Bleach Cross/Across the Dimensions: Return of the Full Fifth Division Arc: Fifth Division in the Red
When Momo Hinamori discovers how far her division in debt, she discovers an American reality dating show and decides it would be a good fund raiser. After all, her taicho is an American, so it should be alright? Meanwhile, Shirahime thanks Mayuri Kurotsuchi for giving her the opportunity to have "the talk" with her children and Momo. Run Mayuri, run.

Occurs after "After DiamondDust" and "Only Memories Remain" (MA Only), sometime shortly after Momo Hinamori wakes up from her coma and Shirahime adopts Daichi Takeya.

This is a spoof of reality tv dating shows, Bleach style. You have been warned.

Pairings: Shirahime/Others (Everyone?) Yes, everyone. This is a spoof after all.

Notes:

This rated M version will omit some of the MA version or have alternative scenes. I have noted these in the story. For the full "In the Red" experience, check the MA version out on my website or via AO3. Not intended for minors or those sensitive to certain situations.

Some events and relationship backgrounds referred to are only in the MA versions of previous stories. This includes events with Yumichika and Shinjiro (original character). Please see Cast List (chapter 1) for more information.

This is a work of fanfiction using characters and elements from Bleach, which is property of Tite Kubo and applicable others. Eugena does not claim any ownership to the original Bleach characters or world. This fanwork is written for entertainment purposes and not for profit. See also disclaimer and/or author's note(s) at the end of chapter.

天国的白雪公主

Originally written on or before 11/29/2009 (Chapters 1-3)

Opening Theme: Kuchibiru Kara Romantica by AAA
Ending Theme: Aitai Riyuu by AAA

Fifth Division in the Red
A Bleach: Cross Story
by Eugena

Rated M Version

Chapter One: Present for Taicho

天国的白雪公主

Momo Hinamori Voice Over:

Previously on Bleach: Across the Dimensions:

I'm Momo Hinamori, fifth division fukutaicho. I didn't always like my taicho, Shirahime Thorne. She's the reincarnation of Heaven's Princess. She is a human turned shinigami.

My former taicho, Sosuke Aizen, tried to kill me. But I wanted to believe the good in him. Imagine my anger when I awoke and this shinigami who had no business being a shinigami - let alone a taicho - was my new taicho.

But I've grown fond of her. Along the way, she found Daichi Takeya, whom she adopted and is now the third seat of the fifth division. He's not her only child. There's Yachiru Kusajishi, her daughter from a previous incarnation.

As fukutaicho, I'm supposed to help out. My taicho's American. She knows English but isn't really good at Japanese. I try to have our documents translated, but some of them I just handle. Take for instance our accounting books.

I really should have looked at them sooner. . . .

天国的白雪公主

SOUL SOCIETY - FIFTH DIVISION - THORNE TAICHO'S QUARTERS

Momo Hinamori, long-time fukutaicho of the fifth division, looked at the numbers yet again. Then again. She grimaced and began to crumble the paper.

"Taicho's going to be upset," she grumbled.

Behind her, Daichi Thorne Takeya, the division's third seat, paused in his quest to archive stacks of books. He turned to her. "What's the matter, fukutaicho?"

She stood, turning to him with a defeated look. "I'm such a failure."

"Oh, come on," Daichi said. "Thorne Taicho will solve it."

She huffed and closed her eyes. "See for yourself."

Daichi walked over to his taicho's desk. He stared at the paper. He stepped back and then read again. Granted, his reading skills were not up to par. He tried again.

"Of course," Hinamori interrupted his thoughts, "I don't have to tell her. We could solve this ourselves."

Takeya continued to stare at the paper. He should ask Obaa-san to help him read better. Finally, the writing clicked into place. "Hinamori, we are this far in debt? Are you certain?"

"If only I had woken up sooner," Hinamori lamented. "If only I had been here when she first -." The word appropriately "died" on her tongue. She could not bring herself to say "when taicho first died." Even if she could, she had not the heart under any means to say that in front of Daichi.

Daichi's expression turned grim for a moment. It wasn't like he didn't know. In a way, he felt he knew the truth of it more than Momo.

Turning his thoughts back to his duty, he said, "Taicho doesn't know. And she won't know - at least not for a while. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't tell her."

天国的白雪公主

SOUL SOCIETY - TWELFTH DIVISION - RESEARCH SECTION

Rin brought Thorne Taicho a cup of tea. She smiled at him in thanks but hid her suspicious look at the drink itself. She may be able to trust Rin alone, maybe, but certainly not Kurotsuchi Taicho. The man would do anything for his research. In the name of research, perhaps he truly wasn't "man" anymore. Who knew what lay behind his mask - the layers of his makeup and the persona inside?

Rin bent over the controls of a modified television. Turning dials, he said proudly to her, "This is one of your country's shows." It wasn't everyday someone could give a taicho - no, a member of royalty - a unique gift, and he felt honored for this opportunity.

Thorne turned, sensing Nemu Kurotsuchi's reiatsu.

