Disclaimer: I do not own Good Omens or any of the characters, except my OC(s).
I recently got into the Good Omens fandom, and while I do think Aziraphale and Crowley are already husbands, there are not enough fics with Crowley/Other, 'cos he's beautiful. Here's my own contribution. I sometimes wonder if there are other celestial beings concerned with more than just humankind, and I found an article on angels governing animals which I thought was interesting, and which I wanted to incorporate. I also found that there were multiple ranks of angels and demons, so that was cool too. I'm not Christian, and if you're Christian, you might want to avoid this fic. This is a Crowley/Original Female Character and a friendship fic among Aziraphale, Crowley, and the OC
I really should be working on my other fic, but eh. I can do both. I think.
Information on other angels: the-archangel-guide-to-the-animal-world
If you enjoy this work, be sure to kudo/comment/subscribe! Also, if you're a fan of Death Note, do check out my other fic, A Test of Equanimity, as well! :D
Chapter 1
3004 B.C., Mesopotamia.
The sky was loaded with dark storm clouds. A crowd of hecklers sneered at a man, named Noah, as he understood it, who was loading an ark with two of every kind of creature. Curious as always, Crawley had made sure he was available to watch the spectacle. Sure enough, Aziraphale was easy to spot amidst the sea of humans. Angels were easy to spot. There was a purity to their scent, and an ethereal, pearly glow to their features, if one knew what to look for. Crawley tapped Aziraphale on his right shoulder, then quickly shimmied to his left. A demon had to take his entertainment where he could get it, you know.
"Hello, Aziraphale!" he greeted the absentminded angel.
"Crawley," returned the unusually solemn angel.
"So," Crawley smirked, focused on Aziraphale, "giving the mortals a flaming sword. How did that work out for you?" He wasn't letting that one go, and he had to admit, he was a tad curious about the fallout.
"The Almighty has neglected to mention it again," Aziraphale replied, his eyes still fixed ahead.
"Lucky indeed. Probably a good thing." Crawley said, looking around. He spied three figures hovering in the air, guiding the animals. "What's all this then? Build a big boat and fill it with a traveling zoo? Who're they?" The humans did not appear to be able to see them.
"From what I hear, God's a bit tetchy." Aziraphale said, "Wiping out the human race. Big storm. And they are-" He paused. "Well, apparently the Almighty was getting a little concerned about the rest of Her creations. She's allocated each of them two angels."
"She's wiping out all of them?" Crawley asked, looking wildly appalled. Whatever he'd expected, it wasn't this. "And do you lot have enough manpower to spare on this?" He turned to stare again at the three other angels, who appeared not to concern themselves with the two of them. That was new. Angels tended to be rather squeamish around his lot.
Where Aziraphale shone a subtle pearly white, the one guiding an animal herder shone a cheerful sunshine yellow. The one concerned with the fish glowed green, while the last, who appeared to be guiding the birds, was covered in a salmon pink flame. The former two angels looked the same as he'd come to expect, with large white wings on a humanoid frame, but the last had six flaming wings so huge that all he could see was wing. Was that too much wing for one being? Crawley frowned, trying to see what lay behind those layers of feathers. Aziraphale's voice brought him out of his thoughts.
"No," he said rather bitterly, "just the locals. I don't believe the Almighty's upset with the Chinese. Or the Native Americans. Or the Australians."
"Yet," Crawley said quietly. Because that always was the case, wasn't it? Nothing could keep up with that level of perfection demanded of them all, least of all humans, or him, for that matter.
Probably guessing what he was thinking, Aziraphale hastened to add, "And God's not actually going to wipe out all the locals. I mean, Noah up there, his family, their sons, their wives, they're all going to be fine."
"But they're drowning everyone else?" Crawley asked incredulously. He looked around, and all that would be left behind disgusted him. "Not the kids?" Crawley continued, still disbelieving. "You can't kill kids."
"Mm-hmm," Aziraphale nodded sagely in response to Crawley's look of disgust.
"Well, that's more the kind of thing you'd expect my lot to do," Crawley retorted. Surely even he could see that?
"Yes, but when it's done, the Almighty's going to put up a new thing, called a 'rain bow', as a promise not to drown everyone again." Aziraphale insisted.
"How kind," Crawley drawled.
"You can't judge the Almighty," Aziraphale maintained. "God's plans are—"
"Are you going to say 'ineffable?'" Crawley asked, an edge to his voice. This was ceasing to be amusing, and Aziraphale knew it, too. The angel was quiet before he answered, "Possibly."
Crawley could have grilled Aziraphale more, but he heard a whinny in the distance.
"Oy! Shem! That unicorn's going to make a run for it!" Crawley called out. Why he did it, he wasn't sure. Boredom, perhaps. Or perhaps it was because one didn't get such creatures in hell.
Tinkling laughter broke out. "Yeah, Fhelyai!" It was the salmon-pink angel. "That unicorn's going to make a run for it!" She laughed harder as the yellow angel guided the hapless Shem to start chasing after the errant steed.
