Hello! I am StickyDough.

I'm fresh to the writing game and appreciate any and all feedback.

I can't write poetic scenes, but I like to think I am a decent story-teller.

I thrive on constructive criticism. I don't have a beta or a degree in creative writing.

I chose a fandom I am most familiar with and I've completed a few chapters, but because I am my worst critic, it takes me days to finish one.

*cries*

I wanted some input from fellow dedicated readers to keep me trekking, so I broke down and decided to upload early.

Fun fact: this was a strange fantasy I had that wasn't intended to be more than a short, smutty novella. It evolved into a long slow-burn. And I mean slow.

It was exclusively for smut and smut only. If you don't like intense stuff, click the back button or scroll through it! Thank you very much.

Some noted tags; Late adolescence, Religion, Descriptive-mature language and themes (cursing and sex)

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters to the Kingdom Hearts franchise, and I make no profit from this work of fiction.

Chapter 1

Everything changed right here. My morals, values, and relationships all altered. Everything I grew up believing in, the Lord, marriage, and sex, all changed dramatically three years ago, in this room. I turned my attention to the sole genuine piece of furniture in this room. The sage green couch, which was coated in crushed velvet, pollen and grime from every loitering passer-by. Dilapidated from the passage of time, it appears to have been plucked from a 1970s TV set. I nibbled on my cheek for a few seconds before switching to my nails. My gut flipped as sweat streamed down my nose. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. Why was I so jittery? Is it because everything I knew about myself had changed here? In this dank room, littered with trashy magazines and cobwebs, I had metamorphosed into something rotten and disgusting. At least, that's how my parents would describe my favorite pastime. That's how he describes it. My fingers flinch, and I clench my fist tightly, trying not to shake.

"What's the deal with you?"

My lids shut tightly.

"What are you attempting to prove?"

My breath catches in my throat.

"You should know better."

I clutch my sweat-drenched t-shirt.

"What would the Lord think? Hmm?"

I take a step forward and sit down on the couch. With a sigh, I settle into the couch, oblivious to the fact that my clothes will be ruined. I wasn't sure why I was back here.

Oh, the fight, of course. The argument that made me retch in my toilet and flee outside into the crisp spring air. I ran for an hour before finding myself pacing on the side of the road to avoid running back to him. So that I won't try to explain myself any further to someone who will obviously never understand. My distressed thoughts flitted past the filthy green couch, and I decided to come here instead.

As I stare blankly at the collapsing ceiling, my breath finally becomes shallow. My life has been filled with judgements made by my parents and their all-powerful, all-seeing Lord. I should've expected him to pass judgment on me as well. After all, what I'm doing in this tiny, backwater town is frowned upon. I shiver at the thought. It all began here three years ago. My self-discovery, my unintentional fall into a deep descent, and I look down at the arm of the chair. My hands once were gripping so tightly at this rough cushion. I had held on for dear life from being rocked violently into a firm body, and exclaimed to the Lord about my desire for the same sex. But it's become more than a desire; it's become a sick obsession, and he knows it.

My therapist told me that those who genuinely care about me will always have something positive to say about any problem I am facing. But he is anything but upbeat, which I'm sure has something to do with my obliviousness to the toxicity of the situation. It's not a problem at all, at least not to me. But it is to him. It's a concern for the Lord, and he takes such concerns very seriously.

He and I used to agree on everything. He was my best friend, and my secret keeper. In some ways I suppose he still is. I'll never forget the look on his face when he realized everything had changed. Me in this room, shaking from a glorious climax and drenched in sweat. I had changed in that moment, and he had as well. If I had known he would be sent out to look for me, I wouldn't have been so stupid as to choose our old secret base to experience my gay awakening with our mutual friend.

It had been what felt like the millionth time Hayner and I were hanging out. He knew I would be with Hayner that evening. We frequently hung out together after school. He did not, however, accompany us this time. He had no idea that with his absence, I decided to experiment in things that would've caused his stomach to twist. Hayner and I were young, too young now, I realize, to be exploring these backwoods and not much later, fondling the deepest parts of each other. I scrunch up my nose, remembering my first time on this couch, how sloppy we were at first, and his disappointment at seeing me committing such atrocities. I still can't seem to ask him, but I often find myself wondering, how long had he been there?

Did he witness him passionately kissing me? Did he see me plead to the heavens for release, while he stimulated sacred parts of my body? Had he noticed that it didn't happen just once, but repeatedly after we'd finally found what we were craving?

I lick my wind-chapped lips.

Did he notice me flipping our friend over, shoving him into me, and rolling my hips like I was a filthy hellion? Did he see me beg for it deeper?

