There were quite a few things Shinji Ikari was having trouble with today. Such things include moving to a new city, meeting with his estranged father for the first time in three years, and being told by said father to pilot a giant robot to fight a giant alien monster. But currently at the forefront of his mind (in more ways than one) was the searing hot pain piercing through his temple like a railroad spike through his skull. Said pain was delivered via a strange energy lance wielded by the previously mentioned giant alien monster.
A final blast of searing pain shoots through his head and Shinji feels a brief moment of weightlessness before he feels his(the Eva's?) back crash against something, momentum jerking him forwards briefly and making his head feel worse. The pain starts to overcome him as he idly notes that he can't hear Misato, or anyone else for that matter, over the communicator. Consciousness begins to leave him, taking in the sight of the monster looming over the city, mocking him for his failure.
"Is this how I die?" He wonders aloud, unsure if anyone could hear him. "I'm sorry, for failing everyone."
"Anta Baka?"
Near instantly the tendrils of unconsciousness receded as the unknown voice cut through his thought process like a hot knife through butter. That voice sounded close like it was in the entry plug with him. As his eyes refocused on his immediate environment, he found the origin of the voice. Of all the things he expected to see, two eight-inch tall red-headed girls in skintight red suits was not one of them. They were nearly identical, the only thing differentiating the two was that one had an eyepatch and a hat with roundels pinned into it. The one without the hat and eyepatch crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.
"Anta Baka?" She repeated, her tone conveying that she expects an answer. Shinji blinks and contemplates his answer for a short moment before giving his answer.
"Yes?" He didn't mean to phrase it as a question, but between the headache and confusion regarding this situation, he really wasn't working at full mental capacity.
"Anta Baka." The eyepatched girl speaks for the first time, her voice morose compared to the other girl's tone of confidence. Her sapphire blue eye stares at him, her attention focused on his neck he notes, before turning to face the other girl. They then begin to rapidly make gestures and pantomimes at each other, baffling Shinji even further.
"I must be hallucinating or dreaming." He speaks aloud, drawing the attention of the two red-headed tiny girls floating in LCL. "I mean, why else would I be seeing two beautiful girls calling me an idiot after nearly dying to a giant alien." He doesn't notice the two girls blush intensely at being called beautiful. Shinji chuckles a bit at the absurdity of it all. "That's right, I'm going to wake up and none of this will be real, just a crazy dream where-OW!" His rambling was cut off as the uneyepatched girl torpedoed towards him and gave him a fierce kick to his cheekbone. Okay, that pain felt real, perhaps it wasn't a dream.
"Baka!" She screamed at him as the eyepatched girl seemed to be fiddling with something in the console. "Anta Baka!?" She continued as she glared at him while pointing at the screen that displayed the slowly approaching monster, an Angel he now recalled after his mind was (mostly) free of the searing pain.
"I don't understand…." Her eyes narrowed as her glare intensified. "You want me to get back up and fight it?" He tried and was met with a smile and a nod. "B-But I can't, I'll just get beaten up again, or worse…." That was obviously not what she wanted to hear, as her face twisted into a snarl, and she looked ready to go into a tirade before the eyepatched girl swam back and put a hand on her counterpart's shoulder. They stare into each other's eyes, seemingly holding a wordless conversation before both sighed and swam up to take a seat on his shoulders.
"Wh-" He tries to question before a pat on his left cheek brings his attention to the eyepatched girl, who makes a shushing motion and points over to the girl on his right shoulder, who now wielded something that looked like a pointy red tuning fork with a spiral handle. She looked at the screen holding the visage of the Angel, and he noted some text that said 'External Speakers on' before a sonorous war cry erupted from his right shoulder.
"ANTA BAKAAAAAAAAA!"
Misato Katsuragi started at the motionless form of Unit-01, a creeping dread filled her as she wondered if she sent out a young boy out to die. Seconds felt like hours as Unit-01 continued to remain inert, the various techs in the command center screaming out updates around her.
