Notes before reading:
Haha, look who's back at it again with this trauma fes.
Well, this honestly is the mildest thing I have written for this series, there are excerpts from Kuroko's journal that are self-deprecating.
Note this is not in any way a diagnosis just teenagers making assumptions.
In Midorima's case, he is a bit educated due to his parents having a medical background.
This is Story 3 of an ongoing series crossposted here and on Ao3
The two other stories are 'Perhaps with those eyes it's okay to be looked down on.' and 'Sunflower under Red and Blue stars.' only then will this make sense
It had been almost a year since Kuroko died and two months since Akashi's death.
Kazunari would've rather spent the small break after finals in his room playing games but here he is with Midorima going to that loud model's home.
"Takao, honestly I know you'd rather be literally anywhere else as much as I do, but Kise just wouldn't leave me alone." Midorima laments
He in all honesty loved to see his Shin-chan's puffed-up or grumpy face, he looked too cute, too teaseable.
"Oh Shin-chan I don't mind~" he lies but seeing the usual stoic male mope was the cutest and funniest thing. "Now that I think about… why was he so persistent?"
Midorima grew grim, he averted his eyes, "It's something involving Kuroko and Akashi."
"Oh?" he queries he could only wonder what it was about that Aomine, Kagami or even Momoi couldn't answer.
"He said something about a journal, and Akashi's phone he was wondering if our knowledge on the both of them may be helpful."
"But wouldn't Aomine Kagami or Momoi be of better help well at least with Kuroko?"
"That's what I asked but then the both of them, I think even more so Kuroko, they're honestly just different…"
Well, that was true Kuroko seemed to have snippets of his life just divided and handed to so many people, everyone knew something different about the boy, whether it was that guy he regularly teamed up with at the arcade, Ogiwara or his childhood friends or Hanamiya and Haizaki and even himself. What everyone also knew (well except for Ogiwara) he was bullied to the point of suicide over something as fickle as a seating arrangement, everyone knew how many reports were filed but none of which saw the light of day.
"We're here," Midorima said.
If asked Kise's living space was a bit underwhelming to him, considering Kise was on several magazine covers in his career as a model he expected something a bit bigger but by all means was it not lacking.
"Kise's alternative job if he doesn't get scouted in basketball is a pilot, most likely the funds are going towards flying school."
He ever marvels at Midorima's ability to tell exactly what's on his mind.
"Oh Shin-chan you know me so well~" he cooed "Do you love me?"
On cue, Midorima starts sputtering and nervously pushing up his glasses.
Honestly, he was just too cute.
Midorima rings the bell on the intercom.
"Who is it?" a female voice responds.
"Midorima Shintaro and I have my… friend Takao Kazunari, Kise… uhh Ryouta is expecting us."
She opens the door "Do come in Midorima-kun."
They both bow and say, "Pardon the intrusion."
Kise's sister then rushes off saying she'll call Ryouta.
Kise enters in with dripping wet hair, a journal and a familiar red phone and a few papers.
It's obvious where he had come from, now that he looks at it the journal seemed a bit familiar as well.
"Kise, you fool before you come over here go dry your hair, I will not have you shaming my family name by posing a health hazard unto yourself."
Kise's lips twitched he was almost about to protest but Midorima seemed to hold a particular fire, it was the pride of a doctor family, this reminds him never to question a Shin-chan when his mother-hen switch was turned on.
Kise begrudged sighed "Midorimachii can be quite the mother-hen"
Earning him a choked protest.
"Well I had a towel in my room… follow me then we can continue this in my room."
Before Midorima could protest Kise says:
"Don't worry Midorimachii I tidied up relax it won't be like last time."
"I hope for your sake and mine that's true…" he groused.
Earning a whine from Kise.
Entering in he wasn't sure what exactly to expect, he envisioned his room to have light yellow walls, and perhaps plushies and other trinkets, he was awestricken when he saw that whatever he imagined turned out to be true well at least in some aspects like, moonbeam like yellow walls, white wooden furniture, a bed horizontal to the windows, a dressing table what he didn't expect were grey curtains that covered the sliding door to a balcony and a bookshelf littered with collections of different manga, light novels and console games well it wasn't uncommon in Japan to have grey curtains just he didn't expect Kise in particular to have them but oddly, it fits.
"I see you're ever the same at least it's not a biohazard this time…"
"Midorimachii overexaggerates…" he said pouting ever so slightly.
"There was a week-old pizza under the bed…"
Kise says nothing.
Takao takes this as his liberty to speak up, "So why am I here now?" he asked.
Kise beams a large grin and stares intensely into his eyes, "Tell me all you know about Kurokochii."
