It turns out that I managed to leave some stuff out between having to recopy this stupid thing... so here we go again. I'm very, very sorry. The revised part's more over to the end where Trieze and Usagi are talking alone. Sorry again!
4c:Thinking it Over- Revised
Usagi had been preparing to go out, but was stopped by her Aunt. "Yes, Aunt Une?" "I would prefer it if you would stay in today. I'm expecting Mr.Treize to be stopping by today, and I want someone to be around to let him in." "But where are you-" Une cut her off sharply with a curt, "That is none of your business, and you needn't know the answer."
Usagi was surprised and hurt inside by the sharpness that her aunt had directed at her, but refused to let it show. "Alright," she agreed cheerily. "I'll do it." "Thank you. I must be off now." And with that she left.
Once more Usagi felt puzzled and wounded at her frigid manner. She had brushed off her attempts to be agreeable, and had been directly cold. Not only that, but she hadn't given her so much as a goodbye. It's ok... after all, I'm not a child, and she probably figures that by now I'm old enough to handle myself.
This caused a rush of pride to burst forth like a brush fire, making her smile. She trusts me to be responsible, that's it! Well, I won't disappoint you, Aunt Une.
Usagi went up, and made her unkempt bed and straitened her room a bit. She then set to the tasks of doing some light house-cleaning. She vacuumed a bit, dusted some, and cleaned her room. She felt her immense hunger begin to resurface- it was never really far off- but did her best to bruch it away.
All the while, Serena degan to do some soul searching. Who was the old Usagi Tsukino? What had she been like? What had she done, what had she accomplished, who were her friends? What was her moral code, her religion, her preferences, her hobbies? What had her life been like?
How much have Iost? All I have are a few scant memories that do nothing to help me find out who I am... or who I was. Tsukino Usagi... I'm not really her anymore, am I?
Usagi shook her head in dismay, turned off the vacuum, and went to her room. She sat bown at her desk, and began to compose a poem.
Shadow of Myself.
I look in the mirror, and what do I see?
A pale shadow of what I must have been looking at me.
Oh, she looks the same and sounds the same,
But inside she's a stranger.
Who was she once, and what was her story?
Was she smart and shy, or bold and wild,
Always the one who knew how to have a good time?
Was she moody and lonely, or vibrant and happy, surrounded in her mirth?
Who I was then, and who I am now...
I know neither, I'm just blind and confused
Stumbling around as best I can, trying to find my way.
I see the night, and I see the day,
But I can't see my soul nor my memories
For they're locked away in a room, with a padlock too large that says 'amnesia' on it.
I need the key, but I can't seem to find it, so I cry and I scream and-
Usagi was interrupted by the repetative ringing of the doorbell and pounding on the door that was harsh and loud. She was so startled that she threw the pencil across the room where it hit dead on with the wall.
She sped down the stairs- rather clumsily- and managed to leap to the door and jerk it open panting and huffing and puffing. Unfortunately, her stocking feet slipped... and Usagi was at last painfully properly introduced to the tile floor.
"Itttttaaaaaiiiii.....," she moaned softly after several moments of just laying there. An amused voice said, "Une... I didn't realise you were getting a new doormat." Usagi stiffened at the definate aristocratic air to the obviously male voice, and wished she could just find a good place to curl up and die. There was only one man who she knew to have that voice. It was Une's boss.... Mr. Trieze.
"I didn't know so either... Usagi, are you going to let us get by or are you going to lay there all day?" There was that harsh cold sound to her voice that bit into her heart like a shard of glass might pierce her flesh.
She sat up hastily, and said, "No, ma'am. I'm so very, very, VERY sorry!" She jumped to her feet, and gave a hasty and yet steep bow, and then stepped out of their way and was about to search for a place of refuge when she was called back. "Usagi, could I please have a word with you?"
Usagi returned and bowed again, and said, " Yes, Trieze-sama-" "Please, there's really no need to be so formal. Relax." "Al- alright... Trieze-san."
Une watched the display in front of her. Usagi really stood for her name, the rabbit. She didn't know that it was just a wolf in sheep-skin who was staring her down. The very one who had destroyed her life ultimately was plotting something... She felt her eyes narrow in cold fury. I smell the distinct smell of a rat. Trieze, don't you dare harm her. I swear, if you sully her in any way, there'll be hell to pay for. You've done enough to her.
