Chapter One
I didn't think much of it in the beginning.
A couple of coincidences. Names and faces I recognized. A familiar atmosphere. 'Maybe it's just a cosmic accident?' I thought to myself.
But I couldn't continue on like that. Not anymore.
It was a Tuesday afternoon. Completely unremarkable all things considered. I was dressed to impress, with a clean suit and a blue tie. That, however, didn't stop me from getting fired for the fourth time this month.
I couldn't blame my former employers though. Crime was rampant in the bay. It was an immutable fact. But I was still disappointed. At this rate, I'd be forced into the streets. Either that, or join the gang.
There wasn't much I could do. I woke up in an empty apartment in a familiar world with far too little to my name. The name of the guy I body-jacked was peculiar, but that was just an afterthought compared to the looming threat of homelessness.
At this point, I was regretting my willful ignorance to the many signs I was given.
Down the block, in broad daylight, was something out of a slasher film. People were strung about with entrails hung like clothes out to dry. Simple mindless brutality on display.
I had to crane my neck to stare at the culprit. A giant half crab/half man who wore a pair of white briefs. On his pectoral shell were crudely drawn nipples in black marker. My gaze trailed over to the monster's eyes. Hollow things that spoke of a desolate depravity.
Before I could react, the crab man thrust his claw forward to point at me. His eerily human mouth grinned maniacally. "You. You're not like the other humans here. You're eyes are just as-"
Letting out a slow and exasperated sigh, I cut the monster off. Somehow, the crustacean's armored face contorted in irritation. Without a word, I loosened my tie and brought my hands up into a barely passable fighting stance.
"What are you doing?" The crab man's eye twitched as he tilted his head to the right. Blood dripped from his claw as he brought it back to his side.
Grimacing, I tried to loosen my fists. "I'm going to fight you."
Lowering into a crouch, the monster leaned uncomfortably close to my face. I could smell his salty breath. "Why? You can't win. And you certainly aren't trying to be a hero."
Despite the truth to his words, they stung me nonetheless. Clearing my mind, I stared at him head on. "That's just the way it is."
My voice was resolute. My face hardened stoically. My determination—rock bottom.
Are you kidding me! Of course I know I'll die. I don't stand a chance! I'm not a hero; I'm not even a functional member of society! I'm only doing this because I know I can't escape. If I leave here, I'll only run into you again. And if not you, then another monster. Then another monster after that! Because of this damn name. The one I so easily disregarded as unimportant.
In my right pocket sat my wallet. And in that wallet was an ID with a plain picture of a young Japanese man. Next to that face was a name in bold. A name I could never forget.
'Saitama'
Yes. The One Punch Man; Caped Baldy; Strongest Hero; may or may not be capable of beating Goku; et cetera. However, unlike the hero of that story, I had something he did not.
A full head of hair.
I didn't have a lick of power. The only supernatural thing about me was the metaknowledge that I held. Metaknowledge that might not be worth anything because apparently I was in a Worm crossover of all things.
Sure, seeing heroes and villains from OPM should've tipped me off, but I wanted to be ignorant for a little longer.
Seemed that my free trial of normalcy had run out.
With horrifying sounds of clicking and crunching, the crustacean shrugged. "Oh well. I was gonna spare you, but you said it yourself."
"It is what it is." With a near incomprehensible burst of speed, the crab swiped his claw. My chest exploded with pain and the wind screamed in my ears. I left the ground and soared through the air; my stomach doing somersaults.
Less than a second later, gravity retook its hold and the ground approached me at shocking speeds. I did the best I could to angle myself and much to my fortune, was able to land on a-
I missed the conveniently placed mattress and broke my fall on a flimsy wooden table. The piece of furniture buckled under my weight, pushing back with equal force. The air was expelled from my lungs as splinters bit into my skin and clothes.
Trying to take in as much air as I could, my body wracked with pain. Dry heaving, I pushed myself out of the wreckage, miraculously without any broken bones. Adrenaline began to flood my system and the pain became an afterthought.
My heart was beating so fast I worried I'd die of a heart attack before the monster could get to me. Clenching my fists, I stood as tall as I could and glared at the monster.
This… this isn't good.
Taking a step forward, then another, and then yet another, I advanced. Progressively, I sped up until I was running with all my strength.
This isn't good at all.
Loosening my tie even further, I was able to get it off my neck and over my head. The crab saw my approach and drew one claw back, holding the other forward as a counterbalance. I could see the path before me and something tugged at my lips.
And my heart's still beating too fast. Won't this be the death of me?
It was as though my body brushed aside my worries in pursuit of pushing on. Crouching low, I leapt to the left, anticipating the crab's heavily telegraphed punch. His bloody red claw ripped ahead and crashed into the ground with a kaboom.
Aren't I-
Taking advantage of my dodge, I climbed up the crab monster's arm and quickly reached his head. Giving the action no thought, I wrapped the loop of the tie around the protruding eye and slid down the crab's back.
-enjoying this too much?