The room went heavily mute.
Kise spoke again "Kurokochii's mom she gave me this journal… you said 'a story for another time,' after I asked you about your nickname for him…" Kise stared straight into his eyes as if he was trying to find his soul. "Please… there's a bunch of numbers maybe if you tell me I can figure out what it means…"
Takao sighs.
So that's what he was called for.
Kise anticipated what he was about to say.
Midorima gave him a troubled glare.
He caved and tells them
It was quite strange how he met him, truthfully it was like to everyone else he just didn't exist.
A boy with blue hair solemnly reads fine literature at the public library.
There was nothing particularly interesting about him.
Yet he was interesting at least his eyes and hair and his particular deadpan were.
Honestly, if his computer hadn't shut down that afternoon, if he hadn't procrastinated, probably would've never seen him or at least gone up to him to ask.
"I've seen you before… do I know you?"
Yes, he could've sworn he had seen him somewhere at school.
He stared wide-eyed almost surprised he was seen.
Yet he quickly regains his composure.
"Are you Takao Kazumari-kun?"
It was now his turn to be startled.
He nods.
The boy now places his book down, he bows slightly whilst sitting.
"Nice to meet you I am Kuroko Tetsuya, we are in the same class."
That's how he recognised him.
Kuroko then added, "I'm surprised you saw me."
"Of course, I saw you, you're not a ghost!" he exclaims, gaining several glares and several hushes, he really didn't mean to shout but it was shocking to him to hear Kuroko say that.
"I suppose you're right…"
Midorima sighs, "Honestly… it's no surprise he was in the library committee and I didn't notice him for months until I dumped into him and he had sustained a head injury…"
"How do you even hit someone that hard Midorimachii?"
"I was in a rush… and he hit his head on the doorframe…"
Midorima sat in the judgment of Kise's eyes.
Takao places a hand on his shoulder, "Shin-chan don't worry I know it was an accident… you won't intentionally hurt someone..." he pauses "to that extent…" he gives Midorima his most hearty grin.
Midorima blushes ever so slightly.
"But that's just one meeting you would've met up a few times especially considering you had a nickname for him."
Takao nods
The next day he saw him in school, it was odd no one casts even a glance at him
He'd imagine he wouldn't appreciate the sudden attention, so he slides almost fox-like and places a little paper at the side of Kuroko's elbow containing his phone number.
This action does not go unnoticed by the latter.
He shushes him, grins and slides back into his seat.
Kuroko looks at the paper he then looks at him and gives him a warm ghost of a smile.
"A normal meet-up with Kurokochii what's that like?"
They both turn to him, but then Midorima gives him a particular look as he grimaces on his meeting with him, when he comes to the realisation that he too did not have a normal meeting experience with Kuroko.
"What do you mean Kise?" Takao asked.
Kise gave him a weak laugh as he rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment "He scared me half to death, well Kagamichii and Aominechii were in on it, but he genuinely had me thinking he was a ghost…"
Takao explodes in laughter, "That's just like Tet-chan!"
"Really?" this was obviously news to Midorima, "but he looked so quiet… we're talking about the same Kuroko Tetsuya, right?"
"Oh Shin-chan yes we are Tet-chan was quiet but he's like an eel hard to hold onto." He grins "Akashi would've had a lot of trouble with him, he was much too clever for his own good, they would've made an interesting pair."
Kise hummed.
"I doubt that he didn't know how to play shogi he and Akashi wouldn't get along."
"I highly doubt that," Kise said earning inquiring looks from both of them, "Kurokochii was not particularly skilled in basketball in a traditional sense I don't think he even memorised the formations well as we would, well mostly cause in streetball it didn't matter… but the way he was able to get his opposition exactly where he wanted was admirable that's why… I…" Kise harshly swallows "I think Kurokochii played those online chess matches too…"
Kise pauses but continues "Kurokochii's father wouldn't keep his dog around if it did not have an attack command, If Kurokochii wasn't clever or strategic his father wouldn't have kept him, the journal is our proof of that."
Kise scrambles to find a page that proves his point.
Page 20
Mother and I stopped going out to the parks to walk Nigou…
I'm worried for Nigou he seems particularly pent up I don't blame him.
Ever since I suggested that business proposition to market my playing and to allow my debut, father has been growing colder and colder, I did not plan for this, we are gaining extra money for investment but his eyes only see dollar bills now, Aomine warned me I should've listened.
I hope I can see a beautiful scenery soon to write here.
Until the next.
