Sasuke is born without a soulmark.

It's not a big deal. Everyone is born without a soulmark, after all. He has his whole life to find his soulmate and be all goopy and gross with them like his mother and father are when they think he and Itachi aren't looking.

Sasuke is four years old and he doesn't really care about soulmates all that much.

He's much more concerned with getting Itachi to teach him taijutsu. Only, Itachi is a chuunin and busy with his missions and training all the time. Busier than all the other chuunins Sasuke knows combined. It's— ugh. Itachi is so annoying. Always poking Sasuke in the forehead and telling him, maybe next time. There's never a next time. What could be more important than teaching Sasuke how to be a ninja? Then someday they could be going on missions together. Itachi was just too stupid to understand that.

Sasuke wishes he was Itachi's soulmate. Then maybe his brother would quit ignoring him and they could train together everyday. They could eat breakfast with their family every morning and read books together again and—

"Oh, Sasuke," his mother laughs when he tells her, "That's not how soulmates work, honey."

"Why not?" Sasuke pouts.

"Come here," she says, gathering Sasuke into her arms, "Your soulmate is the universe giving you someone who will love you unconditionally. Someone devoted to you and your happiness no matter what happens."

"Like you and daddy?"

"Sometimes," she nods, "Your father and I love each other very much and decided to get married— and have two wonderful children. Not all soulmates want that— but it doesn't mean they belong together any less. Just that they make each other happier than anyone else in the world. There are so many ways to love another person that don't involve... that kind of love."

"Yeah," Sasuke's scowls, "I don't think I want a soulmate like that."

"Maybe not. But you won't know until you meet them someday. Love— your soulmate— might surprise you, if you give them the chance."

"Can… can I love people who aren't my soulmate?"

"Of course! Just look at me— and Itachi. We're your family— that means we already love you more than the universe could ever design."

"Even… even if I do something bad? Like… hide Itachi's sandals in the koi pond?"

"Even if you hide Itachi's sandals in the koi pond," she says, "But… that doesn't mean you shouldn't apologize when you do something bad, Sasuke. Just because they love you doesn't mean you can't hurt the people you love— whether it's your soulmate or your family. And you made Itachi very late for his mission. You know how hard he's been working to prepare for his jounin exams."

Sasuke sighs, "Yeah…"

"So what are you going to do when Itachi gets home?"

"… Say sorry."

"Good. Now, do you have any other questions about soulmates?"

"… Nah."

Knowing that Itachi isn't his soulmate, Sasuke doesn't really give his own soulmate much thought after that. At least, until…

Sasuke turns five years old the day Itachi finds his soulmate.

It had been a good day— the best day. Itachi had picked him up from the their aunt's house— where he goes when their father is working and mom has a mission— and they'd spent the afternoon at the Uchiha's private training grounds. He'd run Sasuke through combat drills until his ankles were swollen and his heartbeat thrummed in his ears. By the time they'd stumbled home, caked in mud and dust, Sasuke had been ready to collapse into bed until it was time to drag himself back to school the next day. Only his exhaustion was practically wiped away, when their whole family is waiting for them in their mother's kitchen. Aunts, and uncles, and cousins, and grannies— some of them Sasuke hasn't seen in over a year between their work on the police force and an endless rotation of missions.

Even his father is there— home long before he normally tears himself away from his hours at the station. Not a word is said about Sasuke's test scores or Itachi's preliminary ANBU missions. For one night, they aren't the most elite ninja in the village. They're just a family.

One of their father's cousins arrives partway through the evening, her own family in tow. Sasuke has never seen so many people in their house before. Or his parents so… not like his parents. Laughing and talking with the other adults as the kids pour into the back yard. In theory he knows everyone— he's definitely seen all these kids before, around the compoud. But the Uchiha Clan is one of the largest in Konoha— there are plenty of people here Sasuke doesn't really… know.

In the Uchiha Clan tradition, he and Itachi greet all the newcomers as they arrive— with a single swipe of their thumbs over the eyelids of their guests. It only really matters for the clan members they've never formally met before, but Sasuke has been going through the same motions his entire life— it's just another part of being an Uchiha, and he rushes through to get to the better parts of the evening that await—

That is… until Itachi's hand falls away, his thumb leaving a trail of red over the left eyelid of their father's cousin's husband's nephew— or something like that, Sasuke hadn't been paying that close of attention during the introductions.

