gaze. "I don't know
what's happened to you, but you're a strong person and from
what I saw when you were a student, you must have become a
wonderful doctor. You can beat this and you will. You just
need to believe in yourself."
"Oh, is that all?" he asked sarcastically.
"I know it sounds trite but that's where it starts."
"Sorry, I know you're trying to help me, but you just don't know
the situation."
"No, I don't. Do you want things to get better?"
"Of course I do." Though he tried, he couldn't quite keep
the annoyance out of his voice.
"Then you need to believe that it will. If you expect to fail
or screw things up, then you will do exactly that. Trust me,
I've been there."
Silence fell between them as John mulled over her advice. He knew
it held value and he wondered if a part of him did expect to fail.
She was right. He couldn't afford to start thinking like that.
He had to believe that he could remain clean.
A high-pitched voice pierced into his thoughts. "I've been
searching all over for you!"
They both glanced up to find a cheerful looking woman dressed in
a hospital gown and robe, standing beside their table. She looked
to be in her mid-fifties and with one hand, she dangled a sprig of
mistletoe above their heads.
Susan got to her feet, placing a hand on the woman's shoulder.
"Mrs. Fields, you shouldn't be here," she gently chastised.
She'd admitted the older woman earlier in the afternoon and obviously,
she'd wandered off. Psych was probably looking for her.
"Nonsense, of course I should." She smiled brightly at John.
"Stand up, young man. Don't you know you need to give her a kiss?"
As John began to stand, Susan waved one hand at him. "Sit down.
Mrs. Fields, let's get you back upstairs." She attempted to
draw the woman away but Mrs. Fields wouldn't budge.
"Not until you get your kiss."
Susan was so focused on devising a way to convince her to leave,
she didn't notice that John had moved to within inches of her.
Startled by the warm hand at the base of her neck, she tilted her
head back as he leaned down. "Carter..."
"She's right. This time, I'm going to get my kiss," he murmured.
This time? While her mind puzzled over that phrase, all thoughts
were obliterated when his mouth found hers. Abandoning herself
in the moment, her arms reached up, pulling him closer. This was
Carter. Good Lord, what was she doing? As her lips moved against his,
her heart started beating in double time and she unconsciously
stopped breathing.
When he finally pulled away, she stepped back, breathless.
Realizing that her mouth was still parted, she closed it abruptly.
Mrs. Fields clapped her hands with delight. "Now *that* was
a kiss!" she exclaimed, with evident satisfaction.
Susan's pager started beeping and she glanced at the display.
She had asked the ER to notify her when they'd finished examining
Carter's aunt. "You'd better get back to the ER to see your aunt,"
she told John. "I'll look after Mrs. Fields."
Trying to gauge Susan's reaction to the kiss, he could only come
to the conclusion that she looked completely distracted. "Are you
coming back down?"
"Of course. I'll have to get my things."
Worried that he might miss her in the busy ER while he found his aunt,
he thought it would be best to say their goodbyes here. He felt a
little embarrassed with a stranger watching them, but he plunged ahead.
"Thanks for our talk, Susan. I really needed it tonight."
"No problem. Just remember what I said."
"I will. Well, goodbye."
Wishing he could find the words he really wanted to say, he settled
with hugging her tightly, closing his eyes against the scent of her hair.
Then he was gone and suddenly, Susan felt very alone.
"He seemed like a nice young man," Mrs. Fields said. She then whispered
something so softly, Susan couldn't quite catch it.
"What did you say?"
"It's a magical time of year, right now. Did you know we had an
eclipse today?"
A little bewildered by this turn of conversation, Susan nodded.
She had heard something on the news about it.
Mrs. Fields continued on, displaying none of the gaiety she had
shown just minutes earlier. She seemed very composed and solemn now.
"This eclipse is a very rare occasion, and for it to happen on Christmas
day makes it even more exceptional. Some people believe the moon has
special powers. Do you believe that?"
"No, I can't say I do."
"Pity. The powers can't manifest themselves unless you believe."
Although she knew better than to be drawn into Mrs. Fields' tale,
Susan couldn't help feeling unsettled. With an effort, she brushed
off the feeling, telling herself this woman was a Psych patient.
As if on cue, a nurse from the Psych ward came into the cafeteria
and breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted Mrs. Fields. With a
fervent apology to Susan, the nurse led her away.
As Susan started to walk out of the room, she took a sideways glance
out the large window. Not able to see anything but black sky,
she stepped closer to the glass and peered upwards. There it was,
shiny and round in its fullness.
"I still remember what you told me about the full moon."