Trieze cleared his throat, and said, "Une... surely you wouldn't be mistrusting me? I only wish to have a word with her." Une snapped to attention, and stared strait into Trieze's eyes, trying to figure out what sly plan those gears were working to put into full swing. Usagi was looking at both of them with a worried look on her face, trying to deciepher the unspoken conversation that the two adults were communicating between one another.
Finally, Une gave up, and said, "Yes, of course. I have things I must do anyways." She turned curtly, and stalked out of the room, knowing that Usagi had probably more at risk now than even Une could possibly imagine.
"You'll have to forgive her. She's had a long day," he said as though apoligising for her behavior. Usagi nodded thoughtfully while twisted a golden whisp of her hair between her fingers. " Everybody has those days..."
"Yes, that's right. But I didn't ask you to speak with me in private so that we could talk about Une's problems. I want to talk to you about your own problems." "My problems?" The my was stressed, and there was a slight hint of indignation that he might be suggesting that she handicapped because she couldn't remember anything really just yet.
"Yes, your problems. Like what you don't remember. Your amnesia, as well as the knowledge you might have lost." Usagi blinked in confusion. Was he trying to hint that she was weak? Why did he want to help her? And since when was it his business about what had happened to her and how she delt with it?
She pushed the irritation that was begin to slowly itch and burn like a flame that was torturing her underneath as she said softly, "Trieze-san, I thank you for your concern. But I'm doing fine now. I have new friends, a loving aunt, and eventually my memories will return to me." "Not nececsarrily." Usagi felt the irritation beginning to uncoil beneath her, mounting up higher and hotter than before. What did HE know that SHE *didn't*?
"Excuse me?" He sighed, and ran his hand through his hair, and then said quietly, " There is only a fourty percent chance you're going to get your memories back, Usagi."
Usagi felt the breath escape her, and for a moment, the world stopped turning at the revelation of the statistics. How did he know this? Why wasn't SHE the one who had been told this? And why such low statistics?? "Why- why so low?" "Because, each day, less and less of a chance of you getting them back totally forms. Your percentage goes down each day. That's alot of memories to lose."
Usagi collapsed into a chair and put her hands so that they covered her face. Just when I was beginning to feel more confident... why? WHY??? She felt searing hot tears form, but sniffled only once before lifting her head. Her eyes remained glassy, and she still looked ready to cry, but she only said, " I have faith that my memories will return to me."
Trieze seemed to consider this, and finally said, " Usagi, there's more. There is a way to take revenge on the people who have destroyed your life." "What do you mean?" "I mean, that you can take revenge on the people who allowed this to happen to you- who deliberately wiped out all of Tokyo." Usagi just stared at him, and then said, "I don't know who would do such a thing or why, but I don't want revenge."
"Usagi, they did it as a threat to all of Japan. They were afraid that Japan would turn on them, and used the bombing of Tokyo as an example as to what would happen if Japan sold the colonies out." Usagi shook her head, and in a flat voice said, "That's all fine and dandy, but how on earth can I- an average teenage high-school student- do anything for revenge?"
"In the history of your people, there were several bloodlines that somehow had extreme powers running through them- psychic abilities and abilities to control the elements that surround us. I've done research, and I've managed to find that you have a high chance to have all of these capabilites. With the proper training, after I've tested you, you could do just about anything, Usagi!"
For several moments, a thick heavy silence filled with tension was in the air. Usagi was debating things out in her mind, trying to figure out what she wanted. She didn't want to hurt anyone, and she didn't want to sink to the level of the people who had possibly ruined her life. She shook her head softly, and said, "No. That's not what I want. I would love to have you teach me, but I don't seek any vengence. Please try and understand this."
Usagi looked up, and Trieze saw a small light shining up from within them. They were an awesome blue, a truely powerful shade that you would only see for instant in the dawn and then it would be gone. The light in them was small, but filled with hope and an unconditional love for everyone and everything, no matter what kind of cards she was delt in the poker game of life. It was strange that someone so young and with so much to learn could seek a different kind of peace than what he was used to hearing about. She didn't want global dissarment or expect for total peace, but maybe some sort of give-and-take point and a little bit of joy to make all of the sorrow and unhappiness worth it. Trieze didn't really understand it; it was something that ran deep.. deeper than blood or memories, or hatred or sorrow... something that must have run lifetimes back-
Trieze was interrupted from his thoughts when Usagi nearly shouted, "Trieze-san, please, what's wrong?!" Trieze snapped out of it, and said, "Nothing, I'm sorry if I scared you, Usagi. I would love to still have you as a pupil. What day are you free to start?" Usagi smiled brightly, and Trieze could see that already the uncomfortable moment of before had already been put to side and laid to rest. "Tomorrow after school, maybe?" Trieze nodded and said, "By four o'clock, please. And the sooner that you get there, the longer time we have to find out how much power you have in you."
