So! This is a rewrite of the first fic I ever attempted. For those familiar with my work, more info at the bottom of the chapter! For those new here, hey! Enjoy!

Set a couple of years after Maria fell, this fic begins during the first season, during the time when the 104th Cadets were still training etc.

Disclaimer: I don't own Attack on Titan (only time I'm bothering to do this because duh).

They say you're only a real Scout once you return from a mission still alive.

I'd done that, and yet… Gear jammed during training, ass left swinging in the breeze, ladies and gentlemen, a real Scout; Robyn Sanshi, at your service. I couldn't have felt further from that if I bloody tried. Plus, I'm not sure how much I agreed with the sentiment anyway – some folks counted qualified before they've even graduated. It's a mindset, a personality, a drive. Having said that, maybe I was just being a sentimental fool. Hardly what I'm known for, but I don't like to think of my fallen classmates as not having made the cut, simply because their first missions ended with Fate squatting and shitting all over their dreams. We all had the drive. We all had the training. Some of us just had a bit more luck.

Then again, I could hardly claim to be in the company of luck often.

I'd survived two missions, solo killed five Titans and had a few scrapes and bruises to show for it. But all that aside, it didn't help me in my current situation.

"Fucking gear…" I grumbled, arms folded and lips pursed as I controlled my tantrum at the world for laughing at me so damn determinedly. One hook kept me attached to the branch above, the other sat uselessly in it's holster, refusing to further partake in today's training. I couldn't blame it. The heat was awful, my new time record for the course was long gone, and my straps were once again making me feel like 10lbs of sausage stuffed into a 5lb casing. I'm slight enough, it's just the damned chest area causing problems. Petra insists I shouldn't just use my gear to chop the damn things off. Apparently it's not a good idea. Safe to say the debate continues to crop up between us occasionally.

I sighed and grabbed the wire, starting to swing myself closer to another wire, sticking my tongue out as I used small puffs of my tanks to get more momentum. Come on. Don't plummet to your untimely death or a badly bruised tailbone. Just a little more. It was only training, so the threat of death via the steaming jaws of some inanely smiling Titan wasn't the issue. No. The issue was Captain Levi spotting this shitshow of a moment and taking all his leisurely time over picking me apart, or just being his usual sarcastic arse self. My toes brushed the branch. Dammit. A little more.

I gritted my teeth, swung harder and stumbled onto the branch at long last. Little victories were important, so yes, I did throw my arms in the air and triumphantly 'whoop'. Then I retracted the wire and slowly wound it back into the casing, before raising my fist and giving the damn thing a good whack.

"Son-of-a-bitch gear, I would've had a new record if you hadn't bloody jammed again. Four times in two weeks is too much y'hear me you twat–"

"Mind your mouth, Cadet."

I jolted, stopping my bashing of the gear, shifting a blade free of the casing and slicing along my thumb. At least it was only a cut and not the removal of a digit. I winced and stuck my thumb into my mouth before retracting and giving a quick salute to the unimpressed gaze of the Captain.

And thus, my crappy day continued.

He frowned and his gaze lingered on my thumb. "Leave the brutality for the Titans, Cadet, not your gear or yourself. And just get the damn thing fixed. Last thing you need is it giving out on an actual mission."

"Yes, sir."

"You can walk back from here, yes? Not injured?"

"I'll be fine to walk."

I was tempted to ask for replacement gear, but the apathetic gaze said it all. Not happening. It was late afternoon already, most were off-duty by now. I pulled a hook free and knelt to jam it into the wood. Of course, he could have given me a hand, but I wasn't about to ask for the help; beyond knowing he'd refuse, I hardly wanted to be bridal carried to the undergrowth by him. He used the word 'cadet' and occasionally 'Brat', but I knew I was barely five years younger than him. I joined later than most recruits, my own reasons for signing up being highlighted when Maria fell three years ago. Still, he outranked me, so 'brat' I'd remain, I guess.

I stood, ready to lower myself when he cleared his throat.

He raised a brow. "Is it functioning enough for you to control the descent?"

"I wouldn't risk it otherwise, sir." I shrugged. "I can slowly loosen it and then wind it back up when I'm at the bottom. Anything else, sir? I'd like to get out of the way."