Startled, she jumped slightly, finding Carter close to her side.
"I...I told you something?" she stammered.
"Yeah, you said it's when all the weirdos come out. Did you
see any today in the ER?"
"No, it's been pretty quiet. Shouldn't you be with your aunt?"
"This will only take a minute. I just wanted to ask you if you'd
ever consider coming back to Chicago."
"I...no, my life is here now." Hating herself for being so
unnerved by his nearness, she spoke more abruptly than she
should have.
"No regrets?"
"Carter, what is this, an inquisition? Do you think it just
takes one kiss and I'm going to fall into your arms? Life doesn't
work that way. And I don't believe in the damned moon!" When she
saw the hurt puppy-dog look in his face, she immediately felt contrite.
"Sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."
"I know. It's okay. And I'm not suggesting you need to come back
to Chicago. It's just something to think about."
In a flash of movement, he grabbed her around the waist with one
arm while the other clasped her hand. Spinning around, she began
to laugh, feeling a little giddy. "What are you doing?" she managed
to ask.
"Dancing with you. What does it look like?"
Feeling a warmth of pleasure at her bubbly laughter, John spun her
around once more, bathed in the moonlight from above.
THE END
AUTHOR: Shirley
RATING: PG
KEYWORDS: JC, SL, Drama, some Angst and a little Romance
SPOILERS: Some for Season 7.
TIMELINE: Set around Christmas in Season 7.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters from ER. They are
the property of Warner Brothers, Constant C Productions, etc.
ARCHIVE: You are welcome to download this story for your own reading,
but please do not archive it on any website without my permission.
SUMMARY: Carter meets someone from the past when he goes out of
town for the holidays.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: After re-reading "Bittersweet Reunion", I suddenly
realized I never posted the first Christmas story. This was originally
going to be a 'Reunion Trilogy' set around the holidays, but I only
got around to writing two stories. You can either consider this one
to be really early, or really late ;-)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The moon seemed to be glowing with exceptional brightness this evening.
It was a comforting presence to John Carter. Whether he was gazing
at it from his bedroom in Chicago or this hospital window in Phoenix,
it remained the same moon. How many others in the world were regarding
the same entity at this very moment? Hundreds? Perhaps thousands?
Faint voices intruded upon his melancholy thoughts and he turned
his head slightly, distracted by the sound.
"Carter?"
"Yes?" He swung around fully, expecting to see a nurse or doctor
before him. He blinked at the strange, yet familiar figure that was
gaping at him.
"My God, it *is* you! I thought I was dreaming."
Susan Lewis beamed at him with a wide smile and John finally smiled
back, taking hesitant steps towards her.
"Dr. Lewis, I...well, this is a surprise."
She looked exactly the same as he remembered, though her hair was
longer. Little green Christmas trees dangled from her ears
and a few strands of silver tinsel were caught in her hair.
He reached out and plucked away the shiny threads.
Her eyes widened for a moment as his hand came towards her face.
Then, as she saw the tinsel fall to the floor, she emitted a
husky laugh. "We had a little party earlier. Guess I got carried
away. So what are you doing here?"
"Here in the city or in the hospital?"
"Both."
"I have family in Phoenix. My parents and grandparents are out
of the country right now, so my aunt and uncle invited me down here
for Christmas. We were going for a walk after dinner and Aunt Beth
slipped on some ice. I think it's just a sprain, but I brought her
in anyway."
They remained staring at each other for several moments until
John spoke again. "So how have you been? How's your niece...
uh, Suzie? And Chloe?"
"Suzie's great. And so is Chloe. They've gone away for Christmas too,
to see my parents." She continued to gaze up at him, studying his face.
"You look a lot older," she blurted out.
"Do I?" One corner of his mouth tilted upwards and he shrugged slightly.
"You look great. I mean, you look the same."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
His expressive brown eyes had never been able to hide his feelings
and as Susan regarded them, she wondered what had caused the gulf
of sadness. She sensed that he'd been through a lot these past
few years. Well, hadn't they all. She supposed she was no exception.
"Are you working on Christmas by choice?" John asked.
"Actually, yes, since I didn't have anyone to spend it with this year.
Carter, don't look at me like that. I honestly don't mind."
"You didn't want to spend the holiday with your parents too?"
Susan grimaced, giving an emphatic shake of her head. "Not a chance.
I'd rather curl up on the couch alone in my apartment with a
cup of hot chocolate and a good movie."
John smiled tiredly, an expression of understanding on his face.
"Guess I know what you mean. I'm not even sure why I came down here.