8 – H
"Tet-chan had some good business ideas I'm not that surprised there but, his flaw is he sees no flaws, no rather he refuses to see human flaws, no… rather than saying that he's in love with the idea of second chances, if he must sacrifice himself for a chance of 'saving' that other person… he'll do it it's too self-destructive it's like he doesn't view himself as a human but a tool… it's scary…."
Takao laughs nervously as Midorima gives him a concerned look, "Shin-chan, I'm sorry… it just grates on me… I think it's the same for Hanamiya…"
Midorima now asks "What does he have to do in this?"
"A lot more than you think… he tried helping Hanamiya and he got mad at Tet-chan for trying to help him he screamed at Tet-chan so many times but Tet-chan just stood there and took it…"
Kise grew grim.
"I never liked when Kurokochii did that, it's insanity… it's like he wants to suck up every bad and evil thing and drown in it…"
"Why do you think Kuroko would do something like that?"
"Kurokochii acts very weird when you mention words like 'good boy' or 'good child'…"
Takao ponders for a bit… "Right, that reminds me…"
After he had given his number to Kuroko, Takao would receive a message.
'This is Kuroko Tetsuya' it read.
He scrambles to save the number.
He then calls it.
But it is immediately declined.
'I cannot receive phone calls I'm sorry do you mind if we just text?'
He does not mind he has many friends like that.
He agrees.
"Well, Kurokochii's dad was strict…"
"Akashi only ever texted me as well, his cellular device was to be turned off at a certain time, maybe it's the same for him?"
"Yeah, that seemed like something his father would do too…"
They had decided to meet up at the arcade, the flashing lights and the various loud sounds coming from each station were not out of the ordinary for him.
He thought he would be out of his element here, but Kuroko remained as unbothered as ever.
He concluded it was just him masking his anxiousness but that was until he inserted his card into the machine.
'Welcome back Kage3101'
'Well shit' he thought. 'I'm gonna get my ass beat.'
And so he did.
Yet he was content he never had that much fun with someone at an arcade.
Kuroko gave him a lot of tips for Chunithm he was able to choose a harder difficulty on most songs.
Most because End mark and Disappearance of Hatsune Miku still kicked his ass.
Kuroko on the other hand was a beast.
He played every song on Master, it scared him.
End Mark, Intense Voice, Don't Fight the Music, Disappearance.
Kuroko flew through them with ease.
Takao laughs at how outclassed he was then points to Kuroko "You better prepare Tet-chan I'm coming for your throne."
Kuroko smiles back at him but before he can respond.
Kuroko's phone furiously rang in his pocket.
Kuroko reads the caller ID.
Sheer panic immediately shows on his face.
It startles him.
Kuroko runs outside.
Takao knows he can be particularly out of place at times but he couldn't help it this time.
He followed him.
He had taken a liking to him and if he was in trouble he wanted to help.
"Sorry… Yes, I will be there… I apologise… I will not be bad again… I am coming home… I am not… I was practising… Yes, father… please not that father… please one more chance… no I am not… no I didn't mean to… please forgive me… I know father… thank you, father…"
He wasn't sure what he had just heard he isn't sure he wants to know.
Kuroko turns to him.
"I must go Takao, my father said I have something to do.
He nods, but ultimately there was just an awful feeling in his gut that afternoon.
"I shouldn't have done that." He says to himself.
Kise was stricken with horror.
"You don't think…" he whispers in desperation that whatever he was thinking would not turn out to be the case.
"I not quite sure… even if he was Tet-chan would hardly show it but..."
Monday morning Kuroko walked into class he had assumed everything was alright, Kuroko did everything routinely, like writing that he was present on the chalkboard.
That was until he had seen his face.
His usual calm features looked tense, well as tense as it could look when all Kuroko was known for was his deadpan.
Well as Kuroko sits Takao gets a better view of his expression in what little he gave.
Overwhelmed, exhausted, is what comes to mind.
He was almost in discomfort.
He isn't sure he should ask.
He doesn't.
"Kurokochii…" is all Kise could bring himself to say.
"Did he show any signs of pain?" Midorima asks
"Not that I know of…"
"Gaslighting…" he said.
"Huh?"
"Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and manipulation. Gaslighting happens when an abuser makes you question your beliefs and perception of reality." Midorima continues "People go surface level with it as someone saying the person is being dramatic, but even the 'good child' thing is gaslighting…"
"Good child… thing?"
Both Kise and Takao were confused.
"If what you said is exactly what he said—"
"It is!" Takao exclaimed, earning a nod from Midorima.
Midorima continued. "His father might've said something like 'you don't want to be a bad or troublesome child now do you?' in other words he is taking activities that he as a teenage boy should enjoy and is entitled to and twisting his perspective of what should be considered bad or good "
Kise paled.