"Indeed, go ahead Sanshi."

"Thank you, sir."

I lowered myself and freed the hook, walking along the track towards the finish line. Finally, the rest of my class passed overhead and I clicked my tongue at their slow progress. And even with that, they chatted and laughed. They had been on missions like myself, I was sure. Yet there seemed to be such a distance between us. Was it just the age? A lot of them were still kids, whereas I was nearly halfway through my twenties. Maybe that was it. Or maybe they'd had fairly normal lives before signing up. And really, that wasn't something I'd ever fault someone for. It was a good thing.

A smile pulled at my lips and I let my head hang back, whistling as I headed for the compound. In a couple of days it would be my birthday again. It always seemed to come round so quickly. I smirked. LIke always, I'd wear the red ribbon me and Keza shared before we parted. I hoped she was alright. But knowing her, she would be. Wherever she was. I cracked my neck and took note of my surroundings; the training area looked so different from down here, it made me wonder what the world looked like beyond Wall Rose and Maria from way down on the ground. Before the fall, I hadn't really explored much of Maria beyond my home in Shiganshina. I wish I had. Then again, most of us probably wished we had taken advantage of all that extra room when we had it.

Humanity. Kings of hindsight.

My throat pinched and I took a quick swig of water. I hadn't filled it properly before starting my run, stupid move, especially after having done afternoon patrol with Petra. I rolled my eyes at myself.

Kings of hindsight indeed.

Still, it could have been worse, the Captain barely scolded me for the gear jam. Usually he seemed to take pleasure in berating recruits. Most cadets had their first Captain Levi chew-out by the time they hit the six month mark. I got mine in my first week.

"And just what kind of a shitshow is this meant to be?" He had barked, eyes alight as he gestured to my straps which were apparently appalling despite my own eyes finding no issue. My blank stare did little to help my case. He glared. "You go out on a mission with that kind of crap display and you'll get yourself and your team killed. Sort it out, idiot. Damn brats…" He stormed away, shaking his head with disappointment radiating from every stomped step.

Later Petra helpfully aided me in figuring out that I had my torso straps on backwards. It would have potentially led to a bad case of loosening on the field, with too much movement shifting them free. Whoops.

It was my first chew-out, but definitely not my last. Once he recalled your name, the target was definitely bigger as it hung in the middle of your back.

Clunk.

"Look out!" Someone yelped from above, the 'clunking' having been a failed hook moments earlier.

I looked up and flinched as a small skinny body toppled towards me. I tried to gauge their trajectory and made a leap to dampen their fall, but in all honesty I can't be sure how much I helped. Ow. We tumbled into the undergrowth, leaves and twigs flying everywhere, and jamming into a few unkind places as well. My fellow rookie only narrowly avoided slicing my arm open as she flailed with her blades out for some damn reason. Did she think they sped her up or something? I untangled myself from her and shook my head. Damn idiot. I put the swords away and sat her up against a tree, her eyes blinking slow and glassy whenever they did manage to stay open.

Mouse brown hair. Round face. I think she was from my class, but her name didn't occur to me as I checked her for injuries – Hanji's suggestion that I should learn names more often rang in my ears. Something else I'd forgotten to do. Mercifully the girl seemed to only have a concussion; she must have hit a branch above and failed to rectify her route after.

I fanned her face. "Hey, can you hear me?"

"Mm…"

"Not an answer kid, come on…" I tapped her face and flinched as the finishing bell sounded. The Captain would not be impressed, but then again, that wasn't my top priority at that point. I was no humanitarian, but the poor girl was completely out of it, and I'd like to think that if a fellow Scout found me in such a state, they wouldn't leave me behind to dribble into my lap.

"Finishing… Bell…" She pouted.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, come and gone."

"W-What happened?" She groaned and tried to sit up, but I gently held her in place.

"I have no bloody clue, you came wailing down from the sky like a demented bird. From the head wound I'd guess you hit a branch and–"

"Oi!" Captain Levi barked from above. "You aiming for a new record for slowest run, now? Bit of a weird move considering but..." Captain Levi's voice drawled up behind me, landing softly before his wires retracted.