"Deeper, please, oh god yes, deeper." I bite my swollen, tender lip. I need more friction, more power. I want to feel his hips collide with mine and transform me into something new and free. We'd been fucking one another for the better portion of the evening and had developed a good, seductive rhythm, working out the newness together in tandem. His brows knit together in concentration, and his hands reached for my hips. His calloused thumbs hook brutally into the crevice of my bone and raise me. I feel the relief of air as my rubbed-raw knees skirt across the abrasive couch. He pushes me down onto him again. My legs felt weak, and I briefly brace my knees on the couch. As he bounces my hips up and down on him, his thickness and length fill me. He does so swiftly, but sloppily and I feel myself stretch around him. The room was filled with the echoes of our pants and the harsh slaps of our skin against each other.

In the late afternoon light, this room was gloomy, and the few rays of light streaming through every crack and crevice of this run-down shack revealed our sweat-slicked bodies. I didn't really grasp what I was doing. Everything I wanted was the pleasure I saw on the computer. I was so damned inquisitive. I had to know how it felt. I couldn't keep my simple imagination going any longer. And I saw how Hayner watched me when I would purposefully find ways to be as close to naked around him as possible. We'd exchange long, enticing glances in class, and he'd shyly run his hand through his hair, brushing the tension away as best he could. I kissed him one evening months ago because I felt quite daring. I backed him up onto these run-down walls and accosted his mouth with mine. He eagerly accepted my molestations and met my mouth with heated zeal. His tongue was sinfully moist, and despite the fact that we were new to this and our teeth clanked once or twice, we discovered that this was our new found secret. I was able to manipulate my own naivety into satisfying my deepest wishes after months of sheer foreplay.

Hayner's rising chest and stomach was proof that he, too, was chasing the same yearning. I have never felt this good, never on my own. And just as I was ready to shift our position for the hundredth time, Hayner discovers this area of me that causes my skin to prickle and my insides to quiver. I had no idea this sensation existed; it feels so divine that I could shoot to the heavens.

"Yes! Oh yes!" I've never felt anything like that when playing with my own hole. "Again, please again, again." I whimper pitifully. The tip of my dick, which was leaping up and down, traced a sticky trail from my own stomach to his taut one.

"Again? Do what again, Roxas? " His dark brows pinch upwards, and the sweat on his brow slides down his temple. He puffs out a breath and clenches his teeth, his head cocked, his light brown hair tangled on the armrest. His glassy orbs found it difficult to focus while I was riding him. I was sinfully grinding into him in pursuit of that cataclysmic sensation. I can tell he's close. I feel his stiff length quaver every time he humps his way into me.

"That, ah, thing you just did. It felt... incredible, please, more. " I moaned uncontrollably. I delicately trace my hands across his chest and down to my lower tummy. "It's here, you touched…hah, here." One of Hayner's hands releases my hip and follows my own hand. He presses hard into my hand and stomach. I felt myself tighten in response to the pressure. His hand led me to feel the entirety of him inside of me. "Ah! Not that, it's inside me! You moron, touch it again with your dick." I clenched my teeth, furious at not being able to describe how to get him to find that spot that made me want to worship him.

Hayner casts a glimpse at his hand on my stomach and then at my rocking body. He removes his palm, returning it to grip my hips once more, pushing me onto him. I whine, still yearning for that electric unknown sensation. He bites his lower lip and wraps his hands hard around my ass and raises me up and angles my hips forward. He pounds into me as his stare remains fixed on my belly button. His cock smacks back into that delightfully delicious spot. My hand falls behind me to brace myself on Hayner's thigh. I arch my back and he reaches that spot again. My body folds forward and I scream. We lock eyes, and he sees his effect on me.

"Again?" He huffs out and smirks at me.

"Ah, you jerk... I'm hoping I don't have to... Respond to, Ohh, that." I growl and glare at him. Hayner's grasp on my ass cheeks will bruise, but I don't dare to beg him to release it since the combination of the pain of his grip and the pleasure of him rutting into my most prized spot is utterly melting me. My thoughts and senses are clouded. Hayner is watching my body shudder and ripple with each clap of his hips, and I smile. This. This is what heaven feels like. I lick my swollen lips and grab for my own dick. "Please don't stop. I need this. I need this so badly. That spot is gonna make me come. I'm gonna come so hard. " I thrust into my fist, roughly pulling and tugging at myself in a frantic attempt to complete my heavenly ascension.

Hayner watches my hand, fascinated, as if the concept of rubbing me off as his cock abuses my body hadn't occurred to him. His gaze travels up my body and I feel him flinch inside me. He returns one hand to my stomach and presses his finger's tip into my belly button. His fingers and arm muscles twitch as he continues his heinous assault on my body. His tongue glides erotically across his front teeth, and he breathes sharply through his nose and lets out a groan.