"Cranial plating damaged!"
"Unit-01's communications are down!"
"Pilot's synch ratio is dropping!"
Everything is going wrong, would they really lose the war against the Angels during their first battle? Would mankind fall before it could truly put up a fight? Would she be unable to get the revenge she craved?
"Unit-01's external speakers just came online!" That got her attention.
"What? Did he manage to figure out the activation procedure?" Ritsuko questioned in mild surprise.
"We can figure that out later, I want audio from that area, Shinji might be trying to tell us something we could use!" Misato was hoping Shinji managed to figure out some kind of weakness they could use to fight the Angel, however much a longshot it would be. The audio for the area was brought up, and they waited for something, anything to be spoken by the Third Child. The command center was engulfed by anticipatory silence, only broken by the footsteps of the Third Angel as it drew closer to the inert Unit-01. Finally, Unit-01's speakers emitted a voice, but not the one anyone was expecting.
"ANTA BAKAAAAAAAAA!" A shout coming from a much more feminine voice than what belonged to the Third Child emerged. The silence returned, though it was more stunned than anticipatory. Nobody was quite sure how to react, but odd rumbling served to refocus everyone.
"Is that an earthquake?"
"No, seismic sensors don't detect anything out of the ordinary."
"Oh Gods what is that?!" Attention was redoubled towards the screen as a mysterious red mass was converging towards the battle zone, surrounding the Third Angel.
"Zoom in, I was a close-up of whatever that is," Ritsuko ordered, already preparing a subroutine for the MAGI to analyze this new variable. Patching into feeds of the nearby undamaged street cameras revealed the mysterious new interloper: uncountable scores of small red-headed girls in bright crimson plug-suits wielding two-pronged spears.
"Asuka?" Misato breathed out, recognizing the visage of the Second Child from her time watching over Asuka years prior.
"The Second Child? But that's impossible! And that spear?!" Ritsuko was trying to make sense of what she was seeing and failing miserably, her tablet frozen as well. Apparently, the MAGI were also confused by this sudden development.
The sea of crimson was encroaching upon the Third Angel, who shared in the confusion of this strange situation. Unfortunately for Sachiel, showing a weakness like confusion is just an invitation for an Asuka, no matter how small, to pounce upon you. In but a single moment, the countless mini Asukas converged upon the Third Angel, striking it with their lances while screaming out a discordant warcry of "ANTA BAKA!" Sachiel, now fully aware of the threat these small creatures posed, began striking out against the red tide, it's hand lances striking against the seemingly endless horde.
The NERV command center was once again stunned, this bizarre David and Goliath type fight leaving them at a loss for what to do.
"ANTA BAKA!" A victorious cry was let out as Sachiel was brought to it's knees, it's strikes against the crimson sea failing to do any lasting damage. Soon enough it fell to it's stomach as the Asukas began to engulf it. It feebly reached out towards Unit-01, as if looking for a savior, but no help came, as soon after the Third Angel, Sachiel was drowned beneath the Germentide and was defeated. With their foe defeated, the Asukas began dispersing leaving behind a bloody stain and a very confused NERV command staff.
Shinji Ikari, who had a front-row seat to this show, slowly blinked as he was left in the aftermath of this spectacle. His headache then returned full force, with his body deciding enough was enough and promptly sending him into unconsciousness, leaving behind two concerned and irate Asukas.
At the top of the NERV command center, Gendo Ikari and Kozo Fuyutsuki stared silently at the ensuing pandemonium following the battle against the Third Angel. Their silence continued until Fuyutsuki decided to break it.
"I don't think this bodes well for the Scenario." Gendo could only grumble in return.
So got the idea for this story from the Asushin Discord Server and it wouldn't leave my head, so I needed to put it to paper, and what better time than Shinji's birthday? I may or may not continue this story later, but for now, consider this a one-shot I pumped out to flex my atrophied writing muscles. Hope you all enjoy it, leave a review and a follow/favorite and whatnot, and have a great day.