I looked over my shoulder and then gestured to the mumbling Mouse. "Figured I shouldn't leave her out here, sir."

"Would that be Cadet Talen?"

"Could be." I blinked and he frowned, kneeling beside me to check the cadet himself. "She kinda mumbled sir, but it seems to be a concussion. I tried to catch her but… well I–"

"Got any water?" He sighed. "This brat needs to wake up, or carrying her is going to be a pain in the ass."

"Or the ribs in your case, sir." I snorted and pursed my lips as he shot me a look. "Sorry."

"My recovery is not your concern, Sanshi. Now then, water?"

Despite how my own head pounded, I handed it over. Talen needed it more, no doubt. She blinked drunkenly and sipped the water as he tried to help her hold her head up.

I looked her over. "I think could carry her back, if she can hold onto me enough that is."

"You're clearly dehydrated already, Cadet. I'll–"

"Sir, with all due respect, I wasn't entirely joking when I brought up your ribs earlier. I wouldn't want you to put stress on the healing injury."

He glared. "And your preferences would matter, because?"

"Because I'm the one who's gonna look like an ass sir, if your recovery is set back when I was there to help."

"Ah, so entirely selfish reasons?" He raised a brow.

I shrugged. "Sure, if you want."

However he needed to pad out his bruised ego didn't particularly matter to me. But regardless, Hanji had asked me to keep an eye on him in training, to report back if he seemed to be struggling at all or be pushing too hard. It's not like I was any better at reading the man than anyone else, but I had a better view than she did from her lab. Not that the Captain had to know any of this; for my own well-being and Hanji's.

I stood and cracked my back, shrugging off my gear. "As long as you can carry my busted gear back to the compound sir, we should be good."

He sighed. "If you have to stop Sanshi, say so. I don't need two useless rookies taking up my afternoon."

"Wouldn't dare, sir."

"Using 'sir' doesn't negate the shitty tone." He handed me back my empty water and took my gear. "Sort it out, Cadet."

"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir."

Fuck off you pain in the ass. I barely had the patience for my own damned body-heat, let alone his nitpicking nonsense.

I kept one strap separate for him to bind her hands in front of me, to try and make it easier to carry her. Like a human sized rucksack. She slumped against my back and I held her legs to my waist. She was tiny, but in that heat she might as well have been a ten metre titan leaning on me.

Not bothering to wait for his 'ok' to move, I trudged onwards. I knew the way back, and a cold shower was calling my name, along with the water pitcher in my room, and getting out of this sweat sodden uniform. Talen mumbled in my ear occasionally; something about the Captain, something about stable duty, something vaguely close enough to 'thank you' for me to take it as such. Sure thing, kid. Just don't puke on me.

A green flare fired into the sky as we went. No doubt he had gathered a team to wait nearby in case there was real trouble. Two cadets missing on a training run wasn't a great sign, but thankfully my own status had been primarily beyond my own control. Not that I expected him to see it like that – our gear, our responsibility. I hitched Talen higher and groaned at the slight incline we passed over, my knees began to shake as the pale light ahead indicated the edge of the trees. Why was it, when in striking distance of the finish line, our bodies always got that bit weaker? Or like when you're reached the front door, suddenly you needed to pee even worse.

Talen shifted, as if she had suddenly woken, and I stumbled down onto one knee.

"Dammit…" I growled, nearly tipping right over before she settled again.

"Sanshi stop, I'll take her from here."

"We're nearly back, sir. I can do this." I hauled myself upright. If I didn't just get on with this, he would be left having to carry both me and Talen, and even with him being freakishly strong, I didn't think that would be happening any time soon. He'd leave me arse up, face in the dirt. Or just kick me all the way back.

He hadn't been badly injured in the last mission, but the ribs were a bad area for anyone to get a scrape or strain. Our gear relied on our cores so much, and beyond that, it being the Captain Levi getting injured always knocked morale. A scrape here. A sprain there. Rare occurrences I was informed by Mike, but even the Captain had his human moments. The idea made me snort. Captain Levi and Human in the same sentence? Without a 'not' in between. Madness.

