Ok, guys. This is the last
chapter. Thanx to all those who reviewed and encouraged me to continue with
this story! Especially Kat Dickerson, if it hadn't been for her, I wouldn't of
been able to have all these questions. So half this fic is hers. The funny
half!
Une: Ok, now that the weak
WuFei has gone, I hope you are able to get more than the £400 you've
accumulated so far. Because, lets face it, you can't do shit with £400. Let's
play The Weakest Link!
Heero, what's the deal with
you wanting to kill everyone?
Heero: I…errrr…I can't say…
Une: Why not? ::looking
pissed off::
Heero: Because it's
embarrassing!
Une: So! Do you want this
money or what??
Heero: Alright, alright…'BANK'…I
get a perverse sexual feeling when I kill people! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW??
Duo: Whoa! ::looks
discusted::Too much info!
Une: Yes. Correct. £50
banked, chain starts from £0
Duo, how many ribs has your
"DeathSythe Hell" have?
Duo: Hey, are you trying to
make out that I'm dumb?
Une: I don't need to try.
Now answer the goddamn question.
Duo: 6, it has 6 ribs.
::whispers to Heero and Quatre:: I think it that time of the month for
her…
Heero & Quatre:
hehehehehehehehe
Une: Correct. £50
Quatre, seems as though you
think my mood is so funny you can miss a turn.
Quatre: ::cries::
Waaaaaaaa!!! *sob* *sniffel* It's not fair!!!!!
Une: It's not meant to be
fair. IT'S THE WEAKEST LINK!
Zechs, what were you and
Noin doing in the Tallgeese last night?
Zechs: ::Blushes and looks
at Noin::
Noin: ::Deathglaring™ at
Zechs as if to say 'Don't you dare!'::
Zechs: Well…errrr…
Une: You've got to tell me
or you don't get the money!
Zechs: ::looks back to
Noin:: We made love…
Noin: That's it! I'm out of
here! I don't need this shit! ::walks off:: and don't think your getting any
tonight, Zechs!
Zechs: ::runs after her::
Hey Noin, you can't be serious! You know I love you! Noin!! Thanks a lot,
Une!
Une: ::waves:: No Problem.
Just as long as I break up one couple during this fic, I'm a happy schizophrenic!
(Zechs & Noin off stage)
Heero: I'm going to. This is
getting boring. I got people to kill.
Duo: Me too!
Dorothy: Yes, your quite
right. I must go to. Wars don't just start themselves, y'know. Lady Une, you
got anyone that needs to be destroyed? I might as well do it seems though I'm
leaving and your hosting a show.
Une: Yes, thank you. ::Pulls
out names on a list as long as toilet paper:: Here you go. ::gives to Dorothy::
Thanks a lot, Dorothy.
Quatre: Do you mind if I
leave with you Miss Dorothy? ::blushing::
Dorothy: Errrmm…ok!
Heero, Duo, Quatre &
Dorothy walk off stage.
Une: Ok…errr…looks like we
are left with Relena Peacecraft and Mister Treize for a 'Sudden Death' round!
::Scary Metal Music::
Une: Ok I will ask you both
five questions each, the first one who gets the most at the end: wins!
Ok, Relena "Miss Queen
Pansey-ass" Why the fuck did you shoot my goddamn rose? Didn't you know
that was from Treize before I left for space? He put it on me himself!! ::in
dream land::
Treize: Well…beautiful women
should wear beautiful things. It's a shame that those of lesser value threaten
beautiful things.
Relena: Well actually
I was aiming to kill you, but your lover-boy's daisy got in the way.
Une: OOOOOOoo! Them's
fightin' words! ::rolling up her sleeve, wanting to punch Relena::
Treize: Please, lady. Do not
lower yourself to her level. You're so much higher than her. ::Throws a dashing
smile and raises a suggestive eyebrow::
Une: Ok! ::giggles like a
school girl::
I'll get all wrinkles in
this jacket and it'll end up looking like Dermail's ass!
Treize, what is your
favorite colour?
Treize: ::looks and points
to his Oz suite:: I like this colour!
Une: Yes, it's a lovely
colour. But what is it called?
Treize: Hmmmmmmm, I'd say it
was a Royal Persian Blue.
Une: Correct, it is BLUE.
One point each
Relena, why are you so
hell-bent on getting Heero? He doesn't like you. No one likes you.
Relena: Well, he really
likes me! Haven't you heard the saying "You always hurt the one you love."?
Une: Yeah, but they didn't
have you and Heero in mind. They were thinking of me and Treize, for example,
when he sneaked behind me and pinched my waist, and I gave him a damn good slap
for doing it in public. That's who they were on about.
Treize, how do you spell
dog?
Treize: Lady, that's too
easy! Why don't you give me harder questions?
Une: Treize, just spell dog!
