I originally posted this a story that was part of a long and regrettable author-ramble "story", which I deleted.
For context for those who don't know: I'm leaving this site, and basically the internet altogether, to prepare my suicide which I've been putting off for ages now and which I need to just go through with (this is not a joke. I'm too sick of this stupid world full of ugly-looking people), and this will be my final update. I just wanted to repost this as it's own thing (it's been slightly edited to update context a little). I've also reposted it again, now that I've blocked certain consistent harassers, to root out trolls
Good-bye, and thank you to everyone who has supported my writing on here; not that it's many people, but to the few you have, thanks.
Legal disclaimer: This is a self-indulgent fantasy story. This is not reflective of any actions I'm planning to take in real life.
...Velvet. As soon as they open their eyes, that's all they can see. It evades their vision before they have a chance to realise what is truly going on...
As their mind struggles to comprehend their situation, they begin to realise just how empty their head is. It's like...the number zero. It holds nothing, and yet somehow it's a comfort...
"Ah, welcome..."
A voice directs their attention—As they look up at the person nearby, the first thing they see is that of a beautiful young woman, clad in blue.
"..."
They remain silent.
They're unsure of exactly why.
Is it the woman's beauty that is stunning them into silence? Or do they simply not have anything to say? They are, after all, nothing but Zero.
To this world, and the next, there is nothing for them here. No true self.
"Or should I say...welcome back to the Velvet Room..."
'Welcome back'...?
Somewhere in their groggy mind, they feel as though they understand the meaning behind those words. Although something still doesn't quite catch up to them. Something still feels like it's missing...
Either way, as they continue to stare at the blue-clad woman, her lips form into a light smile.
"Do not fret...you are safe and sound within your real world," she says. Her voice is calm, and peaceful—just listening to it makes their mind feel at ease. "This place exists between dream and reality...between mind, and matter..." The woman senses their bewilderment—
She cannot help but chuckle.
"You appear dazed...and yet, you are clearly here for a reason..." she continues, "it is most intriguing, isn't it...?"
Again, something in their mind is telling them that they understand the woman's words...and yet, at the same time, her words only confuse them.
"...It's most fascinating how hatred can be justified, isn't it...?"
The woman closes her eyes.
"When faced with the option to live full of that hatred...can anyone truly say they would choose that path...?"
...
As the woman talks, they continue to get the sense that they understand...
Something about the woman's words is resonating with them.
"Hatred is not an easy thing to live with...and yet sometimes, one must hate..."
As the woman opens her eyes, she fixes the person with an expression that is difficult to make out. But it seems akin to pity...
"In your life, you feel...overwhelmed...which is why you have found yourself here..."
"Over...whelmed...? I'm overwhelmed by hatred...?"
The guest mutters their first words since becoming aware, in a quiet, raspy voice.
The woman's lips tug into a smile in response.
"Hatred is not a bad thing...Just as light cannot exist without darkness, so too can our world not function if there are not those who are willing to hate."
At this point, a clipboard suddenly materialises into the woman's hands. "And you are the pinnacle example of hatred for the sake of progress..."
...
"Your being here forewarned the beginning of a great path...a journey of purification...a journey of using hatred for the pursuit of your own sense of ideal..."
The woman closes her eyes.
"To think that one who could seem so evil to others...could, in fact, hold the key to humanity's salvation..."
She opens her eyes, and affixes the guest with a curious look.
"You...who would be so willing to throw away everything...so willing to break down universes, over your sense of hatred...hatred for those you consider physically unworthy of their souls..."
She looks down at her own hand, as though contemplating something.
"There is indeed a great fate ahead of you..."
As the woman opens her clipboard, she looks down at it with a sense of nostalgia...
Something inside of the guest's mind begins to flash—a memory of a time long past. A memory of being here in this very room, and of leaning over that very same clipboard.
They begin to sense something inside their soul...
It's a sensation without fact, nor logic. It's based on pure feeling—a contract of the soul...
"W-...Who...am I...?"
The woman looks at them, and tilts her head slightly.
"...That is a question that can mean many different things, don't you think...?"
"..."
The guest wants to reiterate the question, but it catches in their throat. Somehow they get the sense that this woman holds no intention of answering them—
Even so, somehow, they don't feel afraid. No, they feel calm—calm, and relaxed. Somehow they feel as though their time to understand will truly arrive, in due course...
The woman chuckles.
"I want you to clear your soul and think...and then answer me one simple question..."
"..."
"To you, does human value extend beyond the skin...?"
...
The answer is so clear to them that they're speaking it before it's even been processed-
"No."
