It was the beginning
I was so innocent
I thought that I could stop them,
Or make them relent
Just a little
That's all I asked for:
That I could do my part,
And keep my morality sure
Like it was in that beginning.
Earth, so beautiful,
That I thought all must laugh at its wonder
Now I see the taint
In its heart: that blunders
Are made
In a cruel mockery
Of nature's perfect chance,
And no one can see
What they've done to beautiful Earth.
I followed my orders,
Killed for my orders,
Defiled the Earth with my killing
Created new borders
Between myself
And the people of Terra;
They feared me -- me!
And learned to beware of
Me, who killed for others.
I tried to stop the killing,
Tried to make them understand
That surrender spared their lives.
I tried to stay my hand
And said
That if I gave them a chance
That it wasn't murder, or my fault;
That I could stop this endless dance
Of chaos and death.
But in this death-dance,
I met one like me.
War-weary, too old for one
So young; he was but fifteen;
Too young
For all of this, as I was.
And we fought, and
I surrendered. It was because
I knew we were the same.
I still love music, always loved music
And this stranger knew, too
The solace I found
Though he played the flute --
I, the violin --
And soon he, too, saw that we were the same
Was that what made you want to leave
Before I knew your name?
Did it matter, friend in melody?
I saw you again, Trowa,
You with no name but one you made
We fought together, and I think you saw
That I was afraid
Afraid?
Quatre the murderer was scared?
Yes, frightened of losing myself,
And I kept my soul bared;
Couldn't you see its decay, Trowa?
I learned of the others --
There were others, of course --
Others like me! I wanted to know
Did they regret that they were forced
To kill?
Soon my wish was granted
I met them all: Heero, alone,
Duo, shadowed, and Wufei, who ranted
At us; what fools we were!
I remember, and woe, that day
When all could have been
Salvaged, had we waited,
And seen the truth within.
The trap was well-baited.
We thought we could win
And then Wufei told us the truth.
Horror set in.
My guilt.
That was where the mistakes began
And I learned to hate the name "Treize"
I, the moralist, could hate!
And there, when we parted ways,
I knew I was changed
And it hurt, but I was sure
That, once the war was over,
There would be a cure,
And I would be Quatre Raberba Winner again.
It became a battle for good,
The good in me
Or the good I perceived.
A chance to surrender: be free
From self-loathing
And the doubt I feel
But I didn't want to lose
The memories. No one could steal
Playing music with Trowa.
No one could take
Knowing that you are not alone
No matter how much you hate yourself,
And your own
Because they obey you
And still! I still believed
That I could keep my soul intact
And wasn't I relieved
That others would fight for me?
Then!
They killed!
My father!
I filled
My soul
With anger
And hate
And danger . . .
Madness!
It was blue
Madness, I mean
It was like ice
Cold and extreme
Unrelenting
My laughter echoed --
Still echoes.
Was it a goad?
Why did they kill my daddy?
After
So
Long
I
Still
Ask
Why
Did
The
Man
In the
Mask
Or
His rose-stricken
Friend
Order
Their men
To make
So
Many lives
End
And
If
It
Was
Worth
It.
I was so innocent
I thought that I could stop them,
Or make them relent
Just a little
That's all I asked for:
That I could do my part,
And keep my morality sure
Like it was in that beginning.
Earth, so beautiful,
That I thought all must laugh at its wonder
Now I see the taint
In its heart: that blunders
Are made
In a cruel mockery
Of nature's perfect chance,
And no one can see
What they've done to beautiful Earth.
I followed my orders,
Killed for my orders,
Defiled the Earth with my killing
Created new borders
Between myself
And the people of Terra;
They feared me -- me!
And learned to beware of
Me, who killed for others.
I tried to stop the killing,
Tried to make them understand
That surrender spared their lives.
I tried to stay my hand
And said
That if I gave them a chance
That it wasn't murder, or my fault;
That I could stop this endless dance
Of chaos and death.
But in this death-dance,
I met one like me.
War-weary, too old for one
So young; he was but fifteen;
Too young
For all of this, as I was.
And we fought, and
I surrendered. It was because
I knew we were the same.
I still love music, always loved music
And this stranger knew, too
The solace I found
Though he played the flute --
I, the violin --
And soon he, too, saw that we were the same
Was that what made you want to leave
Before I knew your name?
Did it matter, friend in melody?
I saw you again, Trowa,
You with no name but one you made
We fought together, and I think you saw
That I was afraid
Afraid?
Quatre the murderer was scared?
Yes, frightened of losing myself,
And I kept my soul bared;
Couldn't you see its decay, Trowa?
I learned of the others --
There were others, of course --
Others like me! I wanted to know
Did they regret that they were forced
To kill?
Soon my wish was granted
I met them all: Heero, alone,
Duo, shadowed, and Wufei, who ranted
At us; what fools we were!
I remember, and woe, that day
When all could have been
Salvaged, had we waited,
And seen the truth within.
The trap was well-baited.
We thought we could win
And then Wufei told us the truth.
Horror set in.
My guilt.
That was where the mistakes began
And I learned to hate the name "Treize"
I, the moralist, could hate!
And there, when we parted ways,
I knew I was changed
And it hurt, but I was sure
That, once the war was over,
There would be a cure,
And I would be Quatre Raberba Winner again.
It became a battle for good,
The good in me
Or the good I perceived.
A chance to surrender: be free
From self-loathing
And the doubt I feel
But I didn't want to lose
The memories. No one could steal
Playing music with Trowa.
No one could take
Knowing that you are not alone
No matter how much you hate yourself,
And your own
Because they obey you
And still! I still believed
That I could keep my soul intact
And wasn't I relieved
That others would fight for me?
Then!
They killed!
My father!
I filled
My soul
With anger
And hate
And danger . . .
Madness!
It was blue
Madness, I mean
It was like ice
Cold and extreme
Unrelenting
My laughter echoed --
Still echoes.
Was it a goad?
Why did they kill my daddy?
After
So
Long
I
Still
Ask
Why
Did
The
Man
In the
Mask
Or
His rose-stricken
Friend
Order
Their men
To make
So
Many lives
End
And
If
It
Was
Worth
It.