All the noise of the party dies down, a slow tide of silence falling over the house as everyone realizes what has happened. The other boy blinks, glancing around at the sea of shocked faces. He looks a little older than Itachi— another face that has been in the corners of their lives for years.

"Oh," Itachi says, glancing down at his own hand, where Sasuke can see the pad of his thumb is stained red, stark and bold against his pale skin.

"Itachi!" their mother all but shouts, rushing to Itachi's side, "Oh my— you—"

She cradles his upturned hand in hers, brushing her thumb over Itachi's.

"W-what?" Sasuke gapes, stumbling up to Itachi's side as well to get a closer look, "Is that—?"

"My soulmark," Itachi murmurs, glancing over at his… soulmate, who looks just as shell-shocked as the rest of them.

And that's how Itachi and Sasuke meet Shisui.

It never particularly bothered Sasuke. Not at first. The idea of… love and finding his soulmate had always seemed like a far away concern. Itachi has never commented one way or another on finding his own soulmate— or if finding his own had ever been on Itachi's mind, he'd never told Sasuke as much. If Itachi wasn't worried then why would Sasuke be?

When Sasuke is six years old… he finally starts to wonder.

Itachi had seemed unsettled at first, after finding his soulmate— finding Shisui. Sasuke… isn't sure what happens. He doesn't see much of Itachi after that— even less than before, which Sasuke hadn't thought was possible. Mom says he is getting to know Shisui and their… bond. They're both young, she says, and they have a lot to learn about love and their whole lives to do it. Their lives together, starting now. She says its normal. For newly found soulmates to spend so much time together.

But Sasuke hates it.

Itachi doesn't let up on his duties as a ninja even a bit— which just means what remains of his precious free time becomes usurped by his soulmate. Leaving none left over for Sasuke.

His mother tries to explain it to him— many, many times. And Sasuke… gets it. He does. He wants to be happy for Itachi, finding the person who can make him… happier than anyone else. He just doesn't know…

Where that leaves him.

He stares at his own hand, wandering through the Village after school. Mom had finally said he was old enough to walk himself to his aunt's house after school— and if sometimes he doesn't go straight there… well, no one's noticed yet.

So Sasuke walks. He's never spent so much time outside the compound before, without his mother or Itachi at least.

The Village is… bigger than Sasuke ever realized. The world is bigger than Sasuke ever realized.

He sees shops he recognizes. He sees clan members he's met, out on business or missions. He sees classmates he knows from school— mostly a gaggle of girls who fawn over him, attempting to make physical contact— ugh. Sometimes girls' desperation to discover their soulmates was infuriating. He can dodge the dogged pursuit by ducking down an unfamiliar alley. One of them— one with pink hair— catches sight of him as he flees. Looks like she's going to make to follow, but after a wary glance into the alley she shirks away.

Taking her hesitance as an opportunity, Sasuke books it. Emerging from the alley on the other side—

Into an area of town he's never been in before.

It's… dirtier. Is Sasuke's first thought. He doesn't think he likes it. But it got him away from those… girls. So it would have to do for the moment.

Dodging the footsteps of a herd of jounin, Sasuke glares up at them as they stumble together toward a nearby storefront. Only its not a storefront— it's a tavern. They don't have bars in the Uchiha district. Self respecting adults drink their nasty adult drinks in the privacy of their own homes— or at least that's what his father said. He scoffs at the messy group, coughing only a little at the dust kicked up in their wake before they've disappeared through the establishment doors and out of sight.

Sasuke backed away slowly— he'd heard about adults and their drinks. Who knew what kind of trouble they would cause—

He's stopped in his tracks by a solid wall before he can make it more than a few steps.

"Oi, watch it, kid," Not a wall, but a ninja. A chunnin by the looks of his uniform jacket.

"Um, excuse me," Sasuke mutters, ducking out of the way of the long brushes the shinobi and his partner are brandishing to… scrub a wall? Was that a ninja's job?

Was that what Itachi was away doing all the time? Lame.

"Hmph," the second chuunin scoffs, turning back to her task, "Run along, brat. This isn't a part of town good kids wanna be hanging around."