" You're so hot Roxas, so damn sexy. I'll come, I'll come right now. Mmn." He flattens his palm onto my stomach, mushing my flesh and slightly distracting myself until I feel him flex his entire body upward, pressing hard into my happy place, and my fist grips fiercely in response. I realized I couldn't multitask and let go of my dick. At that moment, the pressure of his palm and my ass were enough. I was seeing stars. I vaguely heard some scuffling, Hayner's fucking was rocking the now-limp and battered couch. "I could do this for, mmm, hours. Your hole is so warm, uhn, I just want to stay inside you. " He humps roughly into me again, and my vision fades. I look up at the ceiling, wide-eyed and pleading. Hayner kneads my ass, and presses his hand firmer into my tummy. "Come, Roxas, please, I wanna see you."

"Oh god! Oh, God, please, yes, God! I'm coming, faster...uhn yea, satisfy me, yes! " Hayner loses his control and, like a novice, curls forward, convulsing in my arms while my ass squeezes out his cum. "Yes," I sigh, "fill me, hah…just like that." He slaps into me one more time, and I feel heat wash deep inside me. My sight shakes, as does my entire body, as I coat Hayner's chest and face with my own release. We stare at each other for a long minute, and I lick his nose. He chuckles before realizing what I've just done. I scrunch my nose.

"It's hardly gourmet, to be sure. It's not great, but it's also not bad. So, I suppose that's something I should be proud of." I laugh out. His dick in me spasms. "No way, dude. I'm in excruciating pain." I grumble and massage my tender bottom.

In a fickle attempt to catch my breath I glance aside and exhale deeply. I felt like we were going at it late into the night, yet it was still light outside. Suspiciously too bright for the dull hues we were fucking around in. I follow the beams of reddened light to the doorway and hear a rough scoff. I glimpsed his lean silhouette before his words rained down like a siren.

"Done playing house?" His poisonous emerald orbs glared directly into my soul.

My breath hitches and Hayner chokes.

"Axel?" I whimper.

There's a soft knock to my left. He stood at the doorway, as if the recollection had been plucked from my mind and transplanted into my reality. The sun's rays spread across his broad back and shoulders, making his expressions tricky to see. Axel had his arms folded and was resting against the weak door frame. His bright green orbs focused upon mine as he cocked his head. They carried no animosity this time, only apologies.

"Well, this feels familiar…" He takes a step inside and scans the area, his gaze quickly falls onto my own. His shirt is clinging to his torso, which is rapidly rising and sinking. He must have been looking for me for quite some time. He presumably realized at some point that I was here and then jogged over. I'm not shocked that he tracked me down. He probably considered it after noticing I hadn't run to my customary hiding place. Behind my neighborhood, there is a lovely little lake bordered by weeping willows. With their long wispy branches closely linking together, drowning out the sound of the ground spinning, it would give much needed coverage to conceal myself from the outside world most days, and became my place of comfort when I couldn't handle life going on around me. The sound of heavy booted footfall wakes me to my current situation. Axel drags his hand through his vibrant red hair all the way to the base of his neck. The sliver of his wrist stark white against his black bomber jacket as he massages his shoulder. His boots were splattered with grass shavings and mud, obscuring the gossamer of meticulous care. "…Feeling nostalgic hmm?" His dark brow lifts slightly, and he smirks at me from across the room, a little dimple forming in his well-chiseled cheek.

"A little, yeah." I respond as honestly as I can. I'm not sure whether we were on good terms after what occurred a few hours ago. My brow furrows in curiosity, and I quietly question, "and you?"

"Somewhat, yeah." He releases a deep chuckle while he massages the back of his neck in a sheepish gesture. I'm never sure what he's thinking. Time and again, he communicates through his facial expressions. However, when his lips open and words come out, I find him to be so contradictory. He paces the floor across from me, and kicks at one of the magazines on the ground. He grimaces. I could see the cover models' nipples from over here. I see the stress drain away from his body as he puts his hands in his pockets. Making me understand that he, too, could be a cover model. "Are you alright? I'm really sorry for what happened earlier." His eyes dart away from the magazine uneasily, then land onto the couch I'm sitting on. "I know you wanted some space, but I needed to know whether you were okay."

"M' not too shaken up anymore. I can appreciate my memories for that." I wink at him, and he rolls his eyes mockingly. I decided it would be best to keep this light feeling between us, but my mind can't help but disrupt any semblance of normalcy by asking prying questions. And because I was back here, where it all began, I felt I needed some answers. "Since we've kissed and made up, may I ask you a crazy question?" Out of anxiousness, I fidget with the hem of my thermal shirt.