He scrambled for the notebook again.
Page 27
I really wanted to watch the fireworks this year with Aomine-kun, Kagami-kun and Momoi-san.
I figured I would ask father two or three months in advance.
He said no.
If I were good things would've been different.
I am not good I am inconveniencing him and my mother.
I need to become good.
I am not good?
I am really beginning to dislike this book, this is not what my mother wanted me to write in it.
Someone save me.
T – 20
They keep reading.
Page 28
Nigou and I were finally able to go to the park, the setting sky casts quite a lovely umbrae of pink and fiery orange. The sun almost made Nigou's coat glisten. I wish I had brought a camera. Nigou looked quite picturesque.
I – 9
Page 29
On there was a picture almost a selfie view of his mother sitting under the cherry blossoms several petals were caught on Nigou's fur, as his mother seemed to gracefully pluck them off one by one.
They turned the photo around.
I can never get tired of seeing them.
S – 19 E A – 1
Page 34
I don't know, what I am supposed to do anymore, I feel like what I'm doing is wrong but I am told by father I am disillusioned, Is this what it means to be a good person? I feel awful, I am trying to talk to Hanamiya-san and Haizki-kun, Honami-san says someone who helps others is a good person…
I feel like I am losing myself.
I sound ridiculous.
Father says I am helping him and mother… yet, I feel no fulfilment.
Homani-san says that once a good person helps someone they feel good about it.
I feel awful, am I bad?
I don't think I am evil.
But… why do I feel so awful playing the piano?
Page 37
Give it all to me.
I am bad.
I am tainted
I've become disgusting, I've become so useless, it's my fault father is losing money because of me.
I can't save anyone, not even myself.
N – 14.
Just what the hell did he see?
"This is crazy… this is not normal," Kise says
Takao and Midorima both felt physically ill.
It was terrifying.
Page 49
Will I ever be good again?
Page 89
This book is no longer used as I intended to, in my final attempts to make things right.
God is punishing me for my sins.
To whom it may concern.
20 1 11 15 20 8 9 19 10 15 21 18 14 1 12 1 14 4 9 20 1 20 19 5 1
A – Z
1 – 26
They didn't want to continue but there was now a cypher.
They were in too deep.
They put aside Akashi's phone they'll deal with that other mess later.
Takao casually flips through the journal.
He took notice of a guy who looked almost like Kuroko.
He turns over the photo there is text:
Chihiro-kun should really stop scowling so much it's ruining the sunset on the beach lol~
"Chihiro… Who's that?" he mumbles "what's he like a cousin or something?"
Kise leans in "Mayuzumi-san" he exclaimed.
"Who is that and why does it look he look so similar to Kuroko?" Midorima then asked
"Mayuzumi-san is Kurokochii's cousin, he used to go to our school but graduated right before Kurokochii died, so when he was in his second year, with Kasamatsu-san."
"Heh…?" he curiously drawls out, it all he was reduced to, despite ironically being right about them being related he did not sign up for whatever investigation Kise was doing, he only came for Midorima, well to see a flustered Midorima, or to offer any emotional support he could, now here he was way too deep into everything that points to Kuroko having that saviour complex thing he heard about.
He looked over to the said person he did this for, he seemed drained as well.
Kise was the same but his determination to find out anything about the numbers on page 89 pushed him through.
"Is there a way we can get to Mayuzumi?" Midorima suggests, as he could imagine, that Midorima was exhausted.
Midorima at another time, would've probably considered asking for Mayuzumi to be shameless, and perhaps demeriting but Takao had seen the male massage his temples a bit too much.
It was frustrating, so in all honesty, he would do the same.
"Mibuchi-senpai." Kise says.
"What do they have to do about this?" Midorima asked.
"Well from what I heard Mibuchi-senpai and Mayuzumi-san were close in the Student Council…" Kise pauses as if he wanted to backtrack what he was saying "Well close for his standards…" Kise then props his chin up using his hands "Now how do we even get Mibuchi's number…?" he shoots up from his seat "Akashichii!" he unplugs the phone and throws it to Midorima who catches it in a panic, "Do you know the password?"
Truthfully Midorima didn't know it in confidence, had an idea of what it was, honestly for the years he had known Akashi it could only be two things, his mother and a fragment of his childhood, Yoshikage, he knows for sure that his mother's name is his laptop password so naturally, he types that in.
'Akashi Shiori'
'Password is incorrect.'
'Shiori'
'Password is incorrect.'
"Well it wasn't that…" he grumbles
'Yoshikage'
'Password is incorrect.'
He tries typing in Akashi's birthday
'Password is incorrect.'