We passed into open sunshine and I sighed at the sound of running medics. Thank you. They took the rag-doll of Talen to a stretcher and rushed her inside. I waved them off and leaned on my knees, which seemed to be filled with water. Deep breath. Get inside. Climb the bastard stairs and then flop into a shower and let the water drum away the day.

I took a step towards the main building.

"Somewhere to be, Sanshi?"

Dear fucking god go get in the bin you– "No, sir. What can I help you with, sir?" I stopped and turned, dipping my head in place of yet another salute.

He looked me over. "Considering that without the gear malfunction you'd have been close to my own time record for the course, I figure you're hardly in need of more course training at the moment. So tomorrow morning you'll meet with Petra and Gunter to deal with the new initiative we are putting into place."

"Uhuh… What initiative, sir?"

"You'll find out tomorrow. Now go get a shower, you look disgusting."

"Yes, sir." I turned and trudged inside, fairly sure there had been three of him in the damn compound by the time he ordered me away. I stumbled on a stone and a small chuckle sounded behind. I didn't look. I assumed it was some cheeky cadet or something – laughter from the Captain would be far too human.

The shadow of the main building was most welcome, and the chill within the cold stone walls was blissful. Thank you, whoever built this big bastard. Though you could have used fewer stairs. I gripped the bannister and hauled myself up, concentrating on one foot in front of the other.

"You didn't drink enough again." Petra tsked, coming alongside to loop her arm through mine, taking some of my weight. Usually I'd have argued, but in that moment, she was my saviour.

I grinned. "You're such a nag, Petra."

"And you're a repeat offender in the 'dumbass' variety." She snorted, squeezing my arm. "I heard you helped Talen get back to base though, that was kind."

"She effectively cannon-balled into my face. I didn't exactly have a lot of option."

"You still helped, so I'm still giving you the praise. Deal with it." She rolled her eyes and we reached the top of the stairs, leaving just a long-ass corridor to my quarters. One foot in front of the other. "I also hear you're joining me and Gunter tomorrow morning?"

"You hear a lot very quickly, lady." I laughed and leaned against the wall by my door. "But yes, can confirm, I will be joining you in whatever the hell it is that we're meant to be doing."

"Supposedly the prisons are overflowing, so we're taking on some inmates for busy-work around the compound. We're adept enough to deal with them and they're given this posting as a kind of reprieve."

I blinked. "So… We talking thieves or…"

She shrugged. "Not sure really, could be anything from a pick-pocket to a killer as far as I know. The councils aren't exactly putting in a lot of effort."

"Do they ever?" We chuckled and I patted her shoulder. "All right, well I'll see you in the morning, okay? Gonna go clean myself then pass out."

"Don't forget about dinner."

"Yeah, yeah, Mum." I swatted her away and got inside my room, immediately grabbing the water pitcher to take long, but slow sips. Perfect. It was lukewarm but it didn't matter. Sweet nectar of the gods.

Some dribbled down my front, and by the time I had finished the pitcher was empty and my shirt was even more soaked than before. Lovely. The Captain had been entirely correct; I looked disgusting. Thankfully, training wasn't a beauty contest, and I had little reason to give a damn what anyone thought.

The communal showers were empty for once, a small blessing in an otherwise horrendous day. I stepped into the cubicle, unwrapped my towel from my middle and got the water going. I let it rise barely above cold and stood under the torrent, letting it drum against my shoulders and slowly wash away the day's grime and toil. Bliss. I sighed and hung my head forward. The rest of the day would be mine to do with whatever I wanted, but I had the sneaking suspicion my main activity would be sleeping and maybe reading. There was no telling what this new 'initiative' of the Captain's was going to be, so I figured it would be best to rest while I could.

My knees ached and I let myself sink down, leaning against the tiles, sitting in the shower bowl, watching the water circle the drain. Six months. Somehow it felt like I had always been there, always been peeling myself out of that uniform. Weird. I sighed and laid my head back against the tiles, lathering the soap between my hands. Another reason to sit my ass down really, the soap was down here anyway. I scrubbed my body and hair, soon squeaking with cleanliness, but more importantly, a lack of sweat. My hands itched. Dammit. My eyes skimmed downwards, knowing full well what they'd find. It didn't matter how hard I scrubbed, or how much soap I used, my hands were never going to be fully clean were they? Some days were better than others. I started to untangle my hair instead. No need to torment myself by staring.