"Oh jeez, don't make it sound so foreboding." When he chuckles this time, his red hair flicks about. I grumble under my breath out of annoyance, and he walks over to the couch. Axel's Doc Martins come to a standstill in front of my own Vans slip-ons. I raise my sight to his face, away from my fidgeting with my shirt. He appeared to be more at ease than he had been previously. Almost remorseful. His brows were slightly squeezed together, and he was nibbling on the inside of his lower lip. "May I accompany you?" He takes one hand out of his pocket and motions toward the couch. My gaze was drawn to the action of him withdrawing his hand, and I peered into the contours of his crotch. I clamp my lids closed and try not to think about the half stiffy I was already sporting as a result of my recollections, and how looking at Axel's clothed dick down wouldn't help alleviate that problem. I pinch the bridge of my nose in embarrassment and nod, allowing him to take a seat next to me. The cushion sinks, and I can feel his warmth radiating from his side of the sofa. "Well don't keep me in suspense…what's your 'crazy' question Roxy?" His cologne wafts over me, making me shudder. His presence isn't assisting my recovery. My throat felt unusually tight and I swallowed my nerves.

"When you found Hayner and I here…what all did you see?" Peeking through my lashes, I looked up at him and saw that his face was still collected.

"Uhh, well it looked like you were poking fun at him while you touched your belly. You called him stupid or something?" His finger stroked his sharp chin all the way from the center point to his jaw. He sank into the sofa, one elbow resting on the armrest. As he chuckled at me, his pointer finger supported the weight of his tilted head. His grin was generally contagious, but in this moment, it just served to feed my already raging need.

"Oh…" I was driven by a strong desire to learn more. But I wasn't sure how to go about it. As if asking would turn this into yet another nasty debate.

To my surprise, he went on, stretching his leg out and crossing it over his other knee as he said, "Yea, he made you do the thing I enjoy…" I was now completely convinced that he could pursue a career as a model. His comment gave me the confidence to keep going. His statements piqued my interest even more.

"What 'thing you enjoy?'" My voice becomes ecstatically louder. I couldn't contain my excitement at the prospect of learning more.

One of his brows raises and he clicks his tongue before parting his lovely lips and asking, "You need a play-by-play Roxy?" He shakes his head and lowers it. He looks at the floor, puzzled, as if he realizes this isn't the wisest path to take right now. He rolls his head back up, his eyes sliding agonizing slowly from the floor till they reach the ceiling and shut relaxingly. Every motion he makes exudes savage sexuality. He smiles once more, his sharp canines glinting in a gorgeous display of surrender. "Well, you moaned so loudly, your head was tilted all the way back. And your entire body was trembling. But you looked like you were reveling in it." His head falls forward, and he rests it back in his resting palm as he reminisces. "Your nipples were rock-hard, and your dick appeared as if it hadn't been stroked in ages. It was so glossy." His thick lashes flutter, and his emerald green gaze locks onto my mouth. "Your lips drew my attention the most. You bit them too hard, hmm?" He lowers his long leg to the floor, and the sofa mirrors his movements as he gets closer to me. When he comes in close to me, his vexing orbs were still fixed on my lips, and his scent was much stronger than before. "Your lips. They were my favorite part." My tongue pokes out of my mouth instinctively and hastily swipes along my bottom lip. His hand comes up to my chin, rubbing the recently wet flesh with the pad of his thumb. The contact was brief before he was backing away. He sat near me on his side, his arm resting on the back of the couch to rest his head on as he fussed his red hair. "And jeez, the things you said," he continued, "they were quite graphic. Not that that's any different now." I felt my pulse rise as he entertained himself with his reminiscences. "You even jerked yourself off on him, and he looked so confused." Just like that, I was living in both his and my own memories at the same time. I was merging and melting them together to match my own twisted mind's story, and it was causing my dick to throb.

"That's…all you remember?" His teasing was beginning to wear on my sanity, so I felt compelled to torment him back. I had to approach Axel with caution so that I didn't scare him away. He was always so eager to cut things short, shrinking away and scorning me.

"No. That entire scene plays through my head. And it's so damn wrong of me to think about it now, and.." He, as predicted, comes to a halt in his response. But I'm no longer nervous. His manner revealed no malice, and I wanted to touch him as well.

"And what?" I probe, slinking up to his side. I trail my fingertips elegantly along his sculpted thigh.

"Hmm, I once used it as fap material." My bravery is sparked by his answer, and my hand moves up his thigh. I grip it teasingly and my fingertips brush against his groin. My dick is on the verge of exploding or imploding. I cannot tell anymore; I've been turned on for quite some time. "Really Roxas, now?" He asks, as if it were a strange occurrence for me to be so taken with him.