He types in 'Ever victorious'
'Password is incorrect.'
He remembers Akashi making a big deal of his mother's birthday.
He types that in.
'Password is incorrect 5 more attempts'
'Shogi'
'Password is incorrect 4 more attempts'
He tries something stupid.
'Midorima is the bestest friend'
'Password is incorrect 3 more attempts'
Takao bursts into laughter.
"Yeah… I wasn't expecting that to work anyways…"
He turns to Kise, "tell me" he says "who was his favourite character in those gacha games?"
"Modrimachii is this really the time?"
"Not for that you fool, it could be a potential password!" he protests.
Kise ponders on it, "For females, it was either Lady Avalon well that's just Proto Merlin or Ereshkigal" he stopped to think again, "for males it's quite a list…"
Takao raises his eyebrows at that.
Kise clears his throat, "There's Bedivere, Gawain, Arthur Prototype, Charlemagne, Ozymandias, Gilgamesh caster the specification on the caster is very important, Arjuna and Karna, he mentioned also hoping they bring the male version of Kama, Moriarty Ruler like Caster Gil the specification on the Ruler class is very important and he talked about Ashiya Douman a lot in that month…"
…
Takao breaks the silence first, "Damn I can't even complain… that's some good taste especially Ozy and male Kama is super-hot… especially Redrop's recent art of him… but did not expect Ashiya Douman." Takao says, he turns to Midorima and grins, "Don't worry Shin-chan Kama may be a god of love but I love you even more." He coos.
Midorima flushes furiously, "Shameless…" he mumbles.
Kise ignores them, he's seen Takao tease Midorima too many times in practice, he was to expect it. "Yeah it was a surprise to me too he said something about him being evil yet chaotic and that's why he liked him."
Midorima abandons his embarrassment and enters a few of those names.
The phone locks for seven minutes.
In frustration, Midorima tossed the phone on the bed and leans back on the chair with a groan.
Takao pats his shoulder.
That's when he sees something.
If it wasn't for Midorima's frustration, he wouldn't have seen that the back of the phone was slightly uplifted.
He rushes over to the phone gaining the attention of both Kise and Midorima and immediately starts peeling off the back.
A little paper flutters out of the phone.
'Axium Crisis.' Is written on it.
"Oh that's a banger it's a good Art core piece, funny that was also Tet-chan's favourite non-classical track."
They anxiously look at the countdown on the phone to end.
'Three, two, one.' Takao counts
He types, 'Axium Crisis.'
The phone finally unlocks.
They pump their fists in the air with the same energy they would a championship victory.
They quickly navigate to contacts
There wasn't much, to search through Akashi rarely kept anyone in his contact list, most messages were from unsaved numbers, he had almost everyone in the basketball club's number, well except Takao, Takao feigns offence but is then scolded by Midorima.
Finally, they see it 'Mibuchi Reo'
They call it.
Not even three rings pass there is an answer.
"Who is this and why do you have Sei-chan's phone?"
Kise didn't expect Mibuchi to know, honestly, he didn't expect anyone to know, he woke up one morning to find a package in his mailbox, in that generously plastic-wrapped package was a familiar red-cased phone.
He had only one question.
Why him?
He looks to Midorima.
Midorima understood what he meant.
"This is Midorima."
Notes:
Chapter 1 out of 3 or 4 (Idk it depends)
I really wanted to shed a different light on Akashi and Kuroko with this one.
MidoTaka is very much established here.
After all, that was Kise and Akashi's perspective in the other two stories.
The cypher is not that hard but in the context that these are Japanese high school students, it might be.
Axium Crisis is a very important plot device
Well, who would've thought my one-off reference to Mibuchi and Mayuzumi would be coming back in the future?
Not really me, because this was supposed to be a one-shot.
I really love the idea of the KnB cast playing FGO.
This headcanon started after seeing a KnB artist who also played FGO drawing Nijimura doing a ten pull and getting nothing and raging.
I admitted to really loving FGO in the last story of this series.
Akashi in the character bible said he likes a woman of dignity.
Out of all of the female servants, I chose Lady Avalon and Ereshkigal cause they are cute and quite honestly I thought they fit the role best, there are a lot more but I figured he would like their designs the mostBrynhildr would be another good choice.
As for the men...
I chose Charle, Arthur and Gawain because of their valour.
As for the others I simp for them okay that and Gilgamesh Caster has my heart, Gilgamesh caster is the ideal king and I feel that would be the selling point for Akashi plus Gilgamesh is very fashionable.
If this interests do stay tuned.
Thank you to those who did read my other two stories.
Comments and Constructive criticism are always appreciated.