Disclaimer: Detective Conan belongs to Gosho Aoyama and associated parties. I do not make money nor own anything with the exception of my own original characters.
Warnings: Suicidal thoughts, explicit sexual content, explicit language, rough sex, semi-public sex, food kinks, dirty talk, verbal humiliation, foot jobs, orgasm delay, vibrators, exhibition, light BDSM, body paint, spanking, various kinks.
Author's note: Hello, to my old readers, thank you for your support and sorry for the long wait. It's been a difficult journey to get here, but I never stopped writing. My intention was to wait until I had something substantial enough for an update. In the years past, I've realized a lot of silly mistakes I made and felt inadequate. I'm compelled to give this story the life that it deserves and to give you—my dear readers, a story you deserve.
The main storyline stays the same with added content. But it has been heavily rewritten and uploaded as of 28/06/2022, so please read it from the beginning. I try to follow the cannon as best as I can. However, considering the new revelations, this story is officially set in an alternative universe where the Miyanos and Akais aren't related.
Although it contains explicit sexual content, it is not a sexually heavy story. The main focus is still comedy and drama. Please follow my Tumblr for accompanying artwork.
I do not give warnings of sexual content at the beginning of a chapter, because I feel that it diminishes the reading experience somewhat. Instead, all the warnings are in the first chapter.
My apologies to the British readers. I've never been to the UK. Everything I know is through research. If I offend you in any way or get anything wrong, please forgive me.
Again, thank you for your patience and support. And a special thank you to Gibson for your wonderful comment. I didn't know it was a trope until you pointed it out. I took inspiration from the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
Thank you and hope you all enjoy my story.
Tumblr: wormwoodwine . tumblr . com
Chapter 1 The Akais
The sun wielded all its might against winter's icy breath. On this rare occasion, it was winning. As if to celebrate the victory, the light eagerly poured through every window, making the otherwise heartless building come to life.
Glass, concrete, and steel enveloped the corner office of a typical high-rise building. Towering over the surrounding buildings was the image that a security company wanted to project. Even the interior conveyed a superior notion, decorated with metal ornaments, and adorned with awards. Not a pen on the table or a crease on the leather armchair was out of place.
Shuichi Akai [1] sat on the sofa, took a deep breath, and placed his pen on the dotted line of the contract. When his signature fully formed, his new life in London began.
A man smiled ever so lightly as Akai handed him the documents. His eyes quickly scanned the pages, then gave his new colleague a firm handshake. "We're glad that you accepted our offer. As you already know, G2S is a busy company; we couldn't give you more time to settle in. But you are more than welcome to take a half-day."
"Thank you." With a smile, Akai imagined all the things he could get squared away with a little free time. After the organization's demise, he retired as an FBI agent and a security consultant seemed like the best position to build a family.
The meeting was brief, so not more than an hour later, he arrived home with the smell of freshly baked cookies startling his senses. He felt guilty leaving Akemi alone unpacking boxes; though, there wasn't much to unpack. He had always traveled light, and Akemi decided to turn a new chapter, leaving most of her childhood mementos to her sister in Japan. They had been able to secure a completely furnished house, so they wouldn't be neck-deep in Ikea. His new job came on rather suddenly, leaving him little time to be picky.
He stood there in the doorway, taken back by the beauty in front of him. The sunlight illuminated the slender figure, completely focused on the task at hand. Her bountiful ebony long hair casually swayed with every movement she made. Akemi carefully set the tray of piping hot cookies on the kitchen counter. A set of strong arms embraced her waist, successfully startling her.
"What are you doing?" he said, hugging his wife from behind. Yes, she was his wife. It was hard to believe that, just four years ago [2], he thought she was dead. Apparently, the woman who died in the bank robbery wasn't Akemi. And she had been hiding ever since.
The most surprising aspect was that the architect behind Akemi's death—Gin and a begrudging Vermouth. Their departures were sudden, along with the last remnants of the organization; since then those names have faded in the wind. Four years had passed already; maybe he would leave the ghosts alone.
"I thought that we could make something delicious to greet our neighbors." Akemi placed the cookies on a plate. They had chosen a house in a quiet neighborhood. It was quite expensive, but you couldn't put a price on peace. With the savings from his undercover days and his new salary, money wouldn't be a problem. "What are you doing home so early? Don't you work on Saturday too?"
"My boss let me take half a day off."
Akemi wanted to put her best foot forward. She devised a fail-proof plan to impress her neighbor. The closest one was right across the street. For some reason, only their two houses were occupied, and the rest were vacant. The next-nearest neighbor was a three-minute walk away. She had spent an hour alone in the supermarket trying to find the perfect container to put her allergy-friendly cookies. Her recipe was dairy-free, nut-free, wheat-free, gluten-free, peanut-free, soy-free, and tasted just as good.
-o0o-
As the couple made their way across the street, Akai observed the house in front of him. A typical two-story house with a small garden situated next to a gravel driveway, fenced in by a yew hedge, with a detached garage.
While other homeowners might strive for a beautiful garden or fancy cars, apparently to whoever lived there, being neat was the only goal. Everything about the house was neat.
The knocker was in dead center, not even minutely skewed, the kid's slide perfectly aligned with the green turtle sandbox; the hedge and lawn perfectly maintained. The owners chose two low-maintained plants: yew and tall fescue, to maximize their control with the least effort.
Neat and controlled. Something about this house struck him with a sense of familiarity.