My head was in a weird place.

To distract myself I tried to look back over training, but the gear jam took up too much room. I wondered, if I had faltered on the way back to camp, would the Captain have managed to carry me and Talen? I looked up, closing my eyes as the water cascaded down, pattering my face. Talen on his back and what… me in a bridal carry? I snorted and then laughed as the image continued, the entire compound gathering round him, girls and guys alike swooning in his wake as they wished they were me or Talen. The Captain was handsome, don't get me wrong, but he gave off about as much sexual tension as a Titan.

Brute force.

Immeasurable strength.

But a bit of a blank fucking wall, unless he was sassing you of course. I chuckled a little more as I considered his unimpressed expression as the ridiculousness of the image continued. Hysterical laughter bubbled out of me and I hugged myself tight as my whole body shuddered.

Oh dear. I think I'm tired.

"Cut the noise, Brat."

I bit my lip and rolled my eyes. There was no reason for him not to be there, it was a communal room of course, but I did rather wish he would take his towel and fuck off. Instead, the curtain in the next cubicle rattled to and fro, and steam rose into the ceiling. Seemed he liked a bit of a roast to begin with, slowly lowering it afterwards.

"I had reports Ral had to help you up the stairs, Sanshi. Did I ask too much of you?"

"She's a helpful girl, sir. Just being kind to me."

Something like a snort sounded from him. "Girl, huh? I forget you're older than most of them."

"Mm, a good six or more years in some cases." I yawned. "Late joiner. Petra's got a good head on her shoulders though, decent kid."

"A kid you had to rely on to get up the stairs."

I curled in on myself, letting his snide remark land in the quiet amongst the hissing water. It needed no response. If he wanted to shoulder the world alone, that was his decision. Usually I did the same, but I wasn't about to outright refuse Petra's kindness. It was a rare commodity in our world. Plus, one way or the other, be it at training camp or here, she had wriggled her way into my heart. Stubborn girl.

The Captain began scrubbing. "If you are in need of respite, say so earlier. That's my point."

"I was fine, sir. But I thank you for the concern—"

"You assume a lot."

I grabbed the soap, and dug my nails into it, imagining it was his smug skull. "Today's training was nothing I couldn't handle. Was my performance lacking, sir?"

"Tch, why is it you always assume criticism?"

Says the man who just admonished me for assuming he was concerned for my well-being. Pick a side you asshat.

I drew a deep breath. "I assume everyone has criticism, sir. Easiest assumption to make."

"Decent outlook." He muttered. I waited for something to follow the compliment. "Although you were an inexcusable idiot."

Ding, ding, ding.

"Of course, sir." I smoothed the dents in the soap. He wasn't worth the jail time. "What particular instance of stupidity are you referring to?"

"Don't be a smart-ass. It was clear in the compound that you were dehydrated, to the point of delirium. You could barely walk straight."

"Yes, sir."

"Had we been out in the field that could have been fatal. Both to you and your team."

"Sir, Tolen needed the water more than—"

"Heroism isn't required of you brat, killing Titans and surviving is. Also, it was Talen."

"Permission to speak freely sir?" I spoke as calmly as possible between clenched teeth.

"Keep the swearing to a minimum. Permission granted."

"This is all contextual. Talen wouldn't have only had me or you to help her in the field, and had she fallen like that in Titan territory, she'd be dead, and therefore not an issue. Ergo, my 'heroism' wouldn't apply in the field. However, knowing how far it was to the compound, and knowing I could make it, made the choice simple, and not endangering." I spout all this as I sat up and hit my head back against the tiles, turning the water back to ice as my temper flared.

I had helped a fellow cadet, and I even technically helped this prick avoid furthering his previous injuries, and yet he was giving me shit. I focused on the cold of the water. He had his reasons. Of course he did. Not only did he have responsibilities as a Captain, he had far more experience than me in the field. I could respect that. But I wasn't about to be admonished for helping a kid get to the infirmary quicker. Regardless, I had to keep a lid on my temper. A prat though he was, he still out-ranked me and would easily beat the living shit out of me. A beating, I could take. But it had been a long time since I let someone do it without reason. If I fucked up, fine. But I hadn't. So I'd be damned if I was gonna be pushed around by him. Still. No need to rage out.