The woman smiled at her. "Please enjoy your tea, Shinnouhi. Mayuri-sama would not harm you."

Thorne could never tell Nemu to call her taicho. Her title as the Shinnouhi (Imperial Princess) was much higher than a mere taicho. Mayuri taught Nemu to always be formal and address others by their title and name. As Shinnouhi, no other held that title. So addressing her and including her name might be seen by some as disrespectful. There was no need to address her by name in any means, except as Thorne Taicho in the presence of those who did not know Thorne was the crown prince's betrothed.

As for Mayuri himself, Thorne knew without doubt he would not harm her due to royal mandate. If he did, zero division would kill him, and perhaps take their time doing so. She did not doubt Crown Prince's Shiroyuki's resolve to kill anyone that harmed her.

Yet she knew the portal between Soul Society and the House of the King worked less these days. Until Aizen and his troops were dead, she could not depend on the royal family's protection.

Thorne lifted the tea to her lips and drank, knowing she laid her life in Kurotsuchi's hands.

"Is it to your liking, Shinnouhi?" he asked.

She kept calm, wanting as usual to freak out over his appearance. "Hai. Arigato, Kurotsuchi Taicho." Sometimes, she did go without his translator. Sometimes she remembered.

"It's ready!" Rin announced excitedly. A look from his taicho calmed him. Always present yourselves with dignity in front of royalty. School all emotions.

Thorne treated the boy to a brief smile of appreciation, assuring him that his excitement was acceptable.

And if Shinnouhi said it was, Mayuri could not complain much.

"Perhaps it is that new dancing show I've missed," she hoped.

With one look to an obnoxious announcer, she knew her hope was wrong.

"Welcome back to Season Forty of The Sun Finally Rises on My Marriage!" the peppy voice shouted.

"Anything but this," Thorne muttered under her breath.

Away from America for so long, and she had forgotten just how pathetic some of the show selections were.

"Anniversary season! Part one!" The man on tv shouted again.

"Gods no, anniversary?" she whined, plastering a fake smile on her face.

A woman with obviously fake eyelashes pressed her face onto one of the men on the show, smothering him with kisses. After a few moments, the camera cut away.

"What happened?" Rin asked.

"Ask someone when you are older," Thorne answered.

Rin messed with the dials again.

"Yachiru is very busy about now, right?" Thorne asked aloud to no one in particular.

"Should I go get her for you?" Nemu offered.

"No!"

"Here it is!" Rin chimed in.

The picture returned. The scenery shifted dramatically, perhaps a few episodes later. The woman's face streamed with tears. She bawled loudly. Thorne waited for another cutaway to the man cashing in the "chips" of his new fame.

"Taicho!" Hinamori called to her, rushing in from outside. "Taicho!"

"I'm okay, Momo," she assured her. "It was just someone on the television."

Hinamori came closer to watch the scene with the others.

The crying woman turned square to the camera, what an actor would call an aside. What exactly is this woman thinking?

Another thought struck Thorne. "Is Daichi with you, Momo?"

Between the disgustingly fake tears, the woman on tv lamented, "My one true love!"

"No," Momo said. "Should I get him?" she offered.

"Out of everyone I picked him!" the woman cried more.

"No - definitely - no."

The woman on tv continued, "And he has to go home to take care of his dying sister - or aunt - or - oh who the (bleep) cares who it was? What about me? He has some (bleep) (bleep) priorities!"

"But Shinnouhi," Rin interjected, "I would be honored to be presenting this not only to you but to your children as well."

"It's okay, really," she insisted, keeping herself calm, "I'm at a loss of words for just myself."

Glancing back to the screen, she mildly wondered at the truth behind the man's departure.

Another camera picks that contestant up as he leaves the show. "It's not like I had the chance anyway. After all, she and the other men would (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep). You know, you execs should really pay for -," he paused. "Never mind. It isn't as if you would include the rest of my comment, would you? Perhaps if this was a daytime drama then -." The man groans. "You know, you should actually bring back soap operas. They would improve your ratings. In fact -."

The man disappeared as Mayuri turned the show off. Rin and Momo looked dumbfounded at the screen. Mayuri was on the cusp of commenting when Thorne interrupted, "Sensitive ears."

"Thank you, Rin," she turned to the boy. "Very thoughtful of you."

"You didn't like it," he said.

"No, no. This was just a bad season for it," she insisted. "This year's contestant was out to do anything to get an Emmy. There are better seasons." Maybe in a different universe. Feel free to skip every season. What the (bleep) is this show?

"Forgive me, Shinnouhi," Rin fell at her feet. "I didn't mean to offend you!"

"Nonsense," she insisted, helping him up. "All you need is a few more adjustments, and you can catch a great show. Like that new dancing one I completely missed out on."

"Taicho, what kind of show was that?" Hinamori asked. "And what's an Emmy?"

"An Emmy is an award given to actors. Most television shows are fiction, with the actors playing characters. This one, however, is called reality television. It means a person is themselves on television. Or supposedly anyway."