"You know how it is. It's so hard to control." I tentatively slink my right leg across his lap and ease my way into it. "And the trip down 'losing my virginity' lane didn't quite help. Your rendition didn't hurt either." When his hand rests lightly on my thigh, I decide to bring myself closer to him. I clasp him between my thighs and I feel his warm bulge press against my own. "Hearing how you were turned on by catching me in a dirty deed makes me feel like an exhibitionist. It makes me even more enthralled with you." He glances at me, seeming to be unconcerned, but his fingertips jerk. "I'm a sex addict Axel," I say flatly, looking deeply into his rich green eyes. His nose wrinkles up in distaste, and his lips form a tight line. I chuckle to myself as I consider our current situation and my parents' great lengths to prevent things like this from happening. "That's what my therapist says, at least. I'm beginning to suspect that my parents are wasting their money and that I'm simply a hormonal mess with a warped sense of humor."

"In that case, I believe I have the same issues." He changes his seat position, leaning back against it, allowing me to settle more easily on his hips. He leans his head back, closes his lids, and sighs. My fingers trace over his taut stomach, causing it to flinch. My fingertips gently pull his shirt from his pelvis, revealing the V that leads to one of his greatest qualities.

"Oh? Let Doctor Roxas fix that for you…" I push my chest into his, slipping my hands up to his shoulders and massaging little circles into them with my fingertips. My tongue slips from between my lips and coils around his ear lobe.

"Ahahh, no. We shouldn't be touching each other, we literally just discussed this." His breath is warm on my cheek, and his hands go from my thighs to my hips, as if he's trying to steer me away from him. I clamp my legs against his, enclosing him and trapping myself on top of him. I lean back and lock my gaze on his.

"Yeah, we were down each other's throats…and not in the way I prefer." I smirk at him casually and go on to say, "I threw the world's most explosive hissy fit. I'm pretty sure the neighbors won't trust us alone together now. Not that they should have in the first place." My gaze descends to his stomach, and my hands clasp his hips. I know he's watching me intently, wondering how far I'm going with this. When I glance up, he is mesmerized by me. I close in on him, moving my lips a hair's breadth from his as I continue, "You have this really dirty tendency of making me scream nightly, for a while now," I say with a delicate, sensual lick on his lower lip. Axel lets out a throaty grunt as I thrust my hips upward. My dick was still erect from before, so I scooched closer to him, rubbing against his stomach. My hands were slithering around his shoulders, and his face was getting closer and closer to mine. "They would freak if they saw all the dirty things we were doing behind closed doors." I lower my ass onto his now rising dick. "On the stairs, you rammed this big thing in me…" I tantalizingly grind into his twitching member. "And my ass sucked your dick so thoroughly." I let out a groan as I pressed my lips against his. "Every evening, I long for you to envelop me in ecstasy…ahh," He humps into me, his hands falling from my hips to my gyrating ass. "Axel, my dick is dripping." I whine at him.

"Mmn, is it?" His lids are heavy, and his eyes sparkle with want for me. I kiss his sharp jaw.

"I've been hard since before you walked in." I rut roughly into his stomach, our shirts becoming slightly disheveled. "I was thinking about how you found me here. Slick with cum, and sweaty from being taken so roughly." I grind myself harshly against his stiff and straining cock. My foot brushes against his knees, and his hold on my ass tightens.

"Roxas…don't." I was riveted by his clenched teeth as he pleaded. I lick my lips greedily. He's always sexy, but being beneath me, whining to him about how much I want him, makes me hunger for his body. His glowing green eyes spoke of carnal desires, and his bated breaths were like a sonnet.

"Touch me Axel, please." I put one hand on my stomach and glide it up to my chest, lifting my top for him and giving Axel a front-row seat to my pert nipples. "I wanna feel your big hands all over me." I pout at him, plumping my lower lip. "I wanna feel your cock twitch in my mouth." I lift my other hand to my lips and insert my fingertips. I lick them sensually and bathe the tips in saliva. His attention was immediately attracted to my meddling.

"You're so provocative." He rasps through a groan and his lips curl; his tongue shoots out haughtily to lick at his teeth. And I feel him flex his body into mine, pushing himself against my backside impatiently. "But you can't keep doing this." He squints his eyes shut when he feels my hands return to his convulsing stomach. Even though he says it firmly, his body still sways against mine as we grope one another.

"Oh? Why not?" I delicately kiss the corner of his tender lips.

"Because I said so." He softly demands, baring no gumption in his voice. His hips slowed their motions, but I deliberately compensated by moving faster against him.

"Mmm, that's not very convincing Axel. Your dick is so hard." I remove one hand from his stomach and reach beneath me, grabbing his clothed dick. It was pulsing and radiated so much heat. "I want you, I won't stop wanting you." I wetly kissed his neck while palming his dick with vigor.

"You're not making things easy for me." His hold on me eased.