Although, I still looked up at the shower head and wondered if it'd fit down his throat.

"Sanshi, you still put yourself at risk without reason. Next time inform me of your issue. It'll just be me that gets shit from the Commander if you hurt yourself during training."

"So I can be another useless rookie? No thanks." I sighed, slapped my water off, wrapped my towel into place and pulled back my curtain to leave.

I'd intended to sit there and let the water drown out my exhaustion, but the weight of having to manoeuvre around the Captain's words was too tiring. It then occurred to me that my tone was rather lacking, yet again. I cringed and tried to sneak out before he got out of his shower.

Please let me escape, please?

"Cadet."

Fuckery.

I stopped and turned, waiting as he emerged from the cloud of steam. Even though he was stronger than nearly every other person in the regiment, I was a bit surprised by how built he was – that uniform didn't do him any favours. Even the likes of Mike, towering over everyone, made of nothing but muscle, struggled to deal with Captain Levi in hand-to-hand.

Slowly he looked me up and down. "I understand that you don't like me Cadet, that's fine. Many Cadets, many people, don't. Not here to be liked, here to do my damn job, and part of that is looking after new cadets. Just don't go making it any harder than it already is."

And then he walked on by.

Any bluster I had in me was ripped away and tossed out a window. Not only was I another useless rookie, I was making his whole job harder than it had to be. Damn. A man of few words, but when he wanted to spell things out, he did so with a branding iron.

Maybe Keza had been right.

I headed back to my room and closed the door. The lock slid shud. I sat at my desk and took the red ribbon from where it was draped over my mirror. It threaded through my fingers, as soft and cold as usual, and I pressed it to my lips. Foolish, she called me. Just come to the interior, stay safe, she begged. But I had to try. I had to attempt fighting back. So much of my life had already been cornered by tyrants and bullies, and that was all I saw the Titans as; big hungry, ceaseless bullies. Beyond any of that, by being out here, fighting, I was helping keep her safe in there. On some level, I liked to think she understood that. On some level, I hoped one day to be able to ask her. For now all I had was that ribbon and hope.

I smiled, kissed the ribbon and put it back on the mirror.

I'd show them. Keza and the Captain alike. I could do this.

I would do this.

LEVI POV

Captain Levi finished his dinner and headed for his evening patrol, nodding to any Cadets he passed that dared to make eye-contact, ignoring those that flinched or ducked into doorways. Typical brattish behaviour. The longer they served, usually the more accustomed to him they became. And if they didn't get the chance – well, that wasn't something that was worth lingering on. But like he had said to Sanshi, he wasn't there to be liked.

His horse stood ready to go, the cadets having already prepared it for his patrol during dinner. He thanked them and headed out, glad to have decent light from the moon for once and not be headed out in the pouring rain, clinging to the light of a crappy lantern. The evening was quiet, and as he headed into the surrounding woodland he slowed his horse and took a moment to enjoy the quiet. With so many loud brats around the place, it could prove difficult to find peace.

He looked up at the swaying canopy, the light breeze making the moonlight dance above, dappling him in soft light. A frown furrowed his brow. That damn brat had hung there on her wire for a solid minute during training. Long enough that he had wondered if she'd been knocked out by falling debris, or a branch. But no, she had hung there, glaring at the wire, as if her outrage might prompt it to start functioning. He frowned harder. The woman was unhinged, clearly. A good soldier, damned talented on the gear and already had a decent record for killing their prey, but definitely odd. He clicked his tongue. Immediately, predictably so, she had put his own condition and the Talen girl's ahead of her own. He asked for her water as a test. And she just handed it over. It came up in almost all of Sanshi's evaluations; Prioritising team-mates above own well-being. It was noble and annoying.

She had only been in the regiment six months, but she made an impression from the start…

"Right, let's meet the new recruits. Good day for it."