Muscle, fat, tendons, it all stretched and tore outwards. The crab man let out a tortured scream as blood, guts, and other insides became outsides. After a beat or two, the rain finally stopped and the crustacean fell down dead.
I collapsed onto my knees and sucked the air into my lungs with labored breaths. Tilting my head back, I stared into the sky. Perhaps beyond that.
Is this what you wanted? Did you bring me here for that?!
Dropping my head forward, a manic smile was barely held in check.
Because if so…
Who am I to complain?
oOoOo
Falling onto the sidewalk, I greedily gulped for air. It felt like my lungs were on fire. Sweat dripped down my brow as I rolled onto my back.
Maybe I should've waited longer to start Saitama's training regime.
A week had passed since my fight with Crablante. I knew that if I wanted to get stronger, I had to follow Saitama's path. It wasn't hard to recall what he did. 100 pushups; 100 squats; 100 sit ups; and a 10k run every day. Of course, I couldn't forget eating three meals a day (a banana for breakfast) and saving power by keeping the air conditioner off.
I felt absolutely miserable. My body was overworking itself to keep up and it was only a matter of time before I collapsed completely. Or so the logical part of my mind said.
Pushing myself off the ground, I slowly trudged my way to the supermarket. It was well into the evening and the gold and purple sky hung above me. Since I hadn't had dinner yet, this was a good time to grab some ingredients.
It took no time at all to reach the store and I entered its cool interior. The bright LED lights forced my eyes to readjust. When I finished squinting, I made my way to the meat section. I pulled out my coupon sheet and looked for the best deal.
Nice. They still have the hamburger meat. Looks like it's a dollar off.
Satisfied with my choice, I grabbed a mixed greens pack and walked to the cashier. I got in line and waited for my turn.
A tall boy in dark biker's gear stood in front of me. He was a bit odd standing there with an empty plastic bag. If he wasn't buying anything, then he should stop wasting my time.
Unaware of my thoughts, the boy lifted his plastic bag to the cashier. "Don't make any sudden moves. Nobody needs to get hurt."
Wait… Is this a robbery?
Biting the inside of my cheek, I tried to force down the embarrassment from missing the obvious. Intending to rectify my mistake, I tapped the kid's shoulder. "Scuse me, if you're not buying, could you get out of the line?"
I gave the boy a pointed look as he spun around. Setting down my groceries, I noticed he was wearing a tinted motorcycle helmet. Black smoke began to seep through the cruddy costume.
Huh. A parahuman. Didn't think I'd fight one this soon.
"Keep back if you know what's good for you! You don't know what I'm capable of." With false bravado flimsy as paper, the boy brought his fists up in front of him.
Judging by his height, body type, and the way he held himself, this wouldn't be an easy fight. However, the kid was probably just as inexperienced as I.
"Do you really have to do this now?" I started, watching his movement carefully. "I gotta make dinner and I'm still a bit sore from today's workout."
All excuses. As if I'd let something like strained muscles stop the chance for a real battle.
A muffled "Huh?" could be heard beneath the dusty motorcycle helmet.
"But… if you leave me no choice, I'll be forced to defend this innocent establishment." Balling my hands into fists, I gave the villain a solemn stare.
Alright. I've set up the stage. All you have to do is throw the first punch and I won't be held accountable for self defense!
My body was tense and my heartbeat went a mile a minute. Despite being sore, all the aches and pains washed away in the adrenaline and excitement. My hands shook from the anticipation.
I did everything in my power not to smile, but I was sure it leaked out a bit.
A beat of silence passed as we stood face to face. The boy was no doubt planning his method of attack, readying himself for his first battle with a civilian of all things. Fists fights could be rough and they were never pretty. He would pose a satisfying challenge.
However, before I could goad him any further, the black clad robber lowered his arms. "You…!"
He let out an incoherent groan of frustration—turning to the door and marching out of the store. I watched as the cape left the premises and didn't turn back, fading into the distance.
The tension left my shoulders as I let my fists fall to the wayside. My jaw dropped as I replayed the situation in my head.
Was it something I said?!
Quietly sighing, I picked up my groceries and dropped them on the counter for the retail worker. He looked at me with wide eyes, only snapping out of it when I took out my wallet.
The beeping noise emanated from the scanner as my two items passed by. Glancing at the register, I started digging around for the change.
"That'll be $4.99, sir." The worker stated.
Tearing my focus away from the money, I quirked my eyebrow at… Timothy, according to the nametag. "Huh? I'm pretty sure it says-"
"I'm sure, sir." Timothy gave me a grateful smile. "Think of it as a discount. Nothing else."
Nodding, I pulled out four dollars, three quarters, two dimes, and four pennies. Timothy's smile was somewhat strained when I finally brought out the exact change, but he didn't say anything.
Ripping the receipt from the machine, he bagged the two items. "Have a wonderful evening!"
"You too." I waved over my shoulder as I made my way home.
A/N: Cross posting from Spacebattles.