"My hole is made for your long fingers." I slide his fingers closer to my quivering asshole, which was concealed by my tight jeans. "I want your dick to reach deep into me and make me come. Please…" I use my palm to push his imprisoned tip. I imagine it inside of me. My insides trembled, and I rolled my head back, picturing his dick crashing into me.

"Stop getting off with your trashy ideas about me." His glare was bathed in passion as he directed it towards me.

"But you were made to perfection, Axel." I whimper, my hips forcefully bouncing against his. My fingers found their way to the buttons on his jeans. He's groaning beneath me, his panting mingling with mine, and I moan every time my dick brushes against his stomach. The wet fluids oozing copiously from my rigid length discolored my shirt. "I need you now."

"Uhn…okay, maybe just one mo-" With power from sheer tenacity, he swiftly grips my shoulders and moves me back to his knees. "No! Dammit Roxas!" His fingers restlessly touch his temples. "How many times do I have to say what this is, it's…disgusting. This is wrong!" He gestures at the way our bodies are pressed into one another.

"It doesn't feel wrong." I pout, taking out my 'big guns,' as he'd call them, while he gently takes me by the hips and puts me back on the sofa, as if his actions were soothing the hurt his words had caused in my heart. He leaps off the sofa, inhaling to wash away his sexual tensions, and then paces the grungy floor in front of me.

"Yeah, well sinning usually never does!" His hands are thrown in the air to express his exasperation with our situation. I collapse back into the couch, crossing my arms in a pathetic attempt to prove my disappointment.

"What do you want, Axel?" I antagonized him.

"You're smarter than that, believe me." His brows pinch together. "Why, pray tell, do you think I am here?" Axel takes a more relaxed stance and mimics me, folding his arms across his large chest.

"I don't know, to stalk me maybe? Or look for a late-night trespass?" I answer tautly. His face is painted in astonishment, and he bites his lower lip to contain himself from laughing.

"First and foremost, if I'm trespassing, so are you…and furthermore, I don't need to stalk you." Amused with himself, he grins and shakes his head side to side. "I don't have to when you're following me around like a dog." He stares me in the eyes and raises his brows to emphasize his point. My tolerance had finally worn thin, and I resolved to knock him off his high horse.

"Well, this puppy is seeking a new owner? Know of any?" I laugh smugly as I state this. My well full of patience had run dry, so I clipped out, "Just spit it out already. I finally got comfortable in my own skin, and I'm in no mood for a lecture."

"Who says I am here to lecture you?" Axel's lashes flutter as he looks at me, quizzically.

"Isn't that what you're known for?" I wave my hand in the air. "When you're with me, everything is 'don't do this,' 'don't do that.' You're not exactly lollipops and sunshine, and it really pisses me off." I lock my gaze on him, challenging him to say otherwise.

"That is simply untrue, Roxas. We have a good time together, you know that." He stuffs his hands into his pockets and kicks and taps the floor meekly with the heel of his boot.

When I reply, "Not my sort of 'good time,' at least," I throw a sidelong glance at him and realize I'd rather be looking at something other than him right now. My skin was prickling from the vestiges of sexual dissatisfaction, topped up with plain rage at being put in this situation again.

"Your definition of a good time contradicts everything I believe in. And I'm not going to apologize for it." His back straightens completely, and he stands tall in front of me and clicks his tongue. "I'm sick of being made a terrible person by you," he mutters softly under his breath. I see red as he expresses his displeasure.

"You and your beliefs can just go to hell!" My voice pitched as I let go of my rage, "and I mean that in the most literal sense." I had to let out a deep breath to quell my nerves.

"Roxas, you have a penchant for testing my limits. You push my boundaries, and you behave like it's somehow thrilling to you." He sighs at me, his hand on his brow sliding down his face to ease his stress.

"So, you're not here to lecture me-or fuck me for that matter, but to fight some more huh?" I bite out, laughing at him in bemusement. "What part of 'I need away from you' didn't you get?" I reiterate what I said previously to him.

"We both said-"

"Don't give me the 'We both said a bunch of stuff we didn't mean' line, because I'll assure you, tight-ass, I meant all of it!'" I cut him off before he could spout nonsense at me.

"I didn't come here for a continuation of our previous argument, Roxas. I came here to check on you." He glances at me, his face contorted with sorrow. "I wanted to know whether you were safe. And I wanted to apologize. To be honest, I don't mind if you meant everything you said or not, but I needed you to know that I didn't mean everything I said." His bottom lip hangs out with a small pout, and I'm praying for strength to resist him from winning me over. He sighs, "I was just frustrated. You broke me down. You finally…well you know what you did."