"The hell does the weather have to do with meeting rookies?" He sighed, falling into step with Erwin despite his disinterest. Rookies. It barely felt worthwhile knowing their names until they had made it back from their first mission. By then you could usually tell if they were the type to freeze, and more importantly, survive.

"Welcome!" Erwin boomed to the surprisingly large group of young faces. They all shifted into a salute and called back 'sir' proudly. Levi scanned the group, wondering how many of them would be coming back in body bags.

Then he spotted the flash of red.

It caught his eye for resembling Isabel's fiery hair, but then he had to correct himself, no, this was brighter. Like a flame in the wind, or an ember. He wasn't sure. Someone's hair had caught in the breeze, tied back in a pony-tail, but still whipping wildly. Refusing to be contained. Levi raised a brow and stepped to the side, peering at the cadet. She stood with a perfect salute, keen hazel eyes set on the Commander – so bright that they were practically gold in the sunshine as she listened to the usual spiel Erwin gave the newcomers. She never wavered. She looked a little older than the others, a woman rather than a girl.

Older recruits intrigued him. Not only because they were less likely to test his patience like the teenagers, but also because they were more likely to have chosen the path for themselves. The kids tended to vary from 'trying to prove themselves', to 'parents couldn't afford to support them'. But an older recruit usually had more of a story. Not that it was worth learning until he knew they were competent.

Red flashed into his mind.

With her he always seemed to be thinking of red. But not just her blazing hair, the way it flowed free if her ties came loose, or she threw her head back laughing with the other cadets. No. Her thumb. A tiny cut, and yet it kept reappearing in his mind, like it mattered. What if the blade had gone further? What if it severed the thumb? You couldn't work gear without a thumb, could you? He shook his head and tried to focus on the patrol. But there it was. It kept pestering him like Shitty-Glasses and her want for a Titan to study. Pester pester. Nag, nag, nag. Annoying.

"Stop it." He sighed, closing his eyes and halting his horse. But it didn't matter what he tried, that strange feeling lingered. A weight that appeared whenever he talked to Sanshi or his mind wandered back to golden eyes and auburn hair. When had he first noticed it? Four months ago. He rolled his eyes, he already knew that. He knew the damn moment, lodging in his mind like a fish-bone.

"Damn it." He cursed as the second black flare pierced the sky. Two abnormals at once. He rode along the formation, towards the command squad. "Who's squad is on that flank of the formation, Erwin?"

"Mikes." Erwin confirmed. "He was taking a few rookies further out to see how the outer spotters had to react to things. Go give them aid Levi."

Levi rode over, trying to recall who had been on the squad with Mike, and then his head pounded as red flashed across his mind. Robyn Sanshi was on the squad. Why did that matter? It didn't. It was just a name that occurred easier than others due to her tiring nature and distinct hair. That was all.

That was all.

Levi got his horse moving again.

That was right, he first noticed four months beforehand, on the mission, when hearing her squad had encountered a double abnormal situation. They handled it. She came out the other side with a kill to her name, a bruised collarbone and a black eye to show for it. Not to mention the raucous laugh as her nerves simmered under the adrenaline. But realising she was there, facing two abnormals on her first mission, it started that strange fizzing along the back of his neck. The want to know how she had fared. Why?

He noted the first checkpoint on his patrol. All clear so far.

Worrying made no sense, if that was what it counted as. He wasn't sure. But it wasn't as if she was incapable of looking after herself or her comrades. She didn't need extra observation or anything. So why had he felt… nervous? Was that even the right word? He gritted his teeth. It was foolish, that was what it was, and he had to move past it. It didn't really matter why. All that mattered was staying focused and doing his duty, that was the only way to avoid damned regrets. That had kept him going long enough, there was no need to change things now.

Laughter sounded from near the main door to the barracks.

He glanced through the trees, expecting to see brats huddled round some knock-off booze they weren't meant to be having, or perhaps some young couple stealing a few kisses when no one was looking. Instead, he saw her. Sat laughing with Gunter and Hanji, enjoying drinking their tea after dinner. She smiled and clutched her stomach, setting her tea down as happy tears rolled down her face. Apparently Gunter had said something very amusing. Her laughter soon got Hanji going and then Gunter himself. The three of them chuckled in the golden light pooling from inside.