Greeting them was a little girl in proper winter wear. She couldn't be more than three or four years old. Again, the sense of familiarity was enhanced. Was it her long wavy blonde hair or her bright blue eyes? He couldn't tell.
"Hello." Akemi crouched down to meet the child's gaze. "Are your mom and dad home?"
"Hi." The young lady immediately spotted the sweets inside the transparent container, but she pretended as if she didn't notice. "Who are you?"
"We're your new neighbors. Can you get your mom and dad for us?" Akemi asked.
"I don't know." The child glanced around to make sure they were alone. "But a cookie helps."
Her answer put a smile on Akemi's face. "The faster you get your parents, the sooner you can eat these cookies."
However, the child refused to take the bait. "Two adults giving a little girl sweets looks bad. It'll look worse when I start screaming."
The former FBI agent and his partner were dumbfounded.
Nonetheless, before they could process the situation, the girl opened her mouth in preparation to belt out the loudest scream possible. Panic set in; Akemi quickly opened the container and gave the child a cookie. "Okay, okay, you can have one."
Her expression changed to pure joy the moment Akemi gave in.
"Thank you so much. You're so nice," she said, munching happily. "I'm Katie. Nice to meet you."
Akemi didn't know how to take her introduction. She still hadn't rebounded back from the fact that a child had just extorted her. As soon as Kate finished, she walked back to the house and called out. "Mommy! Daddy! Someone wants to see you!"
Kate gestured for them to follow her. "Come with me."
Opening the door was a man with long blond hair covering his entire back. The sight of him plunged the couple into shock. Both parties stood still, trying to digest the information overload.
"Shuichi Akai!"
"Gin!"
"Do you know them?' Kate asked; her eyes beamed with curiosity.
Her voice brought Gin's attention to her. It didn't take long before he noticed the remaining crumbs on her lips. "What did I tell you about taking food from strangers?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Kate said, whistling, not meeting her father's glare.
"If it makes you feel any better, she extorted the cookies from us." Akemi tried to defuse the situation as the air was practically crackling with tension.
"How many did she get?" Gin asked.
"One." The question took Akemi off guard, but she answered anyway, "They're allergy-friendly."
"That's it? You couldn't get them all." Gin smirked at the girl.
Kate's face fell, but instead of saying anything back, she whined, "Mommy! Daddy's being mean to me. Again!"
Then a tidal wave of recognition rushed over Akai. If you aged the child twenty years, she would have looked exactly like the woman walking toward them.
Vermouth, the couple thought.
Vermouth wore a simple white dress; with one swift movement; she picked up the child and kissed her blown-up cheek. "Is he now?" Rather than being surprised, she greeted them. "Hello there."
Akemi marveled at the surreal image unfolding in front of her. A little girl nestled in the arms of a cold-blooded killer.
Gin, however, was less than amused; he bellowed, "You knew!" He was more sure than ever. "YOU KNEW AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!"
"You didn't want to know. Remember?" Vermouth tutted.
Their conversation a couple of nights ago flooded back.
The crisp, cold air enveloped two intertwined bodies. In the darkness, heavy breathing subsided. Vermouth said out of the blue while pulling up the covers before the chilling temperature settled in. "Shuichi Akai got married."
Gin was happy, and content, up until she uttered those dreaded words. "I don't give a shit. He can go to hell for all I care."
"I take it that you don't want anything to do with him, then?" Vermouth asked, and Gin swore he could see her smirking even in the dimly illuminating room. An unfortunate omen sank in the bottom of his stomach, but at the moment, all he wanted was a good night's sleep.
"How many iterations of no do I need to tell you before you leave me alone?" He snarled.
"Suit yourself," Vermouth said, grinning.
That brought him back to the present.
"Oh, fucking hell!" He loathed the satisfied look on her face.
"Don't swear in front of your daughter!" Vermouth feigned disapproval, her hands covering Kate's ears, but they barely managed to have any effect.
"Bad daddy! Does he get a time-out?" Kate asked with too much glee in her voice. "When I say bad words, I get time-outs."
"I'd love to, but unfortunately, no." Vermouth placed her lips gently on the child's head. "Who would make you dinner or do the laundry?"
"Aw, fine!" Kate, on the other hand, was genuinely disappointed. "You're free to go, daddy."
"Thank you, your highness!" Gin's lips tightened, stretched out, and formed a thin line; then, he snapped back at the bewildered couple. "What are you looking at?" Before they could react, he took the container and slammed the door in their faces.
"How rude, Gin." Vermouth chastised.
"They're still alive. I've earned my right!"
On the other side of the door, Akai sighed. "I should have known. There were too many clues." The child's appearance, she said "mommy" instead of "mummy" and so on. "We could get a hotel. I can find somewhere else to rent …"
"Hold on, Shu!" Akemi didn't give him the chance to finish. "You've just started a new job, and we've invested so much into the place. Now, they have a child to take care of. I doubt that they will do anything reckless."
He took a deep breath and regained some nerves. "You're right. But I'll find somewhere that we can stay in case of an emergency." Both of them fell into silence for a long, excruciating minute, then Akai finally said, "Gin is my neighbor. And Vermouth. With their kid. "
"Yes." Akemi stroked his back consolingly.
"Great."
-o0o-
[1] For years, I've always thought that Akai was his first name.
[2] I mistakenly counted Katie's age on New Year's Day and not on her birthday. For her to be 3 years old, I have added 1 year to the timeline.