"Not a part of town I wanna hang around," the first says, dunking the head of his brush in a pail of water, "Wouldn't be here at all if Hokage-sama weren't paying so well for these bullshit missions—"

"Shhh," his partner hisses, "It's a easy gig— stop complaining! Would you rather have been assigned that infiltration in Amegakure? Seriously— Amegakure?"

"Tch, I'm just saying— Why waste valuable mission hours cleaning up after that hellion, huh? Make him clean up his own messes. Might keep the demon brat out of trouble for all of five minutes, if you ask me—"

"Shut up—" his partner snaps, tossing Sasuke a wary glance, "Let's— let's just get to work so we can wrap up sometime this week, alright?"

"Why bother? The little shit's just gonna pull more of the same crap tomorrow—"

Sasuke turns and walks away. He can tell when adults are just whining for whining sake.

He's had enough adventures for one day, he decides. Time to head back for the compound.

Now… which way was the compound, again?

Wandering for… longer than he's comfortable admitting doesn't get Sasuke very far. He can't even manage to find his way out of whatever slummy district he'd found himself in, let alone back toward somewhere familiar.

"Hey—!"

Sasuke spins on his heels toward the indignant shout— not more trouble— just in time to see a small boy come stumbling out of a shop a few doors down, tripping over his own feet to tumble into the dusty street, dirt settling into the mats and tangles of his bright yellow hair like a dull powder.

"Just take it and get out," a man Sasuke presumes to be the shopkeeper growls from the door— tossing what looks to be a cheap costume ANBU mask at the boy's feet, "And I don't want to see your face in my shop ever again, got it?"

"Or— or what, huh?" the boy snaps, eyes glinting even as he clutches his badly bruised shin to his chest, "What're you gonna do? Kick me out? I was gonna— I woulda paid for that, y'know!"

"Yeah, sure—" the man scoffs, "Beat it, demon kid."

The shopkeep turns away, leaving the kid and the mask in the dirt and Sasuke doesn't understand what just happened. The kid can't be any older than Sasuke is— doesn't he know better than to go to the shops without his parents?

As Sasuke watches, the kid picks up the mask— staring at it for a moment before shoving it sullenly in the pocket of his sleeveless orange jacket. Shoving himself to his feet, the kid pats off his clothes— in a vain attempt to dislodge the dirt caked over every inch of him at this point. When standing, its impossible not to notice how he favors one leg over the other.

Even as Sasuke scoffs at the scene, he takes a step forward— obviously the kid needs help. Sasuke wouldn't consider himself particularly friendly or eager to help at the best of times— but something about this kid piques his interest. At the very least, he can help the boy find his parents, and maybe they can help Sasuke get home—

"I don't know why the Sandaime bothers keeping him around," a low pitch murmur from Sasuke's right, and he glances over to see to civilian women whispering to one another, heads tucked together and casting heated looks in the disheveled boy's direction, "You think he'd care a bit more about those of us who have to live here."

"The little beast only causes trouble," the other hisses, "Did you see what he did to the monument just last week? Such a disgraceful child— but what else can you expect from a runt without parents though. Not to mention the—"

"Quiet! You know we've been forbidden of speaking of—"

Their tittering trails off as they move hastily away. The entire street, which had seemed to pause in suspense to watch the small spectacle seems to come back to life all at once, shoppers and ninja alike continuing to flow around the boy without a second look beyond than a few scornful glances.

Sasuke watches them shuffle away. By the time he glances back over, the kid is gone.

Something inside what feels like Sasuke's chest throbs in protest. But no matter where he looks, there no sign of the yellow haired boy.

He ends up asking one of the chuunin from before for directions and proceeds to forget about the strange kid entirely.

Itachi had only been ten years old when he met his soulmate. He's twelve when others in their clan accuse him of his soulmate's murder.

Sasuke doesn't understand the relationship between his brother and his soulmate, but he knows— the way he knows the sky is blue and the world is round— that Itachi would never, could never harm someone he loves. That his brother is the gentlest, nicest person in the whole world. And is isn't even allowed to be sad about Shisui's death, because a bunch of jerks are intimated by him.

Itachi never speaks to Sasuke about Shisui again. Not that he'd said much before, but that silence had felt… tentative. Privately hopeful. Compared to this new, oppressive shadow that lingered over his brother. Sasuke has felt the distance growing between them for years, but never more than he feels it now. He doesn't know what to do for Itachi— who must be hurting. Mother says to give him time. Father says to be strong for him. Sasuke just wishes he understood what Itachi was going through, because then he might know what he needs… but he doesn't. He has no way of knowing.