Levi stopped his horse and watched for a moment.

So open. So free with her feelings. So unabashedly her. Maybe. Unless of course it was an act for show, and she had just as much to hide as everyone else. He rolled his eyes at himself and kept moving. Of course she had a past, they all did. That didn't stop her from being her though. No. And a past was almost guaranteed with instincts that sharp. She knew danger, her body knew how to move within it, and how to survive. Not only on a mission had he seen that, but during hand-to-hand combat training, or sparring. She knew how to deal with people, and especially those bigger or stronger than herself.

He scratched the back of his neck, mind wandering back to the communal showers. That in itself showed her past. Not that he had been looking but with her towel tucked round her body, part of her upper back was revealed as she walked away, trying to escape after sassing him. Strange scars littered the skin between her shoulder blades. Like letters, or markings, etched into her skin from a long time ago. They all had pasts, but perhaps Sanshi's was especially dark. He sighed. But of course, he hadn't asked about the marks, that was too personal. Instead, he scolded her conduct, and gave her a typical Captain Levi telling off. Curt. Cold. Usually she brushed it off, she could take it, she had the character to do that without flinching. But as he spoke those last words about his duty, just don't go making it any harder than it already is, her face fell. It was like he had confirmed to her some deep-seated self-doubt.

But that wasn't it at all. He just didn't want someone else left out there to rot for no good reason. She had to be careful. They all did. Of course they all did. He cleared his throat as her wide eyes flashed into view again, they hadn't teared up, but he was damned if he hadn't expected them to. Then he walked past. He just left, because of course he did. Too cowardly to do anything else.

But why did he want to do anything else?

Because you like her, you idiot.

Levi ran a hand through his hair, wishing it wasn't quite so clear in his head what Farlan would say. His friend would wink, raise those brows suggestively and nod towards Sanshi, bright eyes scanning her before returning to Levi with a fresh smirk. Only Farlan wasn't there. Anymore. He'd been left out there to rot with Isabel. Pain lanced through Levi's chest and he made the turn back towards the stables. Full circle. Same as always. That's what he got for letting his mind wander. That was why it was better to just be the asshole Captain. It didn't matter how alluring her smile was, how infectious her laughter, how intense her gaze or quick her wit. Sure she was likeable, but she was also just as killable. As easily losable as anyone else.

But was it maybe worthwhile?

He jolted as he came into the light of the stables, and a couple cadets held his horse steady for him to dismount. They would take care of it. He thanked them and headed for his quarters. As if he could outrun the pervasive thoughts as they churned.

It wasn't like he wished he hadn't known Isabel and Farlan.

It wasn't like he would regret knowing them, or having gradually gotten used to the company of Shitty Glasses or Mike, or even the likes of Erwin. So would getting to know, even 'like', Sanshi be so bad? He slammed his door. The silence echoed. He swallowed hard. He had already grown to like her, that much was obvious.

So what else was going on in his head that he hadn't admitted to yet?

And there we have it! Chpt 1! I'm planning on uploading daily for maybe a week or more. But then it'll be changing to a weekly schedule, possibly bi-weekly. I'll keep you updated on my plans. Thanks for reading, following, faving and reviewing if you do! I'm excited to share this updated version.

Authors Note: I decided to give Red Burning Wings a rewrite for a few reasons. Firstly, it bloody needed it. I've come a long way in my writing since I wrote the original. Secondly, I wanted to give the story some more planning/structure, whereas the first time it was a case of "WHEEEEEEEE!" and I think that showed. Beyond that, I felt like it. The story will have similar beats in places, BUT it is not going to be the exact same story. First of all, it's starting earlier on. First version started AFTER the Female Titan arc, whereas this one is only a couple of years after Maria fell. And beyond that... Well I guess you'll just have to wait and see! So there we go! No complaining that it's different lol, if you want to reread the original, by all means, it will always be there. I love the original. It represents my love of writing being resurrected, but this rewrite has brought me a similar jolt of joy. I hope you enjoy! And if you are a returning reader, I'd be intrigued to see what you think of the changes! Thanks for reading!