Author's Note: You do not have to have read The Unicorn to read this fic, you just have to know Veronica, Logan, and Dick had a sizzling hot, one-time-only threesome before he started dating Mac. And if you don't believe they would ever do such a thing…read The Unicorn and let me convince you. *smilingdevil emoji*
#
This one is dedicated to MaggieeeeeR for nudging me to write a sequel to The Unicorn, and to NatashaRostov for giving me the "Veronica and Dick fake dating for a case" prompt to make my muse come to life so this fic could actually happen.
Thanks to Louise 88 and Grayce for tracking down the Grade My Ass canon for me!
Chapter One: I Need a Favor
Veronica walked into the suite at the Neptune Grand, where Dick and Logan were in the hot midst of a video game. "We have a problem."
"Climate change?"
"Ugly girls on Spring Break?"
"American shallowness and vanity being accelerated by the proliferation of image-based social media?"
"Dude, do you feel like pot's getting weaker? I feel like pot's getting weaker."
Logan paused the video game and Dick groaned in protest. Her boyfriend ignored that, his eyes warming as he looked up at her. "Hi."
She felt her smile getting a little too fond as she gazed at Logan, so she jerked her eyes away and nodded to Dick as she dropped her bag in its usual place by the sofa. Dick puckered a kiss her way and sneakily unpaused the video game, starting to play again while Logan extended an arm and pulled her silkily into his lap.
"Problem, you say?" He lifted a kiss from her lips. "Who do I need to kill, and who do you need to frame?"
"Hmm, not a killing problem. I just need a date to a dance." She batted her eyes. "Know anybody?"
"Mac looks pretty hot tonight," Dick said. "You should take her."
Veronica looked up. "Holy dress. I didn't see you there. Under all those flames."
"Ha ha," Mac said dryly, glancing over from where she was wrangling her pantyhose in the kitchenette. She had on a black, curve-hugging dress with slashed cutouts at the shoulders, hiked dangerously high so she could poke at her pantyhose. "Seriously, Bond, are pantyhose supposed to be like this? They have the waist of toddler's jeans, it's cutting me in half, and I feel like an idiot. On my big night."
"Your big night?" Veronica's eyes went round. "Shit, what day is it?"
"Yup, that day," Logan said. "I told you she didn't forget."
"Dude, she did forget. She just showed up asking for a favor date, probably for a case, on your biggest night of the year."
Veronica flicked Dick in the ear and he yelped. "I didn't forget the award ceremony, you chimpanzee. I forgot that today was the fourteenth!"
He pouted, looking wounded. Logan picked up his controller and, one-handed, tossed Dick's avatar off a cliff. "You guys are both being mean to me!" Dick whined and reached for the bag of Skittles on the coffee table.
Veronica gave him a narrow-eyed look. "That's for betting against me."
"And that's for unpausing it and trying to sneak one off on me while I was busy kissing my girlfriend," Logan added.
"Can someone please help me with these pantyhose, and I literally do not care who," Mac gritted out. "As long as I can breathe and have a waist the size of a whole human person at the end."
Logan lifted Veronica onto the couch next to him and got up. Flicked out a pocket knife. "Don't move."
"Uh." Mac's eyes went large.
"Um, Mac?" Dick picked up the controller and started the next level without Logan. "Seriously don't move, though."
Logan hiked up her dress, slashed the pantyhose across the front. "Turn, please." Looking a bit shell-shocked, Mac did. Logan sliced the back, holding the mesh carefully away from her skin. Flipped the pocketknife closed. "Now, just pull the rest off like a pair of shorts, and run and go get a set of Veronica's garters from the bedroom. Second drawer down. That'll hold up what's left and you'll be able to breathe for the rest of the night. Which…" He gave her a courtly little bow. "Will be kind of important, since you're giving the speech."
"Not it," Mac said immediately.
"Should have thought of that before you were the ass-ter-mind behind Grade My Ass being the most hotly downloaded new app of the year."
"It was your idea!"
"That would have been nothing but hot air without you to make"—he wiggled his fingers—"computer magic. I have nothing to say to app nerds. You have so much to say you probably shouldn't, so they can't learn from your great big brain and swipe any market share out from under us. Still, you should probably do the speech."
"So they can swipe our market share?"
Logan gave her a look. Mac glared back.
"Oh, right, so you can make me suffer."