Trieze bid her goodbye, as well as Une. Usagi watched him leave, feeling that somehow there was something wrong about the whole situation. A certain under-feeling, that sent a chill up her spine and reminded her of a bad taste in her mouth. She pondered it over, and decided to try and talk it over with Une.
Unfortunately, she didn't seem to really be in the mood for it. After telling her curtly that she had things to do, she locked herself up into her study. Usagi was stung by this, but bit her lip, and went to her own room. She had things that she needed to think over.
She walked up the stairs and went into her bedroom, quietly shutting and locking the door behind her. She was greeted by Socks, which was what she called the small gray kitten that was now her own to keep. She greeted the small yet odd kitten, and then flopped down on her bed.
She drew out the rather large and spectacular crystal from her pocket, and gently went over its facets with her fingers over the glossy, smooth, cool surface, thinking about the bridges that had nearly burned all around her while she fought to cope with her life.
She had nearly lost all of the friendships that meant so much to her during the time that she had spent brooding over the fate that she had very barely escaped. She had been rude and almost cruel to Quatre, had been snide and curt with Heero, hadn't talked to Duo, and had avoided Wufei. The only one that she had managed to remain civil with was Trowa, and only because he didn't ask questions. Sometimes, she thought that the guy knew more than what he ws given credit for. MUCH more.
But her time of numbness to anything but her pain and anger was over, and it was time to ask for their forgiveness. It was going to be difficult, she was sure of that much, but it was at last time to apoligize for her awful behavior and try to explain herself.
She sat up slowly and made her way out the door begrudgingly and with small steps that dragged against the ground. She had an awful feeling of wariness and anxiety that was eating away at her disolve; trying to make her change her mind. But she hurried out of the house, locking the door behind her without grabbing a key. Une could always let her in when she got back, and even though it wasn't really a good way to try and keep herself from turning back and hiding
She knew she could still give in to her fears and the gnawing feeling of worry and fear of the worst, but she couldn't. She wouldn't; there was too much at stake in the long-run. She walked down the street, painfully aware of the doubts that plagued her mind. But she gathered her courage, and made her way to where her friends lived.
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4c:Thinking it Over- Revised
Usagi had been preparing to go out, but was stopped by her Aunt. "Yes, Aunt Une?" "I would prefer it if you would stay in today. I'm expecting Mr.Treize to be stopping by today, and I want someone to be around to let him in." "But where are you-" Une cut her off sharply with a curt, "That is none of your business, and you needn't know the answer."
Usagi was surprised and hurt inside by the sharpness that her aunt had directed at her, but refused to let it show. "Alright," she agreed cheerily. "I'll do it." "Thank you. I must be off now." And with that she left.
Once more Usagi felt puzzled and wounded at her frigid manner. She had brushed off her attempts to be agreeable, and had been directly cold. Not only that, but she hadn't given her so much as a goodbye. It's ok... after all, I'm not a child, and she probably figures that by now I'm old enough to handle myself.
This caused a rush of pride to burst forth like a brush fire, making her smile. She trusts me to be responsible, that's it! Well, I won't disappoint you, Aunt Une.
Usagi went up, and made her unkempt bed and straitened her room a bit. She then set to the tasks of doing some light house-cleaning. She vacuumed a bit, dusted some, and cleaned her room. She felt her immense hunger begin to resurface- it was never really far off- but did her best to bruch it away.
All the while, Serena degan to do some soul searching. Who was the old Usagi Tsukino? What had she been like? What had she done, what had she accomplished, who were her friends? What was her moral code, her religion, her preferences, her hobbies? What had her life been like?
How much have Iost? All I have are a few scant memories that do nothing to help me find out who I am... or who I was. Tsukino Usagi... I'm not really her anymore, am I?
Usagi shook her head in dismay, turned off the vacuum, and went to her room. She sat bown at her desk, and began to compose a poem.
Shadow of Myself.
I look in the mirror, and what do I see?
A pale shadow of what I must have been looking at me.
Oh, she looks the same and sounds the same,
But inside she's a stranger.
Who was she once, and what was her story?
Was she smart and shy, or bold and wild,
Always the one who knew how to have a good time?
Was she moody and lonely, or vibrant and happy, surrounded in her mirth?
Who I was then, and who I am now...