I would've been just as happy on my own. Maybe I just wanted to get
out of Chicago."
"Why, did something happen?" She waited patiently for a response
but none seemed to be forthcoming. His eyes remained downcast
and one foot shuffled against the floor. Aware that she had
somehow struck a nerve, she decided to let him off the hook.
"Well, anyway, I'm almost off. It was good to see you again."
John's gaze flew back to hers. He recognized that tone she
was using; one that indicated this conversation was coming to a close.
"Good to see you too," he responded automatically. "Are you, uh,
just going straight home?"
"Yeah, unless..." She let the sentence trail off, trying to come
to a decision. Her mind was inundated with questions. When she'd
moved here, she'd cut off all ties with her life in Chicago.
She'd been afraid that keeping in touch with anyone, like Mark
or Carol, would have made it more difficult to stay away. At first,
she'd been so tempted to pick up the phone and call Mark whenever
she'd had a bad day. He had tried to get in touch with her numerous
times but she'd ignored him. Eventually, he had stopped trying.
"You want to grab a cup of coffee?" she finally asked.
"Yeah, that would be great."
***************
The hospital cafeteria was practically deserted. Christmas tunes
played in the background as John and Susan sipped their coffees.
They started their conversation on safe ground, talking about
general topics like the cold weather.
Susan asked if he was still at County and John told her of some
of the changes that had occured since she'd left. After a while,
curiosity got the better of her. She tried to sound as casual
as possible. "So how's Mark?"
John knew this question would arise but he hadn't yet decided
how much information he should give. "You haven't kept in touch
with him?"
Susan couldn't conceal the guilty look that flitted across her face.
"No, I thought it would be best if, well..." Frowning, she paused
for a moment before exhaling a sigh. "That's a lie. I did what
was easiest, not what was best. So no, I have no idea what is
happening in the life of my former best friend."
"He's engaged."
That news caught her off guard but as she probed her feelings,
she was relieved to find no hint of jealousy. "That's great.
I'm happy for him."
John told her a little about Elizabeth Corday and how well she
and Mark seemed to suit each other. He didn't reveal Mark's medical
condition. He remembered how close Mark and Susan had once been,
but since circumstances had changed, he didn't feel it was his place
to give the news.
"So what's been happening with you, Carter?"
He wasn't sure how to answer that question. The person he was now
and the young medical student Susan had known were not the same.
He had been so unbelievably naive and optimistic back then.
What a fool he'd been. Realizing that Susan was staring at him,
he fumbled to form a reply. "I've been doing okay."
"Just okay?" She regarded him with obvious doubt, once again
struck by just how much older he looked. It wasn't just maturity
or more lines around the eyes. He seemed weary and troubled.
No, troubled wasn't the right word. Tortured. There was a lot
going on behind those dark eyes. "Want to talk about it?"
The offer was tempting but he shook his head. "Believe me,
you don't want to know."
"Sure I do," she said quietly.
"Let's just say I've messed up my life pretty badly, but I'm
trying...God, I'm trying...to make it better. But sometimes
I'm scared."
Susan could hear his voice trembling with emotion and her heart
went out to him. What could possibly have happened to him?
"Scared of what?" she asked.
"I don't know. I just can't afford to screw things up anymore."
"You won't."
"You sound so sure."
"That's because I am sure." Susan set her mug down. "Look at me,
Carter." She waited until he returned her gaze. "I don't know
what's happened to you, but you're a strong person and from
what I saw when you were a student, you must have become a
wonderful doctor. You can beat this and you will. You just
need to believe in yourself."
"Oh, is that all?" he asked sarcastically.
"I know it sounds trite but that's where it starts."
"Sorry, I know you're trying to help me, but you just don't know
the situation."
"No, I don't. Do you want things to get better?"
"Of course I do." Though he tried, he couldn't quite keep
the annoyance out of his voice.
"Then you need to believe that it will. If you expect to fail
or screw things up, then you will do exactly that. Trust me,
I've been there."
Silence fell between them as John mulled over her advice. He knew
it held value and he wondered if a part of him did expect to fail.
She was right. He couldn't afford to start thinking like that.
He had to believe that he could remain clean.
A high-pitched voice pierced into his thoughts. "I've been
searching all over for you!"
They both glanced up to find a cheerful looking woman dressed in
a hospital gown and robe, standing beside their table. She looked
to be in her mid-fifties and with one hand, she dangled a sprig of
mistletoe above their heads.
Susan got to her feet, placing a hand on the woman's shoulder.
"Mrs. Fields, you shouldn't be here," she gently chastised.