The woman appears intrigued by the blunt answer.
"And to you...do those without worth within their outta bodies deserve the gift of live that has been afforded to them...?"
...
Once again, they state the answer in a blunt manner, as though it was as simple as stating the colour of the sky.
"No."
The woman nods her head in response.
"...I will now return you to the reality you come from, so that our story may continue...
The guest begins to feel their vision waver—Their sight is enveloped by pure white...
"What is fiction, and what is reality...?"
The woman's chuckle echoes in the guest's ears...
"What separates the two, truly...?"
...
The guest can sense something in her words...something deeper than what she is saying on the surface. They sense that it's her call for them to wake up...
... ...
After the guest has left, the blue clad-woman's prior smile begins to fade. She looks down at the clipboard in her grasp.
"...To think, our reality is nothing but fiction...
This...
'Persona'..."
...
...Velvet. As soon as they open their eyes, that's what they can see. It evades their vision before they have a chance to realise what is truly going on...
As their mind struggles to comprehend their situation, they begin to realise that a heavenly choir is filling their ears.
"W-Wha...?"
They let out a yawn, and blink—Their eyes are groggy, and they feel like their mind is barely aware of themselves.
"..."
For a moment, they pass off what just happened as a bizarre dream—Likely a result of the half empty bottle of whisky that was sat on the table.
Just like those others dreams they kept having—where their mind pierced into the other word; a world that seemed to be full of any possibility, but that focused around that one character they had long buried away inside of them.
But it's so vivid, and so clear—and their soul feels so cleansed.
No, there was no doubt that what they had just experienced had been real...
"(...So that's it, huh...?)"
Slowly, they pull their torso up into a sitting position—Next to them sits their controller, which was practically falling between the gasps in the sofa.
As they stared at the TV screen, their lips formed into a smirk.
It dawns on them quickly that they must have fallen asleep.
They slowly stand up, and stretch their arms.
After their dream just now, they felt in a fairly
good mood—unusually so for them, as a matter of fact.
Either way, their heart felt light—and they felt as though the pain of living wasn't so painful anymore.
They reached over towards their laptop that was sat nearby—as they did so, the smog in their mind suddenly overwhelmed them. They felt like their mind was stuffed with coffon—and yet at the same time, their mind felt so strangely light, as well.
"...Haha..."
They brought up the empty word document, and then began to type away.
...
After typing away for a while, they eventually looked up at the TV screen again. That same title screen was there—with the same silhouettes, dancing away.
They began to feel almost terrified—a sickly feeling is in their gut. As they closed their eyes, images of that woman filled their mind.
"(Y-You are so beautiful...I-I wish you...hated them, like I do...)"
They opened their eyes again, before picking up the controller, their laptop still rested on their lap. Existing out of the game they were playing, they navigated their way over to another game that was listed on their console's home menu.
"..."
They took in a breath, before launching the game up.
As soon as they did, their eyes went straight to her—To that beautiful blonde haired girl...
"Dammit...why don't you hate ugly people...?"
That was all they wanted—
They wanted that beautiful person to detest those scumbags...those abusive, manipulative, horrible, useless, vile scumbags that they hated with all of their heart...
"Please..."
As the game's opening movie began to play, they closed their eyes. They tried their best to focus on just the catchy, upbeat song—
But even that annoyed them.
The thought of ugly people playing this very same game as them annoyed the hell out of them...
"...Auuugh..."
They opened their eyes, while slamming down on the x-button, to skip to the title screen. Upon seeing it, they couldn't help but become overwhelmed.
As pathetic as it was...
"(She's not real...she's not real, she's not real...!)"
...
As much as they kept convincing themselves of the fact—it didn't matter. Because what was fiction, really?
What was any fiction or lie, but an idea built around thoughts of truth?
Yes...
She wasn't real...
And yet it was almost that fact that was a comfort. After all, that meant she could be moulded to whatever shape they wanted them to be.
Inside of their mind, they began to think—they began to imagine that version of that character they wished for so very much.
They imagined that girl sat next to them on the sofa—with a knife in her hand, and a cruel smirk spread across her lips. She slowly stands up—and they track the girl with their eyes, as they make their way in front of them.
"I love food..." they would say, while they gawked up at the gorgeous blonde-girl, "and I don't think ugly people should enjoy it. So...next time you see an ugly person enjoying food,, what are you going to do...?"
They can sense cruelty behind her inquiry.
The most beautiful kind of cruelty imaginable...
"...I-I'll...I'll make sure they know they shouldn't be eating..."