"Or take your rightful share of the limelight. Potato, potahdo." He hopped over the back of the couch and dropped with his head in Veronica's lap and his feet in Dick's. Dick lifted up the controller to make space for him. Veronica stroked her nails over Logan's hair.
"Do you want me to come? I can ditch this party." The loss of that lead itched at her even as she said it. When was she going to get a shot at her suspect's bare ass ever again? And what would happen to all those kids without her?
Logan looked at her like she was a few nuts short of a hardware store. "You think I want you to come watch me hanging out. At a tech conference. Um, no."
She poked him in the side. "You know, if Mac doesn't want to make the speech, you should make it for her. Not everybody's good with words like you."
"'A wise man speaks because he has something to say, a fool speaks because he has to say something,'" Logan quoted. "Plato. I talk all the time. Mac's the one with something to add, for a tech conference. Now, you need a date for a dance? I can skip the ceremony."
"It's TechCrunch Disrupt," Mac screeched from the bedroom, zooming back out into the main room to gape at him. "You imbecile, you Philistine, you DOS PROMPT of a man! You cannot miss getting a major industry award and a fifty-thousand-dollar prize check to FAKE DATE YOUR OWN GIRLFRIEND."
Logan smiled up at Veronica. "Why not? She's pretty."
"Gahhh!" Mac dropped to her knees in the middle of the living room.
"Can't do that in pantyhose, either," Veronica advised from over the back of the couch. "They run."
"Of course, you can't," Mac said, slumped with her face all the way onto the floor now. "You can't do anything interesting in pantyhose."
"You can now that they're thigh-highs," Dick said. "Thanks for that, dude."
"No distracting me with sex!" Mac yelped. "Especially if I have to make the speech now. I can't have orgasm-mush-brain all night." She darted back to the bedroom, throwing a warning look at her boyfriend as she went.
"Mac's right, though." Veronica bent to kiss Logan on the tip of the nose. "You can't be my date, no matter how pretty you are. You have to go get awards and adulation and stuff."
Logan shuddered. "Must I?"
"I'll go," Dick said, still playing his video game. "Will there be beer?"
"There…will be beer." Veronica was thinking fast. Having a date to this particular kind of party was going to be very tricksy, if Logan wasn't free. But it was a really good lead. And if anyone on earth could pull off undercover at…this…kind of party with her, it would be Dick. After all, they'd—Veronica mentally cone-of-silenced herself. She never even thought the word "threesome" anymore, especially not months later when Dick had a girlfriend, and it would never happen again, and nobody spoke of it, and it was all very far in the past.
The only thing was, she couldn't say what the party was in front of Logan, if he couldn't go. Which meant she couldn't ask Dick if he was up for what tonight would actually mean. Which meant she would have to fly by the seat of her pants and hope he would go along with it.
Which was a pretty good bet, actually, when it came to Dick.
"Means being my date," she said to Dick.
"Kay." He tossed a Skittle in his mouth.
"And pretending to be into me."
He grimaced. "Do I have to?"
She snagged another Skittle—a lowly green—and pegged him with it. "Yes."
"Beer and liquor, or just beer?"
"Full bar." She considered. "And probably some ecstasy."
"Sweet!" He tossed the controller. "I could pretend to be into you if I had molly."
"Aww, do you mean it?" She clasped her hands beside her cheek. "You sweet talker."
Logan snickered. "Careful, Dick. That's the tone she hits right before you start losing limbs. And I wouldn't put it past her to go for the namesake."
Dick leapt over the back of the couch to safer ground. He pointed at Veronica. "You have to play nice, if I'm gonna be your date. No blood."
She pouted. "Fine."
"No taser!"
"But what if you say something really asinine?"
"Then you can hit me and I'll say sorry but no taser this time, Veronica, I'm serious."
"Fine. You never let me have any fun."
Dick headed off to change and she shouted, "Black tie," after him.
"Think he might have caught that part, sugar-puss," Logan said, plucking at the bodice of her spangled, floor-length ball gown and its nearly waist-height slit.
"You can never tell, with Dick."
She blew out a long breath and allowed herself one last boyfriend snuggle. She'd been bracing herself for how many people Logan would punch if she brought him to a swinger's party, even for a case. But now…going with Dick…it was complicated for a whole new reason.
For expectation calibration purposes, this is gonna be 3 chapters of hijinks and 2 chapters of mega-smut.