'Oh, what a Shem! What a Shem, Fhelyai!" she continued, laughing and making somersaults in the air as the unicorn galloped faster than Shem could run. It was then that Crawley could make out a feminine, petite, humanoid form. Yup, that was way too much wing.
"A little more help and a lot less taunting would do more good, thanks!" The beleaguered angel, presumably Fhelyai, retorted.
The angel of birds was about to reply when she suddenly gasped. "Oy Phoenix! Not you, too! You're supposed to go back to the Garden of Eden!" As the flaming bird decided to make a break for it, the angel visibly gathered herself, then emitted a long, fearsome, raptor-like shriek that effectively paralysed the unruly bird, as well as every living being present. Including Crawley and Aziraphale. Hell, his ears were still ringing.
"There we go!" the bird angel cheered, tucking the flaming bird under her arm like a turkey. "Oh, don't be a baby, Fhelyai! Now you've got your unicorn, haven't you? Bringing him to Eden too, eh?"
She must've suddenly noticed Crawley staring, for she abruptly snapped her head in his direction, her startled eyes meeting his. They were a vivid shade of orange amber, like sunlight through clear black tea. "What's this, then?"
In the blink of an eye, she was hovering in front of him. "It's rather rare to see your lot and our lot mix. Bhokpi, Seraph, Guardian of Birds, at your service!" She saluted them both as Crawley blinked. He wasn't used to such treatment from celestial beings. In his experience, some of their lot tended to smite his kind strictly harder than they had to, while others regarded them with cool disdain or disinterest, or, in Aziraphale's case, nervous reluctance. Bhokpi peered closer at him. "Wait a minute, it's been a while, hasn't it, Raph- Uh, er- Strike that, mistaken identity, how may I address you?"
What was that all about? Well, if an angel, nay, a seraph could be cordial, then so could he.
"Crawley, Serpent formerly of Eden." Bhokpi tilted her head rather oddly at that, but merely smiled before addressing Aziraphale. By this time, her compatriots had seen fit to join them.
"Ah- er, Aziraphale, Principality, Angel of the Eastern Gate of Eden," the angel murmured nervously, switching his gaze from one angel to the next. He didn't seem inclined to say more. He was likely too intimidated.
"Fhelyai, Virtue, Guardian of Beasts."
"Joules, Archangel, Guardian of Sea-Dwellers."
Ah, those were more the reactions Crawley was expecting. Not quite unfriendly, but not quite cordial, either. Though, they weren't half as hostile as he was used to. He stared unblinkingly at Bhokpi, swaying slightly. It was a reflex when he spotted something of interest.
"So… A seraph? I've never had the opportunity to see one of your kind up close," Crawley drawled. Because yes, he was curious. The seraphim were said to be the closest to the Almighty, and all he could remember of seeing them were wings. Heaps and heaps of wings, covering their heads, their feet, everything. He certainly hadn't expected anything humanoid.
"Well, this is just my corporeal body," Bhokpi laughed. "Our original forms are more… glowy… with more, uh, eyes, but yes, we are more than wings." She nodded at him knowingly as he finally broke his gaze away, a little mortified.
"We're not in the Humankind Governance department," she continued. "We've more to do with the rest of God's creations, as you can see." She waved her free arm at the animals on the ark. Ah, he supposed that explained it. Crawley had never met them himself, but he'd heard that there was a select group of angels which kept to themselves and were, overall, less concerned with absolute moralities and more about tending to the rest of creation, since the humans couldn't do it alone.
Thankfully, that distracted him quickly from his uncharacteristic state of mortification. "And your lot is killing everything else!" Crawley repeated, ignoring Aziraphale's "Crawley!". He certainly wasn't going to be intimidated by the angels in front of him. If the seraphim were the closest to the Almighty, perhaps she'd have some better answers.
"Well… we aren't really consulted on policy decisions, you know," Bhokpi started, then hesitated. "Have you heard about the Nephilim?"
At his blank stare (and amid outraged hushing from the other two), Bhokpi continued, a conspiratorial tone to her lowered voice as she leaned forward towards him and Aziraphale. "Well, the Watchers- The Sons of God cavorted with the Daughters of Man, and they created a race of giant superhumans. The Almighty didn't like that, and this flood was planned partially to cleanse the Earth of these… crossbreeds." She turned her attention to Crawley. "Your ranks might be increasing soon, I hear. Some Nephilim are joining you."
Aziraphale groaned, and Crawley agreed with the sentiment, though inwardly. There was likely to be a bloodbath as everyone down under scrambled to re-establish their rankings. If he could stay up here, he'd be free of that hassle. Crawley wasn't really one for brawling. Tempting and trickery were more his style. He liked to think he was more of an ideas guy.
Seeing that none of them were ready to say anything more, Bhokpi moved back. "Well, it was nice meeting you guys. An angel and a demon civilly side by side, now that's a sight you don't see every day!"
As Aziraphale began to protest, Bhokpi shrugged, smiling. "We fall under different jurisdictions, so we aren't going to interfere. Though, that would mean we might not meet all that much. Let's keep in touch, alright? See you around!"
Lightning flashed, and the three angels were gone. Thunder crashed, the crowd around them gasped and rain began to fall, drenching the Snake and the Principality.