Treize: ::looks defeated::
R-E-L-E-N-A
Une: But Treize, that's a breed
of dog, not the spelling of the dog in general. I can't allow that, answer.
Treize: ::whines:: But why?
Une: I already told you!
Treize: ::begs:: Let me have
the point! Please lady! I'll do that position tonight, that you like so much.
Une: ::Blushes:: Errrr…OK!
1 to Relena, 2 to
Treize
Relena, what is the
significance of the numbers 13 and 11?
Relena: …Oh…I don't
know…they're just numbers…?
Une: Wrong! They represent
Treize and I in fan fiction lingo. There's not enough of them, so I can't really
blame you for not knowing. ::looks in to camera 3:: Do more 13x11's/TkxLU's or
I'll kill you all!
Treize...is it true that I'm
the #1 in your life? I'm sure it is... ::taps hand against gun holster::
Treize: Your threats don't
scare me, Lady...even if the answer was no, you still don't scare me!
Une: This pistol's aimed
right for your wanker...so choose your answer carefully…
Treize: ::sweatdrops:: Yes....the answer is yes!
Une: Good boy.
Relena, is it true that you
and Dorothy had an affair during Dorothy's first few days attending your
school?
Relena: NO!!!!! THAT IS TOTALLY
NOT TRUE! I AM NOT YURI!!! I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU GOT THE IDEA THAT I WAS!
Treize: Une, that's my niece
your talking about!
Une: I know!
Dorothy: ::popps her head
round the stage:: Yes, we did Miss Relena! You know you weren't getting
anywhere with Heero! Hahahahahaha!
Treize: ::faints::
Une: Okay, Treize, since you
want a difficult question: What's the type of virus associated with Ebola?
Treize: That's easy. A
filovirus...the tiny group of infectious organisms that look like little
hookworms.
Une: O.o *mutters under breath* Nerd...
Treize: I'm sorry?
Une: Errr...I said...What a
large word.
But you were correct.
1 to Relena and 3 to
Treize
Relena, Is it or is it not true that you stalked Heero Yuy to
the point of him having to file a restraining order against you?
Relena: Yeah, it's true. But
he wouldn't shoot me. I wanted him to shoot me!
Une: Don't we all!
Mister Treize...is it true
that you had Millardo…errr…Zechs I mean...suspended after you caught him and
Noin having sex in your huge bath?
Treize: ::becomes angry::
Yes I did! That's only for you and I to...errr...hehehe...I mean… That was a
foul thing to do!
Une: But that is a 'Yes',
right?
Treize: Yes.
Une: Correct.
2 to Relena and 4 to
Treize
Relena...is it
true that you tried to pose for playboy, but were denied, because you, oh how
did the producers put it..."had no tits whatsoever?"
Relena: THAT'S
NOT TRUE!!!!!!
Zechs: ::pokes
head in:: Yep. It's true. I've got her measurements!
Relena: YOU'RE
MY BROTHER YOU PERVERT!
Zechs:
Hey...tits are tits...don't matter who they belong to!
Noin: ZECHS!
Treize: *faints
again*
Zechs: I have
your measurements too Une...let's see…
Treize *awakens
from fainting* I wouldn't go there, Millardo...I do have my sword with me....
Zechs: yeah,
yeah...anyway...ohhhh...C cup...nice
Une: GET OFF OF
MY STAGE YOU LAZY MOTHERFUCKER!
Treize, this
question isn't to easy, so here you go, how many times did we make love last
night?
Treize:
Hmmmmmmm, ::thinks:: is that including orals?
Une: ::blush:: Yes,
that includes 'orals'. ::thinks::
please say 15, it's 15, say 15!
Treize: 21!
::smiles::
Une: O.o
Errrr…YOUR RIGHT! You won Treize!! ::runs up to him::
Treize: Yeah!!
::Picks Une up::
Relena: THAT'S
NOT FAIR! YOU GAVE HIM EASY QUESTIONS!!
Une: Well Duh!
This is THE WEAKEST LINK!! Mister Treize loosing would be against his ideals,
stupid princess! And besides, it's not you I'm sleeping with!
Come on
Treize-chan, let's celebrate!!
Treize:
::Carries Une:: Wooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! And have hot, dirty, hentai, jungle
sex in the bath again!
Une &
Treize: YAY!!!!!
Relena: IT'S NOT
FAIR! I'M THE GOODY-GOODY! I SHOULD OF WON! I SHOULD HAVE THE GUYS AND I SHOULD
BE GETTING SOME TONIGHT!!
Heero: Tough
shit! ::Shoots Relena::
Relena: Heero,
you came and shot me ::all happy::
Heero: Shit! I
shot her in the head! She should be dead now!!
Relena: I'm the
main character, Heero. Nothing can kill me. You know that, silly!
Heero: FUCKING
HELL!! RUN EVERYONE, IT'S RELENA, AND SHE WANTS ME!!!
~End!~