They closed their eyes-
"...So can you please stop invading my mind...?"
He opened them again, and looked to where the woman was.
...
And yet, there was no one there.
It was only a comfort—a quite 'lie' inside of their head.
And yet, what was a lie really, other than another means of telling truths? What was a lie, if not a truth of the heart, and buried deep into the soul?
As they looked at the screen, and saw that same girl's silhouette, they couldn't help but feel reminded of the dream that they had just had.
Their lie was just another form of truth—that resolve was stronger than ever in their heart.
They closed their eyes again, and began to imagine the girl was present one last time...
...Their lie can become the basis of a reality.
For their lie had the power to influence the minds of others—inside of their dreams.
...
They lifted their arm to their eyes, and rubbed at them, to clear away the tears.
Those tears were the result of years of pain and isolation—years of hatred that they held onto...for the sake of what was right, what was just, and what was fair.
"(I hate...all ugly cunts...)"
They slowly turned their attention back to their laptop.
"(I-I'll prove it to you all, that...this is how things should be...)"
They began to move their fingers. Typing whatever came into their mind in the moment—no real thought given to how much sense it made. They just wanted this to be how things were—they wanted this lie to be reality.
"Ugly people are scum...scum, scum, scum, scum..."
As their eyes went back up to look at the TV screen for a split second, they felt something flip inside of them.
It was...
The feeling of being trapped—
No, it was more accurate to call it the feeling of understanding—an understanding that no matter what they did, nothing would come to pass but their own downfall.
"(Fuck that...!
Fuck that! Fuck it fuck it fuckitfuck it...!)"
But they wouldn't stop fighting—No, they would NEVER stop fighting...
Not for as long as their was truth in their heart, and a desire for true change within their mind. They closed their eyes, and took in a breath to settle their feelings down-
"(I have the power to influence others...and I'll use it to my advantage...)"
They would form a world that was more than just fiction—a 'lie' that was beyond the truth.
They would change Persona...forever.
They would change her forever.
They would change her into the her they believed in.
And they would make everyone understand exactly who Ann Takamaki truly needed to be...
Even at the risk of causing real harm...
Even if it meant hurting real people...
But then again...what was real, and what was fiction? Inside of their heart, something had almost collapsed—they had no understanding of how to sperate the two anymore...
And so all they had were not lies or truths—but feelings of pain, and feelings of misery.
Feelings of love and feelings of hate.
Feelings of disgust towards all ugly people, everywhere...
And a desire for them all to be eradicated...
...
...
There it was again...
They were back here—back before this beautiful woman, clad in blue.
Somehow their memories were fleeting, once more. They couldn't quite make out why it was they were here...however...
"Welcome back to the Velvet Room..."
The beautiful woman greets them with her usual calm, and composed demeanour—their smile is light and friendly.
"How has your journey faired you so far...?" the woman asks.
Her question hangs in the air—They somehow feel as though it's rhetorical, anyway, but even so...they feel no compulsion to answer her.
There's a slight chuckle from the woman, before she continues.
"Your lie is slowly become a form of truth...I would think it would make you happy..." The woman shakes her head.
"And yet, you appear rather lonely...is this what it means to carry such a burden on your shoulders...?"
...
They can't deny what the woman is saying.
Inside of their heart, they feel such a longing for a true bond—and yet that bond feels so impossible.
"I can't...have a bond, that requires me to abandon who I am..."
The woman looks at the guest pointedly for a moment, before slowly closing her eyes.
"Hm, a most interesting response..." she says—her voice is as calm as usual. "It reminds me of something he might say..."
"..."
There's something like recognition within their heart—They feel as though they understand who 'he' is referring to...
"Do you mean...your protagonist?"
The woman opens her eyes—There's something like shock in her gaze, but it's quickly suppressed. She appears to be well within control of her emotions...
It's awe-inspiring.
"Ah, yes...to you, I suppose that is what he would be seen as...However, to me, he is known as Yu Narukami."
'Yu Narukami'.
That name rings a bell inside of their head.
They close their eyes—and images of a handsome bowl-cut boy fill their head.
"Am I...really like him...?"
The woman's chuckle causes them to open their eyes.
"The desire for true bonds is within everyone's hearts, don't think so...?" the woman says, with a light smile. "It doesn't matter if it's fiction, or reality...After all, lies are both another form of truth."
...
They cannot help but find comfort in those words. It's exactly the sort of thing they need to hear...
"Thank you..."
"Don't thank me," the woman responds, "I am simply expressing what I can observe...It is you, yourself, who has come to this room. That indicates that you are...indeed, 'like him'...if you wish to put it that way..."