"Oh? I suppose you forgot what you did. It wasn't only me, Axel. You can't pin this all on me." I say pointedly. He had the arrogance to point fingers at me, despite the fact that we both knew everything between us was mutual. He averts his gaze in embarrassment, nibbling on his lower lip.

"I'm aware of the situation. Roxas, you act as if you had nothing else to lose. This is not something I do, so I took it out on you. This is not how I am." He gives a half-hearted response.

"What do you mean? Gay? Or should I say bisexual, hmm?" My brow furrows in disbelief. I chuckle again, appalled that we were having this fight again. "God, I had no idea I had such sex appeal that I could coerce you into fuc-"

"Please, stop it, Roxas." His head jerks towards me, his hard finger pointed squarely at me, as he approaches bitterly. "You're confident in your sexual attractiveness. And I demonstrated that, didn't I? Just the way you wanted it? You flaunted it wherever you could. You simply kept pushing, and I wasn't strong enough to refuse you any longer." His rage fades into intense disappointment, despite the fact that his tone was still clipped when he spoke. "You are aware of the situations you've put me into, and then you get defensive when things don't play out the way you like. That's cause for a lot of tension. I need to know you can listen to me without feeling like I am attacking you."

"Your words are as sharp as blades, Axel. Excuse me, if I find it hard not to feel like you're attacking me." I quip, feeling less than pleased with him now.

"Listen, you know that I am devoted to the Lord. You and our folks are well aware of it. It goes against all that I believe in. So sometimes the way you act out against Him puts me on edge. But I need to think that this misstep of mine can be forgiven. I need to be able to forgive myself, and you. So, I need you to listen carefully and commit this to memory," his tall, slender frame moves even closer to me. He positions himself in front of me and tilts his head down to ensure that he is the only thing I can see. "We need to move on from this. You can't keep…touching me and gazing at me as though you're looking into some seductive flame." He crosses his arms once again to show that he will not bend on the matter. "We will not, under any circumstances, ever again…" His eyes flicker with embarrassment, and he casts a peek at the wall before returning to me. "Well, you know…"

"Aren't your boundaries really vague? I'm going to need you to paint things a little clearer for me." I shrug out priding myself on my ability to irritate him.

Axel appears thwarted, gritting his teeth and hissing, "Stop being so petulant. I'm sure you understand what I'm saying."

"We are not children, Axel." I state obviously. "Although, if I had gotten with you instead of Hayner, maybe we wouldn't be having this talk." I give him a cheeky smile.

"You are really unbelievable sometimes." His palm sweeps across his face, and he puffs out an exacerbated breath. He was belittling me, and despite the fact that I was used to it, after all that had transpired today, I was tired of being dismissed. I leap off the sofa and stand toe to toe with him, surprising him; he rocked back on his heels, then took a little step back before regaining his footing.

"You know what's unbelievable?" I inhale hard, bracing myself for my venomous words to sever him like razor blades, "You tell me you don't want me, yet you can't bring yourself to confess you don't want sex with me. You can't even utter "sex" and "Roxas" in the same sentence!" It was my time to express my annoyance by tossing my hands in the air. "You tell me not to touch you, and not to stare at you, but you've never tried to push me away. You try to make me feel like being human is wrong! You offered yourself to me as a sexual sanctuary," I jab my pointer finger into his chest, "and I thanked you plenty for it." In hopes of calming him down more, I flattened my fingers on him and dragged it down lower, his expression's softened when looking at me. I want to mend this chaotic scene. "Remember all the ways I thanked you?"

"Uhn," The corner of his lip twitches and he looks down at my hand as it skirts along his thighs and then back up to his half-hard length. "I remember." I clutch hungry at his dick, pushing my body up against his. "You see, you're doing it again." He's heaving out air as if my movements alone were preventing him from breathing.

"Push me away Axel…I dare you." I'm desperate to make things right between us and keep our tempers from flaring. I jam one of my taut, slender legs between his thighs and rub into his hip. I feel his dick twitch against my own pelvis. "We feel so good together; it's as if we were designed for one other." My palms travel across his chest, down his shoulders, and then down his arms, barely grazing the fabrics until I reach his hands. I bring his palm to my mouth and pepper it with little kisses. My lips reach his fingertips, and I suck his fingers into my mouth, licking and lapping at them like a dog in heat. "Tell me this isn't arousing..." I whisper to him, moaning lewdly and locking my heady blue eyes with his bright green ones. He hisses and I am alert as his hands return to my shoulders, shoving me back.

"Bound-dr-ies Roxas. Please." He gives me a serious look before biting his bottom lip. My cheeks flush with humiliation and indignation.

"Ahaha, you have the same lack of self-control that I do. You lost it the instant you kissed me, or the second your dick was in me." I move away from him, irritated with myself for assuming things would be different with him. This was the preacher's son, Axel.