I know neither, I'm just blind and confused
Stumbling around as best I can, trying to find my way.
I see the night, and I see the day,
But I can't see my soul nor my memories
For they're locked away in a room, with a padlock too large that says 'amnesia' on it.
I need the key, but I can't seem to find it, so I cry and I scream and-
Usagi was interrupted by the repetative ringing of the doorbell and pounding on the door that was harsh and loud. She was so startled that she threw the pencil across the room where it hit dead on with the wall.
She sped down the stairs- rather clumsily- and managed to leap to the door and jerk it open panting and huffing and puffing. Unfortunately, her stocking feet slipped... and Usagi was at last painfully properly introduced to the tile floor.
"Itttttaaaaaiiiii.....," she moaned softly after several moments of just laying there. An amused voice said, "Une... I didn't realise you were getting a new doormat." Usagi stiffened at the definate aristocratic air to the obviously male voice, and wished she could just find a good place to curl up and die. There was only one man who she knew to have that voice. It was Une's boss.... Mr. Trieze.
"I didn't know so either... Usagi, are you going to let us get by or are you going to lay there all day?" There was that harsh cold sound to her voice that bit into her heart like a shard of glass might pierce her flesh.
She sat up hastily, and said, "No, ma'am. I'm so very, very, VERY sorry!" She jumped to her feet, and gave a hasty and yet steep bow, and then stepped out of their way and was about to search for a place of refuge when she was called back. "Usagi, could I please have a word with you?"
Usagi returned and bowed again, and said, " Yes, Trieze-sama-" "Please, there's really no need to be so formal. Relax." "Al- alright... Trieze-san."
Une watched the display in front of her. Usagi really stood for her name, the rabbit. She didn't know that it was just a wolf in sheep-skin who was staring her down. The very one who had destroyed her life ultimately was plotting something... She felt her eyes narrow in cold fury. I smell the distinct smell of a rat. Trieze, don't you dare harm her. I swear, if you sully her in any way, there'll be hell to pay for. You've done enough to her.
Trieze cleared his throat, and said, "Une... surely you wouldn't be mistrusting me? I only wish to have a word with her." Une snapped to attention, and stared strait into Trieze's eyes, trying to figure out what sly plan those gears were working to put into full swing. Usagi was looking at both of them with a worried look on her face, trying to deciepher the unspoken conversation that the two adults were communicating between one another.
Finally, Une gave up, and said, "Yes, of course. I have things I must do anyways." She turned curtly, and stalked out of the room, knowing that Usagi had probably more at risk now than even Une could possibly imagine.
"You'll have to forgive her. She's had a long day," he said as though apoligising for her behavior. Usagi nodded thoughtfully while twisted a golden whisp of her hair between her fingers. " Everybody has those days..."
"Yes, that's right. But I didn't ask you to speak with me in private so that we could talk about Une's problems. I want to talk to you about your own problems." "My problems?" The my was stressed, and there was a slight hint of indignation that he might be suggesting that she handicapped because she couldn't remember anything really just yet.
"Yes, your problems. Like what you don't remember. Your amnesia, as well as the knowledge you might have lost." Usagi blinked in confusion. Was he trying to hint that she was weak? Why did he want to help her? And since when was it his business about what had happened to her and how she delt with it?
She pushed the irritation that was begin to slowly itch and burn like a flame that was torturing her underneath as she said softly, "Trieze-san, I thank you for your concern. But I'm doing fine now. I have new friends, a loving aunt, and eventually my memories will return to me." "Not nececsarrily." Usagi felt the irritation beginning to uncoil beneath her, mounting up higher and hotter than before. What did HE know that SHE *didn't*?
"Excuse me?" He sighed, and ran his hand through his hair, and then said quietly, " There is only a fourty percent chance you're going to get your memories back, Usagi."
Usagi felt the breath escape her, and for a moment, the world stopped turning at the revelation of the statistics. How did he know this? Why wasn't SHE the one who had been told this? And why such low statistics?? "Why- why so low?" "Because, each day, less and less of a chance of you getting them back totally forms. Your percentage goes down each day. That's alot of memories to lose."
Usagi collapsed into a chair and put her hands so that they covered her face. Just when I was beginning to feel more confident... why? WHY??? She felt searing hot tears form, but sniffled only once before lifting her head. Her eyes remained glassy, and she still looked ready to cry, but she only said, " I have faith that my memories will return to me."