She'd admitted the older woman earlier in the afternoon and obviously,
she'd wandered off. Psych was probably looking for her.
"Nonsense, of course I should." She smiled brightly at John.
"Stand up, young man. Don't you know you need to give her a kiss?"
As John began to stand, Susan waved one hand at him. "Sit down.
Mrs. Fields, let's get you back upstairs." She attempted to
draw the woman away but Mrs. Fields wouldn't budge.
"Not until you get your kiss."
Susan was so focused on devising a way to convince her to leave,
she didn't notice that John had moved to within inches of her.
Startled by the warm hand at the base of her neck, she tilted her
head back as he leaned down. "Carter..."
"She's right. This time, I'm going to get my kiss," he murmured.
This time? While her mind puzzled over that phrase, all thoughts
were obliterated when his mouth found hers. Abandoning herself
in the moment, her arms reached up, pulling him closer. This was
Carter. Good Lord, what was she doing? As her lips moved against his,
her heart started beating in double time and she unconsciously
stopped breathing.
When he finally pulled away, she stepped back, breathless.
Realizing that her mouth was still parted, she closed it abruptly.
Mrs. Fields clapped her hands with delight. "Now *that* was
a kiss!" she exclaimed, with evident satisfaction.
Susan's pager started beeping and she glanced at the display.
She had asked the ER to notify her when they'd finished examining
Carter's aunt. "You'd better get back to the ER to see your aunt,"
she told John. "I'll look after Mrs. Fields."
Trying to gauge Susan's reaction to the kiss, he could only come
to the conclusion that she looked completely distracted. "Are you
coming back down?"
"Of course. I'll have to get my things."
Worried that he might miss her in the busy ER while he found his aunt,
he thought it would be best to say their goodbyes here. He felt a
little embarrassed with a stranger watching them, but he plunged ahead.
"Thanks for our talk, Susan. I really needed it tonight."
"No problem. Just remember what I said."
"I will. Well, goodbye."
Wishing he could find the words he really wanted to say, he settled
with hugging her tightly, closing his eyes against the scent of her hair.
Then he was gone and suddenly, Susan felt very alone.
"He seemed like a nice young man," Mrs. Fields said. She then whispered
something so softly, Susan couldn't quite catch it.
"What did you say?"
"It's a magical time of year, right now. Did you know we had an
eclipse today?"
A little bewildered by this turn of conversation, Susan nodded.
She had heard something on the news about it.
Mrs. Fields continued on, displaying none of the gaiety she had
shown just minutes earlier. She seemed very composed and solemn now.
"This eclipse is a very rare occasion, and for it to happen on Christmas
day makes it even more exceptional. Some people believe the moon has
special powers. Do you believe that?"
"No, I can't say I do."
"Pity. The powers can't manifest themselves unless you believe."
Although she knew better than to be drawn into Mrs. Fields' tale,
Susan couldn't help feeling unsettled. With an effort, she brushed
off the feeling, telling herself this woman was a Psych patient.
As if on cue, a nurse from the Psych ward came into the cafeteria
and breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted Mrs. Fields. With a
fervent apology to Susan, the nurse led her away.
As Susan started to walk out of the room, she took a sideways glance
out the large window. Not able to see anything but black sky,
she stepped closer to the glass and peered upwards. There it was,
shiny and round in its fullness.
"I still remember what you told me about the full moon."
Startled, she jumped slightly, finding Carter close to her side.
"I...I told you something?" she stammered.
"Yeah, you said it's when all the weirdos come out. Did you
see any today in the ER?"
"No, it's been pretty quiet. Shouldn't you be with your aunt?"
"This will only take a minute. I just wanted to ask you if you'd
ever consider coming back to Chicago."
"I...no, my life is here now." Hating herself for being so
unnerved by his nearness, she spoke more abruptly than she
should have.
"No regrets?"
"Carter, what is this, an inquisition? Do you think it just
takes one kiss and I'm going to fall into your arms? Life doesn't
work that way. And I don't believe in the damned moon!" When she
saw the hurt puppy-dog look in his face, she immediately felt contrite.
"Sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."
"I know. It's okay. And I'm not suggesting you need to come back
to Chicago. It's just something to think about."
In a flash of movement, he grabbed her around the waist with one
arm while the other clasped her hand. Spinning around, she began
to laugh, feeling a little giddy. "What are you doing?" she managed
to ask.
"Dancing with you. What does it look like?"
Feeling a warmth of pleasure at her bubbly laughter, John spun her
around once more, bathed in the moonlight from above.
THE END