"But that woman was -."

"Over acting. She wanted to get famous. So some people come on as a made up version of themselves to attract attention and still be famous long after their stint on that show is done. Some of the men on that show were doing that, too. I don't know how many of the guys will be getting paid on that show but getting famous might give them a chance to get discovered and become the actor they always wanted to be."

"They get paid?" Hinamori asked.

"I think the main star gets paid. This year it's a woman with male contestants, but they might change that next season. You see, the woman goes out on dates with the guys. Every week, she might choose to kick one off the show. Or there is some weird random contest the viewers suggest to cut down on the numbers. Eventually, she chooses one. And that's the prize."

"Prize?" Hinamori asked.

"The man lives," Mayuri suggested. "And doesn't get 'cut down' as you say from the viewers."

She looked at Mayuri nervously. "Lost in translation?" she suggests. "Oh, the prize? Yes, the prize, well they get married."

"Married," Hinamori repeated.

"I guess. I don't think it really happens though. But I guess if it did -." She paused. "Oh, Momo, these are questions for you to ask when you are older. Like Yachiru and Daichi should only ask when they are older. You all should be enjoying your young lives without these kinds of concerns."

Thorn patted her on the head affectionately. She turned her face to Mayuri. "If anyone ever thought to educate you all early on that -."

天国的白雪公主

Preview of the Next Chapter:

Hinamori finally gets an idea on how to raise money for the division, but what will this mean for Thorne?

Who is a candidate to be a bachelor? Vote now.

天国的白雪公主

CAST NOTES
BLEACH: ACROSS THE DIMENSIONS:
Fifth Division in the Red:

Bleach: Cross Backgrounds - May differ from Bleach canon.

Thorne (Shihoin), Shirahime: A human shinigami who is the reincarnation of Shirayukihime no Tenjou. Now the fifth division taicho, she was once engaged to the human previous incarnation of Kenpachi Zaraki. Mother via Shirayukihime's incarnation to Yachiru's previous incarnation. Adopted Daichi Takeya as her son who is now the third seat of the fifth division. Shirahime asked Kenpachi to marry her (Story: After DiamondDust), but she called off their engagement after being kidnapped by zero division. Though not always mentioned, several members of the royal family, including her, are considered gods.

Ayasegawa, Yumichika: Eleventh division's fifth seat who was Shirahime's lover until she asked Zaraki to marry her. Zaraki knew about and supported this relationship. Most people do not know about this relationship and presume he only likes men. Note: Most of this background comes from stories rated MA.

Hanako, Yuri: Member of the twelfth division who is interested in Byakuya Kuchiki. She usually works with Ryo Yoshida.

Hitsugaya, Toshiro: Tenth division taicho who is in love with Shirahime. He Kenpachi's rival. Despite appearance, he is an adult.

Kita, Shinjiro: Fifth division's fifth seat and previously the eleventh division's seventh seat. He took charge of the fifth division after Shirahime's death and believed she would be incarnated again. Head of the alpha subunit and, while taicho is away, in charge of her defensive barrier against the royal realm. He has been interested in Shirahime since they were both members of the eleventh division. He is loyal to Shirahime and is her closest friend in the fifth division.

Kurotsuchi, Mayuri: Twelfth division taicho who insists his division always refer to Shirahime as Shinnouhi.

Kusajishi, Yachiru: The present incarnation of Shirayukihime no Tenjou's daughter. She considers Kenpachi Zaraki her father and Shirahime her mother.

Tanaka, Kaori: An unseated fifth division member. Member the alpha subunit.

Takeya, Daichi Thorne: Shirahime's adopted son. He is now the third seat of the fifth division.

Yoshida, Ryo: Member of the twelfth division. He usually works with Yuri Hanako.

Zaraki, Kenpachi: Eleventh division taicho, father of Yachiru, and Shirahime's lover. He is the reincarnation of Shirahime Thorne's human fiancé. Shirahime asked him to marry her (Story: After DiamondDust), but she called off their engagement after being kidnapped by zero division. He is Toshiro's rival.

Shinnouhi Royal Guard: Shirahime's guard while in the Royal Realm. In order of highest to lowest rank: Senna, Sierra, Mitsuhiro, Lin, Miyako, Jiang, and Zan. Mitsuhiro and Zan are the only men in the guard.

天国的白雪公主

AUTHOR'S NOTE - DISCLAIMER:

This work is a transformative fanwork, written for entertainment purposes only and not for profit. Canon characters and backstories are copyright to Tite Kubo and applicable others. Original characters and original backstories are created by Eugena. The backstories of several canon characters and some canon elements have been significantly modified for the purposes of this fanwork. These modified characters and modified elements should not be taken as canon from the original Bleach and may not necessarily reflect Bleach's copyright holder's original intentions. Works rated M or MA are not intended to be read by minors.

This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this work are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

The author hopes this work will help readers further enjoy the original Bleach.

谢谢你们的阅读。