One: Unconventional Restraints

A/N: Fic title is a reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Set after 'Alph Art'.

It was quiet.

Almost too quiet for Tintin's liking.

He didn't mind the quiet; after all, that was one of the benefits that came with living at Marlinspike. All of his old apartments had always been in busy city blocks, where he was constantly bombarded with the sounds of traffic and other residents. At Marlinspike, the only expected noise would be the Captain yelling something at Nestor, or Snowy attempting to chase the Captain's cat for the tenth time in one day.

It did made Tintin suspicious, however, that it was so quiet when Abdullah was currently staying at Marlinspike. Despite having grown significantly since their last meeting in Italy, Abdullah had continued to maintain his habit of performing irritating and frequent pranks, which did little to ease the ageing Captain's nerves.

Tintin was just about to open the front door and go for a stroll when he heard it.

"TINTIN! TINTIN! BLISTERING BARNACLES, I'M GONNA SKIN THAT LITTLE SEA URCHIN!"

Tintin almost dropped his keys, only to catch them at the last minute. "Captain?!"

"TINTIN! GET ME OUT OF THIS MESS SO I CAN PULVERISE THAT ICONOCLAST OF A PRINCE!"

It had taken a couple of minutes for the reporter to deduce which room the Captain was in, as his voice had been fairly faint. He'd tried yelling out to the Captain, only to realise the older man couldn't hear him over his continuous violent threats towards the prince.

Tintin eventually found himself walking past the kitchen, and would have kept walking if Haddock hadn't let out another stream of violent English expletives that Tintin couldn't translate.

Upon poking his head into the kitchen, the younger man instantly spluttered. "Bon chagrin!"

"Tintin, this isn't funny! That little delinquent is gonna pay for this…this..!"

Tintin lost his self-control and allowed a hearty laugh to escape his throat. He felt embarrassed at doing so, obviously, but it was such a ridiculous scene that he felt his reaction was justified.

After all, the image of the Captain lying on the kitchen floor with two skipping ropes and a ball of cooking twine wrapped around his whole body was never going to leave his head. Ever.

The Captain growled from his supine position on the floor, squirming pathetically in his bonds. "Blistering barnacles, you daft lad, get me out of this before I go crazy!"

It took Tintin a few seconds to calm himself before proceeding to kneel on the floor next to his friend. "How on earth did this happen?!"

"I was on my way in here to grab a bottle of whiskey, but it turns out that little brat was hiding behind the door and tripped me with his foot!" The Captain spat angrily. "Ohhhh, wait until I get my hands on him, that little sh-"

"But Captain," Tintin finished unwrapping the skipping rope around the Captain's legs and set to work on the one tied around his arms, "he's only a boy-

"A boy?! A demon, more like!"

"No, I mean how the hell did he tie you up like this?"

Haddock almost looked as though he'd been ask to relieve his worst nightmare; his face instantly paled and a haunted look filled his eyes. "It was all a blur, Tintin…his little devious hands moved so fast I could hardly keep up. And besides, I was pretty winded from the fall. He's damn lucky I didn't kill myself during the fall - I nearly hit the countertop! - because now I'm going to kill him!"

With a heave and a grunt, Tintin managed to hoist the older man into an upright position, leaning him against a set of cupboards. "How long have you been-"

"Two. Bloody. Hours." The Captain hissed. "Imagine that, Tintin. Two damn hours. In your OWN home, nonetheless!"

Tintin was taken aback by the harsh tone of voice, but he fought to remain calm and continued to untie his friend. "Captain, remember that I once got kidnapped outside my own apartment; I know the feeling. But why didn't you call-

"Of course I wanted to yell out, you daft sod! Only reason I'm still in this mess is that it took me that long to get the gag out," Haddock motioned his head towards a crumpled tea towel lying near his feet.

Tintin allowed a puzzled look to cross his face. "Why didn't you just pull it out with your knees?"

"Because I'm not a flexible young man like yerself, Tintin!" Haddock snapped. "Blistering barnacles…"

Tintin sighed as he threw aside the second skipping rope. He'd regretted that comment as soon as he'd said it - he kept forgetting that he'd been in similar situation more often than the Captain, and at a younger age as well. "Keep talking, Captain; I'll just grab a pair of scissors."

"Bottom drawer I think, lad," The Captain stretched his legs, groaning at the relief it provided. "I don't care if it was a harmless prank, Tintin, I want that boy out of my house!'

"It could've been worse, Captain," Tintin rummaged around in the drawers, his quiff sticking above the kitchen countertop.

"Thundering typhoons, lad, how the HELL could this be any worse?!"

Tintin resumed his position at Haddock's side, clutching a pair of meat scissors in his hand. "Calculus could've found you instead of me."

Haddock's face instantly fell. "I'd probably be still on the floor, wouldn't I?"

Tintin nodded as he snipped away at the last of the string, shoving it in his pocket as the Captain let out a groan of relief, straining his arms.. The young man allowed Haddock a few moments to regain feeling in his limbs as he helped him to his feet, steadying the older man as he wobbled. "Still, Captain, I don't think resorting to murdering Abdullah is the right suggestion-"

"WELL I THINK IT IS! NESTOR!" Haddock hollered over Tintin's head, ignoring the cringe of pain from the younger man. "NESTOR! GET ME THE EMIR-"

"Captain!" Tintin shouted, grabbing a firm hold of the Captain's jacket. "How about you sit first and just have a drink?! That is the whole reason you came in here, isn't it?"

It took Haddock a moment before he relented, sighing as he threw himself into one of the dining chairs. A few minutes of silence passed between the two men as Tintin prepared a cup of tea for both of them; the older man slumped over the dining table, twiddling his thumbs absently.

"Here you are, Captain. And this time," Tintin set both cups down, "I am not putting a drop of brandy in it."

If Haddock had heard this remark, he gave no signs that he did. He sipped his tea thoughtfully for several minutes before he suddenly spoke, giving the younger man a tired expression. "You know, Tintin, I, uh…you remember what those bandits did to me in Peru, don't you?"

Tintin finished his mouthful of tea, astonished at this rare comment of distress from his friend. "How they ambushed us with Zorrino?"

"And left me wrapped up like a turkey in the middle of the night," Haddock tried to repress a shiver. He shook his head as he swallowed another sip of tea. "I mean, I-I know it's not the same, but when…when Abdullah s-shoved that tea towel…and, and all those ropes around me…I couldn't help but think I was back on that mountain-"

Tintin instantly moved his seat closer, placing a hand on Haddock's shoulder. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Captain. You experienced a traumatic event, and this has reminded you of that event, even if Abdullah didn't intend it."

The Captain sighed deeply, rubbing his face furiously. "But lad, you got tied up all the time!"

"It doesn't mean it was never frightening, Captain," Tintin said quietly. "You're allowed to express feelings about it. Don't act like it never happened."

Haddock appeared to be deep in thought for several moments before he patted Tintin's hand. "You're a good lad, Tintin. Now how about you help me sort out Abdullah?"

Tintin let out a laugh. "Non-lethal methods only, Captain."

"Absolutely."

A/N: Bon chagrin = good grief