Trieze seemed to consider this, and finally said, " Usagi, there's more. There is a way to take revenge on the people who have destroyed your life." "What do you mean?" "I mean, that you can take revenge on the people who allowed this to happen to you- who deliberately wiped out all of Tokyo." Usagi just stared at him, and then said, "I don't know who would do such a thing or why, but I don't want revenge."
"Usagi, they did it as a threat to all of Japan. They were afraid that Japan would turn on them, and used the bombing of Tokyo as an example as to what would happen if Japan sold the colonies out." Usagi shook her head, and in a flat voice said, "That's all fine and dandy, but how on earth can I- an average teenage high-school student- do anything for revenge?"
"In the history of your people, there were several bloodlines that somehow had extreme powers running through them- psychic abilities and abilities to control the elements that surround us. I've done research, and I've managed to find that you have a high chance to have all of these capabilites. With the proper training, after I've tested you, you could do just about anything, Usagi!"
For several moments, a thick heavy silence filled with tension was in the air. Usagi was debating things out in her mind, trying to figure out what she wanted. She didn't want to hurt anyone, and she didn't want to sink to the level of the people who had possibly ruined her life. She shook her head softly, and said, "No. That's not what I want. I would love to have you teach me, but I don't seek any vengence. Please try and understand this."
Usagi looked up, and Trieze saw a small light shining up from within them. They were an awesome blue, a truely powerful shade that you would only see for instant in the dawn and then it would be gone. The light in them was small, but filled with hope and an unconditional love for everyone and everything, no matter what kind of cards she was delt in the poker game of life. It was strange that someone so young and with so much to learn could seek a different kind of peace than what he was used to hearing about. She didn't want global dissarment or expect for total peace, but maybe some sort of give-and-take point and a little bit of joy to make all of the sorrow and unhappiness worth it. Trieze didn't really understand it; it was something that ran deep.. deeper than blood or memories, or hatred or sorrow... something that must have run lifetimes back-
Trieze was interrupted from his thoughts when Usagi nearly shouted, "Trieze-san, please, what's wrong?!" Trieze snapped out of it, and said, "Nothing, I'm sorry if I scared you, Usagi. I would love to still have you as a pupil. What day are you free to start?" Usagi smiled brightly, and Trieze could see that already the uncomfortable moment of before had already been put to side and laid to rest. "Tomorrow after school, maybe?" Trieze nodded and said, "By four o'clock, please. And the sooner that you get there, the longer time we have to find out how much power you have in you."
Trieze bid her goodbye, as well as Une. Usagi watched him leave, feeling that somehow there was something wrong about the whole situation. A certain under-feeling, that sent a chill up her spine and reminded her of a bad taste in her mouth. She pondered it over, and decided to try and talk it over with Une.
Unfortunately, she didn't seem to really be in the mood for it. After telling her curtly that she had things to do, she locked herself up into her study. Usagi was stung by this, but bit her lip, and went to her own room. She had things that she needed to think over.
She walked up the stairs and went into her bedroom, quietly shutting and locking the door behind her. She was greeted by Socks, which was what she called the small gray kitten that was now her own to keep. She greeted the small yet odd kitten, and then flopped down on her bed.
She drew out the rather large and spectacular crystal from her pocket, and gently went over its facets with her fingers over the glossy, smooth, cool surface, thinking about the bridges that had nearly burned all around her while she fought to cope with her life.
She had nearly lost all of the friendships that meant so much to her during the time that she had spent brooding over the fate that she had very barely escaped. She had been rude and almost cruel to Quatre, had been snide and curt with Heero, hadn't talked to Duo, and had avoided Wufei. The only one that she had managed to remain civil with was Trowa, and only because he didn't ask questions. Sometimes, she thought that the guy knew more than what he ws given credit for. MUCH more.
But her time of numbness to anything but her pain and anger was over, and it was time to ask for their forgiveness. It was going to be difficult, she was sure of that much, but it was at last time to apoligize for her awful behavior and try to explain herself.
She sat up slowly and made her way out the door begrudgingly and with small steps that dragged against the ground. She had an awful feeling of wariness and anxiety that was eating away at her disolve; trying to make her change her mind. But she hurried out of the house, locking the door behind her without grabbing a key. Une could always let her in when she got back, and even though it wasn't really a good way to try and keep herself from turning back and hiding
She knew she could still give in to her fears and the gnawing feeling of worry and fear of the worst, but she couldn't. She wouldn't; there was too much at stake in the long-run. She walked down the street, painfully aware of the doubts that plagued her mind. But she gathered her courage, and made her way to where her friends lived.
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