...
"What he values most of all, is a true bond, born from suffering..." the woman continues, "don't you think that your journey is a path to the same goal...?"
...
Yes, of course it is...
It's a path towards the suppression of truth with lies—towards the end of abuse.
Even if it's built around hatred—even IF it's built around a so-called 'lie'.
"In any cause, you are about to embark on a remarkable journey...But before you do, I wish for you to affirm something for me..."
"...Yes...?"
They are unable to disobey her.
"What is that you long for most of all?"
The guest closes their eyes-Their soul feels strangely calm, and without conflict.
"I want...to make a world where everyone is happy."
"And how do you wish to achieve this?"
"...By...getting rid of the obstacle in the way..."
The woman nods her head, sharply, and pointedly.
"And what is that obstacle...?"
"...Ugly...looking people..." The guest whispers out, like they were afraid it was the wrong answer.
However, the woman simply smiles.
"And why are they an obstacle...?"
The guest closes their eyes and takes in a breath.
"Because they hold...no worth...they're pathetic, miserable, filthy creatures who do not deserve their lives..."
"And to what community is this phenomenon most observable...?"
"...The...Persona community..."
Despite the bizarre nature of the circumstances, the words still sound natural.
You suspect the woman herself must be besides herself with confusion, to have you refer to her entire life as nothing but fiction within a community-and yet she appears calmer than you do...
Hell, she's the one doing the leading here...
"And so, what must you do in order to achieve your fated path...?"
The woman's question causes the guest to open their eyes-their expression is unwavering, and confident.
"...Kill them...I need to kill ugly people..."
"And...when will you do this...?" asks the woman.
"...When it'll cause the biggest impact..."
"And when will it cause the biggest impact...?"
"When...it will affect the Persona community the most..."
"And...when will that be...?"
...
As she asks that question, they suddenly find themselves understanding-the answer comes into their heart, soul, and mind, like it had always been there all along.
"...When...the game will be played by new people..."
Of course...so many people who will gain their first impressions.
So many would be influenced on that day-and from there, it would make sense to say that it'd easily engrain it into peoples heads: it'd make Persona forever cacophobic-forever in agreement with them.
It'd engrain it into peoples hearts-it'd change their heart, like a true Phantom Thief.
It'd completely change Persona forever.
"...October the 21st..."
The guest mutters, like they are possessed-
"I need to do it on...October the 21st..."
"...Well, well..."
The woman chuckles.
"Do you see how easy it was to determine your path of action, when it was broken down into simple steps...?"
"..."
The guest nods.
"Thank you..."
The woman shakes her head-She looks at the guest with genuine tenderness.
"You don't need to thank me...I am merely providing you with advice for your future ahead..."
With that, they are enveloped by the familiar whiteness across their vision—and their soul lifts from out of the room...
... ...
"Go forth, as he did," says the voice of the woman in their ears, "go forth, and make the world a better place...Make Persona better place for all those who will experience it for the first time..."
... ...
As their vision clears, they slowly slouch up into a sitting position—
They let out a yawn, and blink—their limbs feel stiff, and their head is thumping.
As they came to the awareness of their surroundings, they slowly realised that someone was speaking—At first, the voice of the woman from their 'dream' was still echoing in their head, causing the voices to blend together.
But eventually, they separate—and they become aware of the fact that the voice is somewhere in the room.
They look up at the TV—a news report is being displayed...
"—Nine Year-Old Olivia Pratt-Korbel was shot in her own home by an unknown gunman..."
They stared at the screen-Their vision somewhat muted, and their mind clearer than ever before. It was like they could perceive what they had to do clearer than ever before-
They pulled out their laptop, and then looked up the news of the game's re-release-
"October 21st...When the Phantom Thieves will become what I want them to become..."
When ugly people won't be welcome-
When ugly people will be sorry they were ever born.
It was on October the 21st that the history of Persona would shift...
As they closed their eyes, they began to hear her voice in their head again...
"This will be super fun! Like, we have MONTHS to prepare, so don't disappoint me!"
And the voice of the idol...
"Yeah, like, come on, let's do this!"
And of the Yamato nadeshiko...
"Come on, it's about time you did it already," she says, "it's been so many years of waiting, right? You've put it off...and put it off, thinking you could survive without it. But this was always where it was going to lead to..."
As their eyes darted to bottom corner of their laptop screen, they noticed the date:
August 23th...2022.
It would be an agonising couple of months, but...It would be worth it in the end...
When they've finally brought about the change they've been looking for.