Sasuke is seven years old when Shisui dies, and the world begins to fall apart. He is seven years old when he starts to feel like soulmates are much more trouble than they're worth.

Sasuke doesn't think about soulmates one way or another for a long time.

But he's nine years old when Naruto spots him sitting on the river dock where his father taught him Katon. They don't say a word to each other, but as Naruto scowls and turns away, Sasuke abruptly remembers the first time he'd seen Naruto around the village— before they'd joined Iruka's class at the Academy, before Sasuke's family— before Itachi'd—

Just that odd, pathetic boy, lying in the dirt. Bearing the weight of strangers' scorn with little grace and far too much attitude for someone his size.

It at that moment, perhaps for the first time, that Sasuke realizes Naruto has been wandering the village alone for years. And feels an acute sense of connection with his annoying classmate that almost has him calling out— but he doesn't. Instead turning away with a scowl of his own.

He doesn't need Naruto's understanding. He doesn't need anybody.

But.

He recalls that peculiar urge he felt back then, to reach out to the little boy, hurting and alone in the street. Surrounded by a sea of people who didn't care— Sasuke can't help that the image strikes so close to home now that he is the one lying in the dirt, cast aside by his brother and Konoha and—

Naruto has been in Sasuke's orbit for years now. Or he in Naruto's, Sasuke isn't sure. In classes, around the markets, amongst the fields and forests of the training grounds. Naruto's always there— his presence one Sasuke has been incapable of ignoring, all this time. Sense always attuned the the bright eye sore in the corner of his vision, Naruto's indignant screeching at every injustice, both perceived and justified. Sasuke's current circumstances only making that curiosity more acute than before.

Just like now— when Sasuke catches Naruto's barely there smile as he stomps off down the path again. And he wonders if he isn't the only one, who recognizes this strange connection between them.

Lips pulling into a tiny grin of his own, its then that Sasuke remembers his mother's words about soulmates, so long ago— how they exist to make each other happy, no matter what. And he wonders.

The thought won't leave Sasuke alone after that.

In the back of his mind, when Iruka shouts at Naruto for dozing off in class— and Sasuke considers sliding Naruto the notes he missed. When he see Naruto, grinning and laughing, sitting on his own at the ramen stall on Sasuke's way home from the grocer— and Sasuke considering taking… maybe not the seat next to him, but he almost never eats out and maybe just this once would be fine. When he spots Naruto, amongst the trees and tall grasses of the training grounds— running himself ragged with… whatever odd training rituals he'd created for himself— Sasuke can't see the logic behind them, and he considers walking over and showing Naruto how to bend a shuriken's path properly…

Sasuke does none of those things. But he can't stop thinking about it.

To the point where he does something… unthinkable.

When he steps out the Academy doors late one afternoon, having stayed after hours to use the school library for a report on technological advancements during the Second Great Shinobi War. And sees Naruto, sitting on that lonely swing, on the far side of the schoolyard.

He doesn't know what compels him. But he sees his mother's wondrous, shining eyes, fingers brushing Itachi's thumb as he storms over to the swing before he's even thought the course of action through.

Naruto glances up when Sasuke is only a few steps away— scowl immediately sliding into place.

"What do you want—?" Naruto's mouth clicks shut, eyes going wide, when Sasuke reaches out without saying a word— and flinch shut then as Sasuke hand nears his face—

And trails his left thumb over skin on Naruto's eyelid.

Naruto doesn't move a muscle, body tense, fingers white knuckled around the ropes of the swing as Sasuke pulls back. Looking between his thumb and Naruto's face— not sure what he's expecting but also fully expecting—

There's nothing. No red mark over Naruto's eye— no matching mark on Sasuke's thumb.

Big blue eyes blink open, and for a moment Sasuke can't look away from Naruto's curious gaze—

And then Naruto's face shutters, face twisting in confusion and barely concealed disgust, "Oi— what the heck was that, y'know?"

"Hn," Sasuke grunts, refusing to offer an explanation as he turns and marches away to the sounds of Naruto's outrage.

If something in his chest feels like its being crushed in a vice, its not worth thinking about.

It had been a stupid thought anyway.