"This thing you're doing, it's not going to work on me this time." He asserts once again, firmly.

"It's as if you're obsessed with the idea that you enjoyed it rather than the sex itself! The fact that if your parents found out, it would be the end of the world for you. It's not God you're afraid of. You would not have fucked your ex-girlfriend if you did." I remark matter-of-factly.

"Quit deflecting!" His voice tremors. "I told you, that time with Namine was a fluke! Something I was planning to repent on for a long while. I'm not going to explain myself to you again, Roxas." In this run-down hut, his voice was a tremendous boom. He was becoming furious, which was good since I was as well. Repent? He was repenting all this time?

"Is that true? What about the beers you drank? Or the blunts you inhaled? Is that your way of repentance hmm?" I spun around to face him, to see the look on his face as I lectured him on his own messed-up idea of forgiveness.

"That was for you Roxas! We. Made. A. Deal! I did all those damn things for you, and kept your friends at bay by using them myself. To keep you from going back home to your parents and having them unleash hell upon you for being fucked up!" His words make me flinch. He seldom curses and used to tell me not to either.

"Ah, so that's it." I scoff at his attempt to atone for his wrongdoings. "It's always going to come back to them. My parents hired you to protect me from sneaking out and getting fucked up, under the silly ruse of being my 'tutor.' And you can't live with idea that you fucked me, contributing to my enormous, nasty gay tendencies. " I focus my gaze on my own feet, and my toes twitch uncomfortably within my shoes. Behind my eyelids, a prickle emerged, heated tears threatening to fall on my own cheeks at any minute. "What'll happen if they tell the town? Your existence will end, your life will come to a halt, is that it? You're seeking forgiveness from everyone around you. Not yourself and sure as fuck not me." As I continue my berating, I raise my head and feel the heat in my throat. My lungs were stinging with every breath I pulled from them. My sight is cloudy and filled with tears, and I fight hard not to let them fall. "I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to forgive you. You've always been a bit ambiguous, but you're no pushover. You want me, and I want you. You can't expect me to tolerate you back pedaling out of this because my mommy and daddy will be upset. Or that you are unable to embrace your sexual orientation." My hands were clammy and shaking, curled into tight fists, withholding all my pent-up rage. They vibrated at my sides, keeping me from delivering a quick blow to Axel's stupid-beautiful face.

"I'm not gay. I have a girlfriend." He declares unequivocally.

"Had." I raise a finger to his face, boldly correcting him. "You had a girlfriend."

"That's really what I wanted to talk to you about before things got heated today." He chews his bottom lip, his expression melancholy. "Another reason for me trying to end this-whatever this is. I got back with Nami." My legs go weak as a result of the shock, and my entire body becomes numb. He recognizes the impact of his words and attempts to grab me. The thought of him touching me is revolting right now, and I jumped out of his reach. "Your something special to me, I needed to let you know and my parents thought-

"Jesus Christ Axel! Where do you get off lecturing me when we were just about to -when you're dating-" The irony of it all makes me laugh through my tears. My heart was suffering all over again, just as it did every time he pushed me away. His feeble attempts to console me were not going to suffice this time. Life never did pull its punches.

"No, we wouldn't have. I stopped it." I choked back a sob when his tone became solemn once more. I bury my face in the crook of my arm, and rub the tears away. I return my glare to him, eyes on fire.

"Well, here's your gold star." I extend my arm to his face and point my middle finger at him. "Get chummy with your Lord all-mighty by withholding your dirty urges." I'm laughing and weeping uncontrollably, and he appears uncomfortably concerned about my well-being. "And to really seal the deal, get back together with the little, religious girl that the whole town adores!" I spit out at him and he winces. I'm backing up to the entrance of this little house, hyperventilating and feeling strangled by my own breathing. I established eye contact as I gently backed away. His countenance is kicking me just as hard as his words had.

"Roxas please, you know this is the right choice for me. I want your support in this." His fingers at his sides are flexing. He wants to hug me, as he normally does when I'm in need of consolation. But the notion of his hugging me makes me violently ill. His words and actions have deceived me once more, and I can't take it any longer. The cold wind flows through the narrow breach of the open door, capturing the thin materials of my shirt and calming my furious, flushed body.

"Well Axel, your wish is granted. We are done." I signaled my defeat by raising my hands. And he lowers his head, unable to bear the weight of my convictions. "Here's my boundary…" My voice trembles and it alerts him once more. His head lifts, and he reluctantly notices my resolve. "Stay the fuck away from me."

As I turn my back on him and walk out the door, I hear his raspy voice murmur gently, "you know that I can't."

Note: Are you still awake?

I can't promise this kind of writing every time. I hope it was okay for a first timer. Let me know!

Happy Reading!

StickyDough, the Bibliophile