A Serious Lack of Humors (1/2)
Disclaimer: I own two cups of cooked converted rice and a demon cat named Stewball. Please sue, the cat is driving me mad! Everything else is Joss', aka The Powers That Be, and I worship at his feet. Okay, not literal worship, but you get the idea.
Author's Note: I AM SICK OF POST-GIFT ANGST FICS! AAAAARGH! Therefore, if you are happy in your little gloomy world, and not ready to let sillyness reign, try somewhere else. Continuity is nonexistient, but we are somewhere in s5. I think. I doubt there are any spoilers, but if you're worried about things like that, you'd better read something else.
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Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly --- Robin Williams
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"AAAAK!" *Kaboom!* *hissssssssssssssss*
Red mist billowed out of the stockroom of the Magic Box, leaving a sticky trail across the floor. Anya looked up from where she was tallying the reciepts from the day. "Xander, what did you knock over?"
"I don't know, but it does have a pleasant, fruity scent," he quipped in between bouts of coughing.
"Well, get out of there before breathing too much of it turns you into a moose or a... _bunny_"
Xander appeared in the doorway, looking exactly like Xander if Xander had been dipped in a very large bucket of paint. "Is it just me, or is everything kind of... red?"
Anya sighed mightily, the sigh of the suffering saint. "Sit down, I'll go get something to clean you up."
Giles was busy watching Buffy's routine on the pommel horse, so he didn't notice when Anya entered the training room with a large metal bucket. "Where is the---"
"AAAK!" he cried out, and whirled on Anya.
She stood there blinking, then launched right back into, "Where is the paint thinnner?"
"For the love of--- Anya, don't sneak up on me like that! Why are you looking for paint thinner?"
"Xander knocked over the Kenteffrin powder into the pail of emergancy holy water, and the resulting explosion knocked the bucket of paint we use to touch up the sign out front into the fan, and he's now bright red. So I need the paint thinnner to get it off, and the Ptah Chalice to counteract the curse of destroying Kenteffrin powder." She held up the bucket, so he could clearly see the hieroglyphics someone had inscribed on the tin.
"Wait a minute," grunted Buffy as she finished a revolution with a handstand and a backflip off the end of the horse. "You left a cursed Xander in a store full of magical items, alone?"
"I told him not to move," Anya said, her words punctuated by several crashes and the retreating screams of customers.
"Oh for the love of---" Giles said, and rushed into the shop, followed by the two women, to find two bookcases toppled and a very blue Xander. Literally.
"I didn't do it!" he immediatley qualified, gesturing at the mess with his tail. Then he said, "What's so funny, Buffy?"
"Xander, you have a tail!" Buffy pointed out to him as she laughed.
He turned around and scrutinized his bottom. "Why, yes, apparently I do." He put his hands on top of his head. "No horns though, guess I'm still a good guy."
"To be specific, he has a forked tail," Anya replied sourly. "Not very sexy."
"Are you thinking that he got hit by beetle eyes, conjuring powder, and oregano?" Giles asked.
"Well, it would explain why he's blue. But what about the tail?" Anya replied. Xander took this moment to look at his hands, and then buried his face in them.
"I'm not sure, there may be some side effects to Kenteffrin curses when you mix them with beetle eyes."
"For all we know, it may be a side effect of the paint."
Giles conceeded her point. "You are right. We need to research this. And get Xander to somewhere safer."
"I'll go get Willow and Tara, I think we're going to need them." Buffy said, still letting out a muffled giggle every so often. She took Giles' keys off the hook behind the register, and with one last look at Xander, she left the shop laughing.
Disclaimer: I own two cups of cooked converted rice and a demon cat named Stewball. Please sue, the cat is driving me mad! Everything else is Joss', aka The Powers That Be, and I worship at his feet. Okay, not literal worship, but you get the idea.
Author's Note: I AM SICK OF POST-GIFT ANGST FICS! AAAAARGH! Therefore, if you are happy in your little gloomy world, and not ready to let sillyness reign, try somewhere else. Continuity is nonexistient, but we are somewhere in s5. I think. I doubt there are any spoilers, but if you're worried about things like that, you'd better read something else.
-------------------------
Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly --- Robin Williams
-------------------------
"AAAAK!" *Kaboom!* *hissssssssssssssss*
Red mist billowed out of the stockroom of the Magic Box, leaving a sticky trail across the floor. Anya looked up from where she was tallying the reciepts from the day. "Xander, what did you knock over?"
"I don't know, but it does have a pleasant, fruity scent," he quipped in between bouts of coughing.
"Well, get out of there before breathing too much of it turns you into a moose or a... _bunny_"
Xander appeared in the doorway, looking exactly like Xander if Xander had been dipped in a very large bucket of paint. "Is it just me, or is everything kind of... red?"
Anya sighed mightily, the sigh of the suffering saint. "Sit down, I'll go get something to clean you up."
Giles was busy watching Buffy's routine on the pommel horse, so he didn't notice when Anya entered the training room with a large metal bucket. "Where is the---"
"AAAK!" he cried out, and whirled on Anya.
She stood there blinking, then launched right back into, "Where is the paint thinnner?"
"For the love of--- Anya, don't sneak up on me like that! Why are you looking for paint thinner?"
"Xander knocked over the Kenteffrin powder into the pail of emergancy holy water, and the resulting explosion knocked the bucket of paint we use to touch up the sign out front into the fan, and he's now bright red. So I need the paint thinnner to get it off, and the Ptah Chalice to counteract the curse of destroying Kenteffrin powder." She held up the bucket, so he could clearly see the hieroglyphics someone had inscribed on the tin.
"Wait a minute," grunted Buffy as she finished a revolution with a handstand and a backflip off the end of the horse. "You left a cursed Xander in a store full of magical items, alone?"
"I told him not to move," Anya said, her words punctuated by several crashes and the retreating screams of customers.
"Oh for the love of---" Giles said, and rushed into the shop, followed by the two women, to find two bookcases toppled and a very blue Xander. Literally.
"I didn't do it!" he immediatley qualified, gesturing at the mess with his tail. Then he said, "What's so funny, Buffy?"
"Xander, you have a tail!" Buffy pointed out to him as she laughed.
He turned around and scrutinized his bottom. "Why, yes, apparently I do." He put his hands on top of his head. "No horns though, guess I'm still a good guy."
"To be specific, he has a forked tail," Anya replied sourly. "Not very sexy."
"Are you thinking that he got hit by beetle eyes, conjuring powder, and oregano?" Giles asked.
"Well, it would explain why he's blue. But what about the tail?" Anya replied. Xander took this moment to look at his hands, and then buried his face in them.
"I'm not sure, there may be some side effects to Kenteffrin curses when you mix them with beetle eyes."
"For all we know, it may be a side effect of the paint."
Giles conceeded her point. "You are right. We need to research this. And get Xander to somewhere safer."
"I'll go get Willow and Tara, I think we're going to need them." Buffy said, still letting out a muffled giggle every so often. She took Giles' keys off the hook behind the register, and with one last look at Xander, she left the shop laughing.